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Category: Family Forum

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home (5)

    DEAR Reader, welcome again to another time of refreshing in the Word of God. I started this teaching by letting you know that you can build that glorious home, your desire. I also explained some vital ingredients for building a sweet home. Today, I want to teach on another enemy of peace in the home  Anger

    Every couple craves for a sweet home, but not every couple will experience it. This is because there are works of the flesh working against every home. As such, every couple that desires a sweet home should ask for the help of the Holy Spirit, in order to build a home free of strife and malice. Anger is a natural emotion that one exhibits at a particular time.  We all get angry at one time, but the difference between this and the work of the flesh, is sin. That is why the scripture says: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians 4:26).

    Here, the Bible warns that if you are angry, do not allow your anger to lead you to sin. Anger is a canker that has destroyed many marriages and rendered many children hopeless. Therefore, don’t sin by nursing your grudge and letting the sun go down with you still angry; get over it quickly. When you are angry, you give a mighty room to the devil.

    If you allow your temperament to boil, you open the door to sin. If you get upset about the way your spouse reacts to certain things at times, do not explode and speak cruel words, which can cause irreparable damage (Ecclesiastes 7:9). What makes you a mature individual is your ability to control your emotions until your anger simmers down.

    A sister was upset by her husband and angrily packed her things out of the home. The husband with other good neighbours pleaded with her to return home, but due to stubbornness she refused. She thought that her husband, being a Christian could not look for another woman. After a few months, her husband stopped pleading for her return. Later, she decided to return home but to her surprise, she met another woman. Her husband had taken another woman as a wife. Do you see what stubbornness and anger can cause? Though, they were believers, they were still robbed of a successful marriage. You shall not lose your home to anger.

    You don’t have to boil like a kettle of water on fire, just because your spouse expresses a different opinion.  Sometimes you get angry, lose your temper and allow unseemly words pass your lips just because your spouse advises that the action you are about to take is contrary to the Scripture. Watch it!

    Furthermore, some spouses try to suppress anger.  They get angry but swallow it by pretending everything is alright, and then plaster a smile on their faces. They are like shaking hot bottles of coca-cola. Once the lids are opened, the hot liquid rushes out in torrents. Bottling up anger is risky; it steals away the harmony in the home. Never give it a trial.

    You can let off the steam by discussing the issue of the anger at the appropriate time. Call upon the Holy Spirit to help you keep your temper so that you can live a life of love and peace, and not one filled with anger.

    Furthermore, it is important to know that anger is a killer. God’s Word says: Simeon and Levi, who slew the men of Shechem because of their uncontrollable anger got a horrible sentence: Simeon and Levi are brethren; Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel (Genesis 49:5-7). Anger must be dealt with, if you want to avoid the shame that division and scattering brings to a marriage.  Anger puts an end to a sweet marriage faster than adultery or fornication. One may not kill physically, yet by anger or even silence, you can kill your spouse’s spirit.  Watch it!

    You do not solve family problem(s) by strife but by the help of the Holy Spirit. You need a nature when you want victory over anger; one which lives for Jesus Christ and is controlled by the Holy Spirit. When Jesus possesses your home, He also possesses your tempers and keeps you from sinful anger.

    You can pray the following prayer for God to deliver you from the spirit of anger: “Lord, by Your grace, help me to be victorious over all thoughtless angers and bitterness that are harmful to my family member and myself, in Jesus’ mighty name!”

    Are you born-again? If you are not, you don’t have genuine access to operate the mind of Christ and that is one of the tools needed to control your anger (1 Corinthians 2:16). If you desire to give your life to Christ, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today.  I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.  Make me a child of God today.  Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home (4)

    Dear reader, It is wonderful to be able to share God’s Word with you once more, in this column. I have shown you what to do in order to build a sweet home. I, also, made you understand that you are the builder of your home and gave you three vital ingredients for building a sweet home.

    This week, I want to teach on Peace In the Home. If you look around, you will discover that peace is a scarce commodity in the world today. Many are searching for it with all their might, especially in their homes, to no avail. It is important to know that peaceful homes are not wished into being. This is because they do not drop from heaven, but are carefully and consciously cultivated into being by the parties involved.

    There is a popular inscription found in most Christian homes, which says, “Christ is the head of this home, the unseen guest at every meal, the silent listener to every conversation.” Yet, a lot of such families don’t enjoy peace because to them, Christ is only a picture and an inscription; He is not really the head of their home. I have seen couples who are Christians, but have never experience a 24-hour peace in their homes. They desire a sweet home but what they experience daily is sour home, where love never reigns. But I have good news for you.  The Word of God says: …He (Jesus) is the Prince of Peace! (Isaiah 9:6).

    When Jesus is given His rightful place in the home, absolute peace is guaranteed. Therefore, let Jesus be the head of your home in truth and indeed. Believe His Word, receive His instructions and obey them, and perfect peace and joy will become a permanent thing in your home. Below is a testimony of how God restored peace to the home of a sister:

    “I have been married for the past ten years but there was no peace in the home. For me, marriage wasn’t good because things were just upside down. I had a child in 1993 but it died. I also experienced series of miscarriages. I used to drive a car but suddenly, it was no more. It felt as if everything came to a halt.

    In January 1997, my husband joined the Winners’ Chapel Church. He didn’t ask me to come with him, because I was already attending another Pentecostal church. Yet, there was no peace in the home; rather, the situation worsened.

    In June 1997, the tension was so intense that I said, ‘Lord, what will I do?’ I told my husband, ‘If this is what marriage is all about, let us call it quit.’ He replied, ‘Well, the door is wide open. You can go.’ It was at that point that I sat down and did a rethink.

    That same month, I joined to Winners’ Chapel and during one of the services, I heard the Bishop say, ‘I have been married for many years now and there hasn’t been any concern or problem in my home.’  I said to myself, ‘Is it on this earth or on another planet?’

    But somehow, God has done it for me too! Now I know that I had been the problem, not my husband. My husband is a perfect gentleman! Also, the Bishop’s wife jokingly said that if there was anything as another life, she would still choose to marry her husband. Today, I can also, joyfully say the same!” Neburabo, R.

    Let’s look at one the enemies of peace in the home:Stubbornness:  What does it mean to be stubborn? In a nutshell, it means to be adamant, to be fixed on one’s purpose and opinion or to refuse positive development. It is simply the unwillingness to change and God hates such people. The Word of God says: …Stubbornness is as an iniquity and Idolatry… (1 Samuel15:23). In this scripture, stubbornness is equated with idolatry, and idolatry is a serious sin before God. This is because it is as grievous as the adoration of graven images. Therefore, prune it away from your family life before it prunes you away from your home.

    Stubbornness kills dreams. For instance, Saul’s kingdom was cut off from him because he refused correction (1 Samuel 15:1-28). If it can destroy a whole kingdom, then you need to prune it off your home before it robs you of a successful home. Imagine a man who makes up his mind to do something but refuses to be swayed by the pleading of his wife, even when her reasons are obviously in accordance with the Word of God. Watch such a man; he will end up in big trouble someday. The Word of God says: He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy (Proverbs 29:1).

    Stubbornness is an enemy of honour and dignity; thus, husband and wife, who delight in stubborn acts, will end up being stripped of honour. When someone breaks the hedge, anything evil can happen to him (Ecclesiastes 10:8). Wives, our husbands are the heads of the home. As such, we must be submissive to them. We must avoid conflicting decisions at home. Allow them to take the final decision as regards the progress of the home, so as to maintain peace in the home.

    Note this: Any woman who is strong-willed and unyielding is heading for disgrace and destruction. As a Christian mother, you must not allow the spirit of stubbornness to overshadow you. Be calm and articulate; calmness is not stupidity, but the cure for stubbornness.

    However, you must understand that if you are not born again, it will be difficult to maintain peace in your home.   Jesus Christ is the prince of peace.  Are you ready to accept Him? If so, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home (3)

    Dear Reader, You are most welcome to this week’s teaching. For the past weeks now, I have been teaching on the above subject. I have been able to make you understand that you are the builder of your home. I, also, gave you one of the vital ingredients for building a sweet home  Praise.

    This week, we are going to examine two other ingredients that make for a glorious and sweet marital life. I would like to refer to them as the nuggets for Christians, who desire to reap all the blessings of the marriage covenant.  These ingredients are: LOVE and EXCITEMENT

    Love is a potent force in the quest for a sweet home. It is the magnetic force that binds couples together. Love is a vital force for sweet relationship. No wonder Mother Theresa (Late), the noble peace prize winner, when asked, “What is the solution for world peace?” She answered, “Let everyone go home and love their families.” Love is the solution to every marital crisis! The Word of God says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

    The above scripture enumerates the characteristics of love. You can’t claim to love your spouse or family members when any of the qualities mentioned in the above scripture, is missing in your attitude towards them.

    The opposite of love is selfishness. This is a plague that has destroyed many homes and rendered many innocent children homeless in the society today. It is an abnormal affection for self and pursuit of selfish desires at the expense of your spouse or other members of your family.

    Selfishness is one of the traps of the devil. Thus, if you desire a sweet home, you must not give room to it. Instead, maintain a standard of self-control and discipline in your home, by running your home in accordance with the Word of God.

    Another plague that prevents love from flourishing in most Christian homes is anger. It carries very costly consequences. It has ruined the destiny of most homes. It steals the seeds of love from homes and replaces it with the seeds of discord, hatred and strife. Watch it! Stop it before it rubs you of a sweet home!

    God’s remedy for anger is: Let every man be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to be angry (James 1:5).

    You should, therefore, encourage your family members to love one another so that you can escape every trap of the enemy and enjoy the blessings of God as a family.

    Excitement

    Joy and excitement are the spices of life. Unfortunately, they are the major things lacking in most homes today. Some couples even find it difficult to smile at one another. But the Word of God says: Rejoice, and again I say rejoice (Philippians 4:4). The home is not meant for silence and dull atmosphere, resulting from cold wars between husband and wife or lack of love between family members. The home is meant to be a place of excitement.

    Look at this testimony:

    “I have been married for over 12 years, but what I am enjoying now, I’ve never enjoyed since I got married.

    During one of Pst. (Mrs.) Faith Oyedepo messages, she laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just like the Church submits to Christ. My understanding opened and I told God, “Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key.” Since that day, I have been enjoying what all my fasting and binding couldn’t deliver to me. I thank God because now, I feel as though I am wedded anew. To confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque of one hundred thousand Naira! I now enjoy peace, love and harmony. Adebayo, L

    The Word of God say: If I make you sad, who is going to make me happy? You are the ones to do it, and how can you if I cause you pain?” (2 Corinthians 2:2TLB). God created the family in such a way that the joy and pain of each member affects the other family members.  You are the one to create excitement in your home. Instead of being a problem to your family, why not create excitements? Don’t give room to sadness in your home.

    In addition, you need to give your life to Jesus in order to maximise all it takes to building a sweet home. If you are ready to do so, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home (2)

    DEAR Reader, Today shall be a good day for you! Your home will not fail; it will only get sweeter by the day in Jesus’ name! Last week, I started this teaching and I told you that you need wisdom to build your home. Today, I want to show you one of the vital ingredients for building a sweet home. That vital ingredient is Praise! It is important for you to know that God instituted marriage and He intended every home to be a sweet and peaceful place. When it is not so, it is evident that something is missing. A lot of people dream of a perfect home: a place where joy, peace, prosperity and fruitfulness abound. But they are not ready to pay the price. Thus, making their dreams seem far-fetched. However, I would like you to know that building a sweet home is possible, but it does not happen by chance. The Word of God says: Every house is builded by some man… (Hebrews 3:4). Just as it is in the natural, you cannot own a house by merely wishing it. Similarly, you cannot have a peaceful and exciting home except you play your part by accepting responsibilities.

    One of the ways of building a sweet home is by locating the good qualities in your spouse and children, and to praise them for it, rather than focusing on their areas of weakness and mistakes. Praise is the master key to an enviable Christian living and that is the missing ingredient in most Christian homes today.

    I remember the story of a woman who went to a counsellor and said, “My husband is very bad; I want to leave him.” The counsellor drew a circle and said, “Put a dot in the circle for every fault your spouse has committed.” The woman started putting dots in the circle for as many offences as she could remember: He insulted me; he didn’t give me money. She continued until she could remember no more. The counsellor then said, “Madam, the undotted space in the circle is still larger than the dotted part. That means your husband is not as bad as you want me to believe.” The woman was advised to go home and make things right with her husband. You need to appreciate God for your family members and be determined to be happy with them. Cast away bitterness from your household and let every unpleasant situation in the past be forgiven and forgotten for good.Below is a testimony of the proof that praises work.

    “In October 1995, my marriage witnessed the hardest and most shocking heat of breaking! My husband was charmed as he returned from the village. When he got home, situation in the house changed. He no longer ate the food I cooked and subsequently ordered me to pack out of the house. But God the Creator of heaven and earth, Who knows every home, restored mine!

    During the October 1995 Breakthrough Seminar, a friend invited me to that service.  In the course of that service, God spoke through the Bishop concerning married couples, especially those whose parents were controlling their family affairs. He also spoke about men who used their wives as punching bags. Fortunately, my husband was at that service. He didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong, until he attended that service.

    After that service, we bought a bottle of the anointing oil and blessed it. When we got home, we sprinkled it and drank some.By the end of that Breakthrough Seminar, my home was calm! The Lord visited us in a unique way by sending His messenger to tell us to restore our home and cast out the hand of the devil in our lives.

    Thereafter, a woman visited and preached to us concerning marriage and home-breaking, yet we never told anybody about the problem. That was God sending His Words in our direction.

    Even angels visited us! In fact, from then on, we started to hear the direct voice of God concerning our lives and to receive divine direction in all our endeavours! Today, my home is blessed in numerous ways and I no longer have prayer requests because the Lord continually directs my steps. All I do now is praise God because praise brings about my raising, according to my Bishop.”

    -Enwere, B. C.

    As a family, find time to praise God together because it will fill your home with God’s presence. Remember that wherever God is, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forever more (Psalm 16:11).

    My husband says, “Until you learn how to be grateful, you don’t taste greatness.” This is because the depth of your gratitude determines the depth of God’s commitment to your lifting. Do you want greatness in your family? Then learn to appreciate God and your family members.

    If you are not acquainted with the mystery of praise, you may miss all the goodness of life in your family. Though, God’s plan and determination is to bring your family into laughter this year, in 1 Samuel 12:30, He says: …For them that honour me I will honour …. This means that even though God has committed Himself to make you enjoy heaven on earth this year, it will take your praising Him to make it a reality in your life and family.

    Remember, as you want others to do to you, do the same to them! Therefore, praise God and He will raise you; Praise your family members and you will get the best out of them.

    Are you born-again? If you are not, you need to be. If you are ready to be among the redeemed, say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to another time of insight in God’s presence. By the special grace of God, all through this month, I shall be discussing on Accepting Responsibility in Building Your Home. For this week, I shall discuss one of the vital keys you will need for the effective building of your home, which is wisdom.

    What is Wisdom?

    Wisdom is hearing the sayings of our Lord Jesus Christ and doing them. It is the correct application of knowledge. Therefore, wisdom demands that you take steps in applying correctly all that you will learn from God this month concerning your home. Only then, will you begin to reap the fruits of a sweet and a successful home. The Bible says: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

    The place of wisdom in building a successful home cannot be overemphasized. The Word of God says: Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).

    Wisdom is the principal thing on which all other things rest. A home is meant to be built in order for it to be successful. The Bible says: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3). Therefore, to build a successful home, wisdom is required. A wise man once said, “Courtship brings out the best, marriage brings out the rest.” That is why you need the God-given wisdom to know your spouse, adapt to him or her, and bring out the best that God has designed for your home.

    You are the builder of your home. Therefore, accept responsibilities and stop wishing. Work on making your home a success, and you will reap the fruits of your labour. Expectation, as often said, is the mother of manifestation. Therefore, what do you expect your home to be? Success or failure; stressful or stress-free; full of troubles or peace?

    If you expect success in your home, then get down to work by applying the wisdom of God. Be a doer of the Word. Do whatever God tells you to do; that is wisdom. When you do your part, God is committed to making your home a success. He can never fail.

    In addition, the Bible instructs all husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7). This means that you should understand her nature. When a man understands the nature of his wife and works according to that understanding, problems are less likely to arise in that home. You must realise that she is a wife, mother and homemaker all at once, and these place demands on her. Therefore, be considerate towards her and be available to minister to her needs. Don’t wait for her to play her part first; live by example. Wives are not to be treated as slaves or inferior human beings. Rather, they should be held in respect. This is the wisdom of God! Men, who beat their wives, exhibit folly and sin against God.

    Woman! God has placed the building of the home into your hands. That is why the Bible says: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1).

    Therefore, don’t pluck down your home; operate in the wisdom of God. Don’t operate in foolishness; abide with God’s instructions; they are not grievous (1 john 5: 3). Even if you happen to be married to a man whose level of understanding is lower than yours, remember Abigail. Through her wisdom and understanding, she saved her home even though she had a foolish husband (1 Samuel 25:1-27).

    Identify your husband’s weaknesses and help him to work on them. Learn to appreciate his good points and always point out his mistakes in a kind and loving manner. This is God’s wisdom; embrace it. If you abide by God’s instruction, it will make your home precious before God and before men. Remember, as husband and wife, you are the builders of your home.

    Moreover, marriage can be likened to a physical house and as such, it does not just happen; it is consciously built. For instance, you don’t just wake up one day and see a physical house grow up somewhere. It takes conscious effort and input to make it happen.  In the same manner and even much more, a good marriage doesn’t just happen; it is consciously made to happen. The Word of God says: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3).

    You have the duty to build your home the way you want it to be. Therefore, stop shifting your responsibilities to God. As my husband would always say, “Any faith that makes God absolutely responsible for the happenings of your life is an irresponsible faith.” The act of building is your responsibility.  You must fulfill your own part before God would fulfill His.

    Here is the testimony of a sister who wisely applied God’s Word as she was taught and obtained a positive result:

    “Throughout the last Breakthrough Seminar, My husband did not attend any of the programme. I did not know what was wrong, so I put it in prayers. When the Bishop asked us to write a list of what we don’t want to reoccur in our lives, I wrote that my husband would return and give his life fully to Christ. He used to attend services before but suddenly, he stopped. He also stopped participating in the prayers we held at home.

    I knew I am more than conquerors.  So, I said, ‘You this devil, you must get out of this home. There is no room for you here’. I also believed God to grant all my desire. Miraculously, the following day being a Sunday, my husband came to church. Since then, he is the one that wakes us up for prayers!”

    -Okorie, T.

    I see God giving you your own testimony!

    You need wisdom to build your home and God is the source of that wisdom. In case you are born again and you need the wisdom of God to build your home, God is no respecter of persons; He will give you.

    If you are not yet born again and you want to do so, you have to surrender your life to God by confessing your sins. You also need to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Just say this prayer of faith and you shall be born again: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)

  • Wasted love, wasted years (2)

    This is the continuation of last week story. For those of my ardent readers who were not privileged to read he first part of the article. Well, I would be glad to give you a brief of the gist.

    Yeah!  Just have this at the back of your mind. If you love a woman or man and he or she loves you too, then be happy and thank you stars. You are indeed lucky.

    There are so many people out there who have dished their love out in a platter of gold but wickedly rejected, despised and mocked.  Some are so worse that they refuse to love again, instead they find themselves entangled in a flirt-spree. Or what they often call friends with romance, friends with benefits.

    That was the case of this very young man in the story. His heart was brutally pieced and given back to him in pieces.

    Continuation…..

    “You neither answered my phone calls nor responded to my text messages of love and affection, wondering what may have happened to you. My heart became a restless heart whenever you didn’t come home from work to be with our family: You once told me that you had seventy two hours to return my phone calls. If you had seventy two hours to return your man’s phone calls, then what am I doing with you. But it was part of your ploy to play the field of cheats. I still loved you. Things you do when you are in love with this little town’s pretty girl!

    Stella, I was hurt in my first experience at love. When I recovered from that heart-break, I promised never to love any woman until I was certain it was true love. I promised to be faithful, loyal and honest to my true love, just as my nation’s citizens were to my native land. I treasured my love and for over 15 years, I played the field as a single- lady’s-man and Casanova. It was an exciting experience for me. I lived the life of a gigolo because I was humanly endowed. I did not care about feelings for the ladies that accepted my happy endings’ invitation. These were my life until I met you and we became soul mates.

    I did not expect to love a punisher. I wanted a lover whose religion would be supreme attention, affection and unconditional love. I was ready to share my life with you. I began to imagine our future together the moment I fell in love with you. I opened the portions of my love saved for 15 years, giving you the best of me, every day. I gave you me, me and me. Shortly after, we began to live together I noticed a change in your attitudes in our relationship. You felt I had come to invade your privacy. I suggested several times to move out so as to help our young love grow, but you would plead with me to stay because you were falling in love. Soon, you would randomly leave home and not return until the next day. When I asked you where you had been all-day and why you didn’t bother to respond to my calls and text messages, you sternly told me that you didn’t owe me any explanations as to where you were: you were not my wife: we were just friends, not even lovers, and so I shouldn’t bother you or care about waiting on you if you did not return.

    Beauty, my dear Stella comes from within: True beauty is like afro beat music; very panoramic. It should be contagious because it comes from inside out. It is soulful and enriching. It is intoxicating and charming. True beauty lasts a lifetime. True beauty is the fabric of our lives, not the facial and physical endowment that you flaunt daily. These beauties shall fade some days from us; they shall become faceless identities and we the beautiful people of the world would soon come to accept that which life privileged us. By the time you wake up to realities of loving and living, you would belong to history, just as dates. You would be alone and lonely, deserted by true love because of your arrogance and stupidity. You are in prime time of your life, so live it up. Love comes to those that wait, but not waiting for long. Life is too short to be miserable and continuously live in a relationship that I don’t feel loved. Love is like a two way third Mainland Bridge crowded with seekers of all things bright and beautiful and life, understanding and care. I will take the remaining fragments of my love life and wonder free into the universe. Somewhere, somehow, someone is out here, waiting for me. I will find that true woman that deserves my love before the sun goes down on us. Thanks for the wasted years.”

    Note: Cherish what you have, before it becomes what you had. Don’t cry had I known. Love is indeed a beautiful thing. Love and be loved in return.

    Till next week, I shall be here again for you my lovely ladies.

  • YEDI hosts Malaria Football Tournament

    YEDI hosts Malaria Football Tournament

    In commemoration of the 2015 World Malaria Day, Youth Empowerment and Development Initiative (YEDI) will host a community tournament.

    The tournament which has been tagged “ Kick Against Malaria Football Tournament” is in partnership with Special Olympics Nigeria and is targeted at fighting malaria using the power of football to convey the message.

    Statistics given by the World Health Organization (WHO) shows that 3.2billion people are at risk of the disease which results in over 198 million cases of Malaria and some 755,000 deaths every year; people living in poor countries are the most vulnerable. The statistics also show that in 2013 alone, an alarming ‘90% of the world’s Malaria deaths occurred in Africa and over 430,000 African children died before their fifth birthdays’.

    Kick Against Malaria Football Tournament will feature free Malaria testing and treatment, free distribution of long lasting insecticidal treated nets, family health forum, health talk on Malaria, music and refreshment, among other activities.

    Powered by ExxonMobil and supported by Coca-Cola Nigeria, the event will hold on Friday May 1st, 2015 at St. Finbarr’s College, Akoka, Lagos, by 10am.

     

     

  • Wasted love, wasted years (1)

    This story was shared by one of my mentors. I read it over and over again and couldn’t help it as I took a deep breath after each reading session.

    To you, my dear ardent readers, always remember to appreciate what you have: your husband, wife, fiancée or fiancé. We all need to value our relationships because honestly, we don’t know the number of people out there dying of envy, wanting to be in your shoes. And they might do anything to achieve their evil intentions.

    There are always chances and room for improvement, change and learning. One man is an island of knowledge.

    Love is always best when it is returned in double folds. I love and I also love being loved.

    This week’s article is all about a letter a man wrote to his girlfriend, calling off their relationship. While reading this, at a point, I felt like crying.  Please read along with me and learn some big lessons of life.

    “My dearest Jessica,

    I don’t love you any more. You may find these words hard to believe. And I really don’t care if you believe me because I have always told you how much I love you. It’s the way I feel about you after three years of living together in this loveless relationship. By the time you get home from your high priced job, I would have gone. It has been a privilege and a pleasure loving you these years. It is the best decision for you and me to go our separate ways. I need to stop lying to myself and keep holding on that you would someday change your ways and love me back. I was in love with you. Sadly you didn’t appreciate my love for you. You were blinded by your beauty and the attention bestowed upon you by flirty males. You always told me that every male in this universe wanted a slice of your virtues. So why bother falling in love with me when you are an empress. You could get whatever you wanted in a world flowing with handsome single studs.

    In a relationship, some gave all. I gave you everything. But you never seemed to appreciate the true love that I showered on you. My love was real, so real the world almost felt it. Stella, you were the only person that did not feel this love. You always told me that you could get any man you wished. You constantly reminded me of how men chased you every day at work and other places. It was easy to get any man that you desired. I felt trapped then because I was deeply in love with you. I was afraid and scared of losing you to any man. I felt that you were the most beautiful royalty God gave to me. I was in love, so divine and so committed to you.

    You occasionally played with my heart and I would foolishly believe you. You expressed love passively, but actively, I knew the expressions were not from your heart. I endured this torture through the years, hoping against hopes that someday, you would tell me that you truly cared. Time is not on my side. Sometimes waiting for love may be a risky business. I can’t keep waiting and holding on to love for that may not be there. I don’t trust you anymore. Hence I am stepping aside and moving on so that you may go and be with any man that you desired from the flocks wanting you. I just wondered which of these men would stay forever and tolerate your weaknesses and arrogance. Which of these men would cook for you and serve you lunch at work?

    I served as your lover and housekeeper in love. I picked your laundry every weekend, and affectionately washed them. I encouraged you to go back to school and worked hardest while you earned your MBA. I left work every evening, ran home to care for your son, while you went to classes after work. While you were gone to school, I made dinner to await you on your return. Every morning, I prepared breakfast and served you in bed because I loved you. I bought you a vehicle and filled it with gas weekly. I paid all the bills and bought groceries. I asked you to spend your money on yourself. I cared very much for you. I threw the biggest parties for you on your birthdays, decorated your days with endless gifts, red roses and tulip flowers.

    Despite these, you violently abused me and scarred my body with any instrument within your reach during your periods of rage over a simple domestic misunderstandings and musings. I have bite marks all over my body from your sudden stupid rage. You physically and mentally abused me. I stayed in this sometimes reckless relationship and absorbed your domestic violence towards me because I was stupidly in love. Stella today is a new day and I just found a new me. I want to be free. And I am going to be free from your lies.

  • How to transform your marriage (4)

    Dear reader, I welcome you to this last edition of the series of the teaching of this month. I want you to know that it is not just reading alone that guarantees your desired result.  It is your doing and taking a conscious and practical step based on what you have read so far, that can guarantee you the sweetness you desire in your home.

    God has made provisions for home to be sweet and produce well for you and I, but we have a responsibility to develop that plan.  It is like the negative film of a picture.  The photographer must spend time in the darkroom developing the negative and come out with a beautiful picture.  A negative must be developed, before it becomes enviable.  This is the same thing with home.  You must develop your home, by doing those little things that you may think don’t really matters.

    So far, we have seen the potency of the words that can transform a marriage and make the home ever sweet.  This week, God has another powerful secret for us and that secret is, Touching & Giving of Gifts.

    This is a very important act. Sometimes, a touch speaks just as much as words. It communicates “I am in touch with you.” It keeps the fire burning at times, when words are clumsy.  When this vital factor is lacking, the couple stays aloof and withdrawn. The atmosphere in the house is usually tense.

    A touch communicates warmth. When a husband, for instance, puts his arms around his wife, it brings warmth that neither money nor words can produce. Husband and wife, study to be romantic. Couples are to be “ravished” by each other’s love!  God’s Word says …: Be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:19) “Ravished” means transported by delight. It works!

    Husband, there may be times when your wife is down physically, remember that “love is medicine.” At such times, all you need to do is to show a little more love and she’ll be well! Some kind words, a little physical touch, some kisses or a little gift from you as husband to her as a wife! The time she would have spent at the doctor’s office could be used by you to demonstrate your love to her and you wouldn’t need to spend your money for drugs anymore! I’ll never forget an experience I had some years ago.

    There was a time when I was really down physically.  My husband went out one of those days and came back with a little gift, beautifully wrapped and personally presented to me, to further express his love for me. Could you believe that, that little act of love from him brought me health and I never needed medication? There’s no woman who hates to be loved.

    These are little things, but they have the ability to lift up your marriage. Love is medicine! We love those who are precious and honour them.

    God so loved the world that He gave His son! If you claim to love, it must find expression in giving.  A thoughtful little gift at the right time can work wonders! You must make it a point of duty to remember special days such as birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, and share the joy of the moment by exchanging gifts. These were the things you did, while courting; you shouldn’t let them slip by just because you’re now married.

    A gift at the right time to your spouse can enhance your relationship and make it more precious. Remember Elkanah and Hannah? Elkanah was sensitive to the needs of his wife. He had so mastered the art of ministering to Hannah’s emotional needs that he could say to her, …Am not I better to thee than ten sons (I Samuel1:8). You will not fail in Jesus’ name!

    If you are not born again, it will be impossible for you to benefit from what has just been discussed. However, if you want to be born again and become a child of God now, you can say this simple prayer with me in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Now I know I am born again!”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name!Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • How to transform your marriage (3)

    Dear Reader, you are welcome to another very interesting time in God’s presence.  My focus is still on How to Transform Your Marriage.

    Last week, we saw how powerful the word, “Thank you” is. This week, we will yet be receiving another secret that will enhance the transformation you desire in your marriage. It is learning to says, “I love you.”

    Saying, “I love you” over and over again spices up the marriage. Words are powerful, and just like it is necessary for rain to fall again and again for farmers to reap a bountiful harvest, so also is it necessary to say, “I love you” over and over again.

    The relationship started off by the use of these three words should grow by its continuous use.  A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  The presumptuous claim that it’s not necessary to say it over and over again because, “He or she should know I love him/her,” is wrong.  The Bible points out the importance of voicing out what one believes in the heart (Romans 10:10).  What you believe in your heart, you need to say with your mouth.  No one can read minds, and until thoughts are voiced out, they remain private.

    These are just three short words, yet by them men and women come together to establish God’s counsel on the earth.  Often, however, these words are forgotten, after the excitement of the wedding ceremony is over.

    Faith, the Bible tells us, comes by hearing. If faith, the all-important mountain mover, becomes ours by the simple act of hearing, imagine how many mountains will be moved out of your homes when you say, “I love you” to your spouse often!

    Someone once said the problem is that we say what we have, instead of what we want.  If you want the oil in the home to dry up, confess the negative.  That’s how God won man to Himself – while we were yet sinners, Christ died, thus saying, “I love you” to people who rejected His love.  However, the day you decide to accept His love, is a day of the fulfilment of prophecy.

    Husband and wife must learn to speak kind words to each other.  Words create the atmosphere of a sweet home relationship.  Express to your mate the nice qualities you like in him or her.  There must be a continued renewal of your love towards your spouse (Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25-28).

    Someone rightly said, “Action speaks louder than words.” There is a place for words, but there’s a place for action.  Lending a helping hand, being available, make a difference in relationships.  They are a way to say, “I care”.  Someone once said that it can be quite frustrating for a woman to do all the work in the house, while the man sits in front of the television enjoying a game of football, only to say to the tired woman, “I love you, dear”.  She knows you love her; at least you’ve said so, but take a step and help her with the household chores. It adds zest to your words.

    When a wife hears, “I love you” from the husband, her countenance changes.  She cannot hear it too much.  My husband is never too tired to appreciate and say, “I love you” to me.  Each time I hear that from my husband, I’m excited and on top throughout the day.  It works!

    Say the words before leaving for work and when you come home.  Say, “I love you” before hanging up the phone or after a particularly inspiring conversation.  Every marriage needs a daily dose of these three important words.  “I love you” often is never a bad habit to cultivate.  Even if we are upset with our spouse that day, saying “I love you” may help us forgive him or her.

    Learn to say nice words to your family members. Husbands, it’s not wrong to say, “I love you” to your wife often.

    If you are not born again, you are not yet a child of God and it will be impossible for you to benefit from what has just been discussed, as God is only committed to His own (Romans 10:9-10; John 1:12).  However, if you want to be born again and become a child of God now, why not say this simple prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Now I know I am born again!”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name!

    Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).