The Nation Newspaper

Category: Family Forum

  • Making a change in your problematic children (2)

    DEAR Reader, Greetings to you in the most precious name of Jesus Christ! I count it a great privilege to bring God’s Word your way again today. It is my earnest prayer that God would grant you the wisdom required to handle your God-given seed, in Jesus’ name. Last week, I started this teaching by explaining the causes of problematic children. Today, I shall be discussing The Solutions to the Problem of Rejection.

    I want you to know that every problem has a solution, and every question has an answer. As overwhelming as the foregoing problems of children may be, they are not without solutions in the Word of God. The Word of God says: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13). No matter the problem you are facing right now concerning your children, there is always a way out.

    One man in scriptures who knew the meaning of the word ‘rejection’ was David. Out of all his brothers, he was the least loved. He was even forgotten when Samuel came to anoint a king for Israel. But David had a secret: the more he was rejected by men, the closer he got to God. In other to overcome this rejection as a child, you need a strong relationship with God. This is the best way to deal with the problem of rejection, for there is no other way out. The Word of God says: When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up (Psalm 27:10).

    As parents, our aim must be to help our children out of whatever problems of rejection they may be having, and let them have a strong relationship with God, because only God can give them true comfort. For instance, the man of God, Larry Lea, who has a flourishing church in America today, faced severe rejection and depression at 17. His father, who was very wealthy, had given him a posh car, and the entire second floor of their home was his. His mother was a Christian, who did her best to bring him up in the fear of the Lord, but there was a certain emptiness inside him that money could not fill nor satisfy. That feeling of emptiness became so severe that he lost his mind, and was committed to a psychiatric home. At a point, he knew he was at the verge of insanity, when something happened.

    In his psychiatric ward he caught sight of a crucifix, with the inscription, INRI. He grabbed it, wondering what INRI was. But soon his eyes fell on other crucifixes in the Catholic chapel next to his ward. He picked them and began running, and the Catholic nuns pursued him, solving the mystery of INRI for him, saying, “It’s not Henry, it’s Jesus.” When he got back to his ward, he knelt down and cried out for Jesus to help him. Instantly, he heard a voice that not only told him he had been saved, but called him to preach the Gospel. That was the end of rejection, depression and insanity in his life. Are you in that same situation today, God who did it for that man of God will do it for you too! He is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34).

    How to get your child into a personal relationship with God: By prayer

    You can pray for your child, breaking the power of satan over his/her life, bind the spirit of rejection, depression or rebellion, and cast them out of your child’s life. Pray that the scales on his eyes would drop off, so that he can see what the devil wants to do to him. I will also pause here to tell you the story of a great man of God, Novel Hayes. He recounted how his daughter was possessed by the spirit of drug addiction and rebellion. She had done all manner of terrible things, which brought pain to his heart and shame to his ministry. But he would not give up praying intensely for her. God delivered her in a very dramatic way.

    One day, as she slept, a huge man appeared in her room: he was twice the size of an average man. He said nothing, did nothing, just sat on her bed. Then he stood up and left her room, walking down the hallway and the curious youngster followed him. But, she was startled when he turned and walked through the wall. It was then that it occurred to her that this was no ordinary man, but an angel. That encounter ended her years of rebellion. Somebody once said that the devil has the “gift” of patience; he never wants to give up. So, Christians must also persevere in prayers of deliverance for any rebellious child.The most effective kind of prayer is the one that is anchored on the Word of God. God has made several provisions for the deliverance of our children, as the Word of God says: But thus saith the Lord, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children (Isaiah 49:25).Having located the scripture, go to God in prayer, presenting your case to Him.

    The Word of God says: Produce your cause, saith the Lord; bring forth your strong reasons, saith the King of Jacob (Isaiah 41:21).Secondly, plead the Blood of Jesus and use the name of Jesus to pull down satanic strongholds in the life of the child. The Word of God says: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; (Philippians 2:10). Also, Revelation 12:11 says: And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Do this in faith, refusing to doubt, and you will see that mountain levelled out of the life of your child forever. Prayer changes things!

    Are you a boy or a girl, facing the problem of rejection? You need to pray your way out of that mess. You remember the story of Jabez? The Word of God says: And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow. And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested (1 Chronicles 4:9-10).

    It doesn’t matter who has rejected you or placed curse(s) on your life; the God, Who did it for Jabez is ever ready to do it for you, when you call on Him in prayer. Jabez did not keep quiet; he called on the God of Israel, and He answered him. God’s Word says: Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrew 4:16). You have been given a free ticket to approach the throne of grace for God’s help and this is one of such times where you need it the most. I see the help of God coming your way today, in Jesus’ name!

    It takes salvation to access the help of God and to be able to pray, and receive answers to your prayers. You need God’s help to handle your children? You can say this prayer in faith and be born again: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Family foundation (5)

    Hello Reader,

    In my first teaching, I taught on how you can put God first in building a solid foundation for your family. In subsequent editions, I showed you the key of agreement and taught you how you can fulfill your mutual obligations. Furthermore, I told you that the key of agreement and mutual obligations is not enough; you must give your family quality time investment if you desire success in your home. This week, I want you to know that God Designed Your Family for Blessing.

    After establishing the home, the Bible says: And God blessed them. In other words, He proclaimed blessings on them, not curses. Remember also that when God blesses, no man can curse (Numbers 23:20). So, His blessings always stick!

    This should excite you, because it means that no matter the family into which you were born or are married into, it is God’s intention to bless your family. Your family is blessed, and because the blessings of God make rich and add no sorrow to it (Proverbs 10:22), whatever has been causing sorrow in your family is rolled away right now!

    One major cause of crisis in homes today is curses, particularly those from the devil and his agents. You find a husband and wife who are believers and have vowed to love each other for the rest of their lives, quarrelling, fighting or even going as far as filing for divorce. While any of these could be traced to many other factors; more often than not, there is a curse at work. However, no matter where that curse is coming from, because you are connected to God and are a child of destiny, I see God turning those curses to blessings.

    God designed the family to be a mini-heaven, so He blessed the man and his wife, pronounced them fruitful and places them in a garden. When God finished creating man and his wife, He declared them very good and as a result, they didn’t experience shame. From today, your home will be what God designed it to be!

    Don’t ever despise the family into which you were born.  No matter the challenges there, God sent you there for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). The family into which you are born is not a product of your choice because you did not choose who your father or mother would be. You cannot change your father; neither can you change your mother.  However, God never makes mistakes.  Whatever family you are born into is not accidental; God did it on purpose and it is for your good.

    Don’t ever wish you were born into another family. The family into which you are born is the best for you to fulfill your purpose for existence.  So, get excited!

    However, in case you feel that I am speaking to you because of the kind of home you find yourself, please be confident of this: God does not make mistakes! Whatever family into which you were born or have entered into by wedlock is no accident; it is no coincidence and definitely not a mistake! God brought you into that family for a purpose, and I know that it is for you to reflect the heavenly life on earth.

    From today, therefore, whenever you think about your family, don’t secretly wish you belonged to another; rather, lift up your hands and celebrate God. Be grateful and excited; then ask God to help you fulfill the purpose for which He has placed you in that family. As you do so, you are on your way to enjoying heaven in your home!

    To enjoy the blessing that God has designed in your marriage and family, you need to be born again. This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Family foundation (3)

    Hello Reader,

    Welcome to yet another time in God’s presence. In my first teaching, I showed you how to put God first in building a solid foundation for your family. Last week, I taught on the Key Of Agreement and this week, I will be teaching on Fulfilling Your Mutual Obligations.

    In building a solid foundation for your family, it is a must that you fulfill your mutual obligations. When I say ‘mutual obligations,’ I mean romance, affection, intimacy and sexual relationship that should be fulfilled in your marriage. God’s idea of procreation establishes the coming together of husband and wife. The Word of God says: Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband (1Corinthians 7:1-5).

    Many homes are broken today because couples lack the understanding of this concept. The moment a home becomes deficient in marital affairs or romance, it will begin to break. Sexual relationship is God’s approved channel for procreation and pleasure. Everything done against it by either the husband or the wife is targeted at the ruin of the home. The Word of God says: And Adam knew Eve his wife; and conceived and bare Cain… (Genesis 4:1). This means that Adam had marital sex with his wife and she conceived.

    Proverbs 5:18-19 says: Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. God intended that couples fulfill their mutual obligations for procreation and pleasure. He created the necessary organs and feelings in you, so that this commandment can be fulfilled. Fulfilling your mutual obligations with a wholesome approach to it will heal many wounds in homes today. Statistics show that families where the husband and wife enjoy each other sexually are the happiest homes. “For the breasts of a man’s wife to satisfy him,” means that the two of them have pleasure in marital sex.

    Someone once said that probably more fraud is practised in marriage than in any other area of life. This is because at the request of sex, you hear many husbands and wives give excuses such as: “Not now! I have a headache.” “Why don’t you think about something else for a change?” “I am too tired” or “I am too busy.”

    Not fulfilling your mutual obligation is marital fraud and every act of marital fraud is an offence. It rubs the homes of glory and beauty. When you fulfill your mutual obligations, you will find out that every act of love expressed becomes the engine oil that keeps your marriage running smoothly. It also successfully blocks any loopholes that might give the enemy a foothold in your marriage. When mutual obligations are fulfilled, the husband and wife will both be satisfied and their level of productivity in other areas will be at its maximum! A man can withstand any shortcoming in a marriage like: “She can’t cook,” “She’s too fat,” “She’s not submissive,” “She’s not even a Christian.” But, he will not be able to stay with a wife who does not fulfill her mutual obligations. Behind every separation or divorce is a breakdown in either party fulfilling his or her mutual obligations.

    After the solemnization of a marriage, the rules of abstaining from sex as singles, engaged or in courtship ends. Sex is no longer forbidden; if anything, it becomes an essential part of the union. However, the marriage bed can be defiled by the married, when adultery is committed by the man or the woman.  God’s Word in Hebrews 13:4 says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Adultery opens the door for God’s judgment and causes you to lose your spouse’s respect, and honour that was originally meant for marriage.

    Rather than been caught in the web of adultery, make yourself available for your spouse and fulfill your mutual obligations. You may just need to go back to those little acts of love you used to do, when you first got married: those sweet things that made your honeymoon exciting. You might need to start treating your spouse a lot more lovingly: doing whatever is necessary to ensure the fulfillment of your mutual obligations. You will not fall into any of the enemy’s trap in Jesus’ name!

    Without God you cannot build a foundation for your family. As such, you need to surrender your life to the Lord Jesus Christ today and be born again. You can say this prayer if you wish to do so: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Family foundation (2)

    Hello Reader,

    I welcome you to God’s presence today. Last week, I showed you how you can build a solid foundation by putting God first in your family. I know that as you give God His rightful place in your family, He will visit you with His peace and success in your home, in Jesus’ name. This week, we will study another vital block you can use in building a solid foundation for your family. It is the Key of Agreement.

    The struggles and ultimate failure experienced in many families today are traceable to lack of agreement. The devil always take special delight in breaking down agreement in the home, because he knows that once disagreement creeps in, the peace in a family is lost forever.  A family is impossible to build without the key of agreement. The Word of God says: Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3). Disagreement in a family will shut the door against God and the blessings He carries. God is never found in a home where disunity and disagreement dwells. When God is not there, then that family becomes the ‘devil’s workshop’. In such a home, there is no meaningful progress and order. I cancel every form of disunity and disagreement in your home right now and replace them with the sweet peace of God, in Jesus’ name.

    You stand to gain a lot when you operate the key of agreement.  The Word of God says: Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 18:19). This means that the success, promotion, breakthrough or miracle that you desire can easily be obtained when there is agreement in your home. Marriage is meant for agreement, not for disagreement. Until husband and wife are in agreement, family success and peace are impossible.

    Once there is agreement: spirit, soul and body, your family will be at its best. Agreement in the body means that you are only physically committed to your spouse. Couples must have the same beliefs and be in total agreement. The Word of God says: And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do (Genesis 11:6).

    Again, it is important to know that for you to practise the key of agreement in building a solid foundation for your family, you need knowledge. Knowledge is the ability to collate and access information. This, alone, may not be beneficial, except the information gathered is understood and leading you to the next line of action. Understanding, on the other hand, is the ability to extract meaning out of information, which produces principles; while wisdom is the ability to decipher which principle(s) to apply now.

    As you dwell together with the members of your family, it is important for you to embrace knowledge. Lack of knowledge has destroyed a lot of marriages today. Yours shall never be destroyed in Jesus’ name. When the Bible enjoins us to dwell according to knowledge in 1 Peter 3:7, what it actually means is that there are certain facts that one must lay hold on in order to enjoy family success. The Word of God says: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hoses 4:6).

    There are a lot of family crises when we have little or no knowledge of our family members. If your wife puts too much salt in the soup for instance, see it as a result of her attempt to ensure that there is enough salt in the soup and not a deliberate act. Know that your wife would not plan to hurt you, and neither would your husband; but the devil is behind the strife in your home. His aim is to destroy the peace in your home but you can decide not to give him room to do so.

    Knowing God is the beginning of building a solid foundation for your family. As a man or woman, you need God to make your home what God designed it to be. Therefore, it is time for you to surrender to God, the Builder of all things, to help you build and manage your home because by strength shall no man prevail. So, say this prayer with me if you are ready to give God charge over your home: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Family foundation (1)

    HELLO Reader, for you to succeed in your family life, you must set your priorities right for the building process. Foundation matters in a building; for, if the foundation be destroyed, the righteous can do nothing. So, your first building block for a solid foundation for your family is to PUT GOD FIRST.

    Although it is your responsibility to build your home, the ultimate builder is God. The Word of God says: For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God (Hebrews 3:4). Trying to build your family outside Him, therefore, will give you little or no success. God, Himself is the Author and Creator of marriage and family. He was practically involved in instituting it (Genesis 2:18, 21-22). He personally took His time in fashioning the woman and delivered her to her husband. Marriage and family are not the idea of any man, culture or tradition; it is God’s idea. Therefore, to enjoy God’s best in your family, you must make Him the centre of your home. You must be ready to give Him priority place and recognize Him as the foundation for a successful home and family.

    Your family needs God’s help to be exempted from troubles, woes and calamities that befall families in our world today. Man is still searching everywhere for lasting solutions to problems that is encountered in marriages and families today. However, in Psalm 60:11, the Psalmist shows us the secret to an enduring solution:  Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man. When you give God “first place” in your family, He makes His help available to you for the turnaround you desire in your home. That is why God’s help is all you need.

    The challenge with many couples is that they push God aside and expect to enjoy divine benefits. They ignore the Word of God, which I call the “Manufacturer’s manual”, and expect the product (marriage) to function perfectly.  But that is impossible! The Word of God says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3). God is the foundation for any successful family life. When that foundation is faulty, no matter how righteous you may be, your home cannot stand.

    To give God “priority place” in your family begins with your personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  The presence of God comes down in your home when you are a child of God and a diligent student of the Word, who studies and practises it. That is the key to an exciting and successful family. Remember, God upholds ALL things by His Word (Hebrews 1:3). Once His Word is given its rightful place in your family, it will build a sure foundation, upon which you can build a strong family! Receive the grace to operate by the Word, in Jesus’ name.

    So, family peace depends on the place you give to God and His Word. The more of Him you have, the more peace, joy, happiness and sweetness you enjoy in your family.  Receive the grace to allow God take His rightful place as the first in your family and to practise His Word in your home, in Jesus’ Name.

    If you desire a successful family life, you must make God first and not second.  As a husband, wife, children and family member, you must make God first in everything. In other words, get committed to God, His Word, the course of His Kingdom and to His work.

    Nothing and nobody should take the place of God in your life. Not your husband, wife or even your children, because if that happens, you will be placing your priorities wrongly. I know my husband loves me so much and I hear him tell me that almost every day, but I have never wished nor secretly desired to take the place of God in his heart.  He knows I also love him, but the love of God takes number one in my life, followed by his. There are some parents, whose children are like gods to them. Your children are not gods to you but gifts from God. When I was much younger, I remembered that each time my parents prayed for us, they always referred to us as the gifts that God has given to them. At that time, I didn’t understand but now, I know better.

    Your children are simply God’s gifts to take care of. They must not occupy the place of God in your life. Let God be number one: get committed to Him, His Word and to His work. By so doing, you allow God to mould you and shape your marriage, and family to become what He has destined them to be the devil notwithstanding!

    However, the first step to take in order to give God and His Word priority place in your family and keep at it, is to give your life to God, through His Son, Jesus Christ. If you are ready to give your life to Christ and be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Maintaining purity in courtship (4)

    GOD is interested in your marriage being successful. As stated in the previous teaching, what you do with the foundation laying stage of marriage, which is courtship, determines how successful your marriage will be. Therefore, to have a successful marriage, the most important thing is to ensure that you follow God’s principles for marriage. The irony is, when we focus on His principles instead of our pleasure, we end up having a very satisfying and pleasant marriage!

    Courtship is about open and honest exploration of each other’s lives and families, leading to engagement and marriage. Courtship is about preparation for marriage and it helps you to see if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get married. There is no romantic interaction until after the commitment to marriage (wedding). This does not mean that you don’t love your spouse-to-be. The Bible says: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these (Mark 12:31). Loving him or her could mean disciplining, correcting and exhorting each other, to change. Other times, it may be to quash a selfish desire in your heart in favour of their desires. Basically, it means taking the focus off yourself and looking at what you can invest in the other person.

    In the context of courtship therefore, there are two neighbours that we should love (i.e. keep their best interests at heart). Firstly, your future spouse. Keeping his or her best interests at heart will result in saving your sexual and emotional purity for her or him, developing your character and preparing resources for a stable marriage with him or her, etc.

    Secondly, there is the future spouse of that person you are interested in. Unless you are ready for marriage, you should not have ’emotional exchanges’ with any member of the opposite sex. You should treat every friend as though they will be someone else’s spouse. Loving that spouse as a neighbour means treating this person as a brother or sister in Christ, not defrauding their emotions or their purity but investing in them without motive for selfish gain.

    Some people wonder about a relationship where there is ‘no romantic involvement before marriage’ and the possibility that a couple could get married but later discover they have no sexual or romantic feelings for each other. To clarify, however, my conviction is that you shouldn’t be romantically involved until after the commitment to marriage (wedding). Keep your romantic emotions for your husband or your wife. This is the only way to romance one partner in your lifetime.

    If you allow the romance before the commitment, then there is the possibility of several romances, with all the pain and emotional baggage that it entails. The Word of God says: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies… Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself (Ephesians 5:28 & 33). From the above passages you can see the underlined words.

    Thus the Bible says: “Love the one you married” rather than to “marry the one you love.” That is why the above verses say, “Men love your wives”. Romantic emotions should be reserved for marriage not for courtship. This is because when you get romantically involved and the courtship ends due to some things you have discovered about the other person, often times, this results in hurt. Therefore, keep all romantic emotions till after the wedding to avoid heartbreak and hurt. Have you ever wondered why some people in a relationship go mad when it ends? The Word of God says: What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh (1 Corinthians 6:16).

    Getting romantically involved is like being joined to become one flesh with who you are in courtship with. Any break in that relationship will amount to literally tearing the flesh. Be wise and don’t get emotionally involved during courtship. Let your emotions be intact. Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it are the issues that will make your marriage successful. The courtship period is quite a vulnerable one but the boundaries God has set are for the protection and preservation of your heart from hurt. It is also for the protection of your future marriage from shame that comes when the marriage bed is defiled. Take it in good faith because the commandments of God are not grievous; rather, they are meant to groom us.

    From the foregoing, you need the help of God to maintain purity in your courtship so as to enjoy the honour in marriage. This help is obtainable by accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour as you say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Maintaining purity in courtship (2)

    LAST week, I started this teaching on how to maintain purity in courtship by showing you the purpose of courtship. This week, I shall continue with that teaching.

    Some Christians begin in the Spirit and end up in the flesh. The Word of God lists all the various works of the flesh: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21).

    Some begin quite well in the Spirit, but mess up half way by engaging in the works of the flesh. All categories of uncleanness are referred to as the works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marriage rights over the other until marriage is contracted. The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Marriage is an honourable thing when the bed is undefiled. Once the bed is defiled, that marriage has lost its honour. What you do with the bed during courtship amounts to laying a foundation for what your marriage will be like when you get into it. The law of sowing and reaping still holds here. The Bible says: Whilst the earth remaineth, seed time and harvest shall not cease (Genesis 8:22). Since the earth still remains, whatever a man sows, he will reap. When the bed is defiled, the seed is sown and you can be sure that it will produce and when harvest time comes, it will manifest.

    Discuss your visions and goals together

    In other not to engage in the works of the flesh, this is the time to discuss about your visions and goals together. This is a very important point to note. Goals and plans for the future ought to be made clear to each other. Marriage is for help, not hurt. It is a decision made by you to help the other party fulfil his or her goals and vision in life, and vice versa.

    Before I married my husband, I knew the direction he wanted to take. I knew his level of love for God, his character and integrity. Ours was quite a long courtship but I have no regrets. It has really helped me in being able to understand the kind of person he is and as a result, we have enjoyed every bit of our marriage. Just a word of caution: A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. When you discover differences that border on incompatibility, it is wise to dissolve the relationship instead of being another number on the divorce list or another broken marriage amongst many.

    Check for maturity

    Since the period of courtship is a time of proving all things, it is wisdom to prove his or her maturity. In God’s concept, marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls. The Bible says: The rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22). The Word of God also says: Therefore shall a man…cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Take particular note of these words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in the above passages. Maturity is required before marriage. One need to mature spiritually, physically and emotionally and this must be addressed in courtship.

    However, maturity can be determined from two view points: age and ability to handle life situations. These two, put together, help in determining how mature an individual is. One that is mature for marriage should be able to assume responsibility for his or her actions, and take up the welfare of his or her spouse and children. If you are not mature enough to be a parent, then you are not mature enough for marriage. Adulthood is a basic requirement for success in marriage.

    When you are spiritually, emotionally and physically mature for marriage, you will be able to control various aspects of your life and also be in control of your emotions. Wild emotions or impure emotions can lead to defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. You will discover, therefore, that God’s concept of courtship is quite different from man’s concept. Everybody has a choice to makewhether to accept man’s concept or God’s. However, it should be noted that God, Who is the Sole Designer of courtship and marriage, has the correct view. This view must be accepted, if we desire to reap the full reward of honour in marriage via pure courtship.

    If you desire more counsel, ask God in prayer. However, for your prayer to be answered, you need to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If this is your desire, say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored

  • Maintaining purity in courtship

    DEAR reader, I am glad to let you know that marriage can be one of the sweetest experiences on earth and also be a bitter pill, depending on how it is handled. God designed marriage from inception to be a thrilling experience filled with joyful events, new discoveries, and the euphoria of companionship. After designing and creating the blueprint for a happy home, the Bible says: God saw it and rated it as very good (Genesis 1:31).

    But the natural man with his own rules and ideologies corrupted it and this led to the “bitter pill” experience in marriage and family. The Word of God says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). As believers in Christ Jesus, He has not left you alone to be confronted with the bitter experiences some have in marriage, through the defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. The Lord Jesus has provided guidelines in His Word that will help you triumph in every area of your life, including courtship and marriage. If you will just follow them, you will reap the blessings therein.

    The subject of marriage begins when two individuals, man and woman, decide to marry each other. That is the beginning of a real relationship, where you love that person enough to be honest about who you are, what you plan to do and be, and how you feel about them. At this point, what does God’s Word say to the believer? It says: Prove all things (2 Thessalonians 5:21).

    ‘To prove’ means to examine. Your would-be spouse needs to be proved and this is done by getting to know him/her better. You too need to be proved, in order to know if you can cope and actually be a helpmeet to the other party. This period of waiting and watching before the actual wedding is called courtship. Others call it, “going steady”. Whatever the case, this is the period where you determine if you have made the right choice or not. At such a time, you need to be very alert and not be blinded by romantic feelings, because marriage is not a fantasy, it is a reality.

    Next to love, the most important ingredients in relationships are openness and honest communication. If, as someone who is preparing for marriage, you cannot communicate with transparency and vulnerability, then you need to work on these areas! Communication is a crucial foundation to every marriage and open communication is necessary in order to understand what is truly motivating each person, especially when you have differing points of view. Courtship is a period you get more acquainted with your would-be spouse.

    Despite the fact that you are getting closer and knowing each other better, courtship period should not be equated to marriage. It is actually the foundational stage of marriage and what you do with this period determines how your marriage will turn out to be. The Word of God says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3). At this stage, you can’t move in or sleep with your would-be partner in a bid to know each other better.

    It is ungodly, unhealthy and doesn’t allow you establish a good foundation for your marriage. To maintain purity in courtship, you must know what to do during this period and this will help you to have a fulfilled one. I shall be taking some of them in these teaching and subsequent ones.

    Pray Together

    As believers in Christ, you need to take time out to pray and share God’s Word together. This is when you can ascertain your partner’s spiritual depth, spiritual maturity and genuine love for God. Pray together with this purpose in mind.

    Play games and visit friends together

    In the process of doing this, you get to know who your partner’s real friends are. This is another way of knowing who you are about marrying. The saying goes, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” and “who you will become”, if I may add (Proverbs 20:13).

    Visit family members

    It is wise you don’t rush into this step, until your conviction is strengthened and you are becoming certain of your partner. By so doing, you owe your integrity not only to God but also to your family. From the foregoing, you need the wisdom of God to be able to really discern the kind of man or woman you want to live the rest of your life with.

    To obtain wisdom, you need to accept Jesus, Who is the Wisdom of God, as your Lord and personal Saviour by saying this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God is your husband! (4)

    DEAR Reader, Since this month began, I have taught on: “How God Can Restore Your Hope,” “How You Can Give Thanks In Everything” and “Forget The Past.” As you read this week’s edition, I see God giving you a change of story in Jesus’ name! Today, I will be teaching on: Building a close relationship with God.

    I want you to know that being a widow is not the end of your life; it is only a passing phase. Don’t settle at this point, for it is not your destination. During your widowhood/widower days, you can serve the Lord unreservedly, your circumstances notwithstanding. The Word of God says: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). Serving God should be your focus, if you want to enjoy all other things life and salvation have to offer. There are many areas in which you can render service to the Lord; thus, don’t just be a bench warmer in the church.

    FEED ON THE WORD OF GOD

    God’s Word is spiritual food for you. If you eat your earthly food three times everyday, why do you think you can go without spiritual food for one whole day? It is dangerous. This is the period to get yourself more familiar with God by knowing Him and letting Him know you. You can always have a better acquaintance with God than you have now, by taking out time to study and meditate on His Word (the Bible and Christian literatures). As you get acquainted with the Word, you get more acquainted with the Lord. God’s Word says: For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come (1 Timothy 4:8).

    CONTINUE IN PRAYER

    Without prayer there is no power. For you to be able to live out your life the way God wants, you must be a prayerful individual. The Word of God says: Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day (1 Timothy 5:5). There was a widow in the Bible called Anna; she served God with prayer and fasting. The Word of God says: And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day (Luke 2:37).

    There was another widow, who kept on coming to an unjust judge until she got what she wanted because of her importunity. The Bible say: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me (Luke 18:3-5).

    After being widowed, a particular lady, who was quite advanced in age, was invited to Canaanland by a member of the church. On hearing the Word of God, she was lifted out of her depression and decided to give her life to Christ. Thereafter, she forgot the pains of being a widow and her bitterness towards God.

    After her conversion, she was encouraged to keep fellowshipping in church, rather than mourning. She soon discovered that it was possible to marry again. During one of the fellowship days, she met with Bishop Oyedepo and indicated her desire to re-marry. She also confessed her anxiety of not believing she would find a suitable born-again believer, who is her age. She was rebuked immediately, for her lack of faith and prayed for, that favour would locate her. She is now happily married to a caring believer and enjoying the honour that she didn’t enjoy in her first marriage!

    DEVELOP NEW SKILLS

    Use your time productively in developing new skills. There are opportunities for you to develop new skills without additional financial responsibilities attached. Widowhood/widower are opportunities to discover the right purpose for living and the right career path to follow. Recently, a brother who I counselled testified saying: “Thank you for your advice that has done great things in my life. I gained admission to study Architecture at Lagos State polytechnic; it was a dream come true for me. Like what you said, it has really affected my social life and has added more colour to my testimonies. Also, it is the right course of study and career path or me”.

    You cannot amount to anything in life without pursuing a purpose for living. It’s not too late; therefore, wake up and get going just like this lady shared in her testimony:

    “You inspired me with a testimony of an elderly woman abroad, who despite her age, returned to school. I don’t know what others around me heard, but I heard you admonishing me. I heard you say exactly: ‘You must be formally educated.” So, I knew it was time I woke up from my sleep. I was a disappointment to my family because I got pregnant and had two sons between 1994 & 1996 instead of studying. At that time I felt ashamed because all my mates were graduates and professionals in their fields. However, your words hit me when you said, ‘I have the mind of Christ’ and so I can do all things through Christ Jesus, Who strengthens me.’ Immediately, an unusual excitement came upon me and the following day, I left for LASU.

    I had always wanted to be a lawyer, so I went to find out if the Diploma in Law forms were available, while I waited for JAMB. They were not available; instead, a form titled Diploma in Theatre Arts, TV & Film production was on sale. I decided to take it, believing that God had not blessed me with only one talent. That was how the journey began. The programme came to a successful end last year, where I was even distinguished with two awards out of the ten available. In the course of the programme, I put in for JAMB and I am now studying for BA in English. Thanks a lot Mama, I acknowledged your insight in my project.” – D. E.

    The first step to take if you desire to spend your widowhood/widower days wisely is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you desire to do so, say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins, cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for making me a child of God. Now, I know I am born again. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God is your husband!(3)

    HELLO Reader, I count it a rare privilege to share God’s Word with you today. I began this series by showing you how God can restore your lost hope. Last week, I told you that in everything you should give thanks because according to scriptures, God is not the cause of your problem. Today, I shall be teaching on: Forgetting the past.

    Although, it may feel as though the world has come to an end, it will interest you to know that God can re-write your story. He has done it for others in the past; He will do it for you. The Word of God says: Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert (Isaiah 43:18-19). God is always in the business of doing new things. All you need to do is to forget the past, no matter how difficult it might be. Learn to forget your negative past and refuse to dress the grave. As my husband will always say, “If you don’t allow your past to be past, you will pass away with it”. That shall not be your portion in the mighty name of Jesus!’

    I want you to read the testimony below; it will help you to appreciate God more and forget completely your past and unpalatable experiences:

    Pastor Biodun Pasida has this testimony: His first wife passed on to glory in 1998 on her way back from a business trip in Dubai. Blessed with four wonderful children, he suddenly found himself ‘in the dark’. Though a shattering experience, Biodun remarked: “Right in the midst of the shock, I began to experience joy, and this made me to understand that Christianity is real. There was then a strong inspiration in my spirit not to murmur, grumble or complain. This was such a source of succour to my soul that I ended up preaching to every person who came to console me.

    At a stage, I determined never to marry again as the well being of my children was my primary concern. I was never convinced that another woman could take care of them. I love my kids so much and I did not want anything or anyone to hurt them.

    On what tape(s) or teachings that were of particular benefit to his soul during the trial, he says:

    I cannot pinpoint any book that had a definite impact on my life, but the Word of faith I heard in church never allowed me to feel down. On a particular day, Bishop David Oyedepo said, ‘The devil had a plan to kill your entire family and only one of them went. Give thanks to God, because all of them did not go; and if all of them went, you are here.’

    These are statements that to an ordinary person may not have meant anything but to someone like me, they were pregnant with meaning. I eventually met my new wife in church; her charming nature endeared her to me and we got married in November 2, 2002.

    For men and women passing through such a challenge, Pastor Pasida has this to say: “Watch your company as only faith-filled words will heal your emotions.”

    What are the things that affect your faith?

    1. What you hear: Mind what you hear. Anywhere you notice that the people there are talking negatively, leave such vicinity or turn a deaf ear to such bad news. If God says that something is good for you; believe it, say it and stand by it; don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
    2. What you read: Stuff

    your mind with only

    Positive reports and stop

    Reading negative

    materials. Don’t live

    your life by what others

    write.

    Instead, let only the Word of

    God be your guide. Fill your

    heart by the more sure Word

    of prophecy – the Bible (2

    Peter 1: 19-21).

    3.The friends you keep: Keep away from bad

    friends. An

    associate that does not lift up

    but complains and murmurs

    all the time, is a trap for you.

    The Bible says that the companion of fools

    shall be destroyed (Proverbs 13:20). You will

    not destroy your destiny in Jesus name!

    However, you need to give your life to Christ to have a new beginning. If you are ready to give your life to do so, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins, cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for making me a child of God. Now, I know I am born again. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).