The Nation Newspaper

Category: Family Forum

  • God is your husband!(2)

    DEAR Reader,You are welcome to another wonderful time in God’s presence. I believe you were mightily blessed last week. As you pay attention to God’s Word, believe God for a miracle in your life and you shall have a testimony!

    Last week, I began this teaching by looking at a topic: There is hope for you. I said in that teaching that God is not through with you yet, and we saw the testimony of that woman, whom God restored her hope, joy and happiness. You are the next person to share your own testimony. Today, I want to talk on a topic: In Everything, Give Thanks.

    The only way God can intervene in your situation is if you would be thankful to Him. Remember, God is not the cause of your problem(s). The Word of God says: In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Therefore, in every situation you find yourself, give thanks to God. By so doing, you invoke His presence and concerning God’s presence the Word of God says: Tremble, thou earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob; Which turned the rock into a standing water, the flint into a fountain of waters (Psalm 114:7). Therefore, always maintain an attitude of thanksgiving unto God for He is the one that can solve all your problems. Also, it is important for you to know that God is the reason you are still breathing.  The Bible says: Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord (Psalm 150:6). As long as you have the breath of God in you, you owe Him thanks. For you to be alive, you have every reason to praise God. The Word of God says: I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together (Psalm 34:1-3).

    No matter your condition or circumstance, ensure that you give God praise! This is because God knows your situation and when you praise Him, He steps in and makes you to walk upon your high places. Furthermore, the Word of God says: Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments (Habakkuk 3:17-19).

    Be joyful no matter the situation. Remember, the Word of God says: Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation (Isaiah 12:3). There are so many things stored up for you in the wells of salvation. However, without joy in your heart, you can’t access them. I want you to take time to read the testimony below; it will further boost your faith and hope in God.

    “I married my first wife on August 20, 1988 and the union was blessed with two children. However, on April 18, 2000, as she delivered our third child, my wife developed Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. This led to her passing on to glory. Though the news hit me like a thunderbolt, and I was shocked to the bones, the Holy Ghost inspired me to write, there and then, 10 reasons to give God thanks, even in that situation and I obeyed.

    During the home-going of my mother in 1981, the Holy Ghost dropped a verse of scripture in my mind. He spoke distinctly that fateful day saying: All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). This was the verse that kept my hope alive all through that trial. But, in spite of encouraging words from everyone, I would not say that my late wife’s departure did not hurt. At the time she passed on to glory, I felt it would not be necessary to remarry, bearing in mind that we had been married for almost twenty years. As a result, I deemed marrying another person virtually impossible. But, the more I pondered on the issue of remarriage, the more the Holy Ghost assured me that He would see me through.

    Though friends tried to introduce eligible spinsters to me, I waited strictly on the Holy Ghost until He gave me the go-ahead to propose to another sister in church. At this point in time, my emotions had been healed, and God assured me time and again that my late wife was resting in glory. By the time I finally asked for my new wife’s hand in marriage, she consented and we were gloriously married in August 31, 2002. While my children settled down in their new home, my wife and I are enjoying perpetual honeymoon. God is no doubt a restorer of years”. – Alade O.

    I see God giving you your own testimony in the name of Jesus! However, it is important to know that the restoration of your life begins when you surrender your life to Christ. This is because only Christ can restore all you have lost. You can say this prayer in faith, if you desire to do so: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins, cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for making me a child of God. Now, I know I am born again. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God is your husband!

    HELLO reader, It’s a great pleasure for me to bring you God’s Word today. All through this month, I shall be teaching on, God is Your Husband. This week, I shall be exploring the topic: There is hope for you.

    Probably, you may be wondering as a widow, “Is there still hope for me?” I am glad to let you know that there is still hope for you. God is not through with you yet. He is a God of restoration! If you are a widow, there is hope for you in Christ Jesus. The Word of God says: For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease (Job 14:7). I want you to know that God has not forgotten you, He created you in the first place and He cannot mismanage your life.

    The Word of God says: But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me (Isaiah 49:14-16). I am glad to let you know that God has not forgotten you. This month, the Lord shall remember you!

    Widowhood is a very painful experience! No one wants to think about it, let alone read an article about it. One may have felt forcefully stripped of the honour, pleasure and joy of marriage. However, God Who is a Restorer can restore any honour lost. Not only can God restore such honour, He is willing and can do so right now. However, I want you to know that no matter the torments and pain you might have experienced, God is always right! As you read the testimony below, I see God changing your situation!

    This is a testimony every widow looking forward to restoration must read: “Mrs. Remi O. Paseda, a teacher by profession, saw her first husband pass on to glory on October 9, 1993 after a brutal armed robbery attack. She got married in 1991 at St. Matthew’s Anglican Church, Ijebu Ijesha, Osun State and their union was blessed with a son. At the news of the passing away of her husband, she was thrown into a state of disarray; it was a tough bone for her to swallow. Though she was often beclouded by fear and depression, Mrs. Remi enjoyed regular inspiration from friends who stock closer than a brother. In her words, she said, “I knew I needed help which I could not give myself, so I started talking to brethren around me. Some would come to my house and we would pray, and worship God together. I also made it a point of duty never to miss church services.

    I can never forget a statement the servant of God, Bishop David Oyedepo made during one of the services. He said, ‘If you have lost anything, God is the reason you have not lost everything. He is always right. If you don’t allow your past to be past, you will pass away with it.’ These sayings really got to me and it dawned on me strongly that I had a reason to thank God. I then made it a point of duty to appreciate the Lord for what I had left. I thanked God for my son and many a time, I would list reasons why I must praise Him. Bearing in mind that my child was very young at the time, I decided not to remarry immediately. I felt I owed God an obligation to take proper care of him so that he would not feel rejected. However, I was very sure that I would remarry one day. Miraculously, God in His faithfulness granted my heart desire and I remarried in November 2, 2002.”

    This is her advice to those, who are currently passing through such trial: “You may feel like God has abandoned you, but you must realize at all times that God is God. No matter what you are facing, the more you ruminate on the truth, the faster your emotions will heal. At a stage, I would think about my late husband and smile. I decided to forget about him as I know that he has gone to be with the Lord. When you hold on to God’s Word, He always shows Himself faithful.”

    It is appropriate to mention at this point that remarriage is in line with God’s Word, if a widow so desires. This is because scripturally, every widow is permitted to remarry. However, you can only marry a born again child of God. Remember the Word of God says: The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39). I am glad to let you know that you are the next in line for a miracle. The God Who did it for that sister will surely visit you.

    I also want you to know that there is hope in the Word of God. This is because God’s Word (The Bible) is a book of hope. The Bible says: Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope (Psalm 119:49). Also, in Psalm 119:81, the Word of God says: My soul fainteth for thy salvation: but I hope in thy word. Furthermore, the Bible says in Psalm 119:114: Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. There is hope for you because you are joined to the living! Again, the Bible says: For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion (Ecclesiastes 9:4).

    God is the only source of hope and knowing Him will bring restoration to your life. Do you want to be born again so that you will have a new life altogether? If your answer is, “yes,” please say this prayer of faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me my sins, cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for making me a child of God. Now, I know I am born again. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities (3)

    DEAR reader, families that experience peace, joy, fulfilment, harmony, happiness and everybody bursting with the joy of the Holy Ghost, didn’t arrive there by accident. However, the God, Who gave it to them, is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). That same God, Who is doing it for that particular family is much more ready to do the same for you, if only you will carry out your responsibility(ies).

    The truth is: God doesn’t favour one marriage and family more than another. He is ready to give you joy, peace and happiness in your home, because He doesn’t change (Malachi 3:6) as long as you fulfil your own part of the marriage covenant.

    In this segment, I will be focusing on the responsibility of the woman. God has given the woman the responsibility to be a wife, mother and a comforter.

     

    A Wife

    As a wife, a woman has the power of influence, while her husband has the power of authority. A wife must be a positive influence. Her responsibility, as far as God is concerned is that of submission. She willingly allows herself to be ruled by her husband by obeying him in love (Ephesians 5:22-24).

    The wife is to see to the general welfare of the home, planning and managing resources provided by the man (Titus 2:5). You are the homemaker, not your house-help. You are to see to the welfare of every member of your household. This is the wife’s primary assignment before her outside career or business.

     

    A Mother

    As a mother, it is your responsibility to mother and train your children spiritually and physically, bringing them up to become arrows in the hands of God. A wise man once said that the greatest factory where the most important product in the world is being made is the family.

    A mother’s role in the life of a child is a non-transferrable responsibility. Mothers, don’t push your children to another person to train for you. Whatever means God gives to you, use it to bring up your children. Remember, you are answerable to God. Prepare your children for life ahead; that is your covenant responsibility.

    One reason God brought about the marital union of the man and the woman was to bring forth godly seeds. If we must have godly seeds, then we must have godly mothers. I always tell people that thieves have mothers, but they did not do a good job of caring for their children at the right time. I read an inscription once that says, “It is better to train a child than to repair an adult!” Children are like fresh fish; you can bend them any way. But adults are like dry fish, any attempt to bend them will break them.

    After God created the woman, He rested. He was so satisfied after creating her that He ended His work. He was so convinced that He had put a seal of perfection on all His creation, after she was made. Your presence as a woman, therefore, whether as a mother, a mother to be or a mother-in-law, should bring rest to the people around you.

     

    Comfort

    Comfort is a major characteristic every mother must possess. Even God, in His Word, reveals this when He says: As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you (Isaiah 66:13). A mother’s soothing touch and presence are meant to bring comfort, encouragement, relief, joy, rest, help and love to her family.

    In some families today, you can’t find rest: the mother in the family is the chief perpetrator of discord. She is always nagging! You are supposed to be a comfort to your husband and children. After the death of Sarah, the Bible says:  And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death (Genesis 24:67).

    Mother, you are meant to be a peacemaker. The Bible talks about a “mother-in-Israel,” who saved a city by her wisdom and brought peace to the land (2 Samuel 20:19).  You, too, can bring peace, rest and comfort to your family, place of work and community.

    However, the grace to accept your God-given responsibility can only be given, when you surrender your life to Christ.  This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Re: Six reasons you should say no

    PENULTIMATE week’s article,  Six Reasons You Should Say No,  turned up quite a number of responses, and some of them were very, very interesting. Enjoy them.

     

    Good morning . . . you wrote today: “Ladies, when next a man you are not married to asks to sleep with you, politely decline”. . . Dear, the ship don sail teytey, teytey!! … The world has evolved seamlessly, & irredeemably unto mutual lusts for your ‘advice’ (it aint one!) to cut the ice … & that line of yours is pegged on totally false premises: that men are solely the ones demanding sex! … Jeez! Dear, you paint girls as passive, like victims! UNTRUE! Their craving for sex outside wedlock is far more maniacal; … single guys aint the ones pestering with sundry alarm alerts like, “dear, I’m so horny, where are you?”

    Olawale Babawale 08035238685

     

    Response

    It is so sad, but true sir. However, if a few can be saved, all efforts expended would be worth it. But we must have hope. Thanks.

     

    In this new world of online sex: badoo (girls exposing their privates for call credit!) face book, and sundry dating sites, of strip clubs, of drugs, it is all forlorn. We should not flog a dead horse, please … The girls you are concerned about don’t even read at all!… Early marriage is a great solution.

    Olawale Babawale. 080352386858

    Response.

    Sad, but true.

     

    Please I need a lady that will make me happy. 08107997761

     

    Response

    I am so sorry I can’t do anything about that sir, take care.

     

    Dear Jane. Based on your 04/07/15 write-up in Saturday Nation, does it mean that deflowered girls can’t make good wives? Kingsley 08060505350

     

    Response

    I am not saying that. Only that sex blinds your eyes to the truth of a lady’s character, and makes it easy to manipulate you.

     

    Okay, honestly I would like to marry a virgin. I will feel cheated if I marry a deflowered girl. How will the man that deflowered her match/rate her present husband? That I’m marrying a second-hand girl, or what? I’m tired of girls. Many of them are not worthy of a man paying their bride price. Its high time men stopped paying bride price on deflowered ladies. Once you are deflowered, the lady should be offered free to a willing husband to manage/marry.

    Kingsley 08060505350

     

    Response

    Virginity is a good thing. But all women started as virgins before life happened to them. My submission is you being like the person you want to marry because we attract people like ourselves. Thanks.

     

    Okay, but virgins are very rare now. If you don’t make love to a lady you are dating, she takes for granted. Ans she might go out to have it with another man. Thanks. Kingsley 08060505350

     

    Response

    May I ask if you are a virgin? What happens to all the other women? Someone deflowered them. Think about it.

     

    By the grace of God I am. Kingsley

     

    Response

    Congratulations.

     

    I suggest that you write on morality/the essence of virginity among females. Once they control themselves, males will be forced to remain so; they will respect them and marry them quickly. Read Exodus 22:16-17, Matthew 5:31-33 and 1 Corinthians 6; 15-20.

    Kingsley 08060505350

     

    Response.

    Thanks, noted.

     

    Don’t you think the 6 reasons girls should say no you wrote about yesterday should also apply to men. Or have you not seen men who women beguile into thinking that since they are hard to get, then they will make good wives, only to regret and die early? 08063812854

     

    Response

    I agree with you, but you see in choosing a spouse, you need wisdom and discernment, in addition to staying off sex, watch, research the character, and if I may say so, pray.

     

    Good evening Jane, how are you today? Thanks for your highly inspirational article- 6 Reasons to say no. Please can you forward it to my email?

    Samuel Ezema. 08035024172.

     

    Response

    Hello Samuel. Thanks for your response. Please find attached.

     

    God bless you. I am highly elated. Please keep sending me your sweet articles.

    Samuel Ezema. 08035024172

     

    Response

    God bless you

     

    Just read your article in The Nation newspaper, God bless you.

    Alero Juliet Frank, Bayelsa. 07088762878

     

    Response

    Thanks and God bless.

     

    Thanks for your healthy approach to Ladies matters. I pray that God will touch our girls to understand that their virginity is their ultimate dignity. It is angelic and highly beneficial to remain a virgin until marriage.

    George Nwovu, Ebonyi. 09094741137.

     

    Response

    I totally agree with you sir, thanks.

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities (2)

    DEAR Reader, God’s Word concerning your family life is reaching out to you again, so your family life can be a thing of joy, pleasure and high esteem, as it was instituted to be from the very beginning (Genesis 2:22).

    However, to enjoy fulfilment in the marriage covenant, co-operation between the husband and the wife is a major requirement. Wherever the man does not co-operate with the woman or the woman does not co-operate with the man, fulfilment remains a dream that can never be realized. This week, we will go ahead to see another responsibility of the man in a marriage covenant.

    A French Proverb says, “A father is a banker provided by nature.” You are responsible for the needs of your home. Meeting the needs of the home is the responsibility of the man, primarily; the woman is only your help meet. Never shift your responsibility; it is anti-covenant.

    Some men do rejoice at the fact that they are the head of the home, forgetting the responsibilities attached to that office. It is not enough to rejoice at the great authority that God has vested on man, but to live up to the responsibilities attached to it. Therefore, men, put your hands to work so as to perform your God-assigned responsibility.

    As a father and husband, you have the responsibility of providing for the home. It must be accepted joyfully, and executed excitedly. Be concerned about your wife and children’s welfare. Some men leave home, not concerned whether their family members have eaten or not. This is a violation of covenant obligations and it’s very risky. No man has any right to wear new clothes, when his family members are going about in rags. You should set aside some amount of money from whatever you earn, to cater for the personal needs of your wife and children.

    Some men shy away from their responsibilities and don’t give their wives home-keeping allowance, under the guise that their wives are working. This is not right and it is not of God. The Scripture says: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8).

    When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever. No matter how much tithe and offering he gives, God says he has denied the faith and will suffer the same fate as an unbeliever.

    Therefore, a man without a job is not ready for family life at all. The first requirement, which is having a gainful job, has not been fulfilled. Adam didn’t just have a job; he was pursuing his God-given assignment and purpose. He was gainful employment.

    A man, who is too slothful to find a gainful employment should not eat; rather, he should go out and put his hands to work in order to cater for his wife and children. It is not a part of God’s programme for a wife to take on the responsibility, as the breadwinner of the home. Such a situation is abnormal; the hand of the devil is involved. This normally results in the wife hiding money from the husband, because she is afraid he would squander it and at the same time refuse to take care of her because he is unemployed.

    It is unfortunate that some cultures encourage idleness, by permitting family members, relations and even friends to live off others without having a job or source of income. They do this in the pretext that there are no available jobs or I just want to put up with my uncle till a good job comes up. Where there seems not to be any available work or job, create one. But by all means refuse idleness. God’s Word says: Whatsoever thy hand FINDETH to do, do it with all thy might… (Ecclesiastes 9:10). Look at the word FINDETH. It is your responsibility to locate something that can yield profit, not your uncle or your father, but your own responsibility.

    Anyone who chooses to be idle need not bother about food, whether male or female. God’s Word says: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: If a man will not WORK, he shall not EAT (2 Thessalonians 3:10 NIV). ‘Rule’ here means ‘command’. Therefore, to work is a commandment. There is just ‘no food for the idle man.’ God’s Word does not permit it. Right from the time God blessed Adam with a wife, he has been the head of the family. This, also, placed upon him the responsibility of providing for his household. That means, by God’s arrangement, the husband is to provide for the family. He is to work and ensure that there is food for members of his family, most especially his immediate family (wife and children). Therefore, the man must work with his hands; he can’t afford to be lazy, idle or beg.

    Are you born again? I give you the opportunity today to surrender your life to Him. This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities

    DEAR Reader, if your family life turns out to be successful, you’ve played a part in its success, even though God is the ultimate builder (Hebrews 3:4). If your family life is not successful, God is not to be blame, because He always keeps His side of the covenant. Before your family can be built successfully, there are certain responsibilities that you must accept and fulfill.  By the special grace of God, all through this month, I will be examining the responsibilities of the man and his wife in a marriage covenant. This week, I will start with one of the responsibilities of the man.

    The Love Responsibility

    God gave man the responsibility to love his wife and his family members. Wherever love is present, it can be seen, read, heard and felt. You can’t hide love. The question now is: how well do you love your wife? Wherever love is absent, there can’t be effective leadership. However, anyone who draws people to himself, is touched by their feelings and shows concern for them, would always be an effective leader.

    Love and control are two sides of the same coin. If you want to be in control of your home, you need to use the weapon of love. Ask yourself, “Do I really love my wife and family?” Remember, where there is love, selfishness does not exist!

    As a man, God has given you the responsibility to love your wife, just as Jesus loves the church; that is the standard. Jesus loved the church when it had no comeliness. The Bible says, while we were yet sinners, Christ laid down His life for us His Church (I John 3:16). A man that loves his wife, therefore, does not wait for his wife to be perfect before he loves her. Rather, he is unconditionally steadfast in the demonstration of his love for her and for his entire family.  Whenever your wife is going wrong, call her back to order with love. In the world they say, “Love is blind,” but that is not true because God is love and God is not blind. Love has the clearest eyesight; it sees danger afar off and warns it’s loved ones.

    Love thinketh no evil… (1 Corinthians 13:5). If your wife could see the thoughts that you’re thinking towards her, would you be ashamed? Therefore, always resist any evil thought concerning your wife or other family members, in the mighty name of Jesus.

    Also ensure that you express your love verbally. If you can’t tell your wife you love her, who else do you want to tell? I hear it from my husband continually and it creates in me both the ability to submit and a reassurance to make our family a delight always.

    A man who loves his wife speaks good and godly words to her and the children. When he calls his wife a virtuous woman, she longs to live up to that title. As he refers to his children as being gifted and intelligent, they work hard not to disappoint his expectations. He disciplines them when necessary, with a heart full of love and compassion. He interacts (plays) with them, communicates with them, asks them relevant questions, allows them to ask him questions and answers them. He is a good listener and always there for his family when they need him.

    Husband, if you really love your wife, you will treat her just as you treat yourself. Wherever love is, there will be nothing like beating or boxing. If you love your wife, you will correct in love not with brutality. It’s sad to discover that some men literally involve themselves in real boxing matches in the corner of their room in a bid to correct their wives. If you keep beating your wife, you are not walking in the terms of the covenant and it is punishable by God. How can you say, “I love you” to your wife in a moment and then the next, slap her? Remember, action always speaks louder than words. The Bible says: No man ever yet hateth himself, but rather cherishes it and nourishes it even as Christ does to the Church (Ephesians 5:25).

    If you see a man beating himself on the street, won’t you say that he’s going insane? In the same way, it is spiritual insanity for a man to look at his wife in the face and then slap or beat her. That is an abuse of the privilege of being the head and leader of your family. Don’t be a taskmaster or a lion causing everybody to hide behind the chairs and under the tables as soon as they hear your voice from afar. You don’t have to scare members of your family just to prove that you have them under control (1 John 4:18).

    A pinch of salt looks so little but when it is absent in any soup, it is very obvious. Similarly, no matter how great every other thing looks in a family, when love is missing, it will be glaring to the whole world.

    These are the things that make a family sweet. There is no secret anywhere; obedience to these divine instructions will give you enviable results in your family life. If you desire the grace of God upon your life to be able to carry out your God-given responsibilities as a man, there is need for you to surrender your life to Christ. You surrender by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The foundation of marriage (4)

    DEAR reader, I welcome you to the last edition of the series of teachings for this month. I want you to know that it is not just reading alone that guarantees your desired result. It is taking practical steps based on what you have read so far that can guarantee your success. Today, we shall be looking at another vital topic, which will really pave way for your marriage titled, God’s Instruments for Formation.

    1.  The Word of God

    How does God form your marriage before it can become a reality? It is by His Word! Not just by prayer, but by His Word! This is because when you pray contrary to the Word of God, He doesn’t hear you.

    Some people will say, “Oh! Just pray for me, just put your hand on my head so that my marriage can be successful.” There is nothing wrong with that, but it has to be done in accordance with God’s Word! If you do not pay attention to the Word of God that has been gathered by His breath to form you, no matter the intensity of prayer offered on your behalf it will not yield the desired result. Until you allow yourself to be formed by the breath of the Almighty God which is His Word, you can never become what He destined you to be.  It is my prayer that after reading this article and you apply the Word of God, your marriage, family and life will become what God has destined it to be in the name of Jesus Christ!

    When God is forming you and I by His Word, it doesn’t have to be convenient.  I wish the clay can talk in the hands of the potter when he is forming and reforming it. But the clay keeps enduring, even when it is not convenient. Why? This is because a better tomorrow lies ahead.

    The clay must subject itself to the formation of the potter if it must become a centre of attraction tomorrow. God wants to turn your marriage and family to a centre of attraction. But before that will happen, you must be ready to subject yourself to the formation of the Almighty God, Who initiated marriage, by His Word.

    2. Dwell According to Knowledge

    The major reason for crises in marriages today is because husband and wife do not fully understand their God-given responsibilities in a marriage set-up. A person cannot do that which he does not know. If a person does not know his duties in a marriage, he cannot fulfil his obligations. The Word of God says: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered ( 1 Peter 3:7).

    The main emphasis here is the phrase, “Dwell with them according to knowledge.” The word “dwell” is translated from the Greek word, “Sunoikeo”, which is used to denote domestic association. This association is to be done according to knowledge. For any marriage to experience any degree of success, knowledge of the nature and duties of every member of the family are inevitable.

    What, then, is knowledge?

    The Oxford dictionary defines knowledge as awareness or familiarity gained by experience of a person. Dictionary.com defines it as, “The state or fact of knowing; familiarity, awareness, or understanding gained through experience or study; specific information about something.”

    When the Bible, therefore, enjoins us to dwell according to knowledge, it means there are certain facts that one must lay hold on in order to enjoy success in marriage. There are lots of family crises when we have little or no knowledge of our duties in fulfilling God’s ultimate purpose for the family. That is why the Bible says: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children (Hosea 4:6).

    Husband and wife have certain God-given responsibilities to fulfill in their family, in order for success to abound therein.  My husband has often shared one of the secrets of our family success, which is the acquisition of knowledge. By reason of what he saw of the marriage institution in his early days, he began seeking to know from God, His true purpose for the institution of marriage. It was in that state that God showed him the seven concepts of marriage, which we have practiced conscientiously in our family, causing us to enjoy a great deal of success. It took knowledge for us to know our individual placement in the family network, and that knowledge has set us free from every family crises.

    To enjoy family success, therefore, the place of knowledge cannot be over emphasized. The Word of God enumerated the benefits of knowledge; it says: By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures (Proverbs 24:3-4 (NIV). If you must find rooms (families), which are filled with rare and beautiful treasures of peace, love, joy, satisfaction, sunshine, fulfilment, etc, then knowledge is the key. It takes knowledge to enjoy family success.

    The prescription to dwell according to knowledge within the family network has its source in God.  The Bible says in Proverbs 2:6: For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. The Scriptures often use the words wisdom, knowledge and understanding interchangeably. But they are occasionally spoken of as separate and distinct. Knowledge is the facts, understanding is the ability to lift the meaning out of the facts, and wisdom is knowing what next to do.

    It is important for us to understand that as husband and wife, you are meant to live together as lovers, and friends. But there is no way that can happen, except you are knowledgeable about each other. Wife, when you get to know what your husband doesn’t like, you will save yourself from a lot of unnecessary prayer and fasting.  All you need is to apply wisdom and do away with the things he doesn’t like. You must learn to stick together as one, so that your marriage can become what God has destined for it to be.

    For you to be knowledgeable about your spouse, first and foremost, you need to know God, the One who is knowledgeable about everything. Do you want to be born again? Why not say this prayer in faith and you shall be born again! “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The foundation of marriage (2)

    DEAR Reader, last week, I taught on the subject: ‘Give God a chance to form your marriage.’ We looked at the origin of the formation of man. It doesn’t matter what your situation looks like, if only you will subject yourself to the formation of God, there is no limit to how far God will take your marriage. Today, I shall be showing you how you can subject yourself to the formation of God.

    Make God first in your marriage

    If you want God to form your marriage, you must make Him first in your marriage, not second. As husband, wife, children or family members, make God first in everything. Get committed to the cause of the Kingdom of God. Be committed to God, His Word and His work. Let Him be your utmost desire for life always.

    In whatever assembly you find yourself, take the work of God as your only purpose for living. When it is time to do one thing or the other, rise up to the task; don’t wait to be called. When it is time to serve God with your intellect, energy, money, possession or position, do not hesitate to do so. Otherwise, you will one day serve the devil with them because nature abhors vacuum. Whatever is within your power to see to the promotion of God’s work, do it wholeheartedly.

    Nothing and nobody should take the place of God in your life. Not your husband, wife or even your children, because if that happens, you will be placing your priorities wrongly. I know my husband loves me so much and he tells me almost every day, but I have never wished or secretly desired to take the place of God in his heart.  He knows I also love him, but he knows that the love of God takes the first place in my life. There are some parents whose children are like gods to them. Your children are not gods to you but gifts from God to you. Each time my parents prayed when I was much younger, they always referred to us as the gifts that God has given to them. That time, I didn’t understand but now, I understand better.

    Your children are simply God’s gift to take care of. They must not occupy the place of God in your life. Let God be first, get committed to Him, His Word, His Work and by so doing, you are allowing Him to mould you, shape your marriage and family. You will definitely become what God has destined you to be, the devil notwithstanding!

    We have several examples in the Bible of those who had unshakeable commitment to God. We are told in Genesis 12:1-5 about Abraham and Sarah.  Abraham was sold out to God in his days. For instance, when God told him to get out of his country and leave his kindred at the age of 75, he never doubted God.  Abraham had every excuse but he never changed his mind, because his heartbeat was after God and he kept following Him. Sarah was also steadfast in her commitment to God. When Abraham left at the age of 75, she followed him, though she had every reason not to accompany her husband to where God had commanded him to go.

    Abraham, at 75, left an unknown place and his wife was ‘stupid’ enough to follow him. This is an eternal lesson for every woman. If you are reading this article and you are married, follow your husband to wherever he is, so that it won’t be too late for you. A word is enough for the wise. Sarah followed.

    I love the scripture in Genesis 18. The Bible tells us that after it has ceased to be with Sarah, after the manner of women, God visited her. Why won’t God visit her? She was sold out to her husband’s dedication to the Kingdom of God.

    Maybe you are like Sarah right now and you have been wondering, “When will I get my blessing?” If after it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women, God still visited her, you don’t have any problem. Sarah was 90, Abraham was over 100, and God still visited them, because they were sold out to His Kingdom. Get sold out to the Kingdom of God and He will visit you. Man may have told you, “It’s getting too late,” but it is never late with God. The Word of God says: Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women (Genesis 18:11). And verse 14 says: Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son (Genesis 18:14). Even when Sarah’s conception was an impossible case medically, they remained committed to God and He assured them that it was not impossible with Him. When you get sold out and committed to the Kingdom of God, nothing will be too hard for God to do for you. If you have been looking up to God for the fruit of the womb, keep serving Him! Get committed to God, His work, His Word, and God Who visited Sarah will also visit you in the name of Jesus!

    Also, we were told in scriptures about a man, Zacharias and his wife Elizabeth who were sold out to God. The Bible says: And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless (Luke 1:6). They both walked blameless in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord. In other words, they were committed to the Word of God.  They were blameless and yet, they needed the fruit of the womb. Zacharias never got discouraged; he kept attending to the work of God and in the process, God visited him. The great man, John the Baptist was born to that family. What is that desire in your family? Put God first and as you do that, God will visit you in the name of Jesus Christ! God visited Zacharias and Elizabeth and took away their reproach. The same way, God will take away that reproach in your family, in the name of Jesus Christ!

    You want to be born again? Why not say this short prayer of faith and you shall be born again! “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

  • The foundation of marriage (2)

    Dear reader, you are welcome to another very interesting time in God’s presence. Last week, I began this teaching by examining the foundation of the family unit which is marriage. Without marriage, there cannot be a family and until your marriage is formed into the mould that you desire, your family cannot be formed. We saw in that teaching that God Himself was practically involved in the institution of the first marriage and He made it a mysterious incident, not an accident or a mistake. Today, I shall be teaching on what I titled, Give God a chance.

    It is important for us to first examine the origin of the creation of man. The Bible says: And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7).  I want you to note the word ‘formed’.  The Lord God Himself formed man out of the dust of the earth. I’m sure you are aware that all over the world, dust is one of the worthless things that you will ever find. Even when you walk around and dust gets on your shoes, you clean it off. It is as common and undesirable as that. But God took that common and invaluable thing called dust and out of it, the Bible says, He formed man.

    You wouldn’t treat anything you consider a treasure the same way you treat the ground you step on without care or concern. But of the nothingness of the ground, the Bible says, God took of the dust and formed man. It doesn’t matter what your situation looks like, if only you will subject yourself to God, there is no limit to how far He will take your marriage.

    After God formed man, the Bible tells us that He breathed into his nostrils and man became a living soul. Like the potter takes clay and with his hands, moulds it into the shape that he or she desires, so also God desires to mould you if you allow Him. Out of the seemingly ordinary clay comes something beautiful, full of attraction, enviable, presentable and sought after. Likewise, if you allow God to form your life, marriage, family or home, you will become what God has destined for you to be in life.

    Before man became a living soul, God had to first form him. Until you allow God to form your marriage, it cannot become what God has destined for it to be. Even though marriage is an incident and a mystery as explained in the last edition, you must allow God to form it for you. You must be ready to allow your life and marriage to be subjected to God’s moulding. However, many Christians, run away from God’s moulding and keep looking for shortcuts, and a way of escape when it comes to marriage and the family. If you won’t give God access to your home, then, you cannot enjoy God’s glorification.

    It is important for you to know that fulfilment in marriage is not magical; it comes by allowing the Word of God to shape your life. Until you allow your marriage to be shaped by God, you will discover that you will never have an original family. Rather, you will keep comparing your family with others, until you discover that you don’t really have what you desire. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:12: …But they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. You just have to work at it before it can work for you. If others are enjoying a life of mystery in marriage, then, you can enjoy it too. But instead of you wishing for it, secretly and openly, you need to discover the way to it.

    You can ask yourself these questions: How do I do it? How do I arrive at it? How do I get the result I desire in my marriage? Ask questions and when you discover what a particular person is doing to enjoy a life of mystery in marriage, you also allow God to form you.  It doesn’t happen by chance. Fulfilment in marriage is work and you must allow the Word of God to shape your life, so you can become what God has destined for you to be!

    ‘Giving God a chance to form your marriage’ means you first of all give Him a chance to form your life. You are formed by God when you surrender your life to the Lord Jesus Christ so that your marriage can be formed to become what God has destined for it. If you desire to, you can say this prayer in faith and you will be born again. “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The foundation of marriage

    DEAR reader, It is a great joy to share God’s Word with you once more on this column. It is my earnest prayer that as you take heed to the Word of God coming your way this month, your life will never remain the same again in Jesus’ name!

    When God made man, He made him in His class, having the same creative abilities as Him. Just as when God wanted heaven and earth, He created them; likewise, He has given us power to create and form whatever we desire to see in our lives, marriage inclusive. That is why this month, I shall be teaching on: The Foundation of Marriage.

    The foundation of anything determines its ultimate end. A good understanding of the foundation upon which the family system is built, will constitute the raw materials upon which your family will be built. As it is in the natural, if you consider the foundation of any building as unimportant, no matter how beautiful that building looks, in no time, it will crumble. No wonder the Bible says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm11:3)

    In the beginning, God saw the state of Adam in the garden and He decided to do something about it by providing a help meet for him. God’s Word says: And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. … And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:18-24). That became the origin of the marriage institution. From that first marriage grew the family as they began to reproduce after their own kind, as God commanded them in Genesis 1:28. That is why till date, for you to have a family, there must first be a marriage. Therefore, until your marriage is formed into the mould that you desire it to be, your family cannot be formed.

    Let us now examine some of the characteristics of marriage to help us understand God’s original purpose for the family.

    Marriage is an incident not an accident:

    Marriage is not an accident but an incident that God, the Almighty Himself, had to specially prepare for and bring into existence by being practically involved in its institution.  There is a world of difference between an accident and an incident. A servant of God while giving an illustration once said, whenever an accident happens in the natural, people gather. Among those who are gathered are sympathizers and ordinary onlookers who haven’t come to render any help, but who just came to find out what actually happened. That is why to so many people, Christians inclusive, who see marriage as an accident, they will always have to gather a crowd to settle quarrels. They will always have to gather a crowd to tell them how to behave, sympathize with them and boost their longing for self-pity. They will even gather a crowd who are not even beckoned to, but who will come on their own accord because of the terrible situation that they are experiencing. But for you and I as believers in Jesus Christ, whether married or single, it is very crucial for us to know from the Word of God that marriage is not an accident but an incident that God Almighty specially prepared for.

    Marriage is a mystery not a mistake:

    It is also very important for you to know that marriage is a mystery and not a mistake. The Word of God speaking about it says: This is a great mystery (Ephesians 5:32). Marriage is a mystery and every mystery is designed to give mastery in life’s endeavour. A mystery is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as a religious truth that is incomprehensible to reason and knowable only through divine revelation. You are meant to live a life that is beyond the imagination of the world, a mysterious life that even the devil can neither understand nor predict. God’s wish for you is to live a life of mastery.

    Marriage is a life of mystery where you are able to overcome every obstacle of the enemy and enjoy God’s best for your life. If you are married and reading this, I congratulate you because God has brought you into a life of mastery. If you are single, Ephesians 5:32 tells us that marriage is a mystery designed to make you a master, not a mistake. It is an institution designed to make life better for you, not worse. I pray that everyone reading this article today will enjoy the mystery that is in marriage in the name of Jesus Christ.

    If God had to specially prepare for marriage, then what about you and I? We can’t pretend as if it is not important to us.  If God says, it matters to Him, then you must take the right step that will help you enjoy it. This begins with accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you are ready, then say this simple prayer with faith in your heart: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).