Category: Hearts

  • Flora forever (2)

    By this time, the rain had reduced to a slight drizzle and it was nearly sunset. We couldn’t sit in the car all day talking so I started the engine and drove to an eatery not too far away from my home at Ikeja. I ordered for a drink while Flora, who said she was hungry asked for some food.

    “You are sure your head is ok? You are not feeling any pain?” I enquired glancing at her head which was covered in a headscarf.

    “I’m fine. Stop worrying,” she said looking up at the waiter who had brought the food.

    I watched her closely as she ate. She looked up then, saw me looking at her and smiled.

    “Want some?” she asked, offering me a piece of chicken.

    I shook my head.

    “I’m ok. I ate at my friend’s place,” I told her.

    “Is she a girlfriend?” she enquired. “I see you are not married,” she added, glancing at my left hand.

    “You are right. I’m still single. But she’s just a friend,” I stated. That was not the whole truth but more about that later…

    “Anyway,” I began. “We are not here to talk about my love life. You were supposed to tell me about your husband,” I pointed out.

    The animated look on her face disappeared then and she sat, staring gloomily into her plate.

    Seeing the sad look on her face and fearing she might start crying again, I said softly:

    “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. I’ll understand.”

    “No. I’m fine,” she stated, looking calmly at me.

    Then after taking a sip of water, she began to speak. And this was her story:

    She was in her second year at the university when her father died. Her mother had passed away some years earlier during childbirth. The baby, Patricia had lived and the bereaved family had tried to raise the little motherless child as best it could. “My dad really tried. He refused to remarry though there were opportunities for him to do so. He said he didn’t want another woman to come and spoil the love and unity in the family. You see, we were a very close-knit family, my siblings- four of us- and our dad. I have an older brother Michael who lives abroad, though we don’t know if he’s still alive as we’ve not heard from him for some years now.”

    She said after her dad died, things became tough for the family. “Michael and I were at Uni then,” she explained. “Though my elder sister, Janet had left school, she had not started working as she was planning to go for her Masters degree. With our dad’s death, everything was affected- our education, lifestyle and other things. My dad worked as a senior manager in a big manufacturing company and though we were not swimming in money, we were at least comfortable. We had inherited some money from him but that ran out in no time. When things became really tough, we had to seek help from relatives. None was willing to help except for an aunt, one of my mother’s sisters. She had a successful business and was doing quite well.

    “She agreed to pay my school fees and that of Michael who was by then in his third year. She kept to her promise and helped with our education. Among her various businesses was a restaurant. During the holidays, due to my aunty’s promptings, I began helping out there. If I had known, I should have stayed away from that place because of what happened later.”

    At this point, she stopped speaking and took a drink of water.

    “Do you want anything else? Let me order for some soft drinks…” I stated but she shook her head.

    “I’m ok,” she said and began to speak once more.

    The restaurant, she stated was a fairly large one and quite popular. “It was always filled with customers, especially male ones who often came in expensive-looking cars which they parked across the road in an undeveloped plot of land. Initially, I thought they came just for the food which was quite good. It was later I discovered it was for something else. A lot of girls worked at the place and most times, some just hung around doing nothing. They would be in one of the rooms in the building, chatting, fixing their make-up or doing their hair. Whenever I told my aunty how they were lazing around doing nothing, she would tell me to ignore them and face my duties.

    “I helped with the accounts as my aunt said I was good with figures. Then one night, I had to help out serving the customers as we were short of waitresses. That opened my eyes to the other aspect of the business. After their meals, some of the male customers would leave with a girl or even two and they would not return. I observed this most nights and I began to have my suspicions which were confirmed by one of the girls who worked in the kitchen. “They take the girls out to sleep with them after paying Madam. It has been going on for years,” she whispered to me.

    In other words, my aunt was running a prostitution ring, using the restaurant as a front! I was shocked because I had always seen her as a decent person who would never be involved in something so shoddy. But you could never tell with people. Later, she tried to involve me in her evil deeds. After serving them, some of the customers would ask for me, saying: “Where is that fine girl? Call her for me!”

    “They made all kinds of offers- lots of money, trips abroad, any car of my choice. But I wasn’t interested and I made it clear to them. When it came to my aunty’s notice that I was rejecting her customers, she was not happy. She accused me of being stubborn and trying to ruin her business. “Mind you, it’s from this business that I pay your school fees and that of your siblings. So, you better cooperate or you will have to look for another sponsor,” she threatened me. I still refused the men’s advances. But something happened one day to change all that. There was this man who was really persistent. Larry was his name and he was a regular customer who came nearly everyday. The more he pestered me, the more I turned him down.

    Then one day, I heard he gave a very large sum of money to my aunt so he could have me. My aunt told me I either complied or she would no longer have anything to do with our education. I was more concerned about my brother who was already in his final year then. What if he was forced to drop out of school due to lack of sponsorship at that stage in his education? It would be my fault. I could never forgive myself for that. So, because of my aunty’s threats and maybe my age then- I was just 18- I succumbed. I began to date Larry and to be fair to him, he treated me well at the beginning. He was a rich businessman and was unmarried. Larry became responsible for my education and upkeep. The only condition was that I was not to date any other person as long as we were together as he loved me too much to share me with any other man.

    About six months later, I found out I was pregnant and when I told Larry, he said we should get married. I was against it as I was still in school and I felt my education would be disrupted if I had a baby. But he assured me that I could always return to school after the baby was born. My aunt and even my sister Janet said the same thing. “School will always be there but good men like Larry are hard to find,” they told me. I took their advice and married Larry. I had my daughter Ivy soon after that. And before I could think of returning to school, I was pregnant again with my second child.

    I had to put my education on hold so I could take care of my children. Besides, by this time, I was having problems in my marriage. Larry, to my shock changed from the loving, caring man I dated. He began to drink heavily, often came home late and would beat me without provocation. I tried to reason with him but it was no use. There was a night he beat me so hard, I became unconscious and it was the neighbours who had to take me to the hospital. When I recovered and returned home, I found another woman in the house.

    Larry threw me out, stating he had married someone else who would give him sons as I had only female children in my womb! I had to move in with my sister with my children. He took everything away including the car he bought for me, though we had been together for eight years. That was six months ago. He doesn’t even care about the children’s welfare or their education. That morning of the accident, I had gone to see him at home concerning Princess, my first daughter’s school fees as she attends an expensive private school. He chased me out, saying he didn’t have money to train ‘those brats’ as he called his own kids. I was really upset. I just walked along the road not really seeing where I was going, thinking about my life and how badly things had turned out for me when you hit me.”

    She stopped speaking then and just sat staring glumly down at the table. I felt really sorry for her after listening to her tale. ‘What kind of man would do this to a beautiful lady like this, his own wife?’ I thought as I gazed at her.

    “It’s really sad that such things happened to you at such a young age,” I told her softly, reaching across the table to take her hand in mine.

    She looked up then and shrugged.

    “That’s life. Full of ups and downs,” she noted. “My main concern now are my children. I’ve been looking for a job so I can earn some money to take care of them. But it’s been tough as they always ask for qualifications and I didn’t finish school.”

    I thought about what she said.

    “If it’s a job you want, I have something in mind. Can you…?”

     

    To be continued

    What did Bari say to Flora concerning her job search? Details next Saturday!

     

    Send comments to 08023201831(sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com

  • How to create romantic feelings in a woman

    To seduce a woman, you must take her into another world, a special world where only the two of you exist, a romantic world, a poetic world.

    Sometimes this happens automatically with a woman: if you’ve ever fallen in love, you remember what it’s like to feel like you are the only two people who’ve ever existed. You probably also remembered that, in that state, she really wanted sex. A lot.

    If you haven’t ever felt that, don’t despair – by following these simple guidelines, you can learn to create those special feelings. It’s your responsibility, if you want to get laid. So how do you do it?

    * Keep on the lookout for romantic ideas or situations.

    You can train your mind to always be looking for ways that little romantic moments can be created.

    The other day a friend of ours was at a Chinese restaurant, and got the fortune, “Take the next opportunity you see – it will be wonderful” in his fortune cookie. Seeing an attractive woman sitting alone, he wrote his name and phone number on the back of the fortune, and as he left stopped at her table and said, “You look lonely here… perhaps this fortune will cheer you up. By the way, I think you look beautiful.” She smiled and accepted the fortune and he smiled and left. Two days later she called him and they now have a date planned.

    This effortless introduction worked because it created a small, special moment in her otherwise busy, stressful day. He was appreciating her. He was doing something romantic.

    You can tell if an idea is romantic by asking yourself, “Would a woman look back on it as incredibly special?” Our friend knew that the fortune cookie was a tale a woman would gladly tell about how she met her boyfriend. So it was romantic, made her feel special, and it worked.

    * Look like you put thought into it.

    Women feel special, just like anybody does, if they think someone has done some preparation just for them. Cooking a meal, wrapping a little present, or hand-making a card for her will all make her feel like you are sitting around thinking of ways to delight her.

    The key here is to do things that give the appearance that you are thinking of her. When you do things to make her feel special and appreciated it will increase her desire to put out for you.

    * Do something special and “out of the ordinary.”

    Don’t take a woman to the same place you’d go with buddies if you want sex. Take her someplace out of the ordinary. A river- front cafe in a nearby small town, a walk in the woods where you’ve previously and secretly stashed a bottle of champagne, two glasses and a blanket you can “discover” together are all examples of “out of the ordinary” events. Even art films (if she likes that kind of thing) or museums can be out-of-the-ordinary events. You can be an “out of the ordinary” man if you know some love poetry by heart. That will make her feel very special.

    * Focus on the details.

    Women want the “little things,” so you should make sure every little thing is right when you are seducing a woman. This means flowers, new candles just lit for the first time, clean linens, the works. Everything is clean, nothing is sloppy. Romance is in the details, and you must have them right in order to succeed.

    Just as a businessman is always looking for new situations that can make money, a “man’s man” is always looking for new situations that can create romantic feelings. If you take on this practice you’ll make her feel special, and you will get sex.

    Source: sosuave.com

  • Experiencing true love in your life

    Is true love a once in a lifetime experience? Not really. You can experience them many times over, and with many people at the same time. You can experience true love with your spouse or your lover, your children and any other person you’re attached to in your life. But true love too, can fade with time. For most of us, our first love is the first time we would have experienced the purest form of true love. We aren’t afraid to let this special someone into our heart and we aren’t afraid to experience heartbreak because we still don’t know what heartbreak feels like. We’re fearless in love and we love passionately with all our heart. [Read: But when the first romance dies, the true love we had for our first partner too eventually fades, even if it takes years and several new relationships to overcome. And as we enter more relationships, most of us split into two groups. One that believes in true romantic love and the other group that convinces itself that true love doesn’t exist. The kind of relationships you’ve had in your lifetime can play a big part in your understanding of, and expectations from, true love.And if you’re wondering whether true love and romantic love are the same, it really isn’t, even though we almost always associate true love with romantic love. True love is love in its purest form, while romantic love needs sexual attraction to stay alive.

    True love can’t be forced

    True love has to be experienced naturally and wholeheartedly. You can’t fake true love no matter how hard you try. If a couple fails to pass the test of compatibility in their infatuation stage, it’s pretty hard for both of them to ever experience true love.On the other hand, if both partners can understand each other and relate to each other, they’ll start to love each other’s company and start to become inseparable. And eventually, this bond will turn into a pure and selfless love that we call true love.

     

  • My girl is three years older; she wants marriage when I’m not yet ready

    I’m in a relationship with a lady who is three years my senior and a graduate while I am an apprentice; I’m 27 years by age. I love her so much I call her Obioma, (my happiness). Right now we are having problems because she wants to get married by next year while I am thinking of getting married in 3 years’ time. What do you think I should do to keep this lady because I don’t want to lose her. Please help. – Tony from Owerri.

     

    Dear Tony, I understand the reasons you may not want to marry now and I understand why she wants it today if possible. She’s at that age when relatives, friends and all those who are close to her would expect that she should be settled in marriage. After all, she’s through with university education and she’s ripe for marriage at 30. As for you, you’re still learning a vocation and may not be financially ready for the demands of marriage. If you’re a man of dignity, you will think twice before depending of your wife for sustenance.  Both of you are at a crossroad. Since you love her so much and wouldn’t want to lose her, you may meet midway. Asking her to wait for the next three years will be too much but if she has a job and really desirous of marriage now she can loan you some money for a low key marriage. Go and pay her dowry if that will make her happy. However, she might want more than just her dowry being paid. She might want to move in as your wife and become properly married. That is where you may have problems if you don’t have a house of your own. If she can also loan you some tidy amount for a small apartment, you may go ahead and marry properly. Mind you, make it clear from the beginning that if you demand any assistance for her now, it is because you don’t want to lose her. She shouldn’t try to become a boss over you and she should take you as you are. Let her know that you wouldn’t want her to complain if you’re not able to act as a man until you finish your vocation. Preach to her the virtues of patience in such a situation. If however she cannot provide for the things she’s asking you to do now, let her know you love her, but you cannot give what you don’t have.

  • Ladies run away from me because of my big penis

    I’m James; please ma there is this problem that I’m facing concerning sex partner. Whenever I had a friendship with a girl of my mate it doesn’t last because if I’m to have sex with her she complains of my dick that is too big for to handle it. Please help me to hook up with any lady or woman you know that she is seeking for my type co’z my female mates are running from me because of my big penis. You can reach me on 07088……. From Kaduna State.

     

    Dear James, I want to believe that at God’s own time, you will meet the woman who will accept you for whom you are and how God created you. It is for my character to link people up based their natural endowments or lack of it. Be patient, your own woman with the right size will come. Don’t be promiscuous till then. AIDS is real.

  • Ladies run away from me because of my big penis

    I’m James; please ma there is this problem that I’m facing concerning sex partner. Whenever I had a friendship with a girl of my mate it doesn’t last because if I’m to have sex with her she complains of my dick that is too big for to handle it. Please help me to hook up with any lady or woman you know that she is seeking for my type co’z my female mates are running from me because of my big penis. You can reach me on 07088……. From Kaduna State.

     Dear James, I want to believe that at God’s own time, you will meet the woman who will accept you for whom you are and how God created you. It is for my character to link people up based their natural endowments or lack of it. Be patient, your own woman with the right size will come. Don’t be promiscuous till then. AIDS is real.

  • My girl is three years older; she wants marriage when I’m not yet ready

    I’m in a relationship with a lady who is three years my senior and a graduate while I am an apprentice; I’m 27 years by age. I love her so much I call her Obioma, (my happiness). Right now we are having problems because she wants to get married by next year while I am thinking of getting married in 3 years’ time. What do you think I should do to keep this lady because I don’t want to lose her. Please help. – Tony from Owerri.

    Dear Tony, I understand the reasons you may not want to marry now and I understand why she wants it today if possible. She’s at that age when relatives, friends and all those who are close to her would expect that she should be settled in marriage. After all, she’s through with university education and she’s ripe for marriage at 30. As for you, you’re still learning a vocation and may not be financially ready for the demands of marriage. If you’re a man of dignity, you will think twice before depending of your wife for sustenance.  Both of you are at a crossroad. Since you love her so much and wouldn’t want to lose her, you may meet midway. Asking her to wait for the next three years will be too much but if she has a job and really desirous of marriage now she can loan you some money for a low key marriage. Go and pay her dowry if that will make her happy. However, she might want more than just her dowry being paid. She might want to move in as your wife and become properly married. That is where you may have problems if you don’t have a house of your own. If she can also loan you some tidy amount for a small apartment, you may go ahead and marry properly. Mind you, make it clear from the beginning that if you demand any assistance for her now, it is because you don’t want to lose her. She shouldn’t try to become a boss over you and she should take you as you are. Let her know that you wouldn’t want her to complain if you’re not able to act as a man until you finish your vocation. Preach to her the virtues of patience in such a situation. If however she cannot provide for the things she’s asking you to do now, let her know you love her, but you cannot give what you don’t have.

  • Ladies don’t feel secure when they are with me; what could be the problem?

    Sister Adeola good morning, my name is Damilola my problem is that I noticed ladies do not feel secure when they are with me, please what could be the problem.

     

    Dear Damillola, if you follow the tips below, they may help you solve your problem:

    •Be yourself and act natural. No one likes a fake, so just be yourself. People will admire that you aren’t afraid of what others think. Don’t be different on purpose though; this will just make you seem weird.

    •Sincerely praise others. Don’t use flattery, but genuinely give credit where credit is due.

    •Avoid making fun of others. Avoid insulting other people unless you’re just messing around. Don’t say anything hurtful. Be really careful with this. The longer you’ve known a person, the more you can mess around with him or her.

    •Make fun of yourself. You know yourself better than pretty much anyone else, so it’s easiest to make jokes about you. Everyone likes someone who’s humble.

    •Confidence is important. Try sticking to your principles and don’t say the opposite a few moments later. That just makes you look like you are desperately trying to find something smart to say (Think about what you are going to say).

    •Think about what you are going to say before saying it. Consider what people’s reactions will probably be, and decide if what you are about to say is worth being spoken.

    •Minimize others’ mistakes Do not correct other people, unless their mistake will end up making things worse for them or someone else. Also, downplay it if others point it out.

    •Be inclusive. Don’t use an inside joke unless everyone present knows it. Also, don’t refer to something about which a person in the conversation doesn’t know without explaining it to him or her.

    •Be bold! Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself! Being open is important in making people relax.[[Image:Free Silly Sisters Making Faces Creative.

    •Have GOOD hygiene.

    •Remember the types of things the people who you are around like, then you can talk about things you all like, and everyone will be laughing with you and smiling soon!

  • My cousin has crush on a guy and she doesn’t know how to let him know

    Hi, I have a cousin who is 18 and has crush on a guy. She needs me to advise her on how to get this guy and how to know if the guy has a crush on her. She’s 18 too.

    Hi. Are you sure you’re not the same person acting as your cousin? Whatever the case, be careful when making it known to a guy that you like him. Most guys, rather than take it as a compliment that a woman finds them attractive, laugh with friend behind her back and take it that she’s free or cheap. If you’re both 18, and the guy is around that age, it may not be productive giving such a young guy the come-on lights. Older guys are able to handle flirting and ‘toasting’ well. Since you asked for it, I will give you a few tips to show a guy you like him but be warned that you can’t flirt with someone unless they’re flirting back with you:

    1 Smile happily while talking to him or waving out to him. And giggle now and then coyly at his jokes.

    2 Stare deeply like you want him while talking to him. And glance at him now and then when he’s not close, but look away when he looks at you. It’s all about making him curious.

    3 Whisper in his ear like you have a secret to tell him when both of you are alone in a crowded place. Just make sure your lips accidentally touch his ears.

    4 Lean on him with an excuse while talking to him by adjusting your heel, or losing your balance, or while walking through a crowd.

    5 Flick your hair to the other side slowly with one hand while talking to him. Guys are suckers for this move.

    6 Act cute when you talk to him. Keep your finger on your lip while thinking, or blush now and then.

    7 Compliment him and speak highly about anything he does. He’ll love spending time with you. And make sure you ask for his help now and then, he’ll feel more manly around you.

  • My cousin has crush on a guy and she doesn’t know how to let him know

    Hi, I have a cousin who is 18 and has crush on a guy. She needs me to advise her on how to get this guy and how to know if the guy has a crush on her. She’s 18 too.

     

    Hi. Are you sure you’re not the same person acting as your cousin? Whatever the case, be careful when making it known to a guy that you like him. Most guys, rather than take it as a compliment that a woman finds them attractive, laugh with friend behind her back and take it that she’s free or cheap. If you’re both 18, and the guy is around that age, it may not be productive giving such a young guy the come-on lights. Older guys are able to handle flirting and ‘toasting’ well. Since you asked for it, I will give you a few tips to show a guy you like him but be warned that you can’t flirt with someone unless they’re flirting back with you:

    1 Smile happily while talking to him or waving out to him. And giggle now and then coyly at his jokes.

    2 Stare deeply like you want him while talking to him. And glance at him now and then when he’s not close, but look away when he looks at you. It’s all about making him curious.

    3 Whisper in his ear like you have a secret to tell him when both of you are alone in a crowded place. Just make sure your lips accidentally touch his ears.

    4 Lean on him with an excuse while talking to him by adjusting your heel, or losing your balance, or while walking through a crowd.

    5 Flick your hair to the other side slowly with one hand while talking to him. Guys are suckers for this move.

    6 Act cute when you talk to him. Keep your finger on your lip while thinking, or blush now and then.

    7 Compliment him and speak highly about anything he does. He’ll love spending time with you. And make sure you ask for his help now and then, he’ll feel more manly around you.