Category: Hearts

Good morning, I am Isabel. I don’t know how to start it; I have a problem of sleeping with guys after I got hurt by my first guy. I have lost several guys as a result. I want you to advise me please.

 

I don’t seem to understand why guys are so selfish that they walk out

the door the moment a woman refuses to remove her panties. You are normal and you’re just being careful, so don’t despair if they keep leaving you just because you’re not playing games. The one that will

stay will stay and understand where you’re coming from. You have been hurt and it is natural for you to be suspicious of the intentions of the men you meet. The ones who do not understand that are free to get out of your life. Your true friends will stay and offer their hands of comfort until you begin to trust again. Wait for that special person, he will soon walk in and stay by you – sex or not.

I’m responding to the numerous questions I have been receiving on how to identify or even define true love. True love, ironically, can’t be defined. It’s the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it’s too late. So what is true love really? True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that isn’t bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge. This is human behavior, because these traits are engrained within us. But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a special someone

When does one experience true love?

True love takes time to bloom. What you experience in the first year or so of a relationship is infatuation and sexual attraction. As the bursts of infatuation start to fade with the first few arguments and the first few misunderstandings, that’s when love starts to enter the picture. And this is where most couples start to drift away emotionally, or even end up breaking up because of incompatibilities.If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love each other, chances are, you’re experiencing true love already.

Secret signs of a bad relationship

When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then. But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time. Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds. Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse.

Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in. If you’re looking for signs of a bad relationship, focus on these 7 signs to begin with. After all, even the biggest of relationship problems have to start with these little secret signs. Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

1 Eye rolling:  Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.

But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

2 Dominance:  Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner

3 Loss of respect: Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are.

4 Speaking ill of each other: Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?

5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions: Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner. If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you.

6 Taking each other for granted: This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying.

7 Silence: Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day. But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.

You could write these ‘love token messages’ on a postcard and adorn a wall with your statements of love for Valentines day or an anniversary … the only cost is your time … save the cash for a romantic dinner for two… or for flowers or a gift.

If you want to theme your messages use read or pink coloured card or their favourite colours…

Or print photos onto the cards, have the cards shaped as hearts or simple flower shapes, or leave them in a trail of stepping stones dotted with messages or use footprint shaped messages …the trail could lead to a candlelit dinner for two to a romantic gift …

 

A List of Romantic Words …

remember romance is – different things to different people so try to think of words that are appropriate.

Love.

Beautiful.

Sweet.

Kind.

Gentle.

Dear.

Sweetheart.

Special.

Beloved.

Treasured.

Wonderful.

Thoughtful.

 

A Love Quote…

‘Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.’

Quote Henri Frederic Amiel.

‘Grow old along with me the best is yet to be.’ Quote by ~ Robert Browning.

‘The heart that loves is always young.’ a Greek proverb.

 

Write a message today … that will become a word memory…

•remember … before the days of text and mobiles people sometimes had to write letters or even love letters to each other… some of us who were miles apart from a person we loved. and now have them tied up with ribbon ( the letters not the person we love).

When from time to time we read the letters; we remember and if we are really lucky we have never forgotten or been forgotten. Maybe that is romantic… so say it, write it , post it, send it.

three small words …

If all else fails in your search for the right words –

remember that said with sincerity three small words can be the most romantic of any…

and you already know them.

 

Different ways of saying the same thing …

Help in writing Something Romantic …

A list of sentence starters – put them with the words of your choice or pick from the list below.

Make sure the words you add to the sentence make sense and that they relate to the person you are saying them too – and please only say them if you mean them -I love you because

You are special to me because

No one could be as special to me as you are because

I like it when you say

Being with you makes me happy because

You have the most beautiful smile.

Words list.

darling, my love, dearest, sweetheart, beloved, beautiful, special.

How to say something romantic?

How to say find the right words to let some one know you love them.

How to write something romantic.

Ideas and inspiration on how to write or say something romantic.

On Valentine’s day, a birthday or a special anniversary you want to say something special to say how much you care. But every time you think of something to say …. it sounds wrong.

The right words will be the words that mean something special to the person you are saying/sending them to, the words that will touch their heart and make them think how lucky they are to have someone like you to care.

You do not need many words to tell someone that you care they just need to be the right words for that person.

 

Lost for the right words?

The right words at the right time… but that is not always easy.

You want to say something romantic… but you are not sure…

 

Do not make it too complicated…

Try not to make your words more complicated than they need be… two lines or two or three words can be enough said at the right time, spoken in the right way or written down to be treasured.

In the past Valentine cards were sent anonymously …

I suppose it was thought of as more romantic.

But why go to all that effort and risk someone else taking the credit?

At least leave a hint of who wrote and sent it.

 

Present your words in an attractive way..the message can be simple but mean what you say..

here are some ideas for you to use or adapt to suit your romantic message…

•Find a piece of poetry that will mean something about your relationship and to you both.

•Write down a few lines from songs that you both love – you will know the sort of songs I mean.

•You could write them down and say why they mean so much to you.

•Or patch together lines of poetry, songs, quotes, write them on the card at angles to each other so that the lines are diagonally and just keep adding to them until you have an arrangement of words that you like.

 

Still lost for words…

•Just write a list of words – the things you love about this person, or type and print it if you hate your handwriting.

•Cut up the list and stick it into the card or on a piece of paper … before you start to add the words in the centre of the card write these are the things that I love about you…

If you are artistic decorate the paper, or print your favourite photographs on it or pick a very special card or a piece of handmade paper… you can buy some handmade papers with petals pressed into the paper.

 

Like hungry beasts in the jungle, they are on the loose looking for unsuspecting victims to devour. They are the conmen in our midst, or what we refer as yahoo yahoo guys (and women too as there are some females in the ‘business’). I don’t know about you but in the past couple of months, I have been inundated with fake phone calls, emails, text messages and others which bear the signature of these dupes. How do I know they are from them? Well, it’s easy to spot with a little bit of scrutiny and vigilance.

The mails ‘emanate’ from all sources- banks, government agencies, blue chip companies, international organizations like the WHO and its affiliates. Even the Presidency is not spared. I recently got a mail from a supposed ‘P.A’ to the President on International Affairs who claimed he had a large sum of money (about 50 million dollars) that needed to be remitted abroad. He wanted my assistance in making the transaction, promising me a large cut of the deal. Most of the other letters are in likewise manner.

How those foreign victims of these conmen fell to their tricks in the past beats me. For it must take a complete fool (or mugu in yahoo yahoo language) or a very greedy person to want to be involved in that kind of deal. The victims wanted to make quick bucks, by reaping where they did not sow. In the end, their greed got them, with many left with their life’s savings and other personal possessions cleaned out.

Among other things, the yahoo yahoo ‘business’ is one of the most evil things we have exported to the world that has all but destroyed our reputation in the comity of nations. Wherever we go outside the country, we are looked on with suspicion as if we are up to no good. For those who travel abroad, you must understand what it means to carry the green passport- it’s like having a bold sign with the word ‘criminal’ carved on your forehead. It doesn’t matter who you are- be it a top government official, an honest businessman or professional or a general in the military- it’s the same attitude. It’s that bad.

Now, like Frankenstein’s monster, these conmen have turned on their ‘master’. With the economic recession in Europe and other countries in the West that used to be their former ‘hunting ground’ biting hard, their foreign mugus no longer have the resources to be conned. They have have now turned their greedy eyes on their fellow countrymen like you and I to practise their nefarious activities on.

So, be vigilant especially with the Yuletide season round the corner. Immediately delete any suspicious-looking mail particularly those from banks asking for your account number, pin number and other personal details. No bank would ask for your PIN especially by mail.

These fake mails are easy to spot as most are badly written with poor grammar like a letter written by a Primary 6 pupil still learning the rudiments of the English language.

As for those sending me these fake mails, you better stop as you can never get me that easily. For I’m one of those who believe that whatever I achieve in life is through hard work (with some luck thrown in) and not through doing fast deals. As the saying goes; easy come, easy goes. You make quick money, it slips through your fingers faster than lightning! If in doubt, ask any ex-conmen some of who now beg to eat, having squandered their ill-gotten loot on fast cars, fast women and fast living!