The Nation Newspaper

Category: Hearts

  • He is 40 and I am 23

    Aunty Adeola, I really need your help, about my boyfriend who is 40 and I am 23. He claimed he loves me but never took me to his house, nor did I know any of his family. We usually meet in a hotel.  I am confused because he said he will be coming to see my parents. My fear is that I don’t know if he is married or has children that he doesn’t want me to know because he always tells me he is single anytime I confront him. Should I let him come and see my parents? I am confused. – Blessing.

    Dear poor Blessing, this man has been catching his fun at your expense and he must be having a good laugh behind your back. You don’t seem to be wise about the antics of men. Even men that give you the keys to their apartments have other girlfriends who come to do short-time when you’re away at school or work. Some even have wives and children in other towns, so they have the freedom to do anything with you if you’re not wise enough. And here, we’re talking about a man who takes you to a hotel to sleep with you! No dating, no romance, it’s just pure sex. A man who hass the intention to marry you will sleep with you if he can’t wait, but you won’t have to ask before he begins to introduce you to his friends and then family members. He gets you to speak with them on phone and arranges for you to meet them at family events etc.

    So, this man is telling you he will eventually meet your family. Lies! No man needs waste time to meet the family of a girl he loves and he doesn’t need to take her to hotels before he proves his love. Get out of this relationship as fast as your legs can get you. I have said my own. You may seek other people’s opinions.

  • Is it true that if a girl is not deflowered on time, it will be difficult for her to give birth?

    I’m a girl, I am 22. Is it true if a girl is not ‘disvirgined’ on time, it will be difficult for her to give birth?

    What has the time of losing virginity got to do with either pregnancy or labour? Nothing! Whoever told you that came to you with one of those lies from hell to make you give up your virginity for free. Tell them you’re ready to wait until you get to that bridge before crossing it.

    You’re already an adult, so all your reproductive organs are mature and ready to carry a healthy baby to full term and except you have a medical condition, you should be able to go to a labour room and come out with a baby in your arms.

    If what they mean is your virginal wall not opening enough, it is also a lie. By the time you are married, you’d be having regular sex and you won’t be a virgin again by the time you get pregnant anyway. So your vagina would ready to accommodate a baby’s size. Don’t forget that the vagina is elastic anyway, so there’s no need to worry. Keep your virginity for the right person and laugh those liars to scorn.

  • My Aries girlfriend is not satisfied with my being self-employed

    My Aries girlfriend is not satisfied with my being self-employed because I’m not always meeting her financial needs

    I’m Sept. 25th, she is April, 6th and we had had a pious (no kiss, hugs and sex)    relationship for 7 years now and my intention is marriage. I love her dearly and a minute with her renews my humanity, however, I perceive she loves me less and is not satisfied with my being self employed in pursuit of my passion and not always meeting her financial needs on time. On my part, her posture drove me into a relationship that has produced a child of 2 years old which I have not told her about for fear of the unknown even though she got wind of it through a whistleblower. Please forecast the future of this relationship. Orya.

     

    I’m a Libran and I know that restlessness in us to do the things we love doing even when we have to suffer for a while before our feet get strong on the grounds we have chosen. You have a passion for whatever you’re doing now – let no one kill your dreams.  Financial needs my foot! You need financial help yourself. So let her get a job or a business that will take care of her needs until you’re able to. Pronto.

    Your child is a big part of you. The child came during the uncertain period between you two, so don’t be afraid to let her know. You can’t hide the existence of your child forever because you fear the reactions of an unstable person. Tell her and if she wants to stay after getting over the shock the revelation is bound to bring, good for her, if not, good luck to her wherever she wants to go.

    I’m not a psychic t know what the future is like between you two, but I’m publishing a normal Libra male and Aries female astrological compatibility:

    Libra and Aries

    Aries and Libra are directly opposite one another in the Zodiac — 180 degrees apart. Each Sign possesses qualities that the other lacks; combined with Libra’s natural yen for harmony, this can be a relationship that enjoys great balance. Aries is the Sign of Self while Libra is the Sign of Partnership, and the differences continue: Aries is impulsive, excitable and ready to jump right into something new and exciting, while Libra is indecisive, peace-loving and prefers a calm, smooth approach. Aries can learn from Libra that their own way isn’t necessarily the best way.

    These two Signs share the great sexual attraction common to all Signs opposite in polarity. At the same time, though this pair’s connection is amazing when it’s good, it can be extremely challenging when it’s bad. All polarities have energies that tend to tangle or knot if understandings can’t be reached. As a combination, Aries and Libra are well-balanced. Charming, cultured Libra can teach brash Aries something about style. Libra prizes harmony in a relationship and will go to great lengths to maintain it. Aries is very decisive and can teach indecisive Libra about relying on intuition for answers.

    Aries is a Fire Sign and Libra is an Air Sign. Working together can be challenging at times.  However, both Signs have wide-ranging interests, and at the end of a long, active day, Aries can come home full of interesting stories to tell the more cerebral Libra!

    Aries and Libra are both Cardinal Signs. They both have a lot of initiative — but lack in follow-through. They both tend to start things they’re never going to finish, whether it’s a job, a project, a relationship … Aries will appear to be the leader because of their energy and forceful nature, but Libra leads from an intellectual standpoint. Both Signs want to be in charge, but Aries uses force and sometimes intimidation to get what they want while Libra uses charm and sometimes manipulation. Compromise is essential to this relationship’s health. Diplomatic Libra has a much easier time with compromise than does Aries, who strongly dislikes yielding to another person, viewing it as submission. Libra may have to give in more often to Aries’s wishes in order to keep the peace that they so cherish.

  • I’m 26 and in love with a 27-year-old girl

    Hi wise lady Adeola, I am in love with a girl, she is 27 and I’m 26. She has a child which she told me about. She is a virtous woman l always see her in my dream playing without sex. She said that age is the problem. I want to marry her after our NYSC and my parents love her so much. Please help me because I don’t want to miss her.

    Hi. If I had a crown to give to people with heads of wisdom, you would have taken one now. How many Nigerians guys your age would be thinking of marrying a gilr who lready has a child? Most may want to date her and leave her for some married men to take as a mistress or a second wife. But here you are, younger than her and ready take her the way she is. This is wisdom. This is love. I doff my hat for you.

    If she were my younger sister, I would ‘koboko’ her for being concerned about something as mundane as age when she should be happy that she has found real love and there are no family members from your end to disturb her about the child.

    Sit her down and let her know that you don’t see the one-year age difference as any big deal. Let her know that true happiness does not recognize age difference, tribe, language or color. Show her child enough love too and before long, she will be the one proving more love. Don’t mind her, she’s just being self-conscious and trying to hide that behind a little shakara so that it would be on record that you didn’t get her easily despite the fact that she already has a child. The shakara will soon fade away to reveal a beautiful love life for both of you.

  • The only son(1)

    I’m at a crossroads in my life, caught between the proverbial ‘devil and the deep blue sea’. It’s a choice I have to make as quickly as possible as there’s so much at stake.

    The journey to this critical point in my life began over a decade ago. It was when Kari, my bestie, (best friend) and I first met at the University. We were both freshers then, having just resumed for the new academic session. I was on the staircase of my department after one of my classes late one morning when someone behind me said:

    “I like your top.”

    I turned to see a girl of about my age. She was carrying several books in her right hand while a large black bag dangled from her shoulder. She smiled up at me then placing her books and

    bag on the ground, unwound the scarf she had used to tie up her braided hair. I looked at her surprised as she tied the black headscarf round my hips at the same time stating:

    “And there’s a big, red stain on your skirt at the back.”

    I nearly collapsed with embarrassment on hearing that. My ‘monthly visitor’ seemed to have arrived early, messing up my skirt without my knowing. And to think that I was on my way to another lecture!

    “You are well covered now and the stain is no longer showing. You will have to go to the hostel and change though,” she noted.

    I nodded and thanked her, feeling really grateful to her for saving me from an embarrassing situation.

    “I’m Kari,” she introduced herself, a broad smile on her smooth, roundish face. I told her my name before hurrying down the stairs to make my way to my hostel to change out of my stained skirt.

    A few days later, I saw Kari again. She was in the midst of a group of girls and they were all talking and laughing. I walked up to her and thanked her again for what she did the other day.

    We stood chatting for a while. That day, she invited me to her room which was in the same hall where I lived but I told her I had to go to the library to prepare for a test.

    “You can come and see me anytime,” she stated as she left with her friends.

    After that day, Kari and I became friends. Within a short time I found out we were direct opposites personality-wise. Kari was bubbly, cheerful and outgoing while I was on the quiet side and did not like going out much. After classes, I preferred staying in my room reading or gisting with my roommates.

    Not Kari. She liked going out especially to town to shop and just, ‘look around’ as she put it. “Staying in school all the time can be boring. One needs to catch fun now,” she often said. Kari was very popular especially with guys. She was always getting invited to one party, show or the other. Most times, she would drag me along to these events, often stating, “the books won’t die if you leave them alone for some hours!”

    Kari and I grew closer as the years went by. We often quarreled and had disagreements like most friends but we always made up and continued as before. Then an incident in our final year nearly ruined our friendship for good.

    It was all because of a guy. His name was Dan and he was the son of a top politician and businessman in town. We met at a party and as soon as I set my eyes on him, I liked him instantly. Which was strange because it took me a while before I usually got to like a guy much less date him. So, that night Dan and I got chatting and from the way he was acting, I knew he liked me too. I left the party early as I had to do an assignment and he offered to drop me at school. Kari had not attended the party as she was down with malaria.

    A week later, Dan came to visit me in school and I introduced him to Kari. She had recovered by then and was her usual bubbly self, cracking jokes and making him laugh. He later left, after promising to take both of us out the following weekend.

    On the date, I noticed he spent more time chatting with Kari than me. I was a bit uneasy and I must say jealous that he was paying more attention to my friend. But I did not read any meaning into it then and just decided to enjoy the outing.

     

    Lost love

    Two weeks later, when I had not heard from Dan, I was not worried because I knew he would eventually come to see me. Then, a classmate of mine who attends classes from home, told me she had seen Kari and Dan at a shopping mall in town.

    I questioned her closely about what she saw.

    “They seemed to be shopping. It looked as if he bought a lot of stuff for her for she was carrying many shopping bags,” she disclosed. I found that difficult to believe. Why would Dan, my supposed boyfriend be shopping with my best friend, I thought. I shrugged the incident off, believing it was just a co-incidence, that they had met at the mall by chance.

    I called Dan on phone but it was an Assistant who answered, informing me that Dan had travelled out of town and would be away for sometime. You can therefore imagine my surprise when I had gone one evening to visit Kari in her room a few days later, to see him with Kari on the verandah of her room. They were standing close, talking quietly and looked really cosy together.

    “When did you come back from your trip?” I asked him when I met up with them. He shrugged and gave me a vague answer.

    Later, as I saw him off at the car park, I asked him if we could see that weekend. He shook his head, saying he would be busy. As I watched him drive off, I had this feeling that something was not quite right.

    When I called him later that week, he told me bluntly that I should stop calling him, that he was no longer interested in seeing me. I was shocked, wondering what I had done. Though we had been seeing for a short time, I really liked him a lot and I didn’t want to lose him. So, I pleaded with him to rescind his decision and remain with me. He said it was not possible as he was in love with someone else.

    “Is it Kari?” I asked bluntly. He was silent for a while before he said:

    “Yes.”

    I felt as if I had been struck by a big blow. It was bad enough losing my boyfriend; it was a double blow losing him to my best friend. The following day, I confronted Kari on the matter, calling her a boyfriend snatcher and other names. This caused a big quarrel and rift between us. For the rest of that semester, we were not on speaking terms and we went our separate ways…

     

    To be continued

    Preview of next week’s episode

     

    ****

    In all the years I had known her, I had never seen Kari look so miserable. My heart went out to her and feeling sorry for her said:

    “It’s ok. Everything will be alright.”

    “How can it be alright when he has left me!” she said in a mournful tone.

     

    Names have been changed to protect the identities of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

     

    Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

  • 7 Secrets to make your relationship last

    Every long-term relationship has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. Learn to navigate them smoothly — before they send your relationship into a ditch.

    No matter how long you’ve been together, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn’t always easy, but it is critical. Make your relationship stronger, and the good stuff — fun, sex, trust, affection — will be better than ever.

    1. Be Vocal About Things You Like: Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your partner — and more of the same certainly won’t feed the flame. Making the good stuff your top priority will. Here’s how to do it: First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one. So compliment your girlfriend on her new shoes, or your boyfriend on his new blue shirt. Thank him for helping around the house. Dial her office for a quick “thinking of you” check-in. Be sure these compliments and thank-yous are heartfelt and specific, and make eye contact when you smile.

    Once you take this approach, you’ll realize that, in addition to knowing how to push your partner’s hot buttons, you know how to push his or her joy buttons too (and we don’t just mean sex). After all, that’s how this whole thing started. It won’t be long before you appreciate that it’s always the right time for small acts of love, like sharing a long kiss before you turn in each night.

    2. Touch Each Other: Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins, for giver and receiver. So hold hands when you’re walking,

    and brush her cheek when you smooch good morning. Revive the ways you touched in the early days — a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair. Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. That’s important, because a couple who form a tight unit can weather any storm (and are better able to stave off infidelity).

    How do you build this bond? First, support your partner. Take his or her side whenever possible if trouble arises in the “outside world.”

    Keep their secrets to yourself, even when everyone at work spills theirs. Except in a true emergency, don’t let anything interrupt “us” time. That’s what voice mail and bedroom-door locks are for.

    Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over time, ensuring a closer, sexier union. And don’t forget to make time for intimacy, even if you must log it in your day planner.

    3. Stop Blaming Your Partner For Everything That’s Wrong: It’s tempting to blame your partner when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your relationship. The next step is seeing your mate as the one who must change for the relationship to improve.

    That’s a cop-out. Trying to improve your partner puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a negative light. The result? Nobody changes. Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone is unhappy. And making your partner the bad guy means ignoring the 90 percent of him or her that’s good.

    The true fix: Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your companion, magic happens. Optimism increases.

    Your partner feels better because he or she feels appreciated, not chastised. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy.

    4. Improve Your Relationship by Relaxing: The classic advice experts give to singles seeking a perfect match: Be “the one” to attract “the one.” Same goes in a long-term relationship. The happier you feel, the happier your relationship will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts. If 15 minutes of morning yoga, a switch to decaf, or a new hobby help you relax, the good feelings can’t help but lead to happier, richer moments together.

    Meanwhile, admit it: You used to fuss over your hair and obsess over the sexiest item to wear to bed. Now, it’s stained sweats and a ratty

    old T-shirt. Time to spruce up your look. Comb that mane, brush those teeth and throw on a new robe. Feeling good about the way you look makes your eyes sparkle. You’re more likely to make eye contact. That sends a spark to your partner. You know what to do next!

    5. Fight Fair: Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any relationship. What’s important is how you handle it. In a Florida study of longtime couples, joint problem-solving ability was cited as a key factor for 70 percent of satisfied pairs. With the right tools and attitude, conflict becomes a gateway to deeper intimacy — the chance to be seen and loved for who you truly are, to accept your mate’s adorable, vulnerable real self, and to build a strong union without silently seething.

    First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. They’re like gas on a fire. University of California researchers who followed 79 couples for more than a decade found that early divorcers fought long and loud and were always on the attack — or the defensive. Happy couples, on the other hand, avoid verbalizing critical thoughts, keep discussions from escalating, and don’t use absolutes like “never” and “always.”

    If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humour, empathize or show your partner extra appreciation. Too late?

    Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while.

    6. Pick the Right Time to Argue: Don’t start potentially tough talks if you’re not well rested and well fed. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Ban booze for the same reason. Save it for when you’ve achieved detente. That’s worth a toast.

    Don’t ever try to deal with serious marital issues if you’ve got one eye on something else. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. If you’re distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk.

    You can’t resolve conflicts on the fly.

    7. Learn to Listen: The single most powerful step you can take to keep a relationship solid? Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults,criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell.

    When talk turns combative, don’t interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon.

    When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft “um-hum” to show you honour the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they’re saying.

  • Me and the ‘Community Court’ at Gwarimpa ‘Police Station

    I may have my misgivings about some members of the Nigerian Police Force because of the ugly experiences some people have gone through in their hands. But generally, I like our police officers and I’m one of those who pray that we shall one day have a police force to be proud of.

    So far, I have always had a fair deal with the police in Nigeria. I understand that they want to be treated well and so, I try my best to do just that. I respect every police officer I see, so I get a high level of respect back in return.

    I have had reasons to bail many people at different police stations in Lagos and Abuja at different times and I must say that on all such occasions, I have not parted with a dime to do that. But from experience, if you want to get anybody out on bail, be prepared to go with your pillows and sleeping mat because they can waste a lot of your time in the process. And the smell and heat of most police stations would make you puke if you’re not healthy enough. What about the noise of police officers as they bark at detainees? You wouldn’t want to have anything to do with them. So naturally, I try to avoid going near our stations to help anybody out… That was until I went to Gwarimpa police station in Abuja some weeks ago to bail one of those who work with me. I have been consumed since then to not only visit police stations, but to offer voluntary service at least once in a week.

    This guy, Bashir and his pretty wife had spent the whole of Saturday with me and my family. We had work to do on Monday and needed to get some things ready on Sunday in order to be fully ready. We parted on the note that he would report at my place by noon the following day.

    Noon came and there was no word from him. I tried his telephone lines and both were switched off. I muttered under my breath that he was irresponsible. I was going to take a decision on him when my phone rang – it was his father.

    “Hajia, please help me o. Bashir has been arrested and detained since last night and I don’t have money to bail him. Could you please do something about it?” the old man pleaded on the phone.

    Bashir’s ‘accommodation’ since the previous day had been Gwarimpa Police Station. Prepared to spend long hours there as I had come to accept with police stations, I took loo rolls and enough money for food in case hunger struck. For the smell and heat, I took a hand fan and some peppermint sweets to handle queasiness.

    The first thing that I noticed on entering the station was the quiet and neatness of the environment. R-e-a-l-l-y! The next surprise was the way the officers on duty looked impeccably dressed and courteous.

    It looked like a well-run office rather than ‘usual’ image I have come to identify police stations with. I felt at home around the officers.

    When I asked to see the DPO, they told me it was a DCO they had on duty there. Okay o. I asked to see the DCO and I was ushered to this small office where the latest news I would have missed on cable TV was being aired. R-e-a-l-l-y!

    The sofas in the DCO’s office were clean and visibly not infested by bedbugs. The fan did its work of producing cool air without any noise and on top of the new fridge in the room was a pack of Vitamin C, which I asked if I could help myself with. I got it.

    The DCO of that station, DSP Olatunji Bello is as suave as any gentleman could be – soft-spoken, well dressed and ready to hear all sides of the story before taking a decision over the case before him or advising on the right steps to go.

    As there were many cases before him when we got there, so were solutions. Junior, 18 and son of an air-force officer who died in a plane crash was a guest there after he, along two of his friends were arrested for beating up men of a vigilante group who dared beating up some small boy who were arrested for wandering at 3.00am in the night. High on ‘slows’ Junior was a sight to behold as he was in another world when a high ranking officer came to bail him. Two architects, who had been friends until one of them used his friend’s company profile to get a fat contract.

     

     

     

  • Ways to make him feel loved…

    1. Flirt: Give him a kiss in the kitchen or garden or even in an elevator, flirt while making tea, or in the supermarket, show him you are still attracted to him, and make him feel special. He’ll really appreciate it, and flirting will make you feel hot, too!

    2. Compliments: Compliment him on things you love about him. Tell him you love his lasagne, his ears or his gorgeous smile. Tell him that when he chases the kids he looks gorgeous. Whatever it is that you like, tell him. He’ll feel great, and you will too.

    3. Feed His Ego: Grab his hand next time someone checks him out, and act a little possessive and jealous. Tell him he got checked out, and you are showing your ownership. He’ll feel so flattered and loved…

    4. Appreciate Him: Take something he usually does, and do it for him, just once. Does he hoover, or put the children to bed? Just take one thing, do it for him, and let him relax while you do it. Then tell him how much you appreciate him helping you, there’s a lot of men that don’t, you know! I might even wash up for my boyfriend tonight…

    5. Boast: Did he re-do the bathroom, or take you to a nice restaurant for a romantic date? Boast about the great things he does to your

    friends while he can hear. He’ll be very flattered, and feel really appreciated. It’ll also encourage him to do it again, so you benefit

    too!

    6. Tell him: Tell him. You’d be surprised how many women forget to say those simple words to him. Tell him directly or find a creative way to

    let him know. Tell him he is an amazing father, a great cook, a brilliant husband. Tell him he looks hot, or that you miss him, and that you can’t wait to see him after work. It’ll mean more than you can ever imagine.

    7. Buy Him Something: Grab his favourite chocolate bar on the way home from work, plan a little in advance and make his favourite meal, buy him his teams shirt, or just a beer. Buy him something that shows that you know him, and what he likes. It doesn’t need to be big, he’ll be flattered anyway.

    8. Have Confidence: Be who you are, and have confidence in yourself.

    Men can’t love women they don’t respect, so be who you are, love yourself and make him respect and admire you. Ever wondered what makes Posh and Becks a power couple? Their confidence and respect for each other!

     

  • My widow girlfriend likes money too much

    Dear Aunty, I have a matured working class widow with 2 children. I started the relationship with her recently but she likes money too much; she is too demanding. What do I do? She knows I’m building and it is capital intensive. Agreed, that does not stop me from caring but her salary is more than enough to sustain her. – A.U.

    Dear A.U, it is typical of women to demand money from a guy who doesn’t look like he’s going to marry them. I don’t know what’s running through your girlfriend’s heart, but if you’re married and you’re just keeping her for the fun of it, she may want to get all she could get from you while it lasts. Consciously or unconsciously, she is in competition with your wife and she knows that madam gets money from you, so why shouldn’t she get too? After all, she gives all the ‘benefits’ you derive from your wife and maybe even more.

    She will keep demanding money from you if she feels insecure in this relationship until you sit her down and have a very honest discussion with her about her life and those of her children. She’s a widow with vivid memories of the recent past with another man – good or bad memories or both. She needs a man who will love her and reassure her about the future. The emotions she’s feeling may be a lot more than the money she’s demanding for, so handle her with care. Once she’s sure of where she stands with you, it is either she begins to support you by not giving you hassles or she starts asking for more. That will depend on whether marriage is in the horizon or not.

  • There are three other guys in my girl’s life but I love her so much

    Ma I need your help in this – I love this girl and we have known each other for two years but I just found out that there are three other guys that she is having something to do with because I saw the text messages they sent to her and the ones she sent to them too. Also, she wants me to provide whatever she needs and if I don’t she gets angry with me. I don’t know what to do now. I love her so much but I want to forget her but I can’t because we live on the same street. Please help me; what should I do? I still love her.

    I’m not saying you should stop loving this girl if she’s dating other guys and you’re very sure, but I’m saying let her be until you’re sure it’s going to be a healthy relationship. If she’s sleeping with these other guys, indirectly, you’re also sleeping with them. There are as many risks of having multiple sex partners as there are increasing old and new diseases to give you concerns. It is dangerous to continue this relationship and if you must continue with her, it important to take safety precautions such as condom use and regular medical testing, to avoid the following risks: pubic lice, urinary tract infections, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes and the baba of them all, HIV. HIV is the incurable virus that causes AIDS. It attacks the body’s immune system, eventually causing the body to become unable to protect itself against infection and cancer. Death is the end results, and is usually due to an infection which the body was unable to fight off. You’ve been warned!