Anyone who meets Otunba Olusegun Runsewe, Director-General, National Council for Arts and Culture, NCAC, for the first time is quick to say he is a core disciplinarian. Critics, in their analyses of Runsewe’s persona, often maintain that he is blunt when dealing with issues of personal conviction.
Beyond the foregoing descriptions of him, he may also be described as an activist of a sort.
For some time, the former DG of the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation, NTDC, has been mouthing the need to keep the heritage of the African culture.
Among other preoccupations, he is leading the struggles to instil the core African cultures and values in African children.
At different fora, he had “sermonised” and even called on parents to show the right paths to their children and wards so as not to fall into the bottomless pit of moral bankruptcy.
In particular, Runsewe has not hidden his disgust for the lifestyle of popular crossdresser, Okuneye Idris Olarenwaju, also known as Bobrisky, whom he describes as a bad influence on the Nigerian youth.
As proof of his sincerity of purpose, Runsewe tethered the rampaging bull in 29-year-old Okuneye when news broke that he was planning to set up the African chapter of Gay and LGBT on the occasion of his birthday in 2019.
commenting on the weird lifestyle of Okuneye, Runsewe, who was hailed by many across the country for putting Okuneye in check then, said: “He started by selling and using bleaching creams. Now, he has grown boobs, bums and hips.
“If he is doing well with his immoral lifestyle, how do you convince Nigerian youths to do the right thing? Bobrisky has the right, but not within the Nigerian environment.
“If he wants to continue with that way of life, then he should leave Nigeria. Our culture does not allow such personality in our society.
“Just like in Nigeria where notorious homosexuals and crossdressers have been arrested and released, the jail sentence passed on Cameroonian homosexual promoter vindicates the relentless campaign of the need to rid Nigeria of the presence of homosexuals such as Bobrisky and his likes.”
Interestingly, Runsewe’s voice has refused to be drowned in the cacophony of noise by Okuneye’s followers, as some notable Nigerians have also begun to call him out.
Ngozikachi Onyeulo is an entrepreneur who has empowered wiggers, hair stylists and young administrators. The Chief Executive Officer, Kachi Beauty World, in this interview with Atanda Sheriff, recalls her humble beginning, challenges and journey to success.
What inspired you to go into business?
Years before I got into hair fashion business, I had tried other businesses such as; selling jewelries, shoes, cloths and more. But my hairstyles were what most people admired about me. Questions about where I buy my hair extensions became much and it inspired me to give it a try as a business. My inspiration came from being very adventurous with my hairstyles and also creating different looks for different people.
How was it at the beginning?
Honestly, it was very lucrative and profitable for me. I started selling hair immediately I got into the university, at that time a lot people knew me for my hairstyles. So, the moment a few of them discovered I had started selling hair, the news traveled very fast. I was selling out my stock in weeks and restocking. At 200 levels in the university I conducted my first outdoor sales in the two most populated female hostels in my school. These very sales fetched me my first set of millions.
What was the turning point for you?
The turning point for me was when I made my first N1.9M as a 200 level student in Obafemi Awolowo University, ile-ife, Osun State.
How was your growing up like: growing up;
Growing up wasn’t so easy. I started house chores and going to the market at an early age. Woe betides you should my grandma feel that you had been cheated in the market. This was where my accountability skill began. You had to account for every kobo given and defend any unnecessary spending. As I grew older, I learnt how to find the best bargains in the market, save money and plan for my sweet and biscuits.
I studied Economics at the Obafemi Awolowo University in Ife. I must say a big thank you to all my lecturers because it is now that I am in business that I can understand the application of the principles we were taught. The famous “dy” and “dx” in the mathematical equations we were being taught is what has taken my business to the level it is today and at the pace at which it grew. So, I am practicing what I actually studied. Economics is the application of business principles in any sphere of life and proper application can only yield success.
I have shared the experience of how I was to write my final year exams whilst I was in secondary school. I was the School Captain at that time and was dependent on an Aunt to pay my WASC fees. This she wasn’t going to make possible except I sacrificed my time to her unfailingly. School had resumed and I had to give an excuse as to why I couldn’t resume on time. I told the authorities that I was sick. Unfortunately for me, my aunt had made me attend the wedding ceremony of her sister where I played the conspicuous role of flower girl. Of course Enugu isn’t such a big town. One of my teachers was at the wedding and clearly saw me. I was reported to the sisters and was faced with 2 choices. Be expelled from the school and lose writing WASC or be demoted as school captain and write WASC. I chose to be demoted and it was the most humiliating time of my life. So, I made myself a promise that I would never depend on anyone for financial help. That I would become so successful in life that I would be able to afford anything I ever desired in life. And thanks to the faithfulness of the Lord and my experiences.
Who are your mentors?
The one man i see as a mentor is Dangote. I like his style of business, which is very similar to how i run Kachi beauty products. My targeted audience is the masses which is the largest portion of the population. And that is what Dangote has done with his products.
Are you mentoring young people presently?
Yes, so many of them, I was mentored in this business. I didn’t just get here. When I started in 2009 during my school days at Ife, there was a lady who gave me credit facilities. She showed me the ropes and encouraged me. As you are aware, I offer the highest quality of hairs for some of the most outrageous prices to encourage resellers who wish to start out in this business. The testimonies are numerous hence the continuous growth of the brand. Also I do give aways on my page, train young people in administrative capacity, styling and treatment of hairs and wig production. My staff strength is about 50 persons as I speak and they are growing by the day.
Tell us some of your success stories?
My biggest challenge was in 2018 when I went to have my daughter abroad. Out of excitement, i conducted a promo themed “push sales”. Untill 2018, push sales was the highest sales kachi beauty products has ever conducted. But, there were a lot of mismanagement and theft from my staff. And that almost cost me my business. I quickly returned back to the country and took charge of the situation. It was really tough, especially with my customers whose orders were badly delayed. But I pulled through. I’m glad to say that as I speak, the number of people that have benefited from my empowerment programs are in the thousands. Many people who have participated in my sales galore are my direct beneficiaries.
Kachi Beauty Products brand has the masses at heart and has been able to provide very high quality hair at prices that encourage resellers. Currently, a Kachi beauty product is running a ‘Distributorship Scheme’ with over 1,000 distributors. The mission is to take over Africa and beyond with our durable and yet affordable hair extensions.
Tell us some of the challenges encountered
Doing business in Nigeria is always a challenge. Starting with finding an appropriate location for your business and the people to work with you in terms of skill acquisition. We have had to do a lot of training over the years to find the crop of workers to entrust business to.
You have to study the hair market and find the competitive edge which has always been the masses. This include trying to break into the international market for best wholesale deals to get high quality products that are readily affordable.
A manhunt has been launched by the Ogun State Police Command for a man who allegedly set a 40-year-old lover he met on Facebook ablaze, KUNLE AKINRINADE reports.
An affair involving a single mother and a man she met on Facebook has ended in tragedy. Folakemi Akorede, a mother of one, died two days after she was set ablaze by her live-in lover, Olayemi Ojo, after an altercation.
Sources close to the two lovebirds said their romance began about four years ago when the deceased woman met Ojo on Facebook and they exchanged phone contacts and shared conversations on Facebook Messenger.
At the time, according to sources, Ojo, who was based in Italy, kick-started a sizzling romance with Folakemi and sent her several gift items.
An insider who confided in our correspondent revealed that Ojo even paid for new accommodation for Folakemi in a bid to make her comfortable.
The Nation gathered that Ojo returned to Nigeria on December 21, 2020 and moved in with Folakemi at her new residence at No 11 Alawonle Street, Ojo Ade area, off Dalemo Egbado Road, Alakuko, Ifo Local Government Area, Ogun State.
Trouble, however, started when Ojo allegedly discovered that some family members he was sending money to help him build his personal house had played a prank on him. Ojo was said to have been miffed that Folakemi did not help him monitor the people he paid to build the house. The matter was said to have degenerated into a row, following which Folakemi, populary called Mummy Favour, left the house for about one week.
The row however took a tragic turn on February 9, 2021 when she returned home thinking that Ojo’s anger would have subsided. But while the deceased woman was seated on a chair in the living room, Ojo, who was said to have pretended that he was no longer angry with her, allegedly poured petrol on her from behind and set her ablaze before she could rush out of their apartment.
Ojo, who is now on the run, allegedly took Folakemi’s mobile phone with him before he vanished into the air.
Folakemi, a 40-year-old native of Ado-Ekiti, was rushed by neighbours to a public hospital where she allegedly died two days later from the severe burns she received from the incident.
Sources at the residence of the deceased said they were shocked at the gruesome killing of the woman they described as friendly.
A neighbour who spoke in confidence said: “It happened that she had been dating a man called Ojo Oluyemi since about four years ago. They met on Facebook, because at that time, Ojo was living in Italy.
“They met and started their affair on the internet. The man paid the rent for the apartment where the woman was staying
“On December 21 last year, the man came to Nigeria and stayed with the woman. The man was said to have sprinkled petrol on her and set her ablaze.
“After the incident, the man ran away with the mobile phone of the single mother.
“Mummy Favour was a very warm person. She went about her life without any friction with neighbours. It was quite shocking that such fate would befall her.”
Another source said the affair between the duo had been tempestuous before the suspect arrived in the country about four months ago.
Some friends of the deceased were said to have warned her against continuing with the relationship because of Ojo’s penchant for getting angry unnecessarily.
One of them said: “Mummy Favour (deceased) complained of being emotionally hurt and insulted by the man and this went on for some time.
“At times, they would not even talk for weeks because of what the deceased described as Ojo’s recalcitrant attitude towards her.
“She, however, continued with the relationship each time the man pacified her, most times with gifts.
“She was friendly with people and his son too. We were speechless when she shouted for help after her lover set fire to her body and fled from the apartment.”
A neighbour identified simply as Wale described the woman’s last days as harrowing.
Recalling Folakemi’s last moments, he said: “She reclined in her hospital bed with tears and regretted continuing with the relationship against the advice of her close friends and family members.
“She was led on by the thought that the relationship compensated for the previous one that hit the rock, not knowing that she would be gruesomely killed by a man she fell in love with on Facebook.”
It was said that Folakemi’s body has since been deposited at a public morgue, pending police clearance for her interment.
“We attended the same church. The pastor and some elders are awaiting police permission to pick her body from the mortuary for proper burial, possibly in a few days from now,” Wale added.
It was learnt that the incident was reported at the Agbado Police Division.
Contacted, the spokesman of Ogun State Police Command, Mr Abimbola Oyeyemi, a Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP), said the command was on the trail of the suspect.
“The story is true,” Oyeyemi said.
“It’s a gruesome attack on a woman by her live-in lover at their residence. The man is not actually the woman’s husband; they were just live-in lovers.
“It happened that the woman, called Folakemi, was previously married to a man for whom she had a son. She had issues with her marriage and separated from her husband, following which she befriended this man (Ojo) and moved in with him.
“She had a misunderstanding with the man and the man set her ablaze. She was rushed to a hospital where she later died.
“The man, who is the suspect, is now on the run and the police are seriously looking for him.
“We are on his trail and intensifying efforts to arrest him and make him face the wrath of the law for his crime.
“I can assure you that efforts are in top gear to arrest the suspect who has committed this heinous crime by setting his lover ablaze.”
Oyeyemi said the body of the late woman would be released for burial at the conclusion of ongoing investigations, including an autopsy.
“The body of the woman is still at the mortuary. We shall release the body to his family for burial at the completion of ongoing investigations, including an autopsy that will be carried out on her body because of the nature of her death,” he said.
Mr. Victor Eburajolo is the Group Deputy Managing Director, Kewalram-Chanrai Group, one of the few Nigerians occupying high-ranking position in the over 110 years old conglomerate with interests in automobile, pharmaceuticals, agribusiness and agro-allied sectors, to mention just a few. In this interview with IBRAHIM APEKHADE YUSUF, the Warri-born lawyer and human resources expert who landed his first job in 1976 takes us through his career trajectory thus far. Excerpts:
When does your typical day begin?
The first thing is that you have to go by example. Get to the office on time and you’re consistent. One thing we have done here is that if you’re not going to be in the office because you have outside meeting, we have this dashboard where you send all your messages and everybody knows where you’re. I personally believe that to be a good leader, you must lead by example. If you come late to work and you display indiscipline attitude others will follow you. For me, it’s an attitude. Your attitude can keep you or get you out of the office. I have been like this since 1976 when I landed my first job so it’s part of me. Apart from that, you must also be seen to be transparent. Everybody should know that your word is your bond. You don’t say something and you do something otherwise. I also want to emphasis that one of the policies here is that we respect government officials because when you respect them, you respect your country. You might not like what they’re doing but you got to give them that respect as your representative. We follow that here very strictly. Here discipline is the main thing. I have always told people that in my country Nigeria, our problem is not corruption. Our problem is indiscipline. If you’re discipline you’ll go into corruption. That is the truth. If you’re discipline, you’ll obey the law. It was said in this country that you cannot drive and be using your phone. I had to stop a policeman one day. He was driving and was on phone, so I told my driver to cross his way and I walked up to him and said, ‘What do you think you’re doing driving and using your phone at the same time? How can you arrest someone tomorrow using the phone and driving when you’re showing a good example yourself?’ It’s only in this country where somebody has uses his authority unabashedly but fails to uphold the responsibility that comes with such authority.
What’s your management style?
As a company, our management style is people first because we believe the employee who is happy will give his or her best. But people make the mistake to think that once you pay the employee very well, you’ll get the best from him. Let me tell you, whatever you pay the employee, he still believes that he is been shortchanged and the employer believes he is paying too much. So we must strike a balance. When you respect your employees, he in turn respects you and the organisation. I’ll not raise my voice up on any member of staff. Even those that work directly with me, they know me. If I want to correct anything they have done, say for instance, a memo, I’ll say to them, ‘may I suggest so and so…? I think it’ll be fine I we do it that way.’ Many times, I discover that they go and keep a copy of that letter and compare notes with it for other times. But if I shout on them, they’ll walk out. One thing we had to stop here was when suddenly, we just heard workers calling their managers ‘bosses.’ You hear expressions like, ‘Good morning boss!’ and I took it up and said, ‘What is all this boss thing? This is actually nonsense!’ I told them we can’t harbour such mentality here because at Kewalram, we operate like a family but we’re very stern. So you got to treat everybody you’re working with as family. We let everyone know the rules.
What’s your management philosophy?
My management philosophy is to do the best you can for your organisation at all times. Some people may not like what I want to say but what I normally say to people is that the God that created you knows your beginning and end. So whatever your hand find to do, do it well to the best of your knowledge in order to give glory to God because it is only He alone that can reward you. Even if you’re being paid in millions by man, one day he will disappoint you. My son asked me one day and said, ‘you’ve been working all these years, what is your salary? That thing struck me and I didn’t even know what to say to him. But I told him, if you enjoy what you do, you won’t have to work ever in your life.
How do you motivate your staff?
In tough times like this, we go out of our way to assist our staff with all forms of palliatives and welfare packages such as rice, ground nut. We support their cooperatives with products at less down 70 per cent of the price just to assist the staff members.
Do you apply the stick and carrot approach?
Yes, there’re rules and there is a handbook and everyone has it. So that if you commit an offence, the first time, second, third time, we call you to have a chat with you and explain the implication of recording it down is that it’ll affect you; it’s either you’re on your way out or cost your promotion and something else. Like said, we work like a family. So when anything happens, we want to hear from you and let you know before any action is taken against you. Like I said, at the Kewalram Chanrai Group across the world, they have this concept of family.
What motivates you?
Of course, I like what I do and I enjoy doing it and I thank God that one has made some meaningful making impact. And then I have the opportunity to keep myself abreast of business generally. You don’t stop reading because you’re old; you get old once you stop reading.
What was the last book you read and when?
The book I’m reading now focuses on the period of former United States president, Bill Clinton. I also read the Harvard Business, a magazine being published by the IoD. These days, it is a lot easier now through electronic means you can receive tonnes of files and documents on different subject-matter.
How do you unwind?
I used to play tennis before. You know as you grow old, you’re not as agile as you used to be. I went to play at the play court one day and it affected my kneels. Now, I listen to music and I sleep a lot too. But then, I have a mini gym in my bathroom, where I exercise. Yesterday, I recall my wife telling me this is enough that you have aging; you can’t be doing 60 kilometres on the treadmill all the time.
You’re turning 73 years in July. For a man of your age still looking boyish, how do you maintain your looks? Do you follow any regimen of sorts?
I don’t eat that much but I mind what I eat a lot. I have cut off sugar completely now for almost 20years. The thing is once you get to a certain age and you take a particular say for up to three times and it upsets your system, the wisest thing to do is to cut it off.
You talked about food, do you cook?
Yeah, I cook on Sundays. My wife is from the north and on Sundays I prepare the native Itsekiri dishes like banga soup and make starch for them. I’m in charge of the kitchen at the weekends really. (laughs)…
Since you cook, I can only ask you this question, do you do the dishes?
Oh, yes, I do. In our home everyone does the dishes. My wife just retired from the Nigeria Customs. And my children, the last one is going to 24. We are all grownups. In those days when the kids where around, you could quickly call somebody to go do this and that one but not anymore. My wife, she does the dishes, the kids do theirs too. Sometimes when they come into the kitchen and see me doing the dishes they want to help and most times, I decline.
But some other persons may think such things are actually beneath them like doing the dishes and all?
You’re the CEO at your workplace only. As a matter of fact do you know who is the CEO at home? It’s the madam herself. (laughs).
As an Itsekiri boy growing up, how did your background influenced what you’re today? Can you take us through your career trajectory in the last 45 years?
I didn’t grow up with my parents; I grew up with my auntie in Sapele. I was sent there at age 4. The environment then was quite different from what we have today and I’m talking of late 50s. When I finished my primary school, my auntie, told me I should go and be a dock work, which was the job that was common in those days. But I refused. I knew what I wanted in life. I think she was very upset because every other person my age all went to be a dock worker. Then I managed and went to secondary school, that’s Hussey College, in Warri. After that, we had an uncle in Lagos, who could get me into the Customs.
Again, my auntie said I should go and join the Customs. I told her sorry that I wasn’t going to join the Customs. Again, she was very upset. That time in Sapele there I also remembered that there was a light-skinned young man; they used to call him, ‘Yellow Flash.” He was riding Vesper and so every young boy in Sapele said their ambition was to be like him and be driving a vesper and carrying girls around town. Unfortunately for me, I had lost my mum at a very tender age but somehow I just knew what I wanted. I remember my auntie when he got so frustrated with me told me, ‘Let me see what you’ll amount to, you this no-do-well.’ I did not talk back, but I told myself in my mind silently that I’ll become something in life.
Sometime, I’ll stamp my foot on the ground and she (auntie) will say, ‘what are you doing?’ I’ll say nothing. But I was rebelling within myself. (laughs). The day we finished high school, the principal at the time, a reverend, tapped on the window and said, “see me in my office.’ As I was a going, I saw Jackson Gaius Obaseki, who later became the Group Managing Director at the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), outside, and he told him Lanky because that is what we used to call then. He said the man can’t expel us again because we have finished our A-levels. We both went to his office and we gave us a letter. We were looking at ourselves. Then the principal said, ‘Open the letters or can’t you boys read again? C’mon get out of this place!’ we went out and open the letters and it turned out that we were to resume on Monday as high school teachers. Unlike Jackson and others who gained admission into the university on time, I stayed back in the school for a while because of what I told you. While they were going to the university, Shell gave me a job. I worked with Shell for 11 years and I saved enough money to send myself to school. In a nutshell, that’s my life story. While at the university, I read law. I was in practice for about nine months then I saw a Daily Times advertisement for a Personnel Manager in 1975. You won’t believe that when they called for that position it was 23 people that came for that job at the Nigerian Textile Mills at the time.
All human beings have personal battles they fight daily. While some people come out unscathed, others are consumed by these battles.
Businessman Oscar Ibru fought a quiet battle recently – a battle with the deadly pandemic, COVID-19, which has ended many lives prematurely in Nigeria and beyond.
He contracted the virus and had to stay in an isolation centre for more than a month. It was a scary time for the Ibru Family who are yet to fully recover from the loss of his patriarch – business mogul, Michael Ibru, and founder of The Guardian, Alex Ibru.
Describing his experience in a message sent out to family and well-wishers, Oscar admitted he almost died.
He stated: “I almost died. No kidding. COVID-19 is Evil. 7 weeks and 2 days, man! Pneumonia, kidney, liver, collapsed lungs, cough like no other, fever. In short death. Finally unconscious. No breathing whatsoever. Doctors lost hope. I kicked that mother fucker’s ass. But he left some serious collateral damage. Thank God my heart was strong from some of those things we did in the days and at the same time being an athlete in the good old days”.
“My heart refused to quit. So, here I am, home at last. My brother, the shit was rough and painful as hell. I do not wish for a re-match. I lost over 10 direct friends in my 7 weeks of incarceration. Same hospital. The day I went in, Bolu came out on the way to the mortuary. The day I left (on my 2 feet), Kitty Rhodes left but flat on his back on the way to the morgue. Praise God. I must have done something right or I am about to. All I know is thank you God.”
Dear Aunty Temilolu, I am 26 years old. When I was growing up I made up my mind to remain a virgin till my wedding night. I have 3 elder sisters and none is married. I have been so scared that I am not going to get married as well. I kept up the fight till my 25th birthday last year. I began having doubts that if I stayed without a boyfriend I’d never get married and I needed someone that will be helping me financially and all the men coming wanted sex, so I decided to have a boyfriend and then deflowered myself.
Ma, I am ashamed of myself now because from November 2019 to October 2020, I have slept with six men and none of them have proposed marriage to me, the issue now is that they only want my body and nothing else!
I have become a shadow of myself, I am depressed and ashamed of myself. Each time I go through your articles especially the one you wrote about a 25-yr- old virgin that is getting married very soon, I cry in regret wondering why I didn’t wait for God’s time! God’s time is the best my brethren, please pray for me to stay chaste and wait for the right man. I am now waiting for God’s will on my matter. God will bless you ma!
Girls…girls…girls,
Wow! Just wow!!! How can you preserve your virginity till 26 and then sleep with 6 guys in 11 months after all that painful endurance, all forms of embarrassments and refusal to fall into temptation even in great lack? I tell you, it’s pointless wanting to subdue your flesh and preserve your virginity if you’re not possessed by the Spirit of God. Which power do you have to fight sexual urges when they come? “Sitting on” facebook, Instagram, ticktok or your false lashes, wig, make-up…certainly not! You need a higher power to be able to tame your flesh because fleshly lust is a spirit and your sexual urge even though normal- if not tamed could eventually control you and direct your life! Yes! And the earlier you get fired up in the Holy Spirit, the easier you will find it to preserve your virginity till your wedding night. The bible even confirms this in Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you…”
You have to be very determined and shut the world away! You have to act as though you’re only in this world to please God otherwise, the world would get not only into your head but into your eyes, ears, heart and every sense of reasoning you have and influence you wrongly! This is a very serious matter!
You have to make the conscious efforts especially when your parents haven’t laid a solid spiritual background for you! Even as we speak, a lot of parents don’t emphasise sexual purity to most of you, they just say it passively. What then can anyone do? And to think your sexual purity can enable you amass enormous power to fight the ancestral battles that conquered your parents and made a mess of some lives. Unfortunately, before an average girl even discovers herself, her life is open to demonic invasion through sex. And sadly, a lot of churches you’d rather attend would tell you, you don’t need the fire of deliverance as old things have passed away after you got born-again! Hmm…may the devil not sit permanently on your life and drive it as it likes! Just check out the Miss C’s experience! I pray you would be massively, richly and entirely sorted out in life by God by the time you are her age! Yes because under normal circumstances, a glorious and a wonderfully-wonderful life should be an outcome of a chaste life!
Miss C is on a spiritual reformation and God is going to make a spectacular showcase of her to the world. Here are more of my nuggets which would encourage you to stay chaste till your wedding night.
Girls, too many beautiful women are spiritually-ragged! Of what good is a rag? BY ALL MEANS STAY CHASTE!
Girls, you’re better off wearing rags than clothes gotten in exchange for sex! May God clothe you with unending, overwhelming, global honour in Jesus name!
It’s not enough to abstain from ungodly sex, you must be in the spirit always and guard your privacy! May our flesh not disgrace us in Jesus name!
Defiling your body- God’s temple is utter disregard for the Holy Spirit! May God not turn His back on you when you need Him most!
I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowo Temilolu.
Are you still engaging in pre-marital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary virgin! You are most welcome on board the chastity campaign train and Girls Club is open for all girls and ladies. Please text your name, age, school or occupation and State of domicile to 07086620576.
The member of the House of Representatives representing Abi/Yakurr Constituency in Cross River State, Dr. Alex Egbona, offers a different perspective in the restructuring debate and the security challenges confronting the nation in this interview with INNOCENT DURU. The only political office holder elected on the platform of the All Progressives Congress in the state in the last general elections also speaks on the ongoing registration exercise in the party and the approval of a new polytechnic for his constituency by the federal government, among other issues.
How is the fresh registration of APC members going in your area?
It is going on very well. Some of us who are leaders are mobilising our followers and the people of our constituency to either register as new members or revalidate their membership as old members. It is actually an opportunity for us to evangelise, if you like, and boost our membership. In my constituency, it is even more of a necessity for us to get more of our people to join the party because we are seeing development projects from the federal government. My only concern is that we should avoid any form of crisis as a result of the ongoing exercise. The registration exercise should unite and not divide us. There have been stories of clashes here and there in some parts of the country. We do not want to experience this in Cross River. I urge all my people to go about this business peacefully.
But there are reports of fraudulent activities and even clashes during the registration is some states
Well, I have read such reports in some states but in Cross River where I come from, I am not aware of any of such. The exercise has just commenced in earnest and those of us who are stakeholders are mobilising our people to go and get registered. I have personally revalidated my membership of the party and I am encouraging others to come in.
You see, because of the what the APC government is doing at the national level for our state, the latest being the approval of a federal polytechnic for my constituency, my people are very excited and it is enough encouragement for them to want to join the party. They believe that I am showing the way to where good things are happening. So, they are enthusiastic to register afresh.
You talked about clashes in some places. It is not happening in my constituency because the exercise is going on peacefully in every polling unit across the entire constituency. I am aware that same thing is happening everywhere in the state. The team that came to my constituency, for example, is led by a very credible and down to earth party man, Hon Chinedu Ogar. He is someone you can always trust to protect the interest of the party. So, he and his team members are doing what is expected of them.
I believe that this is one exercise that will open doors of opportunities for the APC to draw more members ahead of the 2023 elections. You know, politics is a game of numbers. The more people we are able to rake in, the more it will become difficult for other parties to defeat us in future elections. It is also heart-warming to notice that people are really taking advantage of the registration and revalidation exercise to join the party. As the only elected member of the APC from my state, and from the little things that I have been able to attract to our constituency in the last few months since I settled down to work after those series of court cases and rerun election, my people are convinced that following me is much gain to them and to the generality of our people. So, it is safe to say that there cannot be any crisis in the course of the registration exercise because my people know what they want and people like us are involved.
There are security challenges in the country now because of the activities of some killer herdsmen. What do you think is the way forward?
It is very simple. I do not support criminal activities under any guise. I also believe that nobody has the right to use his business to destroy another person’s business or source of livelihood. People should know that where their right stops is where the right of others begins. Why should some people in the name of cattle rearing invade other people’s farmlands, destroy same and, in some cases, kill the owners of the farm or rape their women if they resist their actions? That is unfair and cannot be tolerated by anybody with conscience.
But it still boils down to the issue of character and attitude. I believe that anybody who wants to do his rearing business should negotiate with the owners of the lands they are interested in, buy them if necessary, lease if necessary, hire if necessary and use them on the basis of the terms of agreement. If the herder respects the rights of the owners of farmlands and the farm owners also respect the rights of the herders, the clashes we are hearing of will cease. We must change in our disposition towards one another.
The federal government has just approved a new polytechnic for your constituency. What does this mean to you?
It means a lot to me. It means a lot to the people of Abi/Yakurr Federal Constituency. It means a lot to the people of Cross River State. You must have heard that I sponsored a bill for the establishment of a federal polytechnic in my constituency. I took this as a project and the bill has already passed through the second reading stage. As a politician and parliamentarian, I believe in lobbying, I believe in the principle of give and take. The ultimate goal for every politician is to get results for their people.
While the legislative processes were on-going, I had some information about the federal government’s plans to establish some polytechnics. So, I had to consult major stakeholders in my state and constituency on how to ensure that we did not miss out on it. Everybody worked in unity for the common goal of getting the federal polytechnic to be located in the constituency. I wanted it in Ekureku, because we have so much land and the people were willing and ready to offer their land. Other people wanted the polytechnic in their land. It is politics and it is all about interest. So, we were all interested in getting the school to our various places. But you see, if we had insisted on our interests, maybe we would have missed it. So, at a point, we all agreed that it should go to Ugep, the political headquarters of the federal constituency.
Alex Egbona
Don’t forget that before now, the Obol Lopon Ugep, who is also the paramount ruler of Yakurr Local Government, His Royal Majesty Ofem Clement Ubana, had written to Mr President, telling him about the need for the school to be sited in Ugep. So, with his backing, one of Ugep’s sons in whom I am well pleased, Barrister Okoi Obono Obla, joined me as we moved to all the necessary offices in Abuja to pursue the matter.
Mind you, past members of the National Assembly from the area had also played one role or the other at different times to ensure that a federal polytechnic comes to our state. Immediate past and the present ministers from the state also played tremendous roles. It was a team work and I am happy that we have got a higher institution of that magnitude to our senatorial district.
There is one thing I keep saying: Mr President must have considered and approved this polytechnic for Ugep as reward for the people’s resilience and support for the APC. Remember that Cross River is a PDP state. So, PDP wanted to take all available positions in the state. But Abi/Yakurr people stood their grounds and at the end of the day, we won a seat in the House of Reps and I was declared winner, to represent the people. That was during the general election. The election was nullified and a rerun ordered. That rerun was like war. PDP came with all their arsenals. They wanted to take the seat, but my people said it would not happen. That was when I saw the real colour of unity and love. People like Senator John Owan Enoh, Senator Victor Ndoma Egba, who are not even from that federal constituency, stood by us and made sure that APC won. A lot of people from the PDP who believed in my capacity also stood by me and supported the Abi/Yakurr people. We won the rerun and I returned to the National Assembly.
So, part of what Mr President was told was that look, this federal constituency stood their ground and supported the APC. So, let this be a reward for their dedication to the party. Thank God, Mr President listened and hearkened to the pleas of our people and today, we have a federal polytechnic. Interestingly, apart from approving Ugep as the location, Mr President also approved N2 billion for the take-off. So, we are full of gratitude to Mr President. I am personally grateful to all those who played different roles in making this happen. Let me say this: I have heard all kinds of comments about who did what and who did not do what. I don’t think we should fight over who takes the glory for the birth of the Ugep polytechnic. I was taught by my history teacher many years ago that the founder of an empire and the man who came to build it are all great men. If anything, I would say that the APC people and those Cross Riverians who stood on the side of truth, justice and fairness, insisting that the people’s votes counted, are the real heroes as far as this project is concerned. They are the people that should take the glory for the establishment of the polytechnic in Ugep. Perhaps, if the APC did not win anything, maybe, just maybe, the federal government might not have listened to us when we were fighting for this. But now, the battle is over. The polytechnic is safely in our hands. The next thing is for us is to remain united in doing all what we need to do so that the school can take off in October.
What is your take on the clamour for restructuring the country and how will the National Assembly look at this burning issue on resumption?
You must be aware that I am a member of the APC and our party is seriously in support of restructuring. That was why the party set up a high powered committee led by the governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai. The committee has since submitted its report and the party, to the best of my knowledge, is considering what the El-Rufai committee did. Having said that, let me add that apart from the APC as a party, I doubt if there is anybody in this country who does not believe in the theory of restructuring. The only area of disagreement, if you ask me, is in the modalities. There are people who argue that the six regional structures of the country should be changed. There are those who argue that each state should be allowed to take care of themselves and make due returns to the centre. There are people who believe that the country is too big to allow decisions to be taken by the centre, on behalf of the states. Some people want what they call true federalism.
I have taken a look at the report of the El-Rufai committee and I am aware that some of these concerns were addressed by the committee. What is remaining now is for a definite statement to be made by the government at the centre on some of the issues. For me, we need to restructure, and the first port of call should be our character and attitude. I read recent reports where the immediate past president, Dr Goodluck Jonathan, was quoted as saying that Nigerians needed to restructure their mindset first. I agree with him, somehow. But I will add that Nigerians need to restructure their character and attitude first while we wait for other forms of restructuring to happen.
You see, Nigerians have a way of shouting about restructuring, about this and that. Again, people have started calling for the birth of state police as a way of tacking insecurity in the country. Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has said so recently. Even El-Rufai has also talked about it. I think that was a few days ago. But what I have noticed is this: if Nigerians find the need to restructure their attitude and character, particularly in the way they deal with fellow human beings, crime rate will reduce, other forms of social vices will reduce.
If a man considers that it is wrong and a crime against a fellow human being to plot to kidnap him, or kill him, or defraud him, he will not contemplate doing those things and, of course, the police and other security agencies will have less work to do. What that means is that there will be no clamour for state police.
If Nigerians consider a change in their character and attitude towards others, nobody will be greedy; nobody will think of getting involved in acts of nepotism as we have seen in Nigeria today.
Charismatic preacher and Bishop of City of Refuge Missions International, Oscar Ossai, was one of the ministers of God who ventured into politics in the build-up to the nation’s return to civilian rule in 1999 but had to quit the scene because of what he called “the abracadabra” that attended the “election and selection” of candidates, which made him to see politics as a dirty game! But Ossai, who had his apostolic tutelage under the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa of Church of God Missions International, returned to gospel ministry only to find that the politics in the church is even more overwhelming than obtains in the secular world. He relived his experience in this regard and other aspects of life in this interview with PAUL UKPABIO
In 1999, you ventured into politics and you said you wanted to make a difference, but you soon opted out and never said anything about it again…
(Laughs) That was a really lousy experience which I sometimes look back at and wished I knew better. Well, I was part of the founding members of the PDP (Peoples Democratic Party) in Enugu back then. In my political naivety, I contested for a seat in the House of Representatives. Little did I know that election in Nigeria goes beyond being a known figure or being qualified for the seat. You have to be selected by the people who are already there before you can face the people to contest. I felt there wasn’t internal democracy process in the parties.
I believe that I won in 1999. But somehow, perhaps the results were changed from Abuja. I left them briefly because I got angry and got disenchanted. I left because I had told pastors all over the world, as a member of a pastors’ network which originated in America with over 30,000 pastors on its list worldwide, that I would emerge as the winner and would invite them to Nigeria to democratise the country with us.
I had made lots of noise. I had told them that I won the primaries in the party, only to be told that I lost! It was difficult to face them, so I left politics.
So you made a retreat?
I had to. I didn’t understand the abracadabra that was played against me then. I couldn’t flow with the process because I saw that a lot of things were wrong.
And you went back to embrace the church…
Oh yes, I did just that. The church was home to me. I got born again early so I was part of the student Christian movement. I was in leadership position then at the University of Nigeria. And today, having put in almost 45 years in the church, there is no church I have not been part of except the Redeemed Christian Church of Christ.
I started with Bishop Benson Idahosa in Church of God Mission. I was in UCC at a stage. I was in Scripture Union. I was in Household of God with Kris Okotie who repented right there in my hostel room in the university. At a stage, we were supporting Chris when he started Household of God. I was part of Revival Assembly with Anselm Madubuku. I was part of Glory Land; Word Mission Outreach with my friend Rev Johnson who was with me from the University; Christ Chapel where I had been a prophet in the church. I have been a prayer warrior and head of prayer ministry. I have been a choir member. I have been part of the pastoral team.
You spoke about Rev. Chris Okotie…
Yes. That is one of my seniors in Christianity.
Can you recall how he became born again in your hostel room?
Chris was a friend to Arch Eziekel Nya Etuk, my roommate. Our room, G211 in GH hostel was a room celebrated on campus as being a place for a new phase of born again Christians. I remember Chris saying to me once: ‘Are you saying this Ossai too will be going to heaven?’ We carved an image of being very well dressed and yet we were SUs.
Chris began to come around a few times and eventually gave his life to Christ. This was same time that Jide Obi, who also later became a pop star, repented too.
He was a musician at the time he became a born again Christian. Did you believe him initially?
Initially, I didn’t. Because like we all knew him then, he was deep into music. He sang ‘I need someone…’ He used to come to my room. It was, however, when he got born again that my friendship with him got better.
Did you believe that his being born again would last?
As a matter of fact, some of us who were in the fellowship joined Kris Okotie then because we were afraid that he would backslide. We felt we should hang around him for this thing that God has done for him to survive. That was why some of us came to his church.
Did he have to struggle with Christianity back then?
Kris was a special person. In fact we were shocked. He nearly didn’t even graduate. He just started reading the bible in the bush and everywhere. The quantum of time the guy used in improving himself spiritually was awesome. He made a lot of sacrifice. I have never seen a thing like that. His was phenomenal. One can recall that he got born again with Jide Obi, but where is Jide Obi now? Kris Okotie continued and before we knew it, went ahead and started a church. Some of us in the fellowship then suddenly considered him too serious. His boldness shocked everybody, and that is the truth. I was there. I saw him first giving his life to Christ and I have seen him as a pastor, how he has held on and he loves God with all his heart!
What prompted your recent return to politics?
It was while in the church I realised that when people talk about politics, I saw the ignorance in it all. Church people talk down on politics and I see a lot of ignorance in that because the church itself is totally immersed in politics. There is no gathering of two people where there is no politics, even in families. And even in the church, the politics there is more than the politics in Aso Rock (Presidential Villa). I think what they are talking about and they are against in the church unknown ingly is party politics. That is what the church seems to be against. They don’t know much about that because they have not been there.
Bishop Oscar Ossai
Some pastors don’t know anything about politics. My argument has continued to be that politics is about how do we share scarce resources because resources are forever scarce? How do we make sure the greater majority of the people get as much as possible from the resources that are scarce? That is what politics is about.
If the church does not understand and does not like politics, what will you as a bishop be doing in it?
I am seeing politics in a different light. The church should be a bridge between the people and society. The church should have a message for the world, and that message is what I am asking God for. The Nigerian church is yet to attain the fullness of the measure of Christ in the area of government, and the Nigerian government does not see the church as a partner in progress, which is what it should be because the church is a platform for government to reach out to the society, but government does not understand this.
The reality of the situation is that the communication theory that talks about two-step flow is what the government of Nigeria does not know how to apply for their messages to reach the grassroots. The church is a veritable tool that can be used to connect society to government. So governance has to be relevant in the church and the church relevant in the issues of state. It baffles me when Christians wonder why I talk about politics when I am inside the church.
You are definitely an Igbo man in Lagos…
Yes, I have lived here for 35 years, schooled here, went to University of Nigeria, Nsukka for my first degree, then the University of Lagos for post graduate diploma and masters degree.
What difference do you see between today’s Lagos and the Lagos of those days?
A lot of difference! When I arrived in Lagos, it was a bit friendlier. I am not talking about individuals now. Lagos then was a place you could come and immediately fit in. Lagos was a place where any little idea you come up with sells! Lagos was a place where you could just run into a destiny helper, unlike now that even the destiny helpers themselves are struggling. Things are tight everywhere now. The city was more accommodating. We didn’t see much difference then, and as an Igbo man wherever God takes us to, we put all our eggs in that basket. We develop the place. That is how God made us.
How was growing up for you and what was it like?
I was born in Enugu city and the war drove us out of Enugu and we ran round and ended back in my village. I am the fourth child in the family of 11, 4 boys, I’m the second son, and 7 girls from one mother and same father. My father was not a rich man, he was poor and retired from public works department as a painter, an artisan. But he was the first person in our village who left to experience township. So he was a respected man in the sense that a lot of people that came out of the village had him as a base to start life in the city.
My father believed in education and today, my family is a family that is recognised with education in my village. We had the first graduate in the family who was my mother’s younger brother, who became the cynosure, so to say, for everyone in the village. I remembered when we were small, my father used to hang his bicycle on the wall. There was a way he built the wall so that he could hang it and there would be space for us to sleep on the floor. I didn’t grow up in wealth, but I had a family where there was love; where no matter how hard it was outside, you could run because Mama would have hot food for you.
Is Nigeria ready for a Christian president at this time?
I guess that I should know the answer to that question. Yes, Nigeria is ready for a Christian president at this time. Ask CAN, ask PFM. Let me even tell you about the thinking inside the church today. The Nigerian church represented by the Christian Association of Nigeria, Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria, are really saying that the only hope for Nigeria is for a proper born again Christian to emerge as the President of Nigeria. That is the thinking of the church today in Nigeria. But whether they will get up as a church to pursue the ambition is a different issue entirely.
I am an elder in the church. I am a senior bishop. I am no longer a small child in the church, so i should know. The thinking is that we need a David ordained by God to turn around things in this country because no matter how successful you are from Nigeria you are at best a personal success.
But collectively, we are all failures. I preach the gospel all over nations in the world they ask Bishop Oscar you speak very well, you love God, but how come your country is the way it is with men like you? So once they ask me that question, I feel weak physically. Indirectly, they tell me that I should go and practice what I preach in my country. And that is what Donald Trump too told us: ‘Go and practice your faith in your country first.’
Your last word for Christians in Nigeria
I believe that as Christians, we can change this country. I believe that Nigeria can be better than we see it. I was sitting with a former Chief of Air Staff in his house and they took light. I said to him, ‘Oga, do you see what I am saying?’ He said what are you saying, Bishop? I told him you retired as a former Chief of Air Staff; look at how you are sweating in your own sitting room. Your colleague in Washington DC, the guy that you did some courses with, will he be experiencing such a light outage? So that is it. We have to correct these things.
The first day I landed in America about 25-30 years ago, I thought the weather would be coloured pictures like in the book. I flew from Lagos-Brazil-Florida. So as I was alighting from the plane, I was shocked when I realised that it was like our weather in Nigeria. The sky was the same, only that the roads were well planned, health care system functioned, bright lights, water working. In fact, when I saw the light, I jumped up to quickly iron my clothes before they would take it! I had to unlearn something.
I know it is possible here. I believe we can do all that too here as Christians. I am encouraging Christians to come out and let’s join hands to build this nation. It is a national cry. Let’s stop pretending that politics is dirty. Go and clean it up if it is dirty.
It is Valentine’s Day tomorrow. There is a lot of excitement in the air. A time traditionally known for outfits in red and white.
However, you will notice that the trend is shifting for many. Instead, you find them going for outfits in metallic shades that dazzle. This can be found in the tops, dresses or trousers and more. Others simply made use of the metallic for their shoes, bags, belts, jackets and other accessories.
If you are excited by the effect created by the metallic shade, you can join the train and make bold statements your way.
Ini-Dima Okojie
Ini-Dima looks quite appealing in this red and white top and trouser. In the background
is a signature red designer purse that speaks class. She also displays a brown raffia bag
with her name boldly written on it.
Bukola Adeeyo
Bukola dazzles in this silver shimmering gown. The effect of the studs, metallic shoes and smart outlook make her really exciting to behold.
Kim Oprah
Shimmering and stylish. This simple shirt and trouser combination speaks volume .
Ruky Sanda
Black is beautiful. This simple black dress makes Ruky a delight.
DJ Cuppy
Her pink hairdo is the trademark. She also looks cool in this brown top, trouser and jacket.
Nkechi Blessing
Regal. She rocks in this silver and deep peach top and trouser. It certainly sits well on her silver and black high heeled shoes.
Shaffy Bello
Shaffy steps out looking glamorous in this simple top and pant. The unique part of her combination is his flowing Kimono top also in black but with Ankara patches and trimmings.
Mo Cheddah
Cute! That is what comes to mind as you admire the singer in this black tee shirt and sexy brown shorts. Her sandals are magnetic clinging nicely to her beautiful skin in style.
A couple relocated from England to Nigeria to take up a family business and few days ago they were in my office for a deep, soul-searching session. From all appearances, their sex life had hit the rocks a few months following their arrival due to the nature of Nigerian lifestyle. Things are not just as they used to be.
While the wife was of the opinion that they can make their sex life at least close to what they had way back, the husband was very uncomfortable with the demand. After all said and done he blurted out: “Madam, how can my wife expect the best sex and still have it regularly? To be honest with you, where we come from there is a working system unlike where we are now and my wife is not just ready to face reality.
“How can I face Lagos’ terrible traffic while going to work and while coming back and still come home and pretend all is well and deliver charming, nice sex. A famished husband doesn’t have energy for sex. Most times I get back from work and my wife never seems to understand the fact that I can’t have sex with her like I use to; I am just too busy.”
Although married couples struggle to agree on a variety of issues, it seems that regular sex is one area in which they often give up trying to find a solution. To help protect the marriage union couples should approach the sexual aspect of their marriage in the context of their entire relationship. This is by making sure they recognize some predominant truths about sexual intimacy in marriage. Sex and all its pleasures is an inbuilt desire that needs expression from time to time; orgasm is needed to get bonded. So, sex should be exceptionally enjoyable by deliberately creating time for it.
Secondly, couples must agree to keep talking about sex in the relationship even when they are not enjoying it to the fullest; by so doing it will be easy to give it priority. Great sex begins with talking together in an open, trusting, accepting manner, and it is the only path to resolving the “how often is enough” question. Thirdly, you should agree not to assume anything about your mate. Many factors lie behind each person’s desire for more sex or less.
Do not assume that it is simply a male versus female inconsistency in desire or that you know what your spouse’s “problem” is, or the unhealthy system you both found yourselves. Also, do not insist that your spouse must conform to your libido and timetable. On the flipside, do not assume your mate knows why you feel the way you do. You have to express your own feelings, preferences and concerns in a selfless manner.
Instead of assuming, commit yourself to understanding your spouse and to helping him or her understand you. That is part of your lifelong commitment to care for and treasure each other. Fourth, agree to consider possible outside barriers. If past or present experiences are affecting your sexual relationship, do not hesitate to adjust your lifestyle. Great sex depends on factors, such as in-depth communication, a sense of sharing your lives together, emotional intimacy and, especially, a solid commitment to your relationship.
If you want improvements in the bedroom, put the rest of your house in order. If you are concerned about having more or better sex, you need first to invest care and attention in building your entire marriage. At the same time, do not underestimate the value of the worktable. Passionate intercourse is not to be reserved only for times when everything else in your place of work or your relationship is perfect in your own way, if not you may never experience the real connection of a marital union. Sexual expression is central and important. Do not trivialize it
It important to pay very close attention to every unforeseen ‘sex-stealers’, such as unrealistic dogmatic schedules, unending work load, physical exhaustion and so on. Whenever you always feel ‘too tired” for lovemaking you might be sending a different message to the other party. Instead establish an integrated front against busyness and reclaim the time you both need to be alone together and also the time you need to have sex.
Whenever you can tell by the vibes your spouse is emitting that sex is on his or her mind, do all you can to allow sensitivity and understanding to take over the part of you that is out-rightly ignoring him or her. Sometimes it may pay you both if you stay on schedule. Whether you are running a business or running a household, fatigue is inevitable.
A word of caution: While scheduled intimacy may work well in reducing tension where your love life is concerned, it can sometimes cause lovemaking to become too predictable. So it must not become the rule of the game. It is advisable to sandwich schedule sex with spontaneous sex, because spontaneity is and can be very refreshing. This will eventually minimize marital tension and maximize intimacy.
I love to conclude by asking if you are worried about your sexual health. If you are experiencing a non-existing libido, or mid-life sexual crisis, loss of erection, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, weak erection, or you just can’t stay long in sex as desired, or you are experiencing problems with sperm cell, shrinking penis or general penis issues, you are not far from total freedom. Just email or give me a call.
QUESTION ONE
What’s the normal age for a first erection? Is it normal for one to constantly have an erection that lasts longer than normal and it hurts at the same time?
Age 1 or under, this is because some boys are born with erections. Ultrasounds show that babies can have them in the womb. A baby’s erections aren’t sexual. Sometime mere stimulation can also cause them; this is common during diaper changes. If you have an erection that lasts over four hours, hurts and doesn’t result from being turned on, you could have a rare condition called priapism. It needs treatment fast. Sometimes some erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs can cause it. But priapism can also result from injuries, medications, diseases, drug use, and even ordinary spider, or giant ant bites. A cold shower or ice packs can help. Light exercise like climbing stairs can help draw blood away from the penis into the rest of the body. But it’s important to see a doctor or sex therapist quickly, though. Untreated, priapism can cause scarring and erection problems that don’t go away.
QUESTION TWO
Is it normal to have erections while you sleep?
Yes. It’s natural to wake up with “morning wood, morning glory, rainfall or morning erection; they all mean the same thing.” Men usually have three to five erections each night, often while they dream. Medical researchers do not know why that happens, but many researchers say such erections help keep the penis healthy. Besides this morning erection is one of the things sex therapists check for whenever a man complains of penis problem, erectile dysfunction, prostrate inflammation, urination infection or sexually transmitted diseases.
QUESTION THREE
I am 20 years old and I do not want to start having sex, but to ease myself off sexually by constant masturbating. Is masturbation as healthy as having sex? Also, will it enhance my total wellbeing?
Not at all! Sex, on the other hand, seems to have lots of health benefits for married guys, married women even against pain – especially for the heart, and also for the prostate in men. Masturbation doesn’t offer any of these. Experts aren’t even so sure of the difference between having sex and doing the job yourself but your body seems to know better, and the body behaves differently under the two conditions. While healthy sex produces wellbeing, masturbation kills good sperm cells. When you have sex within the boundary of marriage, your semen has more and healthier sperm than when you masturbate.
QUESTION FOUR
I am 29 years old and recently I noticed that whenever I go to urinate after the whole act, after say five to seven minutes, my boxers get wet from drops of urine. Growing up this has never happened to me as it only started like three months or so. No matter how hard I shake my penis, it still drops later. Please, I am confused. Imagine getting wet in a public place, and it’s always obvious because it’s not just a drop (it’s always in drops). Please, what can be done? May I also add that I practice Kegel exercise when peeing sometimes and also masturbate frequently; could any or both of these things be the problem?
You have to stop masturbation immediately and see the doctor as fast as you can. There is likely a problem with the end part of your bladder called the pyloric sphincter or the urethra (that is the pipe that take urine from the bladder out whenever you are peeing). If you delay you may be endangering your reproductive health.
