Category: Weekend Treat

  • Ease into your social life as a couple

    When you and your girlfriend move in the same social circle, presenting her ex-boyfriend as your new man requires some delicate maneuvering. ‘The crowd reaction can be a lot more hostile because a pack mentality takes over,’ explains Quinn.

    ‘If you have one outspoken friend who’s vehemently opposed to your new relationship, she can affect how everyone else in the group responds, even if they might have been fine with it.’ You may get a better (less judgmental) reception if you plan small get-togethers with just a few friends at a time.

    ‘Do it at your place, on your turf, and it won’t feel like you’re imposing your new status on the group,’ says Paz. Don’t push and the crowd will likely welcome you back in time. But if you continue to feel frozen out, spend time with friends who support you and seek out some new friends who don’t know your backstory.

    Don’t share relationship details with her

    You may have shared the minutiae of your past relationships with your gal pal, from the weird way the last guy you dated chewed his food to that thing he did with his hips that drove you wild. But when it comes to her ex, silence on matters both sexual and not really is golden.

    ‘Even in the best case scenario where you get your friend’s blessing, tread really lightly on how much you share,’ advises Paz. ‘Even if we’re over someone, we can still be a little territorial and competitive, so something as minor as you getting along well with his mother if she never did can really sting.’

    Be patient

    In situations like these, time really is on your side. Although your relationship with your friend’s ex may start out a little bumpy, if you behave gracefully and honestly and the relationship remains strong, your guy will eventually come to be known as your boyfriend rather than your pal’s ex.

    ‘These things get forgotten as your relationship becomes more serious,’ says Quinn. ‘People will eventually see this wasn’t just some fling, and that you made the right choice.’

     

  • The contract (4) It Happened To Me

    I got frightened by the fury in his eyes for a moment. But I was not ready to back down.

    So, moving closer to him, I said in a cajoling tone:

    “Bennie darling, relax. I know you want me too. We are married so why can’t we sleep together like other couples do?”

    He shook his head.

    “That can’t be. You knew the terms when you agreed to marry me,” he pointed out.

    “That was then. Now I want to be a proper wife, for you to hold me in your arms and make love to me. To have your child, a little boy that will look just like you,” I told him.

    “That’s impossible, Amanda. So, put such foolish thoughts out of your mind and go to your room,” he ordered again.

    “Please, Bennie. Let me stay with you. Just this night,” I pleaded, reaching for his hand.

    But he flung my hand away and picking up his laptop, hurriedly left the room.

    I stood there for a minute, then collapsed on the bed, weeping tears of bitterness and regret.

    When I woke up the following morning, a Saturday, Bennie had left the house. He left a note for me, stating he was traveling out of the country on business and would be away for a while.

    “I will ignore what happened last night and consider it a momentary weakness on your part. But this must not happen again. We have a contract. Learn to stick with it…”

    I flung the note angrily away, feelings of frustration washing over me as I recollected the previous night’s incident. I checked the time on my mobile. Normally, I would be getting ready to go to the shop as Saturdays were always busy days there. But feeling sad and depressed and not in the mood for work, I called my manager at the store telling her I was not well and would be resting at home.

    Later in the afternoon, Max called.

    “Just wanted to see how you are doing,” he stated.

    “I’m cool,” I replied, though I wasn’t feeling fine at all.

    “You don’t sound it. Is there anything the matter?” he queried.

    She sighed.

    “I’m ok. Don’t worry about me. I just feel a little bit under the weather,” I stated.

    “Maybe you need a break from work. To rest and chill out,” he advised.

    I smiled wryly to myself. If only it was that simple, I thought.

    We spoke for a while about his daughter, Lola and before hanging up, I stated:

    “I will like to see you. There’s something I need to discuss with you. Can I come over to your place?”

    “I’m at the office right now. But I will be leaving in another hour or so. I will let you know once I’m through here,” he said.

    “You are welcome to my home,” Max stated when I got to his house some time later. He was alone as his maid had taken Lola to a birthday party of a school-mate.

    “Nice place you have here,” I said as I took the drink he offered me.

    We chatted for a while and I felt so relaxed with him that I decided to open up to him about what was going on in my marriage.

    He remained silent while I spoke, about meeting and working with Bennie and the marriage proposal and all the strings attached to it.

    “I feel bad that you’ve been going through all this all this while,” he said quietly when I finished speaking.

    “You have no idea what I’ve been going through. My husband provides everything for me and I live in the lap of luxury. But I have realised that money is not everything. What’s the point of having money without peace of mind? And I can’t even have a child of my own to love and cherish. Honestly, Max, I’ve realized what a big mistake I made. I regret marrying Bennie. And I ‘m so confused, I don’t know what to do!” I said. I felt so sorry for myself that I broke down and started weeping.

    Max held me close and consoled me.

    “Don’t cry, Amanda. Everything will be alright. I hate to see you so sad,” he said.

    Later, after Lola returned from her outing, I made dinner for everyone.

    “Auntie, this rice tastes so nice. Will you be coming to cook for Daddy and me everyday?” she asked.

    Before I could say anything, Max stated:

    “Auntie is too busy for that. She has her business to run.”

    Seeing the downcast look on her little face, I quickly said:

    “Don’t worry. I can come at weekends to prepare food for you if that’s what you want.”

    “Thank you, Auntie!” she stated happily.

    That day, I did not return home but spent the night at Max’s place. After that day, I knew I could no longer stay with Bennie. Our marriage was a sham and I could no longer continue with such an arrangement, pretending that all was well.

    It’s been nearly two months now since my husband travelled. In that period, Max and I have grown very close. We spend a lot of time together and I sleep over at his place most nights. I don’t care if my husband finds out about my affair with Max as I have made up my mind to leave him.

    I know I will be losing a lot financially if I leave him before the seven year period stated in the contract. I don’t care. Besides, I’ve made a lot of money from my business so my family and I will not suffer.

    Max has promised to marry me once I’m free from Bennie. So, the first thing I will do when he returns from his trip is serve him divorce papers. I want my freedom so I can be with a man who loves me and I can have children with. I can no longer remain in a marriage that exists in name only, just for the sake of money…

    •Concluded

    •Did Amanda do the right thing by ending her marriage to Bennie? Readers reactions are welcome.

    •Send comments/advice to 08023201831(sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com

  • Water is coming out of my private part after I used a contraceptive

    Water is coming out of my private part after I used a contraceptive

    Well done ma, I am H from Kwara State. I was raped when I was 12 years old, since then I never had sex with anybody. I’m 20 now and I have a boyfriend who I had sex with. After the sex I took a pill called Postinor after that I started bleeding. I’m no longer bleeding but water is coming out of my virginal. What is happening to me and what can i do?

    I know that Postinor is one of the most popular contraceptives in this part of the world but since I’m not a medical doctor, I sought for answers for you on your particular needs and below are some explanations about the drug you used without seeking for a doctor’s opinion:

    Misleading language threatening informed consent

    Postinor-2 is being promoted as an “emergency contraceptive” drug – implying that it prevents conception, ie. the union of sperm and ovum, creating a new human life, rather than induces an abortion. This is misleading to women who will be offered the drug. They will be denied facts about the way the drug works. They will not have the opportunity for counseling.

    Women using the morning-after pill will not know whether the pill has prevented a child from being conceived or whether it has caused an abortion.

    How it works

    The morning after pill consists of hormones which must be taken in two doses. The first dose should be taken within 72 hours of sexual intercourse and the second dose should be taken 12 hours after the first one.(5)

    The manufacturer of Postinor-2, the drug company Schering, acknowledges that the morning-after pill “… prevents the implantation of a fertilized ovum in the lining of the uterus”.

    Side effects

    Schering says that “irregular bleeding, breast tenderness and nausea are the most common side-effects” of the morning-after pill. Schering also states that the morning after pill is not suitable for regular use.

    The World Health Organization has warned that:

    •“… repeated use of emergency contraceptive pills in any month can expose women to higher doses of steroids than those recommended during one cycle”;

    •“… there may be a higher percentage of ectopic pregnancies among emergency contraceptive pill failure cases than among a normal pregnant population”; and,

    •morning-after pills “… are not recommended for routine use, because of the higher possibility of failure compared to regular contraceptives and the increased risk of side effects”.

    I wouldn’t know why you’re having watery discharge, but I will strongly advise that you see a doctor as soon as possible. Good luck.

  • ‘Music is  my life and my life is music’

    ‘Music is my life and my life is music’

    Tongues wagged a few years ago when Juju music maestro, Chief Ebenezer Remilekun Fabiyi, better known as Ebenezer Obey, started singing his old songs after becoming an evangelist. The special appearance shows brought back the music legend in his full element. He told SUNDAY OGUNTOLA why the shows have come to stay and how he discovered he was born to sing. The renowned musician, who clocks 71 on April 3, also spoke about retirement and his rumoured plans to remarry.   

    When you started special appearances and performances for your friends some two years ago, a lot of people, especially in the Christian community, became worried that you were probably returning to secular music. How do you react to this?

    People don’t need to be worried. The reason why people should not worry is: number one, God Himself called me. I was not called by man; neither did I call myself. God called me Himself. Two, I am not a baby Christian. I know what I am doing. Everything I do is according to the leading of God. I don’t do anything except God asks me to. I don’t want to satisfy anyone.

    So, I am covered and not exposed to contamination, like people are saying. So, nobody needs to lose sleep over me. I can understand their worries but they need not worry. Four, music is my profession. That is what people know me for.

    When God called me, I dropped it for 15 years. I was only doing ministry. But when the time was ripe, God told me to use special appearances as an outreach because it is drawing more people to God. I was only singing in churches and revival services. Then, I started singing for our partners, sponsoring our crusades and ministry works.

    But at a time, people started wondering why I was only reaching out to fellow Christians. They argued even Jesus wined and dined with sinners. So, why shouldn’t I? So, I prayed about it and felt led to go ahead. So, the special appearance outreach is reaching people for God.

    After all, you find lawyers, judges, doctors and others in ministry. They do not leave what they were doing or their professions but use them as platforms to serve God. So, why not music? This is what people know me with. Obey is music and music is Obey. So, I see nothing wrong in using it to serve God.

    Some people insinuated you probably considered going back to secular music because gospel music is not viable enough. What would you tell such people?

    There is a lot of rubbish people say that you don’t have to react to every time. People just open their mouths because you are a celebrity and say nonsense…

    …They even said you were probably broke and needed money to survive?

    Do I look like someone who is broke? I can never be broke because my treasure is in heaven. It is hidden in the supplies that come from God. When there was famine, God sent Elijah to the brooks. He hid it from others and a bird was supplying him meals. So, my treasure is not here on the earth. But if I need anything, God will provide because there had never been anything I needed that God has not given me. He is a good God and I am serving Him with all my heart. So, my treasure is hidden in the treasury of God and I can never be broke. If it is about eating good meals, riding good cars and wearing good clothes, I am rich already.

    How do you feel at 71?

    I feel great and thank God. As you can see, I am okay and kicking despite my active years on stage.

    Do you consider yourself lucky that you have no health complications at your age despite your frenetic past ?

    I consider myself very, very lucky. The Lord has been so good. Even if I have challenges, they are not as overwhelming as you will think. My mind is sound and my health is unfailing. I am not alone at all. I don’t feel alone. I am not alone.

    What regrets do you have?

    I don’t have any regrets at all. God has been more than gracious to me.

    No unfulfilled childhood dreams at all?

    There is none at all. I have always wanted to be a musician and everyone around me knew about it. I did not want to be anything else but a musician. So, I am fulfilled and my dreams have come true. When my mates were dreaming of being doctors and engineers, I simply wanted to be a musician and nothing more. I started my band in 1957 while still in school.

    How did it all start for you?

    My father and mother were from Abeokuta. I was born in Idogo in Yewa South where I grew up. Everything about Obey started there. My mother said I was very active in the choir. My mother wanted me to be a medical doctor or a lawyer. She never thought music could feed anyone, let alone make one successful. She did not want her son to be a musician. One day, after many months of disagreements with her, I asked why. She said musicians would always smoke, drink and womanise. I looked at her in the face and said, “I will go into music and I promise I will be a good example. I will not do all of those things.”

    And she believed you?

    Of course, she did. Since that day, she never stopped me again. But before then, it was a tug of war. She was a good disciplinarian. She would lit her lantern and sneak into my rehearsals. She would grab my hands and take me out of the rehearsals. She would talk to me for hours on how musicians were never-do-well. Amazingly, my band boys would start drumming to invite me and she would ask me if I would go again. Of course, I would and go inside. Trust me, I would seek for opportunity for her to sleep and sneak out for the rehearsals despite her admonitions.

    So you were head-clear music was your calling?

    Yes, I was. I left school at Secondary Modern level simply because of music. I just knew that was what I was born to do.

    Was it a dream, revelation or something that showed you this?

    I can’t say anything showed me. I just had that conviction that I was a future star and music was my path. I loved music and it was my passion. I thank God my mother saw my glory before she died. She came to realise music was my calling and was grateful I followed my instincts.

    If your mum had her way, where would you have been?

    I probably would have been a frustrated lawyer or an unfulfilled doctor. But for sure, you wouldn’t have heard of Obey. The music in me would have died unsung. But I don’t blame her. She only wanted the best for her son and didn’t see how music could make that happen. She was just being a loving, kind mother. There were no successful musicians to point to then. So, she was insisting I should go to school but I knew I was cut out for music.

    Did you know music was going to take you this far?

    I did not know. There was no way I would have known. When the success started coming, I was stunned. But I kept my head cool and continued with my passion.

    If you were to ask God for just one more thing, what would it be?

    Father, please let me do Your will. Let me spend the remaining days of my life doing Your will. Let Your will be done in my life.

    What would you consider the breakthrough point in your career?

    That was when I was looking for a recording company. In those days, there was no demo or anything to record your music. You must find your way to the studio of a recording company. I trekked all the way from Mushin to Abibu Oki Street in Lagos to get a recording deal. I started from Mushin to Idi Oro, to Alakara, to Moshalashi, Yaba then found my way to Sabo, Alagomeji, Post Office, Oyingbo. I then crossed to Iddo at the Railway Terminus and used the pedestrian bridge to Carter. I landed at Idumota and found my way to Abibu Oki. When I got to the gate, the gateman stopped me. He said I would not go in. I insisted and he said I had sugar-coated tongue and allowed me in. I got to the receptionist and told her I was a future star and wanted to be recorded. She said the artiste manager was on leave and I should come back in six weeks. I started telling her I am a future star. We dragged it on and on. Then, the MD suddenly phoned on the intercom and asked, “What is all the noise about?”

    She explained I was shouting I was a future star and would not go. The man said she should send me in. The moment I got to his office, I just went flat prostrating. I forgot he was a white man. He listened to me and I said I was a future star. “Please, don’t pay me sir. Just record me and you can pay later when you have made all the money,” I told him. He just looked at me. He called one Yoruba man and said I should be given a try, that I sounded confident. Immediately, the man came, I switched over to Yoruba and kept telling the man I was a future man. That was how I got recorded and the rest is history.

    Is it true you were always fighting with KSA in those days in the secular music world?

    No, there was never a fight. KSA is a good friend and we remain close.

    There were stories you two arranged fights to sell albums?

    There was nothing like that. We never fought. People were only looking for troubles where there were none. I think our fans started the whole thing. They just imagined we were fighting because they were fighting who was the best among themselves

    You have been at music for over 50 years. People will like to know how much of music is left in Commander Ebenezer Obey.

    The whole of my being is music. All I know is music. I don’t know anything else but music.

    You still write and produce songs?

    Of course, I do. I still write songs, perform live and compose. I record special albums for people. I record songs. I am still very active in the industry because there is still so much music within me. The world has not heard the last or best song from me yet.

    How much are you reaching out to the younger generation in the music industry?

    Some of them are re-recording my song. They come to me and I give them my blessings. I do it free of charge to them to re-produce my songs. They have approvals as many times as they request.

    What about collaborations?

    Well, I don’t have to appear with them. They ask to re-produce my songs and they get approvals without much ado.

    Are you thinking of retirement any soon?

    In life, the path and destination of man belong to God. I will be 71 but my life is in God’s hands. Everything I do is determined by Him. So, I cannot talk of tomorrow now because Jesus asks us not to be anxious. I will keep doing what I should and lean on Him. Whenever He says I should step aside, I will gladly do. So, I leave everything in His hands.

    Do you feel appreciated and celebrated enough as a legend by Nigeria?

    Let me put it this way. Even though that is how it looks, I appreciate the way I am celebrated. The doors are now opening and the nation is appreciative. I cannot ask for more because God and this nation have been good to me.

    Your wife of several years died in 2011. There is no doubt you miss her a lot

    Of course, I do. You can see I am sitting right opposite her portrait. I see her every day when I sit here. That shows how much I miss her. But as a child of God, I know He brought us here and will take us when He decides. I miss her but the grace of God is sufficient.

    Out there, people are saying you might re-marry…

    … Well, I don’t have anything to tell them. Right now, I am not married. But let’s wait and see what will happen.

    Your next concert is a joint live performance with the Apola King. Can you talk briefly about it?

    It is part of the Africa Mission Conference. The truth is, evangelism and mission need awareness. Everyone needs to know how to support and get involved. So, that is why I am supporting the ministry of Rev Idowu Animasaun, who God gave the vision. He started many years ago in Badeku. So, I am joining him for the concert to unveil evangelism and mission. The concert will unveil how the early missionaries started and broke the grounds. There will be opportunities for people to understand missions and ask questions. So, it will be a good time in God’s presence.

    When was the last time you performed with Rev. Animasaun?

    Oh, that must have been in the 60s and 70s. We were into secular music then. He was known as the Apola King then. So, I am supporting him so that the ministry can attract more support. Since he received the ministry, he never hid it; he told everyone about it and what he has been doing is quite remarkable. So, we would be doing a bit of the oldies because there is nothing wrong with the music then. All the beautiful songs I have sung before when they request, I will give them. We are using proceeds from the concert to support mission works through Rev. Animasaun’s ministry.

  • Now that we are comfortable, people are saying my father used other people’s luck

    Good evening Aunty Adeola my name is Stephanie. I am 18yrs old.

    Please I don’t want this published in your column. I and my family stayed in a compound for more than 15 years. I and my elder sister were out of school for more than 2 years due to financial problem. My dad is a nice man who helps people in simple way he can. Now God has made a breakthrough for us and we are being accused of using people’s glories. Nobody answers our greetings and nobody wants to associate with us, and the people behind all these stories are those my father has helped.

    Law 10 in the book, 48 Laws of Power is – Infection: Avoid the unhappy and unlucky.

    It goes on to say, ‘You can die from someone else’s misery—emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

    That is that. We’ve all met them and we all have them. We all have people who drain you of energy instead of enriching us, the people who pull us down instead of pushing us up, the people who require more than they can provide; the negative, wining, needy, manipulative people who can turn a happy day into a living hell.

    They are toxic people. One thing is that no matter how good our intentions are in general, most of us have problems with dealing effectively with this kind of people.

    The good news is that there are effective ways to deal with toxic people.

    1. Avoid them: The best way to deal with toxic people is to not deal with them at all; to avoid them. In some cases it may not be an option, but more often than not, it is.

    It is also common to believe you can get a toxic person to change while interacting with them. But, unless you are a professional, you will not get them to change and trying it simply is not worth it.

    2. Set firm boundaries: Toxic people will often use you, one way or another. They may complain to you all the time while you listen hopelessly (?), or they may constantly get you to get them out of trouble. This is where boundaries come in. Boundaries are reflections of what you are and are not willing to do. Setting firm boundaries means not allowing toxic people to use you in any of these ways. It means refusing to listen to them complain, refusing to get them out of trouble. When you have firm boundaries, there is basically nothing bad any person can do to you.

    3. Get over your guilt: Most toxic people are very skilled at making others feel guilty when they don’t do what they want. This makes it particularly hard to set and maintain firm boundaries with them. But, there is a way out of this dilemma: getting rid of your guilt. It is your own guilt which toxic people use to break down your boundaries. When you can set and maintain boundaries with them without feeling guilty, the weapon they have against you is gone. Realize that your guilt is irrational, pointless, and it is used against you by toxic people. This is the best way to get over it.

    4. Do not defend yourself: When you avoid toxic people and you set boundaries with them, they frequently resort to accusing you, complaining and playing the victim in an attempt to get you to change your behavior.

    One of the worst things you can do when this happens is to defend yourself. It is usually a futile action and it only keeps an immature dialogue going which eventually helps the toxic person get what they want. You won’t get anywhere with them by defending yourself and your actions.

    Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere. And they tend to attach themselves to those persons who are kind and have the most to offer. When you have the people skills to deal effectively with toxic people, you have the option to respond to their attaching in the best ways for you.

  • As the Garden City turns 100…

    This year will mark the centenary of the city of Port-Harcourt. Thus, in terms of seniority, the city is older than the contraption called Nigeria which will ‘mark’ its own 100 years of amalgamation next year. Many commentators have written about the propriety of celebrating Nigeria’s centenary. What is there to celebrate about the forceful union of the Southern and Northern parts of the country by British colonialists purely for administrative purposes without considering the wishes and desires of the indigenes of the land, they have wondered. They might have a point considering some of the problems this forced ‘marriage’ have caused which we are still battling with nearly a hundred years after it was consummated.

    Anyway, this piece is not about Lord Lugard’s creation that has become a problem to its people and the world at large. This is about a lovely city which was born out of necessity and has today become something those who conceived it can be proud of. A little background info and history will not go amiss here.

    Unlike most other major towns and cities in the country that developed from hamlets and villages founded by the local indigenous population, Port-Harcourt was a purpose-built creation of the then British colonial administration in the early part of the 20th century.

    After coal was discovered in Enugu in 1909, the administration then needed a port to export the product to Europe. Diobu or Iguocha, an area originally inhabited by the Ikwerre people, was chosen and by 1913, construction of a port town began. Seeking a more cosmopolitan name for the new town, Lord Lugard, the then Governor-General of Nigeria renamed it Port Harcourt in 1913, after Lewis Vernon Harcourt the then Secretary of State for the Colonies.

    From such small beginnings, Port-Harcourt has today grown into one of the most vibrant and bustling cities in the country. I spent some of my childhood and formative years in the city and I can tell you it was one of the best places in the country to grow up in. Back then, it was a peaceful, quiet and neat place full of trees and other greenery hence the nickname, ‘Garden city’.

    Today, the city has lost some of its innocence and it’s suffering from a malaise afflicting many major cities and towns in the country: overcrowding and overstretched infrastructure. Due to population explosion and perhaps, poor planning most of the roads are a motorist’s nightmare because of the heavy traffic jams which is nearly at par with that of Lagos. Housing too is over stretched thus making accommodation expensive and not for the poor.

    The administration of Governor Chibuike Amaechi, in trying to resolve some of these problems announced plans in 2009 for the creation of a new city to be called the Greater Port-Harcourt City. It’s a laudable plan which when implemented, will help decongest the city centre and improve the quality of life of the residents.

    Indeed, this is an idea that needs to be emulated by other states particularly heavily populated ones like Lagos. Lagos is long overdue for decongestion because of its huge population which has placed enormous strain on the available infrastructure. Thus, the creation of satellite towns that will reduce pressure on the city is something that needs to be considered as a matter of urgency as the population keeps growing each day.

    In its 100 years of existence, the city of Port-Harcourt has witnessed steady growth from a small colonial port to a bustling, commercial centre and the hub of the nation’s vital oil industry. It is one centenary celebration that a lot of people like me who have fond memories of the city will not begrudge. This is unlike that of Nigeria’s centenary which the Federal Government is planning to mark in a big way. To me, it’s a waste of funds and an exercise in futility. The government should focus on improving the lot of Nigerians rather than celebrating colonialism and the subjugation of our forefathers who fell to the British military might.

    Or it could build new towns and cities for with vision and proper planning, the country would have had more purpose-built cities like PH and Abuja. But that dream has been impossible due to the rapacious looting of public funds by those in positions of authority and their cohorts who cart away our resources to Europe and the U.S and lately Dubai and Asia-the newest destinations for the country’s looters and money-launderers.

  • The contract (3)

    “So you are married! But you don’t look it,” he stated, his eyes going over the blue T-shirt and skinny jeans I had on.

    I found his comment amusing.

    “So, how do married women look?” I asked him.

    “Well, they look stressed and harassed most of the time, especially the ones with kids. You look cool and calm,” he said in an admiring tone. We chatted for a while before he left.

    To me, he was just a customer I had to be polite to for the sake of business, but I did not know I had made quite an impression on him.

    The following week, he called me on the store’s landline.

    “What gift are you getting for your sister this time?” I queried after he had introduced himself and remembering what he had come for the last time.

    He laughed.

    “No gift this time,” he stated. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

    “Is that so?” I noted, adding: “Don’t you have anything better to do than be calling to just hear someone’s voice?”

    “You are right. I’m on leave so I have a lot of leisure time right now,” he explained.

    “Good for you. But not everyone is so lucky. I’m a bit busy at the moment as there are a lot of customers to attend to. So, bye,” I stated and tried to hang up.

    “Hey, hold on a minute. I’ll be in your neighbourhood later in the day. I was wondering if I could take you out for lunch or something,” he quickly stated.

    “Well, Mr Max, thanks for the offer but as I said I’m busy. Besides I don’t do lunches with strangers. Have a nice day,” and I dropped the phone, a bit annoyed. Thinking he was one of those young men who liked to date married women for monetary gains, I dismissed him from my mind. Though, he called several times after that day, I refused to speak with him.

    About a month later, I went to the bank to transfer some money to one of my suppliers abroad. It was a large sum of money and I was directed to one of the managers to help with the transaction.

    I opened the door to the manager’s office and sitting behind the table was Max!

    “What are you doing here?” I queried, surprised to see him.

    He looked shocked to see me too.

    “I work here,” he stated, offering me a seat.

    “I didn’t know you worked in this bank. I come here often,” I said.

    “I was transferred to this branch after my leave. Besides you never gave me a chance to get to know me,” he said a bit accusingly.

    “So, what can I do for you, Madam?” he asked. I told him what I wanted and he quickly attended to me.

    Before leaving, I said:

    “I’m sorry about the abrupt way I treated you the other day. I thought you…”

    “I know. That I was one of these hustlers in town,” and he laughed.

    I smiled, glad that he had taken it in good faith.

    He called a few days later and we began to speak regularly on phone. I got to know a bit about him. He had been married but his wife had died in a car accident two years before, leaving behind a little girl of four.

    “My mother and sister help look after her as I’m too busy with work,” he stated. I felt sorry for him, that he had to lose his wife so young.

    At this stage, Max and I were just good friends. I grew to like him with time as he was such an amiable and likeable person. I remembered the arrangement I had with my husband though and tried to keep things platonic between us. I was not ready to lose everything just for a fling.

    Things however changed some months later. It was a Saturday morning and I was in the store when Max walked in with a little girl in tow. It was Lola, his daughter.

    “This is Aunty Amanda. Greet her,” he said.

    “Good morning, Aunty,” she said, looking up at me with her big, innocent eyes.

    “Hi, Lola!” I greeted, bending down to hold her.

    “She’s so cute,” I said.

    “Yes. She must have taken after her mother,” he stated, smiling.

    “You are not bad looking yourself,” I said and we both laughed.

    He explained that he wanted to spend some time with Lola as it was his day off.

    “I had told her about you and she insisted on meeting you and inviting you to join us on the outing,” he said. I initially wanted to turn him down but seeing the little motherless child touched my heart and I agreed to the date.

    Max drove us to a theme park in town. It had lots of games for children and Lola ran around, playing excitedly on some of them. Later, I watched as Max pushed her on a swing and seeing the closeness and love between father and daughter affected me strongly. Call it the maternal instinct, but at that moment, I felt this strong urge to have a child of my own, a little girl like Lola that I will dress in pretty clothes, plait her hair and do other things that a caring mother did.

    For one of the few times, I felt sad that I did not have a normal marriage with my husband. ‘How wonderful it would have been to have a couple of kids that we could take to places like this, have fun together as a family,’ I thought glumly.

    “So, how’s your husband?” Max asked sometime later as we had lunch at a nearby eatery.

    “He’s fine. He’s out of the country right now on business,” I stated.

    “It looks as if he travels a lot. So, how do you cope in his absence?” he said.

    I shrugged.

    “I’m used to it. Besides, I have my own business to run so I’m quite busy as well,” I explained, with a forced smile.

    He looked keenly at me for a while but said nothing.

    Days after the outing, I still could not shake off that broody feeling, that strong desire to have my own baby. I knew my arrangement with my husband did not permit that but I kept thinking, what if it happened by accident? Perhaps, we both got drunk, slept together and I got pregnant? Will he ask me to get rid of the baby?

    I thought about this a lot until it evolved into a plan. My intention was to seduce my husband and hopefully conceive.

    So, on the night of his return from his trip, I showered and put on one of my sexy nighties, a short pink one with thin straps.

    My husband was sitting in bed, working on his laptop when I entered his room. He looked up in surprise when he saw me.

    “I thought you were asleep. Is there anything you want?” he asked.

    “Yes. You. I want my husband.” I slipped the straps of the gown over my arms and it slithered down on the floor. I stood naked, waiting. But instead of desire, the only reaction I got from him was anger.

    He jumped up then from the bed, his eyes flashing with irritation.

    “Amanda! What do you think you are doing? Get hold of yourself! And go to your room. Now!” he ordered, fuming…

    •To be continued

    •Watch out for the concluding part of Amanda’s story next Saturday!

    •Send comments/advice to 08023201831(sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com

  • How can I save my relationship with my hot temper?

    How can I save my relationship with my hot temper?

    Good evening, I am a 20-year-old student of English and Literary Studies, (200Level). I want my relationship to last for me. My guy is 27, loving and caring. My problem is that I’m hot-tempered. Please tell me what to do to stop it. I don’t want to lose him. My name is Kenny from Uyo.

    There are definite triggers that may cause you to lose your temper – stress, anxiety, demanding workloads, hectic lifestyles, family, social and financial responsibilities and unrealistic expectations of people. If someone constantly calls you names, bullies, torments or humiliates you, this is bound to cause a reaction.

    Some people have a shorter temper than others and often become easily provoked and enraged. When it hampers your personal relationships with friends and family, leads to violence, creates trouble in your professional life and people fear your temperamental nature, you need help.

    The next time you get angry, try to breathe calmly and slowly. Science proves that breathing is directly related to anger. If you breathe faster, your blood pressure increases which results in anger. On the other hand, if you breathe slowly and calmly, the body temperature becomes neutral and you are able to control yourself in that situation.

    For the long run, deep breathing meditations benefit in many ways. Like mentioned above, it helps you form thoughts in your mind. Thoughts arise, and dissolve. There are three kinds of thoughts you can expect: Positive, Negative, and Neutral. Your mind helps you choose the best one for you since your breathing is in control. Breathing meditations actually make you realize that the choice, you thought you didn’t have when you were angry and did something you regret, is now available to you.

    Deep breathing increases a man’s will power, to bring self-control over himself, to bring him the strength to make the right choice.

  • My girlfriend is a two-timing, lying person, yet I want her in my life

    My girlfriend is a two-timing, lying person, yet I want her in my life

    Dear ma, my girlfriend whom I have been dating for the past three years broke up with me early this year. When I insisted that she should tell me the reason she lied to me that her family is not in support of the relationship, which I found out is not true. She also told a lot of lies against me to her friend which she said were her reasons for breaking up with me. One of the reasons she gave was that I’m not capable of taking care of a woman, that if she gets married to me when things are tough I would send her back to her parents because I once asked her when I was duped to get some money from her mum so that I could fend for myself. The most unfortunate thing is that this girl is not schooling at the moment she was once in school but expelled because of exam malpractices and when it happened she lied to me that someone implicated her which I later found out to be a lie. I still forgave her because of the love I had for her. I later on sought admission for her so that she would go back to school through my uncle but she didn’t meet up with the university’s cutoff marks for the course she was applying for. It was during that time that we broke up. Ma, sorry to say that this girl wasn’t sincere to me when we were dating. She was dating her two of her former boyfriends whom she dated before me, yet I was patient with her and I always talk to her in a calm voice so that she will understand that what she was doing is not right till when we finally broke up. It hurts me so bad that after showing her so much love we still broke up. Recently she called and apologised to me about what happened and she confessed that she wasn’t sincere to me though I was sincere with her and I showed her real love. She said I’m the kind of man that she would ever wish to be with but it is not possible. When I asked her the reason why she said that, she has been posting me till today. Nowadays she always calls me and we talk and crack some jokes but inside me I still love her and I want her back to me but I don’t want to openly tell her that she should come back to me. Now what I should I do? I need your advice please. – Danaka.

    Dear Danaka,

    We all know what we see in the people we love, so I cannot question you for loving somebody who has done everything in this world to dishonour you. She has lied against you, she has cheated and she continues to make you feel like a fool, yet you love her and want her back after she left you. It’s obvious that with her, you have nothing like pride; just emotions, so set your shyness aside and tell her you want her back.

    One thing I’ll like you to know is that if she comes back to you without you giving her the chance to be penitent, she will continue to sleep with other men without feeling guilty; after all, you knew about her hot pants and still asked her to come back. Don’t expect her to go back to school if she’s not ready and if and when she does go back, don’t expect her to be clean. If she’s set in her ways, you may just have to put up with her the way she is since you have been blinded by love.

    But if I were you, I’d ignore her for a while and let her realise her mistakes and turn a new leaf. Love is worth waiting for when you’re sure it will come to you without much complications.

  • My regret: ….not believing God as much as I ought to

    My regret: ….not believing God as much as I ought to

    Since she sprang into national consciousness three and a half decades ago, Bishop Bola Odeleke’s path has been laced with fame, controversy, miracles of healing and great bravado. Before becoming a preacher of the word of God, youthful Bola Odeleke had some measure of popularity as a businesswoman who operated a boutique and happily married to a general in the Nigerian Army.

    However, growing up, brought with it, a particular consciousness that her life would be a tool in God’s hands, to bring peace and salvation to mankind. In those days, it was unheard of to find a woman climbing the pulpit in Jesus name to preach. But with God’s assurance, Bola Odeleke fought the conventional and eventually emerged the First African Lady Bishop.

    Tragedy struck early in her marriage when she lost her husband, Brigadier General Lasun Odeleke to a motor accident. He was a member of the then Provincial Ruling Council, during the regime of President Ibrahim Babangida. It slowed her down but she now admits, she weathered the storm and emerged stronger. The proponent of Agbara Olorun Kiibati (the power of God never fails), celebrated recently and spoke to Paul Ukpabio.

    You just celebrated your church’s 30th anniversary how has the journey been so far?

    The 30th anniversary celebration was about the year I entered Okota, an outskirt of Lagos, with my ministry: Though I had been in Christian ministry since 1974. That means I will be celebrating my 4o years in the ministry next year. In

    February 1983, God sent me here. This is the first church I established in my ministry but before then, I had established many church branches for Christ Apostolic church. So we felt we needed to celebrate God’s grace for our existence. When I got here, we were the only thing you saw around here. No other structure was in sight except one went further inside to Ago junction where the land-sellers location was.

    In the entire Okota, we met only one church here and that was Foursquare Church. Now there are over 3000 churches all around Okota by the grace of God. This spot that we are located was a groove for masquerades. I still recall all the fetish things that we found and dug out of the ground, when we got here.

    I used to go on all the road paths of Okota and pray over them. As you can see today, those road paths are now major roads to a big town, which Okota has now become. We also did massive radio publicity to open up the town. Whenever I was on radio or television, I used to clarify to listeners, the difference between, Ojota and Okota. So we indeed attracted a lot of people down here. I bought 3 acres of land for N48,000, but today, one plot is going for N30m on the major road, while inside the town it goes for N20m. So things have changed.

    Can you compare what the ministry looks like now to the period when you set out?

    It is better now. I started at Christ Apostolic Church where I received Christ. God called me in 1974 as Lady Evangelist because the church was not ordaining women. I was there for almost 18 years. God used me to do a lot of remarkable things there especially in the area of establishing new church branches and revival crusades.

    But a time came, when the church started a revolution. The church came up with ten laws, with one of the laws being that a woman cannot lead a church. Meanwhile, I had been leading churches since 18 years. So there was a problem, how was I going to drop all that? Was I going to turn to a floor member, more so, when I knew my calling? I decided, that the laws were man-made, that I had to follow God instead of man.

    I left. However, I was the only one that was given a peace letter when I decided to leave and I guess that is why I can still preach in CAC today. They told me “let the peace of God go with you.” That was when I started the Power Pentecostal Church Ministry. During the period I was in CAC, I was famous because of what God was doing through me. People were seeing God in me and not the church that I belonged to. If it had been my power, when I changed church, it would have affected me. But the power was of God.

    But you were into business before you started preaching God’s word

    Yes, but when I was selling clothes, I was not much known. The fame I got was because of God that I carried in me. I could not heal headache on my own. It was the spirit of God that was performing miracles through me; that also built the new church that I founded. I was in Umuahia last week for a crusade, the lame worked, the blind see, and many marveled. This is the power of God. It has nothing to do with me as a person. I preach the gospel of peace, healing and deliverance. And people are receiving these.

    What have been the challenges that you have been facing?

    I have been my own challenge. Most of the time, I doubt God! I sometimes do not believe as much as I should. When God does a marvelous thing, I just stop and wonder about such power. But as I keep growing, I get to know more and more about God’s ways and His acts. The way God started with me was strong. I was just 23 when God called me into the ministry. I had not even found my feet when God began using me beyond my imaginations.

    Sometimes then, God used to tell me, don’t do that! The next thing would be that I question God on why I should not do it. I sometimes went ahead and did such things and fingers got burnt. But the good thing was that, when I returned to Him, He was always there, waiting for me.

    As a matter of fact, He would even be the one that pulled me back to Him as if nothing had happened. That is why I can say that, God has been very good to me, despite everything. When my husband died, my first child was merely 16, but thanks God today; she has her own home and children. All my children are all okay and having their own families. God comforted me when I had the challenge of losing my husband early in life, He took care of everything. I thank God for men and women who God used to help me get to where I am today. Right now, I have no challenge that is bigger than God.

    How did you receive your calling?

    My calling was a great miracle in itself. My husband and I received Christ in 1974, but before then, God had been talking to me about my ministry. During those days, any prophet that came round to our home, used to say to me that they see me holding a bible and bell. I used to question them which bible? Don’t you see my boutique? However, I was in the habit of reserving gifts for ministers of God who stopped by.

    So to me, that was enough God’s work that I was already doing! But in 1973, the spiritual pressure on me to go into the ministry became very obvious. That year the Lord asked me to observe a fast for three days. I was perturbed that, why does God want me to die food denial. I did not do it until the October of that year. I felt God touched me, like somebody pushed me to do it.

    After the fast, God started showing me different things. As a matter of fact, most of the things that are manifesting in my ministry even till date, are things that God showed me in those three days. When I took a nap, I went into vision or trance. When I sat or knelt to pray, prophecy poured out. On the night of the second day of my marathon prayer, I was sitting outside our compound, in Akure, reading the scripture. My husband was in Kaduna where he had just been posted.

    All of a sudden, I felt something drop on my forehead, I thought it was an insect, so I rushed to brush it away, but alas, it was oil! I was shocked. Where could that had come from, I asked myself. I was not sitting under a tree, I reasoned. So where could it have dropped from?

    I touched my head and I noticed that oil had soaked my head. I became frightened and started to tremble. I ran quickly to see Pastor Obadare, but was told that he had gone to Lagos for a crusade. I went to meet the president of CAC then, being an elderly man, he understood immediately. I was trying to describe to him the experience, and even told him to touch my head. He simply said that they already knew, that God told Pastor Babalola and them, that He will bring up a woman, and anoint the woman Himself. He assured me that I should not panic that nothing is wrong with me, that it is an anointing from heaven. He suddenly began to pray for me and before I knew it, he busted into prophecies and ecstatic prayers. When he was through, he told me to continue with my fasting, that I should listen to God, that whatever He tells me to do, I should do it.

    So what happened after?

    I went back home and in the night about 5am, I saw the door of my room open. Immediately what came to my mind was that armed robbers had come into the house. I quickly put my children’s legs under me for protection. But as the door opened further, there was this strange light that beamed into the room. My cloth became transparent I could see the person coming in. I could not see the down part or the upper part of the person. But I knew it was somebody that is tall. He came in and said peace to me. He told me that he had come to confirm to me the prophecies that I had been receiving. He prayed for me and gave me a bible. As he was giving it to me, the bible entered into me and I saw a sign of nail in my palm representing Jesus. He gave me a bottle of water, and that is why I bless water for people. He also gave me a ringing bell. He told me that any where I ring bell or stand to shout Jesus, people will gather and I will win souls unto Christ. He told

    me that these are the signs; that I should go out there and preach salvation message: That I should tell people what He did and that He is coming back. He told me that when I’m doing all these things, that miracles will happen. When he finished the prayers, and left, my clothes became normal.

    But before he left, he told me that for me to know that all what he had told me is true, that I should to Oke Igbala Itura, Pastor Obadare’s church, that a mad woman is tied down there, that I should go and meet her, and loose her. As soon as I remembered, I stood up and headed there in outright curiosity. I did not even wait for my driver; I jumped into the car and drove away. Behold, as I packed the car, I saw the woman tied down. I walked towards her, but Pastor Owoeye who was the pastor in charge of the parish, saw me and shouted, trying to warn me against going there, that the woman is dangerous. They ran towards me, but before they could get to me, I was already with the mad woman. I laid my hands on the woman and said be healed in Jesus name, and right there, she became healed.

    It was a big story. The woman upon realizing herself asked where she was. The pastor and the other people had reached me then and they all marveled at the difference in the mad woman’s sudden change. That was when I told them how God asked me to come to loosen the woman. They all started looking at me like I was an angel. They told me that in truth, God has called me because nobody could go near that woman. She used to break the chains that were used to tie her down. That same woman is today a pastor. That was the day that I started to believe that God had given me a ministry. It was also during that 3 day fast that I saw it that I would one day, become a Bishop, and that I will be praying even for foreigners in foreign lands as it is happening today.

    But how did your husband receive all these?

    I went to Kaduna to tell my husband. He believed because we were friends, we were childhood friends in Ibadan. We believed so much in each other. However, we didn’t know what to do, we had to consult with spiritual superiors. We therefore went to The General Evangelist of CAC. We met him and I began to relate my experience. He was busy and appearing not to be listening. At a point, God told me to stop talking. He turned to my husband and asked him to mention any woman who was doing such things. But truly, there was no woman doing such things at that time. He instructed him to take me home, to hold and keep his wife of five years, that he should not let me do these things; else pastors will take his wife away. The man rubbished the whole thing and we left. But as we were going, God told me not to listen to him, that He has already shown me a sign to show that He is the one that has called me.

    The next day however, at 6am, we heard a knock on the door and it was the man. He was shouting “please woman of God, you are called!” His mouth had bent to one side. So I told him, “but you said I am not called?” He replied, “No, you are called, I was beaten terribly all through the night. I was even asked, who told me that you were not called,” he said. He told us further, that he was told that his own calling is not even as high as my own. That made me even more afraid because the next thing was that the man asked me to pray for him and I did. His bent mouth straightened back to normal. It was amazing. This led to a crusade in Kaduna and there were many miracles and healing. Miracles started coming even through my blessing of water for people. I don’t keep water, people bring their water. Yesterday someone with stroke was brought with water, I prayed on it and the person is now walking. The person is even a pastor.

    Challenge of being the first woman in the ministry

    At that time nobody believed in a woman coming out to do ministry work. But it was only miracle that made people to start believing. It was God that started proving to them one after the other, that yes she is a woman but He has called me to the ministry. There was a time I decided to go to the bible college because I wanted to know more about the word of God and His ways: Though at night God was revealing lots of things to me. During the day too, I used to drift into trance.

    So in 1975, I went to Baptist Seminary in Ogbomosho to get enrolled for studies. The principal told me outright that I am a woman. That my place is in the kitchen I told him that God called me but he replied that I should go and meet the God. Tears rushed that my cheeks. I implored him that he should allow me to buy my own table and chair and sit at the verandah just t be listening. That was when he told me to leave. But before I left, I stood at the middle of the compound, lifted up my eyes and asked God to teach me His word by himself. I told God my desire to know His word and also my desire to have a bible college like that, to teach people especially the women. With anger, I left the place. In 1978 and for three years from that day, God taught me the bible Himself. Those who wrote the books of the bible like Moses, Luke, all came to teach me.

    When I went back to Ogbomosho to do a crusade, the man came there. He asked me if I still remember him. “Of course I do, I can’t forget you, I replied.” He said he was sorry that at that time he did not understand but he now understood.

    God makes way for me even till now. When I want to break into new grounds, God sends somebody to me and it will be done. When it was time for me to go to South Africa for evangelism, somebody came from there to meet me here. Same thing when I was to break into America, a woman came all the way from there here, to meet me. That was in 1988. Someone introduced her to me, she saw what was going on here, and then invited me over. I went there and I was treated like a queen because they saw what I was doing here. I don’t beg for doors to open, when I get near the door, it opens. I have travelled to several countries. London, America, Italy, Amsterdam, I have preached in Singapore, Malaysia, South Africa, Kenya, Cotonou, even in Egypt. When my children opened the Face book page for me, more connections poured in. it is God.

    As a Lady Bishop, what is your life style like?

    I am a social person, but I do not go out. When I do, it means I’m going there to preach. People come to see me and I give God the glory for that.

    How did you hit the limelight?

    The media shot me into fame through a miracle that came through me. When we were in Yaba, Lagos Mainland, I was still at CAC then. One evening, a woman that had been pregnant for over 38 years, gave birth on the crusade ground to something that looked like a monkey. As it happened, a ‘Daily Times’ reporter who was covering something else in the area, heard the pandemonium from the crusade ground and checked it out. He took the picture of the monkey-like creature and it was on front page of the paper the next day, and that was how I got to limelight. Even how I got to preaching on television, was like that. I was invited to an interview but ended up being given space on television to be preaching regularly. So it is usually God at work for me. The goodwill of God is always at work for me.

    What material things has success in ministry given you?

    I have enjoyed a lot in my private life. God has given me people. Everything I have is gifts from people: Happy people who love me from all around the world. The day you meet me, you fall in love with me and the next thing is that you are asking me, what can I do for you? That is not limited to us ‘blacks’ alone; the ‘Whites’ love me too.

    What keeps you going?

    I enjoy my peace of mind. I do not worry over anything. People tell me they can’t sleep. But I am not like that; I sleep and sleep when it is time for me to sleep. I pray and go to sleep. I enjoy myself on my IPAD, my free time I use it counseling people on the internet.

    What is your view on women, gold, trinkets and trouser wearing to church?

    I thank God that I am a woman, the first African Lady Bishop. I am an authority in my field; I have written books on aspects of Christianity, so I can say that, they should leave my women alone! Please just take us as we are. Let people concentrate on their own lives and stop petty worries about what women wear. That is because, whatever you wear, has nothing to do with your soul. Jesus came to save souls and not trouser or earrings. He came to save souls and if your soul is saved and you love God, that love makes you want to wear anything.

    I must tell you that there is joy that belongs to a redeemer in Christ and with that joy; you want to adorn the image of God in you. That is what female dressing is all about. Female dressing is not about attracting opposite sex. A mad woman is attractive to the opposite sex. So it is not until you are adorned that you become attractive to the opposite sex: So female adornment is about rejoicing in you. A woman looks at the mirror and she is happy. We look in the mirror and see our beauty and we say ha father, I thank you for this beautiful image that you have given me. It has nothing to do with salvation.

    People who criticize female dressing give me the impression that they don’t know the bible. Eve was to make Adam happy for eve to be eve. Adam didn’t know that eve was inside of him until God brought her out. And Adam was surprised that this kind of beauty was inside of him and called her a ‘woman.’ And woman means ‘mother of all living’ that is what it means in Hebrew. Without a woman there is no production. When a man has trouble, where does he go, but to his woman! There is a special place for a woman so let no one rubbish them. When a man sees a woman that is well dressed, he is happy except he is deceiving himself. If your woman is not dressing well, it’s likely there is no happiness in that house. That can even make the man to look outside and probably commit. When a woman is a prostitute, she doesn’t even need to dress well. It is modest women who dress well, because a modest woman has rest of mind. Where it is said that the adornment should not

    be

    too much, is an advice, it doesn’t mean not to use at all. Using it doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t love God. Some people say a woman should not preach, but can you stop the police woman when she catches you, or a female judge who sends a man to jail? So why not listen to a woman of God who brings you peace? So what I can say is that it boils down to ignorance and then jealousy because God answers women faster than men because we can cry more.

    What accessories do you not do without?

    I don’t miss anything; the beauty God has given me is there already. Sometimes though, I use make up and sometimes I don’t because I always think that it may stain people’s clothes when I hug them. You know as a preacher, I hug a lot. But that does not mean that I hate powder. I use it when I do photo-shoot. I can do with anything and do without anything. I advice women that when they have money, they should use it to buy properties, build houses for their children, and use the excess for trinkets and gold. Women should think of the future in case they die before their husbands, who may marry another wife.

    Tell us your regrets?

    It is, not believing God as much as I ought to. Sometimes I doubt Him until he performs yet another miracle. When it comes to my personal issues with God, I drag things with Him. I ask Him why He tells me not to do some things. That has been my regret. I wish to be a better woman, a better preacher, I am still growing, things are different now, I want to speak to the youth and speak their language, speak to the rich and get across to them and reach out to everybody. And I will love that President Goodluck Jonathan who we know is a good man should also be more strong and bold. He should make decisions and stand by it. The bloodshed in the country is much. Let him come up with a resolution to stop it. I am not saying that he should be like Obasanjo but please let him act now and fast.