Category: Weekend Treat

  • For the rich to enjoy their wealth in peace (2)

    While crimes of any sort including kidnappings should be condemned by any right-thinking person, the rich in the country have their own share of the blame for the sorry state of affairs.

    One reason for this is the manner they flaunt their wealth. In a country like Nigeria with so much poverty, disease and other developmental challenges staring us in the face daily, it smacks of the highest level of insensitivity for those with money to ‘show off’ their riches so flagrantly.

    It’s even worse when all this ‘flaunting’ is done by our elected leaders. It’s an open secret that those in elective positions in the country, like governors, senators, House of Rep members and other representatives live above the people-many live lifestyles of immense luxury and extravagance while most of the citizens whose interests they are supposed to represent live in grinding penury. They live in multi-billion Naira mansions, fly around in private jets and helicopters and drive exotic cars that even the Queen of England (one of the richest women in the world), doesn’t drive. To them, the word ‘modest lifestyle’ doesn’t exist.

    And the sad thing about this is that most of the money used in funding their flamboyant lifestyles which they flaunt in our faces, are public funds, money that is desperately needed to develop our country. Looking at their lifestyles, one would think that Nigeria is a country with the resources of the U.S and China combined instead of a resource-rich but poor country still battling with the challenges of a developing country.

    Land of show-offs, tax evaders

    Nigeria must be the only country in the world where a man will announce to the world that he is a rich man. In other climes, especially in the Western world, the opposite is the norm-the rich live mostly modest lifestyles and hardly flaunt their wealth. The reason for this is obvious: to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to themselves and because of the taxman. For over there, the rich are heavily taxed and flaunting your wealth is an open invitation to the taxman to come and take his ‘cut’ of your wealth.

    Here, though, most of our wealthy class don’t pay taxes, at least not as much as expected, considering what they make. It’s the ordinary workers whose taxes are deducted at source from their meager salaries who are the real tax payers in this country.

    Besides tax evasion, the rich in our midst have no idea what wealth is meant for. To them, it’s just for living a life of affluence and grandeur: for acquiring the good things of life such as big houses, expensive cars, designer clothes, foreign holidays to exotic places, an Ivy league education for the kids and so on…

    Nothing wrong in living the good life if you can afford it, have worked hard and genuinely earned it (and not by looting public funds or through other unscrupulous means).

    But there’s more to wealth possession than the above. One man who understood clearly the real purpose of wealth was Andrew Carnegie, an American billionaire industrialist, philanthropist and at one time the richest man in the world. Carnegie believed wholeheartedly that the rich should use their wealth to enrich society, stating publicly that ‘the rich have a moral obligation to give away their fortunes’- that those with great wealth must be socially responsible and use their assets to help others. This belief was stated in his book, “The Gospel of Wealth.”

    He did not mean charity but philanthropy- his idea being to use his wealth to give people the opportunity to help themselves. He did this by providing funds to build libraries, schools and other training institutions. In total he funded more than 2,500 libraries throughout the UK, the US and Canada and at his death in 1919, he had given away $350 million out of his wealth.

    Though small in stature at only 5ft 1in tall, he was a man with a very big heart indeed!

    In Nigeria today, we have a lot of Carnegies, but what do they do with their riches? Apart from a few who are humane, the majority do nothing but live ostentatious, flamboyant lifestyles, endlessly seeking after the pleasures that their money can buy, acquiring frivolous items like private jets that add no value to society. And all this smack in the middle of millions of deprived, hungry and needy countrymen who have lost hope in the system.

    Are you then surprised that kidnapping and other crimes are on the rise? The chickens have surely come home to roost!

    Now the rich live in fear. They can’t even drive their expensive cars on the roads anymore for fear of armed robbers or kidnappers. Has it thus, not become glaringly obvious that for the rich in the society (especially the ruling class) to have a peaceful environment to enjoy their wealth, they must care about the poor, the teeming masses in their midst? The days of ignoring them, pretending that they don’t exist must end.

    From history, we know what happened in societies that ill-treated the poor masses among them, while the aristocrats wallowed in their profligate lifestyles. The French Revolution that took place in 18th century France, which led to the demise of the Royal Family and other members of the ruling class, is a good example. Let’s learn from history and avoid the looming catastrophe hanging over us.

    •Concluded

  • Baggage that  limits women in  corporate Nigeria

    Baggage that limits women in corporate Nigeria

    Amina Oyagbola is the Human Relations Executive at MTN Nigeria Communications Limited and founder of Women In Successful Careers, WISCAR. Her professional career has spanned over 27 years in the legal, oil, banking and telecommunications sector.
    She served as the Head, private banking division of United Bank for Africa and the Head of the Human Resource, Strategy, Standards and Business unit. In this interview with Rita Ohai, she raises the veil on her personal life and shares from her wealth of professional experience.

    Can you tell us some of the personal challenges you have had to face in your career?

    My professional corporate career life has spanned well over 27 years. There were many points in my career when I actually thought of throwing in the towel and stepping aside but what kept me going was because I had mentors around me.

    On reflection, I found it interesting that not a single woman mentored me on my professional journey. In my mind there was something wrong with that because I believe that women who have been able to get to the top of their careers have a unique story to tell which they should share with the younger generation.

    This prompted the formation of WISCAR because as women, we have competing priorities. Women are the nurturers, they are the ones who get married and bare the babies and sometimes the pressure from the home front can detract from wanting to pursue a career. Often times, they are forced to make a choice and step aside from corporate work because they cannot cope with all the stress.

    Wiscar is a not-for-profit organisation that is focused on young, entry level to mid-career young female professionals who have made a commitment to pursue a career. We as an organisation are focused on providing strategic, structured mentoring.

    Nigerian employers complain about the low quality of the staff they are forced to hire and a number of factors have been blamed. How can this issue be addressed?

    It is a social economic issue. Our schools are not up to par. I went to Ahmadu Bello University at a time when it was a world-class institution. At that time, getting a Second Class Upper grade in ABU, Zaria meant you could get the same grade in Cambridge University which is exactly what happened to me.

    So we need to go back and invest in our institutions by scaling up your youths and the facilities they need for development so that when they come out, they can plug into the mainstream.

    The situation we have on the ground right now is that you find that many companies, once they hire young graduates, will have to put in place programmes which form part of their induction process into the organisation. For about 3 to 6 months, the organisation will take them through basic rudimentary things that they ought to have picked up in secondary school.

    From a personal experience, I have found that their areas of greatest challenge are the simple things. The young graduates are brilliant but basic skill are lacking such as logic, simple communication and creative thinking. It is a collective responsibility to ensure that the right investments in these young ones are made.

    You are one of the few women who have been able to break through the glass ceiling and establish herself in your industry. Why do you think many African women have not been able to cross that threshold?

    My experience is that every organisation is looking for the person who can add value and if that person happens to be a young female, they are going to forget very quickly that you are a woman and put you in a position where you can make solid contributions.

    Most women, when they go into an organisation are just focused on the task at hand. They tell themselves, ‘I have been given this assignment’ and they sit down, bow their heads and focus on only that task.

    However, in order to profit in an organisation, you need to lift your gaze and map out the entire territory and understand the objectives of the organisation and develop a strategic plan to key into that. Do your job, no doubt, but make sure that whatever you are doing is aligned to your ultimate goal because it is only when it pays that you will be able to progress.

    Young women need to create that consciousness that lets them know that they are not just workers but are individual volunteers who are offering their services and that they have a unique contribution to make. No organisation can progress without excellent people. They need to understand the male perspective in the company over and beyond the female perspective and also understand that nobody is interested in your gender.

    It is about the level to which your level of self-confidence has been built. It is a combination of how you have been nurtured, what kind of influences your parents gave you, regardless of status and wealth. Going past the family environment, there is also the factor of the quality of education received and the social influences.

    You find that by the time many of these women are going into the work place, they are already carrying a lot of baggage and their mental modules have been defined. All of these value systems are what they bring to bear into which ever organisation they decide to work in.

    So the ability to succeed inside an organisation, given the dynamics of the organisation, are dependent on the individuals inter-personal skills, a deep understanding of the goals of the organisation and ability to mentally and strategically align with those goals.

    From your extensive experience as a human resource executive, is the general assumption that women cannot work together true?

    What I always try to do is to ensure that, in everything that I do whether it is a proposition or activity, I sell the benefits that the other person would derive from the process. Whether the person likes me or not, I can assure you that they will align always.

    I think all human beings are generally complicated. Men are very competitive and women are also competitive among themselves. In the workplace, men and women also compete every day. I think it takes two to tango and everybody has to give and receive a little.

    But on the other hand, competition is also healthy. If you observe with all the consumer products that once competition is introduced, there is an awakening. It removes the arrogance and complacency as well as the monopoly mentality. It also pushes people to be more creative.

    I believe also that any forward-looking individual will understand that it is better to collaborate with others because you will move faster instead of trying to do it on your own.

    As one who heads the employee relations arm of your organisation, what is your experience with sexual harassment?

    This sexual harassment issue is a very sensitive one. Does it exist? Yes!

    In my experience of over 27 years, I would not be speaking the truth if I say that I have never been harassed. Not in a terrible way but what I would describe as unsavoury and improper overtures being made towards me in a circumstance that was completely inappropriate. However, I have been blessed such that I have not suffered any discrimination by virtue of the fact that somebody had a design on me which was not responded to.

    Let me also say that people who behave badly, will behave badly whether they are men or women. But we also know that there is something they call temptation. We should also not put ourselves in a compromising situation. I come from a construct that men should not say that they were tempted because a woman wore a particular blouse.

    I believe the men should be able to have self-respect and discipline instead of using that as a lame excuse for bad behaviour but in the same vein, a professional woman need to comport herself in a particular manner which includes the way she carries herself and her dressing because the apparel maketh a man.

    If I walk into an office with a miniskirt and a blouse exposing my cleavage, the likelihood of receiving negative overtures will increase but if I walk into the same office looking decent, unless the guy is just extremely badly behaved, he is likely to withdraw. For that reason in my corporate life, I have not suffered a lot.

    I do know, based on feedback, that the ladies in the marketing arena are more exposed because they have to go to environments they have no control over to negotiate and sell their products. I did a little bit of marketing and when I noticed that this was the case, I made a very quick adjustment. I made sure that whenever we ladies were going for marketing, we would not go alone. We would go accompanied with preferably a male colleague. So there are things we can do to limit the effect of harassment.

    When you are not working as a high-powered executive, who is Amina Oyagbola?

    I am a woman sitting in my chair watching a movie, home-based or foreign. I watch Africa Magic sometimes and have a good laugh, especially when my mum is around so I do not even have a choice but to watch it.

    If I had the time I would go to the cinema but because that is difficult for me I get a DVD or my son downloads some for me. I watch a movie almost every night, it is my own way of relaxing. The other thing I do is take long walks.

    If you were to get home on a good day and you had to cook your family a meal, which would it be, and why?

    Would you believe me if I tell you that I can remember the last time I went into the kitchen? (she laughs)

    I can’t remember the last time I cooked a meal or entered the kitchen! Except, of course, to make sure that certain provisional items are available. I have a very good cook. I have taught them over time how to make food to both my taste and my husband’s. They can do it better that me. Given the fact that I have a very hectic schedule and also the fact that I actually do not enjoy cooking, but I love good food. Also my husband is not that fussy, he does not require that I should make it personally, so that is it.

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  • I’m 37 and my lady is 21, is it societally okay for us to marry?

    Hi Aunty, please help me I’m 37 and my lady is 21, is it societally okay for us to marry? Please help me. I don’t have access to your paper these days in our place. – Joe, Plateau.

    You’re both adults and she’s of consent age, so what’s stopping you?

    Except her parents are against the union, I don’t see why you shouldn’t be married. Love, maturity, endurance and other ingredients have to be in every relationship and marriage; do you think you both

    have those? Then go ahead. Below, I have some opinions of your subject matter for you:

    P. Ahmed: So long as you are both legal and grown up enough to know about love, relationships and marriage.

    Creative Guy: One of the strongest & happiest couples I know are a genius blind woman then aged 31 and a super fit ex-commando then aged 75. Over 2 years later, they are still the most fabulous lovebirds and everywhere they go, folks love them. They are both quite exceptional folk.

    Jemil: Well, I’m 64 and my girlfriend is 38. We get on famously even though she does call me father from time to time.

    Goody: My wife is 10 years younger than me and we have been together for 9 years and not many problems at all.

  • Beyond pardon (1)

    In a few months time, I will be 64 years old. At this stage in my life, one would expect that I would be free of such relationship issues like heartache, betrayal, lack of trust and other matters of the heart that lots of people face in life. But it’s not so. A few months ago, I was stabbed in the back, betrayed by someone I loved with all my heart and soul and invested so much in.

    The traitorous person, the snake who has caused me so much pain is none other than my wife, Timi. Timi was my life, my sunshine, the one who made me wake up with a smile on my face each morning. I believed she loved me too and would be by my side for the rest of my days. How wrong and naive I was!

    Looking back now, perhaps I should have known this would happen considering the differences between us especially the age gap. You see, I met Timi when I was already in my mid-50s; that was eight years ago. She was very young then, about 23, just fresh from school and as pretty as one of those models one sees in those glossy magazines. How did a young girl like that with so much going for her, end up with a man like me, that was old enough to be her father?

    It’s a long story and I think I should start from the beginning…

    We met when I was still working, before my retirement. It was in a government parastatal and I had been posted to our office in Port-Harcourt a few years before. I was a very senior staff then, the second in command at the office. There was a day I had gone out of the office to see someone and on my return, I had met the receptionist having an argument with a young lady. She was dressed in the white and khaki uniform of the NYSC.

    “Madam, I’ve told you several times but you’ve refused to listen. My boss said we don’t have any vacancies here. We have enough youth corpers serving here and we don’t need more. So, please go!” she ordered.

    “Please, aunty, try to help me. All the other places I’ve been to rejected me. Where do I…” the young lady was saying when I intervened.

    “What’s going on here?” I queried.

    They both turned in my direction, the receptionist quickly standing up on recognizing me.

    “Welcome, sir!” she greeted cheerfully.

    I looked at the young lady, then turned to the receptionist, who was called Vero.

    “Is there any problem?” I asked again.

    Vero explained the situation to me, all the while glaring at the young woman.

    “She keeps pleading to be taken to serve here, even after I’ve told her we don’t have any space left.”

    I studied the young lady, noting how distressed she looked. I asked her name and after she had told me, I said to the receptionist:

    “It’s ok, Vero. We can take one more person. Take her to admin and tell the manager that she can serve here,” I said, turning to go to my office.

    “Oh! Thank you sir! God bless you, sir!” she stated effusively, genuflecting.

    “It’s alright, Timi,” I said, leaving the reception.

    That was how Timi came to do her youth service programme in my office.

    Some days later, I travelled to Lagos to see my family over the long public holiday. After my transfer to Port-Harcourt some years earlier, my wife had refused to relocate with me to the Garden City.

    “You were transferred to Lagos from Calabar just three years ago and now you are moving again. I’m not going anywhere!” she had declared. I didn’t blame her. Any woman would be tired of moving from one city to another like a nomad because of the peripatetic nature of her husband’s job. In the past, she had always been supportive and understanding and had gone with me wherever my job demanded. But as she noted, this was one transfer too many.

    “Omos has just settled in her new school and it won’t be fair to uproot her now and move again,” she had explained. Omos was our last child and was in senior secondary school. I had four children. Two of them, both boys, had left the university and were already working while the other one, another daughter was in her final year in the university.

    So, based on that, my wife and the family had remained in Lagos and I had gone to PH alone, living like a bachelor again. I visited them some weekends or during public holidays.

    On my return from this last visit, Timi, the youth corps member I had accepted to serve in our establishment, came to see me.

    She arrived with a ‘thank you’ card.

    “There was no need for this,” I said, as I admired the hand made card.

    “I had to sir. I was really desperate that day and you came to my rescue,” she explained, smiling broadly at me.

    “I couldn’t bear to see a pretty lady like you looking so miserable,” I said as I studied her closely. She was dressed in a nice blouse and black skirt and she looked more relaxed and calmer than she did on the first day I saw her.

    The following day, I had closed from work and my driver was taking me to my club to unwind after the day’s work. I saw Timi standing by the bus stop near our office and I told the driver to stop.

    “Where are you going, Timi?” I asked from the car window.

    She said she was going to see a friend at Rumuola before heading home.

    “I’m going in that direction. We can drop you,” I offered.

    She got in and we drove off. Along the way, the friend she was going to visit called to inform her that she had to leave home for an emergency somewhere and she should wait for her at home.

    On explaining the situation to me, I told her to come with me to the club and she could see her friend later.

    We spent some pleasant hours at the club. I chatted and drank with a couple of my friends who had just finished playing a game of tennis. I also played regularly but mostly at weekends. I loved to play golf too at the nice golf course on the posh estate belonging to a top oil company where the club was located.

    After that, Timi, who loved to swim, expressed the desire to visit the club regularly to use the pool. I arranged membership for her and some evenings, after work, we would head for the club together. That was how we began to spend time together but as just friends.

     

    Another level

    At this stage, I just saw Timi as a young, pretty girl with a friendly, cheerful disposition. As a man, I found her very attractive but I never had any intention of getting entangled with her. But things changed about five months after we met. I had a very good friend, who was a top government official in the state. There was a day he held a party to mark his wife’s birthday and I was invited. My wife could not come to PH that weekend and since I didn’t have any date, I asked Timi if she could accompany me as my date.

    She agreed and we attended the party together. She was dressed in a blue evening gown and she looked very lovely.

    “She’s beautiful. Is she your new catch?” another friend of mine, Calvin asked, as he watched her chatting animatedly with another guest.

    I shook my head.

    “She’s doing her NYSC programme in my office. She’s just a young friend,” I explained.

    “Young friend indeed! Francis, you are talking as if I don’t know you,” he stated in a sarcastic tone.

    “You think everyone is like you, that can’t resist anything in skirts!” I fired back, moving away to chat with my host who I saw approaching…

    After the party, it was quite late. I had given my driver the day off and since Timi lived in one of the suburbs, which was a bit far from the venue of the party, it was agreed she would stay in my house located in one of the GRAs that night.

    My houseboy, Johnson who did the cooking, cleaning and other duties around the house, had slept when we arrived at my place. I showed her to one of the guest rooms and gave her some things she would need to make her stay comfortable.

    I was in my room getting ready for bed when there was a knock on my door. Timi was standing there when I opened the door. I noticed she was wearing one of the old T-shirts I had given her to sleep in that night. The top was short and it left her smooth, sexy thighs on display. I quickly looked away from the tempting sight.

    “Is there anything you need?” I asked her.

    “Actually,” she began, then seemed to change her mind. Then she asked if she could come in.

    I let her in, looking at her curiously.

    I went to switch off the TV set and when I turned back, I could not believe the sight that met my eyes.

    There was Timi standing there stark naked as the day she was born. By her feet was the T-shirt she had been wearing.

    “What the…? Timi, what are you doing?” I queried, my eyes fixed on her tantalising body. She placed a finger on her lips, walked towards me and wound her arms round my neck…

     

    •To be continued

    What happened between Timi and the narrator that night? Read the exciting details next Saturday!

     

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831 or psaduwa@yahoo.com

  • Court dissolves 10-yr-old marriage

    The Isolo Customary Court, Lagos has dissolved the marriage between a Lagos–based businessman, Anughere Kingsley Elochukwu, and his wife, Adaeze   Tina.

    Anughere had dragged his wife before the court on the grounds that she had abandoned her matrimonial home to engage in adultery.

    The petitioner, who resides at No 13, Ofokarie Street, Okota, Lagos State, claimed that his 10-year-old marriage to the respondent had broken down irretrievably, hence it should be dissolved.

    The respondent, however, denied all the allegations.

     In his ruling, the president of the court, Mr. A. Haastrup, said that it was not love that brought the feuding couple together as husband and wife but mere infatuation.

    The judge gave the custody of the two children produced by the marriage, Onyekachi and Ogechukwu, to the respondent.

    He, however , ruled that the petitioner should be allowed access to his two children and that he should place them on a monthly allowance for their upkeep.

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  • He’s 7 years older but his jealousy is affecting our relationship

    Hi Adeola, I’m 19 and an undergraduate. I’m dating a guy who truly loves me although 7 years older than me but he happens to be to jealous whenever he sees guys’ calls on my phone although he does not receive lady’s call the way I do. I hope his jealousy cannot lead to a breakup.

    Put yourself in your guy’s shoes and let’s see if you would be happy to see him receiving regular calls from other girls. The future of this relationship depends on you. If your man is unhappy about your constant frolicking with other men, stop it. Have friends he knows about. These should be friends who ask after him when they call and who may even want to say hello to him. If you allow flippant calls to be the bane this good relationship, you would be shocked that none of these other guys would give you the kind of love you just lost. Be wise.

  • My mother is against the relationship because he has a child out of wedlock

    Good day ma, I’m a reader of your column. Please advise me. I’m in love with a man I really love but my mum told me to quit the relationship. She gave two reasons – He already a child of out of wedlock and we are not from the same state. All these do not bother me but she insisted.

    I wonder what your mum would say if you were the one who had a child out of wedlock and a man wanted to marry you. Sure she would bless the man and jump at the idea of him marrying you without delay. If she had a son who had a child out of wedlock, she would cajole a good girl to marry him and take him as he is.

    Well, I don’t know how much power your mum wields in your family, so I wouldn’t know how you can make her see reason and go for the one you love. So far it doesn’t bother you, I see no reason why it should bother her.

    In these times and days when people inter-marry everyday, I see nothing wrong in you marrying a man from another state. I’m a true Nigerian and I see us all as one.

  • Being a beauty queen doesn’t conflict with my serving in the church —Miss Nigeria-Florida 2012

    Being a beauty queen doesn’t conflict with my serving in the church —Miss Nigeria-Florida 2012

    It was a moment of glory for the pretty, young Nigerian lady. The venue was the city of Miami in the United States. The occasion was the friendly match between the Nigerian Super Eagles and Venezuela. Miss Ayoyemi Ajimatanrareje was accorded the honour of walking on the field with the Nigerian football stars. This was in recognition of her status as the current Miss Nigeria – Florida for the year 2012. Shortly before that, Ayoyemi had featured in the Soi Women’s Empowerment Gala as one of the many roles she is called upon to play as Florida- Nigeria’s reigning beauty queen. But any opportunity to identify with Nigeria means so much to Ayoyemi who moved to Florida at the age of 11 on May 17, 2003 and mingling with the Super Eagles players still excites her.

    Stressing her patriotic fervour, Ayoyemi says: “I am extremely proud to be a Nigerian. I can’t stress it enough. I love my country, my Yoruba culture, my language, my Iyan (pounded yam) and efo (vegetables), my iro and buba, my braids, whether in suku, patewo, all back or just plaits. I’m proud to be a Nigerian because it distinguishes me from all others around me. I think Nigeria is a very fruitful country that can do better with a better government with sacrificial leaders that are ready to serve selflessly.”

    But why did she decide to participate in the Miss Nigeria Florida 2012 contest and what was the experience like? “I decided to contest because a school mate and friend of mine persuaded me to. I also felt well, why not? What do I have to lose and I love my culture so sure. The contest was quite keen, considering I was running against six other pretty and talented Nigerian/American young ladies. It was also important because this specific pageant was the most publicised in Florida. About 1000 people showed up for it. To qualify, you had to be 18 years but not older than 30 years of age, not currently married and never been married and no children as well. You also had to be a permanent resident or citizen of the United States residing in Florida. You had to be in a clear standing with the United States concerning immigration as well as having no criminal record. My predecessor was a 23-year old Nigerian lady named Adekemi Akinwole. She is currently a college student at the University of Miami.”

    Ayoyemi has a passion for caring for those who hurt and helping those in need of physical or emotional healing. This is why she is very serious and passionate in her current pursuit of nursing as a career. “I actually just got accepted into a nursing college university called Azure College of Nursing here in Miami, Florida, which I started attending on the 15th of October”, she says. “I am currently working on receiving my second degree, Associates in Sciences and Nursing as a Registered Nurse. I will be graduating next year November. I plan on moving to California to start working as a registered nurse, as well as furthering my studies in nursing like getting a Bachelor’s degree”.

    But then, Ayoyemi has bigger dreams beyond nursing. Her hobbies include singing, performing, acting, dancing and cooking. Thus, she says “My purpose in life is to be great and touch lives with my greatness. To perform and sing music that will change people’s lives, touch their souls and move their feet. I also believe that I was made to serve God and let everyone know of his greatness. I intend on pursuing my music and acting career especially with Nollywood.”

    Who are Ayoyemi’s motivators and role models? “I admire my stepfather, Otunba Funsho Ajayi, a former Major in the Nigerian Army. He’s a very hard working man. I also admire my mum, Olori Yinka Ajayi, she’s the life of the party. She has proved that you’re never too old to enjoy life and have fun. Genevieve Nnaji I will also say I admire. She worked her way up to where she is now doing what she loves, acting, despite all odds.”

    Ayoyemi’s attitude to America is mixed: “I dislike the racism aspect of America, sometimes the darker coloured people like us Africans might be treated differently due to our skin colour. I like the fact that everyone has equal opportunity though and if you set out to be great in the US, the country makes it a little easier for you to accomplishing that greatness”. And what about the Nigerians in Florida? “Nigerians are actually welcomed and accepted well by the non-Nigerian Floridians here. Unfortunately, the Nigerians that live in Florida are not too supportive of each other; it almost seems like a competition sometimes. Some stick to themselves, some don’t come out much while others are simply kind.”

    The beauty queen attends Jesus the Christ Church where her father, Reverend Dr. Yemi Ajimatanrareje, is the pastor. She is indeed the Praise team leader and music director of the church. But how does Ayoyemi reconcile her spiritual values with the rather glamorous and worldly lifestyle associated with being a beauty queen? She calmly but forcefully affirms her values: “Being a beauty queen doesn’t at all conflict with my serving in the church. This is because I know who I am as a child of God and that is what I use to gauge my activities and attires as a beauty queen. If it doesn’t please God, I’m neither wearing it nor doing it. That’s just my motto. I mean as a young adult, there will be temptations and things that glitter and catch my attention but I also know the daughter of whom I am so certain things don’t deserve second thoughts. I want to be seen in a specific light and that doesn’t include drinking, partying or being in relationships with different men. I’m not trying to say I’m perfect but yes, I’m trying very hard to live a life that fulfils me and neither brings shame to God nor my parents”.