Category: Weekend Treat

  • Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas

    I used to have a colleague and friend named Benny. I have been searching for her since about six years now and I pray I find her in peace. I remember Benny today because it’s a few days to Christmas and seven days after that, it would be New Year. Benny used to feel downcast back then around this time of the year because that was when she took stock of her life. She used to ponder more on the things that were not working for her, and she was always in trepidation of the coming year, wondering if it would usher in her dreams. To make it worse, the dryness of the Harmattan breeze, the hot sun and the general mood of the season used to annoy her, making her feel lost.

    I remember Benny today because like her, I’m taking stock. This year alone, I lost a sister, a dear cousin-in-law, a very dear friend and an acquaintance.  But this same year, I have only visited the hospital for routine checks – nothing serious. I have food to eat and maybe something extra to share. This year alone, I have experienced the death of loved ones the same way I have celebrated the arrival of new dreams and new lives. And at this time of the year, I can type with

    joy knowing that somebody somewhere is going to be happy just reading this.

    I have many reasons to be merry and thankful to the One who knows my tomorrow. Even if you do not have enough to buy a new cloth for the season and maybe not enough to buy the chicken you would have loved to share, we can look around at all those faces that stare back at us with love. We can then put our hopes in God and happily wish each other a very Merry Christmas.

    Below is a Christmas joke for you to enjoy.

    The Savior must have been a docile Gentleman by Emily Dickinson

    The Savior must have been

    A docile Gentleman—

    To come so far so cold a Day

    For little Fellowmen—

    The Road to Bethlehem

    Since He and I were Boys

    Was leveled, but for that ’twould be

    A rugged Billion Miles—

  • How to make a man feel like a king

    Men, like women, have certain emotional and physical needs. Women tend to believe the primary thing on a man’s mind is sex. Sex is very important to men, but it is not the most important thing. Men crave worship and want to be seen as the center of their mate’s life. Follow these tips to make your man feel like a king every day of the year.

    Support him. Always back your man in front of family and friends and never allow anyone to say anything negative about him. Also, don’t challenge him in front of other people.

    Guard personal information. Keep your secrets to yourself and don’t run to your friends or family every time something happens. Men feel very insecure when woman share intimate details about their relationship.

    Encourage him. Men need to feel that they are successful in life. Support him when he has a new idea and lift him up when he feels like a failure. Tell him how proud you are of him on a regular basis.

    Tell him how sexy he is. Just like women, men like to hear that they are attractive. Let him know that he is a good lover and that he is the only man for you. Tell him how much you love his eyes, biceps, legs… whatever you find irresistible about him.

    Keep your appearance up. It’s a known fact that men are attracted by sight. Wear sexy clothes for him on your date night. Surprise him with a new hairstyle that you know he would like. Be spontaneous and don’t be afraid to try new looks.

    Make love regularly. Men crave sex and intimacy for several reasons, namely physical pleasure and affirmation. The act of sex makes a man feel like the king of his castle. Try to have some sort of physical contact with your man at least once each day.

    I’m female and my female friend wants us to do sexual things together Good morning ma. My name is Sophia, I’m SS2. I have a friend we have been friends for three months now she’s okay but when we are talking she treats me like her girlfriend and we are both girls and she tries to have sex with me but she talks about education she’s always calling

    me to read. Is she a good friend?

    My dear, your friend is either a lesbian or a bi-sexual. You don’t need sexual relationships at this stage in your life and certainly not with a person of same sex. You have to put your feet down and let your friend know that if she wants you to continue to study together; she has to stop all these talks about sex and lesbianism. It is ungodly and you don’t need it.

  • For the rich to enjoy their wealth in peace (1)

    Surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his lifetime for the good of the community.

    Andrew Carnegie: 1835-1919, American Industrialist, Billionaire and Philanthropist

    I travelled out of town recently to Port-Harcourt and Delta State on a private visit to see family members and some others I had not seen for quite some time. In Warri, I ran into an old school mate of mine. We attended the same primary school in Warri back in the day and we had kept in touch intermittently over the years.

    The guy, whom I will call Rukevwe (for security reasons, he doesn’t want his name mentioned in this write-up), is now a big player in the oil and gas industry. And it shows in his lifestyle. He has a very nice collection of some of the most exotic cars in town, lives in a big mansion and wears only designer outfits. But when I saw him last week, there was a noticeable change about him. Instead of driving the latest ‘machine’ as car freaks love to say, he was going around town in an old-looking car that had seen better days. Also gone were the designer clothes, Rolex watches and crocodile skin Italian shoes.

    I stood gaping, open-mouthed at the old car, the old T- shirt with a few holes in it that looked as if a rat had had part of it for its dinner and the faded jeans he was wearing. Thinking that a great disaster had befallen him and he had lost all his wealth, I asked with some trepidation in pidgin:

    “Rukevwe, wetin do you?”

    “Nothing o, my sister. Na condition make me be like this!”

    He explained that it was the fear of kidnappers that had made him and some other well-to-do people in the oil city to tone down their lifestyle.

    “It’s suicidal to flaunt your wealth these days,” he noted. “Doing so will invite the evil eye of the kidnappers. You can’t even trust anybody now. It could be your staff, friend or even relative that can give info about you to those people. So, to stay safe, we live an average lifestyle, pretending that we don’t have any money. It’s a sad situation we’ve found ourselves in.”

    His words echo those of an interesting personality I interviewed recently. He spoke of how some rich friends of his now live in fear and are afraid to drive their expensive, multi-million naira cars on the streets for fear, ‘they can be killed by armed robbers or even by their own drivers!”

    In other words, the fear of kidnappers is the beginning of wisdom for the rich and powerful in the country. No one is safe anymore as the recent kidnap of the octogenarian mother of the Finance Minister, Mrs Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala, shows. Also, earlier in the week, Nollywood actress and Special Assistant to Governor Rochas Okorocha, Nkiru Sylvanus was kidnapped in Owerri, the Imo State capital. No one knows who is next.

    And this begs the question: what’s the point of accumulating great wealth that one can’t enjoy in peace? Has being rich become a curse and a disadvantage in Nigeria?

    Events in recent times prove so. The spate of kidnappings is on the increase especially in the Southern part of the country. The rich are their main targets as they have the wherewithal to pay the high ransom often demanded.

    That things like this are happening in our society today, is not surprising to many. In the past decade or so, the gap between the super-rich and the poor has been steadily increasing. Today, it’s so wide that though, we live in one country, it’s like we are in separate worlds, far apart from each other. The few rich live in one world, cocooned from the harsh realities of life in a Third World country; while the teeming poor, numbering in their millions, live by the special grace of God, struggling for a meager existence, unsure of where the next meal will come from.

    Such a situation of social inequalities is a breeding ground for envy, resentment of the poor against the rich and crimes of all types and magnitude. Like kidnapping for instance. Its perpetuators, (many of whom are unemployed), in their warped way of thinking, see it as the only means of getting their hands on some of the riches the wealthy have accumulated, so they too can live ‘big’ and belong to the upper class in the society.

    It’s a way of thinking that is fueled by our materialistic society of today, which worships money more than the Almighty God, and many employ ‘any means possible’ to acquire wealth…

    •To be continued

  • My Day on 12-12-12

    How are you all preparing for Christmas? I pray the real reason for the season is reflected in our lives.

     And it would be fun to know how a lot of you took that special date 12-12-12. I began to see paid adverts about three days before that date asking people to fast and pray.  Honestly,

    I must confess that I took it as any other day. You know why? In the past, people have celebrated such other special numbers and still, most of them are still the same today. Nothing has changed.

    God is awesome and I have come to realize that He will do what He will do whether you pray on such special dates or not. He will bless those whom He will bless. So what did I do to on that day? I spread around a little love amongst my friends. We ate together and generally had some fun. To me, every waking day of my life is a special day. From that gardener next door who brings me fresh pawpaw straight from the tree, to the smile of my miaguard who doesn’t even know about dates to the birds that come to greet me in the morning to wake me up, every day is special to me. May God make all days special for us.

  • 2015: Those asking for power shift to the North are self-seekers  — Umar

    2015: Those asking for power shift to the North are self-seekers — Umar

    Col. Abubakar Umar is a former governor of Kaduna State from August 1985 to June 1988 during the military regime of General Ibrahim Babangida. After his retirement from the army, Umar became Chairman and Chief Executive, Work and Worship (Gas Company) Nigeria Limited, Kaduna.
    Umar was an unrepentant critic of the Abacha regime. He joined the G-18 group of politicians that publicly opposed Abacha’s plan to become president. Known for his outspokenness, Umar, who has variously dismissed the concept of a monolithic Northern region as obsolete and unnecessary, in this interview with Assistant Editor, LINUS OBOGO, condemned those asking for power to shift to the North ahead of 2015, insisting that they are not speaking for the region. He also spoke on the helplessness of the Northern leaders to deal with the menace of Boko Haram. Excerpts:

    President Goodluck Jonathan said during his recent media chat that the Federal Government could not dialogue with the Boko Haram sect because, according to him, the Islamic sect is faceless. Would you subscribe to the government going into a parley with the Boko Haram?

    The President was right in the sense that if you are going to dialogue with anybody, the people must show their faces. Otherwise, with whom is he going to dialogue? Even if the people are interested in dialogue, the fact remains that the Federal Government does not know who to dialogue with. So, President Jonathan was absolutely right.

    What do you make of the refusal by the former head of state, General Mohammadu Buhari (rtd), to be Boko Haram’s representative at the dialogue?

    Well, General Buhari has since dissociated himself from the news item that he had been chosen by the sect to represent them. He said he had nothing to do with Boko Haram and it is to that extent of dissociating himself with the sect that we should draw the curtain on the issue. You cannot force somebody who is not a member of your group or association to represent you when he does not even know who you are in the first place.

    It is true that we all desire peace. But how do we even know that those sending out these messages are doing so on behalf of Boko Haram? It is still not clear that those behind the message of dialogue are representing anybody. If Boko Haram genuinely wants to dialogue, they should come out in the open and say here we are, this is our grouse and this is what we want under so and so conditions. They should make themselves known before anybody would want to dialogue with them or for anyone to want to be representative at a dialogue.

    For me, it is the only way to look at the issue. Dialogue has become a mantra where virtually everyone is mouthing it. That is why I maintain that the Federal Government is correct by insisting that it does not know who it is going to dialogue with. Another thing is that no one is sure about who are the people behind those asking for dialogue with the government.

    In all sincerity sir, do you think there are convincing grounds for any dialogue with the Boko Haram, given their unrestrained attacks on government’s and Christians’ institutions?

    In the first place, as an ex-military officer, when you are confronted by a threat, you will try to do some analysis of where it is coming from. But because of the statements people have been making about who the Boko Haram members are and who they represent, it has been very difficult for us to identify who the Boko Haram elements are and also what their grouses are.

    An average southerner believes that Boko Haram and their activities are the handiwork of disgruntled politicians who lost out in the 2011 presidential election. They also believe that because power did not shift to the North, disgruntled politicians from the region have decided to use the Bok Haram to distabilise the country and make things difficult for President Jonathan’s government. I do not think this is true.

    Also, an average Northerner believes that Boko Haram is a tool being used by the Federal Government to distabilise the North and ensure that the economy of the region collapses.

    For me, neither of the two positions is true. The truth is that we are faced by a group that is a fundamentalist organisation in outlook and which does not have a stable or consistent agenda. The only thing I see happening is that people are being killed and the economy of the North is being totally destroyed. From what is happening, both Moslems and Christians are being killed. How then can we support the theory or the assumption that some Northern politicians are manipulating the Boko Haram? If it were true, the northerners themselves should have been the first people to deal with the alleged politicians behind the activities of the sect.

    In the same vein, if the Federal Government is allegedly complicit, according to the position of some northerners, what does Federal stand to gain by destabilising its own component unit of the federation? If the Federal Government is destabilising the North, is the region not a part of the nation?

    I think what we must do is to dispassionately look at who the Boko Haram are, what they represent and then forge a united front against the threat. If we cannot identify who they are and what their activities constitute, then we may not be in a position to deal decisively with the danger it poses to the region and the country as a whole.

    Some people have tried to rationalise that poverty is a major causal factor that has fuelled the activities of the violent Islamist sect coupled with long years of neglect by the government of the North. How true is this?

    There are too many interpretations and suggestions as to the factors responsible for the emergence of Boko Haram. Yes, poverty could be identified as one of the reasons. When the youths are unemployed and no hope of being employed anytime soon, that will certainly exacerbate the kind of crisis we are confronted with. There is a saying that the most dangerous person on earth is that person who has nothing to lose.

    These youths are detached from their parents. They are seeking a means of eking out a living. Yet there is no employment anywhere for them. So they are ready and willing recruits by those who do not wish the country well, whether it is Boko Haram, the militants or the kidnappers, poverty has a lot to do with this. It is nationwide.

    There is this theory that the North is more poverty-stricken when compared to the South. But from my reading of the situation today, poverty is all over the land. Youth unemployment is all over the land, hopelessness is all over the land. And there is also the issue of corruption. A situation where 90 per cent of the country’s resources are in the hands of only two per cent of the population, it is a recipe for disaster and anarchy in the land.

    Today, our universities are producing graduates that cannot be gainfully employed. The general economic situation is so bad and worrisome that we no longer have the middle class. 90 per cent of the country’s population is living below poverty line and that is not a good storyline for the country.

    So this kind of dark and ugly scenario has the tendency to put pressure on the idle youths to want to seek for some something violent to engage their time.

    With the economy of the North completely on its knees, social life absent in the region, what would you say leaders like you and others have done to resolve the standoff?

    You see, today, when people talk of Northern leaders, I do not think they know who they are talking about. Are they talking about the so-called elders, the governors or members of the National Assembly? Who are they referring to? But if you are talking of the elders like most people tend to emphasise on nowadays, you must ask yourself, what do these leaders have at their disposal to be able take on Boko Haram or solve the problem of the sect that the Federal Government does not have?

    The Northern leaders people often refer to are usually very difficult to define. Are we referring to religious leaders like the Christian or Moslem heads? And if the answer is yes, do they have the police or the military or the courts. So, if the Northern leaders they are referring to do not have these means, it is difficult to see how they can solve the problem of Boko Haram. The solution to the menace of Boko Haram is the responsibility of all Nigerians, irrespective of geographical or ethnic affiliation or extraction. Unless every Nigerian gets behind the Federal Government to think of ways or means by which Boko Haram can be defeated, we cannot make any headway. So, Northern leaders are not the police, soldiers or the courts. They are civilians like other civilians who have neither guns nor bullets at their disposal.

    The elite generally have the responsibility to allow for the growth of the middle class. Unless there is employment and less corruption in the land, that is only when there will be a reduction in the wave of violent crime in the country.

    Do you think the Federal Government has been proactive enough in dealing with the scourge of Boko Haram or what should it be doing differently?

    Well, government has a responsibility to solve not only the menace of Boko Haram, but all other anti-social vices in the country. And it can do this through empowering and creation of opportunities. All the tiers of government have a responsibility and must demonstrate that in the way they manage their economy to impact on the youth and the unemployed. It is another way to go about it.

    Governments at all levels must be seen to be genuinely fighting corruption in such a way that it makes it extremely impossible for just two per cent of the population to control the resources of this country. The ever- widening gap between the rich and the poor is another problem that gives rise to the emergence of violent groups in the country.

    There is a saying that if the economy cannot assist many who are poor in like manner, it cannot save the few rich. When people wake up to find out that those who are not contributing to the growth of the economy are making it big, there is the tendency for those who are contributing, but not making it to think of adopting the strategy of their opposite counterparts.

    How do you react to the criticism of former President Olusegun Obasanjo against President Jonathan’s handling of the Boko Haram challenge?

    In fact, I was very surprised that former President Obasanjo had to take on President Jonathan on his handling of Boko Haram. People are still talking about the operations he ordered in Odi and Zaki Biam that were considered high-handed. People like former Chief of Army Staff, General Victor Malu, threatened to take him to the International Criminal Court for what he referred to as genocide in Zaki Biam.

    President Goodluck Jonathan was on a national television sometime ago talking about the massacre of innocent elderly women and children in an operation ordered by Obasanjo. He said after the massacre, nothing came out of the Odi debacle. In the end, the problem of militancy was not solved with the massacre of innocent children and women by the band of soldiers deployed by Obasanjo.

    I really do not understand why Obasanjo should think of the use of what he thought was a good strategy in dealing with Odi and Zaki Biam crises to deal with other groups in the country. Does Boko Haram have a fixed location like the militancy in Odi? We are talking about a group that does not have a fixed or permanent address. So why would Obasanjo want Jonathan to adopt the same tactics he used in Odi?

    From what is coming out now, it is obvious that Obasanjo’s strategy in Odi and Zaki Biam did not achieve its desired result in curbing militancy in the region, and to that extent, I do not see how the same approach can be applied in dealing with Boko Haram.

    Governor Rabiu Kwankwaso of Kano State recently said the South was getting richer at the expense of the North. What exactly do you think was on his mind when he made the statement and is the North truly getting poorer and if so, why?

    Governor Rabiu Kwankwas’s statement was ironic. And I want to look at it from two perspectives, one of which is that we are becoming more and more dependent on oil which is not the right strategy for the growth of the economy of this country.

    What some countries are doing is to try and diversify their economy from being solely dependent on one source of commodity. Our continuous dependence on oil revenue to drive the economy cannot last for forever. This is for two reasons: world oil prices are bound to suffer the effect of fluctuation and so, it is dangerous to depend on oil revenue to run the economy.

    Secondly, the operations of oil exploration are destroying the Niger Delta more and more. So, I feel that there will be less oil activities in the Niger Delta in the long run. From my understanding of the situation on ground today, I feel that what the oil and non-oil producing states should begin to do is to use the little allocations they are getting now to expand their internally-generated revenue base and to look for other sources of funding and not depend wholly on oil revenue.

    The North, for instance, should begin to think of expanding its agricultural activities and industry. More and more countries are developing without oil than with oil. There are more states in the South which are non-oil-producing just like the North. So, if they are not crying, I wonder why the North should be crying. The question is that what have the states done with the so-called little revenue they have been getting from the centre?

    There are a few states today that are putting their allocations to good use. It is even more worrisome to hear that an oil-producing state is borrowing money to finance projects and pay its contractors. The truth is that very few states are putting their oil money to good use.

    What I want to emphasise essentially is that states must diversify their sources of revenue by exploring other sources to boost the economy of their states than continue to wait for handouts from the Federal Government.

    Again, I do not know why people try to dichotomize between the North and the South when it comes to the issue of development. The truth is that the entire states of the federation are poorer than they had ever been. How many states are truly developing their economies with the allocations they are getting? There is embezzlement going on in all the states of the federation by their chief executives, council chairmen and their commissioners.

    But there is this idea that the North is getting poorer while the South is becoming richer and richer. When the World Bank carried out a survey the last time, it found out that Nigeria was getting poorer. We must not dichotomize on the basis of the North and South when we are trying to analyze the economic performance of Nigeria. It is a fact that today, over 80 per cent of Nigeria’s population are living below poverty line. This percentage cuts across religious, cultural and geographical lines. So, it is fallacious for Kwankwaso to think that the North is poorer than the South.

    There are currently agitations across the country for the creation of more states by the National Assembly Committee on Constitution Review. Do you think there are justifiable grounds for the creation of more states?

    I do not want to be drawn into the arithmetic of state creation or be engaged in doing a balancing act over which region has less or more states than the other. But what I want to tell you here is that one of the greatest tragedies of our national development today is the creation of so many states. And one of the main causes of our backwardness today is the number of states and local government areas.

    If it were possible to cut down on the number of states and bring them to a more manageable size, I would gladly welcome that. Any attempt to continue to create more administrative units simply for the purpose of getting oil revenue from the centre will spell doom in the long run.

    We have to be honest with ourselves, how many of these states are really viable? I know that I would have stepped on so many toes by the time this interviewed is being read by those clamouring for a state of their own. But the truth must be said, no matter who may be affected.

    However, having said this, it is up to those saddled with the responsibility of reviewing the constitution to look at the various issues dispassionately. In the end, national interest must be seen to be paramount. It is not in the interest of this country to continue to create more administrative units. That is my position. I really do not want to get involved in how many states the North has and how many are in the South East or South West. The more we keep talking about what divides us, the more we remain divided.

    Nigeria is 35th most corrupt country in the corruption index released by the Transparency International. Is this a statement about the helplessness or complicity of the government in the fight against corruption?

    I am not surprised with the position of Nigeria as the 35th most corrupt country in the world. The truth is, the government has not done enough to end the scourge of corruption. When I say the government, I mean the executive, the legislature and the judiciary.

    What we have seen is the occasional dramatic way government advertises its effort at fighting corruption. Once in a while, it will make some arrest and cause it to be shown on a national television after which nothing is heard again. Or the suspect’s file is sent to the EFCC with a lot of fanfare and the man is arraigned in court and there will be a lot of manipulation to delay the process or prosecution of the suspect.

    The Federal Government is always quick to point to cases of corruption and then goes ahead to effect arrest. After the arrest, nothing happens and the court begins to play a kind of filibuster and delay the process with a series of adjournments. At the end, the government will beat its chest that it has achieved a feat in the fight against corruption.

    Some five years ago, some former governors were arrested on charges of corruption, but as we speak, there has been no conviction. In fact, in the last three years, none of the governors has gone back to court to appeal his arraignment. What that tells you is that the fight against corruption has not been sincere in that respect.

    The judiciary is as guilty as the executive of the process militating against the war on corruption. There have been cases of alleged inducements by suspects, culminating in adjournments. Take a look at the National Assembly, they engage in a lot of investigations after which reports are written and they are heard no more. That is the situation we have found ourselves as a nation.

    A case in point is the Police Pension Fund. Up till today, we have not been told what went wrong. So, the National Assembly has not been vigorous in getting the executive and the judiciary to do their own part of prosecuting because they are neck deep in corruption themselves. Another instance is the case involving Mr. Farouk Lawan. Up till now the House of Representatives has not told us the complicity of Lawan in the fuel subsidy bribery saga.

    You can see that the fight against corruption is done in the most lackadaisical fashion. The three organs of government are not serious about stemming the tide of corruption.

    Ahead of 2015, there have been clamours that power should shift. Would you say the agitations are well informed or are rather misplaced and where should power shift to?

    As far as I am concerned, it is extremely counter-productive and retrogressive to be harping on power shift all for the sake of power shifting to a small clique from the region asking for power to shift in 2015. If you probe further, when people are asking for power to shift to the North, they are asking that power should actually shift to their own men or to themselves and specifically, to their zone.

    When they say power should shift to the North, they have a particular place in mind and exactly where the man from the North comes from. It is either to themselves or to their own men and not just any man from the North. So, they are not fighting for the North, but for their own selfish interest.

    Even those advocating that power should remain in the South, they already have a fixed address in mind. It is not often the whole region, but a small section of the region.

    So, even when they agree on power shift to the North, they will tell you oh, power should shift to the North East or the North West or North Central. There is a need to be wary of the intentions of this group of power shift advocates.

    For me, power should reside anywhere in the country where the best man resides. This country is one and from wherever the best man emerges, the man from the North West, North East, South West, South East or North Central should vote for him. Nigerians should begin to disregard ethnic jingoists camouflaging as nationalists.

  • What should be the right attitude of young women hoping for marriage?

    Dear Adeola, I love reading your page a lot. I am particularly fascinated by the edition of 24th November 2012. I like the way you answered the issue raised by the 16 year old girl. Without reading your reply, I felt very bad about what the girl wrote. Your answer drew my respect for you as a mother. You were truthful in what you said. I want you in future to chastise such girls and go a step forward to reprimand parents under whose carelessness such things happen.

    At 16, such girls should be tied to their mothers’ apron learning how to sweep, how to prepare food and should be made to carry bibles on their heads while going to church.

    On the issues of love discussed, you did well. But can you say something about girls who are due for marriage but despise men so much and think that by shunning men, they will get a suitor. Can you please write on the right attitude expected of a girl of 30 who hopes to marry in life.

    I would have told the attitude of a particular girl, but I do not want to taint your thinking with my bias. Please let us be educated again as usual. Is this attitude of ‘I must drag it with him’ right from a lady? Is festering every issue a positive attribute from a lady? Thank you. – Ifeoluwa

    Dear Ifeoluwa, when girls are advanced in age, it is easy for men to think that they are easy conquests. What men do not know however is that the more advanced a woman is in age, the wiser about men she is. Do not forget that at a certain age, a smart woman can smell a serious guy from a distance and would rather remain single than dabble into a relationship that will break her already broken heart (not in all cases are the hearts broken). So in order not to start a relationship that is doomed from the beginning, a woman might withdraw from you no matter how nice you may be.

    Women know what they want in a man. Do not forget that marriage is not a one-time thing. So, a smart woman would want a man she can be proud of long after the wedding ceremonies. It may not be enough that a guy is good-looking or that he has a good job. There are other factors women look out for before giving you the come-on signs. There may be something about your personality that she may not be too comfortable with and she may think you and her cannot have lasting companionship.

    At a particular stage in a woman’s life, especially if she’s really confident, she has to feel that she’s perfectly attracted to you. Yes, you may not be physically perfect but she’s looking for a man that

    will balance her out in the future. She may not be looking anymore for a hot stud who is smart, athletic, funny and successful. She may be looking for a soul mate, a real partner, a father for her unborn children and so, she’s looking for a real man who will play the roles well.

    For instance, if you have earrings in your ears and she’s already climbing the ladder in her profession, you will not be a good match.

    If you do not have manners and she’s at that stage when she’s taking lessons in etiquette then you’re off the radar as far as she’s concerned. And if tattoos and she just got promoted to the management team, you don’t even stand a chance.  In fact, you are totally incompatible in qualities.

    Always keep in mind that the fact that a girl is advanced in age doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what she wants. A woman desirous of a long and happy marriage knows that she has waited enough, so she’s ready to wait for the right guy. When she meets a guy who gives her the most excitement and the biggest soul connection, she won’t dare despise that kind of guy. I bet, she will look for ways to encourage him.

    Having said that, this is to all ladies out there who are good but advanced in age, check out the tips below and catch for yourselves good gusy: Confidence, independence, an inviting smile, a sense of humor. The important thing for every woman is to be approachable. Your body language says everything when wanting to attract a man. If you go out at night with your girlfriends and you spend the entire evening as part of a pack, how is a guy supposed to come over and strike up a conversation?

    Alternatively, how is a guy going to take you seriously if you are all over him and fondling him in a public place?

    It may sound like a no-brainer, but if you’re the kind of girl who really likes sports, go to a game or a sports bar to find your man. But if you’re also smart and looking for a guy who can keep up, wear a sweatshirt from your university. You may run into a sports-loving guy from your alma mater. Being true to yourself is the best way to find a guy who will be true to you too. Don’t go to trendy club looking to find a match if your real idea of a good time is going to a book club.

    Doing this you will discover a man who shares your interests, and most importantly, appreciates you for you.

    When it’s all said and done, patience is always the key to attracting the kind of man that you want. Never settling, never getting discouraged and taking your time is going to make finding your perfect man all the sweeter.

  • …every girl

    Every girl wants to be engaged to a serious man and wish to get married, but what kind of man will want to engage a babe with status like – ‘Liquids loadin’, Elegushi loadin’, ‘Movida on point’, ‘Wine bar Abuja toh bad’, ‘6 bottles I gallant’, ‘Clubbing mode activated’, ‘Champaign rain’, “Missing my bed tonite’, ‘Off to Crystal Lounge’, “Am gonna party real hard 2nite’ ‘Owerri, Benin, Lagos, PH, Abuja, Asaba, Bayelsa on my mind’, ‘Painting Accra blue and red’, ‘Dubai n Italy tins’…

    You wear skimpy cloths, almost naked, loud nails and paintings you call makeups and you put it as your DP (display picture). You put DPs that you took in different hotels, hotel bedrooms and bathrooms. You then put ‘Alhaji thank you’ or ‘Baby thank you’ as your bf (boyfriend) no get name). Or you put ‘Senator, God bless you’, ‘Hon. You’re too much’. You take pictures in different cars; are you a driver?

    Ipad 3, Bold 5, Porsche as DP and your boyfriend dey use Curve 2. Brazilian hair. Romanian hair. Peruvian hair etc. Who is fooling who?…….

    Some babes never ready!!! Or you think those men ain’t seeing them? You better have a rethink. Maybe when you are 33 years, you’ll change your status to ‘Church on ma mind’, ‘I love Jesus’, ‘Jesus saves’.

    At 35 years you begin to say all men are evil.

    At 37 you no go miss any church service or crusade again. By then you don expire comot for market.

    Fresh adventurous babes full university dey roll out, then beef go start. You spend hours in your saloon gossiping about younger girls, other married girls and how bad men are.

    I know say many girls go vex but sharing this might save a frustrated depressed girl before it’s too late. All good men & Women should please rebroadcast and save a frustrated girl.

  • Women are everywhere but queens are scarce

    Beauty attracts men, but wisdom keeps them. Elegance catches men’s attention but intelligence convinces them.

    Nagging irritates men but constructive silence weakens them. The boy in every man pumps out occasionally, the ability to handle this is a woman’s truest maturity.

    Men have secret struggles and silent pains, should you ever find them out, you have exhibited the greatest maturity. In the long run, your words matter more to a man than your ‘looks’ so invest in the right words.

    Earn a man’s respect and he will consider you the yardstick for all his action. Learn to mould the moods of your man. Men will naturally give you their futures if they can recall your maturity in yesterday’s issues….

    Women are everywhere but queens are scarce. Let the queen in you come alive and he will hold you in high esteem. Share this to any beautiful woman you know and also to any man who knows a beautiful woman.

  • Talent called Balogun Danjuma Omo Baale Dale Katunsa

    Though I have two Facebook profiles with over 8,000 followership between the two and so many yet-to-be confirmed friends, but I’m not a die-hard Facebook person. Facebook for me is about keeping in touch with old friends and maintaining contact with fans and new friends. I must confess that I like learning from wise posts too and I never fail to visit the walls of those I have identified as reasonable and wise people.

    I really can’t remember at what stage I began to notice Balogun OmoBaale DaleKatunsa, but somehow, he crept so much into my sub-conscious that I began to look out for his posts on the home page.

    Before long, I was visiting his wall and even contributing to some of his posts. Yes, Balogin Danjuma is sometimes crazy and sometimes so hilarious that I find myself laughing out loud (LOL), but he could be sometimes wise and right on point.

    That he writes about relationships some of the time has really endeared him to me. Balogun has a way of putting some things that I sometimes frown at, but that doesn’t take away the fact that he makes a whole lot of sense.

    Other than the few times I have actually met him online and had interactions with him, I’ve never met Balogun. But at this stage in my life, I should encourage talents when I see it. Balogun is a raw talent and I’m embracing him. It takes a lot of sit down and write and draw up followership. So, when I see a young person making efforts to stand apart from the yahoo-yahoo guys of our days and make a difference, I want to hug that person.

    I’m hugging you today Balogun Danjuma for the nice things you have written and published on Facebook. Thanks for granting me the permission to share some of them today on my page. Keep writing and please, compile some of these things you’ve written and do a book one day. I wish you the very best.

  • Sever all ties with the crap-giving guy before frolicking with the new guy

    If a guy treats a lady like crap and she meets someone that treats her like a queen, of course she has to sever all ties with the crap-giving guy before frolicking with the new guy okay, when you are still in a relationship with someone and you have another lover on the side, it’s cheating my dear. The same applies for guys.

    I’m sure you know there are people who have partners that treat them like goddesses or gods and yet they cheat! What do you call that?

    Greed! It’s human nature.

    If we don’t learn to be disciplined and positively or morally principled, what we face now in relationships and marital issues would be like child’s play in the nearest future. An individual cheats on a perfectly okay partner.

    When I say perfectly okay, I mean, (using a male as an example) physically he’s an Adonis! Sexually he delivers pinpoint heavenly pleasure, he treats her like a queen, he’s an awesome father and possesses other laudable attributes, yet one day she cheats on him. It happens every day and when you ask the cheating partner, they cannot explain why they did it. Very funny, they blame the devil forgetting that we