The Nation Newspaper

Category: Weekend Treat

  • COVID-19 lockdown: Behold celebs’ keep fit routines

    COVID-19 lockdown: Behold celebs’ keep fit routines

    Kehinde OLULEYE

     

    The COVID-19 crisis has taken so many things away from Nigerians and others– Health, fun, parties, businesses, peace of mind and,sadly, lives. But one thing that the deadly virus has not quite succeeded in snatching away from our celebs and the rest of us is our keep fit culture.

    Of course, the crisis has shut down our gyms and open fields suitable for exercises. Recall that recently some folks who dared the government’s might in Lagos and turned some parts of the Gbagada Expressway into an open gym were arrested by law enforcement agents.

    Banky-W

    So, how then have our celebs and other Nigerians sustained the keep fit culture? How are they burning off the excess fat and pot bellies that many are developing from spending weeks at home?

    In the first week of the lockdown, people simply flocked the Internet to search home exercise routines, other simple body movements that could replace full exercise in cramped places and general healthy living routines.

    Tony Elemelu

    Most of the people who did so were inspired by messages from the authorities and experts that moderate exercise, vitamins, foods and social distancing will boost the immune system against COVID-19.

    By living and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, especially during the COVID-19 lockdown, you can keep safe.

    As everyone knows already, with good hygiene and nutrition, you could build high immunity against infection, have a good facial appearance, and look beautiful at any age.

    For this, Nigerians, who spent time on social media or the Internet looking for inspiration,  didn’t have to look far.

    Nigerian economist, entrepreneur, philanthropist  and chairman of Heirs Holdings and United Bank for Africa, Tony Elumelu; Nollywood actress and model,Kate Henshaw; hip-pop superstar, Peter Okoye, are some of the celebrities who share their keep fit regimes.

    These celebrities have some things in common: they are super fit; they take their fitness routines seriously and their skins are well textured and toned.

    Tony Elemelu

    While most celebrities only share photos of their latest cars and houses on the social media, these ones share thesnippets of their lives and lots of exercise photos.

    So, here are tips that will help you to develop new keep fit habits in this partial lockdown and over time, as gleaned from some of our celebrities’ routine exercise/ healthy living habits.

    • First and foremost, drink a lot of water daily. This will especially keep the skin warm, hydrated and moist and flush out waste materials and impurities. Little intake of water dehydrates the skin.
    • Be a healthy eater. What you eat daily has a great impact on how your system can fight off germs and skin regenerates. The consumption of plenty fruits and vegetables are good steps toward fighting off germs and having vibrant skin all year round.
    • Avoid excess sugar, salt, starchy and carbohydrate food. These foods will not provide your body with the vitamins and minerals it needs to develop and maintain a healthy body system.
    • Find the time and means to do a bit of exercise. Get up and walk round the room for some minutes; do press ups, skipping and all sorts.
    • Do away with iced and drinks as well as carbonated juices, and quit cigarettes.
    • Have your facemask and hand gloves handy. Wash your hands with soap and apply sanitizers always!
  • Art of self-love for a healthy relationship

    Art of self-love for a healthy relationship

    With Rois Ola

     

    WHEN it comes to what is necessary to have healthy, thriving, passionate, intimate and trusting relationships, we are all looking for answers. Can it really be something as simple as self-love?

    We are all looking for the secret ingredient to the perfect relationship recipe that will fix all of our problems with our significant others. We are obsessed with how to love properly, how to express it in the right way and what we can fix about ourselves in order to do so.

    It’s all about you

    While this might seem a bit obvious – that the answer lies within – it’s the realist, harshest and most overwhelming/intimidating truth out there.

    Accepting yourself as you are is the answer to how to create the healthiest romantic relationship possible.

    Definitely not an easy road

    Self-love isn’t all about body positivity and incorporating new self-care routine (although those are important). At first, it is actually much more difficult.

    Self-love is staring your inner demons in the face until they cease to exist.

    It is facing your traumas, your insecurities, your mistakes, and your flaws, and overcoming them all.

    It is forgiving yourself for being imperfect.

    It is forgiving those that have hurt you – no matter how badly – and releasing those resentments for your own good.

    It is addressing where you have been toxic to yourself and to other people, and doing the work it takes to change it.

    It requires a lot of honesty with yourself, which can be a very difficult thing to do. However, once achieved, turns into something truly amazing.

    It will transform you

    While you once looked in the mirror with loathing and disgust, you now look in the mirror and see your best friend staring back at you.

    While you once were going to extreme lengths to change your outward appearance, you now only work on doing what is best for your optimal health.

    While you once settled, you now have raised standards.

    While some may state that this is conceited, it is extremely necessary that self-love and self-care become daily practices.

    Being single should not be scary

    If you are single, then self-love is your highest priority. It is easy to fall into the trap of constantly questioning why everyone around you is seemingly able to find love, while you are always struggling with it. It can cause you to find faults within yourself and highlight insecurities instead of provoking love for who you are.

    Try not to let it make you look desperate

    It can cause you to settle for the first person to come along that shows interest. The first spark that you feel with someone else can feel like potential for a serious relationship. Sometimes, however, a spark is just that – a spark. It burns brightly for a split second, then it dies.

    Read Also: Ways to save struggling relationship

     

    We want to believe so badly that that spark is what we have been looking for, so we try to force a connection with someone who may not be a good fit for us at all.

    It’s like we try to squeeze this person into a mold of what we want them to be, but no matter how hard we force it, they will never fit. The fear of being single is so strong that we would rather settle for a once brightly lit spark that died out fast and is now nothing but a cold pile of ash.

    This is because we don’t love ourselves enough to turn down those that aren’t a good fit for us.

    What you really are missing from your life is you

    We have this notion that being alone is a negative thing. Yes, humans are social beings and are not meant to live alone forever. However, being comfortable alone is how to find love with someone else that you so desperately crave.

    When we are happy alone, we stop settling

    The fear of being single can be overcome when we genuinely enjoy being with ourselves. We have the confidence that someone else will eventually come along because, hell, we’re a catch. We are the complete package and anyone would be lucky to date us.

    We will eventually find someone who is compatible, who speaks a complementary love language, and that treats us how we deserve to be treated.

    Self-love teaches us that we can’t imagine settling for a spark when we deserve an eternal flame.

    It is one of the foundations for fulfilling relationships, alongside feeling safe with your significant other.

    The love that you feel like you have been missing your whole life isn’t the love you receive from a relationship, but the love you give and receive yourself. Then, when somebody else comes along they only add to the existing love you already have.

    When you treat yourself without respect or love, you basically give others permission to do the same. So set high standards for yourself. Be able to stand up for yourself and say “I’m better than this. I’m not going to tolerate this happening to me.”

    If you don’t love yourself first, you’re not going to have any standard as to how others should treat you. When you have that unconditional self-love, it’s a lot easier to recognize when people are giving you less than you deserve.

    You’ll notice that as you grow in your self-love journey, you’ll cut ties with certain people because you realize they don’t make you feel good, they don’t uplift you, and they don’t help you grow. Yeah, it can be hard, and can even hurt.

    However, as your self-love increases, your tolerance for negativity, and disrespect decreases, and these toxic relationships just won’t be worth your time and energy anymore.

    Depending on other people to make you feel loved can result in unhealthy relationships not only with others, but with yourself. Honestly, if you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself, you can’t reflect love very well in your relationships with others anyway.

    At least not in the way that you could if you loved yourself first. This is the same concept as “you can’t pour from an empty cup” when we’re talking about self-care. Know your true, genuine self, and let your light shine. That way, whoever you attract is loving you for you, and not some sort of compromised version of you.

    So in a nutshell, self-love is healthy in a relationship. It is the art of  learning how to enjoy your space,  learning how to enjoy you, being happy with who you are even with your flaws and seeking to be better than who you were yesterday. I wish you all the best.

  • HAUWA ALLAHBURA: I admire and look up to Oprah Winfrey

    HAUWA ALLAHBURA: I admire and look up to Oprah Winfrey

     

    Hauwa Allahbura is an actress and producer from Northern Nigeria. She has been part of movies and soaps like Battleground, Tinsel and Gidi Blues. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about her passion, memorable moments and the impact of COVID-19.

     

    TELL us about life as CEO and entrepreneur?

    I would say that being an entrepreneur has always been a major drive and motivation for me all through my career, hence the birth of Cut24 Productions. It is a production outfit that specialises in film making, commercials and world-class documentaries. My life as The Chief Executive Officer for Cut24 Productions is quite interesting but also very challenging. I spend most of my time in strategy and ideation sessions, trying to develop the next big thing in the motion graphics industry. Interestingly, I have just taken over this position in 2019 and we are currently working on how to move the company forward by  doing a lot of preproduction sessions for our future projects.  This is what I signed up for so I am enjoying the process.

    As an entrepreneur, I have also ventured into a café business with a team of innovative Individuals working 24/7 to grow the business.  As you know, being an entrepreneur involves taking extreme risk. So, I am happy to say the few companies I have set up are profitable.

    What inspired you to go into business?

    I honestly don’t think you need to be inspired to go into business. On the other hand, you need inspiration to bring to life the kind of business that can transform lives. Truth be told, you either have it in you or you don’t. I also think not everyone must be a business man or woman, some people are created to  be part of a strong team or work with government or multinationals. I have always wanted to start a business. But before I did, I worked in various places for experience and decided the right time to start mine fully was in 2019.

    What are the challenges you envisage with the COVID-19 pandemic?

    The COVID-19 pandemic reminds us of our shared fragility; it also demonstrates how everything and everyone is truly connected. We see that the environment we live in is connected to the human condition; that eradicating the pandemic in one community or state will never be achieved unless it is done in all communities or states; and that the success and safety of front-line responders are linked to our willingness to stay home. But the challenge I’ll like to speak about is the hunger virus affecting road side businesses, the one shop owners and the millions of people that survive on daily income. This is the challenge that is closest to my heart and can’t really be found on google or social media.

    The people who have no access to internet, the people who sell food stuff on the road, when you are having your daily trip. The person who sells sweet and chewing gum, that woman who sells roasted yam in high traffic locations, most of them have no bank accounts. Some have no savings, they make, they spend. Some of these government programs won’t even get to them. My biggest fear is people dying from hunger and not the virus. All that can be accounted for right now are the figures from NCDC, what we don’t know is how many people have died from hunger. This saddens me so much mainly due to the fact that I wish my initiative ‘The 24 Angels’ was in existence with adequate data. Our launch date was scheduled for the 24th of May before the breakout of the Pandemic.

    What do you think can be done to alleviate the situation?

    There should be some sort of palliative by the government to reach the mass populace. It could be in form of a free health care scheme, foodbank established in each local government area in partnership with a reputable foundation, micro financing scheme (with reduced interest rate) to help the small and medium scale enterprises. There surely needs to be several interventions for the mass populace post COVID-19 crisis.

    What is your advice to people at this period of lockdown?

    It is a time for rediscovery. Time to Learn, Unlearn and Re-learn. This period has shown that a lot can be done and accomplished virtually. So my advice would be to use this time to learn a new skill, improve on old skills and read up on latest online/virtual business modules. Also, many schools and institutions are offering free courses across different disciplines. The aim should be to equip themselves with as much useful information as possible.

    Tell us about life as actress and producer?

    Acting is something I enjoy. I started acting in 2015 with my first role being Nkem on Gidi Blues by Femi Odugbemi. When we shot Gidi Blues, I was an associate producer and I was just starting out. After that, I starred in TV shows like Tinsel and Battleground before I ventured full into productions. At some point, I weighed my love and strength for acting vs producing. I noticed I was fully in my element behind the scenes. It was absolutely something that challenged me and gave me fulfilment. In 2019, I took a break from acting to fully concentrate on building my film company Cut24 Productions. I plan on taking it to deserved heights.

    What was the first movie that you participated in?

    My first Film was shot in 2015 and aired in 2016. It’s called Gidi Blues.

    What are some of the memorable moments in acting?

    Acting was the first big step I took in my journey to become an entertainment mogul. It was a learning curve. It gave me insights to understanding the mind of actors, crew members and producers. It also brought  me closer to my ultimate goal and I’m extremely excited that I’m still on this journey.

    What were the initial challenges, did you feel like quitting at any point?

    I believe there is nothing profitable or of importance that won’t come with some sort of challenges. For me, the early stage challenges would be having to stay up late, constantly perfect my script or act, having to juggle different things I had my hands on. But in all these, I never felt like quitting, maybe just taking breaks in between to refresh my creativity. I definitely enjoy acting and it is something that I would always go back into. For now, my focus and energy is in making Cut24 Productions one of the biggest film and television companies in Africa.

    Tell us about the people you admire?

    I admire a few people but I really do admire and look up to Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry. Oprah for obvious reasons, the tenacity to build her own empire, being the first Black American multi-billionaire. When most of us knew her as the host and owner of the Oprah Winfrey show, I wanted to be so much like her from when I was in primary school.  I speak of her in high esteem as a trend setter and not a trend follower. Tyler Perry is currently the highest paid man in Entertainment. He started from nothing and now he is employing the most African American in the film world. From one of his most inspiring interview stating that ‘Blacks in Hollywood are fighting to be given a seat at the table and rather he decided to build his own table in Atlanta’. That is the drive I admire the most, the ability and drive to create something extraordinary from absolutely nothing.

    What are the other things that occupy your time?

    To be honest, spending quality time with friends and family and of course traveling. I love to travel and hopefully after the Covid-19 pandemic is over, there would be new adventures and opportunities to explore.

    What is your definition of style?

    I believe style should always be determined by occasion and moments. My style truly is flexibility, either extra-extra comfortable and glam when the need arises.

    What are the things that you won’t do in the name of fashion?

    This is a tough question for someone who has a laid back comfortable style. I am not familiar with the concept of going out of my way for fashion, its best to just be you.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life?

    The passion to conquer and excel in the greatest influence in my life. I want to excel in whatever venture I find myself in while also helping and changing lives along the way.

    How would you describe Nigerian designers today?

    Just like Nollywood, the world is starting to appreciate Nigerian designers. They have been able to cross cultural boundaries and showcase ingenuity. You now see their styles being featured in top magazines around the world, in top TV fashion shows and runway event. The quality of their designs are top notch. I wear a lot of their products and I am really happy with what they offer me.

  • Can one maintain a civil relationship with an ex?

    Can one maintain a civil relationship with an ex?

    By Vera Chidi-Maha

    Hi people! Hope we are staying safe and indoors. Taking responsibility is the name of the game.

    Truth remains that we need to be level headed and calm in order to make it in this part of the world. Having said that, I appreciate your messages to me, concerning the column, and I am sorry, if I’ve not been able to reply all. You guys have really given me reasons to go on, especially in this lockdown era.  Even to my critics, I thank you also for your constructive criticisms. Please keep sending your views; it really keeps me on my toes.

    Due to space constraints, I can only publish a handful of your sent messages, not today though, but be rest assured that they have been fully read and noted. The chemistry between a man and a woman cannot be explained, understood or over emphasized. Often times, we find ourselves falling head over heels  in love with a particular individual and at that point when we do fall in love other things and even other people naturally become secondary.

    At a time, we cannot get enough of each other. Some people when in love will practically worship the ground that their significant other walks on. Really, it can really be fun when one is in love. But today, we are not talking on that. On the contrary, we would want to talk about when you are no more in love and each one of you have gone your separate ways. Yes, we are aware of the sweet things that we had hitherto promised each other when the going was good. We are after all human, we can renege on our words, whether intentionally or otherwise, but it sure happens to us.

    Call it fate or perhaps destiny, but sometimes we do run into our past lovers and it could even be accidental. So, what happens if you eventually or coincidentally run into your ex? Do you walk on by? Do you exchange pleasantries or phone numbers? Well, to a large extent it could depend on the way you parted ways in the first place. Some part ways as a result of a mutual agreement while some part ways on a very bitter note. Applying civility into whatever relationship we find ourselves depends on a number of factors. Some of those factors can be one’s academic background or better still one’s orientation.

    When we do run into our ex-bobo or ex-baby, it is expected of us to be civil.  Sometimes we could still be hurting, but there might be no need to show it. This will help keep what is left of our pride, especially if the case is the fact that we were dumped by the other party. If we still wear long faces when we run into our ex, it proves to that person that they still have a hold over us. No one should have that kind of hold over another. The only hitch, however, can be when one’s ex wants to pick – up where they left off.

    An ex – governor of Ekiti State once dated my childhood friend long before he became a governor. According to my friend, their relationship was the envy of all their friends at that time. But, as they grew in their careers, they each went their separate ways and moved on with their lives. Today, my friend is married with kids and although from time to time, the thought of her ex flashes through her mind. But being a responsibly married woman, she quickly kills the thought as soon as it comes to her. Years went by and the thoughts of her ex gradually faded. My friend called me up during the recently  and told me how she ran into her ex at a book launch in Lagos. According to her the reunion was quite interesting as they could not stop talking. Considering the fact that they did not part on an unhappy note, they spontaneously tried to play catch – up (if you like) and even lost track of time.  When they parted ways on that day they had both exchanged phone numbers. Her worry now is that since that day, her ex has not stopped calling her. Though she said that since they are both married to different people,  he has not in any way made passes at her. What she is most worried about is that she now finds herself looking forward to receiving his calls. And when he fails to call due to his busy schedules, she can’t get him off her mind. Now she is torn between telling him to stop calling her or telling her husband about meeting her ex again, years after they went their separate ways.

    No doubt in my mind she loves her husband and daughter dearly, but she is now blaming herself for exchanging numbers with him in the first place. Question is, should she have been rude and refused to say hello to him and throw courtesy to the wind? Or should she have been courteous but firm? Is her ex to blame for calling her ceaselessly not minding the fact that she could start having ideas? In fairness to the ex – gov, he has not given her any reason to think that he might be considering a reunion with her. Does this now mean that one should be an enemy to one’s ex in order to play safe?

    A colleague saw me writing this particular piece and decided to tell me her own story. Briefly, she said to me that just months ago, she ran into her ex – boyfriend, a medical doctor. Now, between that day and now, the guy has called her up like (45) times. It is not his calls that bother her, it is the fear of jumping into bed with him after he dumped her for another girl.

    In conclusion, a naughty friend of mine once said to me ”Vera, once knacked, always knackable” meaning that once a guy sleeps with a lady, even years after they have parted ways, they could still make love, because the chemistry can be easily rekindled. How true is that?   

  • Fun things to do with the kids in lockdown (1)

    Fun things to do with the kids in lockdown (1)

    By Vera Chidi-Maha

    We’re all spending a lot more time at home at the moment which means we’re having to come up with new ways to keep the kids entertained.

    While most schools are sending out work and we’re inundated with lists of home education apps, there have never been more resources on hand to keep our children learning.

    Carol Vorderman is offering free maths lessons, David Walliams has released 30 free audio stories and Joe Wicks has become the nation’s PE teacher with his daily YouTube fitness class – for those that have stuck at it anyway.

    But there’s so much more that kids can benefit from too. From arts and crafts to nature trails and a whole load of Easter fun, we’ve got all sorts of ideas to keep kids of all ages entertained.

    Some of the ideas have been shared on the popular Family Lockdown Tips & Ideas Facebook page, which has proved massively popular since launching just a few weeks ago.

    Set up by mum Claire Balkind, it has already amassed more than a million members and is growing by the day.

    1. Rainbows

    You can’t walk anywhere at the moment without seeing a rainbow in someone’s window.

    That’s because families have been busy painting and drawing them as a display of togetherness and to give children something to spot while out on their walks.

    But you don’t have to stop at paint or crayons. Cara Ghiglieri’s children Scarlett and Leo made an amazing rainbow using cardboard and scrunched up crepe paper.

    1. Den

    Most parents can remember building a den as a child, usually with nothing more than a table, some cushions and a sheet. Let your child’s imagination run wild as they pretend to go camping or try to keep warm inside their very own igloo.

    You could always be the scary animal on the outside of the tent. And if you’ve got a torch don’t forget to make some animal shadows too.

    1. Hama Beads

    Children can make all sorts of designs with Hama Beads. Whether it’s a Minion, an animal, or Harry Potter, there are all kinds of patterns they can copy off the internet.

    Once they’ve created it on a plastic peg board, it’s your job to iron it and make it stick together. You can easily make them into keyrings or magnets too.

    1. Pebbles

    Pebble art has been quite a thing over recent years, with people decorating rocks and leaving them in parks and other places for people to find.

    Given the current climate, people aren’t sharing them at the moment, but that isn’t stopping families having lots of fun decorating them.

    Something as simple as felt tips does the trick on lighter rocks, with children decorating them however they want – some making funny faces out of them.

    If you want them to last longer outside then you’d be better using acrylic paint coated with varnish to give an extra layer of protection.

    1. Playdoh

    Play-Doh is another old favourite and can keep them entertained for hours. Whether they want to make their own dinosaur, elephant, car or castle, the possibilities are endless. If you can manage not to stress about the colours being mixed together it can be a whole lot of fun. And if you haven’t got any Play-Doh it’s pretty simple to make your own. All you need is:

    • 2 cups of plain flour
    • 1 cup of salt
    • 1 tablespoon of oil
    • half to 1 cup of cold water
    • 2 drops of liquid food colouring

    Mix the flour and salt then add the water, oil and food colouring. Knead the mixture well, adding a little more flour if the consistency is too wet.

  • Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse could deform your destiny!

    Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse could deform your destiny!

    Dear Aunty Temilolu, I am 18 years old, I have a boyfriend and I love him so much and he loves me because he usually does things that make me happy and also advises me when I go off the right path. I don’t want just a mere relationship with him; I want to be his life partner. I was a virgin before I met him. He asked me for sex and I gave it to him because he was not happy when I refused at first. Please what should I do because he’s asking for it again? I don’t want to have sex with him again and I don’t want to lose him. Please I need your advice because I don’t want to lose him or make him unhappy?

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    Why would you love any guy above yourself, above your glorious destiny? Why would you please a boy or man to the detriment of your present and your future? If only places of worship slammed the consequences of ungodly sex in your faces at every single service, the power in the word of God would pierce your hearts and open up your spiritual understanding by fire by force and envelope you with the spirit of God which would make you detest every form of sin. Alas, the crux of today’s messages is hinged on prosperity! How can anyone who is heavily yoked with the spirits and bondages of multiple, in fact uncountable sexual partners make anything meaningful out of life and not go from trouble to trouble? How can one discover one’s life partner, destiny helper and help-mate when he/she is already confused and derailed because of an ungodly soul-tie? How then can such a person enjoy the prosperity nuggets he/she is weekly bombarded with in church if our common enemy-the devil succeeds in joining him/her with his/her destiny destroyer?

    This is a very serious matter and one of the reasons for most of today’s divorces and scattered lives of both parents and the children of the failed marriage. Sadly, lives which were designed to be so beautiful become a nightmare and dreams which had been built for years and reached a dizzying height, crash suddenly into smithereens because of someone’s impatience, ungodliness, spiritual dullness etc. I pray this won’t be your portion in Jesus mighty name. AMEN!

    The point is once a life is polluted or contaminated through sexual intercourse with the wrong person, it could have a cataclysmic effect and I tell you it only takes the mercy of God for such destiny to re-align with God’s divine agenda.

    At 18, where has my young lady reached in life for her to feel her boyfriend/fiend is God’s gift and the best that would come her way? How very naïve and myopic of her. Perhaps she’s not even in the university yet. We meet more and more people every day, and will always get carried away by different personalities. She has a few years to spend in the university where she would meet the good, the bad and the ugly, she is going to observe the NYSC and meet more exciting and interesting guys yet the world at large is waiting for her-church, work, social functions, I could go on and on! My sweeties, what’s the rush? Do you know just that single act of sex could introduce uncontrollable lust into one’s life and before you are 22 you find out you’ve slept with 30 or more guys? How can you accommodate such rot in your destiny? Because your other friends are engaging in it and seem to be having a ball doesn’t mean you’ll have a ball as well neither will they get away with it. The earlier you realize that we all have different destinies which carry diverse weights spiritually, the better!

    I know a good number of you are so keen on expressing your love, but-HOW MANY SOULS DO YOU WANT TO BE MARRIED TO BEFORE YOU REACH THE RIPE AGE OF MARRIAGE? Hmmm….or you didn’t know sexual intercourse is sexual union/spiritual union? May the power of God pull you back and may you see reason with this article in Jesus name!

    • I invite you to follow me on Facebook – TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowo Temilolu.
  • Urban or rural lady: Who makes a better wife?

    Urban or rural lady: Who makes a better wife?

    With VERA chidi-maha

    Before I relocated to my present abode, I once lived in an area where a hospital was located. The hospital was the very ‘classy’ type if you get my drift. Never in my years of residing in that area did I see any patient trekking to the clinic. The calibre of patients who patronized the hospital was either chauffeur – driven or those who drove themselves to the hospital in porche cars, of course.

    You can then begin to imagine the type of doctors working in the hospital. They were very polished, trendy and happy– go-lucky set of doctors.

    I must not forget that majority of them were young and handsome, of course, especially when you see them in their white jackets and stethoscopes casually hanging on their shoulders.

    Of all the doctors who worked there, the one that really caught my attention was Dr. Amos. The guy was stylish, handsome indeed, but he was randy.

    Dr. (Randy) Amos practically slept with all the nurses and a handful of patients. People were not too quick to judge him because they reasoned he was still single, and that perhaps he was still searching for the ‘Miss Right’.

    Well Dr. Amos had a joker for everyone who prayed for him to at least settle and perhaps to make a home with one of the nurses who he was being seen with.

    He sampled and sampled and at the end of the day, when it was time for him to get himself a wife, he travelled to his hometown and got himself a wife! Everyone was dumbfounded when he introduced the lady we thought to be his sister or maid as his wife.

    It is needless for me to state how heartbroken a lot of the nurses he used and dumped were. As a matter of fact, some of them left the employ of the hospital. They could not bear the shame. They said if he had chosen one of them, they would have accepted it as fate.

    But to dump every city girl he had dated, and gone for a ‘bush meat’ (according to them) was simply unthinkable. For me, I still believe that love is where you find it, but just as a matter of curiosity, does it mean that ladies in the countryside are better than city dwellers?  I am also aware that majority of my eastern brothers still indulge in that act till tomorrow.

    What is about the rural girls that urban girls don’t have? Do men feel the urban girls are too exposed or too independent? Does it have anything to do with prowess in bed? Do men of these days still prefer, ‘Yes sir’, ‘Yes sir’, ‘bags full’ kind of girls? Because Dr. Amos’s story is very recent one, are village girls prettier? Do they cook better? Are they better housekeepers? Do they make better housewives and others?

    I am aware that urban girls of these days are not as timid as they seemingly were in the past. In fact, when most of the urban girls visit their country home, feeling cool, wearing their wares and hairdos, they will be shocked to find out that their so-called trendy clothes are already outdated as the ‘home girls’ are spotting trendier wares.

    In fact, a friend recently travelled home to see her aged mother, it was during that visit that an old friend she accidentally ran into introduced to her a herbal soap that she can use to wash and tighten her ‘parts’ so that when a ma ‘meets’ her, she would feel like he is meeting a virgin.

    In the villages these days, the type of girls that stare downwards or look away when a man makes a direct pass at them are fast gone. I also recall an old childhood friend of mine, who once dated a guy form the eastern part of the country for close to seven years of her life.

    This guy went further to give her an engagement ring, which she wore conspicuously, scaring all prospective suitors away. She was very faithful to her until the day he travelled home to bring home the wife his mother had earlier arranged for him.

    Her fiancée kept her in the dark for close to eight months after bringing the lady home to Lagos. He finally let the proverbial cat out of the bag when my friend persistently insisted on retrieving the spare key he had earlier taken back from her with no cogent reason.

    He claimed that his mother had arranged the wife on his behalf years before he was even told of the lady’s existence. He also claimed that he could not afford to disobey or hurt his mother’s feelings. My friend’s broken heart is yet to be taken care of even two years after the eastern ‘bros’ dumped her for his ‘home girl’.

    I really wonder why this is so.  It really beats my imaginations. Don’t get me twisted.  I am not in any way trying to downgrade my urban sisters by any chance, far from it.

    I just feel that lady’s location is based on privileged and sheer geography, I do not think it is right to date and dump a city girl for whatever reason and run home to pick a wife. A lady is a lady. There should not be any basis for competition. If you date an urban girl, and it works for you, please marry her.

    Same should go for a city girl. If an urban lady is good enough to dine, wine and sleep with, why can’t you just take her to the altar? Or what do you think?

  • Relationship problems all couples experience

    Relationship problems all couples experience

    With Rois Ola

     

    IT pretty much goes without saying that no one really wants to fight with their partner, but the reality is that arguing from time to time in a relationship is inevitable.

    Even if you love your partner and are content overall in your relationship, there are some common relationship problems that all couples face.

    However, not only is it ok for you and your partner to fight, it’s actually essential for your growth as a couple-as long as you’re arguing in a productive way, that is. But what exactly does it mean to have a productive fight in a relationship?

    The  bottomline? So long as you’re able to communicate in a mature, effective way, any issues that arise during the course of your relationship will be no biggie.

    Of course, there’s no way to predict exactly what issues might pop up — but if you want a general idea, here are nine relationship problems that are universal to pretty much all couples that you can be on the lookout for in your own relationship.

    1. Going through a dry spell

    There are so many reasons a dry spell can happen — mismatched libidos, health problems, general stress, a lack of free time — that it’s almost inevitable for a long-term couple not to go through at least one. But it’s not the end of the world, and it’s also totally possible to get out of a sex rut.

    1. Feeling bored in relationship

    When you’re dating the same person for a long period of time, of course things might start to feel a little stale eventually. If you feel bored in your relationship, work together to find ways you can add some fun, spontaneity, and excitement back into the day-to-day.

    1. Dealing with feelings of jealousy

    Some people are certainly more jealous in relationships than others, but we’re all human and have the capacity to feel insecure — and, as a result, almost every couple will experience bouts of jealousy from time to time.

    “It’s natural to get jealous when you’re in a relationship,” Bennett says. “All couples go through it to a degree. The key to overcome it is to communicate and build trust so that you can rationally work through what can ultimately be irrational feelings.”

    1. Not fully listening to one another

    To make a relationship last, having good communication skills is so important. One of the biggest no-nos? Not being an active and thoughtful listener in your relationship.

    1. Fighting about chores

    It might not be fun, but doing chores and errands is essential to making a household run smoothly — after all, someone has to take out the garbage. Particularly if you live with a partner whose definition of ‘clean’ is different than yours, fighting about the division of chores in your relationship is super normal.

    1. Experiencing doubts in relationship

    One of the things no one tells you about long-term relationships? Even if you’re happy, it’s normal to have doubts about your partner occasionally — as long as you’re able to communicate about them, that is.

    “Doubts in a relationship are normal. It’s human nature to question things in life. If you’re happy in a relationship, try not to dwell on the doubts. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship that make you feel that you are right for each other.”

    1. Getting too busy and spending less time together

    When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s typical to make each other a top priority. But everyone has their own individual commitments, too — and sometimes life gets in the way, and we spend less time with our partners than we once did.

    “This can be frustrating and cause resentment in a relationship, even though it’s nobody’s fault,” “Sometimes it’s worthwhile for couples to cut back on work or other commitments to devote more time to their relationship.”

    1. Disagreeing about money

    Unfortunately, money makes the world go ‘round, which means that arguing about money with your partner is pretty much inevitable, especially if you have or plan to combine your finances.

  • How we’re killing boredom – CELEBS

    How we’re killing boredom – CELEBS

    Kehinde OLULEYE and Paul UKPABIO

     

    WE are in unusual times. Nearly all countries are on lockdown because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Streets are empty. Markets are shut. Hotels and bars are not open. Businesses are at a standstill and schools are closed.

    Almost everyone, with the exception of essential service workers, are on a sort of house arrest.

    As the world remains on lockdown, people of different tribes and tongues across the globe are dealing with the same problem: boredom! Like most industries, the entertainment industry has been badly hit.

    The glitzy life of travels and show business of the industry’s leading stars has also come to a standstill.  Actors, actresses, musicians, comedians, OAPs, fashion designers, MCs, to mention but a few, are ‘roasting’ at home because of the restrictions on movement. They can’t go to movie locations because shootings have been stopped and they can’t perform at functions because Owambe has been banned.

    So, this week, we present in their words how the A-Listers are coping with boredom, a common problem in this lockdown and how they are using innovative means to keep the connections between them and their fans.

    Emeka Asia: Actor, movie producer:

    “This has been a forced holiday. It hasn’t been a pleasant situation, even though we know it is a forced closure for the sake of the general public, it is not the best of time for anyone who is a business person. Yeah, I am home with family in Lagos.

    “To while away the time, I am trying my best to possibly pen down new creations which I could work on in the future. I also speak and discuss with associates on jobs that we were on to and others we should focus on.

    “It is an opportunity for the family to bond, especially since we are together now. But (I think) the first two weeks should have just been the ideal because these next two weeks are a big issue.

    “Yeah, there is definitely going to be some changes after this time. Going by history, after every pandemic, the world experiences changes in human interactions. Now that we are in the age of information, a lot is going to change.

    People are going to realise that there are more effective ways of meeting up with meetings and schedules other than physical meeting. Also, people are likely to be careful about meeting with others because they will believe that some people may still have the disease. I don’t know if that will be very effective in Africa because even within this lockdown, there are still movements.

    “Maybe it is because we are not as unlucky as countries with high fatalities like Britain and the United States of America. It has not really sunk down. What is really on people’s minds now is hunger because it has affected most people that are on daily earnings. I miss my social life, meetings with business associates and generally being with people and rubbing minds and enjoying myself.”

     

    Tee Mac: Musician, businessman

    “I am okay and taking it easy with life. I walk my dogs in the morning. Also, I work on my business paperwork till midday. Then, I play the flute for two hours, rest between 4 and 5pm. Then I feed my dogs. Afterwards, I work on some classical composition or play another two hours flute.

    I walk a set of dogs and go to bed at 11pm. I have realised that a good schedule is needed. One achieves a lot this way. I am kind of self-content and I don’t need many people around me. I hope my fans out there are safe”.

     

    Ayo Balogun: Musician, businesswoman

    “I must say that the pandemic met most of us unprepared and I must confess that it has hit us so badly in the entertainment sector and life. Musicians have been badly affected. You know, we are used to making money weekly through musical performances and other events. All of that has stopped and we’ve been dipping our hands in our reserves!

    “The worst of it is that many people depend on us for support at this time because we are celebrities, yet we have our families to take care of too. Sincerely it’s not been easy as the fear of the unknown is starting to grip us all because we don’t have an idea of when social gatherings will be safe and sane again.

    We only kill boredom by playing different games with our immediate families (laughs). I spend time praying to God for the healing of our beloved country and the rest of the world. May God come to our aid and help us out of this tough time”.

     

    Femi Lasode: Filmmaker

    “Incidentally, I am an introvert, so I welcome the rest of the world to ‘The Introverts’ Club! I’ve been working at my studio and home for more than 10 years now, producing my audio-visual materials, so there’s nothing strange about having to sit at home at this particular time.

    I travelled around the world in my younger days; so there’s nothing left out there that fascinates me. From my studio, I can reach the whole world. The lockdown is very important so that the killer disease COVID-19 does not wipe out humanity.”

     

    Sammy Hassan: Poet, writer, film producer

    “COVID-19 is truly a novel situation for Nigerians and the world as a whole. For that reason, it’s a cause for concern and anxiety as we await to see the new world we would inherit. As for performances, I’m sure all it will take is ingenuity.

    Some days ago, I saw Andrea Bocelli performing in an empty cathedral for free broadcast around the world. Deejays from across the world are beaming themselves and people are tuning in.

    All it affects is your platform. In fact, if you want, this is the time to perform for millions at the same time with everyone caught captive at home. So get online, find your platform and perform. Innovate or die.

    “So presently, I’m home; I’m reading, studying, dreaming, resting and bidding my time for when the new day will dawn”.

     

    Zakky Azzay: Musician, businessman

    “I try to occupy my time by reading, solving puzzles and creating some trivial challenges to keep my brain busy. I am also learning to bake. I try walking in my small compound as exercise to keep the body happy.”

     

    Genevieve Nnaji: Actress, producer

    Sexy Nollywood screen diva, Genevieve Nnaji, has been buzzing on social media after joining the trending Tik Tok challenge and her fans were wowed by her dance skills after the footage emerged on social media showing her dancing to controversial singer Naira Marley’s hit song, “Tesumole”. The Tik Tok Challenge was initiated days after most countries around the world went into a lockdown.

     

    Iyabo Ojo: Actress, producer:

    Popular Nollywood actress director and producer, Iyabo Ojo, has been constantly sharing videos of how she and her family have been trying to deal with boredom during the COVID-19 lockdown.

    In one of her videos, the latest one, the sexy mother of two was seen having fun with her kids and some of their friends. They form a musical band while performing with household utensils as instrument. She captioned the hilarious video

    “#familyband boredom102 after 18days of isolating….. e don happen #tiktok ”

     

    Davido: Musician

    The Omo Baba Olowo (OBO) crooner, Davido, has stayed in touch with his fans, helping them to kill boredom while also catching fun himself. Recently he shared snapshots from the special moments that he had with his father. He has also been bonding with his son, Ifeanyi, since his wife has been in isolation after testing positive to COVID-19:

    “davidoofficial Mothers Dey try ooo see my eyes lmao #waitingformommytocomeback”

     

    Bolaji Aromire: Tv director, filmmaker, businessman

    “It has been very limiting being at home during this lockdown but, at the same time, every challenge presents an opportunity for innovation. As entertainers, we are coming up with alternative ways to achieve our desired results.

    “For film makers like myself, the challenge is enormous because we use locations a lot to tell stories and our production staff are usually above 50 persons and that is against the social distancing directives by the health authorities.

    So to cope with meeting pressing needs and also kill boredom, I reply to messages, learn new movie tricks and I watch and spend quality time with my family.”

     

    Mc Pato: Comedian, businessman

    “To tell you the truth, this has been a very depressing feeling for me. Never been in this kind of dead-end situation before! I don’t wish this for even my worst enemy, walahi. Coping has been solely by the special grace of God as I appealed to all my debtors and some of them responded positively by paying part of the money they owed me. Also, I got some assistance from close family members, friends and business associates.

    “Right now I spend time trying to kill boredom. For me, I have virtually been on the internet creating ideas, watching movies, doing some research works and reading.”

     

    Fiokee: Guitarist

    “The pandemic has really affected us in the entertainment sector. As a producer and performer, I am used to having events and recording for clients. Everything is on hold right now!

    “So no inflow is coming in from shows and productions. The only way we have been able to cope is from our savings and from our digital sales revenues, which has been exhausted already. I have always been working from home because I have a studio at home. So the isolation is more like part of my lifestyle.

    “I am coping very well. But I feel the government really needs to help us because it’s already getting to the point where everyone can’t handle anymore. If the pandemic lockdown continues like this in Nigeria, it might get worse and the citizens might disobey the stay-at-home order”.

     

    Favour Oma: Actress

    “I’m surviving! But I pity the less-privileged. How are they surviving? At times I feel like shouting. But I have learnt to align my life to this saying: things you can’t change, let go.

    “My case is quite serious because the crisis met me at Asaba where I went filming. This is a place where I do not know people or have a close friend.

    You can imagine how boring it has been. All the same, I have just realised I could do a fantastic monologue skits, since all I have to do is to press my phone, work on my laptop, walk around in the room, sleep and talk to my self. Instead of wasting these moments, I quickly turned it into something to keep my fans smiling no matter the situation.”

     

    Oge Kimono, Artist

    “I try not to think about what is happening too much as I stay away from too much media noise. I tell myself I am on a break, which is highly needed to rejuvenate, meditate and reinvent myself. Luckily and thankfully, technology has made it easy for us, we can still do what we love to do regardless of our location. One can record a song over the phone till one is able to get it done properly.

    “Coping hasn’t been that much of a task as I put my time into good use by meditating on the word of God, reading, exercising and eating freshly made food daily.”

  • Helping children overcome shyness (2)

    Helping children overcome shyness (2)

    With VERA chidi-maha

     

    BE a role model for confident social behaviour. Children usually learn by imitating the people around them, so be sure to exhibit the characteristics that you want them to have. For instance, should you observe that your child is struggling in certain areas, like greeting people, make a point to model those behaviours in front of him.

    • Teach your child social skills early

    Good social skills need to be developed; some children may have greater aptitude for it than others, but practice makes perfect. The earlier you begin teaching your child, the better it is for him.

    Allow your child to pick up social skills by letting him “practise” with people as much as possible. You could also encourage your shy child to speak up when you are with them. Utilise every opportunity you have – for instance, if the child wants to buy something, get him to take the money to the cashier at the counter.

    • Teach tolerance and respect for others

    Shy children are particularly judgemental of themselves and others, thus you will need to teach him or her to be tolerant and respectful of others.

    If you are overly critical as a parent, your child will tend to follow and pick up a similar attitude. In the long run, he will believe that others are judging him. Be a good role model – tell him that no one is perfect, but they should be accepted in spite of their imperfections.

    • Learning from experience

    Help your children learn by making positive comments about how you felt as you accomplished certain tasks or things. Let them know it is all right to “explore” and try taking risks; though we may make mistakes at times and fail.

    If you’ve tried all the tips listed and your child is still not showing any positive progress, be patient and give him or her some time. However, you must be alert to your child’s moods and behaviours.

    If he or she shows signs of anxiety that is becoming very severe, or shows complex symptoms or suicidal thoughts or intentions, it is very important that you contact a mental health professional or a child psychologist for professional help.

     

    • Source: https://www.thestar.com