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‘Coronavirus, sign God is angry with the world’

Senior Pastor, Lagos-based Trinity House Church, Ituah Ighodalo, speaks on the rampaging coronavirus, why it may be punishment from God, the 5G controversy and the church. He also attempted an answer to the controversy of pastors not coming out to display their healing prowess at this time. He spoke with Gboyega Alaka.

A LOT of people are saying that the Coronavirus pandemic is a sign of the end-time. What do you say to this?

Well, it could have been the end-time in 1918 when there was a pandemic like this; it could have been a sign of the end-time in 1820 when there was a pandemic like this. This is part of the evolution of the life of man; nobody really knows when the end-time will come and there have been many similar signs and signs. All I know is that God is not happy with man, God is not happy with the state of things and he has permitted this pandemic to happen to tell man a few things. I think the nearest thing to it is this issue of vaccination and the ingraination of man with chips. In places like Sweden and Norway, it’s almost becoming like a lifestyle for people to have chips in their body. If it had not happened for vaccination, it would have happened for currency, for traveling or identification and communication. But what people like Bill Gates are advocating is that men should have a chip somewhere in there body, that they can use for carrying their records and stuff – almost like the telephone that we carry about. People are saying it’s the sign of 666, it’s this, it’s that; yeah, that’s the way the world is going, and very soon, the whole thing will come to an end. So we’re waiting.

There have been stories that Christians should not take this vaccination, that it’s a way of bringing the sign of the antichrist to past…

It’s there in the book of Revelation, Ezekiel and others, that a time will come when people will not be able to buy and sell, unless they have a sign on their heads. But you see, a lot of evil have been reigning in the world for years and a lot of people have been in charge of the world – if you like, Antichrists. But we live with them and cope with them. However, we must find a spiritual alternative and a basis of making sure that we do not co-operate with the forces of evil. And this is not just about rejecting the microchip, it’s about refusal to properly pursue God. So, I do not think the chip itself is evil, if we need it to move about; it is what it represents that we must be careful about. It is what comes with it that we must be careful about. The other time, it was Obama who offered Nigeria aids, if we could change our laws to accept gay rights. That was totally unacceptable. We will not sell our birthright for a morsel of bread. So if this chip is going to come with certain conditions that will negate the worship of God, then we reject it. But if the chip is totally unconditional, and we need it to move about, then why not? You might as well say you want to reject a phone. Who goes about today without a phone? And don’t forget, we even use this phone to propagate the gospel of God. So we need to be very careful and not be too parochial about the way we Christians view things.

You’re saying the development is not antithetical to God’s wishes.

Honestly, I do not think so.

Some people have sighted that part of the Bible, where God got angry with David for counting the people and he lost 70,000 soldiers. Isn’t the world heading the same way with this chip stuff?

There was a reason God told David not to do the counting at that time. Don’t forget that there was a census when they left Egypt and when they were going to cross into the promise land. What God said was that, ‘David, it is not in your place to count the children of Isreal at this time and ascribe to yourself the position of godship and control.’ What happened then is what happening today. God brought a plague that killed 70,000 innocent people because of one leadership mistake. Part of why we are having coronavirus today is because of the various leadership mistakes that we’ve been having and sins that people have been committing.

There is a man called Jonathan Chan; he is what you call a messianic Jew who believes in Jesus Christ. He stood on Capitol Hill about five years ago and told the people of America that America was beginning to go down, that America will go down, because they were doing what the children of Isreal did 2,500 years ago, rejecting God – the God on whom America was built 226 years ago. And this is exactly what is happening in America today, where the economy is going down, where gay rights activists are moving up and down and you don’t know who is a man and who is a woman; debauchery all over the place. So we’ve seen it before. The Babylonians came, they left; the Romans came, they left; the Egyptians came, they left; same for the Greek, the British; the Americans came, they are on their way out. Because each one of them rejected the principles of God. The principles of God cannot change. People should know that if there is a God, God has principles and we must obey them.

There is the 5G/COVID-19 controversy, where some are saying that it is the radioactive effect of the 5G technology that is causing these deaths.

I don’t know who really is against the 5G and where the propaganda is coming from. I do not think that it is 5G that is causing coronavirus, although technology and radiation has its effect on human health. I know that if you don’t manage radioactive ingredients properly, it may damage human health, but not in the manner we are currently witnessing. It causes long term cancer, lung diseases; but this one is a virus, a biological virus that has picked up on men. The radioactivity may affect the immune system of man and make your system weak, but if you don’t contract the virus, it will not get into your nose or mouth and affect your lungs.

Do you have an idea where the controversy is coming from?

The world is being controlled by some powerful people for the love of money, people throwing all manners of information to control the mind of people. So I suspect there is a war between the owners of the technology of 5G and the owners of some other technology that wants to bring it down.

You think America is coming up with this 5G/Covid-19 blackmail to wage a ‘war’ against China?

I know America well enough now to know that there is nothing they cannot do. When they want to sell arms, they make Syria fight Iraq, they make Israel fight Jordan. America will go to Sudan and cause a war, go to Libya and kill a Ghadaffi…. They do al all sorts of things. Their own love is money and the control of the world. And they think it is their right to call themselves the policeman of the world. What right do they have to have nuclear weapons and tell North Korea they cannot have it? And they do all sorts of things to bring everybody else down. The whole world is not about America. And that’s why I’m not happy with us Africans, because we cannot come together. We cannot think, cooperate and unite to face the world together. We allowed them to take us into captivity, enslave us, colonise us, change our minds, mess up our people. Africans must wake up and smell the coffee.

A lot of people on the social media are taking a dig at the church, especially pastors, who claim to have healing powers; that they have all of a sudden, gone quiet now that the world needs healing. How would you react to this?

When people criticise you, it is an opportunity for you to look inwards and really search yourself. I think the image that we pastors have portrayed to the world is the issue. When pastors are riding all over the place in expensive cars, shouting all over the place about tithes and offerings, flying around in private jets; when we don’t really care about the poor people. You know there are some pastors who say, ‘I’m not called to the poor,’ and chase the poor people away. The church must go back to true Christian teaching; they must stop empire building. Some of us simply want our churches to be full, so that we can have huge tithe offering and live big life. But this is not to say that the church is not praying against this pandemic. The church is ready to go out and feed the poor and truly heal the sick.

I need you to respond to that part about pastors who claim to have healing powers not coming forth.

I don’t know why they are not coming forth but nobody should be afraid to pray for people; healing comes from God. Any pastor who ascribes to himself the power to heal is telling a lie. The Bible says that even Jesus, when he went to Nazareth where he was born, he could not heal people, because they doubted him. But the same Bible says that he went to some places and the power of healing was available to him. My job as a pastor is to pray as God has led me. It is God’s job to respond to my prayer. In our church, we pray and people are healed; we pray and miracles and signs and wonders happen. And I am prepared to go to those places to pray along with my colleagues, and leave the healing to God.

About palliatives, what is the church doing to cushion the effects of this lockdown on their not so well-off members?

I know that quite a lot of churches are preparing food packs and giving to the needy; our church is one of them. The problem with Nigeria is that it is a day-to-day economy for about 80% of the people. For most people, if they don’t go out in a day to labour, they cannot feed. And this shows the soft underbelly of our economy. So we’re trying to prepare food as palliative to feed those people. The number of phone calls I receive from people who tell me they have not eaten has tripled since this lockdown began. Now I receive almost 30 calls every day. The church is also going to provide medical supplies. It’s my birthday tomorrow (Monday April 6) by the way and we have this plan to, as a church, support the government and the various isolation centres with medical supplies. Finally, the church is praying. These are the three things I think the church can do. But one thing I’m advocating as a leader and a man of God, is that whatever the government has asked us to do, we should please try and do. A lot of people are confused about this stay at home, be isolated directive. And I don’t think the government has communicated properly enough. It is not a punishment, it is not punitive, it is preventative. This virus goes by contact and there are people who carry it, who do not know that they carry it and all they need to do is to come near enough to somebody, touch people or talk into the air and the things goes out and bounces on people. And the more people that contract this virus, the more difficult it is for government to control and the more it spreads. So it is better for people to stay within the confines of a certain zone, so they don’t go about spreading it.

Most importantly, we all need to begin to fear God again, worship God and begin to rid our land of evil. God is a bit angry. That’s why he allowed this kind of thing.

As a pastor, do you see an end to this pandemic soon enough, globally?

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. In 1820, it started, it ended; in 1920, it started, it ended. The plague in the UK started, it ended. I think in about six months time, maximum nine, this thing will be total history. But we would have learnt the lesson and we would have tightened our environment. We would have overcome it probably through medication. And it will be like any common flu that we all do vaccination against. You know there was a time that flu was a problem, there was a time yellow fever was a problem, there was a time cholera was a problem but with the help of God and knowledge of science, we overwhelmed and overcame them and they became part of our lives and we take the necessary control over them.

April 12, 2020
Helping children overcome shyness (1)
With Vera Chidi-Maha

Shyness is a feeling of awkwardness, worry, or tension during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may exhibit physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach.

They could also be filled with negative feelings about themselves and worry how others see them.

Feeling shy on occasion is perfectly normal. However, some people face intense feelings of shyness that may prevent them from interacting with others. This usually leads to problems in school, at work, and in relationships.

If this leads to significant impairment in social activities or relationships, then it is no longer shyness but a psychological problem called social phobia (fear of humiliation or possible scrutiny by others), and this requires professional help.

A person who is suffering from social phobia usually will find it easy to interact with his family or close friends. But, he will be under great pressure if he has to meet new faces, and he will tend to avoid such situations.
- Identifying shyness
In children, the most common observable symptom of shyness is “avoidance behaviour”, where the child tries to avoid all situations where he or she has to meet other people.

The child may exhibit anger, resort to crying, or keep silent (elective mutism) if he or she is forced into such a situation. If you have a child who struggles with shyness, it is advisable that you address and improve the issue while the child is still in his formative years.

Addressing the situation at an early stage ensures the child can enjoy a better and healthier school experience – which gradually leads to more confidence in later life.

Be observant of your child’s mannerisms and reactions in order to find out whether your child is shy. How you can help?
- Do not ridicule or make fun of your child in public
Shy children are afraid of peer rejection and worry whatever they say or do may be perceived as incompetent. Therefore, negative comments or labels are dangerous, as they will cause emotional distress to your child.

This may make him become even more withdrawn or reserved.
- Do not label your child as “shy”
Accepting your child for who he is is very important; labelling him as “a shy child” will make him more likely to be shy. Therefore, it is important to accept the child as he is – this can make him feel more confident and less inhibited.
- Build up your child’s self-esteem and confidence
Shy children tend to have doubts about their capabilities. They also have negative self-image and constantly think that they will not be accepted.

Nurture your child’s sense of self-esteem and confidence by allowing him to make decisions and take responsibility for them. Praise and acknowledge him when appropriate. This can help him feel good about himself.

Source: https://www.thestar.com
- To be continued next week
April 11, 2020
COVID-19: Coping in your spouse’s absence
With Vera Chidi-Maha

Ever had phone sex with your spouse? Research has shown that phone sex does not only spice up marriages, it also saves long distance relationships, especially with this pandemic, some couples, due to no fault of theirs.

I watched a movie recently where the married couple due to their career demands had to relocate to two different geographical locations. The couple, no doubts they were still madly in love with each other, but duty called. A time came when they needed to make babies, but the long distance made it almost impossible to do so. But guess what, readers. Phone sex came to the rescue. The husband went to a lab where his sperm could be frozen. After the necessary documents were signed, a small can was given to him to fill up but by the time he got to his office, he had to be ”in the right mood” to be able to fill up the can. So, he can thereafter send to his wife and complete other medical requirement of putting the sperm into his wife and all that.

So, what did he do? He called up his wife; and they began to talk. Dirty talk, if you like, it worked. Till the end of the film, in which they were apart for years, what saved their marriage? Constant sex; very hot, passionate, phone sex! Have you tried it? Come on, there is no need to be so old fashioned about things like this; after all, he or she is your spouse, abi? Shame should be thrown aside when it comes to being intimate with your spouse. Don’t forget that your sex life can make or mar your union. It is the truth, studies have shown this.

If you have not tried it before now, it is time to start. It can start with calling up your spouse, (of course, you must ensure that they are completely done with the day’s job) with a question like: “What are you wearing? Other times, you can start a focus on breathing or a loving, but stern command like ”Take off your clothes” or Open your legs”. At other times, you can start with a simple “Hello baby” or whatever pet name you have for your spouse, like my heartbeat, my own, honey pie, honey bunch, sweetie etc, but whatever you do, your intention is to put your significant other, in the right mood, so your tone matters. Ensure you have enough airtime, because you never know how long it could take. No matter how you start, practice they say makes perfect.

As a wife there is nothing that should stop you from initiating a phone sex with your man. According to survey by an edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, it was found that 85 per cent of men would like it if their women give it to them good over the phone. The key thing to enjoying phone sex is not just your partner’s participation; it is your active participation that will determine how much you both will enjoy it. Enthusiasts say that after phone sex, his wife showers him with compliments. She tells me she is amazed at my ability to satisfy her.

Phone sex is popular for a myriad of reasons. It is healthy and safe. You literally talk your way to a place where you want to touch yourself. No protection is needed. Phone sex can also be intensely intimate and it can bring you and your partner together even when you are on separate coasts or in different countries. A lady can reach orgasm twice if the call is handled properly. Good phone sex requires trust as much as it requires good signal. Once you establish trust between both of you; you can enjoy sex with your most powerful organ – the brain.

Susie Bright, a sex expert and author of ap2: the erotic treasury, says ”it may seem ‘disconnected’ when you first pick up the phone, but the most interesting part of talking into someone’s ear and listening to their confidence will soon have you completely oblivious to your surroundings.

”Pretty soon you will be one of those people who say, with utter seriousness, that ‘phone sex’ is one of the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Even if what you talk about is in the realm of fantasy forever, connecting orally allows you a freedom you may not get at other times in your relationship. Yes, it really is possible to excite your partner with dirty talk phrases, without being in the same room. You might be familiar with it if you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship. It is phone sex if you can just take your time and get creative with your partner, phone sex can be so good; it almost feels like the real thing. When you are having a phone sex, please do go all the way with your partner, don’t hold anything back. Since he or she is not with you in person, you will both have to work harder to get things heated up. Vivid details and fantasies are a must when talking over the phone. Go wild and say things that you might deem to be too “out there”. Try using lighter dirty talk phrases to get him in the mood before you unleash your fantasies. Make sure to let him know what you are wearing, and if you have passed that stage (not wearing anything at all), tell him exactly what you are doing to yourself. Emphasis is on how much details you use. Each time you escalate into dirtier words, make sure he is ready for it before doing so. Once he says the word, you can say it as well.

Pay close attention to his breathing. If he is very aroused, his breathing will be that much heavier. Pay closer attention to where he is taking you with his words. Once he decides what he wants, he will lead you there subtly. You have got to enjoy it too! The point isn’t to reach orgasm with the dirty talk phrases – you want it to seem like you’re closer than you actually are.
- NB: Please stay safe.
April 11, 2020
Regular problems in relationships
With Rois Ola

It pretty much goes without saying that no one really ‘wants’ to fight with their partner, but the reality is that arguing from time to time in a relationship is inevitable. Even if you love your partner and are content overall in your relationship, there are some common relationship problems that all couples face. However, not only is it okay for you and your partner to fight, it’s actually essential for your growth as a couple — as long as you’re arguing in a productive way, that is. But what exactly does it mean to have a productive fight in a relationship?

The bottom line? So long as you’re able to communicate in a mature, effective way, any issues that arise during the course of your relationship will be no biggie. Of course, there’s no way to predict exactly what issues might pop up — but if you want a general idea, here are nine relationship problems that are universal to pretty much all couples that you can be on the lookout for in your own relationship.
1. Going through a dry spell
There are so many reasons a dry spell can happen — mismatched libidos, health problems, general stress, a lack of free time — that it’s almost inevitable for a long-term couple not to go through at least one. But it’s not the end of the world, and it’s also totally possible to get out of a sex rut.
1. Feeling bored in the relationship
When you’re dating the same person for a long period of time, of course things might start to feel a little stale eventually. If you feel bored in your relationship, work together to find ways you can add some fun, spontaneity, and excitement back into the day-to-day.
1. Dealing with feelings of jealousy
Some people are certainly more jealous in relationships than others, but we’re all human and have the capacity to feel insecure — and, as a result, almost every couple will experience bouts of jealousy from time to time.

“It’s natural to get jealous when you’re in a relationship,” Bennett says. “All couples go through it to a degree. The key to overcome it is to communicate and build trust so that you can rationally work through what can ultimately be irrational feelings.”
1. Not fully listening to one another
To make a relationship last, having good communication skills is so important. One of the biggest no-nos? Not being an active and thoughtful listener in your relationship.
1. Fighting about chores
It might not be fun, but doing chores and errands is essential to making a household run smoothly — after all, someone has to take out the garbage. Particularly if you live with a partner whose definition of ‘clean’ is different than yours, fighting about the division of chores in your relationship is super normal.
1. Experiencing doubts in the relationship
One of the things no one tells you about long-term relationships? Even if you’re happy, it’s normal to have doubts about your partner occasionally — as long as you’re able to communicate about them, that is.

“Doubts in a relationship are normal. It’s human nature to question things in life. If you’re happy in a relationship, try not to dwell on the doubts. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship that make you feel that you are right for each other.”
1. Getting too busy & spending less time together
When you’re in a serious relationship, it’s typical to make each other a top priority. But everyone has their own individual commitments, too — and sometimes life gets in the way, and we spend less time with our partners than we once did.

“This can be frustrating and cause resentment in a relationship, even though it’s nobody’s fault,” “Sometimes it’s worthwhile for couples to cut back on work or other commitments to devote more time to their relationship.”
1. Disagreeing about money
Unfortunately, money makes the world go ‘round, which means that arguing about money with your partner is pretty much inevitable, especially if you have or plan to combine your finances.”
April 11, 2020
How to deal with shyness
With Rois Ola

TO be shy is not a sin and is not something to be ashamed of. Some people have acquired the skill to be bold in everything, some are not so lucky, being shy doesn’t equate to be stupid, it just means you are more reserved in expressing yourself. Many people often struggle with shyness when experiencing their first relationship.

Shyness is something that can develop with a plethora of reasons. The truth is that once both partners are comfortable with each other, shyness will gradually disappear.

Stress can be attached to the beginning of any relationship which may become shameful to either of the people involved. Shyness can be overcome. It just takes practice and patience and finding someone willing to commit and understand you.

Your body language should be open:

Keeping your legs and arms uncrossed is a great way to be at ease with yourself. People who like folding or crossing their arms or legs may be intimidated by a stranger or visitor.

When your partner is communicating with you, ensure that maximum attention is given to them. It helps you to become comfortable and confident to reply to them. Another great approach is by making eye contact. It will help your partner convey simple and direct communication skills to you in return.

Understand the difference between self-esteem and shyness:

Self-esteem is your personality and strength both at home and social gatherings. Shyness may be caused as a result of not being confident over certain issues or activities.

Shyness often grows if you allow it. For this reason, it is a good idea to determine the basic difference between self-esteem and shyness. Once you can attack shyness from a standpoint of strength, it will eventually disappear.

Lean forward when communicating:

Leaning forward is a position that most confident people take when communicating. When you show a forward position, it may eventually intimidate the other party. Taking this position will always make you look and confident in any relationship.

Read Also: What to do to make your relationship stronger

When your partner is try to put something across your direction, use the tactics of forward leaning to counter the action. It will even make them to step back and respect your stance.

Asking questions:

Some do not have a good idea to run a relationship from the standpoint of asking questions. If you are shy to communicate with your partner, then always try to ask questions.

Asking questions will help you to be part of the discussion. It can help to get rid of the fear of making mistake in the next step. Ensure to ask questions on the topics your partner is currently discussing.

It shows that you understand what they are saying and wants to be a part of the discussion.

Introduce new love stories:

One of the best things that can help make a relationship stronger is being engaged. If you want to overcome shyness, then plan loved stories upfront. Ensure that the stories are unleashed immediately when you start talking to your partner.

It will help to keep you engaged in the process of overcoming shyness. Another thing you should know is making your stories streamlined to your current relationship.

It helps to put the other partner in a rat race of respect. If you really want to show your partner true confidence, then bring loved stories that will advance the partnership. Using this method will help to build strength, confidence and natural ability to get rid of fear.

Understand the difference between shyness and low self-esteem :[1]Plenty of shy people are very comfortable and happy with themselves, and have healthy levels of self-confidence. Don’t think that just because you’re shy, there’s something wrong with you.

Your partner chose you because they liked your personality, and your shyness is part of that. Even if it’s something you want to work on for your own sake in the relationship, never forget that you can be confident and powerful even if you’re shy.
- Never apologize for being shy. Explain why you’re reacting the way you are, say that you’re working on it because you want to, but never give anyone the impression that you owe them extroversion
Be up front about your shyness from the beginning: Studies have shown that discussing your shyness-related anxiety can lessen the effects of it, and experts suggest that showing vulnerability is actually a good way to increase trust and intimacy between partners.

Especially in new relationships, it’s very important to have a conversation about your shyness at the outset; this will pave the way for easier conversations down the road that will make your relationship a lasting one.

There’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of, so be open and honest about how you’re feeling when you feel yourself tensing up.
- Don’t bottle up your nervous feelings to deal with them later.
- Tell your partner how you’re feeling in real time.
- Don’t dwell on your shyness; get it out in the open, then move on to another subject when the feeling passes.
- Let your partner comfort you if they try.
Plan out important conversations ahead of time:
- When getting to know someone, you sometimes have to have very personal conversations that can be difficult. For example, you have to open up about your hopes and dreams, your fears and shames, and how you feel about your partner when you’re first getting to know each other.Plan out the big conversations that you think you’ll probably have with your partner ahead of time, so that you’ll be ready for them when they come up. Having a sort of script prepared in your head will make it much easier for you to open up.
- Make lists of your fears, hopes, and other important feelings.
- If you need to have an argument, outline the rationale behind your side of the argument. Anticipate what your partner will say, as well.The better prepared you are for all possible routes of conversation, the more open and effective you’ll be as a communicator.
Allow your significant other to talk as much as they like: If your significant other wants to talk, then let them and just practice being a good listener.

This will allow you to learn more about your significant other and it will help to deepen the connection between the two of you. It will also take some of the pressure to talk and come up with interesting things to say off of you.

This is not to say that all mentioned above are the only formula but they can go a long way. I wish you all the best.
April 4, 2020
Does matchmaking really work?

With Vera Chidi-Maha

THE society we live in has a very funny and odd way of ridiculing a single person or persons. Some are convinced that there is something wrong with the person. They go further to proffer a supposed solution by finding him a partner.

Matchmaking has over the years come a long way. Parents are often times guilty of this. I have heard of parents who want their children to get married to their friend’s child or children, believing that it is their place to choose and decide who their child settles down with.

Married couples who have single friends feel it is their place to fix their friends with some lady or guy so that they can get married and live happily with each other.

The question is: does it always work out? No doubt there are match–made relationships that have worked out and even ended up at the altar. But there are also cases that ends up in disaster.

It is just that right now, I do not have the accurate statistics of match made relationships that have worked out and those that have not. I recall with nostalgia how Ekene, a dear distant relation of mine became a very willing victim of match – making arrangement.

Uncle Ekene, popularly called ‘Americana’ by all stayed almost all his adult years in the United States. He was married to Aunty Carol also a Nigerian based in US. They have two very wonderful boys. I believe they were happy while they were there.

They had been married for fifteen years. We know this because they made a lot of noise about their 15th year wedding anniversary. It was after their celebration that Uncle Ekene decided it was time to come back to his fatherland.

This decision did not go well with his wife who decided to stay back in the US. The depressed and dejected Americana headed back home alone without his wife and children. He was home alone. Just six months after his return, everybody that was anybody in the family started bringing to Americana their friends and sisters.

Needless to say that he was left with no choice, but to sample and dump until they brought an undergraduate who doubted as a model.

Today, he is married to her and they have two girls and a boy. I believe they are happy. Or are they? I don’t know, for everybody’s sake I pray that matchmaking thing worked out for them.

Recently, a divorced mother of two announced to her friend that her divorce had been finalized and that she was finally free from her husband. What was her friend’s thought? To matchmakers.

Without waiting to know whether her friend was ready to enter into another relationship, she and her husband went to fix a blind date with her husband’s divorcee friend.

Read Also: Handling abusive relationships

The just–divorced lady was irritated by this intrusion into her privacy but her friend’s intentions and mischief to see where it would end took over.

She, however, gave her conditions. There was no way the man was coming to her flat. Since he lived alone, they would all meet at his flat for lunch. It was agreed.

Readers, could you guess what happened? By the time they got to his apartment, the poor man had developed a cold feet and simply disappeared!

He did not even have the decency to tell his children and house–helps where he went although his car was parked in the driveway. It was obvious that the poor man had also been rail – roaded into agreeing to meet her. After about thirty minutes of waiting, she’d had it.

Since she was earlier promised a good lunch by her matchmaking friends, she reminded the couple, and the lunch was provided het at the nice restaurant. So, matchmakers of this world beware. That a person lives alone does not mean that the person is lonely. Playing cupid seldom works.

Take another instance of a wealthy father who insisted that his daughter must be married to his childhood friend’s son. Before they met; they were both deeply involved in serious relationships but in order to please their respective parents, they decided to get together.

Well, they found out they had next nothing in common. The ideal thing then for them was to go their separate ways. It was at the point of deciding whether to continue or stay together that their parents decided to play tin – gods.

They blackmailed them into getting married by making their inheritance a condition. Not wanting to lose their inheritance, they both quickly consented to their parents matchmaking gimmicks. The wedding ceremony was lavish. But barely three months into the courtship, the worst happened.

They willingly consented to divorce. Whether they will get the inheritance or not, time will tell. Match making is not completely bad, it depends on their individuals concerned. Relationship issues can be very sensitive if not properly handled.

NB: Please stay safe

April 4, 2020
What to do to make your relationship stronger (2)
1. Go to the gym together.
  Going to the gym together means staying healthy and sharing great moments together. Inspire each other to stay fit.
2. Cook together
While you can go to a fancy restaurant, you can cook together at home and have a great bonding moment. Cook your favorite pasta. Even buying the ingredients would surely be fun.
1. Adopt a pet
While it comes with responsibilities, adopting a pet will make you two develop a strong and totally different bond.
1. Surprise your partner every once in a while
Never forget to spend some time to surprise your partner even in the littlest of things. This keeps the spark alive.
1. Give him/ her a massage
Give your partner a massage especially after a tiring day at work. He/she will certainly be longing for it.
1. Express how beautiful she is
Your partner has to know and feel how attracted you are to him/her. No matter how long you’ve been together, never fail to express how beautiful your partner is.
1. Kiss a lot
Kiss on the forehead, kiss on the lips, kiss on the neck. Kiss a lot to show that level of affection you have for each other.
1. Keep things more intimate
As mentioned, physical contact is important, so make this part of the relationship as healthy as it should be.
1. Love yourself
Don’t forget to love yourself because that gives you the capacity to love your partner more.
1. Be yourself
  One secret of a strong relationship is to just be yourself. Your partner will love you for being you.
Read Also: What to do to make your relationship stronger
1. Embrace your imperfections
You don’t have to be perfect to deserve your partner. Embrace your imperfections because he/she will also do so if he/she really loves you.
1. Seek for self-improvement
While you embrace your imperfections, don’t stop seeking for self-improvement. That’s for your own growth.
1. Stay independent
Remember that staying independent while you’re committed to your partner is a sign of a healthy and strong relationship.
1. Learn from your fights
Learn from every fight you have. Don’t do the same mistakes. It’s through those fights that you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship.
1. Don’t be hysterical and historical
When you’re at the peak of your emotions, you can get hysterical and historical. Avoid it so as not to worsen your fights.
1. Notice the little things
You may say you know your partner too well. However, make sure you notice the little things that make him/her happy or get mad.
1. Stay up late if necessary
Your partner has to feel that you’re willing to wait for him/her until he/she gets home safely.
1. Make little sacrifices
Don’t hesitate to make little sacrifices. That’s not an issue when you truly love your partner.

Indeed, being in a relationship is not easy. It can get really really hard. However, the list above cannot be exhausted, it also shows that there are realistic things you can do to make your relationship stronger. They may look simple, they may look hard but it’s your intention, sincerity, and effort that will matter. It also takes a choice and strong level of commitment to see it true! I wish you all the best.
1. Stay up late if necessary
Your partner has to feel that you’re willing to wait for him/her until he/she gets home safely.
1. Make little sacrifices
Don’t hesitate to make little sacrifices. That’s not an issue when you truly love your partner.

Indeed, being in a relationship is not easy. It can get really really hard. However, the list above cannot be exhausted, it also shows that there are realistic things you can do to make your relationship stronger. They may look simple, they may look hard but it’s your intention, sincerity, and effort that will matter. It also takes a choice and strong level of commitment to see it true! I wish you all the best.
April 4, 2020
COVID 19: Art community groans under huge loss

Over 80 percent of operators in the creative industry are declaring revenue losses amounting to millions of naira as a result of COVID-19 outbreak and have shut down. In Lagos, which is now the epicenter of the outbreak in Nigeria, those still in operation are offering skeletal services at a very huge loss. Assistant Editor (Arts) Ozolua Uhakheme reports.

From art galleries to theatre houses, cinemas, artists’ studios, hotels, viewing centres, book shops, arts and crafts shops have all shut down or running on less than five percent patronage. The coronavirus outbreak has hit the art, hotel and hospitality industries very hard.

The shutting down of these businesses might lead to a higher level of unemployment as the economic effect of COVID-19 continues to take its toll on operations and activities of SMEs especially. This is due to not only the risk to personal health for employees, but also because current travel restrictions within Lagos and other cities are preventing businesses from generating revenue through travellers and consumers using their services.

In the last one week, the pandemic has led to a partial shutdown of government, businesses, airports and markets with a ban placed on a gathering of more than 25 people in many parts of the country. Economic activities are beginning to slow down as units are advised to practise social distancing and proper health precautions to stem the spread of the virus.

Recall that the immediate past National President, National Association of Nigerian Travel Agents (NANTA), Mr. Bankole Bernard, recently said that last year travel agencies sold tickets worth $1 billion (about N360 billion) unlike now when travel agencies cannot make Easter sales as a result of the COVID-19.

Founder and Artistic Director, Crown Troupe, Lagos, Mr. Segun Adefila, is one of the many artistes whose creative fortunes have nosedived no thanks to the pandemic ravaging the globe since last year. His experiences are examples of what many of his colleagues are going through. According to him, like every other person, the pandemic affected and is affecting the art community, which is dominated by self-employed Nigerians.

“As artistes, the pandemic affected us. First and foremost, I was billed to go for a workshop in Netherlands, in a city called Rotterdam. The workshop is International Community Arts Festival. They invited me and everything was booked. I have gotten my tickets and everything including accommodation and I even committed some funds to it, which they were supposed to refund.

“I called the organisers on March 3, to ask if things were okay and in order, and they said ‘yes, everything is okay. We are still doing it.’ On March 12, they sent a message saying, ‘Segun we are sorry, our government said no gathering beyond 100 people.’ Of course, as at that time, this pandemic hasn’t gotten up to this level in Europe. So, they said any gathering above a hundred people is not allowed and that they are sorry to tell me that even though my workshop was already booked, people had gotten tickets for my workshops (it was a sold out workshop) but they had to cancel.

“So I said okay, no problem. I felt very pained. Unfortunately, also, we were already preparing for an Easter show here in Lagos, and we have gone ahead to book the National Theatre. The show was in collaboration with the National Theatre management and we booked April 10 till 13 and I was working with 34 young artistes. They come every morning and we rehearse from 7 a.m. It was a musical titled Disloyal Judas and it is an opera. We were so ready, the kids and everybody were happy and we were rehearsing. We thought it was not going to get to Nigeria, and then gradually we heard the virus has cropped into the country.

“And so, it was a painful thing to tell those young people “you know, we are going to put these rehearsals on hold because they said no gathering of more than 50 people”. I didn’t want them to endanger themselves too because they have been coming from their different homes and they will be in public transport. So, I had to cancel that rehearsal. There was this third one. On World Poetry Day, we were billed to perform at an event, a poetic café organised by Providus Bank in honour of Prof Wole Soyinka, which was also cancelled. So, you see me sitting in my compound within my large studio, surrounded by drums, musical instruments, a few of my artists and we cannot rehearse. In fact, we cannot do anything, it is that bad. So, what have we resorted to as artists? We write our poems, they are those solitary arts like poetry, singing alone. We are doing all of that and I hope this works,” he recalled with a heavy heart.

However, Adefila said such losses cannot be quantified in naira or kobo because, to him, art cannot be ‘commodified’. “Unfortunately, the losses cannot be quantified. You know, for some of us, art is not ‘commodified’. It cannot be reduced to naira and kobo even though the catalytic effect of money is undeniable,” he noted.

Assistant General Manager, Terra Kulture, Lagos, Tracy Nnanwubar, decried the impact of the virus on the operations of Terra Kulture, stating that the level of patronage of Terra Kulture since the social distancing order is less than 10 percent. She disclosed that the theatre hall was completely shut down in compliance with the government’s order on social distancing.

She described the shutdown as a real hard time as many of its facilities were almost operating below 10 percent. “Our theatre is currently non-operational amounting to zero percent, while the restaurant is operating between three to five percent. In a day, Terra Kulture incurred about one million naira loss,” she said.

Of particular concern is the planned staging of its popular Saro The Musical as part of its Easter events. This show has been cancelled because of the pandemic, which means a lot of financial losses.

How is Terra Kulture adjusting to the reality?

“We have scaled down operations by keeping only 10 percent of our staff strength to help us minimise operating costs while struggling to remain profitable.

“Our short-term measures include implementing social distancing and good hygiene to ensure none of our team members/their families/our customers contract the virus. Our restaurant and gift shop are open for deliveries only so that we don’t go against the social distancing law. If sales continue to dwindle, we may shut down operations completely until Covid-19 blow is over,” she added.

Painter and proprietor, One Draw Art Gallery, Lagos, Mr. Segun Adejumo, who has shut his art gallery over a week ago, blamed the huge loss on poor response by the government to the index case of the virus, saying the nation’s healthcare system was never prepared to contain such challenges because of its inadequate support facilities.

“We are not thinking of sales now. It is just safety for everyone by social distancing, period,” he added.

He lamented that Nigeria lost so much time to indecision and yet was ill-prepared to contain the pandemic. “We lost so much time. We were ill-prepared. Government is not in tune with the people. Maybe if public servants are compelled by law to use public utilities then they will have a better understanding of situation and this will cause them to act promptly. Business can’t run because this is the situation on ground

“I run an art gallery that makes me see a large set of internationally-connected people. So, my first instinct after noticing the world trend and the lack of desire of the Federal Government to close our borders or plan adequately for medicare was to simply close shop. We closed on Monday March 23, for two weeks to decide what our next step would be. Health is wealth, so, we chose to stay closed until we have a solution.

‘’The social media is full of false information. The head of government should have come out to calm the nerves of the nation by giving a proper appraisal of the situation, showing understanding of this virus and with expert advice on what best to do,” Adejumo said.

April 1, 2020
RUTH ADEBANWO: Mum taught me to be independent

Ruth Adeola Adebanwo is the Captain for Ibom Airlines. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she opens up on early life, how she dumped her passion to be a medical doctor to being a pilot,, the things that inspire her especially her mother who single handedly raised eight children against many odds.

HOW long have you been in the sector?

It has been a very interesting journey and I would say that being a pilot is a different thing and being a captain is also different. I finished my training as a pilot in 2003 and I learnt so many things on the job.

Where did you train?

I trained in South Africa. Interestingly, what inspired me to train as a pilot started many years back. As a young girl, I just finished my secondary school in Kaduna. I was born there, so I went with me elder brother to see a friend of his that worked at the airport. Initially, as a young girl my dream was to be a medical doctor. When I got to the airport, I got talking with some of the pilots, that was how the inspiration started, I developed the interest and that was it.

Did you have any fears at the beginning?

No, I didn’t have any fears . The training was for two years and at that point, I had made up my mind that this was what I wanted to do. , I started in 2001 and finished in 2003.

Where did you work before IBOM Airlines?

When I came back from my training, I worked first with Julius Berger/Dana in Kaduna. We were seconded there because I was a staff of Dana Air but I was seconded to fly Julius Berger, Aircraft. After that. I worked with Aero contractors for some years before joining Arik. It was from there that I crossed over to IBOM Air. I joined IBOM Air last year and it has been a very interesting experience.

How many years have you been flying and soaring in the skies?

Its been seventeen good years. The good, bad and ugly. Of course, there are days that can be a bit scary especially when you enter some severe weather. Of course, days like that are things that you get once in a while and you are prepared for such.. It is something we go through once in a while and as pilots we don’t usually like raining seasons. Everybody knows that. These are days when you have thunderstorms. Those can be really severe.

Tell us about your husband, is he also a pilot?

No , he is a business man. He likes what I do and he has never complained. He knows that flying is what actually gives me joy. If I have worries or anything bothering me in the home, once I enter the airplane, I am a different person entirely. I just forget everything. It is something that I love doing.

Tell us about your parents. How did they influence your personality?

My parents are separated. I grew up with my mum basically. When I wanted to be a pilot, my mum supported 100 per cent. And when I told her that I wanted to be a pilot, there where people that opposed the idea being a female. There was a day she told someone about it because it entails a lot of money and they tried to discourage her. . You need a lot of money for training and when she was talking about it and the fact that she would need a lot of money, they told her why would you want to spend so much money on a girl, it was like a waste on a female. They told her that if it was any of her sons that wanted to be a pilot, it would be better. She just got upset, told the person off. So like I told you, my parents are divorced and we grew up with my mum. She is a very strong woman, we are eight children and she brought all of us up, all by herself. As a child , she raises your ear to hear, understand the issues. We are also five girls, so she was also telling us all the time that as a girl, you have hands, you have legs, so you don’t have a problem, if you can walk, then you have to work hard. Do not depend on anyone.

This era of corona virus, a lot of people are afraid to travel to places, how do you feel as a captain, and what advise do you have for Nigerians?

Well, the good thing is that we don’t have the problem in Nigeria, the way you have it you have it in other parts of the world. Of course, you have people that come from other countries and then take the local flight. We had a case last week, someone sneezing and coughing and people did not want to sit with him. So, they came to tell me asking. What do we do? So, I said we have to protect everybody and we said he needs to use the mask and stay alone. We had to separate him, then he refused to take the mask. We then told him that it is either he takes it, use it to protect others, not just himself or he comes down from the flight.

Is there anything else that you are passionate about?

I love reading. I am also passionate about helping other people. I love touching lives especially the less privileged people around me. Making other’s happy motivates me in different ways.

What would be the most memorable moment in your life and career?

The day I became a captain. Nothing compares to it.

Tell us about the women you admire?

I admire women that are very hardworking. This include women that are uneducated but strive to make their children successful. The list also includes educated women who make a difference in their society.. I also admire a number of other women because of their integrity.

What advice do you have for young people who want to go into the sector?

I would advice them to trust in God with all their heart. They should be dedicated, focused and not be afraid. Two Bible passages to hold onto are Proverbs 3 Verse 5 which says: Trust in the Lord with all Rhine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

The second is Proverbs 3 Vs 6 In all thine ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path”.

March 29, 2020
CHRIS OKAGBUE: I started showbiz at 17

He is from a royal background. Despite this he has been able to carve a niche for himself in the entertainment industry and has become a celebrity. In this interview with Omolara Akintoye, the model, actor, producer and winner of Gulder Ultimate Search Season 8, Chris Okagbue bares his mind among other issues.

HOW does it feel to be famous?

Well I don’t really see myself as someone who is famous and I also do not think that I’m as famous as most people think. Yes it’s true that one or two people recognize me and walk up to me and say that I’m this and they want to take pictures with me, but to be honest with you, I don’t feel any different. Maybe, because I’ve been doing this for too long and I’m used to it, I started doing this when I was very young at the age of 17, so I still pretty much live my normal life and I don’t think there is any difference Tell us about growing up, your parents, what kind of person is your father?

Chris Okagbue is an actor, model and producer, I also do a lot of other things; I play piano, guitar, I do gymnastics, acrobatic, I write screen plays, songs, I sketch, I dance, I’m a professional dancer because I used to be in a dance group. Amongst so many other things, I like to learn to do a lot of many other things just for the sake of knowing it and some way somehow these things, at one point or the other in my life and career has helped me stood out or make the difference for me.

I’m a graduate of Sociology from the University of Lagos, I have five siblings: one elder sister Sandra Okagbue who is a former model and beauty queen, a twin brother and three younger sisters. My parents; my dad, Late H.R.H Obi Ofala Okechukwu Okagbue (God rest his soul) and Ogechukwu Clara Okagbue. My father was a great man when he was alive, he was as good as any other dad out there, he set examples, always looking out for us and he provided for us.

How does it feel to come from royal family?

The truth is I can’t say how it feels, because I was born into royalty, I grew up not knowing anything else, if it was a case of your father decides to run for public office and he was elected and then your life changes from what it used to be to something else, then it will be easier for you to explain the difference because there is obviously difference and there is a contrast, but I was born into it, by the time I was born my father was already the Obi of Onitsha, all my life I grew up living in royalty. But all I can say is that it’s a role with lots responsibility because of the family I came from and because of whom my father was, we are expected to live up to a certain standard. We also try as much as possible to be normal kids as well, so there was really nothing to it, it was cool.

What were you doing before you became a celebrity?

I started with modeling; I went into Showbiz at the age of 17 straight from High School. Before coming into Showbiz I was a regular guy who just went to school like everyone else but just had a dream of what I wanted to be in Showbiz, I just love everything about entertainment; I wondered what it would be like to be on the billboard, TV Screen etc but prior to then I was just like a regular person just living my life. My first venture into showbiz was as a model in 2004, when I featured in commercials for brands like Cadbury Plc, MTN, Nigerian Breweries, Coca-Cola and Airtel at age 17. I later sojourned into acting in 2007 when by coincidence I got a role after accompanying friends to an audition and decided to give it a try. I landed my first role there and then as Preye Pepple in the TV Series The Station, and so many other roles. I made my first appearance in a big screen film landing a small role in the movie A Wish, followed by the movie Playing Safe, both directed by Elvis Chuks. My biggest role is as the lead character in the critically acclaimed movie Lotanna and this has opened so many other opportunities for me.

How many movies have you featured in so far, any lead role?

I’ve featured in about 70 movies or more and this include: TV Series, Features films and Stage plays. I’ve had tons and tons of lead roles from the lead role which I consider a success story from Lotanna to Kada River to Playing Safe etc. the truth is I’ve had more lead roles than sub-lead roles

What are some of the challenges encountered so far in the industry?

For me personally, challenges should probably be the struggle or the strife to always outdo myself and also there are period when work is not forthcoming, I’m the kind of person that gets restless when I’m not working. There are times when no one is hiring you, or you go for auditions and not get call backs, it could be a struggle, but I’m always on the positive side, I keep my head up and keep moving, so to me those are not challenges but stepping stones to greater heights.

Tell us some of your success stories?

There is quite a number of them but I think the one that stands out that i can remember might probably be in Lotanna movie, I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be an actor in the film but rather an Investor, one of the Executive Producers but on reading the script, I discovered that the character was someone who could sing, play instrument and obviously act as well which were things that I already knew how to do. We had a conversation about it and as it turned out, I ended up playing the lead role which I consider a success story because Lotanna movie ended up breaking records, open up other ways for us as well as more opportunities and positioned us in the Industry. We got at least 5 nominations from the EMVCA in 2018 and won 2 out of them, I also won a Personal Award for best New Comer for my role in the movie at the Zulu African Film Academy Awards in the UK and a host of other awards and nominations. So I think that for me are success stories.

What is it you won’t do in the name of fame?

I’m a relatively private person, One thing that I probably will not do is put my family or my personal business out there so I can draw the attention of people. I see a lot of people doing this, I don’t know what their intention or motives are but for me, I protect my family and my personal life and people that I love jealousy. I really don’t like to put them out there because it’s a crazy world, yes we have lots of fans but I realize that not everyone really loves you or have your best interest at heart, so I think one thing I will not do is to put my family out there the name of family in the name of fame or to get some traffic to my page or popularity or some stunts.

What is your philosophy about life?

I always say to myself that what is worth doing at all is worth doing well, if something is worth five minutes of my time then it’s pretty much worth 24 hours of my time, if I don’t want to do something then I probably won’t start it but once I do I give it a hundred percent commitment regardless of what I’m gaining out of it. Take for instance I get a movie role and you are paying me a sum of N500k and I come on stage and give you a hundred percent, if I get a movie role that one way or the other, for some reasons best known to me I’m able to collect half of the 500k, I won’t come on set and say because I didn’t get as much as I did on the last job I won’t give a hundred percent, not at all, I’ll still give a hundred percent, it’s not the money that will determine what I’m bringing to the table, because if I consider it worth doing, then I might as well do it very well in such a way that I’ll be proud. So one of my philosophy in life among many others is whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

Who are your role models?

I do not really have role models. I have people that I admire and they inspire me one way or the other, my role models will probably be my sister and my mother because they are the strongest people that I ever met and they inspire me a lot, I learn a lot from them and I look up to them because they are human.

You won the Gilder Ultimate Search Season 8 tell us your experience and the lessons learnt?

Well I participated in Ultimate Search the first time in 2010 which was Season 7, I remembered I only auditioned for the Show because I was curious to know what it was all about after having watched Season 1&4 and it was interesting to me because I’m the kind of person who love to do things that are physically challenging. Like I mentioned before, I love to do acrobatic and gymnastics, so I like stunts and stuff like that, and the Show was interesting to me. Then I had the time then I wanted to get admission into the University, I was basically just home busy going for one modeling audition or the other, doing a few jobs, and getting a few cash in my pockets. Then I said to myself I could give this Show a trial, I told my best friend we went for it and we didn’t get in the first year, second year I tried again and I got on the Show and it was a great experience, something that I actually do miss sometimes, it wasn’t very easy having to live in the jungle for 30 days; battling all sort of things and battling each other as well to survive evictions as well. I also remembered not going for the Show to win, I went into it with the mindset to do as much as I can go, as far as I can and then eventually leave the Show, my aim was to make as much impact as possible to leave a lasting memory and whatever the platform or your presence on the show give you, use it to push yourself further in your career, well God had a better plan for me because I won the Show.

It was a wonderful experience, Ultimate Search gave me a lot, it expose me to a lot of opportunities, it gave me a broader audience, I remember I got on Tinsel right after the Show, a lot of things started coming: I went to represent Nigerian breweries as a brand in so many places, I was also involved in the following years Ultimate Search as a key keeper playing a special role which I got paid for and not just because you are a Brand Ambassador and so come and do it for free, I also featured in the Ultimate Search TV Commercials which I also got paid for. Yes it was a great experience representing the brand as at the time and I consider myself to still be brand ambassador even though not officially but I have a sentimental attachment to the brand and I’m hoping that I can still partner with them in future to execute projects, it had no doubt been a wonderful experience for me one that I wouldn’t have traded for anything.

How does it feel combining modeling and acting?

Well I don’t do a lot of modeling anymore these days, I think I’ve done enough of that in my career but I do go for private or close casting, acting is my primary occupation right now, modeling is more like secondary now.

With the proliferation of movies nowadays, don’t you think the industry has been bastardized?

Its two things, we have a lot of content out there and not everything is great, but there is room for improvement, and I can tell you that we have really improved looking at the industry. Looking at where we were many years back compared to where we are now, a lot has improved in terms of picture quality, production value, the level of work that goes into it, things are changing and change is good. So we are making progress, but I believe we can do better. My advice is that we should try not to lose what is important because I feel that we are drifting away from telling good stories to just bringing out good pictures which you watch and you just feel good about the pictures but you are not gaining anything in particular from the story line, because it is not impacting your life positively. So we can improve.

What is your advice to someone following your footsteps?

First and foremost be sure you have something good to offer, the industry is tough enough as it is for people who have the talent, talent is not enough, you must have something that you are bringing to the table and you must be willing to do the work that are involved, do not come in with a sense of entitlement, which I think most young people are having. I’ve met a few of them and they are coming in with this sense of entitlement. Quite a number of us have been lucky so far but we are still pushing it, we are not giving up, do not come and think all will be rosy, rather be willing to do all that is involved, be willing to pay your dues, work hard and be open minded to learning especially from people who have been there before you. Also I believe there is a God factor in everything we are doing, put God first in whatever you do and you’ll see Him guiding you.

How do you relax?

I like to watch series and I like to spend a lot of time with my family. I mean my family of orientation, because I’m not yet married. So I like to spend a lot of time with my twin brother, my sisters and my mum, just being home with them is enough for me. I like to play Video games, play some music and just relax, reboot and refresh myself before I go out there.

Final word

A shout out to everyone who has supported me so far, I’m here because of my fans.

March 29, 2020