Control your own temper. Always watch your own behaviour around your child. One of the best ways to teach him appropriate behavior is to control your own temper. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, your child probably will follow your example.
Stay strong. If you must discipline your child, do not feel guilty about it and certainly don’t apologize. If your child senses your mixed feelings, he will convince himself that he was in the right all along and you are the “bad” one. Although disciplining your child is never pleasant, it is a necessary part of parenthood, and there is no reason to feel guilty about it. Your child needs to understand when he is in the wrong, it is important to take responsibility for his actions and be willing to accept the consequences
When to call the paediatrician:
If your child seems to be unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks, and you cannot cope with his behavior on your own, consult your pediatrician. Other warning signs include:
Physical injury to himself or others (teeth marks, bruises, head injuries)
Attacks on you or other adults
Being sent home or barred from play by neighbours or school
Your own fear for the safety of those around him
The most important warning sign is the frequency of outbursts. Sometimes children with conduct disorders will go for several days or a week or two without incident and may even act quite charming during this time, but few can go an entire month without getting into trouble at least once.
Once several effective ways are found to reward good behavior and discourage bad, they can be used in establishing an approach that works both at home and away. The progress may be slow, but such programs usually are successful if started when the disorder is just beginning to develop.
Remember:
The best way to prevent aggressive behaviour is to give your child a stable, secure home life with firm, loving discipline and full-time supervision during the toddler and preschool years.
THE Football Association will limit how often young players can head balls in training, to address growing health fears.
An outright ban is not expected, rather a reduction in how many times players under 18 can head the ball, according to reports.
It comes after mounting pressure on the English football’s governing body to acknowledge research linking moderate traumatic brain injury – such as that caused by heading the ball – and a higher risk of developing dementia.
Last October, a landmark study found that professional footballers have a much-increased risk of dying from dementia and other serious neurological diseases.
It prompted plans from The Scottish Football Association to completely ban primary school children in Scotland from heading the ball.
The FA said at the time there was not enough evidence to change its stance, but appear to have backtracked.
The FA confirmed to MailOnline they are finalising to confirm its plans later this month. The guidance will vary for different ages.
The change comes after talks with the Scottish FA, The Times reported.
Many officials and sports players believe a limit on heading is a necessary precaution in light of existing research.
October’s study, which was funded by the FA and the PFA, the player’s union, showed that former players are three-and-a-half times more likely to die of dementia than normal people of the same age.
The 22-month ‘FIELD study’, conducted by the University of Glasgow’s brain injury group, also found a five-fold increase in the risk of Alzheimer’s, a four-fold increase in motor neurone disease and a two-fold increase in Parkinson’s.
CRISTIANO RONALDO has revealed that he envisaged becoming a fisherman on the shores of Madeira as a boy — not one of the greatest players to have ever graced the game of football.
The Portuguese superstar turned 35 on Wednesday and took a moment to look back on his incredible career, which has seen him win nearly all there is to win in the sport.
But today’s reality wasn’t even a pipe dream when he was a child, admits Ronaldo, who believed he would instead spend his day-to-day life on the coast of the small island where he grew up.
When asked where he thought he would be the age of 35 as a kid, Ronaldo told Canal 11: ‘I thought I was going to be a fisherman in Madeira.
‘This never came into my mind. I wanted to be a professional football but I didn’t think I was going to win everything I’ve won.’
Now in the twilight of his career, Ronaldo is still as hungry as ever to further his legacy and he has set his sights on winning a sixth Champions League title.
‘To play at Juventus gives me the chance to win it again,’ he continued. ‘We know it’s difficult, it depends on many factors, but it’s possible because we have a good team. We must take one step at a time going forward.’
Ronaldo is a five-time Ballon d’Or winner and has won league and domestic honours wherever he has played.
HARDLY will you turn the pages of any of our major newspapers without running across the names of these power females in the course of a week.
We are talking about the likes of Mo Abudu, Uju Ifejika , Folorunsho Alakija, Chantelle Abdul, Bola Shagaya, Stella Okoli, Shade Okoya, Toyin Sanni, Ibukun Awosika, Tara Fela-Durotoye, Nike Ogunlesi, Dr Ola Orekunrin and a host of others.
Beautiful, bold and brainy, these female Chief Executive Officers do not only dominate their turfs in a world where men rule the roost, they also inspire millions of men and women with their outstanding accomplishments, bold decisions, unique sense of style, gravitas and elegance.
They have legions of fans within Nigeria and all over the world. Each time they grace events, everything about them is noted as sources of fashion, fad and style inspiration by thousands of women.
This group of women do not merely bask in the glow of their career accomplishments; they are powerful speakers, able leaders and successful businesspersons, at a time when the Chief Executive Officer position appears to be dominated by men.
Mo Abudu
Mosunmola Abudu, popularly known as Mo Abudu, is a Nigerian media mogul, media personality, philanthropist, who has been described by Forbes as Africa’s most successful media woman.
Mo founded EbonyLife TV, a network airing in more than 49 countries across Africa, as well as in the UK and the Caribbean in 2006. EbonyLife TV has offices in Lagos, Abuja and the Tinapa Resort, Calabar, Cross River State. She is a class of her own fashion-wise. Uju Ifejika
Catherine Uju Ifejika is a Nigerian lawyer and Chairperson/CEO of Brittania-U Nigeria Limited (BUNL), an indigenous petroleum company for upstream exploration and production, and Brittania-U Ghana Limited (BUGL).
She has received both national and international awards for best practices in business leadership. She is believed to be one of the most powerful women in oil and gas industry in Africa and one of the richest women in Africa. She is a leader in the fashion- dictating women population.
Mo Abudu founded EbonyLife TV
Chantelle Abdul
Chantelle Abdul, a fashion pace-setter, is the Managing Director and chief executive of Mojec International Limited, a conglomerate with subsidiaries in the energy, real estate, retail and power sector with operations across Africa and Asia.
The company’s power sector has a meter assembly facility, which produces indigenous smart pre-paid meters, the first of its kind in the country.
Chantelle Abdul, a fashion pace-setter, is the Managing Director and chief executive of Mojec International Limited
Stella Okoli
Stella Chinyelu Okoli is a Nigerian pharmacist, entrepreneur, founder and chief executive officer of Emzor Pharmaceutical, a pharmaceutical manufacturing company.
Prior to the establishment of Emzor Pharmaceutical, Stella had worked in several pharmaceutical firms, including Middlesex Hospital, London, Boots the Chemists Limited and Pharma-Deko.
In January 1977, Stella started Emzor Pharmaceutical with the initial name, Emzor Chemists Limited as a small pharmacy retail shop in Somolu, Lagos State.
Emzor Pharmaceutical has since become one of the leading pharmaceutical companies in Nigeria with over 50 products since its incorporation in 1984. She is one of the most stylish women in the country.
Stella Chinyelu Okoli is a Nigerian pharmacist, entrepreneur, founder and chief executive officer of Emzor Pharmaceutical, a pharmaceutical manufacturing company.
Folorunso Alakija
Folorunsho Alakija is a renowned and well respected Nigerian entrepreneurial woman. She is involved in the fashion, oil, real estate and printing sectors.
She is the group managing director of The Rose of Sharon Group, which consists of The Rose of Sharon Prints & Promotions Limited, Digital Reality Prints Limited and the executive vice-chairman of Famfa Oil Limited.
She also has a majority stake in DaySpring Property Development company. A powerful dresser, Alakija is ranked by Forbes as the richest woman in Nigeria with an estimated net worth of $1 billion.
As of 2015, she is listed as the second most powerful woman in Africa after Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and the 87th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes.
Folorunsho Alakija is a renowned and well respected Nigerian entrepreneurial woman. She is involved in the fashion, oil, real estate and printing sectors.
Bola Shagaya
Hajia Bola Shagaya is a Nigerian businesswoman and the managing director of Practoil Limited, one of the largest importers and distributors of base oil in Nigeria, serving local lubricant blending plants.
Her businesses also include huge investments in real estate, spanning across major cities in the country with over 300 employees.
She started her career with the audit department of the Central Bank of Nigeria before venturing into commercial activities.
An eye turner even at her age and a highly fashionable woman, her business experience started with the importation and distribution of photographic materials and she introduced the Konica brand of photographic materials into the Nigerian market and West Africa.
Hajia Bola Shagaya is a Nigerian businesswoman and the managing director of Practoil Limited
Toyin Sanni
Founder and CEO of the Emerging Africa Capital Group, Toyin Sanni is a lawyer, chartered secretary, stockbroker and author with over 30 years’ experience in senior management positions in investor services, law and finance.
Prior to her appointment as the Group CEO of United Capital, highly fashionable Toyin Sanni was CEO, United Capital Trustees Ltd (formerly known as UBA Trustees Limited), a United Capital subsidiary and market leader in the Trustees business.
With a background in securities law and extensive experience in corporate finance, trusts & asset management, she leverages networks and relationships across markets & her extensive experience working on leading transactions to achieve development goals.
Founder and CEO of the Emerging Africa Capital Group, Toyin Sanni is a lawyer, chartered secretary, stockbroker and author
Tara Fela-Durotoye
Nigerian beauty entrepreneur and lawyer, Tara Fela-Durotoye is the founder and CEO of House of Tara International and creator of the Tara Orekelewa Beauty range, Inspired Perfume and the H.I.P Beauty range.
Tara is a pioneer in the bridal makeup profession in Nigeria, she launched the first bridal directory in 1999, set up international standard makeup studios and established the first makeup school in Nigeria.
Nigerian beauty entrepreneur and lawyer, Tara Fela-Durotoye is the founder and CEO of House of Tara International and creator of the Tara Orekelewa Beauty range, Inspired Perfume and the H.I.P Beauty range.
Nike Ogunlesi
Nike Ogunlesi is the proud founder and creative director of Ruff ‘n’ Tumble-one of the best manufacturers of children’s clothing in Nigeria. Nike is a Nigerian fashion entrepreneur, a leading designer, manufacturer and retailer of designer children’s clothing. She is a force to reckon with in children’s fashion industry in West Africa
Nike Ogunlesi is the proud founder and creative director of Ruff ‘n’ Tumble-one of the best manufacturers of children’s clothing in Nigeria.
Sade Okoya
Sade Okoya, a fashion pace-setter and wife of billionaire industrialist, Chief RASAQ Okiya, is the Chief Executive Officer of manufacturing giant, Eleganza Industrial City Limited, which produces various sizes and designs of plastic chairs, luggage boxes, coolers, baby diapers, ladies’ sanitary products, hair threads, stainless water tank, shoes etc. Eleganza group of companies has a market reach spanning Western Africa.
Sade Okoya, a fashion pace-setter and wife of billionaire industrialist, Chief RASAQ Okiya, is the Chief Executive Officer of manufacturing giant, Eleganza Industrial City Limited
Dr Ola Orekunrin-Brown
Olamide Orekunrin is a British-Nigerian medical doctor, founder and managing director of Flying Doctors Nigeria, a leading air ambulance service and charity based in Lagos, Nigeria.
After graduation, Olamide worked for a short period of time in the National Health Service, United Kingdom. As a helicopter pilot with specialised training in aviation medicine, she pioneered the first air operated emergency medical services in Lagos, Nigeria; Flying Doctors Nigeria Ltd.
Ola, a fashion icon, was motivated to start the charity after experiencing the loss of her sister under difficult circumstances and to improve medical services in Nigeria she successfully established Flying Doctors in Lagos in 2007.
Olamide Orekunrin is a British-Nigerian medical doctor, founder and managing director of Flying Doctors Nigeria, a leading air ambulance service and charity based in Lagos, Nigeria.
Last October, Nigeria’s Prince Wale Osiyemi re-awakened the social life of London with his Bootleggers Re-union party, a now elite community of people who were teenagers in the days of ‘Soul Train’ and sojourners abroad in the late 80s and 90s. They enjoyed the best of life, the best of party groove in the UK, USA and Nigeria. The party took place at Littlecroft Mansions, owned by Lord of Radlett, and boasted of elegant taste and royal class. On arrival, guests were treated to champagne and canapés. And guests from Nigeria, UK, USA arrived in Rolls Royce and other outlandish vehicles. Prince Osiyemi, a prince of Ago Iwoye in Ogun State, in this interview with PAUL UKPABIO, shares with us, the memories of London as a club owner then and now; his American connections; growing up in Lagos; his links with Northern Nigeria and more.
YOU had a big come-back re-union party recently in London; why did you do it?
There had been a big vacuum in the London entertainment scene since I left the scene for politics in Nigeria. So, on return from a family trip in Dubai, I received calls from four different locations in the UK, from people telling me about the need for me to do something about the entertainment scene in UK.
They said, ‘Wale, you have to do something.’ So, I took that as a message from God. I soon realised the vacuum and the yearning. People wanted the kind of things that I had done before. So, that was the motivation.
It wasn’t about business for money but it was more about bringing people together to enjoy, to network, because most of us have grown and risen to the top in various fields of human endeavours. Some are royal fathers, some in government and some business tycoons.
How did you start what is now termed the biggest come-back into entertainment scene in the UK?
I created a WhatsApp group and the information went viral in a few days. People were calling from different continents, begging to get into the group because we reached the maximum number required and we had to start looking for solutions in other platforms to accommodate people.
I did not realise that while I was doing entertainment as a hobby, I had touched lives. Some people were calling me to tell me that they met their spouses at Bootleggers; that was what the entertainment outfit was called then.
I didn’t realise that I was creating a community, the Bootleggers. So there are a lot of Bootleggers children out there. Others even called me to say that their first ever car was driven to Bootleggers for a show off back then.
Others called to say that they came to Bootleggers to pour champagne after they made their first huge earning. My ears were full.
I was humbled to suddenly realise that my name had been coming up in many homes in London and beyond. ‘Wale’s club is where I met this person or that person.’ That blew my mind; so I decided to do it all over again.’
After having the party, did it fulfill the objective you had in mind?
Oh, yes, it did and more than that. It rattled the cages of those who are today supposed to be doing entertainment in London. Most of them have started advertising the way I blew up the event we had.
They have rushed to the social media and recognised it as a power-tool for marketing. I have seen four supposedly former DJs who were there when I was there in those days, who were not happy with this event we just had.
They felt very bad and even mentioned it that I have come back to take over the entertainment scene, which of course confirms that I was definitely on top of the entertainment scene before I left.
There was a rave among top Nigerian society folks about the choice of the venue, tell us about it
My past record had it that I have been having parties on a yacht, at exclusive clubs, at Hilton Park Lane. So, I didn’t want to come back after about 25 years or more to do the ordinary or have a laid back venue for the Bootleggers re-union party.
I was offered the current best clubs in the UK and I am talking about a club that has no signboard outside, a secret club. But when I went inside, it could hold about 1,000 to 2,000 people on two floors.
But I said it’s still a club and I needed a parking space for all the people coming for the event. Then two things came to my mind that I should do it in a mansion away from London where people could drive to, and have a weekend affair out of it.
Wale Osiyemi
A lot of the American crowd and the Lagos crowd were calling that they were coming into London for the re-union event. So, I didn’t want them to come in to London only to go to a club. So, it had to be a location. I thought of somewhere in Windsor, maybe near the Windsor Castle, which would bring in the royals.
But then it looked as if we were pushing it too hard, but we got Lord of Radlett who is a social person and he offered his place in Ratlett. And that sealed the exclusivity of the event. Suddenly, two of the four bad belle DJs I mentioned earlier, decided to have events on the day we picked for the re-union in order to divert the crowd from our event.
They were calling people on our group one after the other, and telling them not to come to our party. Unknown to them, their action was only helping me to advertise the event more; many called and said they came because they were told not to come.
The re-union was not done for money. I may not be the richest guy around in our circle in London, but I thank God who has been very good to me in terms of finance. I did the event to bring us all around. These big guys and big girls wanted to do it all again the way we did it in the early 90s.
What was life like for you as a prince growing up in Nigeria?
Life was just like that of any other. I’m from a Christian family that God has blessed and as the only son, a lot of emphasis was put on me not to misbehave. My father was a President of the Nigerian Institute of Public Relations. He was a strict but very sociable man.
He was also the social secretary of Island Club; so he was well known. Growing up in the shadow of a man like that who was well known, strict at home but jovial with everybody outside, meant that I couldn’t go wrong because someone somewhere could know me and tell him.
So I had to learn the right way, do the right thing and speak the right way. I thank God that with the right friends and environment they put me in, God kept me on a straight and narrow path. It is my mom that I will say devoted her time to bring me up in the knowledge of being a prince.
‘Why any successful man should be careful about female advances’
How about your other siblings?
Oh, I have four sisters.
Were you a privileged child?
Would I say so (laughs)? I know where privileged children are. If I was, I was not made to realise it. I guess I should say that I have lived in a circle of friends who are right up there and I have also had friends who are down there. If I was brought up with such privileged mentality, I will have friends only in Ikoyi but I have friends in Ojuelegba too.
What is your relationship with Northern Nigeria?
My wife is from Northern Nigeria. She is the daughter of Late General Senator Abubakar Tanko Ayuba.
How did you meet?
We met in the United Kingdom. I met her through my best friend, who was close to her. This my best friend was female, the daughter of Adebisi Odutayo, who Sir Shina Peters famously sang of. We went to visit a female friend and there I saw someone that looked nice, someone that I liked instantly.
But the father was so strict that though he was a top military man living in Nigeria, she was still affected by the strictness, even while living in the UK.
The strictness permeated her home; so she was not having the opportunity to freely go out on her own. So I came up with a trick. I decided to throw a party so that she and her friend could have a reason to attend (laughs).
The idea turned out to be a brilliant one because every other place she went, she was monitored but couldn’t be followed to a party.
So, we had the party. Guess what after the party? We were all lazing about with music at the background, but she left us and went into the kitchen to wash the dishes.
And that shocked me because here was the daughter of a former governor, who was also a General and a former minister in my kitchen attending to chores, tidying up what we used for the party, while we lazy lots were feeling high in the sitting area and enjoying ourselves.
There and then, I made up my mind that this is the person I would marry. Her simplicity and dedication to duty impressed me. You know, I had already taken to her when I initially saw her.
This turned out to be the icing on the cake. I called the attention of one of my friends, urging him to go and see what was happening in the kitchen. My friend went to the kitchen and picked a drink, returned and he didn’t notice anything in the kitchen.
So I told my friend to go back there and look again. He went and came back to tell me that the General’s daughter was cleaning, tidying up the place.
So I jokingly asked him, ‘Se eyin were yi; e le lo take care of the kitchen ni?’ meaning: ‘So you lazy lot cannot go and tidy up the kitchen and you all left her to attend to it’.
That was how I knew she was a lady well brought up and decided to put up all my efforts to marry her. And 35 years after, the rest is history. We are still on it.
We have two children, a boy and a girl. My son plays for Abbey Rangers FC.
If you are a prince, it means that your father must be from a royal family?
Yes, my grandfather was the first crowned king of Ago Iwoye of Ogun State and my father was his first son Daudu. I am the Arole of the family, his only son.
Royalty seems to celebrate polygamy, how did you and your dad escape from polygamy?
The word polygamy was brought to us in Africa as part of the civilisation or colonisation of Africa under the guise of Christianity. Back in the days here in the UK, it was a norm for a noble man to have a wife and a mistress. I think it was in 1600 or so that it was re-addressed to one man and one woman.
It is not like it is in the bible that we should have one man one wife. At a point, it turned into a revolt when the nobles could just pick any of the women as mistress. And it was thought that it should be that as Christians, it should be a man and a woman.
Wale Osiyemi
King Henry had to leave the Catholic Church to Anglican because he wanted to take a second wife. So polygamy was a social cultural thing for the English then. So when Christianity and colonisation came to Africa, it affected us. My grandfather was a good looking young man then, he had five wives.
He was wealthy enough to keep them. Even then, because he was a king, some people would readily give their daughters to him for marriage. In those days also, marriage was used to promote inter-family relationships and business ties.
So it’s good to have one wife; more so when you look at all it takes to keep even one wife, the expenses and all that. But if you are so endowed to find two women who are of like minds, to be your wives, both will form a defence for you. Both can pray and protect you.
But first you have to find such women; which I don’t think comes easy. Don’t join two women who are opposites together, when they explode it won’t be funny. There’s a king in western Nigeria right now that has three and he is at peace with the three.
You are also known as an international businessman, what motivated you into business?
At a point, my friends and I took advantage of our background, identified our strong points and decided to work together in business to keep our wellbeing going. And I thank God for what He has done.
I am an engineer by training and also a certified project manager. Project management cuts across every sector. But lately, what gives me joy is my new business which is Royal Protocols, which puts events together and gives the time table of how and when every aspect of the event should go.
That is what I did at Ovation Red Carol and what I did when Otunba Gbenga Daniel opened his hotel recently in Abeokuta, and what I did at Otunba Alex O’s party too. I even did stage works at formula 1 in Abu Dhabi few weeks ago.
A prince in politics, you tried politics at a time, why did you stop?
I haven’t stopped. I was a former senior special adviser to ex-Governor Gbenga Daniel of Ogun State on Protocol and Special Duties and I later became a Local Government chairman of Ijebu North. I am still in politics presently as afi oba je. We worked recently with Dapo Abiodun to emerge a governor.
So what’s the difference between the London of the late 80s and early 90s and that of today and why does the old skool music still sound unique today? Life was good then. There was a lot of carefree lifestyle and people looked out for one another.
If you walked on the streets of London then, you were safe. You didn’t have to worry. But now when you are on the streets of London, you worry and pray that somebody does not come out from nowhere to stab you or do you something harmful.
Again, then we didn’t have children to look out for, your money was your money. But now, when you make money, madam must have part of it and it goes down to the children.
Then, if you had N1million, you asked yourself, how many bottles of champagne you can buy. It is natural for people to recall the period of good times. That’s why people recall those old skool music.
As a successful man, there’s no doubt ladies love coming close to you; how do you handle that?
I handle that with humility. Not every lady coming to you is coming to add. In most cases, they are coming to subtract. A man should not look at himself as Michael Jackson that ladies flock around because of looking good. It has its minus too. The ladies flock to take something.
Do you speak Hausa?
Yes, I do, though I am not fluent with it. I understand the culture because my father was the Public Relations Manager for the Nigerian Tobacco Company and their major base was in Zaria.
We used to go there a lot. That was when I started learning and speaking Hausa, so it wasn’t when I met my wife that I started learning. I understand Yoruba, I speak English and German language.
You love cars, tell us some of those that you have been attached to
I’ve had Roll Royce phantom, but my first love of a car is Jaguar and it was my first major car. I love Mercedes and SAAB too. It wasn’t like I was really crazy about these cars but I owned them so that I could also be mentioned that I owned such in life.
Treasure and Tracy Daniels are identical twins, who have so many things in common. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, Treasure speaks about their world as actresses, producers, models as well as what they would miss about their father who died few months back
TELL us about your experience in Nollywood and how the experience influenced your life and career
I am one of the most fortunate people in Nollywood because, to me, right from the start, luck played a lot of role for me especially in places where other new and upcoming actresses struggled. So I had a smooth entry and honestly did so little for the kind of grace and success that followed. For instance, my first movie role, which came to me as a surprise, came when I wasn’t even looking but I believe it was because we were twins. At that point, my twin sister and I had gone for a photo shoot at Hotel Presidential, Enugu, and it also happened to be a venue for some ongoing movie auditioning.
We didn’t have any idea that it could take place in Enugu State because at those times, movies only happened in Lagos. During our photo shoot, we surprisingly started running into a lot of super star actors and actresses, people we had only been able to see on TV. Here they were, right before our faces in reality. I mean people like Eucharia Anunobi, Pete Edochie; who is popularly known as Okonkwo of Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things fall Apart”. We also had Tony Umez, Clem Ohameze, referred to as Pastor Weaver, Sam Loco etc. We were super excited; it was like seeing the gods among us. Little did we know that we were about to be starred in a movie with these people. The director of the auditioning movie, Lancelot Oduwa Imansuen, referred to as THE GOVERNOR, had sent for my twin and me. We went to the audition hall and we got auditioned as Eucharia Anunobi’s daughters. Whatever we had done, must have impressed the crowd and we received a round of applause from the audition crowd, and that was how we got our first movie roles in the Last Burial 2 as Eucharia’s kids. That was how we made our grand entry into Nollywood.
I must also admit that most of the success I had in Nollywood had been because I’m an identical twin. It was very fascinating to most people, including me, to watch two human beings looking like a split of one walking in two. I always say that if you are a twin, you already are a star and don’t really require to do so much to shine because you already stand out.
However, even though it took just one audition call to get me and my twin co-starring in many and more Nollywood movies, we didn’t really sustain the pursuit for a very long time because growth had happened to us and what used to be so good and appealing to us became not really so good and appealing to us anymore as responsibilities also encroached.
One of the challenges was the fact that Nollywood producers never paid or had a budget for roles played by the younger ones in those days. I guess they believed that kids didn’t pay bills and therefore would not require to be paid some artist fees. It is also believed that if you find pleasure in appearing on movies with all the superstars you admire, that alone should serve as a good enough reward for you.
Also, some producers who found it fit to pay us for movie roles considered my twin and me as one individual and therefore should be paid the fee of one individual. All these experiences weren’t encouraging to us at all, but we managed it as kids at entry level. However, when we became grown women with bills to pay, we did not accept it anymore. That was one of the reasons we didn’t get frequent on movies as we used to.
The other reason was that our parents’ church, Christ Apostolic Church, persecuted our parents for our sake and made them withdraw their support for us as young actresses.
What are some of the memorable moments in your life and career?
There are a lot and I will try to narrow them down to the most recent good and painful moments of my life and of my career. The good part was when our new YouTube channel reached the monetisation threshold and was finally monetised by Google. After so much work and efforts which seemed like squeezing out blood out of stone, we overcame it. The second of course was the death of our dearly beloved father. It was the lowest moment of our lives and we are gradually overcoming this.
So after we started turning down roles with little or no decent budget on artist fee, we realised that years went by without us being featured in any movie. We then told ourselves that we were not going to budge to appear in movies and be made famous unnecessarily with empty pockets.
We were considered arrogant and stubborn by producers, but who cares for fame that would expose you to so many fans who would only come back on the blogs to say how poor you are living after appearing so fancy on movies. So, we had to stop taking those movie roles and waited as long for a decent production to be featured in.
On the other hand, our fans started getting worried and they kept looking for us everywhere. We didn’t even realise that we already had so many fans, we didn’t even realise that we have been noticed enough to be missed by so many people.
So, when their questions of our whereabouts became intense, we decided to start a YouTube Channel. This time, not to publish Nollywood movies (since that’s mostly what YouTube is all about to Nigerians, besides music), but to publish updates about my twin and I to our fans and followers. That was how our YouTube channel was born. The challenge was how to get all the people sincerely looking for us to find our VLOGS and our channel.
It’s ongoing and anyone who knows my twin and I very well will tell you that we never back out on whatever we really set our minds to do. No matter how seemingly impossible it may appear or how long it takes.
So, we started this channel simply to update our seekers and thought we might as well get paid by Google. We also serve as content providers by our vlogs and other activities we put out there to entertain our community. The response became almost magical from the video we made after receiving the news about our father’s exit and became almost inconsolable. In fact, those were the two videos which shot us up into qualifying for monetisation.
Our dad was seriously injured in a road accident which occurred on the 29th of October, just eight days after our birthday. He died four days later, precisely on the 3rd of November 2019 on the church altar during Sunday service. He was a priest of the most high God and he died in active service. It can rightly be said that my dad prepared his exit and chose all the events and places that aligned with his wishes. He chose the month, the day, the time and place to breathe his last. It was more than a coincidence and I began to have a turnaround from that single event of his exit and how it all happened. So, I concluded that life in itself is a big mystery and should be paid more attention than I am doing. His funeral arrangement is for the 6th and 7th of February 2020 at his hometown in Ogwudu Ngbo Ohaukwu local government area, Ebonyi State.
That is when his remains would be given up by men, but as for his real self, he left this world already, even death couldn’t dictate for him. He arranged his own exit and crossed over into a better place, with a superior body which cannot be destroyed.
I can boldly say I have my own personal guardian angel now and I am one of his legacies. It pains me that most of you reading did not get the chance to personally interact with my dad, The Rev. Daniel Nwokike Idenyi, to see what an angel he was, but I am consoled that you can always see him through me and my siblings and I promise to always represent him well. He was a man of integrity.
Who or what inspired you to go into Nollywood?
I would say the super stars who I used to see as mini gods, for example Eucharia Anunobi and Hilda Dokubo. They were so beautiful and spoke good English as well as had such a fanciful life in the movies. I admired them so much and just wanted to be just like them when I grew up. I didn’t know my dream was going to come knocking on my door almost immediately as kids.
Tell us about the current and future projects that you are working on
Okay, after we stopped taking non paying movie roles, one of the things we did was producing a couple of our own movies. They were funded by our family and friends and a pool of our little savings.
Most of these movies haven’t really been seen by our fans because we didn’t have the resources to circulate them successfully without being exploited by pirates and shylocks. Few times we attempted distribution, we spent so much in making more than half a million CDs and DVDs which almost never left the ware houses and those distributed were almost never accounted for by distributors.
We then called back some of the works and started our strategy on distributing and selling through online. This is one of our main focus for 2020 as well as getting these movies published online. This way people can get them instantly without hassles from any part of the world and each streaming properly accounted for. This would include ‘Unknown Caller’ which was our last personal production and a lot of people are waiting to see it.
What are the challenges you have encountered in your career?
The challenges that I am about to state out here are not so unique to me, or my career industry. It affects any young girl growing up from a third world country with nothing else to help but a dream would also be familiar to these challenges. It includes finance, in the third world especially. No one would care what dreams you have or how good they are until you break even. How can you break even without a financial support especially starting from point zero, doing what nobody else in your entire lineage has ever done, carving a niche for yourself in a very competitive industry where even children of the affluent with so much of their parents support still find it difficult to break even? We were able to carve out a name Tracy and Treasure Daniels
from that industry. You may have good movies or ideas that could give you further breakthroughs or bring in more money, but if no funding comes for it, you are as good as someone who hasn’t done something. So that’s the case, but we refuse to accept that as our reality. Instead, we always push ahead and make plans as though we have fundings, and that has been the magic which brought us this far. Most of these projects surprise even us on how we pulled through.
How do you relax?
I love to relax with a book when I’m not working, it could be a hard copy but it’s mostly an audio book. For me, lately as that allows me to multi task too while I learn.
Who are your role models?
It used to be many other people but now I see no better person to inspire me than the future and ideal me.
What advice do you have for the young ones?
The younger me is that little girl that has nobody, no handed down advantages, no inspiration and just a modest livelihood while growing up. But in spite of all these, she still lived her dreams anyway. If you are in anyway close or relate to this or similar background, then here is a word for you. It doesn’t matter what others are doing, do yours anyway; it doesn’t matter who has gone ahead of you, run your own race anyway; it doesn’t matter how loud other voices ahead of you are, make your own voice heard; oppositions are nothing, fear is nothing. Also remember that excuses are nothing, only your determination is something; the only thing that gets you far.
You just lost your father. What would you miss most about him?
I have this penchant for quality people. I admire them like women would admire a rare piece of gem. And my dad happens to be one of such people. He was such an admirable person. I’ll miss having a lover of mankind take my calls. I liked to talk to him on phone. He has this calming effect that makes you see life so easy. He also had a deep sense of humour which demands a lot of intelligence to grab. I’ll miss that, I’ll miss how he accepted everybody the way they are. He loved humanity, he saw no wrong in anyone, he helped people when he needed help the most. I feel so honoured to be born and raised by my dad, Rev. Daniel Nwokike Idenyi; a man of integrity. Shine on, my dad.
How would you assess the performance of women in the sector you are operating in?
I love the recent development of women in Nollywood stepping up to be and do more things that weren’t considered for women earlier in Nollywood. There was a time when the Nollywood icons were mostly men and it seemed like whatever was done those days had to be anchored around the males. Then there had to be male lead starring above everyone else for a movie to be considered proper. Now it is no longer the case; women, especially young girls, star above all features and the movie is still considered successful.
In addition, women head the camera crew, women sponsor and co sponsor movies, women produce movies and more. I would rate women as trail blazers and I am so proud to be a woman.
Tinuola Oladeji is a designer and CEO of Tsmart Hub, a one-stop lifestyle store borne out of the passion to give her customers comfort and class. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about her inspiration, running a fashion academy, memorable moments in the sector and more.
WHAT or who inspired you to go into the fashion business?
I have been in the sector for about fifteen years and I must say that the journey has been fulfilling and filled with so many memorable moments. My love for expressing myself through my outfits had been a great source of inspiration and motivation. On the job, I have learnt so many things and one of this is that I discovered that many women were insecure about their bodies. So, I wanted to help them love themselves through finely made outfits.
What was it like at the beginning?
The beginning was beautiful because I was consumed with the passion of helping people solve the problems of looking their best. Sincerely, though the beginning was very ugly, I was too in love with my new found obsession.
What were you doing before this and what was the experience like?
That was another interesting part of my life and it prepared me for the new phase. I was a trained marketer and sales person. Then I was working as marketer in an organisation that provides electronic securities to banks and it was good exposure for me.
Let’s talk about some memorable moments in your life and career
I must say that there are so many memorable events that make me happy each time I remember them. However, the one that I will love to share is what I call my failed seminar. Then I organised a seminar themed “the brand called me”. For the event, I expected 100 people to attend, spent all my savings, but only 11 people attended.
There definitely must be challenges encountered…
There are different challenges and looking back, I will say that they came with the different stages of the business.
For example, I remember that space to work was a major challenge at a time because I started business in a one-room apartment where I lived with my parents and my other siblings. Moving on, at different stages, raising funds to implement ideas too were tough but interesting. Also leading my employees right was challenging at another point but gradually I learnt the ropes and overcame many of the challenges. In addition, there were also some external challenges and this includes things like government policies.
Would you consider the sector lucrative?
Yes, I would say that the sector is extremely lucrative. There are so many opportunities and there is space for you to excel.
Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life and career?
My relationship with my creator is my greatest influence in my life.
Let’s compare when you started doing this and now, what has changed?
A lot has changed from when I started to now. For example, the social media has made the world a global village where my audience is now wider.
In addition, I must say that consumer awareness is higher now; choices are more now. The sector is dynamic and you find that the acceptance of locally made apparels is higher and there are so many opportunities. That explains why entrepreneurship in the sector is celebrated more now unlike what we had in the past.
In what ways has been a designer changed your lifestyle?
It has brought out the best in me and you are ever thinking of new ideas. So, being a designer has helped my creativity, helped bring to life my topmost desire of changing and helping the world. Now I have a vision of clothing five million African children by year 2025.
What are some of the changes that you will like to see in the sector?
I will love a sector where people have the knowledge of running a business properly, not just knowing how to cut and sew. I will also love to see that importation from China and Turkey reduces by 50% because there are now big factories in Nigeria that can meet up the demand. Lastly, I will love to see a sector where technology rules.
Have you learnt any lesson in all of these?
I have learnt so many lessons but will love to share few. This includes building a sustainable business that is dependent on people, so build your people. I also learnt that structured business has more tendency to outlast the owner. That is why my quest for a structured business never ends. Financially, I am more knowledgeable to make wise business decisions, which is critical to the growth of any business.
What is your definition of style?
For me, I would say that style means my expression of self. I will never go nude in the name of fashion.
What are some of the things that you treasure most in life?
I treasure my relationship with God. I also treasure my relationship with my family.
How do you relax?
I dance and love good food.
Let’s talk about the best job that you handled
We have handled great jobs. We celebrate every opportunity to do jobs for individuals and organisations. We do not regard any as bigger than others.
Akinola Oluwatomiwa Balqees, the Chief Executive Office of Miwa Signature Palace is called Kayanmata Goddess because she uses Kayanmata, a Hausa herb to resolve sexual issues in both men and women.
But beyond her expertise in which she’s become known as the best in the trade, Miwa is a drop dead beauty that radiates charm and warmth better felt and seen to be believed. She’s simply a fetish beauty but a sex therapist who has brought joy to many marriages and relationships.
On why she’s called a goddess, Miwa offered, “I’m called the Kayanmata Goddess because my products speak for itself and people value my knowledge. I understand what I do and above all, I have a pretty face. Most of my products are of international standard, the ones locally produced are acquired directly from the source. I have the best suppliers. My bestseller is TFK powder, it’s an addictive Sweetener that benefits both partners. Adodun soap is a native soap from Ikare in Ondo state, it’s for sweetening, bonding and tightening,” she said with the air a true goddess beholding her kingdom beneath her feet.
On how she became ‘Kayanmata Goddess’ and how she came about it and the meaning of the word, the Miwa Signature Palace boss explains: “Kayanmata is a Hausa word, meaning ‘Women’s things’. They are herbs used to enhance sexual pleasure. Kayanmata is the same as aphrodisiac, anything that is used to stimulate sexual pleasure. I started business in my 2nd year in the University. I’m a graduate of Electrical Electronic Engineering, University of Ilorin. I heard about Kayanmata from my instructor who then was teaching me how to produce skincare products. I picked interest in it because of my parent’s separation, I had a vision to mend all broken homes.”
And as many may think of aphrodisiac as something obscene and indecent, the Kayanmata Goddess, as she’s called believes she’s on a mission to save marriages and affirmed nothing would have stopped her from pursuing her dream even if the challenges are as damning as they were when she was starting out. “I tell people its a calling. Not everyone has the balls to go into aphrodisiac business. Abroad, its a norm, but in Nigeria, you are tagged a prostitute. I started selling aphrodisiac in my 2nd year in the university, I was shy when people got to know. I was tagged the “juju seller” and I would cry myself to bed. I skipped a whole semester, I had to rebrand my life and develop a thick skin. It’s not for the weak, It was challenging, it was only reviews from customers that encouraged me. We conquered anyways. The business is wide and I’m still learning but yet the best in the game.
Akinola Oluwatomiwa Balqees is a native of Ikare, Ondo State. She started her business in 2014 with skin care products. She ventured into aphrodisiac majorly in 2016. Miwa is known for her major impact in women’s sexual lives. The electrical engineer from University of Ilorin is the number one Kayanmata seller in Nigeria and indeed the world. She owns the largest Kayanmata palace in Ilorin, Nigeria and two other branches in Ilorin, Kwara State. She plans to open another branch in Lagos and Abuja respectively this year.
THERE are many times when your child’s behavior warms and embraces your heart. But, there are other times when it probably drives you a little crazy.
As a toddler or preschooler, your child may lack the self-control to express anger peacefully and may naturally lash out, perhaps hitting or biting in frustration.
While occasional outbursts are normal―especially during temper tantrums―there are things you can do to shape your child’s behaviour.
Teach the house rules. Children don’t know the rules of the house until they’re taught them, so that is one of your important parenting responsibilities.
Toddlers are normally interested in touching and exploring, so if there are valuables you don’t want them to handle, hide or remove them.
Consider setting up a separate portion of your home where your child can play with books and toys. Whenever children break an important rule, they should be reprimanded immediately to understand exactly what they have done wrong.
Threats are over-rated. It is always more effective to positively reinforce desired behaviors and to teach children alternative behaviors rather than just say, “Stop it or else.” Tell them that the next time they are angry, they should use their words instead.
Enter healthy distractions. While teaching your child other ways to respond, there’s also nothing wrong with distracting him at times or trying another approach.
As long as you’re not “bribing” him to behave differently by offering sweet snacks. For example, there’s nothing wrong with intentionally changing his focus.
“Control yourself.” Well, they can’t yet. Remember, toddlers have little natural self-control. They need you to teach them not to kick, hit, or bite when they are angry, but instead to express their feelings through words.
“We don’t hurt each other.” Supervise your child carefully when she is involved in disputes with playmates. If a disagreement is minor, keep your distance and let the children solve it on their own.
However, you must intervene when children get into a physical fight that continues even after they’re told to stop, or when one child seems to be in an uncontrollable rage and is assaulting or biting the other.
Pull the children apart and keep them separate until they have calmed down. If the fight is extremely violent, you may have to end the play session. Make it clear that it doesn’t matter who “started it.” There is no excuse for trying to hurt each other.
Instead of fighting. Teach your child to say “no” in a firm tone of voice, to turn his back, or to find compromises instead of fighting with his body.
Through example, you are teaching your child to settle differences with words—more effective and more civilized—than with physical violence.
“Great job!” Praise your child for appropriate behavior and help explain how “grown-up” she is acting whenever she uses these tactics instead of hitting, kicking, or biting. And always reinforce and praise behavior when you catch your child being kind and gentle.
Time-outs are OK. There’s also nothing wrong with using a time-out when your child’s behavior is inappropriate, and they can be used in children as young as one year old. See How to Give a Time-Out for more information.
Control your own temper. Always watch your own behavior around your child. One of the best ways to teach him appropriate behavior is to control your own temper. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, your child probably will follow your example.
Stay strong. If you must discipline your child, do not feel guilty about it and certainly don’t apologize. If your child senses your mixed feelings, he will convince himself that he was in the right all along and you are the “bad” one.
Although disciplining your child is never pleasant, it is a necessary part of parenthood, and there is no reason to feel guilty about it. Your child needs to understand when he is in the wrong, it is important to take responsibility for his actions and be willing to accept the consequences
When to Call the Pediatrician:
If your child seems to be unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks, and you cannot cope with his behavior on your own, consult your pediatrician. Other warning signs include:
Physical injury to himself or others (teeth marks, bruises, head injuries)
Attacks on you or other adults
Being sent home or barred from play by neighbors or school
Your own fear for the safety of those around him
The most important warning sign is the frequency of outbursts. Sometimes children with conduct disorders will go for several days or a week or two without incident and may even act quite charming during this time, but few can go an entire month without getting into trouble at least once.
Once several effective ways are found to reward good behavior and discourage bad, they can be used in establishing an approach that works both at home and away. The progress may be slow, but such programs usually are successful if started when the disorder is just beginning to develop.
Remember:
The best way to prevent aggressive behavior is to give your child a stable, secure home life with firm, loving discipline and full-time supervision during the toddler and preschool years.
Additional Information:
What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?
15 Tips to Survive the Terrible 3’s
Top Tips for Surviving Tantrums
How to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety
How to Shape and Manage Your Young Child’s Behavior
ESTEEMED readers, like my people will say, ‘I greet you all’. I am so sorry for my impromptu absence last week. Hmm, it is a long story, but because of your ceaseless calls and text messages, expressing your concern, I will explain why I just shut down.
It happened on Tuesday, when I went to keep an appointment with the consulate at the American Embassy. I was scheduled to attend a three-day conference at La Vegas in America. I was to attend the event for two reasons; one, as a member of the NGO, Young Business and Professional Women (YBPW) and the second reason was to cover the event as a journalist.
After the interview session with the Consulate, I was denied the visa. I cannot even begin to describe my disappointment, but the most encouraging part of the denial was because the Consulate looked at me like I had no intention of coming back to my dear country.
God knows that if I had gone I wouldn’t have stayed for more than one week; okay two weeks; but at least I would have come back. Anyway, because I am a very emotional person; the denial really upset me; and I decided to protest, by not writing for the week. Reading your sms has made me to return this week. Please, forgive me.
Now, without wasting time, I want to quickly look at guys that have either refused to allow their wives to work or stop them from pursing their professional careers in life.
In an ideal situation, love should not be selfish. Love should be tolerant and accommodating. Some men are cross with ladies who are gainfully employed.
Some men are also not comfortable with ladies who prefer to be pampered and showered with gifts obtained in the western world.
They believe that women are asking too much from men, and that pampering us will be spoiling us. Haba, Mallam! Who is complaining about been spoilt.
Please by all means spoil us o. In fact, we need it. Why is our men so authoritative and domineering in this part of the world. I feel it is wrong.
Fine women are expected to be submissive to their men, I know. But I also know that some decisions men have made in the past are not completely right.
Take, for instance, a man that is making all the millions for his family and suddenly decides that his wife should leave her source of livelihood and instead stay home to look after the kids. If you ask me; I consider this a ‘noble’ gesture on the part of our men; after all, no women wants to work for anybody in the real sense of the word.
The average woman wants to be her own boss. However, as ‘noble’ as the idea is, it boils down to selfishness. Why in the world would a man want his woman to be a full time housewife in this time and age? It is wrong; so criminally wrong.
In the first instance; when a woman belongs to the working class, it helps her to be trendy and be abreast with the happenings around her.
Secondly, she will not be a liability to her man and her kids but she will be an asset and most importantly she will be a virtuous woman. At the risk of sounding rebellious; I feel no woman should leave her job or business except on health grounds; to please her man.
I do not care how much a man earns, a woman must, I insist, earn her own; no matter how small. Let’s consider a general overview of what the holy book expects from the virtuous woman; ‘who can find a virtuous woman for her price is for above rubies; she seeketh wool, and flox, and worketh willingly with her handsl she bringeth her food from afar.
She giveth meat to her house hold. She considered a field and buyeth it, with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard and she maketh fine lines and selleth it, strength and honor are her clothing, she eateth not the bread of idleness. Let her own work praise her in the gates.’
So you see, it will be selfish of any man, no matter how fat his purse is, to ask his woman to be less than she is divinely made for.
What informed this piece was a widowed friend of mine who confided in me that her major regret is not that she lost her husband because death in itself is inevitable, but the fact that she allowed her husband talk her into leaving her job.
Before her husband’s death, she was an officer in one of the new generation banks, then three years into her career, her husband suddenly hit a ‘jackpot’ and ;things couldn’t be rosier’ she recalled with nostalgia.
Then, one day, out of the blues, her husband saw no need for her to continue working. He felt since he could afford to pay her from his purse even thrice the amount she was earning then there was no need. So, in order not to sound disrespectful, she obliged, even though deep down she knew it was not right.
Today, she regrets and curses the day she quit her promising job. Sometimes, I really wonder why a man would come up with such demands. Can any man leave his job even if it is a low-paying one, just because his wife is suddenly earning a bigger pay? The answer is no. no man, will ever do that; I bet.
A couple, I recently heard of; were both working in the same bank but the wife was earning a fatter pay check than her husband. So, when they both decided to get married, the management of the bank instructed that one of the duo will have to leave its employ.
Can you guess what the man did; regardless of the fact that he was earning less? He decided that his wife should put in her resignation letter! Trust us now; of course she obliged! She is now a full time housewife while her first degree and post graduate certificates are neatly tucked beneath her trunk box.
The list, they say, is endless it is my considered opinion that ‘fair is fair’. It is grossly unfair to blackmail women into submission by compelling them to become ‘compulsory liabilities’ depending on their men for everything. Have you considered what could happened to the family when the man loses his job or inevitably his life? God for bid!
