The Nation Newspaper

Category: Weekend Treat

  • What not to do when deciding whether or not to divorce

    There are wrong ways and right ways to go about taking that first step.

    Below are things I believe no one should do when trying to decide if divorce is right for them.

    Don’t give up on your marriage until you’ve done everything in your power to solve the problems in your marriage. Solving problems means letting your spouse know that the problems in the marriage have become so stressful that you are considering divorce. Nine times out of ten you both play a role in the problems in your marriage. It is only fair that you both have the opportunity to work toward solutions to the problems together or with a marriage counselor.

    Don’t become involved with another man or woman due to the unhappiness in your marriage. New relationships are for after you are divorced. Introducing a third party into an already bad situation only makes the situation worse. If you have an affair out of fear of being alone once you separate then you need to deal with your fear of being alone instead attaching yourself to someone new just to keep from having to face your fear.

    Don’t allow anger or an argument to drive you to the point of filing for a divorce. The decision to divorce should be made when you are level headed and free of emotions. This is especially true if you have children. For the children’s sake it is important that whoever decides to leave the marriage is able to do so in a civil and respectful manner.

    Don’t leave an unhappy marriage, one in which you are treated respectfully if you do not have the ability to take care of yourself financially. Alimony is not guaranteed these days and even if it were, child support and alimony will not provide a sufficient lifestyle for you and your children should you divorce. Think about building a career of your own before thinking about divorce.

    Choose wisely who you share your wish to divorce with. Find a trusted confidant or therapist but don’t talk about your unhappiness with anyone willing to listen. Should you decide not to divorce you will then be known in your social circle as the person who is unhappy in their marriage. And, you will have a lot of explaining to do.

    I don’t have to tell you how painful the decision to divorce can be. If you are reading this article, you are fully aware. You need to know that your decision will have a lasting impact on yourself, your spouse and your children for years to come. Take your time, use a level head and take into consideration not only what divorce will mean for you but, for all involved in your decision.

     

  • Should men stop impressing us some months into courtship?

    I RECALL with nostalgia the extra effort my man put in, just to get my attention during the period he was wooing me. I also recall with nostalgia, the flowers and cards he sent me. Oh, and the text messages? Those were countless. It poured in until my phone will say no space for new messages’ I would delete and delete his ceaseless messages. He would call me up like fifteen times a day, to say ‘sweet nothing’ to me.

    I must not forget to mention how he would call up , friends to let them know how much he loved me.

    Hmm, those were the days. Most interesting part of that stage was when he called and I was not picking; he would simply lose it. As in, he would worry himself sick, wondering if something bad had happened to me or the phone. And if I didn’t return his calls? His heart, he claimed ‘is completely shattered’.

    Those were the days he would recharge my friends’ phones just to worm his way into their hearts. And, oh, I must not forget to mention that at that time, my friends who were beneficiaries of his generosity would call me up no matter how late to say; oh girl’ that guy send you dies!’ ‘the guy day kolo for you’ ‘Omo girl consider yourself a lucky girl’ ‘Guy like yours are rare’. The calls were endless.

    At that time, I really glowed you know? I was on top of the world. I felt loved and adored. It is not really that I feel less loved now; it is just that those days are fast gone. About eight months into our courtship, the fifteen calls per day, dropped to teen calls, and then to five and then to two to three calls and now sometimes to ‘Network is bad’ ‘Baby, I really tried to reach you, but your line was not going through. Or worse still, he was too busy he forgot to call! Haba. Mallam! Is this fair? Why are men like this? Or is there something the guys know that the ladies don’t know? Are there rules saying choke her when you first meet her and then relax when you have won her over?.

    It beats me. I have observed however that it is not really that the man has stopped loving the lady concerned; it is just that the initial passion level (if you like) has dramatically dropped. I also put it to you, readers; that all men are like that. A friend of mine’s man almost lost his leg in an accident in an attempt to attend her graduation ceremony just to prove his love for her. Regardless of his very busy schedule, he drove all the way to Edo State without his driver.

    Of course, that singular act on his part melted my friend’s heart and she fell for him, hook, line and sinker. But guess what, four months into their courtship, her bobo, suddenly became too busy, even to attend little functions became a problem and his usually ceaseless calls to her became a huge issue. Naturally, my friend became troubled, she thought her guy, had fallen out of love with her. When she told me of her worries, I laughed uncontrollably and welcomed her to the club.

    I said to her: “My sister, he does not love you less, he just feels comfortable that he has won you. So the act of impressing you is over, but with my experience, he is still in love with you. Another friend told me how she spent thousand naira on her hair-do just to impress and get her man’s attention, you know what happened? He did not even notice! This killed her morale and when she tried to bring it up; his sms to her was more discouraging, he sent her a text message saying: ‘Baby you know I am a busy man’ and even though I am madly in love with you; I still need to put food on our table’ with an agitated breadth my friend read and re-read the sms sent to her by her heartthrob. She called me soon after to express her concern. After I calmly listened to her, I tried my best to cajole and reassure her that her man is probably getting comfortable. Before, he had to impress her to make her want him and try to convince her that he is the guy that is worth her while and now that the trophy is won, there is little need’.

    Is it right to treat us this way? We are designed to be wooed, pampered and loved. You will agree with me that we are the weaker sex; you are not in any way spoiling us, if that is why you are relaxing in your efforts to impress us. Truth is, little efforts go a long way with us, it may not be flowers but is might be something as simple as bringing us a drink when you come back from the kitchen (without needing to be asked to), may be putting our towel in the dryer while we are in the shower. Pulling up chairs for us to sit. Holding doors open for us to enter before you. Helping out with little house chores here and there rather than leaving us to do them alone.

    Go ahead, impress us, even twenty years into the union. Remember our birthdays, Valentine Days and most importantly our anniversaries. Who says you can’t mark one-month anniversary. It is as important as 20th anniversary. Call us as often as possibly or if you feel ceaseless calls are far too expensive to continue with, do send us text messages, they melt our hearts. Clothes, choice of earrings, it really works. Tell us how beautiful we are (this is the joker. I tell you). Every woman loves to be told she is beautiful. An no disrespect to the men, but the truth is if you spend time to appreciate a lady, you will get the best from her, but if you don’t, your guess is as good as mine.

  • 10 important tips for dating in your 30s

    By Praise Olowe

     

    Dating in your 30s can feel very different from dating in your 20s. This is because as you’re older, you’re naturally carrying around a lot more baggage and of course there is also more pressure on every side.

    However, with these tips in mind, dating in your 30s would be made super easy and interesting.

    Understand that age is just a number

    It is important for you to know that age is just a number and it only matters when you make it matter.

    You need to stop looking at age as a “barrier”. Do not be pressured to settle for what’s not because of your age. There is nothing wrong with dating in your 30s since it is preparing you for forever.

    Know exactly what you want

    If you’ve never really thought about what you want in a partner, then now is the time to figure it out so you can find the right fit. Write down the names of the last few people you dated. Next to each name, list the top five things you liked about them and the top five things you didn’t like about them. You’ll probably notice that there are common descriptors on the list. The top qualities that you liked about these people are what you should look for in your next relationship.

    Let go of the past and focus on the future

    Nearly everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with some form of heartbreak. Now is the time to leave the past in the past. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past, not your present or future. Instead of dwelling on your past, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next.

    Let your guard down

    When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defence mechanism is to put your guard up. If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right? However, if you don’t let anyone in, you probably won’t end up finding the one. When the time is right and you’ve met someone you’re into who is also into you, let your guard down and tell yourself everything will be okay.

    Focus on having Fun

    When you’re in your 30s, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about the things you don’t have yet. You haven’t met the one, you’re not married, you don’t live in a beautiful house, and you don’t have kids. Wanting all of these things is okay, but grilling every person you date to see if they have what it takes to fulfil your expectations is not. Focus on having fun and getting to know the person. What’s the point of being in a relationship at any age if you’re not having fun? It shouldn’t be a job and it shouldn’t be depressing. A relationship should bring joy, laughter, and love whether you are 18 or 45.

    Read Also: ‘My husband takes care of his mother than our kids’

    Communication is Key

    Good communication is crucial to any relationship. When you are dating in your 30s, you should be able to talk to your significant other openly and honestly. Likewise, they should be able to talk to you candidly. Got into your first fight? Talk it out maturely

    Don’t waste your time

    Don’t waste your time. If you’re not into someone, stop talking to them, stop texting them, and stop hanging out with them. Life is too short. Wouldn’t you much rather get a good night of sleep than be out drinking empty calories with a person you’re just not that into?

    Trust your gut

    If you have a gut instinct about someone, trust it. Listen to your intuition. If something is telling you that they’re not right, then they’re probably not.

    Do you and be you

    Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. The real you will always come through eventually, so be yourself from the beginning. Own who you are. Nothing is more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Don’t settle, but stop seeking perfection.

     

    Realize that waiting for the right person is more important than being pressured to settle for the wrong one

    Because you are in your 30s and everyone wants you to find a partner, it’s easy to make stupid mistakes. Be focused on finding what you want, what is best for your future.

  • How to gain an unfair advantage over a rival … and win over the one you love

    Are you being kept up late at night worried sick that you would never be able to find or keep your true love because of a rival? Suspecting your date, lover or your spouse having an extramarital relationship? Here’s what you could do so you could win back the one you love and keep them!

    (1) Show your partner you respect their choices more than anyone else.

    Do not do anything or say anything which forces your partner to do things or see things your way! If they have to make their choice whether they want you or the other person, give them no excuses to leave you for somebody else, show them your respect!

    No one likes to live under the control of another person. Your partner will more likely choose you if you can show him or her that you are willing to give them the freedom to make their own choices and respect his / her wishes.

    (2) Do not try to compete

    Do not try to compete with your rival, if you have one around. When you are competing, you are struggling, and when you are struggling, you create a lot of negative energy around you, leading to unpleasant experiences with the people who just happen to be with you. Instead, try to create opportunities that lead to positive experiences, especially with your partner around.

    Let your partner feel that they can feel more at ease when he or she is together with you. Let your partner feel more comfortable being with you than with somebody else.

    (3) Avoid discussing issues relating to your rivals.

    Whenever you are with your spouse or lover do not keep asking or questioning them on issues relating related to your rival (Examples: “Where did you go yesterday?” “What did you give her…”, “Why does he / she do this…”, you get what I mean).

    Asking such questions would only put his defense system on autopilot and his / her replies to you might not be truthful too. Most often than not, such discussions lead to unpleasant experiences with your partner, both of you might even fight or quarrel over an insignificant issue and further ruin your relationship.

    So give your partner freedom of choice. Let them do whatever they want and like, and you will find that they will appreciate your understanding. If your partner finds that he/she can breathe easier when being with you than with the other person, they will come back to you, with no effort on your part!

    (4) Stop clinging to your spouse or lover like sticky glue

    Recall the type of person you once were when you first started seeing and dating your lover or your spouse. That ‘person’ you once were is the person whom your lover or spouse once loved deeply.

    Be that ‘person’. When you were that ‘person’, you were someone who did not cling to your partner like a parasite. You were independent, carefree, and full of zest for life! This is the real ‘you’ whom your partner love and like to be with.

    So drop all those attachment. Practice detachment instead. If your relationship is failing, other people will tell you ‘Your partner has changed.’, or ‘People change. This is life.’ Instead, pause for a moment and ask yourself “Has my partner really change? Or is it I who have changed?” Have you changed to someone who has become too demanding in your relationship? Your partner love you for who you are. So ‘be’ that independent person you once were!

    Keep the above tips in mind, and you can be sure that you will the heart of the one you love without any effort on your part!

  • How to talk to your two to five-year-old children about sex

    A lot of times, parents are afraid of the word “SEX”, in some cases it creates great discomfort and proves difficult especially if there is no closeness between parent/guardian and child. Talking to your child about sex doesn’t have to be difficult (or embarrassing). It is important to have the conversation early and occasionally. You can be rest assured that your home will become a safe and comfortable environment for your child to ask questions, also the peace of mind knowing that child has the ability to determine right and wrong.

    Your child needs to hear accurate information about sex from you and not from “outsiders”. This includes the basics (vaginal, oral, and anal sex), birth control, sexual assault, sexual molestation, and your family’s moral beliefs. Your child needs to know that he or she can talk with you about sex. They can talk with you about their changing bodies, their feelings, their concerns, and their confusion.

    You don’t have to know all of the answers to their questions. However, you should be willing as a parent to help them find those answers, it is not something you should keep shifting or delegate to some other person.  Help them do the research when you don’t know the answers. You need to be approachable. You need to make them comfortable talking with you about sex.

    Don’t wait until your child asks you about sex before you find the right words. Plan ahead at every age and stage. Be prepared to discuss all kinds of sexual activity, as well as same sex relationships and most importantly once they hit two years old and start understanding words, start discussions on names of body parts, 90 percent of children of today learn about sex from Visuals.

    A major focus for this particular age group we are discussing about is learning about boundaries and what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to touching—or being touched—by other people even parents.  They need to understand the concept of CONSENT.

    It is crucial that even young children learn to ask before they touch someone else. Lessons around sharing, touch-based games like tickling, and asserting your own boundaries, such as telling a child when it is and isn’t OK to climb onto your lap, all help to create a more intuitive understanding of consent. Lots of children who are comfortable with climbing on the laps of their parents need to understand that this should not be applicable or acceptable.

    Read Also: Sex education key to ending sex abuse among children – Mothers

    Establishing that kids have a say over their own bodies also helps with keeping them safe. While you can skip the explicit details because they may not understand every detail based on lack of vocabulary, you can use the opportunity to tell your child that others should never ask to or try to touch their genitals. It is very important to convey to your children about inappropriate actions at any time, even if they’ve previously kept it a secret, they need to Tell you, which also means they need to trust you and except you to take necessary action appropriately

    At this age, children can be very curious about each other’s bodies. As a parent you need to acknowledge this inquisitiveness and not shout at them or discourage them from it, if they do not get the answers from you, they will get it elsewhere, parents should use it as an entry point to discuss family’s rules and values.

    Talk to them explicitly about when it’s appropriate to be naked, and if you do catch your kids playing “doctor or “mummy and daddy”, don’t faint or scream as is the first reaction of most parents. Instead, discuss how it’s not appropriate to handle other people’s genitals, as these are very special parts of the body that shouldn’t be touched by others. At this age, your child might begin asking how babies are made. These questions are inevitable!! The easiest way out is, knowing the amount of detail you can go into really depending on how much you think your child can comprehend or understand. If your child wants more information, you might try something like, two grown-ups get their bodies together and share the sperm and the egg to make a child like you, or sometimes they get the sperm or egg from someone else.

    It is totally ok to tell your child that some details, like how sperm and egg meet, will be discussed later, you may not be able to give all details at once, please do not lie.  Ensure to follow up with those questions and not just refuse to talk about certain things. As a parent/guardian you can tell you children about their own birth story, which lets you tailor the details to your family’s specific situation. Just be sure to note that your child’s birth story is just one of many ways that families are made.

    It’s important to introduce kids of this age group to the idea that families and relationships can be built in various ways. If your kids are part of or are regularly around non-traditional families, they’ll naturally pick up on this. But if they aren’t, make sure that you have a few good books that aren’t just on nuclear, heterosexual families, because it is important to note that your children will be exposed to many other ideas on what “family” is meant to be and may be confused.

    You don’t have to fit everything into one conversation, take it slowly. Listen carefully even if you may not agree with their opinion, exposure to social media at very young age, movies, cartoons and all sorts make them form opinions quite early these days.

    Take the time, no matter how busy you may be to have the courage to educate your child about sex and sexuality. Be the one who shapes your child’s sexual development and do not leave it to others to do for you, it is your responsibility.

  • 10 practical ways to teach your children right values (5)

    CONSIDER putting computers only in areas of your home where the whole family congregates together. “You don’t want your kids surfing the Web on a computer in their bedroom where you can’t see what they’re looking at,” Dr. Hill warns. If your children do have computers in their bedrooms, install parental controls so that they’re not going to sites you don’t want them to see.

    Televisions, too, should be placed only in areas in your home where the family is together—not in kids’ bedrooms.

    Barb of Lake Villa, Illinois, has just one television for her family of five, and that’s in her den. “When we watch TV, we all watch it together, and we make sure it’s a show that’s not promoting bad values,” she says. “If my husband or I see something on TV we don’t like, we bring it up with our kids right then and there, while we’re watching the show.”

    “Co-viewing,” as this is often referred to, can be a very effective way to filter what kind of ideas are coming into your home and to be aware of what values your kids are being exposed to. If something questionable comes up on a program, don’t be shy about offering your comments during the show or even turning the show off if necessary.

    Read Also: 10 practical ways to teach your children right values (4)

    After you’ve watched a television show, talk to your children about what you just saw. Were there any moral lessons to be gleaned? What kind of character qualities or weaknesses did these people have? Did the characters’ actions reflect good values?

    1. Applaud good behavior

    When you observe your children doing something good, let them know you are pleased with their actions.

    Thank your children when they clean their rooms without being asked or they do their homework without grumbling. Acknowledge what a good job they did when they finished a seemingly grueling school assignment. If you walk into the living room and notice your children playing nicely together, tell them how wonderful it makes you feel to see them getting along so well.

    “Sincere praise goes a long way in reinforcing behaviors you’d like to see more of,” Dr. Hill says. Point out specific actions your children did that were good, so they know exactly what behaviors they should keep doing. “It was nice to see you smiling and talking so politely with Mrs. McDonald at church,” communicates more to your son about what he did right than simply saying, “You were a good boy at church today.”

    Communication is the key

    The bottom line is that you need to communicate with your children. Talk about what they did right, what they did wrong, how to make better moral decisions, what character traits God wants to see in us, and why you’ve made certain choices in your own life. Granted, it takes time to have these kinds of conversations, but you’ll find the results worth the investment.

    Read Also: 10 practical ways to teach your children right values (3)

    “Don’t let yourself get so busy that you stop having ‘real’ conversations with your kids,” urges Dr. Hill. It sounds cliché, but children do grow up very fast. Depending on their age, you may have them living in your home for just five or 10 more years. “You need to use the time you have with your kids very wisely,” concludes Dr. Hill. “Make sure you build time into your schedule for consistent, quality, face time with your kids—while they’re still kids.”

    • Source:www.ucg.org
    • Concluded

  • Are you in love with a married man?

    MRS. Effedua (not her real name) suspected her husband was having an affair with a particular lady. Her story: My husband was close to a particular tall, fair complexioned, pretty lady at the earlier part of our marriage. He swore they were not having an affair and I really wanted so much to believe him.

    His ‘closeness’ to this lady almost wrecked our home. Problem was that this lady, (then) was everything I was not. She was fair, I was dark, she was tall, I was short, she had plenty of money to play around with, I was just a hustler. I realised that the thought of her near my man, drove me nuts. The worst happened when they both had an admission to run a master’s degree programme.

    They had to go to school together, she would call him at odd times and no matter how busy he was, she would attend to her. Before I knew it she had moved into our neighbourhood. When he got home from work and parks his car, before he will come up stairs to our flat, he would first of all, check on her. It was a nightmare, I tell you. Yes, he would tell me they needed to compare notes and so on.

    Of course, I did not believe him. I mean, why should I? When the first time her mother visited Lagos, she ran to press our door bell, to let him know of her mother’s visit. What for? I asked hm. Without so much as an excuse, he dashed out of house to welcome her mum. (Talk about in-law). Counsel here and there from friends of mine, made me resort to violence I would scream, break things at home. Instead of getting better, he responded by violence too. He would beat me up and scream at the top of his voice that nothing could or would ever separate him from Fidelia (not real name).

    Read Also: Would you date or marry an older woman?

    In a desperate bid to save my marriage, I cornered the lady on her way back from work one cool evening. (My husband was not back from work). I tried to let her know that her closeness to my husband was causing hell in my home. Her response shocked me to my bones.

    After listening to me calmly for a few minutes she said ‘Madam, l love your husband like the brother, I never had. He means a lot to me. He has being telling me of the trouble you have being causing to separate us, but I tell you, it will not work. We love each other like a brother and sister’. After saying her piece, she walked away, without waiting for me to even catch my breadth.

    Because of the fake love they claimed to have for each other, my home was on fire for two solid years. Every other day, neighbours, friends, relatives will come to our home to settle our differences. Our kids were just confused as they were too young to understand why daddy and mummy were always at each other throat. How one can claim to love a married man for whatever reason? Can’t she look for a single man to love? Thankfully, today, we are back together again (I say back together because at one point, he even packed his things and left the house. I will spare you the details).

    He has started loving me again and the best part of the whole story is that she is married! In fact, on the day of her wedding my head gear was the loudest. I am sure you can imagine my joy. My prayer for her is that no woman should cause her the kind of heartache and pain she caused me and my children, all in the name of love.

    Mrs Galady’s Ibe

    Unfortunately, I did fall in love with a married man once. He was so generous and loving that it was difficult for me to remember his marital status. He promised to leave his wife and marry me and I prayed and waited to see that day.

    Seriously, I was crazy about him. Hey!  What’s not to love? He was so romantic, good looking, very rich. My parents and younger ones simply adored him. He relocated parents to a three bedroom apartment from a face me I face you house. He sponsored my younger ones through school; he got me a good job with a bank.

    He spoilt my friend’s silly, a year before we ended our affair, he brought me a mini-jeep. I really loved this man. The only worry was that I observed he was reluctant to leave his wife. He kept promising me. This month, he would say the next until our affair ran into months and then years.

    The more I asked him when he was coming to ask for my hand in marriage, the more things he brought for me. He once took for a shopping spree in Dubai. (The experience was heavenly). Well, like the saying goes ‘nothing good lasts forever’ it finally dawned on me that I was in love with the wrong guy. This happened on my 35th birthday. As usual, he bought me a gift I could not refuse, a landed property in my name of course I took it.

    After we had made wild, passionate love, I asked him again about his marriage plans for me. After taking a deep breath, he said he could not leave his wife because she was nursing a three-month old baby! I almost died of a heart attack. In fact I was on admission in a hospital for more than a week.

    If I had to relive my life again, I would never fall in love with a married man ever again. They promise you things that are impossible. They use you and then dump you. They make love to you and they still sleep with their wives at home. I really learnt the hard way. I live with his lies and empty promises for years. Now I know better. No married man in his right frame of mind would leave his wife for any lady outside, no matter how pretty or how good in bed she is.

    Mrs Phil Odogwu

    My husband had an affair two years ago. I think all of your readers who are interested in married men should know a few things before they pursue these men. Married men do not tell their wives they are having an affair they might not even admit to themselves that they are.They are still having sex with their wives even if they are telling you that they aren’t.

    They are still telling their wives that they love them, probably because they do. They have no intention of leaving their wives and family, they just like the extra attention that they are getting from these other women. They may feel bad about themselves for one reason or the other and they need an ego boost that these women are giving them. In their heart, they know who and what they really are, but it’s nice to have someone telling them what a great guy they are anyways.

    When the affair is all over, they tell their wives that it didn’t mean anything and that they had no feeling towards this other woman, they may even blame her for the whole affair. There is nothing good that can come from dating or spending time with a married man.

    Any moment of pleasure you may have with a married man could not possibly be worth the damage you are doing to yourself and a wife & family somewhere. Instead of having an affair with them, do everyone a favour and recommend that they go home to their wives. Encourage them to go for counselling and work on saving their marriage and saving everyone unnecessary pain and heartache.

    Send all married men home to their wives and kids where they belong and go out and find  nice single men.

  • BEHOLD FAMOUS SHOWBIZ FAMILIES

    THERE is no hiding place for the golden fish is a saying that applies not only to golden fishes but to the children of the rich and famous. Most celebrity children grow up in the limelight under the watchful eyes of the public and through photos and videos that their famous parents share on social media. But some famous children are popular in their own right. Some of them are now as popular, if not more popular than their famous parents. Entertainment is the biggest sector where most of these famous showbiz families can be found.

    Some of these families from generations to generations act in the biggest movies, walk the red carpet at topnotch award ceremonies and have a huge following. It appears that these famous showbiz families have passed the fame gene on from one generation to the next. Some of famous showbiz families include ‘Ade Love’ ( Adeyemi  Afolayan’s) children-Kunle, Gabriel,  Moji  and Aremu;  the  Edochies; the  Kosokos; the Salamis (Oga Bello); the Amatas; Art Alades; the Ejiwunmis; the Olaiyas; Justus Esiris and the Otedolas.

    Read Also: Double CAPS: Showbiz stars who are into other ventures

    So, take this journey with us and let us meet the kids who got the family torches and ran with them.

    The Amatas

    The late John Amata, father of showbiz stars: Fred, Zack, Ruke and Mena, was a famous Nigerian filmmaker.  The family is like a movie factory, which has produced some of the country’s biggest producers, actors and directors.  And the siblings have kept the family’s flag flying.

    The Otedolas

    The former governor of Lagos State, the late Sir Micheal Otedola, was the father of popular businessman, philanthropist and immediate past chairman of Forte Oil, Femi Otedola. In his lifetime, Pa Otedola was a conservative publicity-shy Catholic. But his son, Femi and grandchildren now hug the limelight in a classy, non-fussy way. They include Olawunmi Christy, Temi Odetola, a fashion blogger and social media personality, who is in a relationship with popular singer and entrepreneur Mr. Eazi; and showbiz DJ and singer, DJ Cuppy who is not just popular on the music scene but commands a large following on social media.

    The Art Alades

    One of Nigeria’s showbiz impresarios, legendary Nigerian MC and Nigerian jazz music pioneer, Art Alade, was the father of multi-talented artiste, Dare Art Alade, popularly known as Darey.  Art Alade was a Nigerian television personality and producer, who was the host of The Bar Beach Show, a weekly variety show on NBC-TV that aired during the 1970s. Darey, a successful musician in his own right, has kept the flag flying.

    The Afolayans

    Kunle, Gabriel, Aremu and Moji Afolayan are the children of the late cinema icon, Adeyemi Afolayan, popular known as Ade Love, who dominated the big screen in the 70s and 80s.  His children are stars in the movie industry. The highly talented and sought-after four have made the world theirs just as their dad did.

    The Falanas

    For many years, the Falana name was synonymous with human rights activism and the law. Enter Falz. The multitalented artist is the son of renowned human rights activist parents, Funmi and Femi Falana (SAN). Falz’s rise to stardom is quite remarkable because he is not from a family with deep roots in entertainment. But the artiste, one of the industry’s hardest workers, is now a dominant face in music, movies and the arts. In several ways, his music, which draws attention to the problems in the society, has been an extension of his father’s and mother’s human rights ‘ministry’.

    The Edochies

    Veteran actor and the dominant face in several epic movies, Pete Edochie, is the father of Linc and Yul. The elder Edochie became famous for his spectacular performance as Okwonkwo, the protagonist of Chinua Achebe’s “Things Fall Apart”, which has been adjudged many times as one of Africa’s greatest novels. Linc Edochie, the elder brother of Yul, is a multiple talent- filmmaker, movie producer, actor and supervisor. While the younger brother, Yul, has starred in many hit movies.

    Adebayo Salami’s (Oga Bello’s) children,

    Femi and Tope, followed in their father’s, veteran actor’s footsteps. They are both A-list actors. Oga Bello, as their father is fondly called by many of his admirers, is one of Nigeria’s most successful and accomplished actors.

    The Esiris

    Justus Esiri had more than 100 TV and film credits before he passed on in 2013. His son, Sidney Onoriode, widely known as Dr. Sid, a singer, songwriter and dentist, is making his mark in the music industry. Dr. Sid has been nominated for and has won several awards; just like his father did years before.

    The Dairos

    Viewers got to know notable Nigerian Jùjú musician Isaiah Kehinde Dairo’s son, Paul IK Dairo, after the former’s death

    The Aluwes

    Notable comedian, Sunday Omobolanle, popularly known as Papi Luwe, his wife, Peju Ogunmola, and son, Sunkanmi Omobolanle, also make one of the famous families in showbiz.

    The Peters

    Juju superstar, Sir Shina Peters, and screen goddess, Clarion Chukwura, are the parents of ace music video director, filmmaker and cinematographer, Clarence Peters.

    The Kosokos

    Sola and Bidemi are the daughters of superstar actor, Prince Jide Kosoko. Sola is an actress and director. Bidemi is an actress. Both of them are stars in their own right.

    The Rays

    Muka, Murphy, Lasun and Mama Ray are the children and spouse of Eyinwunmi Ray, who was a great pioneer of the Yoruba theatre industry before moving to home video. And they are doing very well.

  • ‘I love my husband beating me, I enjoy seeing him angry’

    ‘’Some of you might think I am mental, but I am very normal. Bom I love my husband beating me, I enjoy seeing him angry. Don’t call me crazy it is just my person .

    “He used to beat the living daylight out of me and sometimes I bleed but I still survive it . We have lived like that for 2 years and he has killed 3 of my unborn kids out

    “of that but I don’t mind, God will give us more. But now he has repented and found Christ according to him and he has become too calm. He does not shout or raise

    “his hand on me again and the marriage is now full. So I met this tanker driver that use to beat me and give me money, I love the guy so much because he is too strong. Bom I am pregnant and I don’t know if should keep it because my husband has not touched me since he found Jesus.’’

    What is your advice for this young lady?

    BOM

  • All you need to know about dreadlocks

    DREADLOCKS are very much African. It is one of the natural and, maybe not so natural, hairstyles that only Africans and a few other races can solidly lay claim to.

    Whether grown naturally or with a bit of help, dreadlocks always add something special to their wearers and make their heads stand out in a crowd.

    For many years in Nigeria, dreadlocks were mostly associated with Reggae stars and Rastafarians. But some of the biggest promoters were also found outside the music scene. For example, the late Nigerian internationally footballer, Samuel Okwaraji, who died during a football match between Nigeria and Angola, in 1989, was one of the most famous dreadlock-wearing Nigerians.

    Nowadays, dreadlocks are the rave. Also known as faux locs, the style has become incredibly popular in today’s society with men and women of all ages and races sporting it. Whether you want to add sass to a short do or are striving for that Rapunzel look, dreadlocks have become a symbol of beauty and status. However, it’s important to understand that dreadlocks care takes time and money and they are not cheap to properly maintain.

    Read Also: Reality star Alex Unusual makes Nollywood debut in ‘Merry Men 2’

    It’s the big hair fashion statement this season and it’s everywhere and vibrant in different hues! This hair style has become so popular that it has enticed many A-list stars –Activists, artistes, footballers, actresses, actors, comedians, OAPs, even some academicians, to mention but a few.

    Faux locs are a great way to add fun an extra touch to the hairstyle, and you can make your hair be more eye-catching by packing your locs in a special way. Dreadlocks hairstyle can be styled for any formal event as it is fresh and appealing. Below are some of our favourite dreadlocks celebs who caught the faux locs bug and are looking fabulous with it: Ekiti State First Lady Erelu Bisi Fayemi; Burnaboy, Ahmed Musa, Clarence Peters, Victor Moses, Ycee, Nse Ikpe Etim, Folu Storms, Obafemi Martins, Mikel Obi, Uti Nwachukwu,Flavour, Asa, Ehiz, Basket Mouth, Reekado Banks to Weird MC and Wande Coal.