The Nation Newspaper

Category: Weekend Treat

  • How to know you are in a toxic relationship

    WE recently surveyed more than 100 experts and discovered that 89 per cent of them felt that half (or more!) of all people are in toxic relationships. So we asked them, “What are the most common, telltale signs of a toxic relationship?” What sort of toxic relationship symptoms should we be on the lookout for?

    Topping their list of responses was “You spend more time fighting than enjoying each other,”

    but that’s not the only sign of a toxic relationship. Here are nine more warning phrases and relationship red flags to watch for.

    1. He seems hostile all the time.

    Is he/she angry a lot of the time? If you feel you’re living with a lot of tension, feeling stressed and not able to express yourself the way you want, your relationship isn’t healthy for you. You want to feel the safety and security to express your authentic self

    1. He puts you down.

    Does your significant other criticize or demean you? Are you on edge most of the time because you feel that you can’t please your partner or do anything right? Does he/she make fun of you or criticize you in public, in front of friends or family? Does he/she act superior towards you or mock you? These are all warning signs of an unhappy, dysfunctional relationship.

    1. He purposely avoids you.

    Does it seem he doesn’t want to be around you? Maybe he/she gives double messages that make you feel confused (e.g. saying, “Of course, I love you” while not behaving in a loving manner). When he doesn’t want to be physically affectionate, you end up feeling rejected. Meanwhile, he complains that you are too needy.

    1. He refuses to change or talk about problems.

    Is your partner open to being influenced by you? Is he/she self-reflective? When you express how you feel and ask for what you want, does he/she listen and make an effort to meet your needs?

    If he/she refuses to acknowledge that your feelings and needs are important, and refuses to go to counselling, you may be stuck in a toxic relationship. Then you need to ask yourself, “What do I need to do for myself to be happy and satisfied with my life?”

    1. He fights dirty.

    Name-calling is a definite sign of toxicity in a relationship. Attempting to hurt someone with words isn’t the way to resolve conflict or communicate hurt feelings. Problems usually escalate quickly when name-calling is present, and it makes it especially difficult to create intimacy and connection in the relationship.

    1. You don’t act like yourself.

    Do you change your likes, dislikes or opinions when you’re with your partner? Feeling like you can’t be yourself and adjusting to please for fear of retaliation can be a sign of a toxic relationship. It’s important to be able to express yourself honestly in your relationship for authentic love to grow. —Keri Nola.

    1. He acts like an over-involved parent.

    I’m not talking about the kind who drives you to your violin recital; I’m talking about the kind who decides your career, what school you go to and who you hang out with.

    When your guy acts like an over-involved parent, he chooses which friends stay, which ones go and what kind of clothes you should wear. You’ve learned from past experiences that your thoughts and opinions don’t matter to him, and if you express them you will regret it later on

    1. He’s the king of guilt trips.

    He has a certain knack for making you feel guilty and indebted to him. You feel obligated to give in to whatever he wants, especially when he reminds you of that thoughtful gesture he’s done for you lately. When every gesture comes with strings attached, it might be time to cut the cord.

     

    1. You hide your relationship from friends and family.

    Your family and friends don’t like the way he treats you. Since they are more likely to give unsolicited relationship advice, you’re afraid that what they have to say may be the truth. So you tend to avoid talking about him, bringing him around, or involving him in any way with your friends and family.

     

    Source: www.yourtango.com

  • When a man bites a dog…

    HAPPY weekend, dear reader. I should have done this last week, but like they say, it is better late than never. Permit me to express how elated I am to introduce this column. Feminique will be an interactive platform on which we can talk about everything that borders on relationship.

    Of course, some of your reactions or contributions could subsequently be published, so we are assured of being on the same page. I encourage us all to seat back and fasten our seatbelts as we go on this ride.

    There’s a song that says “the heart is not so smart; it goes to where it should not.”

    Mr and Mrs Benson were a regular couple who were happily married until ‘life’ happened to their marriage. After their union, they lived under the same roof for 15 years without sex. To the outside world, they appeared happy, but it was nothing but a façade.

    A reverend father at some point decided to wade in after efforts by family and friends had yielded no result. Mr Benson, after 15 years, decided to open up to the priest.

    His narration: “I met and married my wife at the age of 18. I did not believe in love until I met my wife. I thought it was same for her because, just like me, she could not wait to get married to me despite our 14 years age difference.

    “I gave her the wedding of a lifetime. She was my world. She was my everything. Not at all feeling insecure about her age, I ensured she got admitted into a university; a decision I still regret till date.

    As soon as my wife gained admission, she lost it, literally speaking. Stories of her escapades with fellow students were getting to me almost on a weekly basis. As the older and wiser partner, I chose to forgive and overlook.

    After her graduation, I thought it would be better between us, especially when she became pregnant with our first and only child. But she continued with her promiscuous lifestyle one year after we had Ada. She kept denying these allegations, but deep down, I knew she was cheating on me… I just knew it.

    Fast forward to 15 years earlier. A married family friend of ours, had accommodation challenge and as a couple, we offered to help. It is another decision I will regret till my dying days. My friend came to me one fateful morning. This was two years after he had stayed with me for free.

    He said he had a confession to make; that as a fellow Catholic, he had gone to confess to a Priest about his sins and, as his penance (restitution if you like), the Priest had told him that the only way he could be forgiven was to confess his sins to me. At this point, I was looking for the nearest chair to sit on as my friend sounded very serious.

    He confessed to me that in the past two years that he and his wife had been staying in my house, he had been sleeping with my wife! At this point, I was just speechless. I was devoid of emotions.

    Naturally, my friend did not wait for my response. He had earlier packed his belongings and left my house together with his wife, leaving me with a broken heart. That was the day I vowed never to touch or sleep with my wife. She is heartless.

    On her part, she has cried and begged and sworn never to hurt me again. But for me, this was one hurt too many. As a Catholic, I will not divorce her unless she initiates it.

    After they both attended a couples retreat, counselling sessions et al, they have both decided to give their marriage a second chance!

    My thoughts …in this part of the world, women are designed to forgive their men, countless times. As a matter of fact when a man cheats on his woman, its no news. Just like “when a dog bites a man it’s no news, but when a man bites a dog.. it becomes a story. I think this couple will be fine…what do you think?

  • Seven things guys do when they still love their exes

    Seven things guys do when they still love their exes. If you’re inclined to think your boyfriend might not be completely over with his ex-girlfriend, there are probably several reasons for your suspicion.

    Maybe you’ve found him weeping while looking at his phone, mumbling, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Maybe he’s calling out her name in the middle of the night, or, even worse, has mistakenly called you her name. Maybe he still has one of the shirts she left at his place and you’ve caught him sniffing it.

    More likely though, it isn’t a completely egregious and blatant relationship violation, but something subtler that indicates he’s not quite emotionally ready to be dating at the moment.

    “If your new boyfriend is constantly talking about his ex, spending time on the phone with her, meeting up with her (without including you), comparing you in a way that makes you feel less than her, these all point to the possibility of him still being connected to her in some way,” says Jane Greer, PhD, sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.

    In other words, if your boyfriend is doing any (or all) of the below, there’s a chance he might still be holding a candle for his ex-flame.

    It’s not exactly fair to expect him to completely shut his ex out of his life—unless she’s very clearly still warm for his form—because that’s not cool. But if they’re talking all the time it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he still has feelings for her. “Either he feels guilty that he left her, or he isn’t over her,” says Greer. “He’s still remaining overly involved. If this is the case, talk to him about whether he’s really ready to be in a new relationship with you.”

    Sure, maybe they salvaged a platonic relationship—or maybe he’s keeping in touch in case things don’t work out with you. Dudes occasionally view exes as safety nets.

    We’d probably all be better off not following our exes on the Facebook, the Instagram, and the Twitter—especially when they post hot selfies that we still drool over. But a complete digital freeze-out isn’t always something a guy wants to do. You see, a block or unfollow can create post-relationship drama, and it can also make things even weirder when you have mutual friends.  However, it’s still a red flag.

    It’s completely understandable if he’s a little bitter, but if he’s saltier than #SaltBae and going out of his way to talk about how much she sucked, sound the alarm. He might be trying to remind himself why he’s not with her in an attempt to convince himself he’s better off.

    He’s going ham on this relationship constantly hates on her

    There’s this thing some dudes do when they want to get back at their ex. They go into competitive mode by unofficially racing with their ex to see who can get to #RelationshipGoals status first. This is a match you don’t want to win.

    If he’s constantly saying things like, “My ex never appreciated American sssPickers like you do!” Or “She always texted other people while we’re at dinner.” Head for the hills. It may sound like a compliment, but he’s just comparing you to her. And you should run.

    He keeps that custom T-shirt she made for him

    That inside joke about Taylor Swift was probably hilarious back in 2013, but at this point it’s just awkward for anyone who see’s it. He should have gotten rid of it, given it back to her or, like, lit it on fire. However, Greer says people often keep mementos from past relationships for the memories, so it’s not always a sign he’s not over his ex—but it could be. Have a chat about the reason he feels the need to hold onto these memories, says Greer.

    Generally when you break up with someone, you stop hanging out with his or her family. But if he says he’s still tight with his ex’s parents—despite the fact that he “doesn’t talk to my ex at all.” We’re going to go ahead and get real: There’s probably part of him that hopes this keeps a connection between them. Though it is possible that he’s past his ex and just likes some of her family members, says Greer. Maybe it’s worth discussing as your relationship gets more serious.

     

  • Oracle blockchain technology will boost Customs revenue by 50%

    The Nigerian Customs Service (NCS) has partnered with Oracle to deploy its Blockchain Cloud Service to boost efficiency and grow revenue. In this interview, Assistant Comptroller-General, Modernization, at NCS, Aber T Benjamin, said the initiative promises to grow revenue by over 50 per cent. He speaks with Lucas Ajanaku.

     

    Why did the NCS reached for Oracle’s blockchain technology?

    NCS needed a technology, and partner, that could help us automate as many processes as possible – securely and efficiently.

    How long has it been deployed?

    The pilot on Oracle Blockchain Service was started in August of 2017 for the automation of Customs Excise Trade and Free Trade Zones.

    What has been its impact on optimising running cost? How is the technology going to help NCS meet the revenue target set by the Fed Govt?

    The successful completion of this Proof of Concept (POC) shows that, the entire business environment of Nigeria Customs can be migrated to Blockchain, to automate as many customs processes as possible, creating transparency and predictability. With Information Communication Technology (ICT), NCS have been able to improve revenue collection from about $195,000,000 per month to over $280,000,000. It is expected that once the Excise Trade Automation on Blockchain is fully completed, NCS will see a revenue growth increase of about 50 per cent.

    Generally, what has been its impact on the NCS?

    Oracle’s Blockchain-as-a-Service is used to provide Nigeria Customs Service with a trusted platform for the full automation of Customs Excise Trade business processes and procedures that improves transparency by allowing us to document and track products that are manufactured locally, right from the source of licensing and permits for manufacturing, to distribution and point of sale. An automated Excise will enable Nigeria to have reliable statistical data of its manufacturing base, and goods produced in Nigeria. In addition, it will help control the manufacturing industry, and create standards for global competitiveness; as well as regulate illegal manufacturing of products not fit for trade and consumption.

    With your experience so far with the technology, would advise other MDAs to embrace it?

    Yes, technology is required to drive transparency, trust, and predictability. To ensure reliable and irrefutable data required for all government services.

    In what particular way, if any, would this technology boost the anti-corruption war of the President Buhari led administration?

    Technology brings about inclusive understanding of all parties involved in that business process or service, and when it comes to the business process of Government the transparency attributed to this technology will instantly make it difficult for corruption to survive. Corruption survives where there is a lack of knowledge and understanding of policies, business process and procedures especially where this is not made transparent to all parties involved.

    How is the technology complementing the efforts to boost the efficiency of the Service?

    The area where this technology is being applied is currently manual, but with the full automation of the manual process leveraging Oracle Blockchain Service, the outcome will only be a win-win situation for the Service and the trading public in general.

  • Improve your marriage by learning ways to communicate with your hubby (2)

    1. PLAY the empathy card. Another key to being a good Husband Whisperer, I found, is getting your spouse to empathize with your situation. Better to say, for example, that you can’t relax and spend time with him or the kids until the dinner dishes are washed than, “Why don’t you ever help with the dishes?” Not only do gentler words encourage your husband to see through your bleary eyes, they allow him to come to your rescue—something men take pride in doing for women.

    Michelle Maidenberg, PhD, director of the Westchester Group Works, a group therapy center in White Plains, New York, told me that she plays the empathy card with her own husband—like the time she’d repeatedly asked him to put their kids’ sleds in the garage. Unlike her, he wasn’t at all bothered by sleds scattered on the front lawn like some kind of winter yard sale. A day went by, then two, then a week. “I must have asked him 10 times,” she recalls. Finally he said, angrily, “Why don’t you just put the stupid sleds away?”

    Dr. Maidenberg realized then that her husband didn’t understand why she was asking (OK, nagging) him to do something she could do herself. Then she explained: “It’s difficult for me to lift the sleds and carry them down the stairs,” she told him. The next morning the sleds were gone.

    Buoyed by her success, I let my husband watch while I struggled under the weight of two overstuffed laundry bags. When he didn’t budge, I tried the more direct approach. “Buck,” I said, using his affectionate nickname, “I really don’t think I can lift these bags myself.” Like Dr. Maidenberg’s husband, he gallantly volunteered to help carry the load. And I’m happy to report that he still does.

    1. Reward good behavior—the sexier the better. As a Husband Whisperer, I knew that I needed to employ more positive reinforcement. “Reward your husband for completing a task by doing something you both enjoy, like dinner and a movie,” Dr. Alpert suggested. “Women often find men who are good husbands and fathers sexy, so the hint of an even greater reward in the bedroom will almost guarantee success.”

    OK, but why should my husband get a gold star simply for being a good citizen of the household? I don’t get a pair of diamond earrings every time I clean the hamster cage. Still, it seemed like a mutually beneficial bargaining chip, so I was willing to give it a go.

    I let my husband pick from several chores I wanted to hand over, then I told him about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (sex!) that would be waiting for him if he handled that chore for the next few weeks. Intrigued, he chose homework help.

    To my amazement, after dinner that Monday, he didn’t have to be reminded about our deal. “Can we do the homework now?” he asked eagerly. “After iCarly is over,” I said, reminding him of another deal we’d struck with our seven-year-old for one hour of TV chill time. When the two of them finally headed off to hit the books, I luxuriated in an extra hour of me-time. And how did my husband respond later? Let’s just say he enjoyed it so much that he decided to extend our deal!

     

     

  • 10 Tips to de-stress your relationships

    Relationships often face challenges. These challenges can bring about feelings of stress and anxiety that if not properly managed can have serious health risks. Below are 10 tips to help de-stress your relationship:

    1. Commit to striving for a healthy relationship no matter what difficulties may arise. Eliminate the exits and obstacles to healing and intimacy. Quitting is not an option.
    2. Be respectful even when you are not feeling respected. Disrespect does long term harm to any relationship. There is no excuse for bad behavior.
    3. Take care of yourself. You cannot give what you don’t have. Develop a small but powerful support system. Find fun, passion and inspiration in something outside of the strained relationship. Don’t expect one person to be that for you.
    4. Make regular emotional deposits. Validate, encourage, stroke, and appreciate your loved ones at a rate of 5 positives to every negative comment or request.
    5. Connect daily with eye contact, attention, and affection and create special opportunities for deeper connection such game night, laughter, walks, vacations, or spending individual time.
    6. Accept others AS IS and overlook weaknesses. During stressful times relationships may be strained and critical. Shift your focus away from flaws and toward the qualities you like and appreciate. Loving is a choice and it will return whenever you consciously look for the good things in the people you care about.
    7. Maintain healthy boundaries to protect your family and relationships from common invaders such as jobs, too much activity, intrusive family members or friends, telephone, computer, TV etc.
    8. Plan for intimate encounters. Don’t wait for it to just happen. Deepening relationships requires planning and effort. Take responsibility for creating the environment as well as the mental and emotional state that will improve your connection.
    9. Conserve energy. Monitor your energy the way you do money. There is a limited supply and you must decide how to spend it. Without boundaries energy is wasted on less important things and people who are not a priority. If you value your relationships, you must save energy for yourself and your loved ones every day.
    10. Live your truth. Have a mission statement for your life and your family and re-evaluate it yearly. Ask yourselves “Is this the life we want to be living?” If it isn’t, make a plan for gradual change in any area that needs it. Seek help when you feel stuck.

     

  • ‘Is it wrong to date someone who just experienced a heartbreak?’

    “I met this really exceptional lady 18 months ago.

    As at then, her boyfriend just broke up with her. According to her, she gave him her all including her virginity.

    We got along so well, and I assisted her in forgetting him gradually or so I thought.

    We became friends and gradually the bond grew stronger. We told each other anything and did everything together.

    Feelings and emotions came to place and of course, I asked her out.

    We started dating and she constantly reminds me not too love her too much, because she believes that she might hurt me.

    She happens to mean so much to me and I have decided to love her with no condition.

    Although, I am way older than her, she is a very young lady who believes that her dreams are major priority for her.

    She was so scared of commitment but I assured her that I am willing to stay no matter how long it would take.

    We have been fine and relationship has been smooth until recently, she became all aggressive and secretive.

    She avoided receiving calls in my presence and went as far as securing her phones.

    I got so worried and tried all I could to make her talk. I apologized to her in case I had done something I wasn’t conscious of.

    She was still moody, refused to pick my calls and asked me to stay away from her.

    I kept pushing hard, trying every means to reach her until finally she gave me a chance to talk to her.

    She told me that her ex is back and that her love for him is still sincere.

    She said that she already accepted him back and that I should please, forget about her.

    My feelings for her hasn’t changed a bit, before she accepted me, she told me how she had been trying to maintain balance in her previous relationship.

    She complained about how she was the only one showing all the love and care. She said the guy never created time for her and even goes as far as avoiding her calls.

    She told me how non challant the guy could be and how he makes her cry often.

    Read Also: ‘My wife apologises for my mistakes, it irritates me’

    Now, she has decided to go back to that cage. At this point, I am so confused.

    I really don’t know what to do or say. I love her and I don’t want to lose her.

    Was it a mistake to have loved someone who recently had heartbreak?

    Was I wrong to have loved her with all of my heart and mind?

    How do I tell her that the guy is no good for her?

    How do I make her realize that she deserves better? Much more better in fact?

    How do I sleep knowing that she is not happy?

    How do I make myself unlove her?”

     

     

    You can also share your story with us @info@thenationonlineng.net

  • ‘My wife apologises for my mistakes, it irritates me’

    “My wife can beg for the Nigeria. I don’t mean begging I mean apologisng.

    She apologizes even when I am wrong,her sorry is beginning to irritate me .

    I cheated on her with our neighbour’s daughter and she saw all the evidences, even the girls mum came to harass me and my wife kept covering for me.

    After the drama she came to beg me. I was irritated.

    I asked her, why are you apologizing and she said because she loves me, why can’t she wait for me to beg her when I wrong her. Why is she always playing the fool?

    So today, she saw a message on my phone, it was a message I sent to my side chick and she confronted me, I tried to explain to her and she got upset, as I was about leaving the house, she started begging me again.

    Read Also: ‘My wife was disvirgined right in my presence’

    Telling me that she is not angry again.

    I tried to push her away, she held me and I slapped her by mistake. Expecting her to let me go but she held my shirt and kept begging.

    I felt pity for her but at the same time I was irritated. Why is she acting all desperate? I love a woman that can be quite hard, not a foot mat.

    How do I go about this?

    I want her to stop apologizing sheepishly.”

     

     

    BOM

  • US holds drone tech workshop for women, pupils

    The United States Consulate- General, Lagos, held a two-day drone technology workshop for students and women STEM leaders in collaboration with Baltimore-based Global Air Media.

    The training, which held at the Cedar STEM & Entrepreneurship Hub, and American Corner at Co-Creation Hub (CCHUB), both in Yaba, Lagos, saw a team of three drone experts led by Global Air Media co-founder Eno Umoh facilitating the series of workshops.

    Thirty elementary and high school pupils were coached on the basics of building a drone from the scratch, as well as the requisite skills for piloting and landing an unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV).

    In addition to the seminar which the pupils participated in, 13 women STEM leaders were mentored on the evolving technology needs of the 21st century, particularly in the fields of real estate and construction, cinematography, as well as humanitarian and emergency response.

    Public Affairs Officer, U.S. Consulate Lagos, Ms. Darcy Zotter, explained that the hands-on workshop was designed to stimulate the interest of the participating students in math and science, as well as careers in the STEM fields.

    “STEM enables us to find solutions to some of the most pressing issues of today such as alternative energy or even food security. Creating inventions to solve global challenges can be a catalyst for a country’s economic development,” Zotter said.

    According to her, the U.S. Mission in Nigeria has funded a number of projects to increase STEM education in different parts of the country.  Whether at home or abroad, she added, promoting STEM education is a top priority of the U.S. government.

    “Last March, we hosted a 16-member delegation of senior women technology executives and professionals from Silicon Valley, California. The visiting delegation held a mentoring program for over 70 Nigerian female STEM leaders.

    “In December 2017, we funded the establishment of a technology hub in Lagos designed to host training and mentoring sessions for persons living with disabilities in various technology-based skills. We also hosted RoboRAVE, a robotics education program in Lagos and Abeokuta in October 2017,” she explained.

  • 10 signs your relationship isn’t working (3)

    IF she’s exactly what you’re looking for, but you’re still finding faults, you need to consider that maybe you’re being unnecessarily judgmental. Everyone has flaws; Why are you picking hers apart? There are a lot of reasons guys do this, but a lot of times it comes from setting unrealistically high standards for yourself, then projecting them onto other people. That’s a problem only you can fix for yourself.

    1. There’s no long-term potential

    Some girls are fun, but there’s nothing really there. Good times, good sex, good laughs… but nothing more tangible than that. Presumably, if you two are more than “just dating,” you want some kind of long-term potential. If you’re not feeling it, that’s a serious problem.

    Solution: Evaluate why she is not a keeper.

    Why don’t you two have any long-term potential? It could be something as simple as “we’ve never talked about it.” It could be as complicated as she’s Jewish, you’re Catholic and that’s important to both of you.

    Either way, you can’t fix it or even know if you can until you know what it is. It can be difficult to communicate such personal issues, not least of all because you’re afraid of hurting her feelings. Psychologist Marcia Reynolds urges you to avoid spitefulness, examine your motives for speaking up and — of course — to ask her if she’s even interested in your opinion before offering it. Reasons to break up: The difference between where she is and what you want to great.

    In the latter case referenced above, there’s nothing really to do about it. You can hang around until it runs its course, but that’s also preventing you from getting something more meaningful and permanent.

    1. You don’t trust each other

    Trust is a difficult thing. Especially if one of you has done something to violate the other’s trust; But maybe one of you is just not a trusting person or have had experiences in the past that affects your ability to trust. You might even be an untrustworthy person who is projecting how you lie or manipulate onto your partner even if they do not do that. Whatever the issue is, you can’t have a serious relationship without trust. So how do you start building that?

    Solution: Begin building trust in small ways.

    Rather than looking for these grand gestures that build trust, look for small ones.

    Keeping your world on small promises allows you to build trust incrementally. Simply being where you say you’ll be when you say you’ll be there can be an important step.

    Be honest about when you’ve done something wrong and expect the same from her.

    At the same time, be willing to forgive when you are the wronged party.

    Share things about yourself that are personal, or even painful. That kind of vulnerability can help to build trust.

    Have a trusted friend you can check in with. Sometimes all we need is a third party to tell us it’s OK to trust. Reasons to Break Up: One of you just can’t repair the trust.

    At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter who’s the one who can’t trust. A lack of trust in a relationship means that there won’t be a relationship sooner rather than later. All you’re doing by maintaining things is digging yourself in deep into something that is going to have diminishing returns and eventually come to an end.

    1. You never go on dates

    It’s funny. They call it “dating,” but a lot of people who are don’t go on a lot of actual dates. This can lead to boredom. It can also lead to “falling out of love,” which was cited by nearly 40 percent of women as a reason for breaking up. So you need to pay attention to this, even when you’re in a long-term relationship.

    Solution: Pick a day of the week and make that date night.

    While it’s definitely serious, it’s also one of the easiest things to go ahead and fix: Pick a night, make it date night. No cancelling for a night with the guys, a work thing or even the Superbowl. Date night is date night is date night.

    This isn’t speculation: A 2010 survey showed that not only did couples with a date night have better relationships — the couples surveyed even had better sex lives.

    Reasons to break up: Just don’t.

    Seriously, if the only problem you have is not going on dates, there is no way to make this a break-up worthy offense. You need to step up, be a man and start directing the relationship.

    1. You’re wondering about other women

    Maybe you’ve got some chemistry with a woman at work. Maybe it’s the girl who serves you coffee. Maybe you’re just day dreaming a lot about women that you encounter. The point is, you’re wondering about other women. Solution: Realize it’s normal and not necessarily a reason to break up.

    Guess what? You’re never going to stop looking at other women. You’re never going to stop wondering about other women. Not only is it normal, there are ways to appreciate women that don’t involve breaking up or cheating. Maybe you flirt a bit with the girl who makes your

    Latte and that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with it. Just enjoy it for what it is but don’t take it too far and break energetic integrity with your partner.

    Reasons to break up: You’ve cheated or think you’re going to.

    There’s no reason to go there. If you’ve truly assessed the situation and you want someone else, it’s time to put a clean and honorable end to it. There are plenty of ways to break up with someone, but the important thing is that you be honest and make your feelings clear.

     

    Source: theartofcharm.com

    Concluded