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Category: Weekend Treat

Women are chronic devils (2)

THE music was loud. Really, it was loud for all to hear. No thanks to the large loud speakers stationed around the conspicuous places. Lots of cars, ranging from the common to the best and the costliest; different ranges littered the adjourning roads, though well packed.

The security guards, both public and private ones, were also around to maintain maximum security. They were tactical in their duties. They were well groomed for such occasions. The bouncers at the three gates of the night club were intimidating with their postures and looks. Who can cuddle the lion? No way. They were simply lions on duty. The biceps were enough, and they are a story for another day.

City Recreation Club was not for all comers. It was an exclusive reserve of the mightiest and shakers of the society. No housewife will come there and be allowed in. Any housewife who dares it will be messed up publicly. That was why we nicknamed the place No Peeping. The life there was like that of the so-called Paradise. We also called the club Paradise on Earth. If you have a stroke and come there six times, the stroke will literarily vanish.

Just to tell you how well guarded our club was, and how we didn’t tolerate nonsense. One day, Madam Adjamena, the wife of a military officer, who herself was a highly respected society woman with lots of high connections came there to warn one of the girlfriends her husband was dating. They didn’t allow her to enter.

In fury and to show her connections, she went to the nearby military cantonment to bring some officers who could assist her to gain entrance.

Before her entourage could access, it was her husband who ordered top military officers to bundle her to the back of her jeep. She was humiliated and her wig fell off her head, making her to look like a 76-year-old witch. Nobody could save her. Her treatment in the hands of the military even with her high connections was a strong warning to other housewives. So, if your ox was gored as the madam of the house, better keep your headache to yourself! Chikena. Babu turenchi.

That day, as the music was blaring and the members were soaked in electrifying enjoyment, I drove slowly to the VVIP gate with my lovebird, Angelina. As we were parking, the music coming out of Kofi Aggery, the highlife maestro was called Se Bebe . Bebe is a Yoruba word for buttock-line beads. Women wear bebe to make their buttocks look lovely, sexy and attractive. And it can make a man go crazy at the sight of it, when you are alone with your babe. Angelina wore it and I even encouraged her to wear many lines of them

The music goes this:

Se bebe, se bebe (Wear bebe, put on bebe)

Fine baby, se bebe( Fine baby, put on bebe)

Moni ko se bebe ( I implore you to wear bebe)

Orekelewa se bebe ( Elegant one, wear bebe)

Angelina likes the song. As she stepped of the car, she hummed it alongside the singers inside. I put the car key in my pocket, drew her closer; motioned her to rest on the car. I used my two hands to caress her beads as we both danced to the song there still leaning on the car.

I kissed her slightly, which she did not resist. After a while, we entered the big garden where the music was coming from. Some of our social club members were there already. It was an evergreen enjoyment galore! Na rich man go die beta! The band leader on sighting Angelina and me changed the music tempo. It was more dramatic and electrifying. It was Angelina’s best song titled Angelina with originality by the late I. K (Isaac Kehinde) Dairo (M B E). Here it goes:

Angelina ,Angelina, o ti lo waju(Angelina, Angelina, you are too elegant)

Angelina ,Angelina, o ti lo waju ( Angelina, Angelina, you are too elegant)

Ipepe oju re o n wu mi o ( Your eyebrows are lovely)

Ibebere idi re, o n wu mi o (Your buttocks are inviting me)

Kini maje gbagbe re o Angelina (What would I do to forget you Angelina)

As Kofi changed to the new music, Angelina didn’t bother to go to the seat reserved for us. She sauntered in high fashion to the front of the band, shaking her bum-bum seductively; her steps sedately like a child just learning how to walk, danced majestically to the melodious song. I opened my big wallet where I had already stuffed newly printed mint notes, sprayed her, it got to a stage that I was mad with excitement. I put one hand round her buttocks and used the other to spray money on her forehead. Ah ah, money is good, money is the original king. Forget any story my people.

Kofi Aggery was dazzled with my spraying habit. He prostrated on the floor with her guitar on her chest, singing my praises. My Personal Assistant (P.A, Domestic) whom I had stationed at the club came closer with another big bag stuffed with crispy notes. I opened it and poured money on the band leader, like the way a concerned individual will pour water on a fainting child. The uproar was remarkable. Everybody inclusive of the club’s president was aghast with my act. They cheered me up. Other women envied Angelina, the controller of the master. She herself likes to show off. She allowed them to know she was in control. To her, superiority is not a matter of age, na status.

After the whole show, I sat down with Angelina. People were coming to pay obeisance to us. I too later got up to greet the club’s president and others. Kai! Money na master. Can you believe that some women and ladies who came to the club with their lovers were eyeing me? What money will cause in this world, money itself won’t be able to solve it. I was enjoying the show. Whoever wants to woo me is free. I can eat any meat. Be it freshly prepared or not. Just the taste and aroma are what I need. Either a woman is beautiful, ugly, medium, short or plumpish; I don’t care, what I am after is the enjoyment. This is not to say I don’t have class, I have taste and I am not a rapist. I have never forced any woman to love me. Women are devils, whatever they want, they will get it. Even if you are holier than the holy itself. Easy and cool, women will get you if you are there target. I fear women.

Angelina was already devouring smoked big catfish stuffed with potatoes and onions , by the time I got to my seat. She wanted to put a slice in her mouth, on sighting me; she got up lovingly and put it in my mouth openly there. I ate it while standing there. She poured the Irish cream in a glass cup and put it in my mouth to savour it. All eyes as usual were on us.

By the time we were through at the club, we went to one of the rooms to rest. Time was 3.52am. I was really tired. Angelina poured on me shea butter oil to massage my body. I moaned in satisfaction. She was on top of me because I was too famished for any rigorous exercise. If you want to feel same moment without a woman around you, just pour ice cream in a flat plate. Look for soft pear and eat it with it. You will feel as if 20 women were working on your system. Not in a ‘witchlike’ manner, but in a real loving and ecstasy moods. Try it; I am still a leader in the game. Forget that the money has gone with Angelina, the chronic and heartless devil.

The shouts of Asalam alekun by the Muslim worshippers woke me up around 5.30am. Angelina was still sleeping. I checked my phone; I had 32 missed calls, majority of them from home. And the first call was around 4.14pm, a day before and the last by quarter to five that hour.

I got up, rushed into the bathroom for a quick shower. I was about going when Angelina held me from behind. I told her ‘no’ and that I needed to go home to prepare for the day

“No, no, honey. I need to go home and prepare for today”

“You don’t mean you will leave me here and go home?”

“Try to understand babe, I have been here since yesterday noon. Let me go home please”

“No qualms, but what about that thing?”

“Which thing?”

“The money I requested from you.”

By this time, she was already sitting on the bed. Her breasts were almost popping out of her beautiful blue colour lingerie. I jokingly squeezed them and she moaned as a sign for wanting me closer. But I made no further move because I needed to be home seriously.

“The money for my business expansion,” Angelina said holding my right hand.

“We will discuss it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow again?”

“Yes, honey, tomorrow”. I was fully on my feet.

I gave her a warm hug and went away leaving behind one of the purses that I had not touched the money inside it. And the money there was 1.5 million, meaning, I came to the club with 6 million naira! We spent 4.5 million on enjoyment galore alone.

“That’s my love; I will always adore you till the end,” Angelina said, thanking me, after she gave me a big hug. She also kissed the money.

“It is my pleasure my baby”

I left her there and went home. By the time I got home, I learnt my wife had travelled to Oguta to see my mother, who was seriously ill and needed to undergo surgical operation. It was baffling. I put a call to her and she told me to speak to Mama directly and told me to call her back in the next one hour which I did..

To be continued

May 20, 2017
How to master ladies’ G-spot

There’s no doubt you’ve heard of the G-spot: that mythical area that feels extra good for ladies when you hit it. But sadly, there are a lot of women who actually haven’t even found their own G-spots themselves. Why not?

For starters, it can be hard to locate. And when she’s masturbating and her clitoris is right out there in the open and ready to go, going on a solo treasure hunt in search of it the G-spot might just feel a little unnecessary.

However, for the women who have managed to find that sacred spot, the results can be pretty mind blowing, and any guy who can find his partner’s G-spot and use it to give her maximum pleasure would qualify as an incredible lover. Finding it, however, is only the first step. You’ll need to know how it works, and the best way to stimulate it for maximum pleasure. Having a few sex positions handy that target this erogenous zone will further help your cause.

Ready to start searching and blow her mind? Here’s how to master the G-spot — what it is, what it does, how to find it, best practices for making it feel good and beyond.

Now would also be a good time to note that the orgasms that occur through stimulating the G-spot versus the ones that result from clitoral stimulation are related — but are felt a bit differently. “G-spot orgasms also overlap with clitoral and vaginal orgasms, as the area known as the G-spot is accessible through the front wall of the vagina and is located in very close proximity to the legs of the clitoris,” says Dr. O’Reilly.

“Both scientific and anecdotal accounts of G-spot orgasms, however, suggest that they are distinct from other experiences of pleasure.

Women often report that a G-spot orgasm feels different from a clitoral one, as they experience sensations of bearing down or pushing out with their pelvic floor muscles as opposed to tenting effect from clitoral stimulation.

In fact, research suggests that the brain actually uses different regions for processing each of these feelings.

“Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. Barry Komisaruk discovered that vaginal, cervical and G-spot stimulation activates different parts of the brain via four different nerve pathways that innervate the clitoris, vagina and cervix,” says Dr. O’Reilly.

“What is most exceptional about this differentiation is the fact that the Vagus nerve bypasses the spinal cord, allowing even those diagnosed with complete spinal cord injury to experience pleasure and orgasm via the cervix.” So, now you know how it all works. But if the G-spot differs in location from woman to woman, how do you go about finding it?

This article first appeared on askmen.com

May 19, 2017
Making up with your ex
IT’S over. You’ve broken up, hired attorneys, filed or are already divorced. You thought that you were successfully moving on, and you’re facing what feels like another long, lonely weekend alone. Sure, you’ve been dating, but you haven’t met anyone of enduring significance. When you first separated you felt confident and justified, even hopeful about meeting someone new, but now you’re feeling miserable.

You’re laying on the couch, obsessing over what could have or should have been with your ex. You’re wondering what they’re doing and whom they’re with. Are they thinking about and missing you too? Maybe they’re your Great Love after all, and you screwed up in letting them go!

So when they text you with an “I miss you. Can we talk?”, you’re beside yourself with hopefulness and glee. You feel like this is the miraculous moment you’ve been praying for. Here’s your chance to make it right and get back together.

Not so fast!

In my work with divorcing couples, and being the veteran of two divorces myself, I’ve learned personally and professionally that no matter what your lonesome heart is telling you in this moment of vulnerability, it’s critical to remain rational, take it slow, and most of all, keep your eyes open. I can promise you those unresolved problems will rise again, once the hormones and excitement settles down and you’re back in your comfort zone.

If you both truly want to use this as a second chance at creating a happier, more successful and secure relationship, make sure you can both clearly answer a resounding “yes” to the following relationship well-being stabilizers before calling your attorneys and jumping back in. Please note that the operative word here is “both.”
1. We have a plan of action in place to deal with disappointments that may occur. It is important to have a “rough waters, this is shaky territory” game plan for how to handle your responses differently this time around. Discuss the problem areas that you had in the past and the needed changes. Having some strategies in place will eliminate some of the shock and disappointment that occurs when you realize not much has magically changed during the time apart.
2. We have no secrets, no masks and are willing to speak our truth. Many times we hide our true selves in order to keep the peace and win approval, attention and love. But then, we never feel completely known or seen. To make it work, you need to have the following agreement: No secrets. No masks. I am really me. You are really you. No lies, no games.
3. We won’t bail when things get tough. There has to be a firm commitment to stay together while you are making new and permanent changes. Create a love contract that declares your willingness to hang in there and hold hands when the inevitable problems, fears and regressions arise.
4. We are prepared to take it slow and rebuild again. This is a second chance for love. Take it slow. Don’t fall prey to the lure of ex-sex. While the desire to jump into bed may be strong, give yourself the time to learn about each other anew and see each other with fresh eyes. Go on dates, talk and build trust. Become friends. Be gentle and nurturing with yourself and your partner. Notice how safe it feels to really be you. Are your needs being met? How loved and accepted do you each feel?
5. We have the same goals for the relationship. It’s problematic if one person wants to move quickly and the other wants to take it slow. Or one of you wants children and the other doesn’t. Don’t reunite before you are sure the timing is right and a mutual commitment of goals is agreed upon.
6. We are ready and willing to forgive the past. If you truly want to repair and rejuvenate your relationship, you’ll have to resolve the negative feelings and come to a place of forgiveness and understanding with yourself and each other. As the barriers melt and a renewed sense of safety and relief replaces hurt, your hearts will be free to truly love again.
Let’s face it, no relationship is problem or disappointment free. The real strength and cohesion between you is often revealed in how you deal with the problems and frustrations that arise. This time around, make sure you have a plan in place, especially for your hot button issues. Decide in advance how you’ll solve problems as a team, not make issues exclusively a “me” problem or a “you” problem. When problems do arise, the best question to ask is “How would love respond?” Loving actions brings caring solutions.

A breakup isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it can give a relationship the healthy shake up it needs. Like a brush with death, splitting up can breathe new life and love back into a relationship that has lost its luster, grown lonely, built up a shopping cart of unexpressed resentments, or got caught up in the spin of too many distractions. Suddenly, in the midst of this rebirth, you value being together more and realize how much you really do love each other.

This could be a second chance to have that great and enduring relationship your heart desires, or it could be the necessary completion you need to fully move on. Whatever the outcome, the willingness to choose love over fear is a worthy journey no matter how the relationship ultimately ends up.

Sheri Meyers, Psy.D is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA, and author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love, and Affair-Proof Your Relationship.

Source: huffingtonpost.com
May 17, 2017
Ladies don’t love men who do these five things

More often than necessary, you might have heard a friend complain about women not finding them attractive enough or perhaps be jealous of another friend who women always clog around. The reason could be that they engage in these things that turn women off.

Several pieces of research have been done into the gap between men and women. It’s not rocket science to determine what men find less attractive to women. Take a quick look at these few blunders:

Another bottle of wine too!

Most men love a woman who loves to party but like a little policy. Sorry, ladies, but a real friend should not drink more than necessary. It is very embarrassing if someone sees my man “that drunk last week cuddled and constantly using the toilet. Thus, the task of ensuring that it does not happen is a factor to consider in hanging around the guy.

TRENDING: Best sexual positions for first timers

Forgot to shave

There is no denial that men who give time to shave usually appear more attractive to women. If you are not sure, ask a female friend or workmate politely. It’s no mystery that women also have hair growth, but there are few men who feel attractive carrying bushy armpits, moustache or chin hair. Yeah, you may ask why women go as far as shaving everything including the hair in their Hood.

Cursing like a ‘danfo’ driver

Some of us have friends and may be relatives who use the f-words and the k-words often and we forgive them but that is not to say that we do not have some reservations. However, as a guy who wants to be loveable and charming to ladies should rather avoid such. This is not to say that you have to start speaking like Barrack Obama addressing the Congress or Queen Elizabeth of United Kingdom, but a little attention to your words is not too much to ask. It shows a sign of respect for the lady.

Know the right time

RELATED: Masturbation: How to overcome the bad addiction

Crazy, crazier, craziest! A typical loveable guy by all ladies is one that understands when to touch her, where to touch her and how to touch her that she might say Stop. In fact, an attractive, smart dude understands that she actually meant Continue! Similarly, there are brave and lively ladies who like to have it rough. Play rough, run around, punch them and carry them. Unfortunately, you are going to be tagged boring if you fail to respond to her gesture for a rough play per time. She wants to run but you want to sit, that’s an error.

Perfume

You either accept this as a fact or not, perfume is there to enhance your scent. Sometimes it also helps to create an identity or to fall, it depends on your ability to choose the right perfume. Usually, perfumes with very strong fragrance don’t go well with ladies because it chokes them. Well, don’t be disappointed if they choke you, just endure.

In essence, do you use perfume? Do so with caution. Men burst out on huge smoke odour. Some smart ladies like to figure out the name of your perfume by perceiving the fragrance. Interestingly, they feel challenged when you confuse them by mixing two or three perfumes. Hey! Be careful in mixing perfumes, hence you begin to smell like an undertaker from the gr*veyard.

May 17, 2017
Why beautiful, smart ladies fall in love with silly, ugly guys

The reasons why every individual engages in certain things like making the choice of lovers is mostly personal. In essence, what works for you might not work for someone else. No doubt, this is a recent trend in the world of relationships.

Below is a question from an anonymous reader on why beautiful and smart ladies fall in love with men that are silly and ugly.

The Question

Hi Dating Nerd,

I have been noticing a recent trend in the dating world. Why are women attracted to such unintelligent men? Do they get a sense of power out of it or is it a lark?

I have a few friends who are not the sharpest tool in the shed but yet manage to get laid every night. The women, however, are intelligent. I have spoken to many different women about this issue, and they think dating dumb men is really a turn-on.

The women I have asked have such careers as doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, etc. My point is these women are not stupid. So what the hell is going on with this current dating trend? Please shine some light on it for me, because I refuse to dumb myself down for any person.

– Unappreciated Genius

The Answer

Hi Unappreciated Genius,

I get why you’re confused. After all, intelligent men are inherently superior, right? Why would a woman want to date some dumb jock when she could date a guy who quotes Proust and understands the motion of molecules? Wouldn’t she miss the scintillating debates? Wouldn’t she get frustrated that she couldn’t talk about her dissertation?

Well, not necessarily. See, there’s a shaky assumption at the heart of your question, which is that smart men are inherently superior. And this is incorrect, for two reasons.

First reason: Women don’t need men to provide intellectual stimulation. They can get that on their own. Look around you. If you hadn’t noticed, women are now lawyers, doctors, marketing sharks, insurance executives, and captains, so to speak, of industries. Many, many smart women are occupying demanding roles in the information economy. Increasingly, women spend long workdays absorbing avalanches of data and issuing complicated recommendations.

And nobody — well, almost nobody — wants to keep their brain turned on all the time. If you’re a smart woman with a high-powered job, it’s perfectly reasonable that you’d want to hook up with an intellectually relaxing dude-bro, rather than an intellectually demanding guy like you.

If this seems implausible, that’s only because it runs counter to some of the hoariest old relationship stereotypes. Y’know, like the one about the 1950s husband figure who does a complicated job and comes home to a simple, loving wife. Or the one about the private equity fund genius who dates a slew of European models. Dating someone who’s felicitous but a bit dim is not a new trend. It just seems more novel when the gender roles are switched up.

And if this doesn’t seem fair, well — reader, look inside yourself for a second…

Aren’t you attracted to the girl you met at the gym who isn’t necessarily exceptional at trigonometry, but probably looks great on a dance floor, or, more to the point, a bedroom floor? Don’t you find a certain kind of giggly, un-snobby femininity attractive?

Don’t lie to me, now. All nerds nurse crushes on cheerleaders. It doesn’t seem right to judge women for having similar attractions.

The second, more important reason is this: A lot of smart guys really suck with women. As we all know, intelligence doesn’t necessarily translate to emotional skills. Especially because a lot of intellectual dudes didn’t necessarily get a positive social experience growing up. Many dorky, sweet men are just unpracticed in terms of how to flirt, or date. And then there are straight-up terrible smart dudes: condescending pseudo-intellectuals and bitter PhDs.

Surely, you’ve heard of the term ‘mansplaining.’ Y’know, the thing where men pepper their co-ed conversations with explanations of extremely basic phenomena as if the women they were talking to had never left their houses. Whatever you think of the word itself — whether or not you think it unfairly categorises the male gender — it is a very real phenomenon. Lots of women are tired of having men lecture at them about whatever.

And usually, I don’t think it comes from a bad place. Men want to impress women. We’re under the impression that knowledge itself is impressive. And it is often said to be a quality women want in men. So we get the unhelpful impulse to brandish it at random. Also, the main genre of dude conversation is the hours-long exchange of minutiae and trivia. It’s not like mansplainers think, “Well, it’s time to be sexist now…” and then launch into their thing.

But those good (or at least benign) intentions don’t change a thing. Mansplaining is still, at best, tiring. Every woman I know well is fed up with being on the receiving end of male rambling. They’ve all practised the pained but polite facial expression required when some software engineer goes on a monologue about how Radiohead’s last few albums were unappreciated. And maybe you’ve never done such a thing, ever. Maybe it isn’t you. But you can’t blame women for being wary of self-styled intellectuals.

After all, compare that to your friendly gym-rat type of guy. He’s chill, easygoing, and doesn’t feel the need to speak in paragraphs about his existential crises. If he has a philosophy, it’s probably along the lines of “stay hungry,” or “be nice to people.” Also, he was probably popular in high school and is thus comfortable in conversation, self-assured, fond of making compliments, and pretty good in bed. His reflex isn’t to tell women all about seismology. He just says dumb sh*t to get a laugh. And it works.

Everything I’ve said so far has been a condemnation of smart dudes. Even if you agree with me, I still haven’t given you any usable advice. But now I will do that. You might not like it, though.

My advice is this: Learn from the dumb dudes.

By that, I don’t mean suppress your intellect, or act stupid. What I mean is, change up your game a little. Upon meeting a lovely woman, is your first instinct to say something profound about a giant novel you just read? Well, maybe don’t do that. Instead, ask her some questions about herself. Say something silly. Keep it light. Don’t make the interaction laborious.

Rather than being worried about displaying your intelligence, try hard to find a common connection with the woman you’re talking to. Look for shared interests, or opinions, or just something you can both laugh about. Be warm and genuine first, and verbose later. And, crucially, on your online dating profile, don’t write six paragraphs about all the smart stuff you think because you’re so smart. That’s just tedious. (I have done the same thing in the past, for what it’s worth.)

Also? Those dudes of mediocre brainpower who are landing all those chicks probably have good style, and they’re probably in good shape. All the grey matter in the world won’t make up for a horrific outfit, a ridiculous haircut, or being in hideous physical shape. Get that stuff locked down. It’s as important as anything intellectual. Maybe much more.

There’s a larger lesson here. When you see women being interested in men who aren’t like you, don’t just scratch your head, and assume that they should want what you’ve got instead. Instead of judging, observe. You’re being given important information about women’s needs. A man of your intellect should know how valuable that is.

May 16, 2017
How To Make Your D*ck Smell Good

In a post from www.askmen.com, David Strovny spotted some bad habits that most guys put up which result in carrying stinking hoods around.

According to Strovny,

Your diet can hinder the way you smell or worse, the way you taste. Motivate her to go down south and come back for seconds.

We’d love to all think we’re in top form when it comes to getting up close and personal to someone, but the truth is, life happens: Sometimes you or your partner will have a smell going on that may get in the way and is a potential turnoff for you or your sexual partner.

The genital area has many sebaceous and apocrine glands, which make oil and sweat. It’s also an area that can get overheated under layers of clothes and underwear, all of which can lead to bacterial growth that can cause some intense smells. There are some easy ways to help keep it under control though.

This is a common issue among young inexperienced men.

However, that smell is common and is not an emergency. It can be more common among uncircumcised men. First, they need to rule out an STD and something called phimosis, which is when the penis head becomes constricted and infected – says men’s health expert, Dr Ralph Esposito.

While it’s in no way a reflection on anything you are doing wrong, there are a lot of factors that can be responsible, and a lot you can do about it.

One thing to keep in mind with regard to penis smell is that it can be an issue for uncircumcised guys. Guys with a foreskin can run the risk of their penises smelling more strongly, based on the growth of bacteria or yeast underneath the foreskin, if they don’t wash there regularly.

“Smell is from bacteria or yeast, there is no other reason to smell. It’s all about the whiff test if you smell something,” says Dr. David Shusterman, Founder and Medical Director of NY Urology

Tips to always smell good

If you are about to have sex for the first time or if you’re a relative newbie, first, do an inspection to make sure everything looks good. If there is any kind of funk, go into the shower and thoroughly wash your penis, including under the foreskin if you’re uncircumcised.

After the shower, dry off completely and do the whiff test — run a finger or a Q-tip along your penis and penis head and then sniff it. If there’s any smell left over after the shower, don’t have sex. Go see a urologist or your doctor, urologist preferred, and get some medication or treatment protocol. If you have a persistent smell that doesn’t go away, definitely go to see a urologist.

Keep It Dry

“After a shower, you should make sure you’re dry down there before you put on your undergarments. Don’t wear loose-fitting boxers – put on underwear like boxer briefs that will take away liquid or moisture away during the day,” says Dr Shusterman.

If you exercise or engage in activities that make you sweat, make sure you shower. Your sweat takes any bacteria you do have and makes it grow. “Sweat is not bad – it’s just that it makes the area moist and grows the bacteria. The best deodorant for down there is keeping it dry. Covering up the smell is not enough, you have to keep it dry,” says Dr Shusterman.

Get Rid Of Smegma

You may have noticed a secretion in the folds of your skin down there, especially if you are uncircumcised. That’s smegma. Smegma also called “dick cheese,” is a mixture of skin cells, yeast and sweat that can appear under your foreskin and will smell strongly. How do you get rid of it? Simply wash regularly, since sweat is the real catalyst for smegma. “Yeast is always on your skin but you can’t make cheese unless you give it the proverbial milk… which would be the water or sweat that blends with yeast to make the cheese,” says Dr. Shusterman.

Get Tested

Another source of a strong negative odour coming off your penis could be STIs, or sexually transmitted infections, previously known as STDs or sexually transmitted diseases. If you’ve had unprotected sex in the past few months, you might have caught one. To be on the safe side, you should be getting tested for diseases every six months or so — or if you notice symptoms of a disease,.

Wash Well

There are a lot of folds around the groin areas. “It’s important to really take your time and wash all of the crevices. Uncircumcised men need to clean beneath the foreskin as well. Regular soap should do the trick. It’s not ideal to use an antibacterial soap, though you could if all else fails,” says Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert and the award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. That being said, do not ever use things like bleach or alcohol on your nether regions.

Consider Health Issues

What are you putting inside your body? Lots of guys believe or indeed do have bad ball odor. The reasons for it ranges, but a lot of it is what you are putting in your body: Are you a smoker? Do you have a heavy junk food or garlic diet? “Smoking, booze and a poor diet can make us taste and smell bad. Now may be the time to give up or seriously curtail those habits,” says Nina Helms, a sexual health expert.

Give It A Trim

Keeping neat and tidy is a good way to stay smelling your best. Pubic hair increases the likelihood of staying heated and it traps in moisture and odors. “You don’t have to take it all away, but pruning things down can make a big difference in potential smells forming,” says Hall. So if you’re concerned, consider manscaping a bit down there soonest.

Apply Talcum Powder

Talcum powder will also keep you drier and fresher. “A little sprinkle will help you feel fresher and stay smelling good. There are a variety of powders made for this very purpose,” says Hall.

May 16, 2017
What you need to know about losing your virginity

No matter how long ago it happened, every 99% of women on the planet can tell you in clear terms how they lost their virginity. Of all the first things you’ll experience in your lifetime, your first time doing the deed truly marks a clear before and after.

One minute, you’re a guy who has imagined what it would be like to penetrate a woman by way of lots of porn and sexual daydreams. And then next minute (or hopefully more), you’ve got the experience under your belt and you’re ready to start uhh, honing your craft so to speak.

However, according to Danielle Page of ca.askmen.com, she advised that it might not be okay to get ahead of ourselves here. Because, according to her, losing your virginity is a pretty big deal, we want to make sure you’re going in there as prepared as humanly possible.

That’s the great thing about cashing in your V-card in the digital age – you’ve got a world of information at your fingertips to make sure that you nail it. Ready to delve into the dos and don’ts? From what it’ll feel like on your first entry to when to do it, what to bring and what happens after it’s all over and done, here’s everything you need to know about losing your virginity.

Here’s a fun fact about virginity that you probably didn’t know: It’s not real. “It’s most important to understand that virginity is a social construct and nothing more,” Anne Hodder, certified sex educator explains.

“There is no medical or scientific definition of virginity. Some cultures believe that ‘virginity’ means penis-in-vagina sex, which causes some people to believe that other kinds of sex simply don’t count. But that’s not the case for everyone — we get to define what we consider ‘sex’ to be and treat our sexual desire and sex lives accordingly.” Because really, if you’ve given a woman an orgasm using just your mouth or hands, it should count for something, right?

The fact that the term “virginity” is up for interpretation has definitely caused some confusion over the years – especially where oral sex is concerned. It has also managed to work its way into a few iconic films (if you’re a male virgin who has never seen the movie American Pie, there’s no time like the present.) But as far as the majority of society defines it, in order to for a man to lose his virginity as a heterosexual guy, he would need to penetrate a vagina with his dick.

Before we start taking a look at v-card statistics around the world, let’s get one thing straight:

the best age to lose your virginity is whatever age you feel ready – whether that’s 13, 14, 15, 22, 25 or beyond. “What matters is that you’re choosing to do it because you want it, not because you feel you ‘should’,” Hodder says.

“And of course, you must have enthusiastic affirmative consent from our partner to assure you’re both on the same page.”

But if you’re still curious about how old the rest of the folks around the globe are when they first do the deed, here’s an overview.

“In the U.S., the average age for a man to lose his virginity varies from 17.1 to 18 depending on which study one goes by,” says self-development educator Tony Naemi.

“This age makes sense, as the age of consent is 18 in most states. The U.S. ranked 24th out of 44 countries that were surveyed about this topic, with Malaysian men having sex on average later in life at an average age of 23 and Iceland being the youngest at an average age of 15.6.”

If that number surprises you, you’re not alone. “Often, we believe that people around us are having a lot more sex than they actually are,” says Hodder, “and sometimes these social pressures can influence our decisions. Sex is tough to navigate – especially if you haven’t had much sexual experience – but there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Having sex for the first time certainly, differs from country to country mostly as a result of cultural or religious value systems more so than simple geography.”

As far as what your first time will be like, it can really run the gamut. “It depends on a variety of factors,” says Naemi, “such as nerves, who your partner is, your familiarity with each other, your sexual desire, her sexual experience and desire, and where you’re having sex at – her house, your house, a friend’s apartment, club house, road side, etc..”

Even though women typically experience more pain than men when losing their virginity, Naemi says it can happen to guys as well. “There might be some soreness depending on the tightness of your partner, the length of sex, and having worn a condom,” he says. However, with a few preventative measures (which we’ll get to), you’ll be able to avoid most of the factors that would potentially cause pain.

What will your body feel like afterward? Likely, pretty awesome, since there are plenty of post-coitus endorphins that going to be running through your body. But as far as physical changes go, your penis will be the same as it was before you had sex. But according to Hodder, you’ll probably stand a little taller, psychologically speaking. “Some men might feel a sense of ‘matureness’ after having sex for the first time,” she says, “because sex is so often associated with being a ‘man.’ That, of course, is simply a social construct and the amount of sex someone is having has no effect on one’s gender identity.”

Before we get to the action, there are a few questions you should ask yourself beforehand to know if you’re ready. A few Hodder recommends kicking things off with: “Why am I doing this? Am I trying to prove something to myself or someone else?”

“It might also help to ask yourself how you feel about the person you might be having sex with for the first time and if your intentions for the experience are coming from a genuine place,” says Hodder, “not influenced by any social pressures we might be feeling.”

Also, because this experience is going to stick with you for the rest of your days, Naemi suggests taking a hard look at who you’re deciding to do it with. “Ask yourself: Is this the person I want to remember for the rest of my life as having given my virginity to?’ If the answer is no, then don’t have sex with that person – Naemi.

Even if you’ve already been through “Health 101” in high school, Hodder also says to make sure you’re protecting yourself against sexually transmitted infections, aka STIs — especially if your partner isn’t a virgin. “Risk management is essential when you choose to have sex,” says Hodder.

“It takes only one act of sex to transmit an STI or, if you’re having penis-in-vagina sex, to cause an unintended pregnancy, so it’s important for both partners to know their status (get tested!) and use a barrier method to reduce the risk. Fortunately, condoms are super easy to get; you can buy them almost anywhere, and if you’re hard up for cash, health care offices like Planned Parenthood often provide condoms free of charge with no questions asked.”

Also, make sure you know how to put a condom on the right way before you have sex for the first time. “Anticipating putting on a condom in the heat of the moment can build a load of anxiety that can get in the way and risk mistakes being made,” Hodder says.

“I suggest men and women go through the steps of opening and putting on various barrier methods in the comfort of their rooms or homes and get the kinks out ahead of time so that, when the time ultimately comes, using these safer sex methods can feel like old hat.” A little lube can go a long way in helping this process (and keeping your penis pain free afterward). Put a drop in the condom before you slip it on, and if things start to get dry while you’re doing the deed, don’t be shy about using more to help keep things moving smoothly.

How well your first time goes really depends on whether or not you and your partner are on the same page as far as your expectations — so make sure you have a conversation about it beforehand (and preferably not right before you’re about to do it, when nerves are high). “Talk with your partner way ahead of time, before any clothes are even close to coming off, to see if you’re both on the same page about what you want, what you like (and what you don’t), and how you’re feeling about it – Hodder.

“Often, the fear or anxiety about having sex for the first time can make the whole experience feel a lot more nerve-wracking that it needs to be. It can help you feel even more connected with your partner to share how you’re feeling – because chances are, you’re both feeling something similar, and sharing about it can help build an even stronger intimate connection.”

In terms of the positioning of the actual act, you need to be able to walk before you can run. Instead of trying to finagle both your bodies into difficult positions, sexologist Dr. Megan Stubbs recommends starting with the basics. “The missionary position is a classic for a reason,” she says.

“In this position, the guy is able to control the depth and the thrusting, finding a pace and speed that works for them. If he has a partner who is willing to be on top, this can be a more passive position and allow them to let someone else take control.”

According to a study done by the Kinsey Institute, the difference between the average age that men and women lose their virginity in the U.S. isn’t that far off — 17.4 for females, and 16.9 for males.

As with male virginity, what technically constitutes the loss of a woman’s virginity has often been misconstrued — from using tampons to dildos and even getting fingered. “The simple act of putting something in our vagina does not equal sex,” says Hodder.

“Using a tampon is a necessary part of many menstruating people’s lives and has nothing to do with sexual pleasure and everything to do with managing menstrual flow. Self-stimulating with a dildo (or any other object) while masturbating is a common and healthy way to learn about our own sexual desires and is absolutely not the same experience as engaging in sexual intercourse with another person.”

Even though men and women tend to lose it around the same age, changes in the female body after having sex for the first time are very different, and can sometimes (but not always) include bleeding…Some women may experience spotting, most often the result of friction from lack of lubrication – Hodder.

You may have heard the term “popping her cherry” thrown around in reference to a woman’s first time, which refers to a woman’s hymen. “Most hymens cover only a portion of the vagina, almost forming a ring around its opening, which allows passage of tampons, penises, sex toys or other objects,” Hodder explains.

“Tearing, ripping or other scary verbs do not usually happen to the hymen during first time P in the V sex. Hymens can stretch to accommodate whatever’s being inserted, and many women’s hymens actually stay intact long-term, regardless of how much sex they have. And while it’s still possible to tear them, many hymens actually heal, and tears often happen naturally during everyday life.”

The first time my penis penetrated a vagina, it felt unlike anything I had ever felt before in my entire life—to an incomparable degree – Ray, 29. Nothing else felt even remotely similar (and I say this having previously had my dick inside a freshly baked pie, the hose of a vacuum cleaner and several women’s mouths). I can’t verbally describe exactly what it felt like.

“I’d say warm and wet, but that doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. It felt amazing in a unique way that I immediately knew I could never properly replicate in any artificial way. And I suppose that’s the way it should be. The feeling of my penis inside of a woman was, is, and always will be the pinnacle of physical stimulation for me.”

“I dated a girl all through high school who was one of those, ‘I’m religious so we can’t have actual sex, but we can do everything else under the sun’ girls,” says Murray, 26.

“We broke up like a week before college. My first week there I became freshman class president and had to make some stupid little speech at the University. When it was over some senior girl who was watching came up to me and asked me what I was doing that afternoon. I said ‘nothing,’ and she said, ‘Okay come hangout in my room with me.’ My naive ass had no idea. We get to her room and I’m just sitting on her bed with her watching TV.

She gets up and walks into her bathroom and comes out completely naked. Gets on top of me and says, ‘What do you want to do?’ I then proceeded to make some joke about playing hockey. She then pretty much ripped my clothes off and held me down until she got off, thanked me, and then literally never talked to me again. It was awkward because she pretty much used me like a dildo. It went on for about 10 minutes and I didn’t even finish.”

May 15, 2017
Beauty making is like forest – Expert

For Josephine Emmanuels, beauty making is like a forest. The skin therapist and CEO of Beauty Forest has revealed the secrets behind beauty at large. In this interview with FAMUYIWA DAMILARE, she discussed how inner beauty reflects on the outside.

As a beauty therapist, what does beauty mean to you?

Beauty means a lot of things to me, but I love telling a lot of people that beauty starts from inside not outside. Your take-in reflects on your body, so if you really don’t take care of yourself, there is nothing called beauty.

You can apply lots of makeup and use so many natural organic products, but if you don’t eat quality things, all the organic products won’t work effectively. So beauty starts from inside out, and it is what you take inside that will reflect on your outward appearance.

What actually motivated you into this business line?

Well, I have been a beauty person since I was in secondary school. I can plait hair and also barb it at the same time. So, it’s like passion to me, it’s what I can do for free. I’m not money conscious about it, I do so many things, but talking about beauty, it is what I enjoy doing. I see it as a calling I have to fulfil and I feel good doing it.

How do you come up with the concept of Beauty Forest?

As a woman, I love it when I go to a particular spot and get everything I want in that spot. I hate it when I go to a salon and I have to go to another salon to get my nails done, also to another place to do my make-up. That was how and why I came up with Beauty Forest.

Aside from being a skin therapist, I’m also a stylist and I’m into bridals too, I do pedicure, manicure and I’m also a make-up artist. So, that is how I came up with the name ‘Beauty Forest’. My place is a place where you can come and get everything, it’s just like when you go to a forest, you will see many trees. As many trees make a forest when you come to my own place, you get to see many things and you will be satisfied.

Talking about Bobrisky, how will you compare yourself and other household names in this business?

Like what I usually tell people every day, the real ones will stand and the fake ones will fall off. When you go on the internet, you will see lots of skin therapist, they are everywhere, lots of adverts. So, talking about the competition in the market, well, what I will say in terms of Bobrisky is that, seeing is believing. If you see some skin therapist, I assure you that you will run away, many people call me that they want to see me, and I always tell them to feel free to come, so when they see me, they will have to check me out first and when they see my skin is looking so healthy, not totally white like some kind of a bleached chemical skin. When they see I have this natural organic glowing skin and with that, I think they are convinced that this person is okay. So that is my own area of where I can compete with them. I’m pretty sure some skin therapist can’t come out and show themselves.

There was a trending picture of Bobrisky on the Instagram with rashes on his face, what will you say concerning that?

Yes, I think I saw the picture, but not just him. I know lots of skin therapist in this Lagos, if you see them, you will run away, even people that go to their stores to get stuff, calls and be like “my skin has been damaged.” why won’t they damage your skin, after seeing how the skin of therapist herself looks like and you decided to trust your skin with that person.

May 3, 2017
How to handle sudden change in relationship

DEAR Harriet, I really love your counsel on life and relationships issues.

I am a hard-working young man trying to make a living and plan for a better future. I am in a relationship of one year old at the moment. My partner and I have been living together peacefully until we were faced with financial challenges which caused us to move to a place closer to her relatives.

I discovered that living not too far from her family members has brought more harm than good to our relationship. She has changed a lot towards me to the extent that when I was critically ill, she showed no concern at all.

I have left our new place to stay with my friends who are very supportive.

Please, Harriet, what steps should I take at this point in time.

Thanks.

Joseph Laboard,

Delta State.

Thanks for sharing your problem with us. Sudden change of attitude from a loved one can be devastating physically and emotionally. Therefore, seeking counsel on how to deal with the situation is high commendable.

However, in your case, it would have been proper, if she could state her own version of the situation for us to have a clearer picture. Since you are the one needing advice on what to do, it will be treated as such.

Before giving some useful tips on how to deal with your present situation, it will be proper for us to try and trace the cause of her action. People react to situation differently, so a change of attitude simple shows that there is a problem somehow that needs to be addressed.

So the question is what could be the cause. First step is to try and find out, if there was an unresolved issue unknown to you that could have led to her sudden change of attitude or is it that she has been pressurized or influenced by her family about the relationship.

Were the signs always there and you failed to pay attention to them until now. For her not to show concern towards your health when you were sick speaks volume. Could it be that she is no longer interested in the relationship any more for reasons best known to her.

Sometimes in a relationship, you might think your partner or spouse is happy with the happenings or is on the same page as you, while in the real sense, it may not be the case.

Now, here are some helpful tips to assist you on how to deal with the situation. Issues are not solved by assumption. Therefore, you need to confront the situation in a friendly manner. What to do?

You might have to take her out for a meal away from the house to a more relaxed and neutral ground in order to discuss the issue in detail and how it is affecting you and the relationship.

Effective interaction is very important in a relationship because through communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, you can convey your thoughts, feelings and it will also help you understand your partner. Note, you can only know what is going on with your partner or spouse by talking, not by assumption.

In respective of the category you belong in terms of confronting issues, you will have to talk about it. It will interest you to know that to some people discussing matters of the heart don’t come easy, while for others, talking about feelings and emotions might not be pleasant and comfortable.

In dealing with sudden change of attitude, it is very important to talk with the person involved directly. The reason is that it will provide you with a better information in understanding the reason behind her orhis action.

Bear in mind that you are no mind reader so the only way for you to know the intension of a person is actually by talking with the person. However, if you have difficulty communicating, then seek a professional counselling together before you take further action.

It is easier sometimes to talk to a stranger than to relatives or friends. During talking therapy, the trained counsellor will listen to you, and help you find your own answers to problems without judging you. The counsellor will give you time to talk, cry, shout, or think.

It is an opportunity to look at your problems in a different perspective with someone who will respect and encourage your opinions and the decision you make. This would help you to gain some clarity and give you an idea of where the relationship is at, where it is going and if possible changes that have to be made.

Moreover, understand that you can only work on changing yourself to be able to accommodate your partner or spouse’s strength and weaknesses, not you partner or spouse as the case may be. However, if she refuses to go with you, then she wouldn’t benefit from therapy.

A person needs first to admit that there’s something wrong and be willing to work on it, for therapy to stand a chance. Next is self-evaluation. On your part, it is necessary you check yourself because sometimes we just don’t realize how our words or actions are perceived.

Note, often times, the people around us, including our loved ones, won’t even tell us. In some cases, they don’t know how to articulate it, and other times, they give us passiveaggressive or silent treatment just to make us uncomfortable and to punish us for being insensitive.

Furthermore, acceptance in matters that affect the heart is vital. Whatever explanation she gives should be accepted. It might not be what you want to hear. If she tells you in the process of conversation or you trying to make things work that she doesn’t feel the same way, listen, respect her decision and move on.

It might not be easy. You will be emotionally traumatise, but you will definitely find healing with time. It is better for you to have a broken heart that can be taken care of with time than for you to have a broken marriage in future in case you decide to marry her.

It takes two people who are in love to have a successful relationship defeating every odd together.

Take care of yourself and each other.

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

March 18, 2017
Five reasons online dating might not be such a good idea
For Ladies Only

Only yesterday, I got a funny call from a guy I have never met. He said that he got my number online and would like us to date. Unfortunately (for him) I am married (and happily too), putting an end to that request. That got me thinking about a topic that keeps popping in and out of my head and sometimes comes up in conversations. Is really a good idea to go online, primarily for dating purposes? With all the people we meet at school, at work, church/mosque, in the bus and so on, is it really that hard to meet new people? I wonder, if a person can’t meet new people any other way, I hope he/she has nothing to hide. You can call me old-school if you like, but the idea of someone I have never set my eyes on calling me out of the blues to ask for a date gives me the creeps. Why? Please continue reading.
1. Online interaction, or friendship blinds one to a fact we grew up hearing our mothers drill into our young minds, “A stranger is someone who is capable of harming you.” We equate acquaintance or any form of interaction with friendship, and it’s a big mistake. Most of our friends are people we grew up with, went to school with, colleagues, former colleagues and so on. This traditional method means that you know people who know your friend, and have an idea of the kind of person you are dealing with. But with online friends, you are dealing with a totally unknown entity.
1. In today’s fast paced, high tech world, meeting strange people online can be very risky. Think back to Cynthia, the Nigerian babe who was kidnapped, and later murdered by a guy she met online, and flew in to Lagos to meet. The poor girl had no idea that she was dealing with a fraudster, and murderer. The internet has become a free and easy highway for psychopaths and criminals to operate virtually without trace, especially in a porous environment like ours.
1. Online dating is unnatural because a major part of human communication is not only verbal communication (speech), but also includes things like tone of voice, body language and the like. Women are created with a natural sense of intuition that often protects us (and our loved ones) from danger, but dealing with someone without face-to-face , and other physical forms of interaction makes it harder to be intuitive. Online communication lacks this feature and makes it difficult, if not impossible to make value judgments for ourselves about the person you are dealing with.
1. It is hard to verify, ie do a background check on the person you are chatting with. In foreign climes, people are often warned, and given guidelines about dealing with strangers they meet online. Sometimes, as human beings our emotions blind us from seeing the truth before our very eyes, but with the evidence of other people, eyes are opened to the truth. For instance, in a regular relationship, a lady’s visit to a guy’s office, or home can lead to chance meeting with his friend who can inadvertently drop the truth that the guy is married yet conveniently forgot to tell his girlfriend, online relationships don’t accord nearly as much opportunity.
1. Many people have been found to give false information about themselves, some use photos of other people, and sometimes build false profile info. It is hard to continually lie to a person you see over a period of time without making a mistake, telling a mismatched lie and so on, even the body language of a liar can trigger suspicion in the person being lied to. With online communication, it is much harder to tell, sometimes, almost until it is too late.
Having said all the foregoing, I must agree that quite a number of relationships have been spawned by the internet, and led to marriage, but then again, it is still important to take care.
March 11, 2017