The Nation Newspaper

Category: Weekend Treat

Why I’m being persecuted by PenCom, by Duru

A former two-term House of Representatives member and Vice Chairman of First Guarantee Pension Limited (FGPL), Nze Chidi Duru, was recently detained by the police for almost a week on the instruction of the National Pension Commission. In this interview with ADEKUNLE YUSUF, he chronicles his ordeals over his running battles with the National Pension Commission, which took over FGPL six years ago in disobedience to a court ruling.

It has to do with the ownership of a company, First Guarantee Pension Limited (FGPL) That I founded in 2004. I promoted it and then invited shareholders to invest in it. On the January 4, 2017, I received through my solicitor a copy of a letter written by the Attorney-General of the Federation and Justice Minister to the director-general of the National Pension Commission, restating the position of the ministry that there are two prior letters of August 17, 2011 and September 8, 2011; that it stands by the content of those letters and reprimanding the National Pension Commission for consistently disobeying orders of the court, and requesting the director-general to immediately comply with the relevant judgments of the court. It will interest you to note that in his capacity, the Minister of Justice is not just acting as the Chief Law Officer of Nigeria, he is also a party in the suit, which we sued the National Pension Commission in 2011.

In December last year, we received a communication from the office of the Inspector-General of Police (IGP) following my request as the Vice Chairman of First Guarantee Pension Ltd to immediately deploy men and materials to protect the premises of FGPL in Abuja and Lagos where we have offices. Upon the deployment of the men from the Lagos Command and the signal sent to Area F to carry out the IGP, I visited the office of the FGPL at Oregun, Lagos. That was my first time of going to the office in the last six years, because what we’ve had in the last six years is the imposition of staff of the National Pension Commission on the office of FGPL in clear disregard and disobedience of a court order and judgment of Justice Okorowo of Abuja Federal High Court.

So, it was my first time of venturing into the office in the last six years. Immediately I entered, the three impostors who are staff of the National Pension Commission imposed on FGPL quickly exited the office on sighting me, and were nowhere to be found. At 1:20pm, I went out for lunch and when I got back, what then happened was that at about 5:20pm, I saw two well-dressed police officers who informed me and my colleagues who were with me that they had been sent by the Commissioner of Police, Lagos State. They said they received an alert that the premises of FGPL was being invaded by hoodlums and thugs who had done everything possible to beat up members of staff and take over the premises of FGPL. And that they had a clear directive from their superior to seal up the premises. It was an alarm for me. Second, it was a bit of disappointment because it was the same Commissioner of Police that had deployed men from Area F to have an active patrol around the premises of the company. More so, before the deployment of men from the Area F, the Lagos Command had done the surveillance of the premises of FGPL and found out that there are two officers of the Nigeria Police that have been constantly present in the premises of FGPL in the last five years. So, if there has been a question of invasion of hoodlums or thugs taking over FGPL, I would believe that these officers of the Nigeria Police would be the ones to alert the Commissioner of Police to the development, or alert the nearby police station for subsequent action to be taken.

But being a law abiding citizen, I offered at their request to go with them to see the Commissioner of Police; more particularly on the need not to seal up the FGPL, because at this time, the workers had closed for the day, and it would not be nice that the office would not open when the workers resume the next day. They would not be able to gain access to the premises, nor be able to attend to the public. I went with the police officer to the office of the Commissioner of Police. To my greatest surprise, I met those three workers of the National Pension Commission right there. Those were the three people who had earlier exited the office on my arrival. And in addition to that, I also saw six other staffs of the National Pension Commission in attendance at the office of the commissioner, making a total of nine employees of the National Pension Commission. The police chief addressed us and repeated that the office of the FGPL remains sealed and that he would not have the time to attend to us because time was far gone and that we should report back the next day at 10am.

I told him that that was a decision I would not expect a commissioner of police to take lightly; because as a lawyer, I am well informed within my rights. The commissioner has no right to seal up the premises of any company without first and foremost obtaining a court order. That, I felt, was a very irresponsible decision for the commissioner to make. And based on my strong protest, he conceded. He instructed subordinates that they should go and unseal the office and he further restated that we should come back at 10am the next day for a meeting. I told him there and then that I have gone through the cycle before and I hope that was not another tactic to remove us from the premises of FGPL in order to grant access to the impostors from the National Pension Commission. He said: “No, not at all,” that he was there to mediate and maintain law and order. The next morning, I was at the commissioner’s office exactly five minutes to 10am; and going by the tradition of impunity on the part of National Pension Commission, we received information its workers had resumed at the office of FGPL as at 8am on January 13, 2017. I complained to the Deputy Commissioner of Police (DCP), who advised that I should take my complaint to the commissioner, who arrived at his office by 10:45am. The commissioner could not see us until 12pm. At the meeting, which turned out to be a charade; the commissioner simply informed us that he had a clear directive and instruction from the AIG in Zone 2 to transfer the case file to his office, and that the AIG has assumed responsibility over the matter. And I could again see the handwriting on the wall that they have deployed the usual tactics of impunity, their usual tactics of disregard for rule of law and constituted authority and have again employed the act of intimidation to ensure that they gain their way through the back door process into FGPL.

Being a law-abiding citizen, I expected the commissioner to be sufficiently upset and angry that, despite his words the previous day, the same nine National Pension Commission officers resumed at FGPL. When I informed him that the impostors from National Pension Commission have resumed in the office of FGPL, it didn’t cut any ice with the commissioner. That was how the nine of us went to the AIG’s office, including my company secretary, two other friends of mine who came to the police station and myself.

A twist at AIG Zone II’s office

The moment we entered the office of AIG Zone 2, it became very obvious that this was no longer a kid’s play because the hands of the clock had turned full circle. The AIG refused to see me or anybody that had anything to do with me, including my lawyers. But he granted audience to the National Pension Commission workers who were imposed FGPL in the last six years and six other persons who had joined them. Later, we advised to see the DC Zone 2. When we went in to see him, we were now told that the matter would be handled by Assistant Commissioner (AC) Zone 2. By the time we went to the office of the AC, the number of National Pension Commission’s workers had risen from nine to 13. By the time we were to enter the office of the AC, there was no place for us to sit. The AC said he was going to mediate in the matter. How could it be possible for the police to mediate in a matter that the court had given a decision, a clear judgment in? How could it possible for the police to mediate in a matter that the Attorney-General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria had considered and had very recently, with his letter dated January 4, 2017, given an opinion on the matter? And how could it, more importantly, be possible for the police to mediate in a matter where Justice G.O. Kolawole in his well-considered ruling of February 6, 2013, and November 10, 2016, had restrained the Nigeria Police from getting involved, inviting me, arresting me or interrogating me on any matter that has to do with First Guarantee Pension Ltd, particularly with respect to the target examination report on the basis of which the three imposters had been appointed into the First Guarantee Pension Ltd? These statements of mine did not cut an ice with the police; because my secretary had overheard that the National Pension Commission had ‘allegedly’ settled the police.

Obviously, there had been a pre-determined plan and the matter began to play itself out speedily. They invited the OC Legal, who called us out and began to ask us to make a statement. I asked the OC Legal, is there a petition against me on the basis of which I can read the petition to be able to make a statement? He said No, there’s no petition against me other than I should just make a statement and an IPO will investigate the matter. And one interesting thing that happened was that immediately thereafter, they took away my phone and that of my legal adviser, Smart Iheazor, but the 13 workers of the National Pension Commission retained their phones. At this time, it was between 2:30pm and 3pm, we began the process of dilly-dallying. They would call me to go to this office and go to that office. The long and short of it is that I was told to make a statement in respect of who I am, my relationship with FGPL and why I visited the office. The same question was put across to my legal adviser, who was separated in a different room. It wasn’t until about 7:30pm that I was informed by the IPO that I am a suspect and that I have been detained for armed robbery, stealing, conspiracy to commit felony and potentially also for murder!

I was then handed over to the guardroom. From the guardroom office, I was transferred to a cell without access to my family, my lawyer, and my medication. The next day, at about 10:30am, I was brought out; they continued with their interrogation that the day I visited FGPL, one of the parties that went with me made away with a laptop and three office files. And my statement was very clear: it is impossible for me or any of my friends who visited the premises to make away with any property of FGPL. First and foremost, FGPL is owned by me, founded by me, and that it is impossible for an owner to steal his property – either a computer, or files or a car key they said is missing. They then asked another question, why am I presenting myself as FGPL chairman and I repeated that I am the founder, owner and largest shareholder in FGPL with an investment of over N250 million. Therefore, it is impossible for me to do anything that is against the law. I repeated my advice to them that the step they are taking is against the order and judgment of a number of courts in Nigeria.

Police conducted a search on his hotel room

At around 12:30pm of the same day, the OC Legal and one of his operatives drove me to the Southern Sun Hotel in Ikoyi, where I was staying to search my room. After that, a statement was made that there’s no material whatsoever – whether a laptop, file or document of FGPL found in the hotel where I was staying before the detention. I signed off, and they also signed off. About 3:30pm, I informed them that my medical condition was worsening because as at that time, I still have not had access to my drugs, my phones or my lawyers. I told them I needed to see a doctor urgently. I was assured as at 3:30pm I would be released on bail and that I would go home shortly. A bail application was prepared by my lawyer, which I signed, the IPO signed and the OC Legal informed me that I have been released and signed off. But he said to me that it required the signoff of the ACP, DCP and the AIG. The AIG had now told my lawyer that on my way out, he would like to see me. Later around 6:20pm, when the matter was dragging, the DC after a lot of persuasion, informed me that there’s a contrary instruction he just received from the AIG that I should not be released, that I should further be detained till Monday. By then, the IPO and OC Legal had noticed that I was throwing up in the premises, because there’s no medical facility in the cell. Fearing for their irresponsible act, and the consequences of what could happen if per chance I passed out in their cell, they quickly rushed me to the Police Hospital on Bourdillon Street, where I was under custody and protection of the police from Friday evening till Monday, January 16, 2017 in the emergency ward. I was to be referred to Ikeja because of my leg condition for medical observation, but the AC was detailed by the AIG to ensure that I was forcefully brought to the Magistrate’s Court. When the AC came, it was clear to him that I was not fit to appear before the court, but he insisted and literally took away the drip that was placed on me and I was taken to court in my night dress.

At the court and other trials

I was forcefully taken from the hospital to the court that day, Monday, January 16, 2017. The judge was hesitant to call our case; it was clear to the judge that I was not fit to take my plea and he said it in his opening statement that the man he is seeing is not medically fit to undertake an arraignment, but my lawyer insisted that he would take my plea and assured the judge he would do so for me to properly go and attend to my health. I was arraigned no longer for armed robbery, murder or conspiracy to commit felony but for theft, with a person now at large, of a laptop worth N350, 000. I was arraigned for stealing a file of FGPL, for holding out myself as FGPL chairman and an attempt to forcefully take over the promises of FGPL. This is consistent with the pattern of the director-general of the National Pension Commission, Mrs Chinelo Anohu-Amazu, who has sworn that over her dead body would she hand over FGPL back to the owner and founder of the company.

It has been consistent because at her instigation, on January 29, 2013, the then IGP Abubakar, through the instrument of IG monitoring, declared me wanted and published my name in all the police posts in Abuja; again for stealing and conspiracy to commit felony. I approached Justice Kolawole on February 6, 2013. Justice Kolawole, under my fundamental human rights enforcement, restrained the police and their agencies from dabbling into the matter of FGPL, from arresting, or detaining me with respect to this matter. But in total disregard to the order, in total disregard to the substantive judgment of another judge, Justice D.U. Okorowo, that had nullified the special target report that Mrs. Chinelo as the Company Secretary then of the National Pension Commission had advised the commission to author and begin to implement. The police charged me before the Magistrate’s Court II in Abuja, and that was on March 2, 2013 without letting me know. Unknown to them, my lawyers found out where I had been charged; we entered an appearance and on March 28, 2013, the magistrate quashed that charge. And in an open court, in a loud voice, the magistrate shouted and it is written in his rule that: “This is an act of impunity that should not happen in a democratic environment as Nigeria, where the rule of law should be seen as a sine qua non, and that he feels so saddened that the agency of government that should actually be the officer and agency that should be implementing the judgment of the court is the agency that is bringing a beneficiary of the judgment of the court before his court for an act that could translate into impunity.” He quashed the charge; it did not stop the police.

Stay of execution order

Mrs. Anohu-Amazu has continued to make heavy weight of the statement of a purported stay of the judgment of Justice Okorowo by Justice Kolowale. It is important for me to now address this legal abracadabra. Upon the delivery of the judgment of Justice Okorowo on the 18th of July 2012, Pencom, on the advice of Mrs. Anohu-Amazu (then Company Secretary/Legal Adviser of Pencom before her elevation as acting director-general and substantive DG), approached the court of Justice Kolawole, then a vacation judge, to stay on a motion ex-parte the judgment of Justice Okorowo. As the case is ex-parte without hearing the parties to the suit, Justice Kolawale granted her prayer with a caveat as follows: “That in view of the fact that my vacation schedule will end on the 10/8/2012, the consideration of the 1st respondents (Pencom) motion on notice dated 26/7/12 shall be taken before the Hon Justice G.K. Olotu who is due to resume as vacation judge with effect from 13/8/12.” We immediately filed our brief of argument on August 3, 2013 against this questionable ex-parte order, which in any case, had a lifespan of just 14 days. PenCom immediately abandoned its motion on notice to be heard by Justice Olotu and instead appealed the judgment. It consequently filed a motion on notice for stay on the September 12, 2012, which it also abandoned knowing the practice directive of the Supreme Court that a judgment of the court cannot be stayed.

Justice Okorowo issued an order restraining PenCom from implementing the target report on August 11, 2011, and in clear disobedience of the court order, PenCom, acting under the legal advice of its then company secretary, acted otherwise and inter alia removed FGPL directors and appointed an interim management on August 12, 2011. On August 17, 2011, the then AGF and Minister of Justice, Mohammed Adoke (SAN) wrote a letter requesting PenCom to obey the Court Order. In paragraph 5, it stated as follows: “I have carefully reviewed the said court order and it is my considered opinion that the decision and action of PenCom complained about are clearly in violation of the order, which is capable of exposing the government particularly the Honourale Attorney-General of the Federation, who is the 2nd Respondent in order, to unnecessary criticism and embarrassment.”

Notwithstanding the above court order and the clear directive of the AGF, PenCom has continued to undermine the authority of the court. Finally Justice Okorowo, on July 18, 2012, in a 126-page final judgment, upbraided PenCom for acting in a matter in clear contempt of the order of the court. It stated in page 119 to wit: “On 11th August, 2011, the court made an Interim Order which is in issue. The Court Order was served on the 1st respondent (Pencom) on 12th August 2011. Despite the knowledge of the order of court and the service of the processes of this court, the 1st respondent went ahead to deal with the subject matter of the case, interfering with the powers of this Court to decide the issues in the action.”

Undercurrents behind the impasse

I would start from the beginning. For me, it was a matter that I actually could not have wanted to bring to the public domain. I can only say that I should think that the problem of FGPL began in 2010, when we paid our first dividend. The DG of National Pension Commission, approached me (then as company secretary/legal adviser to National Pension Commission), and requested that I assign to her five per cent of the shareholding in FGPL. For me and until very recently, I thought that was a friendly joke; I could not consider it seriously and that was the beginning of the problem. And immediately after that, our then Managing Director, Wilson Ideva, began to act in a manner that was disrespectful of the FGPL Board of Directors and that led to our requesting him to resign. And what is interesting is that the same person we asked to resign from the company immediately resumed work as the Managing Director of Premium Pension Ltd, where Mrs. Anohu-Amazu’s family has substantial interests in, and he is still there currently. It shows you the link of what has happened. He was encouraged to disobey the Board of FGPL, where he was fired, and then he was picked up by them as a matter of protection. Mrs. Anohu-Amazu again, encouraged the National Pension Commission to write what they considered to be a special target report on the FGPL.

Section 82 of the Pension Reform Act did say: “If for any reason, PenCom, in the annual report conduct its report or examination of a PFA or Pension Fund Custodian, PenCom would then have to submit that report to the board of the PFA or the board of PFC. The board of PFC will now, upon receipt of that report, call an extraordinary general meeting of the shareholders of the company to consider the report. The decision of the board of the shareholders is then communicated to the Pencom. Now, Mrs Anohu-Amazu, realising that I am the largest single shareholder of the company and that the majority of the shareholders of the company reposed confidence in the board, refused to follow these steps. Instead, what they did was to ask us to resign as board members. Immediately, we went to court and on August 11, 2011, Justice Okorowo issued an ex-parte order restraining them from implementing the special target report, pending the determination of the substantive suit. But despite that order of the court, they disregarded it, dissolved our board and appointed deployed National Pension Commission’s employees into FGPL.

She has been running FGPL with PenCom employees in the last six years; and because of the recklessness and the fraud they have perpetrated in the place, they would not allow us toe return, unless compelled to leave the company for its rightful owners. That is why they are employing impunity, but I am very confident that she could do this under the immediate past administration; she will not succeed under the prevailing dispensation. It is impossible for her to continue with this level of impunity. FGPL is my baby; I founded it and envisioned it. That is why it is the only PFA that is founded by an individual, not by institution; the other PFAs are owned by insurance companies or banks, asset managers and stockbroking firms among others. FGPL is driven by an individual and it can only be my hard work that FGPL is a success. And despite all the intimidations and impunity, I am still committed to realizing the dream and vision for which FGPL was founded.

One of our shareholders, George Ozodinobi, who used to collaborate with Mrs. Anohu-Amazu until he found out her clear intentions, has variously stated that the clear intention of the PenCom chief was to transfer FGPL asset to her mother’s PFA which is a clear sense of conflict of interest and an irresponsible act. Any wonder that that FGPL had not held any AGM/EGM in the last five years and is currently carrying a tax liability of over N1.3 billion. All the efforts to incident a crime in a purely commercial transaction is just her way of getting back at me for refusing to accede to her request of taking over FGPL. I am not surprised that this could happen, given her penchance for lawlessness. I sit on the boards of over eight companies providing employment to over 1,000 Nigerians and expatriates and in none of these companies has my honour been questioned nor my integrity in doubt. And to be put through this in a company that I invested over N250 million shows her desperation to put me away. I want Nigerians to know just before I die, that should anything happen to me, the persons to hold responsible are no other than Mrs. Anohu-Amazu and Kassim Ibrahim Imam.

His final take and next line of action

In keeping with her tradition of impunity, the PenCom director-general will expect that we back down and allow her to continue to run FGPL. And I think that is a fundamental mistake on her part. It is with regret that I would say that the National Pension Commission that we envisioned, when I worked very hard to promote the pension industry in Nigeria, is not the same we wanted in 2004 when Fola Adeola was the chairman of that Commission. I believe that a regulator cannot at the same time be an operator in the same industry. There is bound to be conflict of interests. It is on that note that I insist that the National Pension Commission’s interim measure has outlived its objective. The arbitrary takeover of FGPL, which they claimed was on an interim measure, has now appeared to be a permanent measure. An interim measure will not last more than three months, but this has lasted six years, if you take it to March 22 of this year because their invasion of FGPL happened March 22, 2011. It is regrettable that this has happened; it is regrettable that we have national commission director-general that has not risen to the occasion to determine that it is not in any position to manage anybody’s business and does not care about the impact and consequences of what is going on in FGPL in the industry.

Rather than focus on what is important – where to invest the assets of pension industry and to ensure that the rate of returns is sufficient in a country like Nigeria to keep pace with inflationary trend – the PenCom DG is focusing on how to take over FGPL to ensure that the rightful owner, the founder and the promoter and largest shareholder of the business does not take benefits from the investment he has done. Her focus is to ensure that by hook or crook, Nze Chidi Duru goes to jail. But we are in a democracy, in a government of rule of law; a government that is different from the government of the past. For me, all the acts of impunity that have happened with regards to FGPL are a damning report on the national commission that she leads. I believe that by this singular act, Mrs. Chinelu Anohu-Amazu is not fit to continue to be the Director-General of the National Pension Commission. She believes and behaves as if she is god; but I know she is not greater than the living God.

As for the police and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), it is regrettable that they have lent themselves to the impunity of a lawless PenCom, an institution that has no respect for the rule of law. There are conflicts involved in all these; not just that there is a judgment of the court on this; but with respect to the filing of audited account of FGPL. According to CAMA (Companies and Allied Matters Act) Section 235, it’s mandatory that every company must file their report to Corporate Affairs Commission at the end of their business financial year. Our financial year has closed respectively over five times in the last five years – between 2011 and 2016 – and there is no filing of FGPL annual report before the CAC. More importantly, it is only when you file and auditors do their own part that the company would be assessed to pay their tax. What we found recently is that FGPL is carrying a fat liability of over N500 million. This is a fund that the government could have used to provide social services, infrastructure for the people, not to talk of Pay As You Earn (PAYE), or company tax available to Nigerians. So, FGPL, as it stands today, has a huge tax liability of close to N2 billion. And government is not accessing this fund simply because one person is standing the law on its head using impunity.

February 1, 2017
Why I had my coronation in a church –Osun monarch Oba Taiwo Thompson

The traditional ruler of Eti-Oni, Osun State, Oba Taiwo Oladokun Thompson, is a great-grandson of Thompson Gujere, the Ijesha warrior reputed for introducing the snider gun. The name of the famous Kiriji war was derived from the sound of his invention. His great-grandson, Dokun, who is the current traditional ruler of Eti-Oni, has also brought dynamism into community development via his pet project, Eti Oni Development Group and Cocoa Festival. In this interview with GBENGA ADERANTI, he talks about his plans to enhance the fortune of Eti-Oni inhabitants who have been famous for cocoa farming for more than 120 years. He also explains why white is his preferred colour, his attitude to polygamy, why his coronation rites were held in the church, his thoughts on Christianity, among other issues.

Do you feel fulfilled being a traditional ruler?

I don’t feel fulfilled right now. I’m fulfilling my assignment, my destiny and everything, because I am doing what I am supposed to do. My friend, the CEO of Eti Oni Development Group, always tells me that any time I change focus on Eti-Oni, a little bit of confusion comes in, but the minute I’m focused on Eti-Oni, things appear to move faster, I get the materials and resources I need to get to the next stage. That is fulfilling. That is reassuring as well. It gives you the confidence to know that you are on the right path.

I don’t think I will ever arrive at my bus stop. There can never be a bus stop because it is going to be a continuous process. We have a long term development plan which is based on 20 years, and it is in line with the United Nations 2030 sustainable development growth. For us as well, after 20 years, we will continue. We know that at some point, there is going to be a lot of pressure, a lot of challenges in terms of population explosion, and that the only solution to that is to ensure that we are able to replicate our solutions to other locations so that the urban cities that are suffering today will no longer suffer, the rural communities that are suffering will be equipped to take in that new population injection. So, there is a lot of synergy that is going to be required to create that sustainability and at the same time create that workable environment that will eventually put Africa where Africa is supposed to be.

If you were not made an Oba, what would you be doing?

In 2002, I ran for the House of Reps. I would have gone into politics full time. And the reason why I would go into politics is to look for a way of offering genuine service, sacrificial service, not service that is about self but service that is about people. That is what I am doing right now. That is the heritage that has been handed over to me, not just from my father but from my great grandfather to my father.

My great grandfather in Kiriji war was ready to die on the battle field rather than cede an inch of Ijeshaland. He brought his own army into the field. Initially, it was Ekiti Parapo War. But by the time he got into the war with his own army and his own gun called the snider rifle, the war’s name was changed to Kiriji, coming from the sound of snider rifles that were introduced into the war by Gureje Thompson. That is the type of heritage that has been handed to any Thompson. That is what we always pride ourselves in. It is never about us; it is about a nation at large. That is what makes true leadership.

You said your community has been planting cocoa for the past 120 years and now you want to take it to another level. What is that new thing you are planning to do?

After the war in 1886, Eti Oni was created. The first thing they did was to create an economic model that would sustain the community. They introduced cocoa into it. About 120 years after, cocoa has been all over the place but we are still where we were. So what do we do to get to the next stage? What are we in lack of? We are in lack of good housing. We are in lack of good health. We are in lack of good education. So the environment is poor. We need to address all these issues. We need to create models that will provide the social infrastructure that will provide us with the economic power that will make us develop.

But beyond all these things, we need people to develop. We need education at every level, from the kindergarten up to the older people. So we need to develop the people and we are looking at how we are going to be developing the people so that we can create a truly sustainable society that is for the future. They have to understand what the future is all about so that they can embrace that future. While we are developing them and we put models in place to generate income, we know they will appreciate it. They will understand what it is all about and they will participate.

They are already participating and they are already engaging us to bring more. But they don’t know that all these things are about money. Even when we talk about 10 to 20 years, they think what we want to achieve in 20 years, we can achieve in five years, because they have suffered a lot. Because the cocoa festival created a lot of succour and a lot of hope, and it came out to be what it is. The renaissance of cocoa production is where we are going into.

How regularly do you stay in the community?

I was there throughout last week and I’m going back next week. I am in and out of the place. It not just about living there and not coming out, it is actually about looking for partners in the stage we are now. I have to be in and out, looking for local partners, global partners, people that will help us in consultancy. That is why our CEO is not Yoruba or a male figure. We are open. It is all about the model we are building. It is about whoever can do it, whether man or woman, whether young or old, from South East or South West, from Northern Nigeria or even Egypy or Ethiopia. As long as we have a synergy and understanding to build a pact that would have workable opportunities that will take us to where we want to go, then we are able to do all these things.

But at the same time, we are also trying to protect whatever we are doing so that it is not messed up. There is too much we are doing, so it is complex. The only way we can explain it to people is to show that it is working. Because it is a smart model we are building, we have a lot of digital solution we are bringing in. We have already started in such a manner that people will now begin to understand what we are trying to do.

Have you been getting assistance from government on the Eti Oni development project?

The state government has actually been very helpful, they have been helpful in everything we have been doing. I think I will use this opportunity to commend the governor (Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola). The governor, when he knew about the cocoa festival, I was given his personal email address to send a letter of the notice on the cocoa festival. I got a call from his office within the hour I sent the mail that they should give us complete support for what we are doing. They brought in resources to train the farmers. They brought in all sorts of materials and they also participated in every aspect of it, up to the grand finale which we tagged Gureje Day.

Unfortunately, the governor had to travel. But he sent in representation to launch the Eti Oni Chocolate. At the same time, we were given reasonable access to Eti Oni. So the government has been very supportive. Of course, as time goes on, we are going to engage them the more to explain how elaborate our plans are and how they can also help further.

The project is massive. Was there any point in time you felt like quitting?

Yes, you are right. There are times you feel like knocking your head on the wall, especially when you think ‘I don’t have a penny, how am I going to do this?’ Of course, like I said, I am a Christian. I also have this trust that where there is no way, God makes a way for me. And in truth, that is what has always happened. Up until the Cocoa Festival, when there was no way, He made a way for us. The access road to the town was completed at 10 am on the day of the Cocoa Festival. There was a particular portion of the road that I thought nobody would be able to cross, and that place was not completed until 10 in the morning the festival happened. People came from all over the world. Nobody would know that we had challenges from day one to the end. So God creates a way where there is no way for people who trust in Him fully.

I observe that in all your pictures that I have seen so far, you are always in white. Is that your preferred colour?

Well you can call it my signature. I actually got it from my father. My father was called Baba White because he always wore white. So when I became an Oba, I felt if he could get that identity for wearing white, I could also get that from him. This is a person I respect so much and also give honour for who I am today. I believe that if I copy him, it would add to me. It has not taken anything; it has added to me. He was the one that encouraged me that when the time comes, I should ensure that my installation is done in the church. It is now to do what is right, and what is right is to do the installation in the church. All I did was to have a little twist of colours. With my white, I use six or seven colours, but it is still all white. These colours are like trimmings and on my caps and on top of what I wear.

But funny enough, I use other colours for casual wears, maybe when I’m taking a stroll around the community, around Lagos or moving around casually to the supermarket or something like that. At times, I’m in white, at other times I’m in coloured ankara. The colour depends on what I wear. But 95 per cent of the time, I wear white.

In Yorubaland, Obas usually marry many wives. Is that also the case with you?

(Prolonged laughter) Do you have any plan for me? Tell me. I’m open to ideas.

Okay, what is your attitude to polygamy?

I’m a very simple and straightforward person. Polygammy has its advantages and disadvantages. But it is an individual thing. I don’t condemn it. It is different strokes for different folks. That is how I see polygamy. But for me, my partner will always be my best friend. So polygamy can be a bit tricky.

You said Christianity originated from Africa. There was no way Jesus Christ would have been an African or a black man…

Nobody knows who Jesus Christ was. I believe Jesus Christ was a black man. The Egypt we know today was not populated by Arabs or Europeans. The Egyptians we know today are European Egyptians or Egyptians from Arab. That was not the case when the bible was written during the time of Hebrews. A lot of things have changed. A lot of things have disguised. They have erased a lot of things to make us believe that we have lots of Europeans in Egypt, in Arabia and all those places.

In the dictionary, we know how a Caucasian was addressed. But today, Arabs are addressed as Caucasians. That is the Europeans saying this is who they are; they own this, they own that. They own what we are, they own what we do. The problem with Africa is that Africa does not define itself on who truly they are. We are defined with poverty, war, famine, corruption and everything that is bad. But in reality, Africa is the origin of humanity. If we are here in Africa and we believe we are part of the origin of Africa, it means the world started from here. It means the Hebrew language is an African language. And because good came before evil, it means Africa is the good one and everything that is not good came from outside Africa.

I’m saying we are the beginning of human existence.

Every other thing is a copy or metamorphosis of who we are. So you must be African before you can be European. You must be African before you can be Asian. You must be African before you can be a Chinese, evolution or whatever occurs. To reverse it or to accept is not doing ourselves justice. To do justice is to call ourselves what we are not or what they call us.

Has this line of argument ever put you in a kind of trouble?

When I started saying it, I quite realised that there were a number of people saying the same thing. Even if you go to Israel today, there are a number of Jews who are saying they are not the real Hebrews. There is a difference between Israelis and Hebrews. The people that are called Jews today are European Jews; they are not real Jews. How come you have people in Ethiopia who are like us in terms of our colour and skin but they are called Jews? They are fighting for their rights in Israel. Some of them have accepted them. They know they are the real Jews.

Same people like us are the real Egyptians. It is not occupying Israel physically that matters; it is when we occupy Israel in our hearts and we know that this is who we are that matters. That is when we have the final freedom as people, because right now, that is what I call colonial mentality. We need to free ourselves from that mentality. We need to free ourselves from slavery. We need to free ourselves from oppression. We have gone through this in the last few centuries. It is when we free ourselves that we will begin to move forward. But to free ourselves is not to get into the jail that has been prepared for us by the same people. Now it is psychological, emotional and sentimental jail, not the physical jail. A lot of our people are falling into the trap.

Could that be the reason why you did your coronation rites in the church?

Yes, that is the reason. Having gone back to the origin, Christianity is my faith. That is why my coronation was done in in the church. I am a Christian. I believe in the words of the bible. ‘Rulership’ or kingship, in that regard, is spiritual and you must get it right from the outset. If some of our communities claim that they have been in existence for 1000 or 2000 years with the chaos they are in today, then there is a problem. Communities or countries that are not as old are far better off.

It is high time we stopped blaming colonialism or come up with this conspiracy theory for our woes and face reality. Number one, we have got the spiritual aspect wrong. Once we get that right, we would be able to rebuild our foundation. The next thing people will come up with is that ‘oh, religion is the one killing Nigeria. Nigeria has so many pastors’, and all that stuff. But I look at the developed world today, not just developed, organised world, which of them is not religious?

In the Yoruba tradition, it is believed that if the Akoko leaf is not put on your head, you’re not yet a king. Have you encountered any problem, either from the kingmakers or other families who are also interested in the position?

You know the truth? The number one Gureje, my great grandfather, who founded Eti Oni, founded it on Christianity. He was one of the pioneers of Christianity in 1870 or 1860, and it continued in that light. Even the cathedral in Ilesha is credited to the Gureje Thompson family, to have been able to bring the diocese and the cathedral then to Ilesha, I mean the Anglican Diocese of Ilesha, probably there was only one diocese in Ife, Ilesha and probably Ekiti.

And because of our long-standing history within the Anglican community with my father, at that time, he was in Ogbomosho and his brother, who was the Oloni then, were able to make sure that the cathedral was situated in Ilesha. And that is why when that Oloni passed on, he was buried at the cathedral where bishops are normally buried. That is my origin. That is my heritage.

Yes, some people may want to bring in what I call object deification. I don’t want to call it traditional worship because my own traditional worship is Christianity, Christ-based faith. What I would call the other one apart from Islam is deifying the object. Either you have an object that you call an orisa (idol) and you deify it. I don’t believe in it. It is not a tradition to me and it is not part of my heritage. It has never been part of Eti Oni heritage.

Yes, one or two times, there had been attempts to introduce it but has never been successful, and in my own time, it will never be successful. I even pray that in the time we are now in Nigeria, they would embrace the true worship of God in spirit and in truth, so that we will get ourselves out of the problems we put ourselves in right now.

At what point did you decide to be a traditional ruler? What was the attraction? Many would wonder why a professional with good education would want to stay in a remote village…

Well the truth is that right from the time I was young, I was told that I was going to be an Oba. I’m a twin and my mother told me that during the naming ceremony, the reverend father that came to do the naming ceremony said ‘this is a king’, and they made a sort of crown from paper and put it on my head. After that, I remember one time when I was in Kings College, I said when I become a king, I would go into full time agriculture and create an economy from that. I didn’t know what I was saying then but I knew that was the way forward. And sometime in 2002, when I came back to Nigeria from England, I tried to go into politics. I started giving life a different meaning. I now understand life to be something where you just don’t exist now and then disappear. You need to have life after death. In other words, you must have impacted people’s lives positively in such a manner that you would live beyond your time. When you go, your life will still be living in other people.

My father always made us understand that your heritage is very important. You need to hold on to your name. You need to cherish your name. You need to value yourself and at the same time understand that any position you find yourself is a position of sacrifice and you have to live up to that expectation. So, for educated people who run away from service, running away from giving themselves as sacrifice for service, they are as guilty as everybody else. In fact, they are more guilty than those they call corrupt. They say that the country is in a mess, the politicians have messed up the country and all that, but the truth is that those who have abandoned their responsibilities are more guilty than those who are in it and are messing it up. If they are in it and they are messing it up, it is because they don’t know better. If you know better and you allow people to mess it up, then you are more guilty.

What are those things you are missing as an Oba?

Maybe what I’m missing is that I can’t have many wives (laughter). There is nothing I’m missing. I have gained a lot more. We are able to put smiles on the faces of people. We are able to live a life of sacrifice.

January 31, 2017
Dealing with commitment in relationship

DEAR Harriet, Thanks for your counsel on life issues. It’s of great benefit to me. I am beginning to see things differently. That is why I need you to throw light on how to deal with a boyfriend who is afraid of commitment. I am a matured single lady in a relationship.

Thanks.

Name withheld, Abuja.

Commitment is one of the most important goals of a sustainable relationship. Thanks for sharing your situation. It will interest you to know the number of people who are experiencing same challenge as you.

Commitment can be explained as a dedication or rather an obligation that binds a person to a particular person or course of action. It may be made willingly or unwillingly.

Now, let’s have an overview of the problem at hand before offering solutions. One thing that we must understand is that there are different categories of people in dealing with the issue of commitment in a relationship. Some people may ask for a commitment at the early stage, while others may ask for some type of commitment after a lengthy relationship.

Individuals with the commitment issue may experience mental distress and emotional difficulty when faced with situations that require their full dedication to achieving a particular goal.

The term commitment cuts across every aspect of life. In the workplace, for instance, a fear of commitment may lead a person to avoid or reject projects or assignments. This attitude could have a negative impact on the person’s performance or overall effectiveness.

Also in a relationship, commitment issues may prompt one or both partners to reject the opportunity to pursue a more stable, intimate arrangement such as getting married. However, the factors behind your partner’s inability to commit may stem from variety of issues. While you may consider his fear of commitment of no importance, you need to be open and realize that his perception of the situation is what governs his behaviour.

Here are some reasons why your partner might find it challenging to be committed. May be your partner may not be genuinely in love with you or may have feelings for someone else. His relationship with you might be on a friendly ground.

Fear of a loss of identity where he may have to cater to all your needs in fear of making you unhappy and in the process lose himself can be a reason as well. Others causes for lack of commitment in relationships are as follows.

Fear of being controlled

Immaturity and the need to remain young

Fear of a reduced social life with friends or buddies

Fear of financial responsibility

Fear of becoming more demanding

Fear of being “trapped” and losing sense of freedom

Fear of the unknown here, your boyfriend or girlfriend may feel that he/ she is making a life time commitment without having any idea of what is down the road.

Inferiority complex: A person with low self-esteem will see the other person better as a result commitment becomes difficult. The way forward is this, once you understand that his fear of commitment is really an undefined fear or set of fears within himself, your next move is to attempt to repair this problem by doing the following: bring his possible fears listed above to the surface one by one.

If you ask him directly why he is afraid to commit, he may be unable to identify the real issues. This is probably because he will only be feeling emotions that are associated with fear and not possess conscious awareness of the label for such emotions.

Have a meaningful open discussion with him. You may be surprised what this type of conversation may bring and your relationship may become stronger or otherwise. See this as an opportunity to really communicate deep-rooted fears and feelings with each other.

In addition, it is possible that even with this type of extensive interaction, your boyfriend may continue his pattern. If you see a consistent pattern of avoidance, procrastination and so on after this discussion, then the pattern has a good chance of being around a long time, may be indefinitely.

If he constantly reassures you, he will make some decision but he never seems to follow through. Then, you need to be honest with yourself about the quality of this relationship as a long-term commitment.

As painful as this may be, always chasing the elusive carrot as the saying goes is demoralizing and will devalue your self-worth. You might also want to set some time limit within yourself, but try to avoid ultimatums.

Note that decisions about commitment made by ultimatums rarely work out in a healthy way. So, in the process of dealing with the issue, make sure it is approached the proper way. However, when your own tolerance level is reached, let him know that you can no longer be involved in this relationship and might have to choose to go in another direction. If action is not taken, clarify that it is not an ultimatum, but for the good of the relationship.

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

January 28, 2017
How to cope with insecurity in relationship

DEAR Harriet, I am a 34-year-old working-class lady in a serious relationship with a man I love dearly, but my challenge is that he feels insecure, and I don’t know how to deal with the situation.

Please, help me.

Thanks.

Name withheld,

Lagos

Thanks for sharing your problem with us. It is important to note that insecurity in a relationship, whether married or dating, can lead to all sorts of secondary problems, including extreme possessiveness, unwillingness to entertain social options, high expectations for you and low expectations for him, constant self-doubt, small safety zone in which he feels comfortable and social isolation.

When insecurity is a concern, it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Before we offer solutions on how to tackle insecurity, it will be nice for us to state some of the likely causes. Remember there is always a reason for an action.

One of the major factors that can lead to insecurity lies in childhood trauma or life event, especially in a situation where a person experiences lack of parental or family love, growing up or witnessing a bad relationship between parents. This can affect a child’s tender mind. As a result, he or she might lack trust in future relationships as well.

Another factor that can lead to insecurity is low feeling of self-worth, if for any reason in the relationship there is the feeling of inferiority complex or the attitude of not good enough for your spouse or partner. Next might be repeated failure in social situations. The negative experience of past relationship that was never treated or addressed can haunt the current relationship, so the person might be struggling with believing in his or her partner or spouse.

Moreover, other factors that can make a partner or spouse feel insecure in a relationship are perceived or real feelings of inadequacy about physical state, lack of security and stability when growing up or fear of losing a loved one.

However, here are some useful tips that might be of benefit to you in dealing with the issue of insecurity in a relationship. Try to understand that insecurities are only a symptom of the true problem. Make effort to assist your partner or spouse, identify the source of the insecurity by providing possible labels, discuss with him or her, ask questions about his action and reason for the feelings that he or she is experiencing.

Discussing the situation freely will help mend the communication bridge between both of you. This will help your partner or spouse feel that his or her emotions are understood. As a result, it might help to boost self-confidence as the case may be.

Love conquers all. Your unconditional love will definitely bring your partner out of insecurity. Learn to be open in your doings, carry him or her along when taking decisions and make his or her opinion count. Try to also give him more attention when he is not asking for it. In addition, use common sense and good judgment when compromising.

Remember not to give into irrational demands that are only a means of reducing his anxiety caused by his or her insecurity. In spite of all these, there are certain things you must avoid in the process of dealing with the feeling of insecurity in a relationship. One of them is rejection. This can make your partner or spouse who already has a security issue to feel more insecure.

Don’t lecture in the process because lecturing him or her on being insecure defeats the entire purpose. He will only see the lecturing as demeaning and just another blow to his or her self-confidence. Also avoid yelling while talking with him; it will only increase his insecurities. If there is no progress after trying the above, don’t hesitate to seek the assistance of a trained counsellor.

Finally, everyone in one situation or the other is faced with the issue of insecurities, but the real issue here is how we deal with them and how much they affect those around us. Be careful not to begin limiting your life to work around your partner’s or spouse insecurities. Most people in healthy relationship may modify their behaviour at times to meet the needs of other persons. This is regarded as compromise. However, when you begin to lose your identity by compromising too often, then your own feelings of self-worth may have to be explored.

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

January 21, 2017
Adedibu once wrote me a letter in RED ink -Ex-Oyo Resident Electoral Commissioner

A former Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) in four states in Nigeria – Oyo, Ekiti, Taraba and Akwa Ibom – Elder Chidi Frank Wihioka, hails from Elele, Ikwerre Local Government Area, Rivers State and currently represents Ikwerre/Emohua Federal Constituency in the House of Representatives. In this interview with our Port Harcourt Bureau Chief, BISI OLANIYI, the former lecturer says he never experienced sexual harassment or ‘sorting’ in his almost 27 years of teaching. He also proffers solutions to the Niger Delta militancy and Boko Haram insurgency, having done his national youth service in the old Borno State. Excerpts:

Let us start from the beginning. How was life as a growing up child?

I started life from State School 3 Primary School, Elele in Ikwerre Local Government Area, Rivers State, where I had my first school leaving certificate in 1973 and I came out with distinction. In the same year, I got admission into County Grammar School, Ikwerre/Etche, where I finished in 1978. I came out with Grade 2. From there, I proceeded to the Rivers State University of Science and Technology (RSUST), Port Harcourt, formerly Rivers State College of Arts and Science, where I did Higher National Diploma (HND) in Animal Science. I then proceeded to the University of Calabar (UNICAL) in Cross River State on a part-time basis before I did my Post-Graduate Diploma (PGD) and Master’s in Education.

After HND, I did the national youth service in 1984 in the old Borno State. When I returned to Rivers State after the youth service, I first taught at Girls Secondary School, Iba, Emohua LGA, before I got another employment opportunity to be a lecturer at the Rivers State College of Arts and Science, Port Harcourt, then the School of Basic Studies, where I taught for almost 27 years before I veered into politics.

When my people felt that it was very important for me to run for election, instead of putting in resignation letter, I put in retirement letter in 2014 and retired from the Rivers State College of Arts and Science, Port Harcourt, which was later upgraded to Port Harcourt Polytechnic by Governor Nyesom Wike and recently renamed Elechi Amadi Polytechnic in honour of the late literacy icon, who hailed from Aluu in Ikwerre LGA of the state, to vie as a member of the House of Representatives representing Ikwerre/Emohua Federal Constituency of Rivers State.

I was appointed as Ikwerre Local Government Caretaker Chairman of the National Republican Convention (NRC) in 1992 as a public officer and we managed NRC until we conducted election and had NRC officers and we left. I also got appointment as a member of the Rivers State Land Use and Allocation Committee. Even when the military took over, we were retained, handling everything relating to Certificates of Occupancy (C of O) and allocation of government-owned lands, until 1999 when I was appointed as General Manager of Rison Palm, then wholly owned by the Rivers State Government before investors were later invited.

You functioned as a Resident Electoral Commissioner at some point…

Yes, I later got appointment at the federal level as a Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), first in Oyo State. I was then moved to Taraba State. I conducted the 2003 general election in Taraba State. Thereafter, I was posted to Akwa Ibom State and then Ekiti, all as REC. It was in Ekiti State that I completed my first tenure of five years as REC and I left. I then veered into politics.

Shortly after a former Speaker of the Rivers State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi, an indigene of Ubima in Ikwerre LGA, now Transportation Minister, became governor on October 26, 2007, after the Supreme Court’s landmark judgment of the previous day, I was appointed the Chairman of Rivers State Road Maintenance and Rehabilitation Agency, a position I occupied until 2014. I was still a lecturer at the Rivers State College of Arts and Science, Port Harcourt, but I took a leave of absence.

How easy was your election into the House of Reps?

My election into the House of Representatives was the longest election in the history of Nigeria. From 2014 when I retired from the Rivers State College of Arts and Science, Port Harcourt, the election of 2015 continued till 2016 when we had a rerun on December 10 and I was declared winner by INEC on December 12, 2016. By the grace of God Almighty, I was elected by my people to represent Ikwerre/Emohua Federal Constituency in the House of Representatives of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I thank God that I have the experience and what it takes to represent my federal constituency.

You said you served in old Borno State in 1984. How will you compare Borno State then and now, considering the Boko Haram insurgency?

Then, Borno State was a very nice place. I served in Marugaba, but I had a house in Maiduguri, the capital of Borno State. When I served in Borno State, even at 2 am, you could walk on any road and nobody would harass you. You would even see people sleeping in front of their houses. There was no threat to life whatsoever.

As a parent, how did you feel when you heard that Boko Haram insurgents had kidnapped close to 300 girls from Government Girls Secondary School, Chibok in Borno State where you served?

I felt very bad. Imagine how you feel if your daughter is somewhere you do not know. You will neither be able to eat nor sleep. No parent can comfortably say he/she will eat, drink or move around with such an unpleasant experience. There was a day I watched a carol in Abuja after the kidnap of the Chibok girls, and one lady from Chibok was talking. I broke down. I looked at her and I looked at my children. I asked myself a question: If this had happened to your children who are with you here, how will you feel?

I thank God that by His grace, the Federal Government and the military are making progress now to free the remaining Chibok girls who are still in captivity while Sambisa Forest has been cleared of Boko Haram insurgents. The release of the Chibok girls will bring joy to their parents and other Nigerians.

You are from the Niger Delta. Militants in the region are doubting the sincerity of the Federal Government with regard to transforming the oil-rich region and empowering the marginalised people. How would you advise President Muhammadu Buhari on this?

Militancy in the Niger Delta has changed from genuine agitation to youths now being used for political gains. If you go to some of the communities in the Niger Delta where they are bombing pipelines and other facilities of oil companies, you will find that the real people in the villages are not the ones benefiting from the agitations. Ogoniland in Rivers State is very rich in crude oil and gas, with many oil wells. Ogoni people had problems with oil companies, especially the Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Limited (SPDC), which was sent packing from Ogoniland in 1993 and is yet to return to the four LGAs of Khana, Gokana, Tai and Eleme. But Ogoni people did not damage pipelines.

If you look at reports from security agencies, you will find that some of the pipes the oil companies are claiming were being damaged by militants are pipes that have stayed beyond their lifespan. Any slight touch on the pipes, they will tear apart. So, the oil companies should change their pipes.

The people benefiting from amnesty scholarships in the Niger Delta are not the militants. Some of the people at the helm of affairs of the amnesty programme put the names of their brothers and sisters, who are being trained overseas as pilots and engineers. Most of the benefiting youths never took part in militancy. If you want to eliminate militancy in the Niger Delta, we must ensure manpower development, especially training the ex-militants as middle-level manpower. They can be properly trained as welders and other trades. After their training, they can be employed by the companies or they will become contractors to the companies, in managing their pipelines.

The people defending the Niger Delta militants today are the people that are making the gains. They are the people negotiating with militants for cash. But there are genuine people who are negotiating on behalf of the Federal Government. Can’t you see some Niger Delta leaders who are defending the bad boys, just because they are benefiting from the negotiations? Niger Delta militancy should not be a source of revenue for some leaders.

The Federal Government should do away with Niger Delta’s unpatriotic leaders/channels and identify the real community leaders for the Federal Government and oil companies to ensure real development of the Niger Delta communities. In some communities in the Niger Delta, you will find camps of multinational oil giants with good water, constant electricity and good roads leading to the camps and everything functioning very well, but the adjoining communities where the oil firms are drilling crude oil are without social amenities.

If you wake up in the night in the host communities of oil companies in the Niger Delta, you will see light in the camps of the oil firms. You will be hearing loud music and the happy people will be dancing while the people of the communities who own the crude oil are in total darkness. It would get to a point where the neglected people of the host communities in the Niger Delta would want to revolt. As the oil companies are developing their camps, they should also be developing their host communities.

You were a REC of INEC in Oyo, Taraba, Akwa Ibom and Ekiti states in the days of do-or-die politics. What did you experience?

As a REC of INEC, I saw the good, the bad and the ugly. What was important to me, as at then, was my name and my determination to do something right. While in Oyo State as REC of INEC in 2002, we had the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and the then Alliance for Democracy (AD). The then governor, Alhaji Lam Adesina, was of AD. There was a day the then strongman of Ibadan politics, Alhaji Lamidi Adedibu, wrote me a letter with a red biro. I read it and I remembered when I was in the university and we were using red biro to write letters to threaten somebody. I saw Alhaji Adedibu’s letter as one of those experiences in life. I read the letter and I dropped it inside my drawer, without allowing the content to bother me.

What was the content of the letter?

It was a private letter. He wrote to me and talked as a politician.

Did he threaten to harm you for not supporting his preferred candidates or his political party?

No comment.

How did you cope with pressure from influential politicians and top government officials as REC of INEC in four states of Nigeria?

While still in Oyo State as REC of INEC, another thing happened besides the letter from Alhaji Adedibu. The then governor, Alhaji Lam Adesina, called me and said he got a report that I was giving registration forms to PDP members. I just laughed. He drove to my office in Ibadan with the then Chairman of Oyo State Independent Electoral Commission (SIEC), many aides and supporters. They talked for a very long time. When they finished, I said His Excellency, this your SIEC chairman will put you in problems. He asked why and I told him that the SIEC chairman brought photocopied OMR forms being used to capture people directly, but I insisted I would never allow photocopied documents to be used since INEC only deals with original documents.

I told Alhaji Adesina how I advised the SIEC chairman against doing things that were not in line with INEC’s rules and regulations, but he (SIEC chairman) ended up telling the then governor lies, which made him (Alhaji Adesina) to leave his official duties to come to INEC office. The then governor asked the SIEC chairman if what I said was true and he said yes. Alhaji Adesina was so disappointed, got tired, told me sorry and they left.

I conducted elections in Taraba State, a quiet place. There was no trouble or violence. After the announcement of the results of the elections, I walked a distance of half a kilometre from the hotel where I lodged to go and eat without any security, and nobody abused, harassed or attacked me. In Akwa Ibom State, I conducted state House of Assembly by-election. In Ekiti State too, I conducted House of Representatives’ by-election. By God’s grace, I am honest and straightforward, and I place emphasis on integrity and honour.

How did you meet your wife?

We met in school, Rivers State University of Science and Technology (RSUST), Port Harcourt. I entered first in 1979, while Comfort (his wife) was admitted with supplementary list. We did some courses that had to do with Mathematics, Survey and Physics, but she was not good in Mathematics. We were in the same Faculty of Agriculture. She was in Agric Economics Department, while I was in Animal Science Department. I was then teaching her Mathematics, Survey and Physics.

How did you propose to her?

Both of us proposed to each other while teaching.

How has it been since you got married?

We got married in 1990. Since then, it has been very nice, sweet and rewarding, to the glory of God Almighty.

Will you like any of your children to go into politics?

I will not stop my children from anything they want to do. That is one policy we have in our family. We do not dictate. The only thing we can do for our children is to give them sound education. Any other thing they want to do, as far as it is not criminal, they are free.

You were a lecturer for almost 27 years. Did you experience sexual harassment or ‘sorting’ with sex, money or gift?

No. I did not experience sexual harassment. While teaching, I was also holding political offices and I was always in a hurry to finish my lectures, mark the scripts and go out. In those days, there was nothing like ‘sorting’. It is now that I am hearing about ‘sorting’ and I am surprised. In those days, no lecturer had time for nonsense. We were very busy, concentrating on how to teach and we had a very good environment. We had a staff canteen where lecturers could eat or drink after lectures. The canteen was exclusively for lecturers.

How did you come about the title of ‘Elder’?

They used to call me Radical Chidex, because if you did things that were not okay, we would fight. One day, one of my friends, Kwashi, a Ghanaian and now a lawyer in Port Harcourt, came and called me Sir Elder Baba Chidex. He later turned it to Elder Chidex. From that day, people started calling me Elder Chidex and later shortened it to Elder. If you went out and said you were looking for Chidi Frank Wihioka, they would tell you they did not know the person. But immediately you mentioned Elder Chidi Frank Wihioka, they would tell you they knew him.

Your kinsman from the same Elele, Emma Okah, a lawyer and current Rivers State Commissioner for Housing, who is of the PDP, alleged after INEC declared you winner of the December 10 legislative rerun, that you wanted to kill him and that the election was rigged for you by INEC, police and the military as directed by the Transportation Minister, Rotimi Amaechi. How will you react to the allegations?

All the allegations levelled against me by Emma Okah and other members of the PDP are not true. Emma Okah’s mother worships in the same church with me. His mother cannot come to Anglican Church’s altar to say I threatened to kill her son. Even Emma Okah, when he leaves office as Nyesom Wike’s commissioner, he will deny most of the things he has said. I made Emma Okah, by God’s grace.

How?

When I was REC of INEC in Oyo State, Miss Tosin Odukoya, now Mrs. Tosin Dokpesi, a journalist with Africa Independent Television (AIT), then in Lagos, but now the Managing Director of AIT, Abuja, came to Ibadan from Lagos to interview me. When AIT aired the interview, Emma Okah saw it and he did not know that I was a REC of INEC. He then called somebody to give him my number and he called to congratulate me, saying that the interview was nice.

Emma asked of my location and I told him I was in Ibadan. He asked if he could come and I said yes. Emma came, and that was how he started visiting me from Lagos and later staying with me in my house in Ibadan for many weeks. All through my stay in Ibadan, any time I was coming to Port Harcourt, I always paid Emma’s flight ticket. He is my relative. We are from the same village. I do not know what he was doing in Lagos then.

Besides that, by God’s grace, I made Emma Okah to be close to the then Governor of Rivers State, Dr. Peter Odili. I took Emma to Dr. Odili, describing him as a good man, who could write very well. As a lawyer, Emma was then writing articles in favour of Dr. Odili in The Guardian newspaper. When I took Emma to Dr. Odili, he told the then governor that I was the person helping him to survive. I then spoke with the current Minister of Transportation (Amaechi), who was then the Speaker of the Rivers State House of Assembly, who facilitated the appointment of Emma as Chief Press Secretary to the then Governor Odili. When Emma started having problems in the village, I told him to be careful. The village that made you is the village that will destroy you.

I won the December 10, 2016 rerun. INEC announced me as winner of the election on December 12. On December 13, I returned home and the whole Elele gathered to receive me. We moved round the big community and my people were singing all over. They took me round the whole Elele and it took me more than three hours to get back home. The next day (December 14), I travelled to Abuja and I was at the House of Representatives on Thursday (December 15) with other winners of the elections for our inauguration by the Speaker, Yakubu Dogara.

Emma is my small brother. When I was in Class Five in County Grammar School, Ikwerre/Etche, Emma was in Class Two. Emma and other students from Elele were feeding in my corner. I was the Games Prefect. I loved football and I played football very well. All of them from Elele were then coming to my corner to eat, because while I was going to school, I would go with a lot of items and money, by God’s grace.

Is it true that INEC, police, military personnel and the Transportation Minister, Rotimi Amaechi, rigged the December 10 rerun and hijacked electoral materials for you and other candidates of the All Progressives Congress (APC)? Are you not worried about the decision of PDP’s candidates to challenge your victories at the election petitions tribunal?

People who kill with knives will never allow anybody with knife to pass their back. PDP members and leaders are involved in rigging every day of their lives. Whenever other people win, they will say it is rigging. They declared PDP candidate the winner of senatorial election in Emohua LGA without results, but they did not call it rigging, I won the December 10 legislative rerun election for Ikwerre/Emohua federal constituency outright, in spite of all that PDP members did. You also heard Nyesom Wike on the first leaked audio tape through Sahara Reporters, when he was allegedly calling Ikwerre LGA’s Electoral Officer (EO).

You can have an E.O. with an assurance that he would do everything for you. The PDP members and leaders forgot that you can take a horse to the river, but you cannot force it to drink water. That was what happened to them. PDP members tried rigging in Ikwerre LGA, but it did not work. INEC, police, military and Rt. Hon. Amaechi did not rig the elections for me and other candidates of the APC. Let PDP leaders tell the whole world the truth. No electoral material was hijacked. The result of my election was announced around 3 pm on December 12, not December 10, 2016 when the rerun took place. On December 12, Rt. Hon. Amaechi was already in his office in Abuja or in Lagos doing his official assignments. Will Rt. Hon. Amaechi be in Lagos or Abuja and hijack electoral materials in Rivers State? The hijacking of electoral materials could have only taken place in PDP members’ imagination or madness. PDP leaders are now crying because they could not buy the military officers and some policemen. They bought some INEC officials. Before, Wike would buy everybody. Any time you hear Wike shouting that some people are rigging, watch him, he is planning to rig, so that if he fails, he will then say he said it. The soldiers came out during the elections, did their security work and are back to their barracks. I do not know any of them. We do not need to destroy institutions because of our personal interest. A time will come when you will need them.

In 2014, PDP leaders attempted to plant gun in my house in Elele, when Dr. Goodluck Jonathan was President. They broke the back fence of my house. They did not want me to vie for election, because they knew I would win. They wanted to use the planting of the gun for the police to arrest my security men in the village, who would be forced to write statements and sign that I was the owner of the gun, and they would put me in prison. One of the PDP members, who knew about the plan, called me immediately and said I had assisted him in life and he would not want me to be taken to prison, for what I knew nothing about. I quickly called and informed the then commissioner of police, who promised to get back to me, which he is yet to do.

The whole of the village then trooped into my house. My security men are Fulani people with bows and arrows, and they injured one of the gun planters who ran and jumped into a waiting police vehicle, which quickly zoomed off. They could not drop the gun. I have passed through a lot of things. They took me to court and was forcing the then Divisional Police Officer (DPO) in Elele to put arson in the charge sheet so that they would not grant me bail. The DPO refused. The then Rivers Commissioner of Police, Mbu Joseph Mbu, made sure the then DPO from Taraba State was immediately transferred to Osun State. I went to court and won.

During the 2015 general elections, PDP leaders wrote results in the house of one of its chieftains in Elele. We challenged the massive rigging at the tribunal and got victory. On March 19, 2016, during the rerun, PDP members caused the highest level of violence in Rivers State, especially in my area. The shooting was unprecedented. The election was shifted again to December 10 and I was declared by INEC as the winner. I will still win at the tribunal. Let the PDP members tell the world what they did during the December 10 elections in Rivers State.

What did they do?

I will not expose them for now. I am using my evidence at the tribunal. I am waiting for them at the tribunal and they will be shocked. Let them defend what Nyesom Wike said about Ikwerre LGA’s Electoral Officer. The Inspector-General of Police (IGP), Ibrahim Idris, set up a panel to investigate the two leaked audio tapes and the massive rigging by PDP members during the December 10 elections, but Wike later hurriedly set up his own judicial commission of inquiry, headed by Justice Chinwendu Nwogu, who was made a judge about two months ago by the Rivers governor. Wike has never set up a panel to investigate the killing of many innocent people and security personnel in Ogba/Egbema/Ndoni LGA and Ahaoda Region of Rivers State.

On January 6, police authorities dismissed six policemen attached to Governor Nyesom Wike for professional misconduct during the December 10 legislative rerun, but the governor said the policemen are innocent and has called for their immediate reinstatement. What is your reaction?

Wike should not cry more than the bereaved. The six dismissed policemen have the right of appeal. Let them appeal. Wike should stop making unnecessary noise to whip up sentiments for public sympathy. The Rivers governor should tell the whole world the truth. I watched the video, how the six policemen were shooting at the Port Harcourt City Local Government Council secretariat, the Rivers East Senatorial District’s collation centre. Who broke the head of the INEC’s returning officer? What was Wike doing there?

Is the governor not the chief security officer of the state who would want to ensure peace and prevent a breakdown of law and order?

Why didn’t Wike go to Ogba/Egbema/Ndoni LGA, where DSP Mohammed Alkali of Mobile Police Unit 48 and his orderly, Sgt. Urukwu Nwachukwu, were beheaded on December 10, 2016 while on election duty, to stand there as the chief security officer of the state?

January 14, 2017
Healthy eating habits for children

DEAR Harriet, Happy New Year! One of my New Year resolutions is to change my children’s eating habits.

Please, help me.

Mrs. Doris Shobo, Lagos.

Feeding habits are learned behaviour. They’re not intuitive, so what your children learn to eat at home early in life sticks with them well into adulthood.

It is not a good idea to count calorie or severely restrict food for children, like some parents do.

The good news is that most overweight kids do not need to diet and they may not even need to lose weight at all. As overweight children grow taller,aim to keep their weight about the same. That means they grow into their ideal weight as they get taller.

Your child might not be overweight or obese; it is important that they eat healthily and remain physically active. The tips here are relevant to all children, no matter their weight.

Try new healthy meal: Ever find yourself making one meal for the adults in the house and another for the kids or even one for each kid? Children take their time warming up to new things and if you keep giving them the old standbys, they’re not going to branch out and explore new foods.

Be patient. Make the same dinner for everyone in the family, while making sure to put some foods on the plate that your children like. Then, add something new. If they don’t touch it, don’t worry about it, and definitely don’t make an argument out of it.

Try again the next week and again the following week. Eventually, they’ll surprise you by at least tasting that new food.

Be flexible. Note, anything in moderation is fine. Of course, if a child is given a treat once in a while, it is really not a bad idea. Yes, you have set diet for your child in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle, allowing the child in moderation occasionally of what they like helps to knock off the feeling of deprivation.

While we always want to make the healthiest choices for our children’s bodies, a special treat once a week or even once a month won’t do any damage. On the contrary, it will help make eating a more enjoyable experience and will help your child build a good relationship with food.

Sugar swaps: Swap sugary drinks for water, milk or unsweetened fruit juice. Sugary drinks are not as good as water. Yes, they can provide momentary satisfaction for our children when they are thirsty, but in the long run, the substances in them apart from the little water added are harmful to their health. As a result, children should be encouraged to drink plenty of water daily, so that when they grow up, it will be easier to maintain, and the benefits of water must not be overlooked. It helps to improve the function of the kidneys and prevent constipation in children.

Meal time: Today, many of us are disconnected from food sources in a way that is unprecedented in human history. The numbers of people who cook meals from the scratch are reducing by number because of our busy lifestyles. It’s faster to grab something from a fast-food restaurant on the way home after school/work, instead of cooking a well homemade meal with the entire necessary nutrients that they need to grow healthy.

Every day, all children should aim to eat five or more servings of variety of fruits and vegetables. It is wise to give more fruits and vegetables which are in season to our children since they are usually cheaper than others. Some people see them as very expensive. Don’t forget the costs of fruits and vegetables are incomparable to the positive health benefits derived from them.

Vegetable- a lot of food items fall into this category, not only green vegetables. Some of these are green leafy vegetables, okra, cabbage, garden egg, cucumber, tomatoes, broccoli and avocado pear. All these contain minerals, vitamin, iron, calcium and pro-vitamin. They are essential for healthy growth and development in children.

Children need meals that are based on starchy foods, as they are still growing, for example, potatoes, pasta, rice, bread, breakfast cereal or other cereal.

Protein-rich foods – poultry, fish, eggs, beans, pulses and lentils should not be left out.

Lower- fat dairy products like milk, yoghurt, cheese (once children are over five).

Activity: 30/ 60 minutes activity a day. Children should be encouraged to add activity into their daily life. It could be playing football, running, walking, any sport that they enjoy doing, be it at home or in school. In schools, make sure they enroll for a sporting activity. It keeps them stay healthy and busy.

Don’t use food as reward, bribes, or punishment: It’s alright to take a child out for ice cream occasionally, but not as an incentive for a good work. Likewise, don’t punish children for not eating certain foods- it will only foster a negative relationship between you and your children, not to mention your children and food. Resist the temptation to give your children sweets and chocolate for rewards and comfort.

Make sure your child eats breakfast: It’s the most important meal of the day, and it should ideally be the largest meal of the day to get your child off on the right foot. After 10 to 12 hours with no food, it’s important to refuel the engines. If they don’t eat in the morning, they’ll be tired and unable to concentrate in school before lunch. It’s essential that children jumpstart their metabolism in the morning, so their bodies don’t enter starvation mode which might later cause them to experience difficulty maintaining a healthy body weight.

Some children need to practise small and working to a bigger meal if you’re having trouble getting your child to eat breakfast. For most children, breakfast should be around 500 calories and should be nutritionally balanced.

Starting kids off with sugar first thing in morning is not ideal. This gives a quick burst of energy and then leaves your child drained. Breakfast should always include a source of protein, some healthy fats, carbohydrates (whole grains are best) and vitamins and minerals.

Love and accept your child no matter what: Love and accept your child at any weight, size, or shape. During childhood, growth is unpredictable at best. It comes in spurts and a once-skinny child can suddenly plump up, while his height catches up with his weight. There’s a lot of pressure in our society to be thin, and you might be tempted to put your child on a diet during a growth spurt, but that won’t be helpful and may even cause emotional and physical damage.

Instead, help your child maintain his weight until his height catches up. The best way to do that is to teach good healthy eating habits and encourage your child to be active.

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

January 7, 2017
Misery of Chibok: Beyond its missing girls

Two years and the third Christmas celebration after the abduction of over 200 senior students of the Government Girls Secondary School, Chibok, Assistant Editor Seun Akioye investigates how the community has been able to rise from a shocking abduction that grabbed the attention of the world.

Pa Wandazam Allen remembered the first time members of the terrorist group Boko Haram came to Chibok, a predominantly Christian community, in Southern Borno state. He also remembered the last time the attackers came to the community.

“It is a tragedy,” he said several times holding his grey head in his right hand and heaved heavily. “They abducted those girls, they just took them away, we tried to find them but we could not enter into Sambisa forest,” the old retired teacher lamented.

Pa Allen was sitting in his expansive compound in the middle of Chibok town; his house like most of the others was built of clay, with a new brick building about to be completed standing in the centre. As one of the elders of Chibok, the security of the community weighs heavily on his mind.

“My friend called me on the phone that he had information Boko Haram was on its way to Chibok, 10 minutes after he called, we heard the loud sound of gunfire, then there were bombings and everyone started running everywhere,” he said.

Pa Allen has a dramatic way of telling a bitter story which leaves one with an incredible urge to giggle. But there was no mirth in his voice as he went on to describe the arrival of Boko Haram fighters into the town from the western corridor, the loud sound of bombs which killed a soldier, his own dramatic escape and his brave return the following morning to join the chase of the insurgents.

Chibok town has known a prosperous past as a farming community, the chief crops being maize, guinea corn, groundnut and beans. In the days of its prosperity, it was a shining example for religious tolerance and peaceful co-habitation. Predominantly Christian community, it has lived at most amiable conditions with its Muslim population, commerce had thrived and educational standards better than many of its neighbours.

The community gained international attention after 276 schoolgirls were abducted from their hostels at the Government Girls Secondary School (GGSS) by Boko Haram fighters on April 14, 2014. The mode of execution of the plot had left many people insisting that no girl was abducted until the girls were safely inside Sambisa forest, a fortress of evil only about 40 kilometres from Chibok.

Two years and the third Christmas without the majority of the abducted girls, how the community is moving ahead and what will Christmas be without the Chibok girls.

A broken community

For all its worldwide fame, a first-time visitor to Chibok would be shocked at the non-availability of basic infrastructures. There are two main roads into Chibok namely; Maiduguri/Damboa road and Mubi/Askira Uba road. But whichever road you take there is no respite from bad road, and the quicksand and when the wind blows, a hail of red dust welcomes you to Chibok. From Mubi, the good road ends in Danga and on the northern side, it ends in Damboa.

Inside the town itself, there is no single tarred or graded road despite being the local government headquarters for 10 years. Chibok’s problem is beyond its terrible roads, the town of about 66,000 has no electricity, petrol station or bank. “The main transformers in Damboa and Mubi were blown up by Boko Haram about four years ago but they have repaired some, I still don’t know why we don’t have light yet,” Pa Allen asked no one in particular.

Since the destruction of GGSS, there the Central Primary School has played host to both the Government Day Secondary School and the GGSS. The three schools rotate the lectures within the day with each school allotted about four hours every day before vacating the premises for another school to take over.

Living in Chibok could try the patience of the most diligent, every end of the month, people send trusted relatives to Mubi with their Automated Teller Machine (ATM) cards for cash withdrawals. Cash is usually scarce in the town and inflation is rife, products coming into Chibok are usually twice the price one can get in Askira or Damboa leaving the impoverished people with little choice.

This year, there has been less rain and harvest has been bad particularly for beans, nobody could explain why this was so and the farmers could only wrung their hands together and lift it to heaven in supplication. “Many people planted large fields of beans this year, but there has been terrible harvest, we don’t know why this has been so but it is not good,” Pa Allen said.

An audacious abduction

Bitrus Wavi remembered the exact time he heard gunshots on April 14, 2014. The time according to him was 11:15 pm. The events of the night had always attached a sort of mystery to it, how could Boko Haram abduct over 200 teenagers willingly without protestations.

Chief Ahmed Yidan

Ahmadu Yidan is the Da Yidan Poga or the traditional head of Chibok; he said the events of that night left everyone in confusion. “Do you know that when these Boko Haram move they sometimes move with 100 vehicles, they have Lorries and there were some Lorries packed here in the town. They carried those ones. They started bombing all over and they went to the girls and said something is wrong, can’t you hear, we are soldiers, come inside this vehicle let us evacuate you to a safe place.

“So the girls were thinking it was some of the soldiers around and some of the insurgents came in army uniform, so they rushed into the Lorries, had it been known they were Boko Haram they won’t go with 20 students. That night there was confusion, every animal even the cows were in confusion those who had BP died, a soldier died because of the bombing, nothing touched him,” Yidan said.

After the initial confusion, the people of Chibok gathered and determined to pursue the fleeing terrorists. Armed with Dane guns, machetes, kitchen knives, sticks and stones, they made a blind dash towards Sambisa forest.

Yidan: “Our vigilante pursued these people, they reached close to Sambisa but they had to turn back. People carrying sticks and Dane gun, if they had armed escort at the time it would not have been like this.”

But some of the girls escaped, at least 56 of them were able to find their way back home. “After the girls saw that they were not soldiers, some of them jumped down and fractured their legs, others hung on the trees and dropped from the Lorries, those were the brave ones,” Esther Allen said.

Yidan and his people believe the government left the rescue of the girls a little too late and are unimpressed by the rescue of 21 girls. But the proximity of Sambisa to Chibok gives the Yidan Poga sleepless nights.

“Why should Sambisa exist? This is what I was thinking, why shouldn’t they make Sambisa become a desert? They should attack this Sambisa forest, it is true there will be collateral damage if they leave Sambisa and these people go to somewhere and kill more people and they run to Sambisa and you leave them because they are using human shields.

“Sometimes I think would it not be better to attack Sambisa, we are not saying they should burn Sambisa, they should match gradually with these armoured weapons and bomb detectors, we know there will be some few casualties but I think it will not be wise to be leaving Sambisa for years because they are keeping some people and then allow many more to die, this is my personal thinking I really don’t know. It is giving me sleepless nights,” he lamented.

The Chief said the people of Chibok are grateful to the world for the support it has received but Chibok remains a prime target for the terrorists.” They want attention, if they attack Chibok they will have a global attention that is why everyone must continue to speak up for us.”

Christmas in Chibok

Around 6:00 am on Christmas day 2016, the voice of an itinerant preacher broke through the violet cold wind which had descended on the town.

Moving from one dusty street to the other, he yelled into a loudspeaker “God is wonderful, his mercies endureth forever.” Soon he began to describe the “enduring loving of Christ” and urged those who are yet to do so to turn their lives over to Jesus Christ after which he wished everyone a “happy Christmas.” The people of Chibok who may have heard the unknown preacher could relate to the message of “the mercies of the Lord,” which the long-suffering people of the town are badly in need of.

Pa Allen wore his white agbada and began to walk with great strides to the EYN, Lutheran Church of Christ LCC. The church would witness its first Christmas celebration in the new building partially paid for by the Borno State Government. All over Chibok, children braved the harmattan and the wind to observe the age-long tradition of exchange of food especially with their Muslim neighbours.

During the 2014 attack, all the churches in Chibok were destroyed, the EYN lost everything and it took a long time to recover. The service was conducted in a mixture of Hausa and Kibaku, the language of the Chibok people.

There was no instrument and the microphone constantly misbehaves, the choir master hums the hymn and then the congregation followed, it was a solemn service by a determined people. The pastor preached from Isaiah 62:8 “Surely, I will no longer give your food as grain for your enemies; and the sons of the foreigner shall not drink your new wine, for which you have laboured.” It was a scripture that the people can relate to especially the displaced people of nearby Kumjalari whose grains are currently food for Boko Haram insurgents.

The parishioners have thrown their fears into the singing, groups came up one after the other to sing and ‘raise some dust’ with rigorous and energetic dancing. And sometimes, they sang sorrowful songs, a very emotional moment for the grieving parents.

Nothing can be taken for granted in Chibok, earlier in December, the people received a letter purportedly from Boko Haram informing them of an impending attack on December 15 or 16 2016. Security details in the town was tripled and a curfew from 6: pm to 6: was imposed on the main Aja road.

For every service in the churches and mosques, a detachment of soldiers and vigilantes are deployed to provide reassurance. Pastor Peter Ayuba of LCC said Christmas celebration in 2016 was the best since the abduction.

“We have many more people despite the scare from Boko Haram, people turned out to praise God as we continue to hope that everything that was lost in this town will come back,” he said. At 2: pm, Chibok came alive; the village Christmas dance which was abandoned during the insurgency would hold this year. It has been the talk all day and the space opposite EYN 2 was already filled up.

Security was provided and everyone going into the arena was screened. The dance carnival was the biggest gathering of the year and indigenes who had been in Maiduguri, Lagos and other cities were eager to prove their new social status. Everyone wore new clothes and shoes and carry on in pretended elitism.

Inside the dance arena, dancers march around the drummers and singers. For hours they circle the musicians dancing to various local songs, kicking up so much dust and leaving everyone white as snow. At 5:10 pm, the dance came to an end and social connections began, young boys ran after the girls determined to impress with their new outfits.

“Only a foolish girl will fall for these boys in borrowed shoes and Jackets,” Esther Allen said. In the night, the Allen homestead played host to a lot of young men and girls, who had come to lessen the night. It was the place to talk about the latest trends and impress with knowledge. One of the young people was 18-year-old Shuaibu Madu who considered himself superior to others because he had been to Lagos and spoke smattering Pidgin English.

Shuaibu

Shuaibu ran to Lagos when Boko Haram invaded the town where he stayed for one year in Ajah selling recharge cards. “ I am a Lagosian, now in Chibok all the girls are running after me, they are saying Lagosian come let me kiss you,” he said provoking prolong laughter into the teeth of the night.

Shuaibu is better than his twin sister Awa, a Senior Secondary 2 students who could not speak any sentence in English. “This one is ‘mumu’ (dullard), I have been trying to teach her English but she no gree,” Shuaibu said dismissing his sister, who provoked by the attack, tried unsuccessfully to repel it in English.

No homecoming for Chibok girls When news arrived in Chibok about the homecoming of the 21 freed school girls, there was wild jubilation especially among the relatives of the girls. There would be a lot to catch up on; there would be the Christmas celebration and the dance carnival to follow.

None of the released girls came from Chibok town itself but from the surrounding villages and hamlets. Family members waited for the girls in Chibok, expecting to have some private moments with their daughters.

The girls arrived in a convoy of security details and made straight for the expansive compound of the member representing Chibok in the State House of Assembly, Aimu Foni. But it was not the homecoming the people of Chibok had dreamt, there would be no church service on Christmas day, neither would the girls attend the anticipated Christmas dance carnival.

The massive security build-up to the girls’ arrival saw the Brigade Commander, 28 Task Force Brigade Mubi, Brigadier General Felix Omoigui also relocating to Chibok. Apart from the Army, there were the personnel of the Department of State Security (DSS) the Nigeria Police Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) with the operational name of CRACK, the Nigeria Peace Corps, The Civilian Joint Task Force (CJTF), Borno

State Vigilante Group, and the Baka Boys etc.

The security operatives were assisted by two armoured tanks and several Ak-47 rifles, only the parents of the girls were allowed into the house and that is after vetting and delay. Since their arrival, the girls were not allowed to come out of the rooms despite their protestations. Family members who were fortunate to see them were not allowed to take pictures.

“We have been waiting since 7:00am to see our daughter but the security is preventing us, we are not from Chibok and we have to ride a bicycle for two hours to get to our village, we do not understand why the government is hiding them,” a parent complained.

The residents of Chibok began to resent the increasing restrictions on their movements around the Aimu Foni compound. A member of the vigilante group who was also drafted to the girls details said: “The grip of the military over the girls is stifling, what would have been better than putting the girls in a uniform and escorting them to the

dance yesterday, let them mingle with their friends, it would have been a good therapeutic healing for the girls.

“There are more than 3000 people at the carnival, what they are saying is that the lives of the 21 girls are more important than that of the whole of the people here at the dance,” he said. The Nation also gathered from relatives who had seen the girls that there was something close to a mutiny as the girls continued to demand a chance to come out to Chibok town if not to their own villages. It was also learnt that the girls went on hunger strike on December 24, to press home their claims.

But a high-ranking security operative told The Nation that the security of the girls is of utmost importance. The official who pleaded anonymity said there are security reports that Boko Haram may want to embarrass the government by recapturing the girls. “The families should please exercise patience, we have a red alert and we have instructions to protect these girls with everything we have got.

Soon, everything will be okay,” the official said.

Winning hearts and mind

Many of the soldiers deployed to Chibok are veterans of the war on the insurgency in the Northeast. According to some of them who spoke on strict conditions of anonymity, they had seen action in faraway places like Birte, Mubi, Alaganna, Biu and Sambisa forest.

“We were the ones that captured Mubi, it was a fierce battle but we drove away the Boko Haram and killed so many of them,” a private soldier said as he held on firmly to his Ak-47 rifle. The soldier later went to Biu where he described an elaborate fight against the insurgents which resulted in the total annihilation of the terrorists.

“Chibok is peaceful, that is why people can go to church, I have been here for only eight months and I have not seen anything unusual, we are hoping by next year we will be able to go home back to normal

duties,” he said.

His team leader a Corporal wearing crisp, clean uniform agreed with him. “Our Baba (Chief of Army Staff, Lieutenant General Turkur Buratai) has said we will return to the barracks next year, we believe in honestly. I cannot wait to see my family again.” The Corporal was

one of the soldiers who retook Chibok from the insurgents. To prove the veracity of his claims, he took out his phone and opened to a note he had on it. “See, I wrote it down that day. November 13th, 2014, Chibok on fire,” he then gave a handsome smile which lit up his youthful face. “You cannot stand here, when those people came, it was like a herd of cows, my brother, it was fire that day, no one can forget.”

There has been relative peace in Chibok ever since thanks to the successive innovative commanding officers posted to the town. Holding and locking down Chibok is no mean task as the town is surrounded by villages still in the hands of the insurgents and the borders are porous and almost endless, giving terrorists multiple options of entry.

One of the innovative ways introduced by the army is the motorcycle patrol of the various entry points into the town. Armed soldiers made a duty of cycling round the bush into the far outposts of the town, every day. Also, communication posts are built all around Chibok; The Nation also ventured far into the borders around the town and found soldiers in trenches in the bush. One location was commanded by a Lieutenant who was assisted by a Staff Sergeant.

Despite the haze and cold, the soldiers remained at their duty post, they looked white, eyes devoid of sleep and their palms were coarse and hard when they shook hands.

The soldiers have been able to integrate with the local population; they visit the markets, attend to the needs of the people and provide specialized services for them. The people have also come to trust the soldiers knowing many of them by name.

On Christmas day, many families tried to outdo each other in providing food and drinks for the security personnel.” The people here appreciate us, some of us are learning the language to better interact with them and win their trust,” a soldier said.

The soldiers too have known fear. On the night of the abduction, only 15 men were on guard in the town led by a Lieutenant Godknows. It was a bad night for the soldiers, outgunned, outnumbered and caught in surprise, the soldiers retreated, one died from the shock, “Boko Haram didn’t touch him, it was the shock that killed him,” an elder said.

But there is anger in Chibok over the fate of Lieutenant Godknows and his men. There were rumours that they were court-martialed and jailed for failing in Chibok. The Nation could not confirm the true position before the publication of this story.

“It is not cowardness to withdraw when you are faced with a superior power, what will 15 soldiers do when Boko Haram came with over 200 fighters with RPG and heavy artillery, even the US Marines cannot withstand them. We are asking the government to release Godknows, he did the best for us and we are unhappy that he is being punished,” a CJTF member who said he joined in the war as a tribute to Godknows said.

Chibok IDPs: We are left to suffer On the northern outpost of Chibok, there are 20 new building built of

red bricks lying in a rectangular form. These buildings house the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) from nearby villages of Kumjalari, Kubrivu, Kaumutayahi, Kakilmari and Kwada. The houses were built by the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR).

On Christmas day, about six children played in the sand in front of one of the houses, the house belonged to Sunday Garba, the spokesperson of the IDPs. In 2014, he had escaped from Kumjalari with

his family after Boko Haram struck. Now resident in Chibok, life could not have been more bitter.

“There is no Christmas for these children,” he said pointing to the bare feet, dirty children chasing each other in the sand. “Who will buy chicken for them, there is nothing for them to eat,” he said in a despondent voice.

Garba had known prosperous past, he was a big time farmer harvesting more than 100 sacks of guinea corn, but that is now history, he now works as a farm hand in Chibok. Sunday Kabir has joined the local vigilante; it was his way of fighting back after he was forced to leave Kumjalari four years ago.

“We have lost everything, we don’t have anything for Christmas so what do we do?” he lamented. The plight of the IDPs from the surrounding villages is telling. After the villages were sacked, they returned to their farms and planted. But as if on cue, Boko Haram fighters emerged from nowhere and chased the farmers away just as harvest was to begin.

“When our wives tried to get some food from the farms so that we won’t starve, they were chased away by Boko Haram. The terrorists have harvested our guinea corn and they are right now as we speak harvesting our beans, how do we survive now?” Kabir asked.

In Chibok, there are more than 200 IDPs living in squalor, at least two families share one room and conveniences are open to many more families. Here, there is neither privacy nor decency. “We are suffering here; we have no food, no mat to sleep on and no clothes.

Many of us escaped with nothing except the clothes on our backs,” Garba said.

Even though much of Borno state has been retaken from the insurgents many villages around Chibok are still in the hands of the terrorists. A contingent of soldiers was stationed at Kwaja but the refugees accused the soldiers of not venturing to capture other villages around Kwaja.

“When our wives went to harvest and were chased away, they ran to the soldiers in Kwaja which is only five kilometers from Kumjalari but the

soldiers refused to follow them, also when we lost some CJTF people and asked the soldiers to escort us to remove the corpses, they refused,” Kabir alleged.

While government and the international communities have focused attention on the IDP camps in the big cities, the refugees in Chibok are largely forgotten. With their food in the hands of Boko Haram, the refugees, once proud and prosperous farmers have resorted to begging.

But Chibok is not a place to beg, whatever was left in the earth was not enough for the people and they can ill afford to feed extra mouths. “ That is why the children go hungry, they are not in school and they have no clothes to wear,” Kabir lamented.

“If I am not released, let us meet in heaven” Paul Lailai and Yusuf Madu are united not only by their coming from the same village of Bulabam but together in grief mourning their missing daughters. The two had left their village for the almost two hours bicycle ride to Chibok when they heard 21 colleagues of their daughters would be in town from Abuja.

The girls who were recently released from Boko Haram captivity had been in the custody of the Federal Government. Two days before Christmas, they were ferried to Chibok to celebrate with their families. Paul and Madu hoped they would be able to get some information from the girls. Paul’s missing daughters are Ladi and Mary while Madu’s daughter is Christiana.

“I did not see my children when the Boko Haram released their video, I cry everything I think about what they are going through,” Paul said.

In the past two days, the two had remained in Chibok struggling to come to terms with the reality that they would not hug their children, at least not yet.

When Madu spoke, his voice carried no strength, it sounded hollow and far away. “ I looked through the pictures released by Boko Haram and I didn’t see my daughter Christiana, that is why I came to find out if there is any news of her,” Madu said.

He was in luck. One of the released girls had a message from Christiana to her parents and the message was not heartwarming. “She told one of the girls to tell us she is alive but there is no way she could escape. She said greet my parents and my younger ones, tell them if it is God’s will I will see them again, if not, we will meet in heaven.

“When I heard that, I cried and did not eat, Christiana was the child who looked after me, sometimes I feel it is better I am not around in the world but I believe if I am alive I will see her again,” Madu said.

The parents of the missing girls had lived in frustrated hope.” Whenever the local government calls us for a meeting and we return home, the mother would ask if it was good news, when we reply in the negative, all the women and the children would begin to cry,” Madu added.

For 60-year-old Rebeka Nteke, the tears are yet to cease. When Abubakar Shekau released a video of the girls, she saw something that gave her grief and hope; her daughter, Hauwa Nteke. “I still thank God but I am looking for my daughter, I saw her in the video but I know one day she will be back,” she said and then began to cry.

Bitrus Yanna, the father of Ruth Bitrus fares no better. When Ruth was abducted, he joined the group of villagers who went after Boko Haram in the hope of finding the girls. “ I went as far as Selari and Zangore but I could not locate her. When it happened and the government did not believe us, I was very angry but now I have left everything in the hands of God while praying that she will return to us,” Yanna said.

Mariam Wavi’s mother has remained devastated. Unable to cope with the abduction of her daughter, she has relocated to her ancestral village.

Mariam’s absence has left a gaping hole in the lives of her parents because they are both blind. Mariam’s brother, Bitrus has been consoling her, giving her hope. “ What can we do, she is yet to return but we are hoping. Our mother is devastated because she was really the main helper of our parents,” he said.

When Mariam was taken, Bitrus took a motorcycle, armed with a stick, he pursued the terrorists in vain, over two years after, he is struggling with the reality that she may not return.

The other Army Paul Martins (surname changed) has been sitting on a tree trunk on Chibok- Damboa road for two hours, like the hundreds of schoolchildren who were dragged out of their holiday to welcome the governor, he was tired and hungry.

“ The governor should have told us he is not coming, we have been waiting since 10:am, there is no food, there is no money, we are just here,” he groaned. Paul has more reasons to be despondent, as a member

of the CJTF, he claimed he has not received any payment for the past six months since he signed up.

“ We buy our own uniforms, we buy our own bullets and we don’t get paid to fight Boko Haram, we just feel that we cannot be running away from men like us, we both have one life, lets exchange bullets and if

I die, then that is it,” Paul said.

But he has not always been brave, when the insurgents struck in November 2014, Paul trekked to Biu, encountered countless obstacles and found his way to Anambra state to his in-laws. Six months ago,

tired of running, he came back to Chibok, signed up with the CJTF, bought his gun and bullets and went to the trenches.

The security of Chibok though rests on the Army, credit must also be given to the CJTF and the local vigilante. Armed with Dane guns and local charms, the young boys and old hunters helped chase Boko Haram fighters away from Chibok.

These volunteers according to investigations were spurred on by love for country and community and are not paid for their services. There was a man, one of the leaders of the CJTF in Chibok simply known as Bamal-Gana or Bagana. This Bagana was a great hunter, possessing terrifying magic; members of the CTJF claimed that he cannot be killed by iron or bullet.

In the last week of November 2016, Bagana led some of his men to Shawar village, about 10 kilometers West of Chibok. “ We have secured the place but some of us stepped on these bomb they plant inside the

ground (IED), then Boko Haram came out and started firing at us, we responded and killed some of them before we could get away but three of us died including Bagana,” one of the men who participated in the raid said.

But the CJTF has not been able to recover the corpse of their fallen colleagues and properly mourn them. “Bagana was fearless, Boko Haram can’t kill him, even in battle when soldiers turn back he won’t, his

death is a huge loss and the government has not even sent condolences to his family, he had three wives and many children,” the man said.

Two other commanders who spoke to The Nation said if the CJTF had Ak-47 or a pump action rifle, they would vanquish Boko Haram in no time. “We fought with our cartridge guns and captured many towns, what we really need is a pump action we would finish Boko Haram, but who will buy it for us?

The vigilante was reborn after the abduction of the school girls, since then, they have remained an integral part of the security apparatus of Chibok. Usually dressed in brown uniform, the vigilantes looked hungry and sad. Also working without salaries, they are poorly armed with Dane guns and charms.

“We are here to protect our community, we may not be paid but we are determined to protect our families, we can’t just sit and wait for them to be captured again,” one of the vigilantes said.

December 26, 2016 Activities began early in preparation for the visit of the governor of Borno state, Kashim Shetimma, a town crier had gone round the villages asking school children to dress in uniform to welcome the governor. Soon politicians arrived, intimidating the people with their security details, at 11: am, the students of the three schools lined up in the harmattan on Aja road, awaiting the governor.

It was a wait for godot, the children stood in the dust for many hours as the governor was said to be in Damboa, there was no food or water for them, the teachers and security details also got frustrated. With strength failing, the children lay on the dusty dirty road, the teacher too at the end of their patience could only look on helpless.

At exactly 3:00 pm, as if on cue, the students began to march to their homes, starting with the smaller kids, soon the welcome party was over, the kids were determined not to wait any longer despite protestations from the teachers.

The governor finally arrived at 5:00 pm, but the majority of the relatives of the Chibok girls had left in anger unable to see their daughters. “ My village is two hours away, by 6:00 pm, there will be a curfew and I will have nowhere to sleep,” a parent who had spent the better part of the day in a shouting bout with the soldiers said. He then mounted his bicycle and began to ride furiously out of Chibok. Ten minutes later, the governor arrived.

[news_list display=”tag” tag=”Chibok” sort=”ASC” count=”2″ show_more=”on”]

December 31, 2016
Useful parenting skills (Part 1)

DEAR Harriet, I am a young man planning to settle down with my long-time sweetheart in a couple of months.

Please, I want you to advise us on the necessary parenting skills we need.

Thanks.

Mr. Henry U, Lagos.

There is actually nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, knowing that it is an aspect of life that is most challenging. It gives a better attitude to parenting because it will test your nerves, emotion, strength and, at times, your sanity.

Bearing these in mind will help you have a proper approach in dealing with different stages; starting with the sleepless night of nurturing , changing of nappies and potty training. Just when you think you have got one phase of childhood cracked, others grow a bit older and it is a whole new game altogether.

The pattern changes as children progress from one stage to another. Some parents at this point get confused, not knowing how to relate with their children. Some shy away from their responsibilities, and this makes it difficult for them to understand their children, while some parents are in closer relationship with their children.

As a result, they find it much easier to impact the necessary family values that they need to grow up as responsible adults which will be of great benefit to the family and society at large.

Some people believe that parenting skills should come naturally, but sometimes we all need a bit of help and support. That is why parenting skills are something we learn, not something we are born with.

These are the benefits you enjoy once you develop your parenting skills. They are as follows: a clear understanding on how to handle different situations at different stages in raising children.

They help to develop a closer relationship with your children, provide ways to handle certain issues like behavioural problems, discipline, education, rewards and even stress management. These in return will create healthier, happier households where children thrive.

They help us as parents to evaluate ourselves, and then start correcting our little flaws or rather bad habits as well as introducing new more helpful ones for us and members of our household. We learn every day in life to improve ourselves.

Learning about those first crucial years of the life of your children, how to use positive discipline to correct them, avoiding power struggles, and how to determine a need from want.

Parenting skills:

When it comes to parenting, there are certain elements that make a parent skilled. These skills won’t always be appreciated by your children, most likely not until your children are parent themselves.

Being a parent is really not about winning a popularity contest. It can be a difficult line to walk, knowing that it is not a part-time activity, but a full-time and dedicated practice. As mentioned, parenting is a learning experience. It is always better to learn from mistakes because there are no perfect parents.

Likewise, every child differs in mental attitudes, dislikes and likes. Applying the same method on every child can be destructive, bearing in mind that every child is different and unique in their own ways. Using your own experiences will only help to certain extent.

Psychologist, Bowlby, proposed a theory whereby he constructed an “internal working model”. This model suggests that our future relationships are a reflection of our relationships with our primary caregivers (parents). Bowlby suggests that we will emulate the caregiving strategies of our parents. For example, if our parents spank us, there is the tendency of us repeating same action with our children because it worked for them in their own childrearing.

Therefore, it will be wise to look back and analyze how you were brought up and amend some mistakes made by your parents as you embrace new useful parenting skills.

Communication: Have a good relationship with your children by interacting with them regularly. Be approachable. Every family has what is deemed right or wrong, depending on its background. With this reason, a family should plan and communicate their expectations such as social, academic, religious, family values, personal appearance and hygiene.

Some expectations are more demanding than others. As a result, parents should take into consideration the children’s ages, ability, developmental status and resource that are available to the family.

These expectations should be communicated to them clearly in words and indeed. Having a family meeting is also a way of clarification and expression of the expectations between parents and children.

Communication is incomplete, if the act of listening is not taken into consideration. Listen to what your children have to say. Parents are so busy, telling children what to do most times without listening to their concern. Ask them what are their hopes, fears and anxieties. The better you understand the needs of your children the better parent you are.

Stick to your rules; let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Whether it is when you discipline your child or not, rules need to be enforced after they are made. Good parenting skills require you to stick to any rules you establish. If you show them that you can make and break rules, they will think rules are made to be broken.

To be continued

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

December 31, 2016
How to avoid mistakes in relationship (2)

HERE are more useful tips that will be of great assistance to those who have been out of relationships for a while and people who are of age that at the verge of going into a relationship for the first time.

In the previous edition, we mentioned the following: making your first date short and casual, letting go of the past, personal space, getting a life and avoiding unnecessary jealousy.

This review is necessary for readers who are joining us for the first time. Total dependence can put a strain on your relationship; always depending on your friend or partner can affect your relationship. When you keep asking from a person all the time, let’s face it we are human, it will get to a point where the person cannot take it any longer.

The effect is that less attention or avoidance will then set in because of the constant demands. Relationships thrive when there is a level of independence, a situation where you don’t solely rely on your partner or friend for everything. It will interest you to know that most of the mails I receive from those seeking relationships or life partners have financial independence as the common requirement in demand.

This goes to show that majority do not want liability. Besides it pays a lot to be empowered no matter the situation. Next is to try as much as possible to know your place; it is very important to know and maintain your position in a relationship. Some people misinterpret certain actions to suit their personal intension without seeking proper clarification. Avoid playing the role of a wife or husband until you are declared one.

In addition, unrealistic expectation cannot be left out when mentioning mistakes in relationships; expectations are good, but must be discussed together. After all, everybody goes into a relationship for instance with some level of expectation, depending on individual needs, but the challenge is when such expectations are not actualized because of the fact that they are not practical. This can affect the relationship.

Knowing the warning signs: The signs are always there when the relationship is no longer the same, but in most cases, people seem to ignore the signs by not addressing necessary issues. Numerous indicators can warn that a relationship may be heading for the rocks or at least for some sandbars.

Avoid taking things for granted and be observant. Many get carried away without taking note of certain details. It is always proper to use your head in matters of the heart.

However, setting of boundaries must not be neglected in avoiding mistakes in relationships because boundaries define who you are, it reinforces the fact that you are different and unique from others. Boundaries explain what you think and feel, as well as what you are ready to tolerate.

They also define your preferences, your likes and dislikes. Most importantly boundaries help you determine for what you are and are not responsible. A healthy dating relationship requires good, solid and well-defined relational boundaries.

Lack of patience for the relationship to take its natural course: Taking it slowly allows you to get to know each other better with time. Most relationships can be classified into four stages. The initial stage is the period when you are simply testing the waters to see if you like the person or not.

Then, next is regarded as the infatuation stage. This is the time you are madly in love with the person and absolutely blind to his or her faults. This can drag on for a long time, everything is happening so fast.

Thirdly is the stage of reality bite which occurs when you suddenly discover that your perfect friend or partner is not that perfect after all. Finally is the stage where you are caught between staying and maintaining the relationship in order to advance to the next level or let go of the relationship and move on.

Therefore, with a clear understanding of the various stages gives the ability to take things easy by allowing the relationship grow at its own pace without rush. Trying to change your friend or partner to suit your specification is always a big mistake.

Our personalities are different. So, in a situation where you go into a relationship with the mindset to change the other person is not a good idea because you can only change yourself, not your friend or partner, but knowing and accepting the fact that everybody has their strength and weakness is a better approach instead. Don’t try to change them. What you can do is to learn how to accept them for who they are.

Being too desperate to get into a relationship is a major and universal mistake, especially for those who feel that time is running out. Biological clock is ticking fast. As a result, they panic and are ready to settle for any one so long they are in a relationship. Wanting a relationship is just not the same as waiting to be in a relationship with a special person.

Finally, putting the above points into consideration will help your avoid certain mistakes for your relationship to run smoothly and for your protection from the pain of contemporary dating pitfalls. As a result, you will be on your way to building a loving and lasting relationship.

Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com. You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

December 24, 2016
The A to Z of skin care (2)

Niacinamide: A form of vitamin B3, this compound strengthens the skin’s outer layers, improves elasticity and soothes any redness or irritation. And is found wherever vitamins are sold.

Oxybenzone: Now, back to sunscreen. This ingredient absorbs UVB rays, so it is often combined with avobenzone (which absorbs UVA light) to create broad-spectrum sun protection.

Peptides: These are tiny protein particles that signal your skin to produce collagen (which, again, helps to plump up fine lines and wrinkles). You’ll often see them marketed as ingredients in moisturizers and anti-aging creams.

Quercetin: If you see this on any of your product labels, know that it’s an antioxidant derived from purple grapes and green tea to fight free-radical damage.

Retinol: Long considered the gold standard in anti-aging ingredients, this vitamin A derivative encourages cell turnover and increases the production of hyaluronic acid and collagen, which makes it a great treatment for acne, in reducing hyper pigmentation, and smoothing fine lines.

Salicylic acid: This is commonly found in products for acne-prone skin, this beta hydroxy acid removes excess oil, and dead cells from the skin’s surface to help keep it clear.

Titanium dioxide: This big sounding word is just a mineral filter found in many all-natural sunscreen formulas that shields the skin from UVA and UVB rays.

Urea: A potent humectant (any ingredient that attracts water from the environment to the skin), it is often used in moisturizers because of its ability to keep skin moist while also exfoliating dead skin cells.

Vitamin C: You know what vitamin C is. But did you know it goes beyond fighting just colds? Also known as ascorbic acid, this antioxidant boosts collagen production, and inhibits pigment formation to treat and prevent spots from forming.

Whey protein: Derived from milk, this supplement (popular in powdered form for protein shakes) is actually known to strengthen skin, hair and nails, in addition to the obvious muscular benefits.

Xanthan gum: This natural thickening agent helps to stabilize liquids in skincare products, and many more things in our lives.

Yeast extract: When applied to the skin, this reparative ingredient improves the firmness and smoothness of skin without being too harsh.

Zinc oxide: A commonly used ingredient in sunscreen, this gentle filter offers UV protection with an extremely low risk of irritation, making it ideal for sensitive skin types.

December 10, 2016