Category: Sister’s Only

  • Four qualities of a Player

    Four qualities of a Player

    A couple of years ago, Trisha met Donald in on her way to work, and they exchanged numbers, at first Donald would call Trisha and they would chat, later on he would pick her up from her  office after work and drop her off at home. He claimed that he lived at Epe, but always dropped her at her Surulere apartment every evening, before retiring to his sister’s apartment at Ojuelegba. And never introduced Trisha to his sister. When he started asking her to loan him money, she stopped taking his calls, and asked her staff not to allow him into her office. Years later, they ran into each other, and he admitted that he had been in a relationship with the woman he was living with at the time he met her, but claimed that the relationship was over. Trisha was lucky enough to have avoided a player, and is now happily married to a wonderful husband- a real man. So how do you recognize a player? Enjoy;

    1. Lies a lot – A player’s stories never add up. As I have mentioned times without number, when dealing with a man, never listen to what he says, rather look at his actions, actions don’t lie. So you are dating a guy who says one thing and does something else, please watch out, he might have something under his sleeves. If he says he will call, and never does, claiming to be too busy, or says he is in one place and you discover that he is elsewhere, the list goes on.
    2. Won’t invite you to his house or office– The most natural thing to do when you are getting to know someone is to be invited to their homes or/and office. When a regular date becomes a serious relationship, and you still don’t know his office or house, it might be that he has something to hide. Like Donald, who was living with a woman whom he claimed was his sister, and never introduced to Trisha, how many ladies are wise enough to smell a rat? If he won’t show you his house, friends, or relatives; there is a reason. Please investigate.
    3. Attempts to turn you to his ATM with his hard luck stories – I can’t count the number of times I have come across the hard luck stories of ladies who gave their love and money to guys, and the guys took off. It never seems to end well, even when the men marry them, the likelihood of them becoming the breadwinners to the women who fended for them in the past remains low. Only this week, a relative of mine was beaten black and blue by her husband; a rich man she married when he had no job. She was actually feeding and clothing the guy. Unbelievably, today, she is responsible for feeding, school fees, and welfare of their four kids, even though he is now very rich, and owns Petrol stations today, can you believe that? Oh, and he also acquired a new wife.
    4. Almost always wants to rush you to have sex with him – The decision to have sex with a man you are not married to is a personal decision for the female to make. The player is always in a hurry to get you in his bed, promising you the world for it. Only, afterwards you might find that he is making the same promises to any number of ladies out there. My take on the issue of pre-marital sex? Never give in just because you want to please him. If you want to become the village mattress, it is okay if that is what you want, but remember, the risk is that you might just be another one of the babes he uses and dumps. I like the way the Americans put it, “If he likes it, he should put a ring on it.” Enough said.
  • 3 Reasons you should not fund him.

    Today we will be discussing a very contentious topic, “To fund or not fund”. It might seem like a tricky question but it is never a good idea to buy love, especially if you are a woman. Why on earth should a woman give a man (who is not even her husband) her money? Not a good idea at all! Back in the day, men took care of their wives and families, and ruled their households like mini fiefdoms. Times have changed, and women now make their own money, but men still expect us to submit, so what do we do? We submit, if only for the sake of peace. However, if a woman has to foot the bill, she has become the boss, not just a helpmate. So why do I think so?

     

    The man was designed to be the head in every marital/amorous relationship, and if he is the leader, he should foot the bills (or at least a large part of it). Why? Because money is power, whoever has it controls the power dynamics of the relationship. In all my years, I am yet to come across a man who is happy to be fed or funded by a woman, they might date (or even marry) a woman for her money, but trust me more often than not they will find a less financially buoyant woman to spend their change on, so as to feel like men.

     

    Giving a man your money puts you at risk of attracting gold diggers/gigolos. Only yesterday, I read the story of a divorced silver spoon celebrity chick. She said, “I really loved him, but when I had a financial challenge, he took off. Apparently, that was all he wanted.” Guess what, the guy in question is remarried to a younger woman today. Speaking further, she said, “I have never dated a man for money, however in another relationship; a man took my hard earned money, and ran.” Guess what? Her story is nothing new, I am yet to see an instance where the woman funded the relationship and it worked out. The only female relative I know who tried it put a man through university, clothed, housed and fed him, his mom, and siblings for years, while he was unemployed. When he finally got a job, she never set eyes again on him; after three kids.

     

    You can never really tell if it is you he loves or your money. Modern females are educated and independent, but marriage demands that we submit to our man. How does a person submit to a man one is feeding? More often than not, such women become / are accused of being shrewish, and the men feel justified in taking off. What about an old friend of mine who dated a guy while she was putting herself through the university. She would feed him, and spend her heard earned savings on him, guess the first thing he did after he graduated? That’s right, he dumped her. Obviously he never loved her, only her money. My advice? Do yourself a favour, and find yourself a man who has a job. Oh, and just in case he attempts to turn you to his ATM; dump him.

     

  • Woman value 10

    I GOT talking with a group of ladies earlier in the week, and found the topic very interesting, it was the question of feminine worth or simply put the value men place on their wives. Let me explain, have you ever come across a single or married woman whose man treats her like crap? He disrespects her, talks to her roughly or with disdain, carries on with other woman to her knowledge with reckless abandon, some even keep late nights or spend nights away from home; making it obvious that they have other women. Yet, there is another group of women, whose men adore them. They are not necessarily the most beautiful of women but their men treat them like queens, even though neither of them is perfect. Even when such men choose to philander, they do it discreetly, and make it obvious that they love and respect their wives too much to treat them with disrespect. What differentiates women in both groups? It is their perceived worth in the eyes of their men.

    A young seventeen year old man moves to a new country and sees falls in love with his master’s daughter at first sight, so he offers to work for seven years for the man just so he can marry the girl. The man agrees, and after seven years, is ready for the wedding. After the wedding, he was livid to discover that he was given the elder sister instead. But his in-law explained to him that it was against their custom to give out the younger sister before the elder. But is told that he can have the younger daughter for another seven years of service, the love struck man agrees and serves another seven years for the selfsame maiden. In present day Nigeria, assuming the young man’s salary was fifteen thousand naira monthly, the value of the dowry would be two million five hundred and twenty thousand naira only. That was the dowry the groom himself set. Can you imagine that? Do you think that a man who paid so much as dowry for a woman would dare to treat her with disrespect? I think not.

    Unfortunately, many women today have become cheap in the name of love. A man will manage anything, but will only value and respect a woman of worth. I remember an uncle of mine whose wife always complained of his lifestyle; he never got home before 1 am, kept a harem of women, and generally made it obvious that she was not a priority. But I vividly remember overhearing as a teenager him telling my mum that even though she was not his type, she was all he could afford at the time; she was available, and cheap, often leaving her parents house in the village to squat with him in his guardians house in Lagos. He intended to date her until he got a better job, he would then take her out a couple of times, and buy her a couple of clothes to settle her off. The good job was a long time coming, so she moved in with him during that time, and had two kids. They only got married after both kids were grown, but guess what? He never appreciated her, even though she stayed with him when he had nothing, why? The simple reason is that she never had his heart in the first place. How many men value “Iyawo nylon bag?” I mean women who just move in with men without the benefit of marriage, or women who trapped men into marriage with pregnancy. I can’t count the number of women who have gotten burnt by this practice, yet many continue to toe that path. As the daughter of a doting father, I can’t imagine why a girl would move into a man’s house without him doing the honourable thing, when a man on fifteen thousand naira monthly salary paid over two million for a girl like you, methinks it’s time we used our tongues to count our teeth.

  • Finding Rosie (5)

     

    Then one day about two days before Chief and I were to travel to see my parents for the introduction, he came to my office one evening.

    “JB, what are you doing here?” I asked on seeing him at the reception.

    “I had to see you. Look, Rosie, we really need to talk. Can we go somewhere quiet, away from distractions? Please?” he pleaded. I was almost closing for the day anyway so I told him to wait while I went to get my bag and other stuff from my office.

    He drove to an eatery a short distance away from my office. The place was quiet as there were not many customers at that time of the day.

    “What will you like to drink? Or will you like to eat something?” he asked when we sat down. I was not in the mood for drinking or eating for that matter. I simply wanted to hear whatever he had to say and go home.

    I shook my head.

    “I’m ok. I ate at the office not too long ago,” I replied. As he walked towards the counter to get some drinks, my phone rang.

    It was Chief. He wanted to know when I would be closing from work and if I could come over to his house later.

    “We need to see to finalize the plans for our visit to your family in a few days’ time,” he said.

    I told him it was not possible as I was working late.

    “Let’s see tomorrow, Chief. I’ll try to close early and come over to your place,” I said. He agreed and we chatted for a while before hanging up.

    “Who was that?” JB asked on his return to our table. When I told him it was Chief, he grumbled:

    “What does he want now? Can’t he allow you rest for ten minutes?”

    “In case you have forgotten, we are getting married and we have wedding plans to make,” I retorted.

    “Not if I have anything to do with it,” he said as he offered me one of the drinks he had brought.

    Then taking my hand across the table, JB said softly:

    “Rosie dear, you and I know this marriage between you and my Uncle is a sham. You don’t love him; you admitted yourself that you are just fond of him. How can you go into marriage with a man you don’t have feelings for?”

    “How I feel about him is my business not yours,” I stated shortly.

    “That’s where you get it wrong. Whatever happens to you is my business. Why? Because I love you Rosie! And I’m ready to do anything to get you back!” he declared.

    “What makes you so sure I want to get back with you?” I asked.

    “I’m sure because I know you still feel something for me. Look into my eyes and say you don’t love me and I will walk away right now and not bother you again,” he said.

    I averted my eyes and looked anywhere else but at him. I should have walked away then and things would have stayed as they were. But my errant heart betrayed me that night. I just could not lie to myself that I no longer felt anything for him. Being so close to him brought back all the old emotions and feelings and I just could not help myself.

    We sat talking for some time before leaving the restaurant. On getting home JB said he was hungry so I prepared some rice for him. As he ate and I sat watching him, I realized then that this was what I really wanted: being together with JB, sharing our lives and loving each other again…

     

    A fresh start

    “Rosie, you can’t be serious! You can’t just break up with Chief like that! It’s not right!” my friend Helena stated vehemently the following day. I had just told her what had transpired between JB and I the night before, how we had resolved our differences and decided to start afresh.

    “Why not?” I retorted. “It’s my life and I have the right to decide who I want to be with! Right now, it’s JB I want.”

    “And what about Chief? What are you going to tell him? That you have dumped him for some one else? And his own nephew for that matter? Rosie, that’s really wicked of you!” Helena stated hotly.

    The fact is I did not really care how Chief would feel. Afterall, I reasoned, he was the one who was more keen on this marriage than I. I did not love him, I only liked him. JB was my one true love and now that he had come back into my life, it would be foolish of me not to grab at a chance at happiness.

    “I feel bad about Chief. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him that the wedding is off, a day before our introduction. He will be devastated. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have to follow my heart; that means JB,” I stated convincingly.

    “I hope you know what you are doing. And as for JB, can you really trust him? I hope you haven’t forgotten what he did to you in the past,” she pointed out.

    “He has begged for forgiveness and it’s been sorted out. He’s a changed man now. He’s more mature and caring than the JB of our school days,”I replied.

    Later, I left Helena and made my way to Chief’s house to break the news to him, that I could no longer marry him because of my love for JB. I don’t know how he will react- he will definitely be upset. But I feel I took the right decision. Would it not have been worse if I had gone ahead and married Chief and be pining and longing for JB, his blood relative? Or even worse, be having an affair with him on the side?

    Or what do you think? Should I have gone ahead and married Chief and let my one true love, JB go? Readers’ views are welcome!

    Concluded

     

    We welcome comments/suggestions from readers. All correspondence should be sent to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

    Names have been changed to protect the identity of Rosie and the other individuals in the story.

  • I’m educated, he’s not, but I love him

    SOMEONE once asked me if what I write about are true life stories or just mere fiction. When I thought about it, I realise that it is easy to assume that certain things do not exist just because we are blessed not to experience those situations. Anyway, Christy wrote in last week. I have given her my candid advice, but I know my opinion is not enough for her to make up her mind on the issue.

    In her words: “I have this guy. He has every quality I need, but the problem is he is not educated and the kind of job he does is seasonal. Should I go on with the relationship?” she asked. It was just as simple as that. She went straight to the point.

    To start with, I asked Christy what her level of education is. I was told she just finished at a college of education and she intends to further. To me, that is where the problem is. For your information, her man did not finish secondary school.

    Well, it is obvious she’s in love with him from the tone of her voice, and he is probably head-over-heels in love with her. But you cannot afford to sweep certain sentiments under the carpet. Some of the common sentiments that confront relationship/marriage are religious and tribal sentiments, but there are also other sentiments such as status that is capable of putting weight on a relationship. It takes a man who is secured to deal with a woman who is more educated than him, especially if he’s not a successful artisan. More so, Christy intends to further her education.

    I believe that no matter how successful a woman is, she really wants to look up her man. He must make her admire him in status. What the man in question has is character which is the bedrock of every good relationship, but then character may not be enough, especially when the woman is better off in status.

    What do you think really? I want to know you candid opinion. Is it okay for Christy to go for him? Is it okay for an educated lady to marry an illiterate man, especially when he’s got everything she wants? Please, please do advise. This isn’t about Christy alone. It happens every now and then. When it comes to matters of the heart, we tend to make emotional decisions. So, it important to advise appropriately to avoid future pain.

     

    RE: Kissing my boyfriend is difficult. What do I do?

    Mouth odour can be properly managed by oral hygiene. Oral health goes beyond brushing of teeth and chewing stick in the morning. He will need to get some medicated mouth wash to be rinsing and gargling in his mouth at regular intervals throughout the day. He should carry around with him oral spray and mints to use as when needed during the day. The mouth wash will kill the germs that produce the offensive odour. She has to use tact and tender loving care to get him to start the curative new regime. She too must do the same so as to deflect the resentment he might want to show.

    Yinka Alakija

     

    Hi, I’m Joel. I am texting in response to your column about the girl who can’t kiss her boyfriend due to mouth odour. Tell her this, I don’t really see it as a problem I.e. telling him about his situation when you’re in a relationship. You’re not just lovers but friends, meaning you know each other well, strengths and weaknesses. So believe me, no one knows the best way to approach her boyfriend better than her because if someone knows how to approach him better than her, then she’s not qualified to be his girl. So, let me make it straight and simple. Let her talk to him about it. I know her fears, but as I said, she should know him.  Have a lovely weekend, Mercy.

     

    I would advise Dapo to forward his blood group- O, A, B, AB. The type of food consumed greatly contributes to this problem. It’s not enough for the lady to abandon the relationship. It can be eradicated.

    Humphrey

     

    ‘HOOK UP’

    Are you single and searching? Look no further, send in your profile and give a description of the kind of girl/lady/woman you want and your request will be published here. Please sms only to 08023630001 or 0703472211, Email: forsistersonly@yahoo.com.

    And if you have ever been ‘hooked up’ on this column, please I need feedback. Thank you.

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Shade. I’m from Kwara State. I’m 29, a graduate, tall and fair. I’m a Christian. I need a God-fearing man for a relationship that will lead to marriage.

    08053377964

     

    Hi Mercy,I am Olakunle, a biochemistry graduate.I am 40 years old. I need an educated lady between the ages of 29 and 34 for marriage. She can be from any tribe. Thanks.

    08068494768

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m Usman, from Idah-Kogi State. I need a pretty, beautiful, sexy, generous and charming Igala Muslim girl for marriage. Call me on

    08140892443

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m Abdul, 30 years. I need a real lady to get engaged with. She should be between 24 and 27. Only interested lady should call me please.

    08136388896

  • Kissing my boyfriend is  difficult; what do I do?

    Kissing my boyfriend is difficult; what do I do?

    WHAT I’m supposed to do? “ I love him. “How do I tell him he’s got bad breath?” Asked Dorothy.

    Dorothy is one of my ardent readers. She loves her man no doubt because of the way she went on and on about him when she called me. “But, why this? She asked. And I said why what?

    “Aunty, Dapo is a good man, I know. Like the saying that it takes a bad relationship to appreciate a good one, that saying often times is very true. Before I met Dapo, I was in an abusive relationship. That’s a topic for another day sha. After I managed to get out of it, I met Dapo who showered me all the love in the world. Well, I think I deserve the very opposite of what I had gone through in my previous relationship.

    “But just when I was settling into my new glorious liberty, the devil struck, this time, I had to deal with bad breath or risk losing a good man. I don’t want to walk into another abusive relationship, not in this life, not in the one to come. But it’s a tough choice to stay with Dapo because I have to constantly deal with his bad breath. I really do not know how long I can carry on because what’s romance really without kissing your man? Aunty, please advise me”.

    Dear esteemed readers, please let’s not shift focus from what the column is all about, which is to proffer solutions to some of the challenges we face in our relationship. Dorothy is one of us, please kindly advise appropriately. Thank you.

    Also, if there are steps to take to eradicate mouth odour, please do text those suggestions to me.

     

    ‘HOOK UP’

    Are you single and searching? Look no further, send in your profile and give a description of the kind of girl/lady/woman you want and your request will be published here. Please sms only to 08023630001 or 0703472211, Email: forsistersonly@yahoo.com.

    And, if you have ever been ‘hooked up’ on this column, please I need feedback. Thank you.

     

    Hi Mercy, please link me up with a sugar lady in Abuja between the ages of 29 and 45. I’m Dave, 33 years. I’m handsome and good looking. Thanks. 07051025767.

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Sola. I’m 38 years old, 5ft and dark in complexion. I live in Ado-Ekiti. I want a sugar mummy that is sexually active for a good relationship. She could be from between 35 and 50. 08059598400.

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m 39. Please hook me up with a clean, mature, God- fearing, working class professional female (lady/single mum) nurse, doctor, banker, health worker, civil servant from Ondo, Osun or Ekiti for a serious relationship. Age is no problem.

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m Gabriel, please link me up with a good looking military lady that is slim, tall, fair and big booty between the age of 25 and 35 for a relationship that will lead to marriage.

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m Pat Oka from Enugu. I need a sugar mummy between 50 and 60 years for a relationship. 08165336346.

    Hi Mercy, my name is Nwokeji Joseph. I’m 6ft 1inch tall, a graduate of marketing working and living in Lagos State. I’m fair in complexion, gentle, handsome, sincere, caring and open minded to people. I need a working class lady from Ekiti, Ondo or Calabar residing in Lagos State. She must be well educated, tall, beautiful, light in complexion, caring,  homily, God-fearing, patient and very romantic who is between 20 and 25 years of age and willing to go into a relationship that can lead to marriage, any interested lady should contact me on this numbers. 08120384619, 09092110643.

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Victor and I reside in Lagos. I need a sweet lady between the ages of 23 and 29 for a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. 08073780203

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Adex. I’m 38. I need a very decent, mature, beautiful, simple and open-minded, clean and ageless, God fearing, single mum or lady that work as a nurse/doctor with government or a banker. Age is no problem. 09030834951

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Bamgbose. I am 30 years. I live in Lagos State. I need a Muslim lady between 28 and 29 for relationship that will lead to marriage. 08090518824.

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Adesina, 40 years. I’m Yoruba and live in Suleja, Niger State. I need my age group or older woman for a serious relationship. 08099186951.

     

    Hi Mercy, I’m Ola, a banker. I’m 38. I need a lady from western part for marriage. She should be between 28 and 34. 0909658519.

     

    Hi Mercy, my name is Tunde, 32 years. I’m dark, good looking. I stay in Ondo, civil servant. I need a sugar mummy or working class lady for serious relationship.  08160119602.

    Hi Mercy, my name is Abraham. I’m 30 years, a graduate. I need a sincere and caring lady for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage.

    07065965077

     

  • Much ado about  Valentine’s Day

    Much ado about Valentine’s Day

    Happy Valentine’s Day! How did it go? For me, I didn’t leave my house on that day. Was the Val any less romantic, no! In fact, it couldn’t have been more romantic. But I guess I’m just indifferent about going out with my man to celebrate Val or planning that special Valentine’s Day occasion because personally, I think we should have as many Valentine’s Day in a relationship/marriage.

    I’m usually not an early riser; I woke up and realized it was just a few minutes past 8:00 am. I wanted to be the first to send my man a Valentine’s message but of course I couldn’t be, not in the days of social media, BBM, facebook, name it. Nevertheless, I sent him a beautiful message. He’s special! Very special to me!! Just like me, he also didn’t rise early and so he didn’t get to reply my message until about two hours later. Once I didn’t see his text, I knew he was still sleeping and I wasn’t going to disturb his sleep just because of Valentine. I understood his job; he has this very erratic work schedule so Valentine or not, he deserves his rest. The text came as soon as he woke up and it was so romantic. I have read it like thrice or more since he sent it. I read it over and over on Val Day’s. Don’t blame me, this man made me feel loved. He always does. God! I can’t thank you enough.

    Hmm, I’m not about to share his text with you but just for you to know that we can make it special without necessarily losing an arm and a leg. Oh yes, we can. It’s not in the clothes that you buy or the gift that you share that makes it a special day. It’s in the love that you truly feel for each other that really makes it a special day. If the special celebration comes or the gifts then it’s okay. It makes it all beautiful too.

    But you don’t feel loved in your relationship, spending the entire day dinning won’t do much. Everyday can be Valentine with the right person. Relationship shouldn’t be stressful. You should feel peaceful in your relationship. If there are too many issues, you might as well remain friends. You are dealing with crazy issues like your man doesn’t care about you, he barely visit, he doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t feel concerned about your endevours (like wise you should  so same to him), it just about the sex or the money as the case maybe of what use is that table for two?

    I’d love to set the dinner table with the best cocktail, exotic wine, cake and a special dish to go and most of all appear in that touch of red sexy dinner gown or lingerie, mind you if the relationship is working. Yes I’d love to. I’m a romantic. But in this case when he has to attend to work, it not a lost day. Make the best of what is available email, phone call, text message, get a card, just do something.

    Can you imagine that I’m just settling dispute between this couple that I know just because her man insisted he had to go and take care of some business which she felt could wait until after Valentine.

    A day before Val she had spent the entire day at the saloon, trying to make her hair and guess what he was the one who suggested the kind of hair-do, only for him to run off to attend to business oh! That got Desola mad! Not after all the preparation. They started preparing ahead, especially that more so the Val fell on a weekend. “Didn’t he know he had to attend to business? Mercy, my husband doesn’t love me anymore. All this men cannot be trusted you know, he may have gone to be with someone else”, she said.

    Then at that point, I had to chip it in, “Desola, I was home alone yesterday”. It was my choice because after we exchanged text messages, by 12 or thereabouts, my phone battery ran out. I had left my pin mouth at work so there was no way I could charge my phone. So for the next 4 hours or so, my phone was down. I had to send someone to get me a charger. But before I did that, I had tried to charge my phone briefly with a desk top knowing he might have been calling to speak with his baby. And quite true immediately my phone came on, it was him calling.

    He wanted to squeeze himself and see if we could hangout. “Why did you switched off your phone. I have been calling since. I called the other line too you didn’t pick”. I didn’t know I abandoned my other line in my bag. That was also very sweet. Even though he wasn’t there, he wanted me to know he would have loved to spend the day with me, but a man has got to do what is got to do. I understood. It was just as simple as that. I could have been the one who was very busy on that day and I would want him to understand too, sefini.

    The big question now: Is Valentine an expression of love? Please write in and let’s have your views on this. I would also like to know how you celebrated your Valentine.

  • New Year Resolution… unhealthy relationship habits

    It’s about time to dump old habits and embrace new and productive lifestyle that fosters good relationship. The long and short of it is go ahead and plan-New Year, quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily, just plan because when you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

    When you do not study, you have planned to fail when it’s time for examination. No miracle can change your fate if you fail to do the right thing! We by ourselves decide our fate to an extent. When you plan is one fate. When you fail to plan is another kind of fate. The former is a good fate because the result is success. The latter is a bad fate because the result is failure. Even the holy book says, ‘whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…’-hard work is the price you need to pay. ‘A hard working man will not stand before unknown men. He will stand before king’ so says the holy book.

    The one habit many need to confront headlong in this year also is laziness and indiscipline.

    God have a covenant with us to prosper us. A covenant is a supernatural agreement entered by God with mankind. This covenant is kept and honoured by God but human beings have a way of not playing their part.  After all, an agreement is between two people. And the two people must play their part to achieve a desired result. When God said, ‘whatever you put your hands to will prosper, ‘He meant it. The only reason why we fail to prosper the way we want is failure to uphold our side of the bargain (agreement).

    There is no dream too tall so don’t be afraid to plan, to set goals this new year. Whatever goals you set, God has a covenant to prosper us but be ready to keep your part of the covenant.

    Decide to keep good and profitable relationship/friendship this year. That is one way to working out your success. When you consciously surround yourself with people of great minds or rob minds with them, your career, work and life will be the better for it. Another way to interact with great minds is by reading. This year read any and everything. Henry ford puts it this way, read a lot. Think a lot. Work a lot.

    Here are some excerpts from the bestseller “my advice to business men is to read a lot, and think a lot and work a lot. I started that way. I kept on thinking and I’m still thinking. The habit of analysis, the habit to get under the surface things and at vital essentials, gives a man tremendous advantage over those of his competitors who do not do likewise…we study too much and think too little…a lot of people are crammed full of knowledge but they don’t know how to use it.

    “The Woolworth building was once a thought…thought is the parent of progress. Thought creates all. Everything springs from thought. Human beings are distinguished from animal by this one power, the power of thought. The immortals of this world are they who thought deeper or more brilliantly than their fellows…

    “The Tobacco King, James B. Duke, attribute is rise largely to a thought that came to him when he was a young man. “Why can’t I do in tobacco what John D. Rockefeller has done in oil? He asked himself. “And then,” he told me, “I started out to do it.” Note that: “I started out to do it.”

    2015 think! Think! And think! See you at the top soon! Because I’ve started thinking too!

  • New Year Resolutions… unhealthy relationship habits

    IT’S about time to dump old habits and embrace new and productive lifestyle that fosters good relationship. The long and short of it is go ahead and plan-New Year, quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily, just plan because when you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

    When you do not study, you have planned to fail when it’s time for examination. No miracle can change your fate if you fail to do the right thing! We by ourselves decide our fate to an extent. When you plan is one fate. When you fail to plan is another kind of fate. The former is a good fate because the result is success. The latter is a bad fate because the result is failure. Even the holy book says, ‘whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…’-hard work is the price you need to pay. ‘A hard working man will not stand before unknown men. He will stand before king’ so says the holy book.

    The one habit many need to confront headlong in this year also is laziness and indiscipline.

    God have a covenant with us to prosper us. A covenant is a supernatural agreement entered by God with mankind. This covenant is kept and honoured by God but human beings have a way of not playing their part.  After all, an agreement is between two people. And the two people must play their part to achieve a desired result. When God said, ‘whatever you put your hands to will prosper, ‘He meant it. The only reason why we fail to prosper the way we want is failure to uphold our side of the bargain (agreement).

    There is no dream too tall so don’t be afraid to plan, to set goals this new year. Whatever goals you set, God has a covenant to prosper us but be ready to keep your part of the covenant.

    Decide to keep good and profitable relationship/friendship this year. That is one way to working out your success. When you consciously surround yourself with people of great minds or rob minds with them, your career, work and life will be the better for it. Another way to interact with great minds is by reading. This year read any and everything. Henry ford puts it this way, read a lot. Think a lot. Work a lot.

    Here are some excerpts from the bestseller “my advice to business men is to read a lot, and think a lot and work a lot. I started that way. I kept on thinking and I’m still thinking. The habit of analysis, the habit to get under the surface things and at vital essentials, gives a man tremendous advantage over those of his competitors who do not do likewise…we study too much and think too little…a lot of people are crammed full of knowledge but they don’t know how to use it.

    “The Woolworth building was once a thought…thought is the parent of progress. Thought creates all. Everything springs from thought. Human beings are distinguished from animal by this one power, the power of thought. The immortals of this world are they who thought deeper or more brilliantly than their fellows…

    “The Tobacco King, James B. Duke, attribute is rise largely to a thought that came to him when he was a young man. “Why can’t I do in tobacco what John D. Rockefeller has done in oil? He asked himself. “And then,” he told me, “I started out to do it.” Note that: “I started out to do it.”

    2015 think! Think! And think! See you at the top soon! Because I’ve started thinking too!

  • New Year Resolution… unhealthy relationship habits

    THIS is the New Year and it is my tradition not to be so typical. So don’t be shocked to see a different me in this edition. It is that time to reflect on our personal life, which relationship is only a fraction of. Life is not all about relationship. In fact, for you to prosper in relationship, you must work towards personal accomplishments and achieving your personal fulfillment.

    With good looks, a girl can attract any man but it takes more than mere good looks to sustain a relationship with a ‘quality’ man. Any man who is successful in what he does or is working hard to build a brand for himself, trust me, may be swayed by looks at first but it takes more than good looks for him to walk you down the aisle. If that is your dream, this year you need to change your strategy. You can’t keep doing things the same way and expect a different result. And that applies to every facet of our life.

    If you have seen the movie, Just Right, 2010 American romantic comedy film starring Queen Latifah, Common, Paula Patton among others, then you will be familiar with this line, ‘A girl doesn’t just become the wife of an NBA Franchise player by accident. It takes strategy, good intellect and vision…These NBA player’s wives one is got a fragrance, the other one has a clothing line coming up, brands! I’m almost 30. I’ve got to start thinking about my future like now”.

    That was a character in the movie called Morgan (Paula Patton). Morgan had the strategy that works but for her attitude even after winning the heart of Common (the NBA player) she lost him to her God-sister, Leslie, a physical therapist, when  Common’s career came crumbling due to a fatal injuring. She had a bitchy attitude. She walked out on him, abandoning him in his challenges and having no respect for marital vow. Attitude is everything really. Number one, habit to work on this year is having the right attitude. Being humane is a priceless attitude. As we strive to get to the top, being humane because that’s in itself, true happiness.

    One lie that we do tell ourself is ‘I don’t care what people say about me’. You may not care if someone tries to put a limitation on you. By using the word, ‘you can’t do it’ but when someone constructively points out an attitude of yours that’s not good such as you are acting bitchy, rude, selfish, greedy, moody always and so on then you need to check it. In fact, make a conscious effort to dump that attitude. You are even lucky; if you get someone to point out your flaws to you in this generation. Gone are those days, when we live in a communal village-the days when a child was brought up by the elderly around. The days when no one waited for your folks before they can correct you when they see you are toeing the wrong path. Now, we live in a global village- where the younger generation, learn from social media, a place where vices are the new values. And values have become old fashion.

    The New Year is the best time to start afresh. You may not agree with me because really, why do you have to wait for a New Year to come before reevaluating or taking stock of our lifestyle. It is something that can be done on a daily basis however; there is something about the New Year that causes us to reflect in order to set new horizon, new goals for a more production year than the previous one.

    Setting new targets comes with a sense of beginning afresh and what better time than this time. When we talk about taking stock, it means after taking your time to reflect on your lifestyle, you then make the decision to do anyway with old habits that get in the way of your personal growth and accomplishments in life.

    Whatever we are doing, the target is for us to live a purposeful life. One cannot live a purposeful life just by wishful thinking. It does not come by accident. It takes planning, good intellect and vision. The time of living life has it comes is over. It is time to plan your way to success. Most of us are familiar with this popular Chinese saying, “failing to plan is planning to fail”. But how many of us really plan? And there is one common lie that has become acceptable to many. And that lie is, ‘I don’t believe in New Year Resolution’. But it will amaze you how many people actually set their goals (plan) at the beginning of the year and make a success of them. Even those who say they do not believe in New Year Resolution, plan but some of us will just jump on other people’s philosophy without having an alternative plan.

     

     

     

    It’s about time to dump old habits and embrace new and productive lifestyle that fosters good relationship. The long and short of it is go ahead and plan-New Year, quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily, just plan because when you fail to plan, you have planned to fail.

    When you do not study, you have planned to fail when it’s time for examination. No miracle can change your fate if you fail to do the right thing! We by ourselves decide our fate to an extent. When you plan is one fate. When you fail to plan is another kind of fate. The former is a good fate because the result is success. The latter is a bad fate because the result is failure. Even the holy book says, ‘whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…’-hard work is the price you need to pay. ‘A hard working man will not stand before unknown men. He will stand before king’ so says the holy book.

    The one habit many need to confront headlong in this year also is laziness and indiscipline.

    God have a covenant with us to prosper us. A covenant is a supernatural agreement entered by God with mankind. This covenant is kept and honoured by God but human beings have a way of not playing their part.  After all, an agreement is between two people. And the two people must play their part to achieve a desired result. When God said, ‘whatever you put your hands to will prosper, ‘He meant it. The only reason why we fail to prosper the way we want is failure to uphold our side of the bargain (agreement).

    There is no dream too tall so don’t be afraid to plan, to set goals this new year. Whatever goals you set, God has a covenant to prosper us but be ready to keep your part of the covenant.

    Decide to keep good and profitable relationship/friendship this year. That is one way to working out your success. When you consciously surround yourself with people of great minds or rob minds with them, your career, work and life will be the better for it. Another way to interact with great minds is by reading. This year read any and everything. Henry ford puts it this way, read a lot. Think a lot. Work a lot.

    Here are some excerpts from the bestseller “my advice to business men is to read a lot, and think a lot and work a lot. I started that way. I kept on thinking and I’m still thinking. The habit of analysis, the habit to get under the surface things and at vital essentials, gives a man tremendous advantage over those of his competitors who do not do likewise…we study too much and think too little…a lot of people are crammed full of knowledge but they don’t know how to use it.

    “The Woolworth building was once a thought…thought is the parent of progress. Thought creates all. Everything springs from thought. Human beings are distinguished from animal by this one power, the power of thought. The immortals of this world are they who thought deeper or more brilliantly than their fellows…

    “The Tobacco King, James B. Duke, attribute is rise largely to a thought that came to him when he was a young man. “Why can’t I do in tobacco what John D. Rockefeller has done in oil? He asked himself. “And then,” he told me, “I started out to do it.” Note that: “I started out to do it.”

    2015 think! Think! And think! See you at the top soon! Because I’ve started thinking too!