The Nation Newspaper

Category: Relationships

  • The affair

    One quiet and cold night, Grace laid in bed and listened to the sound of raindrops that splattered on her window. Loneliness engulfed her as memories of past times with her husband filled her mind. She remembered how he used to hold her in his arms and cuddle her like a baby until she fell asleep. Those good old days existed only in her memories now.

    “What did I do wrong that made Jude abandon me without considering my feelings?” she asked herself. Though her husband, who was based in Canada, was sending large sums of money to her weekly, yet Grace was not happy. “I can’t take this anymore; I am a woman with flesh and blood running in my veins.”

    “I have been in this wretched condition for seven years like a widow without the touch of a man. I must find a solution to this before I go insane,’ she affirmed within her.

    As she wallowed in her misery, the urge to be with a man and to feel the warmth of her husband filled her soul; the feeling grew stronger when she thought of how Jude used to make her feel like a woman. “I’m still young yet living like this though I have a husband who is enjoying his life in Canada,” she thought.

    In the past, many advisers had urged her to remarry with some even introducing her to all sorts of men. But she never took their advice until the desire to be with a man began to torment her.

    In the beginning, she took to drinking which made her situation worst. “This is not working, I am going to find myself a man and I don’t care what people will say; this is my life and mine alone. Afterall, since my husband has been in Canada, am I sure he has been faithful to me?” she said, shaking her head. These thoughts went on in her mind until she fell into an uneasy asleep.

    ****

    Jude left the country for Canada in search of a better life when Grace was pregnant with their second child who was now seven years old. She could remember how he had promised to send for them once he had settled down. Grace waited and watched as days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years.

    “Sweet, I am trying my best to see that I send for you and the children…the way things are done here is different from the way things are done back home. Just give me some time, I promise to come for you and the children,” he promised her during one of their many phone conversations. However, the promise never came to pass and her husband never sent for them as twelve years elapsed. This made Grace to look for an alternative.

    On her search for male company, Grace dated both young and old men whom she spent money on. Then, she met Melvin whom she fell in love with eventually. Melvin was jobless, homeless and a no body but handsome. He lost all he had due to a fire-out-break that razed the shopping complex where his shop was situated.

    When they started their affair, Melvin only came over to Grace’s home at weekends. Later, he moved in to live with her.

    “Grace, who is this stunning looking young man I saw leaving your house?” asked Felicia, a friend of hers who paid her a visit unannounced.

    “Oh! That’s Melvin…he is my husband’s brother who just finished his Youth Service and he is here in search of a job,” she lied.

    “Can you introduce him to me?” Felicia asked. “Why?” Grace queried. “I think I like him,” she revealed.

    “Please, don’t go there,” Grace warned her. “Can’t you see that he is a small boy who is just looking for a job?”

    “I don’t mind. I can help him with his quest of getting a job in my office if he can play by the rules,” she offered.

    “Don’t bother, good Samaritan! He will be going for an interview at Landover Bank on Monday,” she said.

    It was in the middle of their discussion that Melvin walked into the living room and called Grace, ‘Baby’, which got Felicia dumbfounded; she wasn’t sure if she had heard him right. She waited patiently as the exchange of kisses from one person to another ended and she could hardly wait for Melvin to leave the living room before she popped the question.

    “I thought you said he is your husband’s brother?” Grace beckoned on her to be quiet because her children might over hear them.

    “I will explain later,” was what she said.

    “That’s my friend!” Felicia hailed her but warned her to be careful.

    Return of Jude

    As Grace continued her love affair with Melvin, she threw caution to the wind. She did not even care what her children felt about the strange man who had taken over their father’s position; though they called him uncle, they knew very well that he was not their uncle but they dared not ask their mother if the stranger which was the name they tagged him with was really their uncle. Melvin, on his part, tried all his best to see that the children saw him as their uncle.

    On a fateful Saturday morning, Jude arrived at his doorstep in Nigeria after sixteen years without informing his wife that he would be coming home to get her and the children. His joy was shattered when a man wearing boxers opened the door and asked him who he was looking for.

    “I am looking for Grace, does she live here?”

    “Yes and who are you?’ Melvin asked the intruder who he thought might have missed his way.

    “I am her husband,” he replied with seriousness and disappointment in his tone which changed to rage when he heard his wife say:

    “Darling, who are you talking to?”

    Melvin was subdued, drained and short of words because Grace told him that her husband had died years back.

    “It’s a man who says he is your husband,” he replied.

    Grace panicked on hearing his words. Before she could reach the door, her husband had left, entering the cab that brought him. She ran after him to plead.

    “Jude, please let me explain,” she said anxiously.

    “Explain what!” he asked impatiently. “Is this what you have been doing since I left?”

    As they exchanged words, the children came out wondering what was going on. Jude’s attention shifted from Grace to the children whom he didn’t know were in the house with her lover.

    “How could you be this callous? You brought another man into our home, in the presence of the children; what kind of a mother are you? What example are you setting for these children? I am ashamed of you and regret having you as a wife and the mother of my children,” he stated angrily.

    Later, Jude took his children who were happy to see him and left while Melvin stood still, confused, not knowing what to say or do about the situation.

    “Jude, please, its the devil. I am sorry,” Grace begged and begged but her husband never looked back. He left with his children and never came back; so did Melvin whom she had invested so much on.

    “What have I done to myself? I have brought shame to my children, my husband and my family.”

    Grace regretted her actions for the rest of her life…

    •Contributed by Udemma Chukwuma

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the characters in the story.

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

    •Compliments of the season and a very prosperous 2014 to all our teeming and loyal readers of this column. We appreciate you. All the best. – Patience

     

  • A love to hold (3)

    After Lenny’s Mum and sister left, I picked up my bag and prepared to leave as well.

    He was against my going and begged me to stay.

    “You can’t just leave like that, Rosa. You are supposed to spend the weekend with me, remember?” he stated.

    I shook my head.

    “My plans have changed. I need to go home and do some washing and…” I started to say when he said:

    “Is it because of what my Mum said? Ah, sweetheart, you should not take her words too seriously. She’s just being a typical possessive mother; she’s scared you will take me away from her, that since you are now in my life, she can’t have me to herself as before.”

    “Well, it’s obvious she dislikes me. I don’t feel comfortable with the situation; maybe we should just call this thing off, stop seeing each other…” I stated. But Lenny would not hear of it.

    “How can you say that? What do you think will happen to me if you leave me? My life will just be empty without you!” he declared. He told me not to take any rash decision, assuring me that with time, his mother and other family members would accept me.

    “Be patient, please. I will continue to do my best to change her mind,” he said, drawing me close to him and kissing me. Though sceptical, I decided to listen to him. You see, I love Lenny. He had become such an important part of my life that breaking up with him would be heartbreaking. So, I prayed that his people would let us be and not try to separate us.

    But it was not to be as events turned out.

    War zone

    Whatever efforts Lenny made to make his family soften up to me did not seem to work as things became more difficult for us. It was like they had declared war on me and did everything to make my life unbearable. The mother and his two younger sisters kept bombarding me with calls, calling me names and threatening to deal with me both physically and spiritually if I did not leave Lenny.

    “Go and look for another guy to bewitch! Leave our brother alone! Jezebel! Agent of the devil!… his sisters would rant at me, calling me all kinds of unprintable names. For Lenny’s sake, I refrained from exchanging words with them and held my peace. At a point, the harassment got so bad that I had to change my number so they could no longer reach me.

    But that did not stop them. One day, I was at work when I was told I had visitors. Downstairs at the reception, I saw Lenny’s mother with one of her daughters. There was another lady with them that I had never seen before.

    Thinking they had come to make peace, I welcomed them warmly. How wrong I was!

    As soon as I greeted Lenny’s mother and the others, she flared up.

    “Who are you greeting? Don’t you ever greet me in your life again! I’ve come to deliver the last warning to you since you have refused to listen to my previous warnings. My son is not for you, so let him be and go and look for your husband elsewhere. If I ever see you with him again, I will not be held responsible for my actions. I’m warning you…” she continued to rave and shout at me. Soon the others joined in, abusing me and issuing all kinds of threats. I pleaded with her to stop, that we were in an office environment and we could go somewhere else and talk. But they were not ready to listen so when their noise grew so bad, I had to call in the security to throw them out.

    I felt they had carried their hatred of me too far by coming to my office to embarrass me in that manner.

    When Lenny heard what happened, he immediately came over to my house to see me later that day. He apologised on behalf of his mother, promising to have a strong word with her.

    “I’ll make sure this never repeats itself. How could my Mum do that to you! In your office of all places!” he said angrily.

    I did not say anything but simply listened to what he had to say. When he finished, I said:

    “There won’t be a repeat as there would no longer be any reason for her harassment,” I said quietly. I then told him that I was calling off the relationship as I could no long cope with all the intimidations and embarrassment from his family.

    “I love you but I can’t continue like this. All this stress is killing me! My life has become a war zone because of your people. I need my peace, Lenny, so I think it’s best we end this relationship. Just go. Leave me alone!” I said.

    He pleaded and begged but I refused to listen. He looked so miserable and at a point was almost crying that my heart softened.

    So I gave him another chance with the condition that he had to come up with a solution else it would be over with us. After he left, I sat gloomily staring into space, feeling very depressed. I did not see any hope for us with all the opposition to our relationship. The thought of losing Lenny kept me awake at night, made me miserable, sad…

    Epilogue

    Later, Lenny came up with a solution to our problem. He suggested we should relocate to the States and start our lives afresh. I was initially reluctant to leave the country because of my family and my job. But his love for me which I felt was worth holding onto made me change my mind. We quickly made our plans, ensuring we kept everything from his family.

    On the morning we were to travel, we were getting set to go to the airport, when Lenny’s mother showed up.

    “Where are you going, my son with all this luggage?” she enquired, eyeing the bags and suitcases we were loading into the car.

    “Abroad. Where we can have peace since you won’t allow us rest here!” he retorted.

    “What? You mean you are traveling and you didn’t tell me? How could you, Lenny? How can you do that to your own mother?”

    Anyway, she started crying and pleading with Lenny not to go, that she needed him around now as she was getting old and who would take care of her in her old age? If accepting me was the only way to stop him from relocating, then she was ready to do that…

    So based on that, our plans changed. We cancelled our trip and Lenny and I are now free to be together. It’s like a miracle! We are both very happy over the turn of events and I pray his mother’s newfound love for me would last forever, that the days of threats and intimidations were truly over…

    •Concluded

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

  • A love to hold (2)

    LENNY looked and sounded so sincere that I relented a bit.

    He had about a month to go on his contract with my company. I told him if he was still interested in me some time after the expiration of the job, then…

    I left the rest unsaid but he got my drift.

    “You will give me a chance then?” he said, looking excited.

    I nodded.

    “Let’s see what happens then,” I said. I was not sure I was doing the right thing by giving him hope about us being together but it was the least I could do in the situation. My thinking was that by the time the job finished and we were no longer seeing each other regularly, his feelings for me might wane. ‘Out of sight, out of mind,’ I thought.

    But I had reckoned without Lenny’s tenacity. By the time the job finished, he was still coming to the company a few times a week ‘to check on the systems’ he told me but I knew it was simply an excuse to see me.

    When he could not come physically, he would phone or send messages. It was obvious my strategy was not working; instead it had had the opposite effect, making him more crazy about me.

    So, one day, about a month after his contract ended, I called him and we met up. I had closed from work for the day so we drove to an eatery not too far from my office.

    After we had eaten, we sat in his car chatting for a while.

    I told him how I felt about him and that though I liked him, a relationship with him would be too complicated.

    “Complicated? How?” he asked turning to gaze at me. Before I could say anything, he added:

    “I can see you are still bothered about the age thing. Well, if it doesn’t bother me, I don’t see why it should be a problem to you.”

    “Even if I’m ok with it, what will other people say? Your family, for instance. Do you think they will be happy to see you with someone like me, an older lady?” I argued.

    “You see, that’s the problem with a lot of people, they worry too much about what ‘others’ will say or think. Look, Rosa, what matters is what we feel about each other. What others think about us being together should not be our problem. Besides, what makes you think my family won’t like you? Anyway, when we get to that ‘bridge’, we will cross it,” he stated reassuringly.

    That evening, he was so convincing in his arguments that he broke down my defences. I finally relented and decided to give him a chance.

    Later, as I lay in bed that night, the last thought on my mind before drifting off to sleep, was the look of joy on Lenny’s face when I finally agreed to date him. He had hugged me tightly to himself as if he would never let me go…

     

    The gathering storm…

    A few days later, a Saturday, Lenny came to pick me up for an outing. We had a nice time and we saw regularly after that. With time, we became a couple. Being with Lenny was a different experience for me. You see, I’ve had some really terrible relationships in the past and had in fact reached a stage where I had almost given up hope on men and love. That was until Lenny came into my life. It was like, in him I was being compensated for all the ‘ugly frogs I had kissed’ in the past. He lavished love and attention on me and treated me like a princess. What more could a lady want?

    He put my happiness above every other thing and always wanted the best for me. I was very happy with Lenny and even my friends noticed the change in me.

    “You look so radiant these days, Rosa. This new guy must be taking very good care of you,” Maria said one day at my home. She was on a visit with another friend, Anna.

    “Who’s the new guy?” Anna asked, turning to me.

    “Ask her now! Na she sabi!” I said sarcastically, going to the kitchen to get more drinks for them.

    They were leaving some time later when Lenny came.

    “How’s my sweetheart today?” he said, as he embraced me.

    I smiled, telling him I was fine. He had already met Maria so I introduced him to Anna.

    “Let me see them off. I will soon join you,” I told him.

    “That your guy is really cute. Does he have a brother?” Anna asked as we stood by Maria’s car, chatting.

    “Why are you asking?” I queried.

    “Because I want someone like him,” she declared.

    “Thief! Go to the shopping mall and you will get one to buy! Ole!” Maria said teasingly and we laughed.

    Before they left, Maria drew me aside. She wanted to know what Neenah, Lenny’s cousin thought about our relationship.

    I shrugged before saying:

    “She has seen us together a couple of times. She doesn’t seem to mind.”

    “That’s good. I was worried she might not like you hooking up with him,” she said. Then getting into her car, she waved before driving off.

    If Neenah did not object to my dating her cousin, the same could not be said of his family members.

    One weekend, I was in his house one morning when his mother and younger sister arrived. It was my first time of meeting her so I was a bit nervous and anxious as well.

    I greeted and welcomed them warmly. Lenny was taking a shower so I went to get them some drinks.

    Lenny came out later and introduced me to his mother.

    “Mum, this is Rosa, my fiancée,” he stated. That surprised me because he had not formally proposed to me. Infact, we had not even discussed marriage yet in the six months or so we had been together. So, why was he calling me his fiancée, I wondered.

    His mother looked at me up and down as if looking at something she did not particularly like then said in a displeased tone of voice.

    “Fiancée? Since when? You never told me you were engaged!”

    “Well, I’m telling you now, Mum,” he said. He then told me to prepare some food for his mother and sister so I left for the kitchen.

    From there, I could hear their voices. I knew they were talking about me so I went and stood by the kitchen door.

    His mother sounded upset from her tone of voice. She was telling Lenny that she was not happy with his choice of a wife stating:

    “Of all the ladies in this town, you went and chose someone like her! What were you thinking? Has she bewitched you or what?” she demanded.

    I heard Lenny laugh, before assuring her that he was in his right senses.

    She then said in a commanding tone:

    “Well, whatever you have with her must stop. Now!”

    To which Lenny countered:

    “I can’t Mum. She’s the one I love! The one after my heart!”

    I could see a great storm gathering over our heads and as I went back to preparing the meal, I wondered what the future held for Lenny and I…

     

    •What next? Don’t miss the juicy details next Saturday!

     

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

     

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

  • A love to hold (1)

    A friend of mine used to say something that I often found puzzling. “You can’t control who you fall in love with,” she said with the wisdom of an elderly person whereas she was just a young, precocious school girl of 16.

    My present situation brings to mind those words succinctly. I never planned to fall for Lenny. It just happened and now I have to face so much heartache and uncertainty over my future because of my heart’s desires. Lenny and I love each other very much and we want to be together. But so many obstacles have sprung up against us that sometimes I wonder if we can ever make it as a couple, something we so much want.

    As I write this, I’m full of despair, wondering what will happen to Lenny and I, to our love. My present mood is in sharp contrast to my state of mind at the period I first met him. It was like this. I had just been promoted in my office to a senior position with a higher salary, an official car and other perks.

    Feeling euphoric, I had contacted a couple of my friends for a celebratory dinner. Two of them, Neenah, a very good friend who is like a sister to me and another named Maria turned up. It was just the three of us and we had a swell time at a nice, upscale restaurant I had picked for our outing.

    It was at the end of the evening that Neenah told me about her cousin, Lenny. He was an IT specialist, she said who had trained in the U.S and returned to set up his own consultancy firm the year before.

    “He’s very good. Since he’s been handling the systems in our office, we’ve not been having much problems with our computers and network. I’m not saying this because he’s my cousin. You need to recommend him to your company,” she said.

    I told her I would consider it and promptly forgot about the matter. I remembered her words though, about two weeks later. We had been having major problems with our systems and my immediate boss was considering bringing in someone to overhaul them. It was then I remembered Neenah’s cousin.

    I called her and she arranged a meeting for the following day. She arrived with him at my office shortly before noon.

    “This is Lenny, my cousin. Please give him all the assistance you can,” she said.

    “Alright, Neenah. I’ll do my best,” I assured her as I looked over her relative. He was of average height, with a quiet, serious mien and looked to be in his late 20s.

    Later, after Neenah had left to go back to her work, Lenny and I sat in my office for a while to review the proposal he had made on our systems overhaul and maintenance. I showed it to my boss and he seemed to like it.

    “Bring the young man to me after the departmental meeting later,” he said.

     

    Blossoming romance

    Lenny got the job and he immediately set to work. It was a long term job which involved him and a couple of his staff coming to our company nearly everyday. He was very appreciative of the help I had given him in winning the IT contract and one day, he invited me out for dinner, ‘just to say thank you,’ as he put it. I declined at first, thinking it was not necessary.

    “Neenah is like a sister to me and I will do anything for her,” I told him that afternoon. But he persisted and I graciously gave in.

    We went to a new place that had just opened on Victoria Island. That evening I saw the other side of Lenny, his fun relaxed side which was not noticeable at work. He told so many jokes especially about his school days in the States that I laughed nearly throughout the evening.

    “That was so much fun,” I stated sincerely as he took me home later.

    “Yes, I had a swell time too,” he said. Then he added: “Perhaps, we can do this again, some other time?”

    I looked at closely before saying in a slightly amused tone of voice:

    “Are you asking me out on a date?”

    He shrugged.

    “If you put it that way; yes,” he replied, taking his eyes briefly from the wheel to glance keenly at me.

    “Well, thanks for the invite but sorry, it’s a no,” I said lightly.

    “Why? Is it that you don’t like me?” he asked.

    I laughed briefly before saying:

    “My dear, this has got nothing to do with liking you or not. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m Neenah’s (whom by the way you call ‘Sister Neenah’) close friend and age mate. That should give you a clue.”

    “So, it’s because of the age gap then,” he finally stated.

    “Now you are talking! I should be like 7 years or so older than you,” I pointed out.

    “But you don’t look it. You could pass for someone my age or even younger,” he stated, looking at me again. Even in the dimness of the car, I could see the admiration in his eyes.

    “Thanks for the compliment. But that does not change the fact we are not mates. So, let’s drop this, shall we?” I said, and taking my phone from my bag, I checked my mixed calls and messages.

    I thought I had heard the last of the matter, but to my surprise Lenny kept on pestering me to go out with him. His persistence amused me at first but when it became too much, I had to put my foot down.

    “Lenny,” I said one evening in my office, “This must stop! There can never be anything between us. Don’t you get it? I’m not for you!” I said in an exasperated tone. He had just invited me to attend the birthday party of a friend in Surulere.

    “What will your friends say when they see you with someone like me, your elder sister’s mate?” I queried.

    “Seeing me with a beauty like you, they will call me a lucky guy and will be envious of me too,” he stated, smiling at me.

    I was not amused.

    “Well, good luck to them. But the fact remains that, I see you more like a younger brother not…” I began saying when he butted in:

    “As a man,” he said. Then he added: “Look, I’m a man and I know what I want. And I’ve liked you from the first day I saw you. You are on my mind all the time. Even at night, my sleep is haunted by thoughts of you. Agreed, there are a few years’ gap between us but why should that be a problem when it comes to love? I think you don’t like me, that’s the real problem,” he concluded sounding gloomy.

    He was not quite correct on that. Truth was, I was beginning to like him. He was intelligent, hardworking and also good-looking too. Besides, he was mature and focused for his age. He knew what he wanted out of life and he always worked hard towards his goals. He was my type, the kind of guy I liked and if things were different, I would have accepted him as I was not in a serious relationship then. Six months before, I had broken up with my boyfriend when he kept insisting on my having a baby before our marriage. When I pointed out to him that it should be the other way round, marriage before babies, he had got angry and walked out. Out of my life for good. I was not in love with him anyway, so his leaving was no big loss to me. Infact, I felt more of relief than heartbreak after that break-up.

    Since then though, I had been praying for a decent man to come my way, someone who will love me for myself and not as a potential baby making factory. So far, my prayers seemed to have gone unanswered.

    Lenny was still speaking.

    “Please, Rosa, don’t let such an inconsequential thing as age difference stop us. Give me a chance and I know you will grow to like me with time. Stop pushing me away. Please,” he pleaded earnestly.

    I studied him for a while, noting the sincerity in his voice, his dark eyes.

    I made up my mind then.

    “Alright, let’s do it like this then…” And I began to speak of a way out…

     

    •What did Rosa say to Lenny? Details next week!

     

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

     

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

  • The mistress (4)

    I consoled myself with the fact that I was still young and fertile enough to have more children especially sons. I was ready to do anything in my quest to give my husband male issues as I felt instinctively that our future happiness depended on it. I confided my worries to one of my aunties and she promised to help. She said she knew a powerful man of God, a prophet who could help ‘turn my womb so I can only give birth to sons.’

    One day, she took me to this man who prayed for me and applied some funny smelling ointment on my stomach. He assured me that my womb would only produce males from then on.

    I believed him so much that when I became pregnant again some time later, I bought clothes for a baby boy. So, you could imagine my disappointment when I had another girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughters and I think the world of them. But we live in a society where the male child is highly sought after and a woman who can’t give her husband males is deemed a failure, one who has not fully fulfilled her role as a wife.

    This time around, when Frank heard I had given birth to another girl, he did not even bother to show up at the hospital. It was one of my elder brothers who came to pay the bills and take me and the baby home. And it was two days after, that he came home from wherever he had gone to. I noticed immediately that he was quite withdrawn. He did not show interest in me or the baby unlike in my previous deliveries.

    I tried to find out what was the matter, but he refused to say anything. Then one day, he simply flared up when I asked him to help me keep an eye on the baby while I took a quick shower.

    “Am I now your baby nurse that I should carry the baby? Take her with you or leave her there! Don’t bother me!” he said.

    “But Frank, what’s wrong with your helping me with the baby? She’s your daughter afterall!” I pointed out.

    “Yes! She’s my daughter and that’s the problem! There are just too many of them! You think I married you to fill my house with girls? Woman, you better wake up to your responsibilities or else…! with that he picked up his car keys and hurriedly left the house.

    I knew I had to give him a son or my marriage would be in jeopardy. But try as I could, I could not conceive again. It was as if my womb just closed up. Worse still, my relationship with my husband continued to deteriorate. Before, he would come home straight from work as soon as he closed to spend time with me. Now, I hardly saw him. Sometimes, he would stay out for days and return without explanations. To keep the peace in our home, I did not ask questions about where he had been.

    Later, I started hearing stories of his escapades with other women outside. A friend of mine even saw him at a swanky hotel in town one day with a lady and told me how he was all over her. I ignored all these stories and focused on taking care of my children, all the while praying that God would remember me and give me a son.

    Things got worse, however. We had been together for about seven years when Frank simply walked out on me one day. I had gone out that day and returned to see him dragging some suitcases downstairs. His driver was standing nearby to help load the bags in the boot of his jeep outside.

    “Where are you going, Frank? You didn’t tell me you were traveling,” I stated, eyeing the bags.

    “As you can see, I’m leaving,” he said shortly.

    “What do you mean, leaving? To where?” I asked, my heart beating fast with fear probably.

    “Can’t you get it? I’m going away! I’m leaving you! And for your own good, don’t bother looking for me!” he said, as he moved outside to the car park. I followed quickly, shocked at the turn of events. I knew we were having problems but not to the extent of abandoning me and his family. How could he?

    I was not ready to lose my husband so going down on my knees, I pleaded with him to reconsider.

    “Please, Frank, you can’t do this to me! Don’t go, honey! Think of the children! They need you. And I can’t live without you!”

    But he ignored my pleadings and hurriedly getting into his car, drove away. It’s been over a year now and I have not set eyes on my husband. We only speak on phone when he calls to enquire about the children. I’ve pleaded and sent people to him to give me another chance but he remains adamant. Worse, I heard he has started living with another lady in one of his other properties in town and he is planning to marry her.

    To be fair to him, he still takes care of us by giving me money for our upkeep. But that’s not what I want. I want my husband back. Some people might think what happened to me is the law of karma or nemesis considering what happened to Frank’s first wife. Or I should have paid attention to my mother’s advice as they were words of wisdom from an elder. Whatever.

    Truth is, I still love and want my husband and I will do anything to get him back. He is not actually a bad person but his obsession for a son has beclouded his judgement. So, what should I do to win him back? Thank you.

    •Concluded

    •What do you think Nicole should do next?

    •Send comments/advice/suggestions to psaduwa@yahoo.com, psaduwa007@gmail.com or 08023201831. The best feedback will be published soon!

    •Names have been changed to protect Nichole’s identity and other individuals in the story

     

  • INEC, PDP, Wada urge Supreme Court to dismiss case

    INEC, PDP, Wada urge Supreme Court to dismiss case

    Judgment on February 21

    The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and Kogi State Governor Idris Wada yesterday urged the Supreme Court to dismiss an appeal filed by a chieftain of the party, Jibril Isah Echocho.

    Echocho is challenging the legitimacy of the December 3, 2011, election, which produced Wada as governor.

    At the hearing yesterday, INEC, PDP and Wada, represented by J. M. M. Majiyagbe, Olusola Oke and Chris Uche (SAN), faulted the competence of the appeal and urged the court to dismiss it.

    Echocho challenged the legitimacy of the election before the Federal High Court on the grounds that it was wrongly held.

    The Federal High Court declined jurisdiction, as the case involved governorship election issues over which it lacked jurisdiction.

    Echocho went to the Court of Appeal, which upheld the decision of the Federal High Court, prompting his appeal to the Supreme Court.

    Adopting his brief yesterday, Majiyagbe urged the court to dismiss the appeal because he said the reliefs sought by Echocho could only be granted by an election tribunal.

    “The narrow issue is whether the Federal High Court can entertain electoral matters, especially in light of the reliefs sought by the appellant, one of which is that the court should set aside the election.”

    Uche noted that the Apex Court on September 10, last year upheld the election.

    He argued that having not taken part in the election, it was strange that he would seek to be declared the winner of the election he did not participate in.

    “The appellant sought to rely on the primary election of January 2011, which he won, but was canceled. In the case of Sylva against PDP, the Supreme Court held that the cancelled primary had become no issue and no one could rely on it.”

    Oke said Section 285 (2) of the 1999 Constitution vested exclusive jurisdiction in the election tribunal to determine issues relating to the conduct of elections and that Isah was wrong to have come to the High Court.

    To him, the High Court and Court of Appeal were right in dismissing the case, and urged the Supreme Court to do same.

    Oke told the court that PDP had the right to abandon a primary and conduct a new one.

    Echocho’s counsel Wole Olanipekun (SAN) submitted that the case was novel because it raised issues that had not been decided before.

    “This appeal has no precedent in this country. It calls for your Lordships’ intervention to protect the sanctity and potency of the judgment of the Supreme Court and the constitution.”

    He argued that the December 3, 2011, governorship election was held in violation of the Supreme Court’s judgment, which terminated the tenure of five governors.

    Olanipekun said his client could not have gone to the tribunal because his case did not fall within the grounds for filing a petition.

    Justice Mahmud Mohammed adjourned till February 21.

     

  • The mistress (2)

    The mistress (2)

    I stared warily at Frank’s visibly angry wife, mentally preparing myself for a ‘battle royale’. But the woman ignored me, instead focusing all her anger on her husband.

    “Frank, is that all you can say? I catch you in the act with your girlfriend and you say I’m disturbing you? The last time I checked, I’m still your wife and we are still married! As your wife, I cannot put up this!”

    “Well, you know what to do if you can’t cope with the situation. Just get out! And leave me alone!”

    To that, she retorted:

    “I should leave you alone, abi? So, you can have the freedom to go around carrying anything in skirts! Well, I’m going nowhere! I’m your wife, the mother of your only child! You can’t kick me out! Never!” No way….!”

    Frank, who seemed to be getting more worked up by the minute, fired back at her and soon, a full-blown quarrel ensured.

    As the quarrel between the two intensified, I quietly left Frank’s lap and picking up my bag, headed for the door. But the woman, sighting me, blocked my path.

    “And you, where do you think you are going? Stay o! Since we are now mates and are sharing the same man! Stay so I can tell you what this man really is- a chronic womaniser! You are feeling cool now because you think he loves you. Well, listen up girl! He will only use you and dump you like he did to all the others! You think you are the first mistress he has kept? I feel sorry for you! I will advice you to go and look for your own man and leave my husband alone. Little bitch! Ashawo! Husband snatcher!” she screamed at me. She continued to rant and pour more invectives on me, ignoring Frank’s words to her ‘to shut the hell up!’

    I did not reply her and at last, I succeeded in getting away from her and left the office hurriedly. It was not that I could not withstand her if it came to a verbal or physical combat that I left. I just did not want to create any scene that would embarrass my Frank. So, I let ‘sleeping dogs lie’ and went my way.

    Later that evening, Frank came to see me at my workplace. He was full of apologies about his wife’s behaviour, assuring me that there would never be a repeat of the incident.

    “You see why I don’t like going home? She’s so quarrelsome and aggressive, always spoiling for a fight,” he grumbled as we sat in his car outside the hospital gate.

    Turning to me, he took my hand in his and said:

    “One of the things I like about you is that you are so cool and calm. Some other girls would have stayed and fought with her! But you walked away. Thanks, love,” he stated, kissing me on the cheek.

    It was on our next date that he told me about his wife and the state of his marriage.

    “We are having serious problems in our home right now,” he said. The problem, he explained had to do with her inability to have more children.

    “Sometime ago, she had a serious health problem and her womb had to be removed. Now, I want more children especially sons and she can’t give me that. It’s really frustrating!”

    I sympathised with him, stating:

    “I’m really sorry to hear that,” I said with some sincerity.

    “Thanks, sweetheart,” he replied.

    Sometime later, he said something that really surprised me:

    “I love you Nicole and I want you in my life. Always. As soon as you get pregnant, I will marry you,” he promised. I was really taken aback by his proposal. I knew Frank loved me but not to the extent of marrying me. And what about his wife of eight years, I wondered. What was he going to do about her? I was not too keen on being a second wife and knowing my parents, especially my mum, they would not be in support as well.

    But Frank allayed my fears saying:

    “Don’t worry about my wife. I will take care of it. So, leave it to me. Just give me a child, especially a son and you will see what I will do for you.”

     

    Baby news

    I believed and trusted Frank and based on that and the love I had for him, I decided to give him what he wanted. I got pregnant about three months later and when I broke the news to Frank, he was so happy, he was like a man who had won the lottery!

    “Wow!” That’s great news!” he stated excitedly. He immediately began making plans for my delivery which he insisted must be outside the country.

    “I don’t trust our hospitals. Nothing must happen to my boy. So, you will be going to the U.K for the birth later,” he declared as he fondly caressed my tummy.

    “Boy? What makes you think it’s a boy? I’ve not even done a scan!” I said, smiling.

    “Who needs a scan? From the shape of your tummy I can tell its a boy,” he said. I laughed, feeling happy at the way things had turned out.

    My joy at my baby news was however short lived. When I broke the news to my parents that I was expecting Frank’s child, the reaction was not good. My mother expectedly, hit the roof at the news.

    “Pregnant you say? You see yourself? So, that’s how you will end up, as a second wife! I warned you but you would not listen. Stupid girl!” she stated angrily.

    As for my father, all he was concerned about was that Frank should do the right thing by paying my dowry.

    “Dowry ke!” my mother countered. “That’s all you are interested in- money! Go ahead! Marry her off to Frank because he is rich! Just count me out of this! I’m not a party to this nonsense,” she said, fuming…

     

    •What next? Join us next Saturday for the rest of Nicole’s story

     

    •Names have been changed to protect Nichole’s identity and other individuals in the story

    •Send comments/suggestions to psaduwa@yahoo.com, psaduwa007@gmail.com or 08023201831

     

  • The mistress (1)

    They say that a mother is often her daughter’s best friend, confidant and the only one you can trust in this world. Well, for me that saying did not apply because I saw my mother more of an enemy than a friend. As a teenager in secondary school, I would often sneer at her words of advice and wisdom she gave me concerning life, especially men and how to cope with them.

    “This woman and her ‘talk’; she won’t just let me rest!” I would often say to my friends at school and we would laugh.

    You see, my mother was the strict type. She was always restricting my movements and never allowed me to stay out late. I used to envy Diane, my best friend whose parents gave her more freedom. At 15, Diane already had a boyfriend and her mother even permitted her to be sleeping over at his house. I often wished I had a liberal mother like Diane’s- I thought she was cool and my own mother old-fashioned, someone that belonged to ancient times.

    I was young and headstrong then, not realizing that whatever my mother was doing was for my own good. I’m only realizing that now, many years later, after so much has happened in my life, things that should not have occurred if only I had paid attention to my mother’s advice.

    Anyway, here I am in a situation I’m stuck in, with no hope for a solution. How did I get to this state? Well, it’s a long story…

     

    ****

    I should start my story by introducing myself. My name is Nicole and until, my marriage I used to work as a nurse in a top private hospital. Infact, I met Frank, my husband at work. He had fallen ill late one night and had been rushed to the hospital. I was on night duty then. After the doctor had attended to him, the matron had assigned me and a colleague to take good care of him as he was a ‘very important patient.’ I did not know why he should merit special treatment- it was later I found out he was a close relative of a governor in one of the states in the country.

    Anyway, I did my best for the patient- maybe too much. For after he recovered and was discharged, he returned some days later to the hospital, to express gratitude to the staff for their care of him.

    He told us that while he was still on admission, arrangements were being made by his family to fly him abroad. “But I told them, you guys were doing a good job and I was getting good treatment here,” he stated. Before leaving, he gave us some money and also took my number and that of Anna, my colleague.

    Some weeks later, he called me. I was at home resting as it was my day off.

    “How’s your health now?” I asked politely after the pleasantries. He was doing quite well, he said and had even resumed work.

    “I will be traveling to the States next week. Was wondering if I could get you something. What will you like?” he asked.

    I told him he could get me anything nice; we chatted for a while then hung up. A day before his trip, we spoke again and throughout the two weeks he was abroad. It was obvious he was interested in me. I didn’t turn him down when he eventually told me he wanted to date me. I knew he was married with a daughter but I just could not resist him. Besides being good-looking, he was very rich, from a good background and well-connected. I guess I was flattered by his attentions too. What average girl today wouldn’t be?

    Anyway, I started seeing Frank and it was a new beginning for me. I enjoyed being with him so much and all the good things he did for me that I dumped Gabe, my boyfriend of three years. He was very upset about it and even reported me to my mother.

    Of course, my Mum was not happy when she found out who my new boyfriend was.

    “Oma,” she started, calling me by my native name. “How could you? How can you been dating a married man? If what Gabe has just told me is true, you must stop this relationship at once! I did not bring you up to be wayward! This must stop. Now!” she said furiously.

    Of course, I ignored her words. I was far too gone in my relationship with Frank to end it. So, I told my mother that at 24, I was old enough to know what I wanted and it was Frank I wanted to be with.

    “Can you just hear yourself? You want to be with a married man? Of what good is that? Do you want to be a home wrecker? You better mend your ways because this path you have chosen will lead you no where! Mark my words! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” she screamed at me.

    That day, I angrily stormed out of the house. ‘Spoilsport,’ I thought, believing that my mother did not want me to be happy and was only out to ruin my relationship with ‘the love of my life,’ Frank

     

    Meeting madam

    Anyway, I continued to see Frank. As our relationship waxed stronger, so did my mother’s opposition to it. My father, who was retired after many years of working as a teacher was pragmatic about the matter.

    “Let her see whoever she wants to. She has to get married one day. Or you want her to stay here and get old in my house?” he asked my mother who angrily turned on him stating:

    “Is that all you can say about this issue? Your daughter is running around town with a married man and you don’t see anything wrong with it? Now I know where she got this behaviour from- it must be from your side of the family because we don’t have wayward people in my family!”

    It wasn’t just my parents who were divided over my relationship with Frank. My siblings too were split along those against and those in support. I was the last born in a family of six- three girls and two boys and you can say I was spoilt being the last. At least, that’s what my mother always used to say.

    Whatever my family felt about Frank, I didn’t care. I was having fun with him and that’s what mattered. We had been seeing each other for nearly ten months when I came face to face with his wife. It happened one day when I had paid a visit to my sweetheart in his office. As usual, he was happy to see me.

    “You are looking very sweet today,” he said, beckoning on me to come and sit on his lap.

    I moved over, sat down and he kissed me. We were sitting that way, just gisting and laughing when the door to his large office opened and a woman entered.

    It was my lover’s wife. I recognised her from a photo of hers I had seen in a magazine once.

    A shocked look came over her face when she saw Frank and I. Coming closer, she stated furiously:

    “Frank, what’s going on here?”

    Looking at her from head to toe, an angry look on his face, he retorted:

    “And you, what are you doing here? Did I send for you? You better go back home and mind your business and stop disturbing me! Busybody woman!”

    I tried getting up from Frank’s lap but he held me down. So, I sat still, my heart beating fast, expecting the irate woman to pounce on me any minute…

    •What happened to Nicole that day? Don’t miss the sizzling details next Saturday!

    •Names have been changed to protect Nichole’s identity and other individuals in the story

    •Send comments/suggestions to psaduwa@yahoo.com, psaduwa007@gmail.com or 08023201831

     

  • Two friends asking me out….

    Hi Aunty Dee. I am in a dilemma; two close friends are asking me out (without each of them knowing). How can I accept for one and refuse the other without causing a fight between them? Stephanie.

    Dear Stephanie, it happens every time that two people closely related or friends fall in love with the same person. It’s possible that both are very serious about you and it’s also possible that both are very nice boys. What is not possible is for both of them to be the same kind of people in the way they talk and do things. There must be something about one of them that makes him more special than the other.

    You need a lot of wisdom and maturity in dealing with this issue and if both of them are matured, you should sail through it without drowning. Make it known to both of them that the other person is also interested in you and that you can’t have the two of them at the same time. You have to be bold about naming the one you have preference for and let the other person know that you all can remain friends since you’re still in the same group of friends. But if after all said and done, there is any trace of animosity, let them be. There are so many fishes in the river, you can always find a good guy elsewhere without upsetting a good friendship.

  • What men really want in bed

    Enthusiasm

    When it comes to sex, you can get an ‘A’ for effort. Guys want to be with someone who’s actually into sex and not doing it as a favour or just going through the motions. ‘There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover,’ says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. ‘That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him!’

    New tricks

    Men want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. That doesn’t mean you have to go all 50 Shades of Grey. Just be open to ideas. ‘Sexual desire is like an appetite,’ says Paget. ‘We all want to try different flavours – otherwise we’d get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations.’

    Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don’t think of it as a can of worms. Most likely the occasional change-up is all he needs.

    Praise

    We normally think of women as the ones who need reassurance about their appearance, but men get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him.

    ‘Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on,’ says Paget. ‘It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humour that she finds incredibly sexy.’

    Bossiness

    It’s not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do – at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they’ll succeed at pleasuring you.

    ‘A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses is preferred as it takes away the guess work,’ says Paget. ‘Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!’

    Confidence

    Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts. ‘Indirect lighting is Hollywood’s best friend and it can be yours as well,’ says Paget. ‘Need I repeat that men are visual creatures and they want to see their partner? It’s a big part of their turn-on factor.’ Confidence is sexier than anything!

    Sex on the brain

    A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom – and that’s sexy. Try sexting him or be extra naughty and playful in public. ‘Do it in a discreet way,’ say Paget. ‘Let your partner know that you’re thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source.’

    Flair for fantasy

    A man craves someone who will listen to his fantasies – and tell him hers. ‘Many men are scared to share their fantasies as their partner may react by saying, ‘You have got to be kidding, that’s sick,’’ says Paget.

    ‘You don’t need to give him his exact fantasy but instead try negotiating how you’d both like to feel during the fantasy. Create your own scenario together.’

    Initiative

    Guys want someone who sometimes initiates sex but also lets him ‘be the man’. ‘It’s in a man’s DNA to be the caretaker, which also translates into the bedroom,’ says Dr. Sadie Allison, America’s Pleasure Coach and author of Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking,www.TickleKitty.com.

    ‘So while most men love to be in charge, always being the initiator can get old. It’s hot when a woman takes control and shows him that she wants him. It’s actually every man’s fantasy to surrender for just a little while!’

    Dirty talk

    Men love hearing a play-by-play of what’s happening during sex – or what you want to happen next.

    ‘What men see, hear and feel are direct lines to the ‘other brain,’’ says Allison. ‘Dirty talk is just another fun way to arouse your man. It also turns them on psychologically because men are super attracted to women who are sexually uninhibited.’

    Hero worship

    All men want attention showered on them – especially if that attention is on his private area! Yes, other aspects of sex are important, too. But let’s be honest, most men are fixated on oral sex and any other activities that are genital-focused.

    ‘Stroke his ego by stroking his cock,’ says Allison. ‘Being a generous lover is key. Worshipping his jewels as much as he does is a good way to keep him totally into you.’

    A massage

    What guy doesn’t want a woman who gives great… massages? And not just the sexual sort, though they can be very erotic. Men want to feel good all over, just like you do.

    ‘Touch is a basic human desire,’ says Allison. ‘Sensual or not, it can be one of the greatest gifts a person can receive. Touching all over usually leads to something more fun anyway.’

    Lace

    You might think, why waste money on lingerie that’s just going to get crumpled up in a ball and tossed on the floor in two seconds? But men are visual and seeing the present they are about to unwrap is important to them!

    ‘A guy likes the ‘for his eyes only’ component of this, with the sneak peak of your body being a total turn-on,’ says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover.

    ‘Unwrapping you also boosts his ego because he knows you are like a gift, and all his.

    Courtesy: iVillage.co.uk