Tag: marriage

  • 15-yr-old marriage dissolved over abandonment, denial of conjugal rights

    A Customary Court in Agege, Lagos State, on Tuesday dissolved the 15-year-old marriage between Kasoki Olekanma and his wife Ibukun over denial of conjugal rights.

    The court also dissolved the marriage on grounds that Ibukun abandoned her husband and her four children.

    President of the court, Mr Phillips Williams, held that the marriage could no longer stand because “love which is the key ingredient of a valid marriage no longer exists.

    “It leaves no one in doubt that the marriage had broken down irretrievably.

    “Consequently, I hereby order that the marriage between Kasoki Olekanma and Ibukun contracted in 2002 stands dissolved.

    “The respondent (Ibukun) is hereby ordered to vacate the home of the petitioner, return her bride price and revert to her maiden or other name of her choice,’’ he said.

    He urged both parties to keep the peace and not to threaten themselves.

    Olekanma, 51, had filed a suit claiming that his wife was no longer interested in the marriage and had deserted him and their four children.

    He said his wife lacked respect and had also failed in her conjugal duties, having left their home since Feb. 11, 2013 on her own volition.

    “Prior to the time Ibukun left home, she told me she had secured a job in Ado-Ekiti.

    “I asked her how the children will be taken care of in her absence, but she told me to take care of them since I was used to doing so

    “I waited for Ibukun for three and half years, but she never returned home. She abandoned me and the children without looking back,” he said

    Olekanma, urged the court to dissolve the marriage, give him custody of their four children and to award him any other consequential orders as the court may deem fit.

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the respondent (Ibukun) was absent in court, but sent a message that she was no longer interested in the marriage and that the dissolution could go on in her absence. (NAN)

  • Amazing: Three pregnancies aborted in four-year marriage

    A caterer, Ayodele Oluwakemi, on Friday prayed an Agege Customary Court in Lagos to dissolve her four-year-old marriage because her husband forced her to terminate three pregnancies.

    She said that there was also no love lost between her and her husband, Famurewa Oladimeji.

    Oluwakemi, 28, residing at No. 5, Adekanbi Taylor Close, Okeira in Ogba, near Lagos, also stated that her husband was irresponsible and did not care for her and their three-year-old daughter.

    The petitioner also told court that her husband abandoned her and the daughter.

    “My husband lies a lot. Initially, when I met him, he lied that he was working, which I found out later was all lies.

    “Whenever I ask him for money, he keeps giving me excuses and refuses to drop money.

    “Later, I became pregnant for him and my husband forced me to abort it, saying he was not ready financially.”

    Oluwakemi disclosed that she had aborted three pregnancies on the insistence of the respondent, whom she described as highly irresponsible and lazy.

    “He never had an apartment of his own and kept collecting money from me until I insisted he got a proper job or business.’’

    The petitioner said that when she conceived of their only child, her father refused her husband’s marriage proposal, until he got an apartment of his own.

    “Whenever I call him, he always told me that he will call me back, which he never did,” the estranged woman said.

    She begged court to terminate the marriage, saying that she wanted to move on with her life and also wanted the respondent to be responsible for the upkeep of their child.

    Oladimeji, 34, a businessman, however denied the allegations but said that he no longer loved Oluwakemi, pleading with court to dissolve the marriage.

    He alleged that when Oluwakemi took in for him, her father threatened to kill him.

    “I accepted to take up responsibility when my wife became pregnant. My family and I went with the marriage proposal but her father refused to attend to us.’’

    Oladimeji said that he felt his wife’s father refused his proposal because he didn’t have a good job.

    “My wife’s parents do not accord me the proper respect as their daughter’s husband. They disregard me and call me all sorts of names.’’

    He said that his father-in-law had prevented him from seeing his child.

    “My father in-law threatened me to stay away from my wife and also stopped me from seeing my child.’’

    The President of the court, Mr Phillips Williams, admonished the estranged couple and scolded the petitioner for terminating three pregnancies.

    Williams adjourned the case till Feb. 28 for hearing. (NAN)

  • Court dissolves 9-year-old marriage for lack of affection

    An Ado-Ekiti Customary Court on Friday dissolved a nine-year-old marriage between Adeniyi Eiyebiokin and his wife, Adeola, for lack of affection, love and respect for parents.

    Eiyebiokin, 31, an artist, told the court that Adeola had no respect for his parents and often quarrel with his mother.

    The father of one, said he was tired of the union because he could no longer  leave under the same roof with a woman that he had no affection and love.

    He appealed to the court to dissolve his marriage to Adeola to enable him have peace of mind and free from incessant quarrel with his mother.

    He further appealed to the court to award the custody of his eight year old child to ‎him for proper upbringing.

    Adeola, 29, a fashion designer, admitted all the allegation and said that the petitioner ‎sent her packing in 2009.

    She said that she had a quarrel with his mother and took her child into his custody at the age of one year and one month then.

    Adeola told the court that since the incident occurred in 2009, they had both lived separately.

    The respondent, therefore, urged the court to dissolve the union because she was no longer interested in the marriage.

    She, however, appealed to the court to order the petitioner to pay the feeding and education of his child.

    The respondent also prayed the court to award the child in the custody of the petitioner’s mother‎ to her for proper care.

    The President of the court, Mr Joseph Ogunsemi‎, in his judgment observed that the marriage had broken down irretrievably and consequently dissolved the marriage.

    He awarded custody of the child to the petitioner’s mother‎ for proper upkeep and upbringing.

    Ogunsemi ordered the ‎petitioner to be responsible for the feeding and education of the child at all levels.

    He, however, ruled that respondent should have unrestricted access to the ‎child.

  • 22-year-old marriage dissolved

    A customary court at Aba-na-Ohazu, near Aba, Abia State, has dissolved a 22-year-old marriage between Maduka Isaiah and his wife, Nwaburu, on the grounds of denial of conjugal rights and irresponsible behaviour.

    The dissolution followed a suit by Maduka alleging his wife had changed, as she refused to give him his matrimonial rights.

    The petitioner said: “She comes into the house when she likes and goes out without telling me her destination. She does not respect me.

    “Nwaburu is cruel. Her attitude shows there is no more love between us.

    “Despite complaining to her relations about her bad behaviour, she has remained impervious, prompting me to sue her.”

    He prayed the court to dissolve the marriage and give him custody of their two daughters.

    The respondent was absent.

    The President, Diamond Olewengwa, dissolved the union “because it has broken up.

    “The respondent is ordered to vacate the petitioner’s home, return N30 dowry and revert to her maiden name or other name of her choice.”

     

  • Wife seeks divorce over `sex starvation’

    A 20-year-old woman, Mrs. Salamatu Haruna, on Wednesday asked a Mararaba Upper Area Court, Nasarawa State, to dissolve her one-year-old marriage with Mr.   Bello Musa, on grounds of `sex starvation.’

    She told the court that the “husband no longer cares nor sleeps with her again.’’

    Salamatu accused her husband of “denying her sex and exhibiting unstable attitude.’’

    Salamatu also told the court that she is Musa’s second wife and married to him since January 2016, in accordance with Islamic law and customs.

    She said that she was not getting the necessary satisfaction as he failed to perform his duties as a man since after September 2016.

    “I want this honourable court to dissolve this marriage because I am not happy in the marriage.

    “The last time he slept with me was after the 2016 sallah period, and since then he has not touched me.

    “Even when he comes around the house after a long while, it is usually in an odd hour with numerous excuses, and leaves before the early morning prayer.

    “Whenever he leaves that early, I usually do not know where he goes, even though he claims to be a mason,” she said.

    Salamatu prayed the court to grant her request, as she had made effort to persuade her husband to grant her local divorce to no avail.

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the respondent was not in court even though he was served hearing notice.

    The judge, Mr Ibrahim Shekarau, adjourned the case till Feb. 7, to give the couple more time to settle out of court.

  • 33-year-old marriage dissolved over denial of sex , irrational behaviour

    An Aba-na-Ohazu Customary Court, near Aba, on Tuesday dissolved a 33 –year-old marriage between Eugene Okoli and his wife, Harrieth, on grounds of denial of conjugal rights and irrational behaviour.

    The dissolution of the marriage, contracted in 1983, followed a suit filed by Okoli claiming that his wife had been behaving irrationally and had denied him sex for 8 years running.

    “My wife is cantankerous and nagging, without justifiable cause. She has for over 8 years now denied me my conjugal rights.

    “She now reacts to me in a despicable manner, which I think is intolerable. And all the efforts I have made to reconcile with her have failed because of her intransigence.

    “From her ways of doing things now, it is clear that there is no more love existing between us,” he submitted.

    He, therefore, prayed the court to dissolve the marriage having seen evidences that it had broken down irretrievably.

    In her defence, she alleged that her husband beats her at will, for which she had reported him to the Human Rights Commission at their zonal office which serves Abia in Enugu, Enugu State.

    She stressed that she entrusted her husband with the gains of her trading, which gave the family three shops at Cemetery Market and 4 plots of land in Aba and had benefitted much from her efforts.

    She said that her husband had sold out two plots of the land with only two remaining now, while occupying the four rooms bungalow built in one of them at Alaoji, Ugwunagbor LGA, Aba.

    Harrieth, therefore, rejected the idea of dissolution of the marriage but opted for separation between her and her husband.
    Magistrate Diamond Olewengwa, having heard the parties, noted that it was obvious that the parties were no longer compatible as love, which is a cardinal point of marriage, was now extinct.

    “ Indeed, I am of the view that rather than continue to live in a union that may lead to either party losing his or her life, it is better to severe them for both to remain alive,” he ruled.

    The magistrate, therefore, declared the marriage dissolved and asked Harrieth to return her N1, 100 bride price, hence both are now free to remarry anybody of their choice.

    Olewengwa granted Harrieth continued ownership of two out of three shops she claimed and gave Eugene ownership of the remaining properties the family owned. (NAN)

  • I had to set ‘NO GO AREAS’ for the sake  of my marriage  –UNILAG Deputy  V-C Duro Oni

    I had to set ‘NO GO AREAS’ for the sake of my marriage –UNILAG Deputy V-C Duro Oni

    In many ways, Professor Duro Oni is a top rated academic with a difference. He is the Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Management Services) of the University of Lagos. He readily tells you, “I like to look good, not necessarily expensive. I don’t have a bulging stomach and most of what I wear fit. My dress sense is a little eclectic. I love wearing Western suits, Chinese suits and traditional wear. Casuals also look good on me. At least that is what people say!” One of the egg-heads in the nation’s ivory towers, Prof. Oni was once the Director General of the Federal Government cultural arm known as the Centre for Black and African Arts and Civilisation (CBAAC) which, this month, will be celebrating 40 years of existence. In this interview with PAUL UKPABIO and JUMOKE OWOOLA, Prof. Oni shares with us the value system that took him to the upper echelon of the ivory tower and the cultural values that would likely see Nigeria out of the recession into a greater nation.

    WHAT does it feel like to be the Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the University of Lagos? And more importantly, how does management control the peace on campus?

    It certainly feels good being DVC. One is one of the top three people in the University management; the VC being first and then two DVCs. It is an influential position, but essentially a supportive one: One that supports the Vice-Chancellor to succeed. Peace can sometimes be elusive, but what is important is continuous dialogue with all the four staff unions (ASUU, SSANU, NAAT & NASU) and also the students union. We meet regularly to anticipate problems that may occur and try to find solutions within the capacity of management.

    Let’s talk about your early life, how did your early life influence the person that you are today?

    I recall growing up in our large family house in No. 66, Bosso Road, Minna, Niger State. My parents were very enterprising and I learnt a lot from them. I was not forced to study at home, because I always came 1st in school. I had a nickname: “Ori ni iwe wa”! – meaning that the knowledge was in the head … that the knowledge that I would gain from reading at home was already in my head. While the other kids were compelled to study at home, I was left to study as I deemed fit. I see myself as a very enterprising person with solutions to most problems that prop up.

    Tell us a few things you remember about your childhood and a few about your parents.

    I grew up in the railway town of Minna and my mother ran a restaurant in the Railway Station and also one in our St. Peter’s Primary School. So, there was always plenty to eat. My father traded in Shea nuts which he bought from the Gwari women, dried them and shipped them to Lagos and on to Liverpool. And because of my father’s constant travels and my apparent “brilliance”, I was his manager and accountant rolled into one. I ran his business when I was in the primary school and he even taught me how to sign his signature if we needed money in his absence. He had of course introduced me to his friend, the ACB Bank Manager. My father was fond of spending brand new coins then and later brand new notes and was known as “Sabon Kudi” – meaning new money! I took after him in that regard and usually have new notes.

    What influenced your choice of being an academic?

    I trained initially as a professional and enjoyed my work thoroughly. I also made a little money designing and consulting for the NTA, NBL, Guinness, Xerox and so on. Then, circumstances changed, and I had to get more into academics and later took a Ph.D from the University of Ibadan. Now, I have the rare privilege of being an academic and also a professional.

    So, who influenced you most in life, your mom or your dad?

    My mother did, more than my dad. This is usually the case in a polygamous home. We did not lack much, though, as my father was very well off. We lived in our own house and my father drove us to school. But my mother was so much more caring and practically ensured that I didn’t lack any essential things.

    Which do you prefer, working in a place like CBAAC and working in an academic community like this?

    (Laughs) There is no basis for comparison. I am an academic and I have worked in the academic system, literally all my life. And what you must also know is that when I went to CBAAC to work, I was on leave of absence from the University of Lagos. So after that assignment, I quickly returned to my base. At CBAAC, what I did was trying to re-engineer the sector, make my contribution and return to base. We have a very vibrant department of creative arts which I initiated the idea of, and was head of the department at some point. I was the Dean of the Faculty of Arts at some point too and currently the Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the university.

    You were at CBAAC, what would you say were the gains?

    What we did with CBAAC was to essentially internalise its function, that it is a parastatal that goes beyond Nigeria, even though after Festac 77, Nigeria opted to keep all the materials that were used at CBAAC. But it is not keeping them as artefacts of museum pieces but to use them in understanding art to the present and projecting to the future. That was why during my time at CBAAC, we tried very hard to intellectualise the activities of CBAAC. We had lot of emphasis on public lectures, seminars, colloquiums and so on. All that helped put CBAAC on a pedestal. And of course, Professor Tunde Babawale took over from me and he also raised the bar at CBAAC. So that is what CBAAC is; it goes beyond looking at artefacts. In fact, we even went as far as digitalising the materials because that enabled us to save them from eventual decay. By this January 2017, the country will be marking 40 years of CBAAC. So whatever method that has been used to preserve a document for 40 years, must have been a good preservation method. And for a while, CBAAC was at the National Theatre. And there were problems with the National Theatre: humidity, power problems, and all of that.

    For those that do not know, what would you say has been the benefit of CBAAC over the years?

    What you must understand is that there are between 10 and 13 parastatals in the Ministry of Culture, each of them with their various functions: the National Theatre, National Troupe, The National Institute for Cultural Orientation, the National Council for Arts and Culture and so on. CBAAC is the intellectual arm of the culture sector, it is the one that generates ideas for the sector and propels the cultural sector in the direction that they should be going. That is why a lot of emphasis is placed on those activities of an intellectual nature that would propel the black man and the black race to catapult them to a place where ideas are generated towards the benefit of mankind. And that is the emphasis and relevance of CBAAC. The other parastatals have their roles which I believe they are doing quite well, but CBAAC symbolises the intellectualism of the black man, the black race, and highlights his contribution to world discourse and world development.

    You said CBAAC will be celebrating 40 soon. As a stakeholder, in what ways would you have liked CBAAC to celebrate at this time?

    That would be a good one for the CEO of CBAAC to take on. But I would have laid a lot of emphasis on the intellectual contribution of CBAAC to human development, to Africa, to the world and of course to Nigeria. It is not an occasion at this stage for carnival dancing. The world is shifting away from that, we have got issues relating to Nollywood. When they started, it was about poorly produced movies but they kept at it, and it has improved tremendously. Now there are quite a lot of discussions around the world on the contributions of CBAAC and how low budget films can be made to tell the stories that are being told now. There is hardly anywhere in the world now that our Nollywood movies have not got to, and I have been to quite a number of countries. You get to some far away places and someone stops you and upon finding out that you are a Nigerian, they ask you for Nollywood movies. So these are some of the things that I believe that CBAAC should be contributing to the intellectual discourse about the black man and his place in the world that we all live in.

    In what ways can one say Nollywood is a blessing?

    In many ways, it may have had its issues at the beginning, with errors here and there, but the industry has been re-hauling itself. The story lines have got better, the practitioners themselves have from time to time got together to advise themselves on ways to re-jig their industry and they have formed themselves into groups to better their lives. Though there are still more problems to be solved like the issue of ‘the medicine man’ and so on, but quite a lot of research has been done on Nollywood; works of Hyginus Ekwazi, Onokome Okome, the Late Foluke Ogunleye, some foreigners (Jonathan Haynes) too have done some work; even I have done some works too. It is an on-going exercise. We have been engaging the practitioners at different fora. Sometimes we invite them to our discourse. Sometime ago, you probably would have noticed that some of the movie translations from Yoruba to English or vice versa were so terrible. But those issues are now gradually being addressed. There is a lot of improvement but there is still some more work to be done.

    In a state of recession like this, what role can agriculture play in revitalising our cultural values?

    The government is trying to promote agriculture in the country because food security is very important to existence and nature. Look at the word ‘agriculture’. It also has culture in it, which is more about how you grow your food within the culture of the society in which that food is grown. Within that framework, to get food security means we must get organised and go beyond the production of one man who has a hoe and cutlass, lives in Benue State and has a farm where he grows yams, or plants mangoes in Taraba State or Jalingo, or in Minna with all the millet and so on. We must get into mechanised agricultural enterprises and that will have to relate, in my view, with a co-operative arrangement whereby the farmers are not on their own trying to grow food for themselves and for subsistence and a little bit of trying to sell.

    During the time of the Late Chief Obafemi Awolowo, he organised a lot of people in the community to get into cooperative farming. So, this is the cultural aspect of our ability to grow enough food. We must grow above each farmer trying to grow for himself alone, in which case they will be able to rent equipment so that the job that 50 farmers can do in a day, mechanised farming would do in one hour. That is the relationship between culture as a way and life of a people and the way they grow their food and other agricultural practices.

    How do we curb our appetite for foreign products?

    These things have been on for some time in Nigerian society. People tend to like what is imported even when it is second hand clothing that they don’t know the sources of. But the government must continue to encourage local production. Recently, Professor Bolaji Akinyemi gave a lecture at the University of Ibadan where he pointed out that a country that spends billions of naira in importing things like tooth pick cannot develop. So the issue of importation of rice has become a culture that is undesirable. I recall when I was growing up, rice was food that was cooked on Sundays or only on ceremonial days. We had our own staple foods; in the morning it was akara, moimoin and ogi, that is, pap. In the afternoon, we had boiled yam and in the late evening, it was pounded yam. So there is a need for a resurgence of that culture of consuming what we produce. I know that there is now the new culture of fast foods. But one is happy that some of the tendency of these fast food joints has changed direction. In those days, all they sold was foreign pastries. But now, there is a lot of emphasis on jollof rice, which is very Nigerian and then they have Nigerian section with pounded yam, amala, bitter leaf soup, ogbono that also has grown; it is a revolutionary process.

    Is our art attractive to foreigners?

    I have always maintained that it must first be attractive to us. You cannot generate foreign tourism when you do not have domestic tourism. We must first like what we produce before we can offer it to some other persons. If you ask a few wealthy Nigerians what Ikogosi Warm Spring looks like, they do not know. But they can tell you how the Eiffel Tower looks like in Paris; the Big Ben in London, they are very familiar with those. If you look at the countries that have developed rapidly within the last few decades like China, Korea and others, you will find out that they take a lot of pride in their countries, in terms of the things they eat, the things they wear. Of course within the Nigerian context and even worldwide, you see a lot of Chinese restaurants around the world. But what gladdens my heart is that all around the world too these days, you see a lot of Nigerian restaurants. There are plenty of Nigerian restaurants out there and they are doing well. That is why culture is a dynamic phenomenon. It is not static. So, we make certain losses here and gain some there too.

    Talking about gains and losses, our products are indeed going outside, but how about inside? And then also, how about the food insufficiency that we are hearing these days?

    Yes, we ought to be consuming a lot of the things we produce. But again there is some dishonesty in the part of some organs. They say they are selling fertilisers to farmers and all that, but as it is, I was in Abeokuta for the Ake Festival and there was a panel and a gentleman who said he has driven across Nigeria and what he saw is that we do not have arid land, that we have land that we can do nothing about! The entire western region during the time of Chief Awolowo was developed based on locally produced commodities. And everything was going on so well. In the north, they had the groundnut pyramids; then cotton and so on. Then, the oil boom came and everyone seemed to have abandoned those essential commodities that made us great people. We all became dependent on oil. And all we needed was a crash in the oil price and Nigeria went into recession. Now, there are talks that if we are not careful, the recession can degenerate into depression. But I believe that we are still a great country.

    Why is it that our government does not support research?

    No, government supports research. I am in a university system, so I know government does. There are a lot of researches that have different access to lot of research funds. There is the university fund that is given to researchers depending on how much they need; then there is the Tetfund, the tertiary education fund. You can have an individual research fund or a consortium that cuts across several disciplines in terms of research. You can get funding sometimes up to N30million or N40million. Then, there are also the international funding agencies. It depends on what you are doing. I have a research group, we are doing work on contributions of Nollywood to nation building, and it is a huge project, peace building and integration in Nigeria through Nollywood films. This is a proposal beyond the Tetfund, it cuts across a few universities in Nigeria; it also involves a university in the United States and will take about two years to complete what we are looking at. And that is the kind of things that those who sponsor researches are looking for. Tetfund is a Federal Government parastatal, which has done a lot of good to the university system. They have been involved in capacity development, physical structure development, with most of the structures on university campuses being funded by Tetfund at the federal and state universities.

    From what you are saying, there is still hope for Nigeria.

    Of course, there is hope for Nigeria. The country has great potentials. I tell people that if there is anything like reincarnation, I want to return to Nigeria. Once we sort out the leadership and corruption issues, we will be okay. We may not be where we want to be, but we are coming up. We also have to get the issue of power right.

    Some say a man is not complete without a better half, we hear you met your wife during the Festac 77 celebration in Lagos. How has the union joined by Festac 77 been?

    My wife is from Ogoja in Cross River State. For me, it has been a pleasant feeling; the marriage has been blessed right from that Festac 77. Though we met at Festac 77 but we didn’t get married until 1984. We have two young men and two ladies who are all now university graduates. My wife’s career progressed, and she retired as the head of the Nigerian Film Corporation in Ikoyi, the Lagos office. So, her career blossomed to the point that she retired and my career too blossomed to my present position. So we continue to thank God. In my home, we usually recall Festac 77 with nostalgia. And I am lucky to still be around to talk about this.

    Can you describe yourself?

    I am someone whose life is devoted to helping others.

    If you were not what you are now, what else would you have loved to be?

    I would have loved to be a professional Lighting Designer for Theatre, TV and Film

    To have been in marriage this long tells a lot about your personalities, but how have you been able to handle attraction from opposite sex to survive this long in marriage despite working on campus?

    I have been married for 32 years plus. Attraction would always be there, from all angles, especially when you are perceived to be doing well. Certain things are no go areas to maintain your sanity and integrity. The higher you go, the more care you need to take.

    What do you value most?

    Hard work; integrity, loyalty and dedication

    Are you fulfilled?

    Very much so. I have a lot to be grateful to God for.

    How do you spend your holidays? Do you have memories of a particular holiday you enjoyed most?

    I enjoy international and local travels. I have been to some 60 countries in the world and have been to all the states in Nigeria. I once went to Bermuda and the experience was exhilarating.

    What inspires you?

    Hard work that leads to deserved achievements and good leadership.

  • Okowa, wife celebrate 30 years of marriage

    A few days ago, the home of the Delta State governor was in celebratory mood. But it had nothing to do with the festive season. The first couple of the state, Ifeanyi Okowa and his beautiful wife Edith, celebrated the 30th anniversary of their union.

    Like a ship steered by a master captain sailing serenely on the high seas, the Okowas’ marriage has outlasted all the snares life has tested it with. That is why the Okowas threw all restraint to the winds to hold a spectacular celebration in honour of a love that is still growing strong.

    The lush event featured a display of pomp and exquisite entertainment. The joyous couple totally gave themselves over to the moment as they relished the day in the company of family members and friends.

  • How to improve on your marriage (5)

    Dear Reader,

    I strongly believe you enjoyed the Christmas celebration. I feel so delighted to say to you: Happy New Year in advance! Sounds of joy shall not cease from your habitation in Jesus’ name.

    I started this teaching by notifying you that marriage is a miracle. Also, I unveiled to you marriage covenant responsibilities. I also taught on beware of divorce. Today, as 2016 gradually rolls by and never to be observed again, I wish for you to Make Right the Wrongs of your Marriage Covenant!

    Time never corrects an error! An error yesterday remains an error today, except it is corrected. You can make a wrong, right!  Many people, today, pass through a lot of difficulties in their marriage because of a wrong foundation in their marriage. I have seen women being driven out of their homes at the death of their husbands, because their union was “illegal”. The woman had no voice, because she had no legal backing. Wisdom is profitable to direct (Ecclesiastes 10:10).

    I remember a woman I counselled sometime ago. She had been going through tough times in her home, and was ready to call it quits. To top it up, she had no child. When I interviewed her closely, I discovered that there were a lot of loopholes in her marriage. Her dowry was not paid, and there was nothing legally binding herself and the man together, as husband and wife. No court wedding, no church wedding; both of them just started living together!

    I counselled her to ensure that the dowry was paid, legal papers signed in the court of law, and that their union be blessed by a minister of the gospel. The next time I saw her, she was over-joyous and full of testimonies. To the glory of God, today all is well with that marriage.  To crown it all, she was expecting a baby as at that time!

    If the foundation of your marriage is not built on instructions from the Word of God, there is no way you will have a fulfilled family life.  It is important, therefore, that you go and pay the dowry, if it has not been paid. This is scriptural!

    Furthermore, parental blessing is very important in a marriage covenant, as read in Genesis 24:58-60. It is something you cannot rule out. There is something about the blessings your parents pronounce on you that makes it stick on you until all their good wishes are established in your life. From the account in the Scripture quoted above, Abraham’s servant did not just grab Rebekah and disappear with her. No! Rather, due procedures were properly followed, and the blessings of her parents became a practical reality in her life.

    It is also very important in your marriage covenant to acknowledge the place of a holy Christian wedding. The Word of God says: And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22). In this verse of Scripture, we see God’s practical involvement in the institution of marriage. He gave Eve out to Adam.  It is, therefore, unsafe for you to go into marriage without God. This will definitely attract the attacks of the devil. You shall not be a victim in Jesus’ name!

    Are you reading this article and have been living together with your partner without the payment of dowry, or any formal engagement/ public Christian wedding? Or you have been living together for years and have even had children, without a proper marriage. This is not a holy union.

    Instead of feeling or living in condemnation, you need to make things right, today, by paying the dowry. Go and legalise your union. A proper legal documentation of your union is that point of contact to remind God that you have fulfilled all righteousness concerning your marriage, and therefore, the enemy must not have access into your family. You can do this simply by going to the court for a court wedding.  Then look for a minister of the gospel to bless your union.

    You need the grace of God to make every wrong, right in your marriage. That grace only is available to those who have acceptable Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. That is what it means to be born again. If you desire to become born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • How to improve on your marriage (4)

    Dear Reader,

    I hope you are fully set for the Christmas celebration by making your home a lively one. It’s a great privilege to share God’s Word with you today, being a day to the celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Have a Merry Christmas in advance!

    This week, I wish to unveil to you How to Provoke Joy and Enjoy a Lively Home during this Christmas season.

    I want you to know that God has designed this season to bring joy to individual lives, homes and marriages all over the world. This joy cannot be traced to man but to God, the source of true joy.

    There are times when one gets excited over some things, but this usually does not bring joy that lasts. Some people have the opportunity to experience joy only at Christmas. Thank God for the month of December, and for Christmas, and the joyful spirit of the season that comes into the home, but this does not only have to be for one season.

    Joy can be made to become an everyday experience in the family, simply by creating the right atmosphere that guarantees a never-ending joy. The right atmosphere for joy to dwell is a Godly one. When your marriage is one that is of God, and everyone at home is born again, then it is easy for a godly atmosphere to be created.

    God’s Word says: Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Psalms 16:11). God makes His presence only available in the homes of His children. The “pleasures” spoken about in the Scripture above, are all those things that will naturally provoke joy in the home. Most of these things are not just simple needs, but things that money may not necessarily buy. Some of them are divine health, protection, provisions, peace, sweet sleep, promotions, success, etc.

    There is a popular song that goes: ‘When Jesus is in a family; happy, happy home…’ This is true! When your home enjoys an atmosphere filled with the presence of God, it will indeed be an ever happy home. That shall be your own portion in Jesus’ name!

    Godly atmosphere is one that is consciously created by the individuals in the home. It involves having the fear of God in the home, and practically obeying His commandments concerning covenant responsibilities by the husband and the wife.

    Therefore, let the husband obey God’s commandment, by carrying out his covenant responsibility of loving his wife. The love responsibility is the instrument a man uses to make his wife a glorious woman, without spot or wrinkle, or any of such things.

    Therefore, the making of any wife is in the hands of her husband. If you want to enjoy a lively home as a husband, then, love your wife as your own body! Love is the price you pay for a lively home, while total submission is what is required of the wife to reciprocate her husband’s love to sustain a lively home, even after Christmas.

    The presence of God in a home means lasting peace in a family. When there is peace, there will be unity in the home and when there is unity, the blessings of God just keep flowing. These blessings include  promotion, success in your various endeavours, health, prosperity, divine direction, etc.

    A home that lacks the presence of God will lack the pleasures and joy that His presence carries. That home will suffer setbacks through lack of peace, stagnation, unfruitfulness, sorrow, hardship, sickness, disunity and lack of joy. The presence of God that emanates from a godly atmosphere is a must, for the family that wants its joy to be sustained after Christmas!

    The right foundation for a godly atmosphere that commands the presence of God and gives lasting peace, and joy everlasting for a lively family, is the one that is connected to His only begotten Son. You can become God’s child by accepting Jesus Christ into your life. That is what it means to be born again. If you are ready to become born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).