The Nation Newspaper

Tag: marriage

  • Cleric seeks divorce from fourth wife after 31 years of marriage

    A 65-year-old clergyman, Olowolade David Laizer, is seeking divorce from his fourth wife, Esther, after 31 years of marriage.

    Laizer, who has six wives, told a customary court sitting in Ikorodu, yesterday, that the 55-year-old Mrs Laizer lacks respect for the house of God.

    The clergyman alleged that his wife rains curses on his church at the slightest provocation and had denied him conjugal rights for over a year.

    Laizer said their problems started when they lost their first son in 2013.

    The deceased was a university student, but died after a brief illness.

    “There was a parental dispute between her family and mine when we wanted to get married, so, we had to do two separate introductions. She even said I would die within three years if I divorced her,” Laizer said.

    Mrs Laizer, a teacher, said her husband preaches about her in the church.

    She said: “He says all sorts of things about me in his sermons. Yes, I’ve denied him of sex for over a year now because he said my private part is smelling…after 31 years of marriage and five children!

    “Four days after I lost my son, his sixth wife came into my room and took my pant and bra. I don’t know what she used it for, but she returned it later. She also cooked for me and put six pieces of meat in the soup. I refused to eat it because I don’t know what that meant for or who sent her.”

    The court’s president, Olu Adebiyi, encouraged both parties to keep the peace and told them to come with their family members on September 14, for possible reconciliation.

  • Pastor’s wife seeks divorce from ‘life threatening’ marriage

    Pastor’s wife seeks divorce from ‘life threatening’ marriage

    Wife of a Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries (MFM) pastor, Mrs Kehinde Genesis, has pleaded with an Alakuko Customary Court in Lagos to end her two-year-old union to Babatunde, for “lack of care, constant fight and threat to my life.”

    The petitioner, 29, who resides at Omikunle Street, Meiran, a Lagos suburb, said her husband’s day was never complete except he rained curses on her.

    Mrs Genesis, a nurse said: “I never imagined it could turn out this way when we got married. We always have issues. As a nurse, whenever my husband is ill, I take care of him but, when I fall sick, he won’t show concern.

    “Even if I spend days in a hospital, my husband expects me to cook for him. There was a time I made soft Eba for him; I expected him to say he preferred the hard one, instead he abused me and accused me of being lazy.

    “I used to love him but not anymore because with everything happening in our marriage, it is like a waste of time. Before I married him, two prophets revealed to me that the person I will marry would kill me. There was a time my husband sent a text message to my siblings asking them to prepare for my burial.”

    The respondent, Genesis, said their marriage troubles started immediately after their honeymoon, decrying the laziness of his wife to cook.

    He also said they rained curses on each other whenever there was a fight and that he only beat her once.

    “My wife keeps lamenting she isn’t a slave whenever I ask her to cook. To avoid trouble, I fetch water and do other things. She is very aggressive and always on the alert to start a fight with me. If I wake my wife around 8am, there will be trouble.

    “Within the 20 months I have spent with her, she usually leaves the house without my consent. It got to a point she had no cloth in the house again. She doesn’t want to be scolded and keeps complaining about lack of care. I really don’t know the kind of care she wants,” he said.

    Genesis, 33, said there was a time he noticed his wife did not menstruate for two months and when he asked her, she said it wasn’t his business.

    “Last year, she aborted the pregnancy out of anger. We have not had sex for over three months before she packed out of the house two weeks ago. I still love her,” he said.

    The court’s President, Mr Olubode Sekoni, ordered the petitioner to stay away from the house to avoid trouble.

    He adjourned the matter till August 31.

  • Woman to court: I no longer feel connected to my husband

    Woman to court: I no longer feel connected to my husband

    A 29-year-old housewife, Maryam Aliyu, has prayed a Mararaba Grade 1 Area Court, to dissolve her 9-year-old marriage to her husband, Abubakar Ja’afaru, for lack of care.

    The marriage, contracted in 2006 according to the Islamic rites, has not produced any issue.

    The petitioner accused her husband of not taking good care of her.

    “My husband does not provide me with food or good clothes; I am the one who always look after myself as if am single.

    ”We have been married for nine years, but no child though our sex life is good, but I don’t feel connected to my husband,

    ”I want the court not to waste time on this case because I don’t want to stay under the same roof with him as my husband anymore,” she said

    Defending the allegations, Ja’afaru said he still loves his wife.
    ”We don’t have children, but I still love her as my wife, I pray the court not to grant her the divorce.

    ”Children comes from Allah and I have faith we will have our children someday.

    ”There is food at home, things had not been easy for me that is why I can’t afford to buy her clothes always, but I do my best as a husband,” Ja’afaru said.

    The Judge, Mr Owuna Musa advised the couples to go home and try to settle.

    He adjourned the case till Aug. 24, to hear the outcome of the settlement or give his judgment.

     

  • Pastor seeks dissolution of marriage over nagging

    Pastor seeks dissolution of marriage over nagging

    A pastor, Tunde Adekunle, on Monday urged an Akure Customary Court to dissolve his 15 year-old marriage to his wife, Agbeke for alleged frequent nagging.

    Adekunle, founder of Christ Living Church, Owo, Ondo State, said that his wife was hell-bent in making life unbearable for him.

    The cleric also told the court that some of the scars on his body were caused by the constant fisticuffs between them, adding that there was no more affection existing in the marriage.

    He said that the respondent was a “disgrace to his pastoral calling’’, noting that she had once torn his cloth in front of his congregation when he was preaching.

    Agbeke, in her response, denied the allegations, but said that she was ready to part with the petitioner.

    He said that the union had produced four children.

    She accused her husband of being promiscuous, night crawling, failure to carrying out marital responsibilities of providing for the house and the upkeep and education of the children.

    The President of the court, Mrs Olayinka Falodun, in her ruling urged the petitioner to take care of the welfare of the children.

    Falodun also advised the respondent to intensify efforts in ensuring the bright future of her children.

    He, therefore, ordered the parties to come to court with two witnesses each at the next adjourned date.

    The president adjourned the case till Aug. 31, for continuation.

  • Husband seeks dissolution of 11-year-old marriage

    A 47-year-old businessman, Valentine Emetosin, has sought the dissolution of his 11-year-old marriage to his wife, Clementina, before an Agege Customary Court in Lagos, over lack of care for their children.

    The petitioner, who lives at Oba Falabi Street, Ojodu Berger, a Lagos suburb, said his wife’s attitude changed few months after their wedding.

    “I married her four months after I met her in an eatery during a trip to Onitsha. I would say I never really enjoyed the moments we spent together as a couple,” he said.

    The petitioner also said they treated each other like strangers in the house and that she saw his relations as her enemies.

    He said: “Whenever my wife looks at me, I am always scared because I don’t know what she is ready to say or her intentions. She looks at me with disgust. Few years after our marriage, when I couldn’t tolerate her, I travelled to her home town on several occasions to report to her family.

    “In 2008, she left with our children on the pretext of going to her shop. I searched every nook and cranny but I couldn’t find her even her siblings were not aware of her whereabouts. It was when she couldn’t cater for them anymore, she returned them to me.”

    Emetosin said he took her back to her family seven years ago to nullify the union, saying he was shocked when she showed up four months ago that she had come to stay.

    “I don’t want her anymore. I have another woman and my children attend one of the best schools. She is homeless and has nothing. Please if she wants to see our children, she is free to come to court. I don’t want her close to my house because my current wife is scared,” he said.

    The marriage produced two children between the ages three and 10.

    The court’s President, Pa Adekunle Williams, said since the petitioner presented evidence, the case will continue with or without the respondent. He adjourned the matter till August 24 for judgment.

  • Woman seeks divorce for 18-year-old marriage

    A 39-year-old woman, Bilikisu Adeniran, has prayed the Lagos Island Customary Court in Lagos, to dissolve her 18-year-old marriage to her husband, Musa, for constantly beating her over trivial issues.

    The petitioner said since they have been living as a couple, she never earned her husband’s respect.

    “My husband is very violent and not responsive to our children’s needs. It was when we got married, I learnt his previous wife left him because of his bad character. He returns home late nights and I am tired of complaining. He beats me with koboko whenever he wakes me from sleep,”she said.

    She also said her husband once poured her pot of soup in the toilet because he was against her being a food vendor and that when he eventually got her a job in a filling station, he stopped her from working because they increased the working hours.

    She said: “We fight always. There was even a time he visited a place where they requested for my cloth and my mother’s name in a bid to stop the regular conflict between us. As I speak, I will say things became worse.

    “My husband once got me arrested when we had misunderstanding. It was when the policemen knew I was his wife I was freed. When he tried to lock me up the second time, I left his house.”

    She accused her husband of being fetishistic adding that he has a wardrobe full of charm.

    “I really want an end to this union because I am suffering,” she added.

    Mr Adeniran, 47, in his response said most of the things his wife said were not true, saying he has always been responsible for their children’s school fees.

    The union produced four children between ages six and 17.

    The court’s President, Chief Awos Awosola, because of the respondent’s unruly attitude in court, gave him a three-hour community service and adjourned the matter till today.

  • Waziri Mohammed’s widow savours new marriage

    ZAINAB Waziri-Mohammed, widow of the late former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s confidant, Waziri Mohhamed, has undoubtedly overcome the pain of losing her husband by firmly putting rumour mongers in their place. The whirl of controversy that almost shattered her has finally ceased and she now seems to be living a life she had only imagined in fairy tales.

    Until the plane crash that occurred on October 22, 2005 and claimed the lives of many prominent Nigerians, including Waziri Mohammed, Zainab and her late husband were deeply in love and were happy together.

    After the death of her husband, Zainab sunk into grief and was inconsolable. At the time, many even thought Zainab would not survive another year without her the love of her life. However, she proved them wrong a few months ago when she discarded her mourning toga and got married to Hon. Sabo Mohammed Nakudu, a House of Representatives member from Jigawa State.

    The 65-year old good-looking and handsome Nakudu chaired the House Committee on Customs and Excise then. Zainab and her legislator husband stepped out recently and many could not but comment on how happy they looked in each other’s company.

  • Nigeria rejects gay marriage

    Nigeria rejects gay marriage

    President Muhammadu Buhari has foreclosed a possible shift in Nigeria’s anti-gay stance. He told a joint session of the United States (U.S.) Senate and House Committees on Foreign Affairs that Nigeria’s law  abhors same-sex marriage.

    The President said sodomy is illegal and abhorrent to Nigeria’s culture.

    The President’s Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Mr. Femi Adesina, said his principal was “point blank” in declaring Nigeria’s position on gay marriage and rights.

    In statement, Mr. Adesina explained that the matter was not pushed at the session President Buhari had with President Barack Obama on Monday.

    “The issue of gay marriage came up here yesterday,” Mr. Adesina tweetedWednesday.

    “PMB was point blank. Sodomy is against the law in Nigeria, and abhorrent to our culture. Talks shifted to another matter once PMB emphatically stated Nigeria’s stand on same sex marriage. The issue was not pushed,” Adesina said.

    Besides Nigeria’s criminal laws which outlaw gay acts and union, the country in 2014, approved an anti-gay law with stringent penalties for homosexual relationships.

    Under the law, gay persons risk up to 14 years imprisonment if convicted.

    Also criminalised in Nigeria is the meeting of homosexuals; operating or attending a gay club, society or organisation.

    Anybody engaging in public shows of outlawed same-sex and intimate affection may be jailed for up to 10 years.

    Nigeria has been under intense pressure from the U.S. government which opposes the laws.

  • Courtship before marriage

    DEAR Harriet, I need your advice on courtship before marriage. Please, do you think it is  it necessary?

    Thanks.

    Name withheld, Port-Harcourt.

     

    Thanks for your email. It is very important to note that marriage is a serious affair and must be treated with all seriousness in order to avoid complaints, regrets and so on which can lead to other marital issues, including divorce. Marriage should be based on true love, and not infatuation or pity, and courtship should be considered with a man or woman whom you love enough to marry not just anyone.

    You cannot judge by the number of years or months, but once you have it at the back of your mind that marriage is a learning institute based on relationship, then you place yourself in a better position.

    Courtship is of immense significance for any man or woman, intending to commit themselves to each other in marriage. It is wise to start on a note of prayer. Both of you should commit the issue of marriage to the one who ordains the union and that is God. The period of courtship should be handled with great diligence. It is good to look well before leaping. This is the time to interact with the hope of experiencing deeper understanding of each other. In other words, there must be effective communication.

    Note that the period of courtship also provides a ground for openness, leading to authentic knowledge of each other based on love, trust and faith. The time spent together should be an opportunity for growth and positive enrichment. As a result , such encounter, if utilized properly should help the intending couple to know each other strength and weaknesses.

    Moreover, get to know each other’s family. As much as possible, spend time with each other’s families. Visit them because it is very important so that if you do end up in marriage, you will have a better understanding of them in order to get along freely. They will not see you as a stranger, but as part of their family. Family, in this part of the world as we know, is an invaluable resource which forms an integral part of who we are. Getting close to his or her family will give you an insight into his relationship with his family members and the kind of family. Love, they say, can be blind at times, but family and friends can really help to correct our vision.

    Courtship can be regarded as a time of discovery. The step you are about to take is not a boyfriend or girlfriend issue. It is a lifetime commitment like I  said at the beginning. So, as you are busy taking the above into consideration, don’t forget to also study yourself to know your likes and dislikes, your temperament and mode of life because this process will surely enhance your personal understanding of who you are and how you can work towards improving yourself to be right for your Mr. Right. Most times, we want our partner to be the right person, forgetting that we also have to be right as well.

    Your parents or guardians are important, so you should carry them along on the issue of marriage. Some cases we know can be difficult, but try to communicate with your parents for them to understand your dreams and aspirations. If you have to give them time to see reason with your choice, do so with an open mind. Don’t assume that they are irrelevant.

    Remember they raised you and they will always want the best for you in most cases. In addition, to a large extent, they have been instrumental in your well- being. You may not agree on every issue, but endeavour to respect and honour them in passing across your point.

    Another area to make open during courtship is the aspect of finance. It has to be said here that financial consideration should not be a priority in the process of preparing for marriage. Nevertheless, we must not underestimate its importance. True love and not wealth should be the motivating factor. This is because there are many rich homes where there is no love and happiness. Even in the midst of wealth, some marriages have broken down. Partners should, however, take steps to be self-reliant, particularly in the financial aspect. This requires openness that will enable partners to truly know the financial strength of each other, bearing in mind that marriage will bring additional financial demands. The leadership role of a man, for example, in a home naturally imposes upon him more financial responsibilities. It is, therefore, incumbent on him to find out, if he has the financial power to meet in the immediate and future the demands of his wife to-be.

    Together they should find out what each person is bringing to the table now or in the future. This is very important because it is risky to marry a person that has no source of income, except there is a concrete arrangement or evidence that something will come up in the future. Care must be taken not to allow money destroy the values of love, peace, happiness and unity in the home. Dialogue and cooperation on money matters were vital during courtship because it helps the man and the woman to build a solid foundation on how to manage their resources when they get married.

    It also helps them to manage their emotions when it comes to money.  Intimacy in courtship is not to be neglected, both emotional and physical. It is advisable to be able to set boundaries for proper reasoning. Decide what your limitations are. After all, if everything works out, you will spend the rest of your life with him or her. The excitement is one great moment that couples look forward to.

     

    Harriet ogbobine is a counselor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08023058805. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • Actor’s wife seeks marriage dissolution

    Actor’s wife seeks marriage dissolution

    A Middle age woman, Emma Ike, urged the Lagos Island Customary Court to dissolve her 12-year-old marriage, accusing her actor-husband of battering her.

    Mrs Ike said her husband beats her over trivial issues, adding: “It was when my husband beat me mercilessly I believed that people truly saw stars whenever they were unconscious. It was my brother who took me to the hospital where I spent two months. There was also a day I was feeding our last child with tea, my husband, out of anger took the tea and poured it on my head.”

    She said the harsh reality of life began to dawn on her after her husband deprived her of being in charge of his school.

    “I even persuaded his sister to bring four of her children to our school without paying a dime but instead of showing appreciation, she said I was a lavish spender and that was how I stopped being in charge of the school,” she said.

    The petitioner said the school was shut when her husband couldn’t manage it properly.

    “Each time we fight, he calls me a witch saying whenever he intends to start a project and he informs me it eventually fails. He also said if he hadn’t married me, I would have become a prostitute,” Mrs Ike said.

    She said she left his house two years ago with two of her children when she could no longer bear his violent act anymore, adding that she be granted access to their first two children.

    “Since I left, he doesn’t allow me to speak with our first two children asking me to come home if I really want to see them. Even when I was in with him, he leaves home for months on the pretext of different appointments. I can’t face all this anymore. I need help,”

    The union produced four children between ages 4 and 13.

    The court’s President, Chief Awos Awosola, ordered the respondent to appear in court and adjourned the matter till July 22.