The Nation Newspaper

Tag: marriage

  • Ibrahim Chatta’s marriage crumbles

    One of the cardinal roles of actors and actresses is to mirror the ills in a society with a view to providing solutions. In the Yoruba genre of Nollywood, Ibrahim Abiodun Chatta is not just any name. He is an actor with a huge fan base that cuts across age and sex. But the news about him at the moment is that his marriage to Salamat Muhammed Lafiaji, daughter of former Kwara State Governor, Alhaji Muhammed Lafiaji, has been dissolved by an Ilorin Upper Area Court over allegations of battering and lack of care.

    Realising that the marriage had lost all the flavour of love and romance, the presiding judge, Hon. R.O. Bakare, said it was very clear to the court that there was no longer love between the couple and that both of them had lost interest in continuing with the union. The court consequently issued a certificate of divorce to Salamat.

    Pretty Salamat had approached the court for the dissolution of her marriage to Chatta, claiming lack of care, abandonment and bad attitude towards the matrimonial home as reasons for the divorce suit. Salamat narrated, during hearing, how Chatta turned her into a punching bag. The union, which did not produce a child, was cemented only in April last year.

  • Husband seeks end to 23-year-old marriage

    AN Ado-Ekiti resident, Mr. Sola Olanipekun (41), has urged a customary court in the Ekiti State capital to end the marriage of 23 years with his wife, Anike.

    Olanipekun, a carpenter living at Adeun in the state capital, said he had been separated from his wife for about two years and was not ready to resettle with her. He noted that they were not properly married, but came together on what he called “free association.”

    The husband said: “The association has produced one male and two female children, with the eldest child being 23 and the last being 10.”

    Olanipekun accused his wife of “unruly attitude, desertion, deceit, adultery and incessant fighting.”

    He added that he caught his wife having amorous discussions on phone with one of his men friends.

    His wife, he said, cared little for the children, but “preferred to send money to her concubines.”

    Olanipekun told the court that his wife had once ordered her siblings to beat him up.

    The husband explained that he had endured the marriage for so long based on the advice of some elderly relations.

    He pleaded for the custody of their three children, namely Oladele (Male, 23), Olanrewaju (female, 16) and Olamide (female, 10).

    He said he had the means to care for the children sufficiently and would not remarry to any other woman.

    Anike, in her written response to the petitioners’ claims, said her husband lied regarding his claims about their marriage.

    She said the husband was seeking the dissolution “to solely own the house” currently being occupied by him, “but which they both contributed money to build.”

    She explained that her husband had locked her outside their house on minor disagreements on several occasions.

    Anike added that the husband had not been caring for the children or paying their school fees, urging the court to dismiss her husband’s petition.

    She urged the court to dissolve the marriage since it “had already broken down irretrievably.”

    She said the house being occupied by the petitioner should be sold by the court’s Sheriff and proceeds be shared equally between the two.

    The wife asked the court to grant her custody of the last child.

    The court’s president, Ogunseemi J.A., a lawyer, adjourned further hearing till September 9, ordering both the petitioner and the respondent to bring their witnesses.

  • Senator Seye Ogunlewe gives out daughter in marriage

    Senator Seye Ogunlewe gives out daughter in marriage

    It was a day of joy for Adeola Ogunlewe, the daughter of former Minister of Works, Senator Adeseye Ogunlewe, as she exchanged marital vows with her heartthrob, Moses Edewor.  The event was held at Anchor Event Centre, Agidingbi, Lagos. Olusegun Rapheal was there.

  • ‘How to enjoy lasting marriage’

    Christian youths have been advised to prepare well and equip themselves with virtues prior to marriage.

    This was the consensus at the inaugural edition of a bi-monthly marriage seminar organised by the Celestial Church of Christ (CCC) AKAA/KOSOFE Province Lagos.

    Speakers attributed the myriad of problems prevalent in the society to wrong ideas and poor marital preparations.

    One of the speakers, Mother-In-Celestial Owoade, tasked the youths of Celestial Church to lay a good foundation for their marriages by understanding and obeying God’s word.

    She encouraged them to shun pre-marital sex, saying it ultimately affects the future of their marriages.

    Owoade, from Ore-Ofe Parish Isolo, urged them to discover themselves first before going into marriage.

    To Superior Evangelist Oyegbesan: “Marriage is a closed door with one entrance but no exit. It isn’t a thing that lasts for six months but forever.”

    The seminar ended with healing prayers for strained marriages.

  • ‘How to enjoy lasting marriage’

    Christian youths have been advised to prepare well and equip themselves with virtues prior to marriage.

    This was the consensus at the inaugural edition of a bi-monthly marriage seminar organised by the Celestial Church of Christ (CCC) AKAA/KOSOFE Province Lagos.

    Speakers attributed the myriad of problems prevalent in the society to wrong ideas and poor marital preparations.

    One of the speakers, Mother-In-Celestial Owoade, tasked the youths of Celestial Church to lay a good foundation for their marriages by understanding and obeying God’s word.

    She encouraged them to shun pre-marital sex, saying it ultimately affects the future of their marriages.

    Owoade, from Ore-Ofe Parish Isolo, urged them to discover themselves first before going into marriage.

    To Superior Evangelist Oyegbesan: “Marriage is a closed door with one entrance but no exit. It isn’t a thing that lasts for six months but forever.”

    The seminar ended with healing prayers for strained marriages.

  • Career before marriage,students advised

    A gender advocate, Mrs Kunbi Wuralola, has urged girls to desist from thinking that marriage is the freedom from their financial difficulties.

    She made the call at this year’s Enactus Women Empowerment Conference which held in Lagos. The event drew participants from 25 tertiary institutions nationwide. Its   theme was: “See possibilities, take actions and enable progress”.

    She encouraged young women to pursue good career opportunities and advancement, as success from such undertaking, she believes, will attract good suitors. Besides, an outstanding career would also help women become better entrepreneurs and industrialists, transforming them from being liabilities to becoming assets to their generations, family, community and the society at large.

    She however advised the students to learn different things as everything they picked up while growing will be useful one way or the other in the future.

    “Marriage should not be the first priority a female child will think of accomplishing immediately after school  rather carving a niche for herself in her career will attract the right suitor to her” Wuraola said.

    Mrs Wuraola praised her contemporaries whom, despite natural challenges they face especially domestic chores, still try to make a difference.

    “Women have an unfair race, we have to deal with different challenges amongst which are family, career, how we combine them without making one of them lack attention, and yet we still want to come out successful and be am blessing to our generation” Wuraola said.

    An accountant and faculty advisor of Kwara State Polytechnic Mrs Omolara Ojulari, also advised the pupils neither to settle for less nor sets limits for their achievements.

    “At the present age that you all are in, you cannot change but you can manage who you are. You must not limit your achievements. Be the trailblazer, be the opportunity, work towards it and success will be guaranteed,” Ojulari said.

    She added that the challenge of leadership is the perception of weakness among the female folk, which to her is not true because the feminine race is so strong and capable of delivering which is the reason why they should not limit their achievements as a result of gender reasons.

    “Females are built so strong yet we think we are weak; we have to find that inbuilt energy. Stop pushing women backward, we can do more” Ojulari added.

    Mrs Benadine Okeke, an empowerment advisor, said there are opportunities in every adversary, which is the reason feminine race have to stand up and create opportunities for others despite that this is a trying times for Nigeria.

    Sharing her experience, a participant Akuma Ezinne, an Accounting undergraduate of Babcock University Ilishan Remo, Ogun State, said she has learnt that her success is not based on the to push further to achieve greatness irrespective of her  background.

    Emmanuela Peter, an Accounting undergraduate of Kaduna State Polytechnic, said the conference has taught her that women should not limit themselves to what they can do because they are great leaders who are capable of doing great things, all they have to do is to find that inbuilt energy in them.

    Mary Faromika , a Biology student of Federal University of Technology, Akure said she had been enlightened to pursue her career and strive to be a better person instead of thinking that her degree ends on the kitchen and cannot be practised.

    Some of the participating schools include: Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria, University of Lagos, Lagos, Kogi State University, Federal Polytechnic Offa, Kaduna Polytechnic, Kaduna, Rufus Giwa Polytechnic Owo, and Tai Solarin University of Education, Ogun State.

  • Joselyn Dumas fumes over marriage proposals

    Joselyn Dumas fumes over marriage proposals

    Ghanaian actress, Joselyn Dumas, has said that she is engaged and does not intend to accept any more marriage proposals from her numerous suitors. Adjudged the hottest Ghanaian celebrity in 2012 by 4syte TV, the 33-year-old said she had had enough of reports that she is single and searching for a man to marry.

    Following what she described as “unnecessary harassment”, she took to the social networking site, Facebook, last Friday, to declare that she is “simply” not available.

    “Hi folks, I am not single and searching; so, please, kindly ignore those publications on social media. Those are not exactly my words.

    “For those who have been sending me tons and tons of marriage proposals….sorry, guys, I’m simply not available. Thanks for your understanding. God bless you,” the curvy actress said.

    Earlier in the year, the actress was enmeshed in a controversy when she was nominated as Best Supporting Actress at the Ghana Movie Awards for her role in a movie titled A Northern Affair. Pitched alongside others like Lydia Forson, Lisa Nana Yaa Awuku, Rose Mensah (Kyeiwaa) and Roselyn Ngissah, many, including the director of A Northern Affair, Leila Djansi, felt she should not have been nominated for the award.

    A night before Joselyn Dumas won the award, Djansi took to the social media to express her displeasure over the award categories: “Ghana Movie Awards, what on earth? How can Joselyn Dumas be nominated in supporting actress, when the entire story of A Northern Affair was told from her point of view? If we are going to do something, let us do it right.  We can’t continue like this. Get it together and get it right. GMA is a laudable enterprise, but it needs to grow in the right direction,” she posted.

  • Marriage in Islam

    Marriage in Islam

    In Islam, marriage is considered both a social agreement and a legal contract. In modern times, the marriage contract is signed in the presence of an Islamic judge, imam, or trusted community elder who is familiar with Islamic law. The process of signing the contract is usually a private affair, involving only the immediate families of the bride and groom.

    Negotiating and signing the contract is a requirement of marriage under Islamic law, and certain conditions must be upheld in order for it to be binding and recognised. These include the following:

    •Consent  Both the groom and the bride must consent to the marriage, verbally and in writing. This is done through a formal proposal of marriage (ijab) and acceptance of the proposal (qabul). A first-time bride is usually represented in the contract negotiations by her Wali, a male guardian who looks out for her best interests. Even so, the bride must also express her willingness to enter into marriage. Consent cannot be obtained from those who are legally unable to give it, i.e. people who are incapacitated, minor children, and those who have physical or mental impairments which limit their capacity to understand and consent to a legal contract.

    •Mahr  This word is often translated as “dowry” but is better expressed as “bridal gift.” The bride has a right to receive a gift from the groom which remains her own property as security in the marriage. The gift is payable directly to the bride and remains her sole property, even in case of later divorce. The mahr can be cash, jewellery, property, or any other valuable asset. Either full payment or an agreed-upon payment schedule is required at the time of contract signature. The mahr may also be deferred until termination of the marriage through death or divorce; in such an instance the unpaid mahr becomes a debt against the husband’s estate.

    •Witnesses  Two adult witnesses are required to verify the marriage contract.

    •Prenuptial contract conditions  Either the bride or the groom may submit contract conditions which, if agreed upon, become legally-binding conditions of marriage. Often such conditions include agreements about the country of the couple’s residence, the wife’s ability to continue her education or career life, or visitation with in-laws. Any condition that is allowable in Islamic law is allowed to be entered, as long as both parties agree.

    After the contract is signed, a couple is legally married and enjoy all the rights and responsibilities of marriage. In many cultures, however, the couple do not formally share a household until after the public wedding celebration (walimah). Depending on the culture, this celebration may be held hours, days, weeks, or even months later.

  • Hijab: Marriage of faith and fashion

    Hijab: Marriage of faith and fashion

    In Islam, the word ‘Hijab’ literally means a screen or curtain. However, by semantic extension, Hijab suggests a veil for covering the head and chest, particularly by Muslim females who have attained puberty. It is also a symbol of modesty, privacy and morality. Historically, women in the Islamic culture wore veils to cover themselves.

    Interestingly, in modern times, learning about the different kinds of Hijab can help a Muslim woman enjoy a fulfilling shopping experience. It affords the user the opportunity to adhere to her cultural standards, while expressing her individuality through her choice of colour, style and fabric.

    Just as there are different types of Hijab, there are many options for purchasing these garments. For instance, there are retail Islamic stores that specifically deal in these items. An example is Arabel, an upscale Islamic store, where items, ranging from the simple to the avant-garde, are sold. It also offers online trading to show buyers an opportunity to learn how to differentiate between the styles of Hijab as well as where to purchase specific garments that are worn comfortably and securely.

    However, while some prefer to visit some of these ‘elitist’ Islamic stores, others prefer to patronise individuals in some markets across the country with the belief that they can enjoy the luxury of haggling over the prices.

    Hijab usually comes in different shapes and sizes. They can sometimes be small or large, but it solely depends on the taste of the buyer. It may also be square, triangular and rectangular, depending on how it is used.

    Hijab comes in silk, chiffon, cotton, polyester and rayon or a combination of fabrics and sells for between N500 and N15, 000 per one. At times, it comes in patterned or flowery designs. Buyers may also consider wearing under- scarves, which are accessories worn to keep a woman’s hair from slipping out of the Hijab.

    Over the years, Hijab has changed in appearance and is now available in different varieties. People have come to like Jacquard veils, which come in various designs and colour because they suit different occasions and fit their personalities.

  • Take heed of marriage destroyers (4)

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to this week’s teaching. In the previous editions, I have taught on wrong companion, slothfulness, anger, bitterness and covetousness, as some of those things that destroy marriages and families.  Consciously staying away from those things will bring about a quick turnaround in your life, marriage and family.

    Today, I will be teaching on IMPATIENCE as yet another thing that can destroy marriage and families.

    Patience is the opposite of impatience and impatience is simply the inability to deal calmly with a situation or wait for something.  It can also mean a state of being in an unusual haste. Many families have been ruined because of impatience in an individual or family member involved. The Word of God says: … He that believeth shall not make haste (Isaiah 28:16). Haste makes waste. One example of impatience is Abraham in Genesis 16:1-6. Abraham, the father of faith, came to a point in his life where he    experienced impatience. God had appeared to him several times, assuring him that he would have a son by his darling wife, Sarah. Having waited for what appeared to be too long a time, he readily gave in to Sarah’s suggestion to go into her maid and raise an heir through her. One would have thought that as great as Abraham was, he would be immune to impatience but it was so natural for him to give in to it. He must have been tired out from waiting long before Sarah made that suggestion; such that, the moment an opening came he quickly grabbed it. The consequence of Abraham’s action was that the child born by him out of impatience became an enemy of the child of faith: Ishmael and Isaac could not live together.

    Many have killed the joy of their would-be miracle because of their impatience with the Word of God.  The Word of God says: For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise (Hebrews 10:36). As a husband, you need to be patience with your wife.  As a wife, you need to be patience with your husband. You may not be getting what you really want from your spouse right now, but you need patience to tolerate him or her.

    If you have an unbeliever as a spouse, all you need do is to be patient with him or her. Patience can turn your unbelieving spouse to a man or woman after God’s own heart. Remember, God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts than ours. Even when He appears to be delaying, you must never lose hope, because He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3: 11; 2 Peter 3:9). Don’t let the enemy cheat you out of your blessings. God is never slow or late; He is always on time with whatever He promises an individual. God’s time is the right time!

    The cure for impatience is simple patience backed by faith in the Word of God. The Word of God says in James 1:4: … But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. Perfection will only come, when your patience is in place. Your patience must be backed by a strong faith in God and His Word.  If you are experiencing turbulence in your home, for instance, you must discover what God’s Word says is the solution, and then step out in obedience. It may not look like the solution, but God is a marriage expert; He instituted the union and knows how best to make it work.

    When you fill your home with what the Word of God says concerning the home, it will not run short of miracles. To keep enjoying God’s blessings for your family, you must keep doing whatever He tells you to do. Not just doing it, but doing it right and going to the extremes in your obedience. God has not changed, and He will not compromise His standard.

    You need to give God’s Word a chance in your marriage and family. When His Word is not given its priority place in your marriage and family, there are bound to be problems.  Satan is rendered powerless when a couple stands firmly on the Word of God and operates by its principles.  So, hold on to God and His Word patiently. Many give up when they are just a minute to their breakthrough  Don’t give up!  Trust God completely.

    God’s Word in Hebrews 10:36 says: For ye have need of patience, that after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. Patience is a must! Instead of looking at the problem, challenge or situation, look into God’s Word, confess it to yourself and remind Him in prayers of His promises.  If, for instance, you are looking for a baby, instead of mourning over doctor’s reports and getting unhappy about every monthly menstrual circle that comes, you can hold on to God’s Word; it never fails. To overcome the darkness of barrenness, go for the light in God’s Word and keep declaring it until that barren situation changes. Light will always shine in darkness and darkness can never comprehend light (John 1:5).

    A woman gave this testimony and in her own words, she said: “I have been married for seven years.  Shortly after my wedding, my period seized.  I thought I was pregnant, so I kept expecting my baby.  But it turned out to be a false alarm.  From the results of an ultrasound scan that I did, the doctor said I my uterus was too small to accommodate a baby. I laughed it off, reasoning that if God has given those without wombs, children, how much more I, who even has one. There is hope for me.  During one of the conventions, Pastor (Mrs.) Faith Oyedepo made mention of my case. I immediately, I got up and started declaring my restoration.

    After the prayers, my period was restored and a month later, I became pregnant! My baby was born and his name is David! All glory to God.” I declare by the power backing the Word of God that I bring to you right now, that situation of barrenness is consumed and you are liberated in Jesus’ name! Your testimony shall be the next in Jesus’ name! You are free!

    However, true liberty from all those things that destroy marriage and family is established when you accept Jesus Christ into your life. If you would like to accept Jesus Christ into your life, please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!

    Congratulations! You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: counselling@faithoyedepo.org; Tel.  No: 07026385437; 08141320204

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.