The Nation Newspaper

Tag: marriage

  • Wife seeks dissolution of marriage

    A 35-year-old housewife, Rasheedat Zubairu, has prayed an Ilorin Area Court, Kwara State to dissolve her 17-year-old marriage to Kehinde Zubairu, over barrenness.

    She said the union did not produce any child, adding that efforts to conceive proved abortive.

    “I want this marriage to be dissolved. I am fed up. There is no love between us again.

    “I have advised my husband to marry another woman, but he refused. He believes I can still conceive; he has been faithful to me.

    “My husband’s twin sister has been giving me problems. I cannot bear it again,’’ the petitioner said.

    The judge, Abdulkadir Ibrahim, advised her to allow peace reign.

    He directed the bailiff to serve the respondent again with summons, “since he has refused to appear in court” and adjourned the case till today for hearing.

  • Confession of A Frustrated Lagos Based Housewife – “I Did This Since He Could Not Sexually Satisfy Me”

    Confession of A Frustrated Lagos Based Housewife – “I Did This Since He Could Not Sexually Satisfy Me”

    My name is Chioma, a Lagos housewife who has been through a lot. I have been married for 7 years and nursing a pain which has made my marriage turned sour.

    I and my husband had it going good but it was worse after we welcomed our first child.

    Dave, as he was called by me, lost his job then and would not want me to work. He always says his obligation is to meet the needs of his family. I was a full-time housewife and gave our only child all the attention and affection needed.

    The quest for a job took its toll on my husband; he will set out early in the morning but to return late at night. We weren’t rich but we were living on the saved funds after the loss of his job. This had a negative effect because we ate deep into it.

    A year gone by with no job yet, Dave began his sojourn into a business of his. The funds left was utilized, he gave all to make it work.

    Dave was determined and enthusiastic about the business but the home-front suffered for it. Gradually, he wasn’t that concerned about me but his new found love “his business”. He had little or no time for our baby too.

    Our sex life was almost heading for the rocks and I was not pleased when he is done with his action on the bed. His performance was below par; he hardly do it up to 3 minutes. Something he has been doing for up to 25 minutes non-stop before.

    He always cited excuses for his below par performance, from tiredness, stress and lots more. I wept bitterly because I had been sex starved. Dave, whenever he sets for the race couldn’t but spill even before three minutes – no woman will smile for this type of action. So we had a talk about this and he tried several means but all to no avail…no solution at sight.

    Months rolled by, with years counting…his condition was still worrisome because it keeps getting worst – this time around not even up to 2 minutes. I had no choice but to accept my fate.

    However, Dave was making headway in his business and I wasn’t a priority to him anymore. Staring at my photo album, I was with smiles but deep within was tormented.

    In my quest for a solution to Dave’s predicament, I had to visit a childhood friend known as Ireti at her home. I could confide in her, she did got married few years before ours. She and her husband were having lunch when I arrived. After the meal, we had a ladies talk in which I shared the issue being faced in my home.

    She revealed a secret to me which left me speechless. I appreciated her kind gesture and quickly rushed home.  Read Testimonials From Other Men

    Days later, on an evening I decided to share the secret with Dave with detailed explanation. He held me close and was full of joy. He applied the secret that evening. The same night, we made love and his performance did improve because I enjoyed it… https://goo.gl/vqigdR  

    Wow!!! On the fourth day of utilizing the secret, we had several sex routines – 3 rounds to be specific and I was okay with that. Come and see smile all over my face after we are done. That is how a woman should feel after every action with her man.

    I was short of words, feels like he had a magic touch because his performance was commendable. With different sex styles utilized, he was the grand commander and was in control. Go to https://goo.gl/vqigdR and see how you too can be the man she really wants and last up to 35 minutes in bed just as I’m enjoying now.

    Our sex life has been re-positioned and I had a relief. Our marriage has indeed turned a new phase and I believe with this my confession, I can turn up other people’s marriages too.

    Will you like to discover Dave’s Secret of Long Lasting Performances? This has saved my marriage. Read details here:  https://goo.gl/vqigdR  

    You need to hear from this expert himself whom I found that has the same secret on how he got cured finally without any side effect, plus his own special story on how he became an expert in this field https://goo.gl/vqigdR

  • Building congenial parent-child relationship

    Building congenial parent-child relationship

    At the heart of many sad and pitiable stories around the globe is a poor parent-child relationship.

    Fruit bearing is the hallmark of every legitimate union between husband and wife. Marriage wouldn’t be as blissful or interesting as it should when one of the most interesting condiments of the union is missing – children.

    Children are the fruits and blessings of any marriage. The moment a woman puts to bed, the news of her birth literally sets everyone into a celebration mode.

    As a child grows and goes through the biological stages of development from childhood into adulthood, they begin to display irrational juvenile tendencies.

    From time immemorial, mothers have been the closest to their children, right from when the child is in the womb, take their first step until they become able to delineate between right and wrong; to make their own choices.

    Unfortunately, in most cases, that close relationship between the mother and child begins to fade away the moment the child becomes self-aware, and can recognize good from bad, left from right.

    No matter how grown a child is, or mature they (children) think they are, parents should for no reason leave them to their whims and caprices.

    Even parents whose parents are still alive from time to time get cautioned and advice from their parents.

    How did a once congenial and cordial parent-children relationship get disrupted? Questions to children – How well do you know your children?

    Do you know what your children are going through emotionally? Or what exactly they are thinking of? Who’s oppressing or interesting them? Do you have ideas of whom they move with or call their friends?

    Please, I ask again, what kind of relationship do you have with your sons and daughter?

    Dear parents! Try building a close relationship with your children so much so that they feel free to tell you anything and everything bothering them.

    Ordinarily, parent should be the closest and easiest persons to communicate with but many parents pay little or no attention to their children not to talk of having productive conversations with them.

    The paucity in the relationship between parents and their children is the primary cause of the overexposure of these wards to wrong and harmful information and advice from irresponsible people and peers.

    In this side of the globe, especially in our culture, a good child is for the father and the bad for the mother; and of course no mother wants to be accused of not training her child well.

    Therefore, mothers, make every little moment you get with your child count – for every change in their facial expressions, behaviours, attitudes and even choice of diet means your attention is needed; they sometimes would not come straight to tell you, but need you to ask them.

    Parents, regardless of the urge to sometimes be judgmental of your wards in the bid to correct and advise them, try to resist this urge because it will only drive a wedge and increase the lacunae between you and your wards.

    Mind you parent, don’t judge them nor use what they’ve told you against them because if you do, they won’t speak nor tell you anything that’s bothering them again.

    If you don’t have a close relationship with your child, try as much as possible to create one.

    Make them feel they can always run back to you when the need arises. Go as far as hanging out with them; you can gist, watch movies, eat and drink and do fun things to further build and develop your relationship.

    Once you are able to build this relationship with them, some silly and preventable juvenile mistakes can be reasonably avoided.

    Make them your best friend and pay more attention to them than you would with your friends.

    I can almost hear our adorable children singing – parents listen to your children, for we are the leaders of tomorrow…

    Start by investing in their future, and always remember to create time for them.

  • Court dissolves 12-year-old marriage over lack of care

    Court dissolves 12-year-old marriage over lack of care

    An Ado-Ekiti Customary Court on Wednesday dissolved the 12-year-old marriage between Lekan Ajayi and his wife, Busayo, over lack of care, frequent fighting and desertion of matrimonial home for five years.

    In his judgment, President of the court, Mr Joseph Ogunsemi, said that the marriage had broken down irretrievably.

    “Both parties should go their separate ways and maintain the peace,’’ he said.

    Ogunsemi awarded custody of the first child to the petitioner (Lekan), while the second child was awarded to the respondent (Busayo).

    He ordered that the petitioner should pay N5, 000 monthly to the respondent for the upkeep of his child.

    Read  also: My husband stabs me with broken bottles, wife tells court

    “The money should be paid to the registry of the court for onward delivery to the respondent,’’ he said.

    He granted unrestricted access to the children for both parties.

    Earlier, the petitioner, Lekan, 39, an automobile mechanic, told the court that his union with the respondent started in 2005 and she deserted him in 2012.

    He said that he has been the only one responsible for the education of his children since the respondent left him.

    Lekan said he was tired of the respondent unruly behaviour and her refusal to take correction.

    “She decided to pack out when she felt she could not abide with my instructions as the husband and father in the house,’’ he said.

    He appealed to the court to award the custody of the two children to him in order to enable him take good care of them.

    The petitioner urged the court ‎to dissolve the union for peace to reign in his life.

    The respondent, Busayo, 40‎, a cardigan weaver, denied the allegations made by her husband.

    She said it was the petitioner’s family that was partly responsible for their matrimonial crisis.

    Busayo said the petitioner’s life style also contributed to their problems, stressing that her husband was a drunkard.

    She urged the court to award the custody of her two children to her and demanded N15, 000 as monthly feeding allowances for the children.

    NAN

  • Curtailing prevalence of Girl Child marriage in Nigeria

    Curtailing prevalence of Girl Child marriage in Nigeria

    For Nigeria’s girl bride, certain institutional, religious and cultural nuances have continued to stagnate her mental and physical growth. Life for her, is convulsively appalling; besides the trauma of stigmatization, neglect and abuse, it steals her future, violates her right with increased reproductive health risk.

     

    This heart-wrenching experience is nothing compared to the psychological trauma of ostracism and betrayal she suffers by her parents, other family members and the society where she lives in.

     

     

    Prevalence of girl child marriage, have remained an issue of great concern in Nigeria as in many parts of Africa and the world. There are still insufficient data to truly measure the extent of damage this socio-cultural malaise may have done to the psyche of Nigeria girl brides.
    Girl child marriage, according to GirlsNotBrides,  has reached an all time high. Nigeria ranks 13th among the 20 countries with the highest rate of child marriages; 16 of them are African nations.

     

    Child marriage still occurs in rural communities of Nigeria, especially in the northern region. Nigeria, a country of 180 million people in population, is made up of three major ethnic groups; the Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba.

     

    Mrs. Bose Ironsi, a sexual and reproductive right advocate, retired nurse mid-wife and social worker, also a trained psychologist, founder of Women’s Health And Rights Project( WRAHP ), an agency that deals with issues related to men and women’s health and rights, said “Child marriage is big of a problem in Nigeria.” She said “there is massive number of young girls being married off as bride”.

     

    “It’s not what the child wants” she says bluntly.

     

    Girls with no education tend to marry at an average of about 15 years, and end up confined to carrying out domestic chores and at risk of life threatening diseases. While age of marriage increase to 18 for girls with primary education. Average age of marriage for women with secondary education rises to about 21.

     

    About huge number of empirical evidence which according to Mrs. Ironsi, shows that when girls and women become part of the economic drivers in any country, and can influence political decisions, the country’s development is certain. Along with the many humane and human components, including the moral aspect of it.

     

    Despite the child right act which frowns at girl child marriage with formulations and implementations of gender sensitivity, equality and child development. Nigeria, Africa’s biggest nation, is yet to recover from the menace of girl child bride.girls

    Sexual and reproductive right advocate, Ironsi Bose, painted a more disturbing picture of the situation when in her speech, said “many people are unaware of the gravity of the problem.” She said “countless women and girls still experience a blatant lack of rights, representation and resources.”

     

    “They end up confined to carrying out domestic chores and at risk of life threatening diseases and psychological trauma,” she says.

     

    Statistics on a local level, has shown that an average of 11.6 percent of adolescent girls aged 15-19 are married in the country. Twenty three percent are already mothers or pregnant with their first child while 47.6 percent of these girls have no primary education.

     

    Nigeria’s Minister of Women Affairs and Development, Sen. Aisha Alhassan, has said “child marriage is extremely prevalent in the Northeast and Northwest geo-political zones of Nigeria.”

     

    Women’s Health And Rights Project may be absolutely correct about the sufferings of these girls, pegging parental negligence as the overriding cause.

     

    Ironsi blame parents for giving out their young girls in marriage, and not discussing issues about sexuality with them, as they needed to live up to expectation, establish a cordial relationship with them and teach them how to understand danger when it’s coming.

     

    The sexual reproductive and right activist said Education shouldn’t be based on how to read and write or how to become a successful entrepreneurs alone, “they should be taught self development, leadership, family life, life skills,” “they need to understand what is sex, courtship, and implication of early sex.”  

     

    Psychological Dangers

    However, marriage for a teenage girl whose stage in adolescence has not been completed, can lead to psychological deterioration, because her side level of maturity is not sufficient enough to help her cope with responsibilities that comes within the marriage.

     

    DR Ralph Emeka Ogbolu, clinical psychiatrist and coordinator of the suicide research and prevention initiative at Lagos University Teaching Hospital ( LUTH ), Lagos Nigeria, said “as human beings in normal psychological development, we move from one stage to another, previous learning experience help us develop on more learning experience as we grow older, the same thing with the development of the mind.”

     

    “A child who cannot seat will now begin to run, everything follows a stage, the same thing with the development of the mind at that stage, the child’s mental development would have reached the stage where she can cope with marital conflicts, pressures and responsibilities”. He added.

     

    Traumatic experience

    Traumatic experience of early married on a girl bride, leaves her with deep wounds beyond the psychological trauma, the child would have to face the problem of child bearing.

     

    A recent survey has shown that early marriage makes girl brides stand risk of developing mental disorder, anxiety depression, drug addiction and a whole lot of psychologically related problems. Dr Ralph believes that early marriage should not be managed but totally discouraged because of its traumatic impact on the girl child.

     

    Psychological Complications And Therapy

    Psychological complication from early marriage can be so devastating on the girl child, when she develops psychological complications she would beging to decompensate, and would no longer be able to function in performing her role as a wife.

     

    The clinical psychologist said anxiety and depression are mood disorder which have to do with victim feeling unhappy and finds nothing to be happy about, because some certain hormones in the body have changed, due to a reduced level of the chemicals in the brain. And would obviously show that something significant has happened in that life before the brain begins to react to this chemical leading to anxiety or depression.

     

    Girl child marriage is no doubt, fuelled by poverty, ignorance, insecurity, poor educational attainment, strong religious traditions and the prevailing culture of male dominance in the affairs of society.

     

    Tackling the menace

    Nigeria’s acting President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo, in 2016, launched a campaign against child marriage–a programme that has immense sensitization, to curtail the spread of child marriage within the African nation.

     

    In 2003, Nigeria passed a Child Rights Act, which sets the age of marriage at 18 years-old. However, only 23 of Nigeria’s 36 states have taken concrete steps to implement the minimum age of marriage.

    Vice President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo and Minister of women affairs during a Campaign to end Child Marriage in Nigeria.
    girls

     

    Although, Nigeria’s 1999 constitution does not establish a minimum age for marriage. But contains a bill of rights that protects the right to freedom of association, privacy and religion among others, including freedom from discrimination based on sex. Nigeria became the 16th country to join the African Union Campaign to end child marriage, the policy demands that a girl child reaches the age of 18 years before she could be married.

     

    Eradicating child marriage, Barrister Paul Mashote, a human rights lawyer, said “there are many steps Nigeria’s federal government can take, with policy formulations and implementations”.

     

    Barrister Mashote highlighted antidotes to ending girl child marriage as; early education, religious sensitization and promoting awareness via social cultural methodology.

     

    Mr. Paul painted a disturbing picture about enforcement of relevant laws prohibiting early marriage, “it’s one thing to have laws, it’s another thing for you to have enforcement of such laws,” he said “when you have laws without enforcement, such laws are like toothless dogs”.

     

    In northern Nigeria, parents have complained that the quality of education is so poor that schooling cannot be considered a viable alternative to marriage for their daughters. The human rights lawyer, suggested that the Nigerian government should create an enabling environment with a system that promote free education, if it’s any serious in ending child marriage, “knowledge they say is power, the federal government to stop some vices, you don’t throw money out to the people, the best thing to do is to create measures whereby such act would be avoided”, he said.

     

    “There is need for us to educate our girls and parents, it is the duty of the government to provide free education for the citizenry, but if they are not going to do that, then we should have None Governmental Organizations( NGOs ) that would sponsor it.” He added.

     

    With the strong grip of sociocultural practices promoting girl child marriage in Nigeria, more action is needed to prevent thousands of girls from being married off in the coming years. Implementation of laws and policies that frowns at it and at the same time protects the rights of the child as well as protecting them from violence and abuse is of great importance.

     

    Valentine Iwenwanne is a Nigerian freelance journalist.

    He tweets @lovableval

  • Embrace wisdom in your home (2)

    Embrace wisdom in your home (2)

    Dear Reader,

    Last week, I took you through the various kinds of wisdom and how you can connect yourself to the wisdom of God. This week, we will be exploring how you can apply God’s wisdom in your home, family and marriage.

    A recap from last week defines wisdom as knowing the scriptural way to go, the scriptural steps to take and the scriptural things to do. However, you may ask how then do I apply myself to this scriptural wisdom? Wisdom is hearing the sayings of God and doing them. It is the correct application of knowledge. It demands that you take steps in applying correctly all you will learn of God this month concerning your home. Only then, will you begin to reap the fruits of a successful home. The Bible says: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

    The place of wisdom in building a successful home cannot be over-emphasized. The Bible says: Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).

    As a husband, the Bible instructs that you dwell with your wife according to knowledge. I like the way Amplified version of the Bible puts it. It says: In the same way you married men should live considerately with (your wives), with an intelligent recognition (of the marriage relation), honouring the woman (as physically) the weaker, but (realizing that you) are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favour of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off.  (Otherwise you cannot pray effectively)  I Peter 3:7.

    Men, when you understand the nature of your wife and walk according to that understanding, quarrels and tension are eradicated from your home. When you are knowledgeable about your wife, you will not put undue pressure on her because you will realise that she is not a robot. She is your wife, a mother and homemaker all together, and these roles place a demand on her. You must be considerate of her feelings and needs, and be available to attend to those needs.

    From the above scripture, the second clause says, “giving honour unto the wife…” This implies that your wife is not to be treated as a slave or inferior, but you are to treat her with respect. Your wife should be sought and allowed to make her own contributions in the home no matter how little it may be.

    Some men beat their wives as if they are beating a child; that’s foolishness. When a man beats his wife, he is not walking in God’s wisdom, rather he exhibits folly. The Bible says: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him (Proverbs 26:4). No matter how provoked you are, you must never beat your wife. If you do that, you are simply beating yourself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Ephesians 5:29).

    It is important to note that, beating your wife is a great sin against God. God hates it when any party deals treacherously/ deceptively in marriage. One of the common ways to deal treacherously with your spouse is when you engage in physical combat.

    If you notice a fault in your spouse, do not turn it into a fight, malice, or engage in a cold war. Do not give room to strife, envy or begin to discuss and report your spouse to relations, the house help or friends who don’t know God at all.

    My advice to the unmarried is that after all the ceremonies on your wedding day, go before the Lord and say: God this home is dedicated unto You; there is no situation or circumstance that will ever come our way that we cannot handle with You on our side. That was what my husband and I did, as soon as we got into the house we both knelt down, held our hands together and prayed ‘Father we don’t know how to do it, but we hand over this home to You and as long as we live in here there shall be no situation that cannot be under control in the name of Jesus! I am glad to say that years have rolled by and God has stayed faithful to that prayer. If you are married, you can also pray that prayer and rededicate your family unto God. If you can pray that prayer in sincerity, no one next door would hear you quarrel with your spouse again in Jesus name!

    As a man, to possess the mind of Christ in managing your home, you need the wisdom of God. The first step to accessing this wisdom is by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. You can do this by saying this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • RABIU ALI: Marriage has been good to me

    RABIU ALI: Marriage has been good to me

    As one of the longest serving players of Kano Pillars, Rabiu Ali is a household name in Kano.

    ‘Pele’, as he is fondly called by teeming fans of the club, has spent the greater part of his career in Kano and scored a load.

    “Kano Pillars is one of the best organised clubs in Nigeria. Since I was a little boy, I have dreamt of playing for Kano Pillars like every kid in my neighbourhood,” he stated. “I can’t remember all the goals I have scored for Pillars but I am popular in the city because there is no place that I go that I won’t hear the young and old calling ‘Pele’, my nickname on the field.”

    With three league titles (back to back) under his belt in 2012, 2013, and 2014, the lanky player relishes his over one decade experience in Pillars: “We are well treated by the club management and fans. We are also appreciated on the field because our home matches are usually sold out and when you play well, the young and old often appreciate us in cash and kind. Often they would come to me to tell me about wonderful goals that I have scored, even some that I have even forgotten.”

    At 37, Ali says he’s not slowing down and would continue to net valuable goals for club and country. He was a member of the Nigerian team to the last West African Football Union (WAFU) Cup of Nations in Ghana. Ali scored the only goal as Nigeria advanced to the final of the tournament after a 1-0 victory over 10-man Benin.

    Ali, who celebrated his 37th birthday on 27 September, expertly finished off a superb counter-attacking move by Nigeria on 11 minutes to score what turned out to be the only goal of the game.

    “That goal is one that I will not forget in a long time. It came against the run of play and we just took our chance when it came. That is football for you. It is good that we took that chance because, though, we had other opportunities, we did not score again.”

    Recalling the final game that Nigeria lost 4-1 to host country Ghana, Ali said it was one of the saddest days of his football career

    “We wanted to win that game to prove a point. That we also have quality players on the Nigerian league, but we lost concentration and the goals overwhelmed us,” he explained.

    Another goal that he would dream about for a while is the goal against Abubakar Bukola Saraki FC in a 1-1 draw away. The goal was adjudged VAT Wonder Goal for Match Day 26. Ali beat off competition from Tchato Giscard of MFM FC and Abia Warriors Yakub Hammed.

    “I won’t forget that goal too. For one, we were able to get a point at Ilorin. Two, it was considered the best goal that weekend.”

    Lastly, he noted that the goal fetched him a cash award which was presented to him few days after his wedding with his long time heartthrob Maryam.

    A day after he completed marriage rites with Maryam at a colourful wedding ceremony, Ali was presented his VAT Wonder Goal Award before an impressive turn out of fans at the Sani Abacha Stadium.

    The event held before mammoth fans of Kano during the rivalry fixture between Kano Pillars and Rangers International. He described the award as a perfect wedding gift which will serve as motivating factor to achieving greater things in his career.

    “I was overwhelmed with happiness when I learnt that I would be receiving the award a day after my wedding. I considered it as a perfect wedding gift. Kano Pillars fans came out in there thousands to wish me well and I am proud of them too.”

    Marriage life, he ventured, has been good too. ” Marriage is calming and good for a footballer. My wife used to come to see my matches and she is the type that is capable of taking care of the home front when I am away. We dated for some time before we decided to take it to the next level. I am happy to be with her because she is kind and understandable.”

    On the standard of the league, Ali, who has played at home for more than a decade, believes that the league is improving. “My visit to the kids at the Nasarawa Orphanage run by the Kano State government was an eye opener for me. I spoke with many of them and I was made to understand that we have many kids who are looking up to us in the league.

    ”This is a clear indication that the NPFL has a whole lot to offer to the younger generation; so, it is important to set up a standard that will accommodate these young ones in the future.

    “If these young ones are looking up to us as their mentor, then we must set good examples at all times too, so the kids would see good models to emulate and to be the best,” he noted.

  • Marriage: Association advocates HIV/AIDS screening

    Marriage: Association advocates HIV/AIDS screening

    Alhaji Abdullahi Muhammad, the Chairman, People Living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA) in Jigawa, has advised intending couples to go for HIV/AIDS screening before marriage.

    Muhammad gave the advice while speaking with newsmen in Dutse on Friday.

    He commended the Jigawa House of Assembly for passing a law making it compulsory for a man and woman to go for screening before marriage.

    The chairman said that the measure taken by government was to reduce the prevalence of the disease in the state.

    Muhammad said that their association was creating awareness to the people of the state in public places, including markets and motor parks, on how they can avoid contact with HIV/AIDs.

    He added that they were also using the media in the campaign against the spread of HIV/AIDs in the state.

    The chairman advised members of the public to go for screening with a view to knowing their status because HIV/AIDs don’t show on the face.

    Also speaking, the Public Relations Officer of the association in the state, Hajiya Basira Yahaya, said that they have been encouraging women to go for antenatal through to enable them know their status.

    Basira also advised women to avoid using knives that cut other women especially during festivities or occasions at the processes of cutting onions, tomatoes or meat without sterilisation.

  • HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART ONE]

    HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART ONE]

    With her head pressed tightly against her pillow, shedding warm tears that literally deluged her pillow, she cried all night, engaged in a pity party; asking God why her parents would call it quits – a once blissful marriage. She now feels a void, one that needs to be filled urgently before she loses her mind; she feels empty, finished and dry.

    First, it was an introduction; a seemingly harmless remark of “how are you?…my name is Femi!”. In response, she gives a restrained and innocuous smile out of courtesy, and tries to add the formal appellation of “Mr…” before returning the pleasantry. But quickly, like a predator that stealthily and hastily latches onto its unsuspecting prey, he interrupts and says – “please simply call me Femi.” She holds back her smile again and said…“ok then, Femi…it’s nice meeting you!”

    The breakout session was over, and everyone was required to congregate back as an audience and maintain their sitting arrangement. She politely excused herself and went to have a seat. From the corner of her eye she could see Femi…sorry, Mr Femi, staring at her; his head tilted almost permanently towards her direction.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART TWO]

    Femi was seated four seats before her (on the same row). She could hardly concentrate on the topic being discussed by the facilitator; all she could think about was how brazenly smart and articulate he was during her first encounter with him. Femi is the quintessential ladies’ dream-guy; he had the built (tall and sturdy) that most ladies delight in, skin tone that resonates between fair and chocolate, a baritone voice that literally reverberates and echoes in the receptacles your subconscious minutes after he has spoken, a clean low-cut with a well-trimmed goatee.

    Taking a cursory dive into a “not too distant past” of Amarachi (yes, that’s her name), say a year ago, you would see her pressing her head tightly against her pillow, shedding warm tears that literally deluged her pillow. She cried all night, and engaged in a pity party; asking God why her parents would call it quits – a once blissful marriage.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [CONCLUDING PART]

    She just turned twenty one, and was returning home after the completion of her one-year compulsory National Youth Service Corps (N.Y.S.C) program to her fatherland. Her steps were literally prancing, springing and pouncing as she drew close to her family house; in fact, she was barely six feet away from the gate when she raced into the house hoping to receive an overwhelming shower of love and warm embrace from her dad and mom; she is an only child.

    Her infantile excitement quickly turned sour and sore as she beheld an abusive scene of her father bludgeoning and pummeling down on her mom; his big fist tightly clenched and dashing out unrestrained blows on her. She quickly rushed to separate the duo before her father gives a KO (Knockout).

    He had a brutal and bestial deportment and demeanour; a side of him she had never seen before. Her mother laid on the tiled floor drenched in tears, sweat, and something that looked like blood…Oh no…it was her blood. The situation was critical, but thanks to the swift response from the state ambulance service unit, her mom was rushed to the hospital and was operated on quickly. After two weeks she was out of the hospital.

    Ever since that unfortunate incident, her once congenial and loving family had morphed into a house of commotion…heck!, a house of conundrum and confusion. Every day in the house was like a typical sad and depressing scenery from a classic tragedy movie…an unending saga of bitter and tempestuous relationship between her parents.

    The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when her mother filed for a divorce, and her dad in his usual egoistic machismo bragged about his foray into adultery and how he regrets ever laying eyes on his wife.

    Now they are divorced. Amarachi shuttles incommodiously between her mother’s newly rented apartment and her father’s house. She lays flat on the bed, her eyes looking up at the ceiling; her thoughts receding to the good times they once had as a family; like a transient smoke that quickly disappears into thin air, those times have become nothing more than empty memories…forever buried in the annals of history…her history!

    With her head pressing tightly against her pillow, shedding warm tears that literally deluged her pillow, she cried all night, and engaged in a pity party; asking God why her parents would call it quits – a once blissful marriage. She now feels a void, one that needs to be filled urgently before she loses her mind; she feels empty, finished, and dry.

    Fast forward into the seminar hall where she is conveniently seated with other participants, and of course, the charmer – “Mr Femi”.

    To be continued!

    By Moses Emorinken

    Email: brandphase@yahoo.com

    Twitter: @memorinken

    Instagram: @memorinken

  • Court dissolves marriage as wife complains of battery

    My wife denies me of sex. Whenever I report her to her mother, she asks me how many times I will have sex with her daughter,” a 39-year-old man, Amidu Olalere, has told an Igando Customary Court in Lagos State.

    He said: “Instead of admonishing her daughter, she asks me not to kill her with sex.”

    Amidu, the respondent, however, did not deny the allegation of battery.

    “I beat up my wife regularly because she is very stubborn. She does not obey my instructions.

    “Anytime we have misunderstanding and I slap her, she retaliates. This makes me get angry the more,” he said.

    The respondent said his wife moved out of his home with the children in January to stay with her mother, adding that whenever he called her, her mother rained curses on him.

    “There was a day my mother-in-law cursed me and I cursed her that thunder would kill her,” Amidu said.

    He said his mother-in-law accused him of planning to use her daughter for ritual.

    The respondent told the court that none of his children would inherit his property, if his wife divorced him.

    He added: “My wife goes out without  telling me, forcing me to cook for our children.”

    Amidu implored the court not to grant his wife’s wish because he was still interested in the marriage.

    The petitioner, Mrs. Adeola Olalere, told the court that her marriage was full of bitterness. She said: “My husband beats me up every time. I have fainted seven times. His beating sometime ago landed me in hospital. I regained consciousness two or three days later.

    “There was a day he dragged me outside, stripped me naked and beat me up. He turned me into a punch-bag. He did not stop until he saw blood gushing out of my body.

    “I’m tired of being stripped naked, being beaten up and being brutalised by my husband.

    “I have not enjoyed peace since I married this man. He is so rough, quarrelsome and violent.”

    The mother of four alleged that her husband was a drunkard and a heavy smoker.

    “My man drinks to stupor and smokes Indian hemp, after which he loses control.

    “Whenever he brings his friends home to smoke and I complain, he beats the hell out of me and does not leave me until I faint.

    “He collects money from me to give to his friends to buy Indian hemp. If I refuse to give him, he beats me up,” she said.

    The petitioner begged the court to dissolve her marriage, saying she was no longer interested in it because her husband might kill her.

    “Please, end this loveless union. I may not be lucky to regain consciousness next time my husband beats me to a pulp,” she added.

    Delivering judgment yesterday, the court President, Mr. Adegboye Omilola, dissolved the 11-year-old marriage after adjournments for the parties to resolve their differences failed.

    He said the petitioner was adamant despite family intervention and mediation by the court.

    “Since the petitioner insisted on divorce after interventions, the court has no choice but to dissolve the union despite the husband claiming he still loves his wife.

    “The court has pronounced the marriage between Mrs. Adeola Olalere and Mr. Amidu Olalere dissolved today. Both parties henceforth cease to be husband and wife.

    “They are free to go their separate ways without any hindrance and molestation,” Omilola said.