Tag: marriage

  • Court dissolves radio presenter Toke Makinwa’s marriage

    Court dissolves radio presenter Toke Makinwa’s marriage

    The three-year-old marriage between a popular radio presenter, Omotoke Makinwa and her estranged husband, Maje Ayida has hit the rocks.

    An Igbosere High Court in Lagos on Thursday dissolved the union, citing husband’s adulterous lifestyle, according to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN).

    Makinwa, is the co-host of the ‘Morning Drive’ on Rhythm 93.7FM, a blogger and an author.

    She had on March 9, 2016, asked the court to dissolve the marriage on the grounds that the husband committed adultery.

    Justice Morenike Obadina, while delivering judgment held that Ayida filed an answer to the petition but did not give oral evidence in support of it.

    She said the position of the law was settled as pleadings did not amount to evidence.

    “Pleadings on which no evidence was led are deemed abandoned. Therefore, Ayida’s evidence is deemed abandoned.

    “The effect being that the petitioner’s evidence is unchallenged and uncontroverted,’’ she ruled.

    The judge said the issue of cruelty which the petitioner (Makinwa) relied on was established because of the “mental and emotional stress” she was subjected to by her husband.

    He said Makinwa had sufficiently proven that the husband committed adultery and continued to flaunt his adulterous relationships even to her face.

    “I hold that the marriage has broken down on grounds of intolerable behaviour.

    “I hereby pronounce a `Decree Nisi’ dissolving the marriage between Makinwa and Ayida which was administered at the Federal Marriage Registry, Ikoyi, Lagos, on Jan. 15, 2014.

    “The order Nisi shall become absolute three months from today unless within that period sufficient cause is shown why it should not be made absolute,” Obadina said.

    Makinwa had told the court that her husband committed adultery with his mistress, Anita Solomon, adding that the relationship produced a child.

    She said since their marriage was contracted, the husband had “behaved in a way she could not reasonably be expected to continue to bear”.

    She also said the husband was cruel towards her, adding that their differences became irreconcilable.

    NAN also reports that during the trial, the petitioner (Makinwa ) testified in court and tendered some documents including their marriage certificate which were admitted in evidence.

    In her testimony, she said that after their marriage was contracted in 2014, cohabitation with her husband ceased on Nov. 8, 2015, without any child from the marriage.

    She also told the court of an instance where her husband threatened separation and even drafted a separation agreement because she discovered that he bought a ticket for his mistress to travel to London.

    The first respondent (Ayida) who replied to the petition when served, however, instructed his counsel, Mr T. O. Lawal, not to continue with the defence.

    Ayida through his counsel, therefore, foreclosed all evidence.

    The mistress (Solomon), who is the second respondent, refused to join issues with the petitioner.(NAN)

  • Cleric: dissolve my marriage, my wife curses me with her private part

    Cleric: dissolve my marriage, my wife curses me with her private part

    A pastor, Bernard Towoju, who said he cannot tolerate his wife’s ill-nature and trouble, has approached an Igando Customary Court, Lagos, seeking dissolution of their 25 years marriage.

    He said his wife, Abosede, was fond of stripping naked to curse him with her private part.

    “I cannot continue to make love to a woman who always curses me with her private part,” Towoju said.

    He said Abosede is stubborn, wayward and troublesome.

    “She once came to my office to fight me. She tore my clothes in the presence of my colleagues. We fight on a daily basis and hurt each other.

    “We always land at the police station after our fight. In fact, we are regular customers at the station,” the pastor said.

    The 53-year-old man also accused his wife of threatening his life.

    “My wife usually attacks me with weapons whenever we fight.

    “I ran away from the house I built 10 years ago to rent an apartment, for safety.

    “She chased me with cutlass, bottles and sticks; our neighbours can testify to this.

    “I am afraid, I cannot sleep under the same roof with her,” he said.

    The petitioner implored the court to dissolve the marriage, as he was no longer interested in it.

    Abosede accused her husband of calling her a witch.

    “He claimed everywhere he went for solution to his problems that they told him I am behind his predicament.

    “My hands are clean; I know nothing about his woes,” said the respondent.

    “Bernard abandoned me and the children 10 years ago. I have been taking care of the children,” the 36-year-old fashion designer added.

    The mother of four urged the court not to grant her husband’s request, saying “I still love him.”

    The court President, Mr. Adegboyega Omilola, adjourned the case till October 31 for further hearing.

  • Why you should not have  extra-marital affairs (1)

    Why you should not have extra-marital affairs (1)

    NO matter how much you try to justify being in a relationship with a married man, there are no positive reasons for dating a married man.

    Below are 18 top reasons why you shouldn’t date a married man

    1. Dating a married man is just plain wrong. No reason justifies your action.
    2. You will always be second best when you date a married man. Why be second best to a married man when you can be another man’s number one?
    3. When you date a married man, everything about the relationship will be a secret because he doesn’t want anyone to know about the relationship.
    4. You ruin your reputation when you date a married man as you give people another reason to speak poorly of you.
    5. Why date a married man when he will never truly be yours. He’s married to another woman and he will never fully be able to commit to you.
    6. Dating a married man never has a happy ending.
    7. You are just a tool for his sexual gratification. No matter what he tells you, you definitely mean nothing to him.
    8. Time waits for no one. When you date a married man, you just waste precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing.
    9. You won’t have him during special moments in his life as he would definitely spend it with his wife and family.
    10. You can’t see him or call him anytime you want. What’s the point being in a relationship in which you can’t call or see your partner anytime you want?
    11. You will become a regular customer at a hotel off town because you can’t come to his house.
    12. If someone he knows sees the both of you together, you will be introduced as his niece, cousin or even baby sitter. Why don’t you spare yourself such embarrassments.
    13. He might tell you his marriage is having issues and promise to marry you but that’s what they always say. It’s all lies.
    14. He will never respect you as a person.
    15. You can’t proudly introduce him as your man in public.
    16. Every man who knows about his relationship with you will see you as cheap and loose.
    17. If he can cheat on his wife to be with you, he will definitely cheat on you to be with someone else when he becomes tired of you.
    18. You stand a high chance of being publicly disgraced in public by a crazy wife. Spare yourself such embarrassment.

     

    Source:  www.elcrema.com

  • Who wants Ooni’s marriage crashed?

    Who wants Ooni’s marriage crashed?

    A FEW days ago, the social media were awash with the sensational story of the crashed marriage of the Ooni of Ife, Oba Enitan Ogunwusi, and his queen, Olori Wuraola. According to the authors of the story, Olori Wuraola, whose wedding to the Ooni last year and the subsequent honeymoon remains a reference point in social affairs, was guilty of certain misdeeds considered both unprintable and unpardonable. The marriage contracted just a little over a year ago was reportedly bedeviled by mutual suspicions and ego fights.

    Some said the monarch had lost patience with the Olori who hails from Benin City and had decided to dump her for a new beauty that would formally take Olori Wuraola’s place by September. The more adventurous of the rumour mongers even said that seeing the handwriting on the wall, Olori Wuraola had cut short her trip overseas and ran to former President Olusegun Obasanjo to seek his intervention in the royal rumble.

    But while many were getting ready to sing the dirge for the royal marriage, the Ooni himself came out to pour cold water on all the speculations. In an interview with an online medium, the young monarch dismissed the story as a baseless rumour peddled by mischief makers. Case closed.

  • How to fall back in love with your husband

    IF your husband sometimes feels more like your roommate, best friend, and co-parent than your lover, we get it. You’ve listened to the guy snore every night for years, he knows your weekly grocery list by heart, and he could spot your top Netflix pick in seconds. And those are all beautiful things! But if you haven’t felt that heart-skipping-a-beat kinda love in awhile, try these eight easy ways to revive it.

    Take a trip down memory lane

    When you’ve settled into the rhythm of a marriage, the memory of your first date is eclipsed by other milestones: your wedding day, the birth of your first child, your five- or 10-year anniversary. But taking the time to relive the earliest days of your courtship can help revive those falling-in-love feelings. “We fall in love with someone for a reason,” says relationship therapist Jill Vermeire. “Daydream and get lost in the memory of those first dates in order to remind yourself that your partner is still that person. Pausing to remember what brought you together and looking at the life you’ve built together is extremely important. Appreciation can be an amazing aphrodisiac.” Vermeire suggests re-creating the list of qualities you were looking for in a significant other to remind yourself how long it took to find the right person, and asking friends to help you recall what you said (or gushed) about your husband when you were first dating.

    Don’t try to re-create the butterfly feeling

    While it’s a good idea to relive the happy beginning of your relationship, you don’t want to over-romanticize it. The early excitement of falling in love is a wonderful thing, but what you have now is even better. “It’s important to remember that those sensations are actually related to an underlying fear of rejection, so there’s an element of risk that creates excitement,” says life coach and relationship specialist Ellen Hartson. “The sensation that brings back excitement is a quieter, subtle connection that’s more even, steady, and fulfilling. While this feeling is less chaotic, don’t mistake it for certainty, because that can lead to stagnation.” Revel in the lack of butterflies. Appreciate the luxury and comfort of knowing you’re coming home to someone who’s totally committed to you.

    Paddle against the current

    The longer you’re married, the more likely you are to pay attention to the negative aspects of your spouse, rather than the traits you found adorable when you first fell for him. To counteract this tendency toward criticism, be more intentional about positive communication. In other words, work hard to stay in love. “During the courtship stageor the ‘Velcro stage,’ as I call itwe automatically focus on the positive and make our partner feel valued and chosen,” says psychologist Harriet Lerner, author The Dance of Anger. “The longer people are together, the more this selective attention flips. Don’t get lazy because the natural course of marriage is downstream. Fight the current.” She suggests ensuring your positive feedback exceeds the critical stuff by making at least two encouraging comments to your partner every day.

    Get physicaland not just in bed

    When you’re falling in love with someone, you constantly look for ways to be in physical contact with that personand we don’t just mean when you’re naked. Reincorporating everyday physical gestures here and there can help stir up those loving feelings again. “Start small with a gentle brush of the arm, a pat on the back, holding hands, just putting your hand on top of his,” says Hartson. Every gesture counts. The skin is the largest organ on our body, and physical touch is an important human need.” Before you know it, those little touches will translate to a deepened emotional connection.

    Be a mystery

    As much as you want to appreciate the safety of a committed relationship, it’s important not to get too comfortable. Investing in interests outside of your relationship creates a little breathing room, which stokes the flames of love and intrigue. “When two people know absolutely everything about each other, it’s not a recipe for romance,” says Lerner. “Develop a new passion outside the relationship. Get your blip off his radar screennot in a cold way, but in an I-have-my-own-separate-life way. The more passion you have for life outside of your relationship, the more opportunity there is to rediscover love within it.” Doing a 30-day workout challenge or signing up for a photography class isn’t selfishau contraire, it will likely strengthen your attraction and bond with your husband.

    Tell yourself you’re in love… again and again.

    Whether we acknowledge it or not, we talk to ourselvesif not out loudnonstop. That inner dialogue can have a big impact on our relationships, from creating tension or resentment to fostering a sense of love, joy, and intimacy. “The biggest internal shift we can make is to look at what we tell ourselves about our spouse and how we dialogue with our partners inside our heads,” says psychologist Vagdevi Meunier, founder of the Center for Relationships. “When one person is feeling discouraged in a relationship, the first thing I want to know is what they tell themselves on a daily basis. If you’re engaging in hopeless, negative, or judgmental self-talk, you’re actually having a stronger relationship with the spouse inside your head than the real person.” Shifting to more positive, vulnerable, empathetic self-talk with the partner in your head and in your lifecan help reframe your dynamic. In other words, instead of wondering, Do I still love him?, think, I love him because I choose to see all the things that make him wonderful.

    Remember that the chase is never over

    Even after he proposes, you say your vows, apply for a mortgage, and send the kids to preschool, it’s important to remember that your partner will never fully be “yours.” We’re not trying to scare you, but experts say that a healthy awareness that things can change on a dime may actually help you feel more in love with your partner on a day-to-day basis. “The truth is that there are no guarantees, ever,” says Vermeire. “At any moment a person can change their mind. That’s why a marriage needs attention and appreciation all the time.” We don’t want you to stress about a theoretical relationship apocalypse, but valuing your spouse and making sure he knows that you do goes a long way toward rekindling and reinforcing the love that you may, at times, take for granted.

    Let go of your resentments

    If you have a chip on your shoulder because your partner isn’t taking out the recycling often enough or helping you make weekend plans, those little bitter feelings could be grinding down the love and goodwill you’ve created over time. So take a hard look at the expectations you believe your spouse isn’t meetingbecause they’re your problem, not his. “One common cause of the spark wearing off is that we build up resentments,” says Hartson. “Expecting your partner to always be sexy, funny, reasonable, sensible, and accommodating is a set-up for bad feelings. To get the excitement back, first you have to get over your resentments and strive for acceptance.” Even if these aren’t the core issues, it’s important to hash them outfirst with yourself, then with your husbandso you can move on to discussing more deep-seated, long-term problems. Doing so will change the whole dynamic of your relationship, making it lot easier to communicate, connect, and feel more in love.

     

    Source: redbookmag.com

  • Court dissolves 39-year-old marriage between ex regent, husband

    A Customary Court sitting in Ikole-Ekiti  in Ekiti, on Monday dissolved the 39-year-old marriage between Mrs Idowu Omolayo,50, and her estranged husband, Chief Olusola Omolayo,55.

    Mrs Idowu was a former regent of Ayebode –Ekiti in  Ikole Local Government Area of Ekiti.

    The president of the court, Mrs Yemisi Ojo, in her judgment ordered that the couple should go their separate ways since there was no room for reconciliation as claimed by the petitioner.

    “The court has heard the evidence of both parties and finds that the parties have lived together for a very long period of time, such that a marriage can be reasonably presumed.

    “But since no dowry was paid, an allegation admitted by the respondent, the association can, however, be regarded as cohabitation.

    “The petitioner insists on dissolving whatever relationship she has with the respondent, refusing to consider reconciliation.

    “It is on this note that the court orders the parties to go their separate ways as they stand unmarried,” she said.

    Ojo said that the prayer by the petitioner for the custody of the third and fourth children, aged 20 years and 25 years respectively, was not granted.

    “No order as to the visitation rights of the children and consequently no order as to the financial cost maintenance of the children sought by the petitioner by reason of their being aged,” she said.

    She said that the parties must maintain peace henceforth, reminding them of their rights to appeal the decision of the court within 30 days.

    NAN also reports that the former regent had approached the court for an order for the dissolution of the marriage that was blessed with four children.

    The petitioner had sought the dissolution on grounds of alleged threat to her life; constant fighting between her and her husband, lack of proper care for her and the children, as well as drunkenness.

    She also accused her husband of abandoning the family for two and half years, her unsettled mind, public assault and non-payment of her dowry by her husband.

    Olusola who was the respondent in the case, however, denied the allegations and claimed that both of them jointly responsible for their children’s upbringing.

    He said that he was shouldering 65 per cent of the responsibilities.

    Olusola, who opposed the prayer of the petitioner for the dissolution, claimed that the last time he beat his wife was over 20 years ago.

    He told the court that he abandoned his family in 2015 because of the issues he had with his younger brother-in-law.

     

  • After 5 years of sexless marriage, see the natural remedy that increased my husband manhood to 6.3 inches

    After 5 years of sexless marriage, see the natural remedy that increased my husband manhood to 6.3 inches

    My husband and I have been married for the past 5years but unfortunately the marriage have been a living hell.

    Let me tell you my story: before our wedding, my husband and I did not have sex so we did not really know about each other’s sex life.

    After our marriage, anytime we have sex I notice that within 30seconds of making love to me… my husband would have released his sperm and fall to the other side of the bed.

    In fact, it was embarrassing because his manhood will not go erect again… so from there he would just sleep off.

    At first, I was confused and I tried to cope with his bad side of releasing too quick during sex and weak erections, but as time goes on, something even worse happened.

    I noticed that my husband penis was shrinking in size, and it was becoming tiny. Surprisingly, my husband manhood was becoming smaller as time went on.

     

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    Sometimes when we make love, my husband small manhood would just be floating inside my vagina.

    When my husband tries to penetrate my vagina deeper, his manhood slips out because it has become too small.

    Sooner, I released that I was stuck with a man that has a small penis (around 3inches when erect) and a man that cannot last more than 40seconds during sex.

    I used to cry every night because my husband’s manhood became irritating for me, and I refused having sex with him.

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    Instead of sex, I used to watch porn movies of men that have BIG manhood and masturbate with it. Truth is, I had no choice and did not want to cheat on my husband.

    I had no choice but to confront him and tell him to look for solution to his problem.

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    It was then she too confessed to me that her fiancé used to have a smaller manhood like that of my husband, but they met with a men health specialist that helped him to increase it.

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    All thanks to my very close friend that told me the secret of the enlargement oil.

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    Apart from that, the men health specialist recommended a NAFDAC approved supplement that helped my husband completely cure his severe premature ejaculation.

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    Within 1week of using the supplement, my husband sexual performance improved tremendously… from lasting just 1minute during sex to 25minutes without releasing.

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    Right now, I and my husband are enjoying more sex like young couples. His manhood has become bigger and he can now last longer during sex.

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    • or she will start picking quarrels and fights with you… all because she is frustrated about your sexual performance

    • She will start denying you of having sex with her, after all you won’t last more than 2minutes in bed with her and your manhood is like that of baby so why waste her time

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  • I have grown, Tonto replies critics as marriage dissolves

    I have grown, Tonto replies critics as marriage dissolves

    To those, who still feel Tonto Dikeh is the old get-back-at-you lady, the actress has said she has no hate, but love to share.

    “I get to see some awful comments and I am here to say I will never reply to any negative or bad vibes…,” she wrote in a statement released on her Instagram page on Wednesday.

    “I have had my own fair share of clapbacks, saucy with rice replies in the past and believe me I have grown up so much I wouldn’t elude such sadness and classlessness again.

    “Please if you have nothing positive to say I advice you restrain from my page, please. I mean you can insult me in your hearts and minds but not on my page and still put me through the stress of blocking and deleting. C’Mooon that’s brutal.

    “It’s said that you can’t give what you don’t have “I don’t have hate, nor clapbacks or nasty reply, so I can’t give you that, all I can however give you is love.”

    This is coming after a video surfaced online officially dissolving the actress marriage’s to Olakunle Churchill, as her family reportedly refunded the bride price paid to them by her estranged husband.

    In confirmation to the refund bride price, a letter on a letter head bearing Rumuehio-Okania Family and dated 26-06-17 read, ‘Refund of Pride Price’ ‘Tonto Dikeh and Olakunle Churchill; whose customary marriage was performed according to the custom of the Rumuokwata Community. The Parties have notified the community by themselves and through their respective families unwillingness to continue to live as husband and wife.’

    It goes on: ‘The family [having] prevailed, cautioned and advised them against the decision, they have insisted to carry on with their intentions.

    ‘The family is left with no option than to allow for peaceful separations.

    ‘Therefore, the family has accepted to refund Ola Churchill the Bride Price as the custom demands.

    ‘Both parties have accepted to refunds and receipt of the bride price.’

    Another video clip has been related to the actress celebrating the freedom, as she is seen in jubilation mood in a video clip she uploaded on Instagram, which was captioned; “Came to drop something off, only to find her dancing and rejoicing outside.”

  • Bad marriage

    Bad marriage

    I have been waiting for a while to witness a colloquium on Biafra by Biafrans for Biafrans. From such a fest of loyalists, I expected to hear each of them define the word for themselves and the world. But such a thing would never happen because it would ignite a dynamic no Biafran or Nigerian, for that matter, desires.

    They will hit a deadlock. One man’s Biafra may be the next woman’s nightmare. For a few people, Biafra may mean Biaxit, or exit from noisome Nigeria. To others, it means simply an Igbo identity, which connotes tribal pride, music and dance, cuisine and couture, romance and rites. It is anaemic until stirred, like old wine lost in a decanter.

    To yet another set of people, Biafra simply signifies rebellion, a Pavlovian reflex to defend an identity wherever the matter arises. It could even mean flicking out a knife or toting a gun. It bears no special political register or temperament, but an instinctive assertion of a cultural forte.

    Yet for another set, it is rebellion all right but one shorn of a separatist impulse. These are the forces for restructuring, who loathe secession but whose emotions align with the Nnamdi Kanu’s.

    Part of the problem is that Biafra is not an Igbo word. Unlike similar agitations, like The Kanaks of New Caledonia or Party Quebecois of Canada, Biafra draws its name from a bight that abuts on the Atlantic Ocean. From merely a bight, Biafra evokes a blight of identity. If it were an Igbo word, its meaning might be specific. Yet, there is nothing more specific than the fact that, in its earliest incarnation, it meant secession. Ojukwu evoked his people’s pride, a pride that led to a theatre where they fought and died. But the idea now exhales an ambiguous life.

    If it failed then, it has undergone metamorphosis. Some will say metastasis. But whatever form it takes depends on the individual Igbo man’s perception of Nigeria today. So, when Nnamdi Kanu and his other cohorts blare out imprecations about Nigeria, the implications are sometimes lost on us. Is he speaking to the secessionist or the “restructurer”? After any deconstruction, we shall arrive at these two main divides in Igboland. The secessionist, who wants to go. The restructurer, who would stay but in an ambience that affirms his rights.

    This kaleidoscope of personas does not come up on the burner of national discourse, or Igbo dialogue. Biafra has been slammed into one bracket: exit from Nigeria. We have to understand this if any progress will furnish our engagement with the southeast.

    So, when Acting President Yemi Osinbajo gathered elders in Aso Rock, which Biafra did the invitees stand for. The assumption was that they stood against Biafra, and that the elders held a clue to the quelling of the distemper. The point, though, is that the Igbo elite needs to winnow the disquiet and identify the various groups and see how a meeting of minds can help create a semblance of consensus. Or if a consensus is not possible, we need to know what proportion of the Igbo reject any dialogue.

    What we see now is a sort of schizophrenia. Now for Biaxit, now for Nigeria. But no true dialogue is going on. During the American revolution, Benjamin Franklin said, “the revolution is in the hearts and minds of the American people.” Yet, only a third of Americans wanted to leave. But it was strong enough to edge out England. During the country’s civil war about a century later, the south fought to secede because of slavery. Some of them were also fighting for a cultural identity, the southern idiosyncrasy, the way they speak, eat, love, die and play. The majority did not want war.

    This is a serious matter. Those Igbo leaders are clearly afraid of the maelstrom in the east. They are afraid to speak truth to the kanus while the false demagogue rails at his fellow Igbo who worship in a Yoruba man’s church. He speaks about war. He peddles hate and hate words. He asserts Igbo identity only at the expense of others. He “others” the others. Like Jean Paul Sartre, he believes “hell is other people.”

    Yet the governors and political elite pivot towards decency of language and a serenity of vision. These people cannot speak to the turbulent hordes within their region. This tension creates a paralysis for all of us. It is even a bad omen because it allows the reptile in the sewer to morph into a monster. Then it might be too late.

    Few remember that the Middle East of today, with such countries as Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey, etc were part of the Ottoman Empire. They roiled quietly, sometimes violently, against the state. The empire swaggered, especially under Kemal Attaturk. But it staggered and fell at the end of the First World War. The Allies broke it under the League of Nations, and the countries secured their independence.

    We cannot pretend to keep the peace when there is genuine tension. Those calling for secession know that the federation is a fraud, and it needs urgent work. We cannot solve it with the fragile plasters of the rhetoric of reconciliation.

    So what is clear is that Biafra suffers from an identity crisis. Until that is resolved, we shall go giddy in a circle. Some of this problem lies in the hypocrisy of the Igbo elite. They know this identity tension, they merely keep quiet. A professor like Ben Nwabueze receives Kanu and tries peevishly to recast him as a restructurer rather than a treasonous bumbling.

    They see Kanu go along like the Shakespearean music as the food of love. But they are in thrall while the country “sicken and so die.” What we have is a bad marriage in the east. The sort in which the Biaxiteers and the restructurers are cohabiting as though divorce is remote.  In Twelfth Night, the clown Feste quips, “Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.”

    Unless the bad spirit is hanged, the bad marriage will lead to a divorce action whose consequence no one can predict. In the play, there were a number of comedy of errors as people fall in love with the wrong people until the fairest of all finds out she is in love with a woman disguised as a man.

    To hang the bad spirit, a dialogue, open and urgent, is imperative. Or else, they will encourage the other treason peddlers among Arewa youth to issue their own versions of instability. The last time such tension happened, a pogrom burned in the north with many Igbo and southern minorities wiped out. Biafra followed.

    This is the time to cut through the disguises. We should know who stands for what. The Presidency must serve as catalyst in this. We cannot continue as liars to ourselves.

  • ONOME EBI: MARRIAGE NOT YET IN MY PLANS

    ONOME EBI: MARRIAGE NOT YET IN MY PLANS

    Winners sleep while losers weep’ is not an uncommon expression; and Super Falcons’ star defender, Onome Ebi, has yet again reiterated the benefits of sleeping to her fledging career.

    ‘Sleep?  I can sleep forever,” Onome who has won the Africa Women’s Cup of Nations titles thrice between 2012 and 2016 told The Nation Sport & Style. “I love sleeping and I don’t toy with it.”

    In fact, an online platform, fatiguescience had long canvassed that athletes needed more sleeping hours in their daily training to excel and Vincent Thomas Lombardi – the late American football player and coach – had long given a fillip to the assertion saying: ‘modern elite athlete knows that physical conditioning and good nutrition are critical in reaching peak athletic performance. However, sleep, while often overlooked, plays an equally important role. In recent years, it’s become clear that the quality and quantity of sleep obtained by elite athletes can be the edge between winning and losing on game-day.’

    In its report, fatiguescience noted that there are five areas that an athlete stands to benefit by rocking the body to sleep more often namely: Improved reaction times; Reduced injury rates, improved overall health; Longer playing careers; Better accuracy, faster sprint times and Fewer mental errors; with star athletes like Usain Bolt (Track& Field); Roger Federer (Tennis) and Lebron James(Basketball) reportedly saying they get as much as 12 hours sleep per night in order to be at their best.

    Speaking in the same vein, the 34-year-old Nigerian defender, who has featured in five FIFA Women’s World Cup and the 2008 Beijing Olympics, affirmed that sleeping had long been her best keep-fit secret as well as tenacity on the pitch, saying her day is not complete without a quality sleeping routine.

    “I don’t toy with my sleep,” she stated. “I give it eight to nine hours daily; and to make the ride smooth, I like to listen to music before going to bed. Of course, I do not go to bed with makeup.”

    Away from the sleeping turf though, Onome has done well for herself on the pitch too, and currently playing for FC Minsk in the Belarusian Premier League. She actually started her career with Bayelsa Queens FC before moving to Piteå IF and Djurgårdens IF in Sweden’s Damallsvenskan.

    She later moved to Tukey where she played for Ataşehir Belediyespor FC and Düvenciler Lisesispor in the First League and made her UEFA Champions League debut in August 2012 while playing for Ataşehir Belediyespor. Thereafter, she returned to the Swedish Damallsvenskan in 2013 to play for Sunnanå SK; before going to Belarus to play for FC Minsk where she has won Belarusian Premier League, the Belarusian Women’s Cup and the Belarusian Women’s Super-Cup twice. Famed for wearing jersey Number 5 at both the club and country levels, she opted for 55 as her favourite number was no longer available at the time she arrived at FC Minsk.

    Very passionate about the beautiful game that has given her fame, Onome opined that women stand to gain by engaging in sport-related

    activities.

    “Women derive a lot of health benefits from a healthy lifestyle, and participation in sport and physical activity can prevent countless of non-communicable diseases which account for a high rate of global deaths. For girls, it can have a positive impact on childhood health, as well as reduce the risk of chronic diseases in later life,” she stated even as she shares her flip side with MORAKINYO ABODUNRIN. Excerpts…

     

    Playing different roles before settling to defence

    I actually started off as a striker and really enjoyed that position. But somewhere down the line, I was getting closer to the goalkeeper. When you start off young, coaches will often play you in different positions which are good as you learn the offensive and defensive parts of the game. It was when I got to camp for the national team, that I suddenly got put into defence as the coach noticed I had attributes of a defender and I took the position without any difficulty. The experience of playing in different positions, for me, was good as I love the game. So, wherever I get an opportunity to play, I will accept it. Now that I am a defender, I feel that my style of play is about not letting anyone get past me.

    Experiences playing abroad

    Playing abroad has allowed me to really develop as a player. The experience is so much better as you don’t have to think about facilities being poor or matches not being played for one reason or the other. The structure abroad allows you to really focus on playing to the highest level you can. It was the best decision I could make to go and play abroad when I got the opportunity and would encourage other girls to do the same as we still have a long way to go in Nigeria to get female football to a level where the players can feel appreciated. I think I enjoyed Turkey more as it was also a nice place to live as well. Belarus and Sweden have their challenges in the form of language and the weather.

    Experiences with Super Falcons at the World cup, All Africa Games and AFCON?

    The experiences as a player and being part of a team is always nice. When we get together as a team, we just want to do the best for the country and make our supporters proud. The planning and post experiences of the tournament are not always the best as we often feel let down by the administrators not giving us the same privileges as the men teams. Despite that, we have achieved so much and for me personally, three Women’s AFCON medals and four World Cup appearances tell you that I really enjoy playing on the biggest stage possible.

    Things that make you happy and sad

    Football makes me happy as it is what I live for. But I think over the last few months I have become so much

    happier with a team behind me. The Temple Management Company has given me so much belief that outside football there is a lot I can achieve and at the same time, I can inspire people through football. In terms of things that make me sad……well that will be when I get injured like at the final last year against Cameroon. I thought I may not be able to play again and I was extremely sad for a while.

    Type of man to marry.

    I never thought about marriage when playing as I knew having a boyfriend would be a distraction. I may not have been able to play this long. But that said, I would like to get married and have a family. The type of man I’d like to marry is one that will appreciate what I do and will support me every step of the way.

    Birthday blues

    I only travelled to Turkey recently. It was surprise birthday present from two of my favourite people and they know who they are. I really want to thank them from the bottom of my heart.

    Friendship with Asisat Oshoala

    Asisat is like a sports daughter to me. We struck friendship during camp and since then we haven’t looked back. She is so focused on always being the best, which is a great quality in a person.

    Favourite dress and what would you not be caught wearing