The Nation Newspaper

Tag: Relationship

  • ‘The challenge of being in a relationship with a celebrity’

    ‘The challenge of being in a relationship with a celebrity’

    SHE was barely known on the scene until she started a relationship with Peter Okoye, one-half of the dynamic group known as P Square. Pretty looking Lola Omotayo who has two kids for Peter posits that she really can’t define herself but she gave an insight as to who she really is.

    “What you see is what you get. I can’t really define who I am per se, but I’m humble, caring, loving and a professional in the oil and gas profession. I take my work and family very seriously because they are very important to me, my immediate family in particular.”

    For one who has mixed parentage, Lola revealed that her upbringing was really interesting as she had to contend with growing up in a household where the cultures of both parents were deemed as very important.

    “The journey has been a very interesting one. My Dad is a Nigerian and my mother is Russian. I was brought up in a household where both cultures are very important to my family. As a child, I went to boarding school where I learnt how to speak Yoruba. It wasn’t one of those glamorous schools, it was in Ondo State. Basically, my father wanted me to have a reality check of where I come from and what I need to aspire to be as an adult. From my mother’s angle, she imbedded her own culture on us as well. She insisted that we speak Russian at home, and we speak Yoruba at home as well, so I got the best of both languages.

    “In 1990, I went to the University of Ife for a short while to study Psychology, but Nigeria was in a terrible state then; universities were on strike and all that. So my father said ‘why can’t you come to America,’ because he was working there then. So I applied to study theatre and film in San Francisco University, America. I wanted to focus more on directing because I didn’t want to become an actress, but eventually life just took me through a journey and I started working for an I.T company there. That was how I started building my career. ” Lola said.

    Some years later, she decided to quit her post at the I.T firm as she thought seriously about establishing herself back home in Nigeria- a move she eventually made when found her way back to the buzzing city of Lagos.

    “I decided that I’m going to move to Nigeria after I spent some years working with the I.T firm, but before then, I did some interviews to ensure that I secure a job before coming here. I got a job with ECONET as their Events Manager. I worked there for over a year before Daily Times called me. The paper was trying to rebrand then and they have secured the service of Adrian Wood who was with MTN. I decided to join them because Adrian Wood was like my mentor.

    “I joined Daily Times and gave it my all, but some top people there didn’t really inspire me at the time, so I had to find my way. I worked for an advertising company called FKG2 and spent about five years there. We did a lot of things and it was interesting, that was where I met Peter actually. One of our clients, British American Tobacco (BAT) and P Square were doing something on Benson & Hedges then. We were on a road show together. I was still in the company when I gave birth to my son, but because the job was so demanding, I opted to work in my father’s company, Nosco Oil & Gas, so that I can have time to take care of my baby. I joined as an executive director in order to bring fresh ideas to the company. It was a new terrain for me, but I learnt quickly.” Lola averred.

    One also wonders Lola’s driving force considering the fact that the mother of two does not seem to depend on Peter’s wealth despite the fact that he has been quite successful over the years.

    “I believe that as a lady, you have to support your partner. You can’t put everything on your partner; it is important to add value as well. Even though I’m not bringing as much as he brings to the table, at least, I’m adding value and making things a lot easier. Honestly, that’s the way I was brought up; I can’t rely on someone for everything. I have to be independent. I should be able to buy something for my kids without asking their father for money. I feel good as a person knowing that I can do things for myself, not that I want to feel above him in anyway, but I just feel it is important for me to add some value to his life as much as he adds to mine.” She said.

    Lola also has a word of advice for Nigerian ladies who put all their financial burdens on their partner.

    “I think that is the core of our problems in this society because we put so much pressure on the man to take care of us. We put so much pressure on them, and that tempts some men to start doing some shady businesses. Women put too much pressure on men in this part of the world. Also, a lot of women are greedy and lazy, so they just want to get married and stop working. It doesn’t mean women should go all out and work for the men, but somehow, you just have to make things easy for him. I see a lot of young ladies out there; it is not as if there are no jobs for them to do, the problem is that they don’t want to do certain type of jobs, they want everything to come easy. I started the very hard way, I didn’t start the easy way like people assume.

    “I had to work myself up there because I had a vision. A lot of young ladies in Nigeria see people driving fancy cars; carrying fancy bags and assume that a man is supposed to do all of that for them, so they sell themselves in order to get it. But you don’t have to do that. You can always find ways to make money legally.” Lola pointed out.

    Had she not been born into a well-to-do home, one wonders how Lola would have coped, considering the seething economic situation in the country? But Lola says it all has to do with upbringing and family values.

    “I come from a humble background; I didn’t come from a very rich background. My parents worked really hard and I saw the care that they took to ensure that they instill the best on their kids, so I drew my strength from there. You have to fight for whatever you want; if it is education that will take you there, then, you have to go to school and ensure that you get the needed degree. And if you are creative, you can do other things, may be design clothes and all that. It doesn’t have to be a big job. Dangote didn’t start with millions of dollars, so you have to be focused and work on it gradually to get to where you are going. In fact, coming from a privileged background is difficult because it won’t make you see how life really is.

    “My father really threw me to the dogs; he wanted me to see how life is. He could have enrolled me into some fancy schools when I was growing up, but he wanted me to see how life is. He made me rub shoulders with people who had nothing. I have friends who came from rich background and today, they have nothing. I also have friends who came from poor homes and today they are doing well. It is about family values and hard work.” She posited.

    Lola who recently gave birth to a baby girl named Aliona in America also opened up on her relationship with Peter and what actually attracted her to the energetic and talented performer.

    “I love Peter because he was never intimidated. When I met him, he was just trying to build himself and I was very proud of him. I have a lot of respect for him, his talent and I saw that he had a vision. Peter doesn’t get intimidated by anything; in fact, he supports and encourages me all the time. I think he’s happy that he doesn’t have to do everything; he can rely on me that I will take care of our kids.

    “Peter has drive. He has vision and pursues it. He doesn’t let anybody distract him from that vision and that I saw in him, which a lot of people didn’t see. Some people were like, ‘what are you doing with a musician? Are you crazy?’ but I saw something very different and unique about Peter. I saw the goals he set for himself and how he accomplished those goals step by step, and I was very impressed with that. I also saw that he wasn’t a selfish person. He was a generous person from the outset, even though he didn’t have much then, he was always generous. I like a man who is generous, not for the financial reason, but also to see how he can add value to other people’s lives- that is very important to me. He is also a good listener; he listens to people and also listens to me. Those are the things that attracted me to Peter. He’s an amazing guy.” Lola chuckles.

    Last year, Peter gave Lola the surprise of her life when what was supposed to be a quiet lunch date to celebrate her birthday turned out to be a surprise party at West Fosters, located at 70, Ikoyi, Lagos.

    She was surprised to see her father and other guests at the party which also had in attendance the Managing Director of DANA Air, Jacky Hathiramani with his wife and a few other guests.

    Such is the nature of Peter as an excited Lola reveals how romantic he can be compared to the average Nigerian guy.

    “Peter is very romantic as well. He does things that an average Nigerian guy will not do. There was a Valentine Day that he came to my house with a guitar and played some love ballads for me. That was really cool and I loved it. Those are the little things that he does that really touched me.” She informed.

    With all the attention and spotlight Peter receives with his twin brother every now and then, Lola reveals that it is quiet hard to be in a relationship with a celebrity especially with fact that he is always on the road all the time.

     

  • I don’t have resources for marriage, but I can well handle a sexual relationship

    Mum, please I will ever live to love, support you, and assist advertise your impact on humanity; kindly help me this first time.

    Simply, I’m a grown up young man, and for now, I don’t have resources for marriage, but I can well handle a sexual relationship. But as a result of my background from childhood, I can’t talk to and convince an opposite sex for this; kindly use your position, influence and impact to approach, talk to and convince a nice lady for me or rather give a genuine connection either by sending phone number to her or show my number to whoever.

    I don’t have much to say than to ask you to wait until you have money for marriage before you start looking for sex. So, you want to sleep with people’s children, knowing fully well that you don’t have money now to marry them. You’re looking for poor girls who would donate their bodies to satisfy your fantasies. To make it worse, you’re looking for such girls through me! You try! Most good girls want marriage the moment they go into a relationship; not sex. go and convince those who will listen to you with your own mouth. Count me out of it.

  • Solutions to real life relationship issues

    Question: Princess I am confused. I met a guy about 6 months ago at a party. 4 week s into our friendship, I agreed to fully date him. Meanwhile, I have been noticing some differences in him. If I call or text him, he will not respond. I call or text him about 10 times before he responds with only one word or two. I have that feeling that if I don’t communicate with him, he might forget about me, or that he is not thinking about me.

    He also appears to be a workaholic because he does not like to talk, he tells me that he loves to be by himself, listens to music, and reads most of the time. He hardly socializes but if he noticed that I am upset, he will tell me its work that he is very busy. I’ve tried to break up with him more than 20 times without any luck. Please advise me! Folake, Victoria Island

    Answer: Folake, you’re boyfriend appears to be a workaholic and a loner. Normal men need 30% extra space in a relationship (Married in faithful relationship). Semi-normal men need 60 % space in a relationship (Married but cheats on their spouse). A loner especially men need 80% space in a relationship (May be married or not if married may need 90% space). Two difficult issues to deal with unless cautioned with extreme patience. Since you have tried to break-up with him more than 20 times without any luck, it means there is love or care from the both of you. I am sure you adore your boyfriend, but you are like most women in love, you can’t get enough of him. Whenever time you are not spending with him in person or on the phone, you are actually longing for him. Sounds like you right? You would give anything to spend the rest of your life with this man, but you have recently come to the realization that he is not feeling the same way about you. Your idea of a relationship is different from his idea of a relationship. He may have told you that he needs some space or room to think.

    If your boyfriend wants time alone, it’s imperative that you do certain very specific things to ensure that his temporary need for some space does not turn into a long break up. When your boyfriend wants time alone the worst possible thing you can do is to push him to change his mind. A man who is feeling distant will only become more so if the woman he is with won’t let him go. He’ll view your behavior as a sign of pure desperation. He’ll run in the opposite direction as fast as he can and he won’t look back although in your mind you might think what you’ve been doing might bring him closer to you or that he does not think that there is someone else if you don’t make that effort. Instead what he is getting or reading from your behavior or through your behavior is that you don’t value him enough to give him what he needs. You are essentially demonstrating to him that your needs matters much more than his, he might even think that you are trying to control him through your actions. No man wants to be with a woman who is that selfish. If your boyfriend wants time to think or he expresses a need for space, give it to him.

    You certainly don’t have to have a huge smile on your face as you push him out the door. Be understanding and cooperate if you do really love or care about him. Also you said he is a workaholic, aside from being a loner, pressure from his work might be an added pressure on him. Someone like that needs pure understanding from his or her partner. This will help him see why you are the perfect partner for him.

    Communication with people like this is also extremely difficult. Chances are that if your boyfriend is one of those people who need a lot of space, he also won’t respond well to emotional arguments involving a lot of tears and yelling. More likely than not, loud emotional confrontation will only succeed in getting him to clamp up behind his wall so fast both of you won’t know what hit you. So if you start feeling like your hurt feelings are turning into anger which is very possible, and the rage is boiling up your throat stop! Take time to calm down, construct an honest argument that includes the possibility for misinterpretation and misunderstanding on both sides, and present what you feel to him calmly.

    If he is reasonable, he will listen. Also, most loners don’t conform to the normal morals, beliefs, and lifestyle of any groups, he stays off on the sidelines, this to them feels great. It is difficult to know how they feel about you but I believe with patience he is also human you will get to know how he really feels about you. They enjoy being free and independent, they do best with people who are more self-sufficient and independent too.

    That way you’re too busy yourself to bother them. It is a good idea to leave him alone for a bit once you two are separate. Absence can be a powerful force during the most tumultuous times for a couple. You need your boyfriend to experience his life without you in it. If he is given the opportunity to really miss you, it will help him understand why you are the partner he needs. You can’t accomplish that if you are waiting around every corner for him with hope that he will change his mind and jump back into a relationship with you.I wish you all the best.

     

    You can also send to our P.O. Box: 3419, Ikeja, Lagos Nigeia

  • I’m troubled because I’m in a mixed-status relationship

    Good evening ma, I am 20 and dating a guy whom I just found out is HIV positive and I love him so much. I am just confused whether to leave him or stay with him. The problem here is that we have had sex just once and I am troubled if am also positive. But he is not just coming to me for friendship, he is coming for marriage. Please ma don’t include my number. – TA.

     

    TA, of course, I don’t use people’s real names and telephone numbers; sure you must have noticed that already. That’s that.  It’s too late to cry over spilled milk, you have already had unprotected sex with this guy, so  the next thing should be to ensure you know your HIV status and re-do that after six months. During the period between now and when you do the HIV test again, make sure you are well protected if you must have sex.

    Let’s pray you come out negative. If you do, you would then be in what is generally known as a ‘mixed-status’ relationship. A mixed-status relationship is a sexual relationship between partners with different HIV statuses: one partner is HIV-positive and one is HIV-negative. This can involve a couple in a long-term relationship or a single encounter between two partners.

    Now the question to ask is: is it safe for mixed-status couples to have sex?

    For mixed-status couples, the possibility of HIV infection is a constant reality. There is always a risk, but you can minimize it.

    If you are in a mixed-status relationship and you have sex, you can protect against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections by using condoms and dental dams consistently and correctly. If you are part of a mixed-status couple, it is important that you and your partner communicate openly and often about safer sex practices and HIV prevention. Healthcare providers and local HIV/AIDS organizations can be important sources of information and support for you and your partner.

    As he is the HIV-positive partner in this mixed-status relationship, he can lower the risk of transmitting HIV to you if he is on antiretroviral therapy. Taking all your medications, on time, will help to lower the viral load in his body fluids and decrease the chance that he will transmit HIV to you. But remember, even if he has a low viral load, he can still transmit HIV to you. So it is important to always use a condom and practice safer sex. Talk with your partner about condoms and safer sex practices. If you are very sure you love him and want to remain in this relationship for the sake of love and not just because of the promises of marriage, then  you have the responsibility of  supporting him in taking all of his HIV medications at the right times.

    Help us reduce the spread of the HIV virus. The more understanding and love we show to those who are positive, the more they come out clean about their status and make others aware about the dangers.

  • Building a sound relationship (3)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome, this week, to another exciting time in the presence of the Lord. My focus is still on Building A Sound Relationship. Last week, I unveiled the two types of relationships. This week, I shall be sharing with you some fundamental factors. To build sound and meaningful relationship, certain fundamental factors must be in place. Let us examine some of them here.

    Define the purpose: This is the principal factor that must be in place, if a sound relationship must be built. To everything under the sun, including relationships, there is a purpose (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Whatever relationship you are into, whether with your mates, superiors or juniors, it is crucial and fundamental to define its purpose, right from the outset. Dr. Myles Munroe said, “When purpose is not known, abuse in inevitable.” Purpose is power and relationships thrive on it. Purpose enhances your focus.

    Constantly keep the purpose of your relationship before you. Defining and knowing the purpose of your relationship, will help you to fight and overcome distractions. With well-defined purpose, you are able to know whether you are on track or not. It makes correct evaluation possible.

    Be Sincere to yourself: Another major factor is that you must know, understand and be true to yourself. Remember, you are the principal actor in any relationship you are involved in. So, refuse to play the game of self-deceit! Know, understand and be true to yourself.

    Where knowledge is present, power is present for performance. Where there is understanding, there will be outstanding accomplishments. For any relationship to be outstanding, a good understanding is required. Be practical, be real! Find out your weaknesses and your strength, attitude and temperament. To build sound and meaningful relationships, learn to seek and receive help in your area of weakness.

    1 Corinthians 10:12 says: Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. Successful relationships begin with you. Do not hide from your own flesh. Do not pretend to be super-strong, when you know you are not. A sound relationship is possible when the principal actor, which is you, is sincere.

    Examine your motives: Motive is defined as the reason for doing something. Motives are powerful and they are everything. No wonder, 2 Corinthians 13:5 says: Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith: prove your own selves: know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? Examine your motives; you are the best examiner of your life, whether there is an ulterior motive or whether your motive is pure and godly. Your motive is clearly known and never hidden from you.

    Interestingly, God sees beyond your actions. You may succeed in deceiving man, but can you deceive God? Impossible! So, right from the outset, sanitize your motive, before you enter into any relationship whatsoever. This will make it sound, healthy and rewarding.

    Be a contributor: It is very important for you to enter into a relationship as a contributor, not a burden. What you take into a relationship will determine what you get out of it. Take a close look at Proverbs 27:17 which says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Seek to sharpen and add something to the life of the other party involved in that relationship.

    Don’t keep looking for what to get, what to grab and what to take. What to benefit. Instead, think of what to add and give. Constantly bear in mind the fact that what you make happen for others, determines what God makes happen for you.

    Giving, you must remember is living! So, give, contribute and invest spiritually, materially and otherwise, to the development and growth of the relationships you are involved in. When contribution is one-sided, it cripples relationships. Beware of selfishness! Stop taking undue advantage of people. Refuse to join the company of those who keep sucking life out of others, rather than adding to them. Don’t always sit at the receiving end in a relationship.

    Engage in Constant Evaluation: Constantly evaluate your relationships. In evaluating your relationships, ask yourself: Is this relationship profitable, both to me and to the other person or persons involved? Is it contributing anything to me and the parties involved? Is it leaving me refreshed, energized or is it draining me?

    In a sound relationship, there will always be mutual respect for each other. This means that each person values who the other is. You need to evaluate whether this respect is there or not and if it is, whether it is growing or diminishing.

    Another important area that requires constant evaluation is trust. No relationship at any level for that matter can be healthy, without trust. Evaluate whether there is trust and if it is present, whether it is growing or not. Examine your spiritual walk with God, because any relationship with man at any level, male or female that draws you backward in your walk with God is not godly and does not deserve your consideration or attention.

    The questions then are: is He Lord over your life? Or are you lord over yourself? God must become the Lord of your life, so you must be born again. To get born again, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour.

    If you are ready to be born again, say this simple prayer with me, in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Thank you for saving me. Now I know I am born again.

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name!

     

    Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

    E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Single With A Difference, Building A Successful Family, and Success In Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).

     

  • Solutions to real life relationship issues

    Thought of the week, response from one of our readers:

    If I found out that the girl I want to marry was once a club girl, I will go ahead and marry her if she promised not to go back to “runs” again. So many things do lead most of our girls to clubbing. Again, ladies who are once harlots, when they marry, they are more faithful to their husbands because they have seen it all. I have seen it happen and they have been happily married. -Kevin

    Compatibility Chart:The score of 70 and above is a pass mark.

    •Is he/she your “friend”? [10]

    •Does your heart jump when you see or think about the person? [5]

    •Do you share the same feelings? I.e. Spiritually, Emotionally, or sexually.[10]

    •Do you share the same religious beliefs?[5]

    •Do you come from similar educational backgrounds?[10]

    •Do you come from similar family backgrounds?[5]

    •Do you like the person’s physical appearance?[5]

    •Do I prefer his/her an intellectual compared to their physical appearance?[10]

    •Do I like he/her regardless of appearance or intellectual?[10]

    •In a conversation do we share the same ideas, thoughts, or beliefs?[10]

    •Regardless of his/her previous social background do I still see yourself having a future with him/her?[10]

    •Do I see myself with him/her for the next 30, 40, or 50 years?[10]

    •Knowing that he/she is selfish or self- centered, do I still see myself spending a lifetime with such a person [10]

     

    How to identify selfish men before it’s too late.

    The way women are created is different from how men are created. When a woman is in love, she will do almost anything to please him, to include overlooking the obvious. In most instances, the obvious is that he is selfish as hell and he thinks that the world revolves around him. In his small mind he feels that it is a privilege for you to be with him. The crazy thing about this scenario is that you reinforce this thought process by continuing to overlook the obvious. He is really into himself which most men are! How many women have had men like this in the past or currently right now? The guy who expects so much of you and gives only what he wants in return? Generally, he will do anything for you only to get something in return. I am afraid most of you have a man like that now, and you probably have chosen to ignore it and overlook the obvious.

    Question:I am in a relationship with two guys right now;I like the both of them for different reasons. One is very rich and buys me anything I want but he is not good in bed. In fact, sometimes I believe that he doesn’t even like sex. The other guy is so good in bed that sometimes we are on it for about 2 or more hours when we have the chance. He is a civil servant and is unable to afford much of my needs. The problem now is that my parents are urging me to settle down and bring my future partner to them. Princess, please advise me on whom to choose. – Amiola, Apapa.

    Answer: Dear Amiola, I cannot choose your future husband for you, but I can advise and guide you on how to decide who is best for you. Choosing a partner has to do with character and sincerely. I have put up a compatibility chart, go through this chart and if either one of them score above 70%, I will say stay with that person. In a relationship, both sex and money are very important, but the most important ingredient that I know is love and a good communication skill from both partners. I wish you all the best. Princess

    Thought if the week:

    Would you marry a Muslim guy knowing full well that his religion allows more than one wife? Although he promised to be with you only, how would you feel if in the future he decided to take another wife and broke his promise?

    Question for the female, would you leave or stay with him?

    Question for the male, wanting to you keeps your promise to your wife but loving another woman outside of your marriage, would you forgo your outside love to satisfy the promise you made to your wife, regardless of what your religion says?

     

    Send your comments to:

    askprincess10@gmail.com

    SMS to: 08155558770

  • My relationship with Mike Ezuruonye —Nollywood actress Dayo Amusa

    My relationship with Mike Ezuruonye —Nollywood actress Dayo Amusa

    Actress, producer and scriptwriter Dayo Amusa has earned accolades from fans and colleagues alike. The actress who was spotted at the just concluded Africa Movie Academy Awards (AMAA) spoke with MERCY MICHAEL about her new production which features two prominent Nollywood stars; Mike Ezuruonye and Desmond Elliot.

     

    WHAT informs your dress sense?

    Occasion dictates what I wear, and so is my mood.

    Is it your first time of attending the Africa Movie Academy Award (AMAA)?

    No. It’s not my first time.

    What is your expectation of the award in its ninth year?

    Well, the industry is improving generally, and AMAA is doing well. For the fact that the scheme recognizes what everybody is doing in terms of production, is commendable.

    We get to see few Yoruba movies in AMAA nominations every year. How does this make you feel as a Yoruba actress?

    At least the fact that one or two of them have clinched the award makes me feel good. On the number of nominations, it can only get better. Rome was not built in a day.

    Recently, you featured Mike Ezuruonye in one of your movie productions. What informed that decision?

    Well, I wouldn’t say anything actually informed the decision. He is an artiste; I am an artiste as well, so I believe we can all work together in one way or the other. And considering what I’m trying to portray in the movie, I just feel that Mike would definitely give me what I want. Then of course, having Desmond Elliot to direct the movie is one of the best things that happened to that production. So, I went for what I felt was good.

    I am sure a lot Nollywood buffs would want to know if Mike actually spoke Yoruba in the movie…

    He did. He delivered 90 percent in Yoruba. I know that a lot of people would expect him to speak English because that is the language he is known for in the movies, but getting to know that he speaks Yoruba, fulfilled my expectations about that movie. So, I said to him, this is what I want, this is what I’m paying you for and this is what you are expected to do. And he really did well.

    We have heard some artistes complain that Yoruba film producers use non Yorubas to star in their movie. What is your take on this?

    Well, as far as I am concerned, I have not heard such complaints. And I believe that we are all one and the same in the film industry. So, whether I call an Igbo actor to take part in a Yoruba movie or I chose to call a Hausa guy to take part in a Yoruba movie, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It is the same movie industry.

    Some say you are one of the few artistes who attained stardom on a platter of gold..

    I am hearing it for the first time that Dayo Amusa never paid her dues. For someone who has been in the industry for almost eleven years now, of course I have paid my dues. Well, I could have been lucky unlike some people, but the fact remains that I paid my dues. I didn’t get into the industry and became prominent overnight. I joined the industry in 2002 and this is 2013 for heaven’s sake. I started acting in 2002. I started with Wemimo Films in Ibadan and then proceeded to Lagos.

    What were the challenges you had to face?

    Well, it’s not as if I actually went through any hard time. I’m yet to face any challenges. I did all that I had to do, and somehow producers got to notice me. I don’t think I fall into the league of those who are desperate to reach that height. I believe that slow and steady wins the race. And that has always worked for me.

    Would you say that you decided to be a producer because you weren’t getting movie roles as expected?

    No. Like I said, I joined the movie industry in 2002 and I did my first production in 2006 it wasn’t because I wasn’t getting roles that I went into production. It’s just that I have something to offer to the teaming Nollywood buffs, both as an actor and a producer.

    What’s your biggest achievement so far?

    My achievement has no limitation. The greatest is yet to come

    Was acting what you studied in school?

    No, I studied Food Science Technology at Moshood Abiola Polytechnic, Abeokuta.

    Where did you grow up?

    I grew up in Lagos.

    What’s your take on marriage?

    Marriage is beautiful. It was instituted by God and it is one of the best things that could happen to a woman.

    What would you say is the unique quality that you like in a man?

    Sincerity

    How do you handle advances from men?

    I try to be polite and friendly. I don’t like to be rude to them because some of them are first my fans before the thought of dating me crossed their mind.

    When do you plan to get married?

    That’s left for God to decide and He will do it at His own time. I’m not in a rush to get married. I am not desperate, but I desire it and I have left everything to God. It will surely happen someday.

    What’s your take on divorce and does the high rate of divorce and separation in Nollywood bother you?

    We have actors in this industry whose marriages are stable. And we have those whose marriages are not stable. Married or single, it is important to be up and doing and to be good to the people we meet on our journey of life. But I pray for the best in my marriage, when it eventually comes.

    Are you in any relationship at the moment?

    Yes, I’m in a relationship.

    Tell us about your ideal man?

    My ideal man is a man who understands my job, who can’t be intimidated irrespective of my status in the society. I appreciate a man who can differentiate me from what I do, a man that loves me for who I am.

    How many awards have you won?

    Millions of awards from my fan, every good comment made by my fans is an award.

    Piracy is a menace killing the industry…

    Well, that is a challenge we are facing now. There is no profession without its challenges, so it’s not surprising. However, with all hands on deck and the needed support from government, we shall overcome the problem. It’s just a phase; we will surely conquer by God’s grace.

    What’s your beauty regime like?

    I really don’t have any beauty routine. I take a shower after the day’s work. I try as much as possible to rest properly. I eat good food and drink a lot of water. Sometimes, I go to the spa, but mostly, I relax at home.

  • Building a sound relationship (2)

    Dear Reader,

    It is a great joy for me to bring God’s Word your way today. Last week, I brought you the introductory part of this teaching. I taught on what relationship is and why we need to build a sound relationship.

    Today, I will be teaching on the types of relationships we have. Basically, there are two types of relationships. The first is your relationship with God, while the second is with your fellow men. Let’s briefly examine each of them.

    Relationship With God: Your relationship with God can be considered from three different levels, namely: as your Creator, Father and Lord.

    God is your Creator (Genesis 1:27) and you can relate with Him as His creature. He is the Creator of every living.

    God becomes your Father when you give your life to Jesus, and get born again. God’s Word says: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name (John. 1:12). When you have a personal relationship and encounter with Him, then He becomes your Father.

    However, the highest relationship with God is when He becomes your Lord. He becomes your Lord when your life is sown as a seed in dedication and absolute commitment unto Him. He is only the Lord of those who are ready to say: “Yes Lord” to His will, plan, purpose and destiny. When He becomes your Lord, you can be sure nothing can change His plan and purpose for your life. May that be your portion in Jesus’ name.

    To Develop an Intimate relationship with God, however, you have to consciously, deliberately, intentionally, willingly and excitedly make yourself available. How? Through deep Word study, prayer life and constant fellowshipping with Him. There is no other relationship in life that compares in value, equal or can replace your relationship with God.

    In actual fact, we can safely say that your relationship with God is the only sure foundation for success in every other kind of relationship. It is utterly important for you to straighten up your relationship with God.

    Relationship With Men: The second type of relationship is your relationship with men. The word ‘men’ here is not talking about gender. This is not referring to the male gender of God’s creation. ‘Men’ in this context is referring to both male and female gender of God’s creation. Here, I am referring to your relationship with people. This is in three levels: your superiors, mates and juniors. During your life’s journey, you will definitely meet and need people in these three categories and this is the best time to develop such relationships.

    Your Superiors: Your superiors are the people you draw from. They could be your boss at work, your lecturers in the school or your spiritual parents. These people have the skill you do not have, the experience you do not have and you could climb on their shoulders to see ahead. The truth is: no matter your level in life right now, there are and there will always be, people above you. These are people who can speak into your life, especially when the going seems to get tough.

    My husband, my entire household and I are beneficiaries of this type of relationship. During the time I went through the valley of the shadow of death, this was one of the major areas of strength for me. Senior men in ministry were greatly used of God to stand in the gap, to ensure my total liberty and freedom from the pangs of death. Alleluia, today, I am a living testimony and can boldly say that God is too faithful to fail! He is dependable and He is more than enough!

    Be humble and smart enough to identify your superiors and draw from their wealth of knowledge and experience. This will expedite your rate of accomplishment in life.

    Your Mates: These are either your colleagues at work, in school or people at the level that you are in. These are the people you share with. They could be your friends. The need for you to identify your own company (Acts 4:23) so as to derive maximum benefits from it, cannot be over-emphasized. Remember, if you stand alone, you fall alone. One tree never makes a forest!

    Then, Your Juniors: These are the people that you flow out to, the ones that look up to you as their superior. Wisdom demands that you identify people that you can reach out to. The need to build sound relationship with people at these levels cannot be over-emphasized. No matter who you are or the category to which you belong, you should get involved in these three levels of relationships. You will always have superiors, mates and juniors. Receive the wisdom to build these strongly, today.

    The question then is: Is Jesus Lord over your life? Or are you lord over yourself? God becomes your Father only when you give your life to Him and be born again. To get born again, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour.

    If you are ready to be born again, say this simple prayer with me, in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Thank you for saving me. Now I know I am born again.

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name!

    Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

    E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Single With A Difference, Building A Successful Family, and Success In Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).

     

  • Building a sound relationship

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to another new month in our year of Next Levels. I want you to be rest assured that God is going to visit you this month. All through this month via the Word of God, I will be sharing with you, Building A Sound Relationship.

    Today, I want to start by looking at what relationship is and why we need to build a sound relationship. Relationships are vital to destiny. Your association defines your destination. The relationships you are into never leave you the same; they either add to you or take away from you. They either increase you or decrease you.

    The Word of God says: He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed (Proverbs 13:20). The scriptural understanding of how to build and keep sound, healthy and Godly relationships is very vital in the fulfillment of destiny.

    To relate means to connect. It means to contact and interact. To relate means to be involved in or with; to connect, to interact, to link up and to be involved in. Therefore, relationships can be defined as the way in which two or more people connect. A sound relationship is one that is free from defect, decay, damage. It is a relationship in good condition. It is unshakable, healthy and valid. These are the kind of relationships God expects you to get involved in.

    Why Relationships?

    In order for you to build relationships that will positively influence your life, you must have a full knowledge of the reasons why God wants us to be involved in relationships. There are two basic things that you must understand here: First, God by nature is involved in relationships. The Bible says: For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one (1 John 5:7). There is a powerful relationship between the Godhead, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that these three are one. That is, they agree in one. This is a vivid picture of God’s relational nature.

    In the Garden of Eden, God related well with Adam, before the fall of man. Out of His relationship with him, God knew that Adam would need a helpmeet for the work in the garden and for companionship. Also, on the day they ate the forbidden fruit, He came in the cool of the day to see to their welfare. God believes in relationships and He Himself is into strong relationships. If He is involved in relationships, then, it is necessary for us to also get involved.

    Second, Man is created to relate. Genesis 1:27 says: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Man is created in the image of God; therefore, he is expected to relate and connect. Nobody can ever live successfully in isolation. We all need one another. You need people to help you get to where you are going in life, no matter what level you find yourself. You cannot live in an Island of your own, no matter who you are.

    Every part of the body works and relates together (Ephesians 4:16), so also you are created to relate. In actual fact, man is created to be inter-dependent and that includes you. God made man to …dwell together… (Psalm 133:1).

    To effectively build a sound relationship, being born again is the only sure foundation. To be born again, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour.

    If you are ready to be born again, say this simple prayer with me, in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I believe You died and rose again for my sake. Forgive me of my sins, take over my life, make me Your child and let Your peace reign over my life. Thank you for saving me. Now I know I am born again.

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name!

     

    Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

    E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 07026385437; 07094254102

     

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Single With A Difference, Building A Successful Family, and Success In Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).

     

  • Abia CP calls for harmonious relationship in fighting crime

    THE commissioner of Police in Abia State, Usman Tilli Abubakar, has called for a harmonious relationship with the general public in order to achieve a better result in the fight against insecurity.

    Abubakar, during his familiarisation visit to the Aba Area Command, maintained that the Inspector-General of Police’s commitment in maintaining a harmonious relationship with the public must be pursued vigorously, stressing that “it is only being professional and being civil while carrying out our official duties that will help us achieve such feat.

    “Being civil with the public does not mean you should not do your work as a police officer when you notice that the person has contravened the law,” Abubakar posited

    He advised them to acquaint themselves with the Police Code of Conduct handbook in order to be guided while discharging their professional duties as police officers.

    CP Abubakar further cautioned men and officers of his command who indulge in all kinds of illegal duties to desist from it, warning that anyone caught in the act would be showed the exit door as the police force have a zero tolerance to any act capable of tarnishing their image as well as jeopardising their relationship with the public.

    Earlier in his welcome address, the Aba Area Commander, Dayi, described logistics as a major challenge facing the command, calling for the repair of the barracks that is over 50years old with some of the structures already dilapidated.