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Tag: Relationship

  • Are you in a relationship that feels like it may be over? Do you feel it’s time to move on? (2)

     

    To see reality as it is, see the actions as they are and let them speak for themselves. Actions ultimately speak louder than words.

    1. When he/she is causing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.

    Physical and verbal abuse are definite no-no’s. There is clearly something wrong if the other party abuses/hits/curses/swears at you, no matter how he/she tries to make up for it later. Even if it may be the spur of the moment, the fact that he/she lets slip in that moment shows there is something deep inside him/her that needs addressing.

    Emotional hurt is trickier. A lot of people negate emotional hurt because it’s not visible. Ignore it, and it’s not there. But emotional hurt is hurt all the same, if not worse. The wounds that are hardest to heal are the emotional ones, not the physical ones.

    1. When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.

    Once might be a coincidence. Twice, you might want to give another chance. But 3 times is a clear sign something is wrong. I finally realized nothing was coming out from the relationship between G and I after our loop played out the third time. Each time, I did what I could to make it work out, but it always stopped at the same end. It was more than enough evidence that this was the end.

    Do you find yourself in replay mode in your relationship? Do you keep landing in the same situation, the same scenario, the same outcome, time and again, no matter what you do? If so, perhaps you need to accept this is the furthest the relationship can get to. You can keep pressing on, but it’s a matter of time before it sinks in that there’s nothing further to go. This is the end of the road. There is a future for you and him/her, and this relationship isn’t the route to that future.

    1. When he/she puts little to no effort in the relationship.

    Every relationship requires effort by the duo. The same applies for familial bonds, friendships, mentorships and most definitely love. Both of you have to commit to the relationship together. If you are constantly the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you. You have to give more and more just to keep the relationship afloat. Unless this imbalance is addressed, it will only become bigger and bigger over time. Soon you sink your whole self into it, losing yourself identity in the process.

    1. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.

    For any friendship or relationship to work out, there has to be certain similarity in fundamental values. Similarity in these values are the big rocks which will hold the friendship in place. Even if other things are dissimilar, the big rocks will enable the friendship to weather through even the toughest storms ahead.

    On the other hand, if your core values are fundamentally different, it doesn’t matter even if everything else is the same. The journey to keep the relationship together will only become an uphill battle. It’s just like trying to hold the soil of the ground together in a heavy rain. Without the roots of the tree to hold this soil together, everything will just slip away against your best efforts.

    1. When the relationship holds you back, hence preventing both of you from growing as individuals.

    A relationship is ultimately a third entity formed due to two individuals. Every relationship evolves based on how both parties are growing. Sometimes both parties grow at the same pace. There are times where the relationship is one of stagnancy, where both parties don’t grow. Then there are times when one outgrows the other, by a large margin.

    When this happens, you have two options (i) change the dynamics of the relationship to fit this new development, or change yourself  to maintain the same dynamics. It’s more important to first be true to ourselves. Determine who you are and who you want to be, then decide if this relationship is one that is compatible with you. A relationship that hinders you from growing into your own isn’t the best one for you.

    11.When you stay on, expecting things to get better.

    This is similar to #1, except it pertains to the future. Just like how you don’t live in the past, you don’t live in the future. You can hope that the future will be better, but the fact is you live now. If the only thing that’s making you hold on is the hope of a better future, the relationship isn’t exactly built on solid grounds. The future you wish for is one of the many possibilities that can occur, a possibility that may never come to reality. It’s dangerous to base the fate of the relationship on something that might not occur. A building built on a shaky foundation will crash to an unsightly end when the foundation gives way.

    1. When neither of you feel the same way about each other.

    Things change. People change. If the feelings are no longer there, it’s time to move on. Some of you might linger on in a relationship even though the feelings are gone. Perhaps it has become part of your routine and you don’t know what to do once you break away. Some of you continue on because the relationship still serves certain functional purposes, such as companionship.

    Yet, a relationship without the mutual feelings is like a body without a heart. There’s no soul or life in it. If you no longer have feelings for the other party, staying on is doing the other person an injustice. More importantly, it’s doing you a huge injustice. It’s best for him/her and you to part ways so you can move to better places.

    If the other person doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, holding on to him/her only drags out the misery. Realize that “True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” Just because you love the person doesn’t mean you have to be with the person. True love exists outside of the physical fabric of a relationship. This is just a form of expression of love, but in no way is the single definition of love.

    • Source: www.lifehack.org

  • Are you in a relationship that feels like it may be over? Do you feel it’s time to move on? (1)

    Almost a decade ago, I was stuck in a “relationship” which was leading to nowhere. The reason why I say “relationship” with the quotation marks is because it was like a pseudo-relationship where I was led on to think there would be something more when there never was. I thought the guy was my soulmate, but he isn’t and it took me a while before I realized that and finally moved on.

    While moving on was painful and took a while, I’m glad I did that because it led me to eventually meet my real soulmate, whom I’m getting married to at the end of this month.

    If you’re in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere, perhaps it’s time to move on. Below are top 12 signs to know when it’s time to move on from a relationship. While written with romantic relationships in mind, these signs apply to friendships as well.

    1. When you live in past memories more than the present.

    Do you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it? Do you use them as reasons to continue on with him/her? If so, it’s a sign your current relationship isn’t how you want it to be. The more we live in the past memories and/or a self-created future, the more we are living in a self-created reality. This is dangerous since it’s not reflective of the actual state of the relationship.

    Remember your relationship with the person exists in the current moment. Not in the past. Past memories should remain as memories and not as a reason to stay together. Your decision on whether to stay with the person should be based on your current feelings for him/her, the actual state of the relationship and the future you see with him/her.

    1. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.

    Sometimes, we tend to be blinded by the past happy moments of the relationship. To the extent we forget about all the unhappiness it brings us. If your relationship leaves you frustrated/upset/unhappy more often than not; If your relationship is leaving you in tears every so often, perhaps this might not be the right person for you. The relationship you are in now should be one which brings you happiness now. Just like #1, if the main source of happiness of your relationship is from past memories, something is amiss.

    1. When he/she expects you to change.

    The truest form of love is one that’s unconditional. Your partner shouldn’t expect you to change, unless it’s for your well-being (such as to quit smoking or to adopt a healthier diet). Some of my friends had ex-boyfriends who wanted them to change, such as to dress up more often to look prettier or to lose weight when said friend was of healthy weight. There was even one who actually suggested my friend to shave her arm and leg hair because he felt it was a given for girls!

    1. When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.

    The above applies for the other person as much as it applies for you. If you are staying on / getting into the relationship expecting the person to change, you are in this for the wrong reason. You are trying to change the person to fit your expectations, rather than accept him/her as the individual he/she is.

    Even if the person does changes, soon you will have something else you want him/her to change. You will never be fully satisfied with how he/she is. The worst thing is, if the other person isn’t conscious, he/she will keep changing just to fit your expectations. In the end, he/she will just end up being your shadow.

    This happened between my ex-best friend, K, and me. While we were not in a romantic relationship, some issues we faced in our friendship are probably similar to what others face in their romantic relationships. Through our friendship, I began to see him as an extension of me, rather than as a separate individual. K did not have a very strong self-identity at the time, so unfortunately he kept changing to fit what I wanted. In the end, he became my shadow. After 10 years of friendship, we had to part ways, because it was the better path for us to grow as individuals — for him to grow into his own, and for me to grow into my own as well.

    1. When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself.

    Whenever we experience a situation we’re uncomfortable about, we experience cognitive dissonance. It refers to the discomfort from being faced with something that conflicts against our beliefs. When this happens, we try to come up with explanations, justifications so we can feel good about the situation.

    This if we feel the need to justify an action, that means we are uncomfortable with the action itself and we want to explain away the discomfort. The danger behind this is that the explanations are self-created and may or may not be true. If you are repeatedly justi fying his/her actions, the relationship becomes built on your rationalizations, rather than the reality. Likelihood is that you are living in your world of false assurances rather than the truth.

    Back in 2005, I had an ambiguous relationship with a guy (the same one I mentioned in the article opening; let’s refer to him as “G”). Since he would behave in a way that was more than a friend would to a friend but yet not move the relationship forward, I would think of different reasons to justify why nothing was happening. Maybe he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he was shy. Maybe he wasn’t sure of what to do with the relationship. Maybe studies was his priority. Maybe I should take the first step.

    However reality was he wasn’t taking action. Everything else was just made up in my mind to fill up the gap between this reality and my expectations. By creating all these justifications, I had unknowingly created a mental jigsaw which I had to slowly peel away in the later years.

    To see reality as it is, see the actions as they are and let them speak for them

  • Seven things guys do when they still love their exes

    Seven things guys do when they still love their exes. If you’re inclined to think your boyfriend might not be completely over with his ex-girlfriend, there are probably several reasons for your suspicion.

    Maybe you’ve found him weeping while looking at his phone, mumbling, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Maybe he’s calling out her name in the middle of the night, or, even worse, has mistakenly called you her name. Maybe he still has one of the shirts she left at his place and you’ve caught him sniffing it.

    More likely though, it isn’t a completely egregious and blatant relationship violation, but something subtler that indicates he’s not quite emotionally ready to be dating at the moment.

    “If your new boyfriend is constantly talking about his ex, spending time on the phone with her, meeting up with her (without including you), comparing you in a way that makes you feel less than her, these all point to the possibility of him still being connected to her in some way,” says Jane Greer, PhD, sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.

    In other words, if your boyfriend is doing any (or all) of the below, there’s a chance he might still be holding a candle for his ex-flame.

    It’s not exactly fair to expect him to completely shut his ex out of his life—unless she’s very clearly still warm for his form—because that’s not cool. But if they’re talking all the time it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he still has feelings for her. “Either he feels guilty that he left her, or he isn’t over her,” says Greer. “He’s still remaining overly involved. If this is the case, talk to him about whether he’s really ready to be in a new relationship with you.”

    Sure, maybe they salvaged a platonic relationship—or maybe he’s keeping in touch in case things don’t work out with you. Dudes occasionally view exes as safety nets.

    We’d probably all be better off not following our exes on the Facebook, the Instagram, and the Twitter—especially when they post hot selfies that we still drool over. But a complete digital freeze-out isn’t always something a guy wants to do. You see, a block or unfollow can create post-relationship drama, and it can also make things even weirder when you have mutual friends.  However, it’s still a red flag.

    It’s completely understandable if he’s a little bitter, but if he’s saltier than #SaltBae and going out of his way to talk about how much she sucked, sound the alarm. He might be trying to remind himself why he’s not with her in an attempt to convince himself he’s better off.

    He’s going ham on this relationship constantly hates on her

    There’s this thing some dudes do when they want to get back at their ex. They go into competitive mode by unofficially racing with their ex to see who can get to #RelationshipGoals status first. This is a match you don’t want to win.

    If he’s constantly saying things like, “My ex never appreciated American sssPickers like you do!” Or “She always texted other people while we’re at dinner.” Head for the hills. It may sound like a compliment, but he’s just comparing you to her. And you should run.

    He keeps that custom T-shirt she made for him

    That inside joke about Taylor Swift was probably hilarious back in 2013, but at this point it’s just awkward for anyone who see’s it. He should have gotten rid of it, given it back to her or, like, lit it on fire. However, Greer says people often keep mementos from past relationships for the memories, so it’s not always a sign he’s not over his ex—but it could be. Have a chat about the reason he feels the need to hold onto these memories, says Greer.

    Generally when you break up with someone, you stop hanging out with his or her family. But if he says he’s still tight with his ex’s parents—despite the fact that he “doesn’t talk to my ex at all.” We’re going to go ahead and get real: There’s probably part of him that hopes this keeps a connection between them. Though it is possible that he’s past his ex and just likes some of her family members, says Greer. Maybe it’s worth discussing as your relationship gets more serious.

     

  • 10 signs your relationship isn’t working (2)

    SOLUTION: Become more comfortable with yourself. The root cause of jealousy is almost always insecurity. What this means is that the only way you can stop it on your end is to be more comfortable with yourself. Stop projecting your own insecurities onto the other person. Focus on the good things in the relationship. Stop thinking you can read her mind. This can disrupt the feedback loop causing constant jealousy in your relationships.

    Reasons to break up: You can stop it, but she can’t.

    Relationships are made up of two people, but you’re only ultimately responsible for yourself. Here, you can only lead by example. If she can’t leave her jealousy behind (which could take months, not days or weeks), it’s time to start looking at making the painful choice to end things.

    1. One or both of you is bored

    Boredom is almost inevitable in relationships if the relationship lasts long enough. It is easy to settle into a routine and routines and boredom go together like peanut butter and jelly. The question isn’t whether or not boredom is going to happen; It’s how you’re going to deal with boredom when it does happen. With one in five women breaking up because they missed being single, you need to take boredom seriously.

    Solution: Do something new and exciting together.

    “New and exciting” is super open-ended, which is the good thing about it: Maybe it means you take a trip around the world, maybe it means you take a dance class together. The point is that you need to introduce novelty into the relationship. It’s not that hard to do. In fact, the hardest part will probably be deciding from among many options.

    Staycation: Go rent a hotel room and party all weekend.

    Explore a new city: It doesn’t have to be far away or exotic. It

    just has to be somewhere you’ve never been before.

    Do something you’ve never done before: Again, it doesn’t matter if it’s bungee jumping or eating sushi; The point here is to do new things together.

    Reasons to break up: Boredom isn’t the real problem.

    Sometimes we think boredom is the problem, but it’s really not. The real problem is something else — anything else. It’s only when we begin addressing the problem of boredom do we realize that there was something else there.

    1. Your sex life isn’t what it used to be

    Much like boredom, your sex life hitting the skids is almost a certainty. That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it; It just means that you have to accept the inevitability and be ready for it. So what’s the cure for a sex life that isn’t what it used to be?

    Solution: Try new things in the bedroom that maybe you’ve only talked about.

    This can be anything from tantric sex to taking a BDSM workshop. It really doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you two need to have a frank conversation about your sex life. Note that it doesn’t have to be — indeed, should not be — some serious “relationship talk.” These types of conversations work best when they’re a sort of flirting. Make it fun, not heavy.

    Reasons to break up: You’re just not into the same stuff.

    You can have a meaningful connection, but if you’re on two totally different pages when it comes to sex, neither of you are ever going to be happy. For a sexual relationship to prosper, you need to be pleasing her and she needs to be pleasing you. If you’re still not sure if you two are right together, sexually speaking, try taking this sexual compatibility test over at Psychology Today.

    1. One of you is always trying to change the other

    No one likes it when someone else tries to change them. It places stress on both of you and thus, the whole relationship. Not only does it cause stress, it can also cause resentment and resentment is toxic. So if one or both of you is always trying to change the other one, what do you do?

    Solution: Accept that the other person is who they are and demand the same.

    Men and women are not the same. Both of you need to accept this. You shouldn’t demand that your girly-girl girlfriend enjoy your poker nights any more than she should accept that you like shoe shopping. In fact, our differences are what make sex and dating so exciting. If you wanted someone you could control you’d be with yourself. Let it go. Accept them for who they are.

    Reasons to break up: One of you can’t let the other person be themselves.

    Start by asking yourself if you still love her. If the answer is “yes,” do you love her but not think she’s right for you? Why not? Was she right for you when you first got together but now one or both of you has changed?

     

    Source: theartofcharm.com

    To be Continued

     

  • ‘Help! I’m like a stranger in my husband’s house’

    “I’m a young lady of 23. I got married to my husband at the age of 20 while still in the university and i don’t have kids yet.

    As a young girl i grew up with the mindset that all i needed in life was to get married to a rich man and I’m good.

    However, as i grew older i realized that i wanted more out of life than to be a rich man’s wife.

    I want to pursue my dreams and career. My marriage on the other hand is just full of one issue or another.

    I’m not happy 95% of the time. The only advantage in my marriage is that i have comfort.

    My hubby does not support my ambitions, he feels my only ambition in life should be to help him achieve he’s.

    He doesn’t let me in on whatever plans or decisions he makes.

    I’m like a stranger in my home because most times i usually hear things about him from outsiders or when he’s on the phone.

    He doesn’t even trust me. He is very insecure and it scares me because he’s violent.

    He used to hit me although I’m not totally convinced that he has changed for good. He always wants to make trouble when things don’t go his way.

    Read Also: ‘My girlfriend has gotten fat, my feelings are dropping’

    He’s very controlling and abusive so much so that he made me believe that I’m nothing without him and i became depressed and suicidal at some point.

    My hubby is very rich yet we haven’t had any sort of wedding whether traditional, legal or religious.

    The only thing he did was just traditional rites and payment of dowry. And not a single document has my name on it, not even the cars i drive. He cheats and never takes responsibility for his actions. Oh! And he has a son with another woman. We have totally different views on almost everything.

    Despite being married to a rich man I’m poor. He’d rather provide whatever i need than give me the money.

    There’s a whole lot to talk about but let me stop here.

    Here’s the issue, I’ve left this guy three times in d past and he comes back begging with a truckload of promises which he hardly fulfills, and every time i go back to him because i love him and I’m willing to make it work and also because I don’t believe in myself enough to succeed on my own.

    I’m so confused .”

     

     

    You can also share your story with us @info@thenationonlineng.net

  • Over 2000 youths to converge at 2018 RECALP summit

    … RECALP to intellectually spur attendees to action on various fields of life

     

    The Young Adults and Youth Affairs of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Lagos Province 19 has announced date for fourth edition of the Relationship, Entrepreneur, Career, Leadership, Politics (RECALP) Summit.

    The Summit, which is scheduled to hold on May 29, 2018 at the Redeemed Christian Church of God Lagos Province 19 Auditorium in Ogudu, will serve as platform to equip the new generation of leaders and stimulate attendees, mostly young people to align with plausible steps to attain their life goals.

    The Chief Host, Pastor Bisi Olowoyo, who is Pastor-in-charge of Lagos Province 19, said that over 2,000 young people are expected to be in attendance, while a lot of viewers are expected to join the Summit online.

    Olowoyo described RECALP as a carefully designed platform to stir-up the creativity, talents and skills in the young people.

    Speaking on the Summit, the Convener and Provincial Youth Pastor of Lagos Province 19, Femi Aminu said that RECALP has evolved over the past couple of years from merely a youth summit where young people network to a brand that sows and nurtures ideas of true leadership in the minds of young leaders.

    “The initiative is to provide a forum where young people can be intellectually stimulated and challenged to take charge in the focus areas of the Summit,” Aminu further said.

    RECALP holds every May 29 to coincide with Nigeria’s Democracy Day celebration.

    Also commenting on the Summit, Pastor Akin Akinboboye, Pastor of the Berean Youth Church, disclosed that Rev. (Mrs.) Funke Felix-Adejumo, President of Agape Christian Ministries, Dr. Charles Apoki, Founder of Petra Ministries and international conference speaker in several denominations and Mr. Adebola Williams, the co-founder of Red Media and StateCraft Inc as well as the co-author of the book “How to win elections in Africa”; are among other speakers at the Summit.

    Pastor Akinboboye added: “The RECALP Summit provides practical anecdotes for five very important aspects of human life namely: relationship, entrepreneurship, career, leadership, and politics. Our faculty has been carefully drawn from a select pool of distinguished and reputable individuals who actually walk their talk.

    Pastor Segun Odewunmi, the chairman of RECALP and pastor in charge of Restoration worship center also disclosed that “The Summit has so far enjoyed a relatively wide coverage with a total cumulative attendance of circa 2,000 and a growing online audience from all over the world.

    “Our young leaders – both as part of the live audience as well as those that would be joining the summit from across the world via different online streaming platforms are therefore assured of value for their time.

    “This is because our faculty this year are true success stories from the lens of the youth. We have a harmonious blend of time-tested practical wisdom in relationship and entrepreneurship on the one hand, and the youthful success story in career and leadership on the other.”

    Meanwhile, the Conveners said that attendance at the five-hour summit is free and interested youths can register online at http://www.recalp.org/

  • Advice for women: Sex is food

    SEX IS FOOD!!!!!!!

    Sex is not all about making children. You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Seduce your husband, don’t always allow your husband to ask for Sex, there must be no timetable for sex.

    Be creative, don’t be predictable. Give him what he wants. If you loose influence over your husband, you have lost womanhood. Be part of your husband plans.

    Don’t have too many children, you wanna sell them ? Allow your husband to check in and out anytime.

    When a man is sexually satisfied, he is emotionally stable. Stop saying, is it food ? Yes, sex is food !!!

    Read Also: ‘My dad threatened to disown me if i ever legalise my marriage’

    Pamper your husband, put his head on your chest and pray for him. Give him unannounced kiss from the back…. mwahhhhhh, don’t be too holy to kiss in the public.

    He is your husband for God sake. Be romantic joooo, it is good for the heart. Some people are not happy that you’re happy in that marriage, proof them wrong that you love him and he is your crown, always feel good when you hold him. Don’t look 50 while you’re still under 40, it drives men crazy.

    Always keep fit regardless of your age or body.

     

    You can  share your relationship stories with us on  info@thenationonlineng.net

  • ‘There is a relationship between toxins, infertility’

    ‘There is a relationship between toxins, infertility’

    Mart-Life Detox Clinic founded by eminent medic Prof Oladapo Ashiru and his wife, Idowu who turned 65 years old over the weekend is five years old. OYEYEMI GBENGA-MUSTAPHA reports on clinic’s achievements.

    Mart-Life Detox Clinic is five years old.

    Tucked in the serene Shonibare Estate, Maryland, Lagos, people, especially infertile couples, throng the clinic to manage their health challenges, without taking drugs, but natural therapies.

    Speaking on why he founded the clinic, its Chief Medical Director (CMD), Prof Oladapo Ashiru, said after doing Invitro fertilisation (IVF) for years, he discovered that some patients could not get pregnant. That led him to start the pre-implantation genetic diagnosis.

    “So, my team and I ended up giving patients embryos that are genetically diagnosed as normal. Meaning, the embryo are not the problem.”

    So, what is the cause? Ashiru attributed it to something in the mother or in that group of embryos. That is how the toxicology field came about. “So, we start detoxifying the mothers, because there is something in them that is not allowing the implantation in the mother. We started measuring things in the mother called immune pannier (immunological testing for any level of anti-bodies in the mother.”

    He said there was IgE (Immune globin E) with allergies, and intolerance. It means the woman has some things that have created allergies or intolerance. Allergies mean you have taken something that does not go well in your system e.g. cashew nut, pea nut, some oil that cause rashes. There are various levels and grades of these allergies.

    Food allergy occurs when the body mistakenly makes an antibody (IgE) to fight off a specific food. When the food is eaten recurrently or, in some cases, it comes in contact with the skin, it triggers an immune system response, which results in the release of histamine and other substances in the body. For instance, in milk allergy, when the body has made antibodies to milk protein; it causes an immune reaction when you drink milk. Your immune system mistakenly treats the proteins found in food as a threat.

    So, Mart-Life was set up to remove such toxics from the body like heavy metals – lead, titanium, mercury (mostly found in people that take meat, shell fish or black fish) or arsenic from not properly cooking rice, or aluminum foil/wrapper that can result in the ingestion of aluminum. All these are toxic to the embryo.

    “At Mart-Life Detox Clinic, we help identify food allergies and intolerances with the use of our bioenergetic test, which detects and specifies whether a person is fructose, lactose, histamine or gluten intolerant. It also helps to determine the food generating allergy and intolerance.The bioenergetic testing uses Interfacing Resonance Analysis Technology.

    “We set out with tools to detoxify using body-detox, colon – hydrotherapy, and avant-garde lymphatic drainage. We drain all these heavy metals out of the body. When we are through with these women, they lose weight; look better and finer and fit for conception. They go back to the Medical Centre and take the residue embryo that are frozen, and that are not as good as the first ones that were initially transferred, and they yield results,” Ashiru said.

    Ashiru said any couple, regardless of health, must clean his body before conceiving. For the incoming embyo is an important guest. This is a new field in infertility.

    “Pesticides, paints, sprays, petrol, affects embryo. So, if a grandmother is exposed to pesticide before getting pregnant, she can transfer the effects to the second generation of her lineage. I recommend that people that work in oil and gas industry should detoxify once a year. To remove the toxins from their body. Also, a lot of imported food affect conception. Likewise big weight, hypertension all play huge roles in conception,” he explained.

    He advised that any one who wants to live long should detoxify once a year, 10 days to two weeks or on the average a day in a month to detoxify.

    “People can get toxins from food. Like rice that is not chewed very well. Food is supposed to stay in the mouth for one minute to 90 seconds, depending on what you are eating. Soups should be in the mouth mixed with saliva for 30 seconds.  Meat without chewing can stay in the body for one month and ferment that can lead to cancer like colorectal cancer.”

    Ashiru continued: “We are created in for a reason. The food is provided by the Almighty. “For instance, as a nation, we are wasting a lot of natural resources on wheat import. The Whites planted more food that they needed and go ahead to African countries with large population to cause troubles.

    During crises, they exported those wheat and milks freely, for 10 months yearly. This is because those excess foods are destroyed in their countries.  After a year, they would have settled the crises. Within that one year, Blacks have acquired that taste, and the food is then part of us, leading to importation. Ninety per cent of Blacks have lactose intolerance. Seventy per cent have gluten intolerance. A lot are becoming fructose intolerance because they are eating imported apples, and grapes. These lead to serious diseases because these two foods are alien to us. Creating various things, such as heart pressure, food intolerance. This is a fact. Do you know how much that can be saved alone, from wheat importation?”

    The clinic’s Managing Director Mrs Idowu Ashiru said: “After the biogenetic test, the patient is advised to start an exclusion diet, which excludes the food that gives them allergies and stress. The patient is instructed to stay off the intolerant menu for three months.

    ‘’After this time he or she can introduce the food slowly into the diet and eat it occasionally, not more than once  weekly or once every two bi-weekly.

    “Usually, most people can tolerate eating these foods sometimes without bringing back the negative symptoms. However, frequent consumption of them will bring back the signs.  Individuals will need to establish their tolerance threshold. After weeks or months of not eating the food, you may start eating the food again without getting adverse reactions.

    ‘’At this stage, an individual can tolerate the food and maintenance depends on frequency and the quantity that he or she can establish. Food hypersensitivity is purely individual. So, working this out and not restricting the diet beyond what is necessary is significant.’’

    She added: “Our strength is based on long-standing research, scientific and clinical publications and international collaborations with the reputable Viva-Mayr (Mayr modern medicine) of Austria, the bio-identical Sabre Sciences Laboratory, and Nutrivital Bioenergetics. We have combined all these modern technologies and customised them for the African environment  to provide an outstanding, cutting- edge, reliable and reputable holistic healthcare and medical spa.”

    What were the challenges when the clinic took off?

    Mrs Ashiru said she and her husband founded the centre when she turned 60 , five years ago, and happy it is running well: “Power generation remains the first and huge challenge because of the high-tech machines we work with. Another is the mind set of Nigerians. Most do not believe they can get standard health care at affordable prices here.

    ‘’Some prefer to travel out spending foreign currencies on accommodation, medical treatment, fares, without actually getting expected results. But here, testimonies abound, and they are pretty surprised at the affordability and the outcomes.’’

  • I’ve no relationship with “Third Force” –AITEO CEO Peters

    I’ve no relationship with “Third Force” –AITEO CEO Peters

    Frontline businessman, Mr. Benedict Peters, yesterday denied social media reports identifying him as a major sponsor of the evolving political movement, the Third Force.

    Peter, the Chief Executive Officer of the Nigerian energy conglomerate AITEO, declared in a statement that he is not  “a financier of the said organisation or any socio-political partisan association or political party in Nigeria or anywhere else in the world.”

    He said that as an international businessman of repute, he has “deliberately stayed away from politics preferring, instead, to focus and give my all to the development of my business interests across the African continent.”

    He added” Neither I, my immediate family or companies in which I have interests, would embark on the sponsorship of a movement which is unknown to us.

    “This would be crass, irresponsible and inconsistent with the commercial prudence that a businessman of my accomplishment would consider.

    “To, therefore, name me as a financier of such a venture is not only vile and callous, it is insensitive and inconsiderate.

    “It is a sad reminder of the length that some people, manipulating the malleable, depraved and downright dishonest elements of the media, can go (for reasons best known to them) in their despicable and contemptible attempts to continue to pitch me against the government of the day in Nigeria!”

    He said the authors of the report were only out to malign him and former Chief Olusegun Obasanjo by premising the rumour of their relationship, which according to him, spans over 30years.

    “I confirm that I know the former President very well,” he said.

    “He is like a father to me.  He was a friend of my father, the late Chief F.B Peters and has a relationship with my family that dates back over 30 years.

     

     

     

  • Nigerians charged to build bridges for quality relationships

    Nigerians charged to build bridges for quality relationships

    Nigerians have been enjoined to build bridges as this will help in finding common ground for robust relationship and conflict resolution among them.

    Speaking at the maiden edition of TEDx Mende Women Conference which was tagged “Yes, We Can Build Bridges” and held at G.R. A, Ikeja, Lagos, Senator Tokunboh Ogunbanjo, a lawyer in his address emphasized the need for people to identify and promote practice and policy that will create strong and closely coordinated partnerships and collaborations between families, youth, community and the society.

    According to Ogunbanjo, all hands must be on deck to advance partnerships among residential and community-based service providers, youth, and families to improve lives.

    Bridges in the words of the Curator of the Conference, Florence Atunwa Olumodimu, are links which as individuals, we build, transverse and sometimes even burn for better or worse. “When we support each other, then we start to build bridges. For this to occur, we must see each other as equals”, said Olumodimu.

    In her topic titled Women, Disability and Invisibility, Uri Ngozichukwuka, pointed out that any form of disability is the same; hence we all have disabilities in one area or the other. “However,
    disabilities are not liabilities; there is need for us to build bridges of empathy. If you cannot see ability in someone, that in itself is disability,” she said.

    She therefore enjoined people to assess people based on their ability.

    Domestic Violence according to the Executive Director, Project Alert, Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, knows no bound, it cut across age, religion, educational background and it can either be physical or emotional. For domestic violence to be totally eradicated, Chukwuma said there is
    need to engage men as mentors and role model adding that not all men are abusive.

    In her own words, the former Director General, Nigeria Tourism Development Corporation, NTDC, Sally Mbanefo, urged working mothers to create time to mentor their children by creating positive character bridges in them.

    According to Mbanefo, the purpose of building bridges could be to provide an escape from poverty to prosperity, from sickness to health, among others, hence the need to build strong character bridges.

    TED is an annual event that brings together the world’s leading thinkers and doers to share ideas that matter in any discipline — technology, entertainment, design, science, humanities, business,
    development. The talks at the conference, called TED Talks, are then made available to watch for free on TED.com. In the spirit of “ideas worth spreading,” TED has created TEDx, a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. TED is a global community, welcoming people from every discipline and culture who seek a deeper understanding of the world.

    TED believes passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and, ultimately, the world.

    TEDxWomen brings together a global community of people interested in exploring how change begins: with innovative thinkers who catalyze ideas toward action. Over the past few years, TEDWomen and TEDxWomen have launched some powerful ideas into the world.