Tag: wife

  • Imoke’s wife lifts Destiny Children

    Imoke’s wife lifts Destiny Children

    My name is Abigail and I play the violin. I have no one to look after me; so, I roam the streets of Cross River. Perhaps someone out there will help me. If they don’t, my destiny will be cut short, my talents wasted and I may never get to play the violin.”

    But, for the intervention of Obioma Liyel-Imoke, wife of the state governor, Abigail and over 100 street children in Cross River would have had no future.

    October 11 2009 marked a transition, an exodus of at least 54 despondent street children, in Calabar, the state’s capital, to a much more comfortable environment where they would finally fulfill their purpose in life. Their name was changed from Street Children to Destiny Children.

    But, it did not stop there. That same year, a fashion show was organised, by Obioma, whose name means, “Heart of Gold.” The fashion show tagged The Destiny Child Charity (DCC) Fashion show, which combines the best of music, culture, talent and fashion serves as a fundraiser for the upkeep of the Destiny Children. Here the children paraded alongside professional models and artistes. The Destiny Child initiative was taken to Atlanta, United States where Mrs Liyel-Imoke was the special guest of honour.

    “We key into this vision,” says Geoffrey Teneilabe, Nigeria’s Consul General to Atlanta. “What Obioma Liyel-Imoke is doing is innovative; she’s taking the rejected and downtrodden in our society and giving them life again. This is the first of its kind in Nigeria. We will encourage her every step of the way, and the Good Lord will give her the strength. We also pray for the means to sustain this laudable project.”

    “Our special guest has tirelessly served women and children in her community over the years. She is ably represented here this evening hoping to mobilise others to rise to the challenge of helping in our individual communities and communities worldwide,” said Norma Jean Martin, Founder, A Fashion Affair Inc, organisers of this landmark event.

    The wife of the governor, represented by the Commissioner for Social Welfare and Community Development, Patricia Endeley, gave insights into the child abandonment situation in Cross River State and in Nigeria.

    “Child abuse is not only on the rise but gradually assuming epidemic proportions. It has also been described by experts in the field as a hidden epidemic because most cases are largely unaccounted for.”

    “In Cross River State, two peculiar dimensions that are linked with a high incidence of child abuse are unwanted adolescent/teenage pregnancies and the child-witch phenomenon (a.k.a. the child-witch syndrome).”

    Though giant strides have been taken to alleviate this menace, Obioma acknowledges that the obstacles are huge. “We all will agree that running a charity organisation and projects of this magnitude are not devoid of challenges. Some include highly capital intensive and specialised nature of the residential care services for the DCC housemates; few skills options given to the beneficiaries of DCC due to inadequate funding; inability to purchase equipments/tools for DCC housemates trained on vocational skills to begin their small businesses and thus reduce level of poverty in their families; inadequate/lack of information about families of some DCC kids to enable family integration for existing housemates.”

    The DCC initiative is also garnering momentum with other stakeholders in the State of Georgia. Abby Ebodaghe, President of the Nigerian Women’s Association of Georgia (NWAG), at an event, said: “We’ve been in existence since April 2000. Our purpose is to empower women, youth and children in Atlanta and in Nigeria. We support 10 orphanages in 10 states in Nigeria including the FCT, and hope to extend this to two more, which may include the DCC.”

    The event tagged Afro Caribbean Splendour, which held recently at the prestigious Holiday Inn Dunwoody Atlanta, could be best described as a combination of the finest of Nigerian and Caribbean talent. It featured internationally acclaimed professional models as well as celebrities such as musician and songwriter Kenny Gilkes, jazz artist Andrew Lawrence, Adaeze Eluke, Carnival Calabar Queen 2010 and the current Carnival Calabar Queen Nancy-Olive Aisaghonhi.

    “We have faith that because MACA’s steps have been ordered to meet the right people here, we will collectively mitigate these challenges with your support, said the Wife of the Governor.”

    “I am proud to be associated with this event, I remain forever grateful to A Fashion Affair for taking our campaign to the next level and look forward to forging stronger links ahead,” she added.

  • My mother introduced my wife to me –Nollywood actor Kenneth Okonkwo

    My mother introduced my wife to me –Nollywood actor Kenneth Okonkwo

    Since he acted in Living in Bondage, Kenneth Okonkwo, famously called Andy, has stayed true to his craft. Though his career once suffered a lull following his crashed marriage and quest for more knowledge, the veteran actor came back bigger and better with Dumebi the Village Girl. Ever since, his profile has been on the rise. In 2013, he was honoured with the AMAA Recognition Award for his contribution to Nollywood.  In this interview with MERCY MICHAEL, he talks about his marital life and career, among other things.  

    You come across like a very blunt person, are you?    In my family, they would tell you that if I have a problem with anyone, they can pass judgment once they have heard my own side of the story. Anything you say that is contrary to what I say is a lie. That is the truth and I wouldn’t say anything that will favour me. I will say it just the way it is; and then, I will apologise where necessary. So, that is just the kind of person I am. The truth is the truth. Yes, it may hurt sometimes, but when you tell the truth, you have done your best. Even if someone gets mad at me for saying what I said, he or she will come around. But unfortunately, there are situations in which by the time they come around, you would have moved on.

    It is said that you charge as high as N2m per movie. Could you react to this?

    Well, I wouldn’t want to discuss my fee because you are being unfair to me. You don’t go and ask a civil servant how much he or she is earning. But the fact remains that from Living in Bondage Part 2, I have been earning what I love to earn. It is satisfying; it is just good enough because we are in Nigeria.

    By next month, I will be due to make a movie, Eye of the Eagle, in the United States. It is a very fantastic story and you will fall for it.

    Is it a Nigerian/Hollywood production?

    Yes, Nigerians are involved. Basically, it is by a Nigerian over there and he wants to do a collaboration work with Hollywood. So, that is why we are going to do it there.

    You’re one of the best actors in Nollywood. So, what are those qualities that stand you out?

    Should I not allow you to answer that (Laughs)? If you put it to me, I will say thank you for saying nice things about me. But I think it is basically the grace of God. There is this thing about charisma, which is a gift. I’ve seen a lot of actors and actresses who act very well, but are not being liked. You see, likeability is different from the acting and I think that’s a gift. I think the grace of God contributes a lot to entertainment. You see, before Living in Bondage, Nigerians would not even want to be patient enough to watch a local movie. I went to one video shop and the man had this inscription: “No local video is allowed here”. But immediately Living in Bondage came out, though we didn’t even advertise it, it was like there was an outcry. People were rushing to buy it. And with all due respect, it was the story of my character from beginning to the end. So, you can see the likeability. The real first one that came out was not subtitled. But Hausa and Yoruba people wanted it subtitled because they loved everything about it. So, we had to take it back to subtitle it. Likeability! So, that’s the grace of God, working in its highest form. And I’m grateful to God almighty for that. What can I do?  What can I say? I didn’t contribute anything to the way I look or the way I talk. I didn’t go to any school of Theatre Arts. But I always carry myself into any movie and I am just accepted. That’s the grace of God. Then, do you know the secret of my success? I read a lot, think a lot and work a lot! That’s what Henry Ford told the businessmen who wanted to be successful.

    So, when you are not on screen, what do you do?

    I read a lot and I’m a born-again Christian now. I wasn’t a good guy from birth. So, that helped me also to cut out a lot of frivolities and I keep praying to God that I fall not into temptation. Also, I pray that ladies do not lead me into temptation because the beautiful ones are coming out every day! You don’t just need prayers only, but you need to do the biblical injunction too.

    At what point did you become a born-again Christian?

    It was in 1994. You know, when you think that material things, fame and fortune will make you happy and God deposited all these things in you, yet you are not happy, then, you just know that there is a vacuum.  God must be interested in me. The story of my salvation is determined by the God Almighty. I just knew that truthfully without Him, I can’t do anything.

    Do you have any regrets regarding your past life?

    No! I don’t have any regrets about the things I did. When I was doing them then, I was enjoying it; so, I have no regrets. I thought I was having fun.

    You are very stylish. What informs your style?

    I think by nature, I’m just stylish.

    Though the way you walk is stylish, I think it is not natural…

    The truth is that, if not that people are saying it, and everybody is saying the same thing, I would have argued that it’s not true.  That is the way I’ve always walked from day one. As a matter of fact, at times, I try too hard not to walk that way. But once my mind gets off it, I just return to it.

    You must have a lot of admirers. How do you cope with your female fans? 

    What can I say? I just try to be nice to them.  I relate to some of them as very good friends.

    How do you handle the persistent female fans?

    How are you sure that there are persistent ones (laughs)? Hmm! One of the best things that God made on earth is the woman. There is something about them. They know more than we think. They know the sincerity of your heart. When you’re very honest to them, they will see the real thing God has deposited in them. Some of them may feel hurt when you say no, but they will understand, especially when they know that you mean it and your standard is the same for everybody. And that initial feeling of hurt will transform into big love, respect and truth. When you get your act right with women, you will know that they are the sweetest things on earth. If you start messing with women, you can only have one at a time and eventually it will limit a lot of things for you. But when you’re good to them, without asking for anything in return, you have all of them at a time. Women have a way of contributing to a man’s success, if they know you are genuine. And so, I’m having a very good relationship with them now. But, at the initial stage, it was bumpy. However, it later became beautiful.

    How has marriage helped to stabilise you?

    Since I got married, I have not had carnal knowledge of any other lady. But I have been very close to it. But with Jesus Christ helping me, it has not happened.

    Since when?

    2007.

    What do you love most about her?

    She’s very beautiful and very brilliant. She also understands me. And more importantly, she loves me very well.

    Sorry to take you back, you must be a strong man not to have played ‘side-betting’ since 2007…

    (Cuts in) For what ‘side-betting’ is (pauses)… But you know, as an actor, she understands. I don’t count the ‘peripheral’ thing that we even do publicly, but I mean the real thing.

    Are there not times that you guys act to things and you get some feelings for the person?

    You get used to what you are a professional in. It is like asking a doctor, ‘Don’t you get tickled?’ Doctors are even closer than us.

    Every chance you get, you celebrate your present marriage…

    (Cuts in)The only thing I’m going to say is that this is the real time that I have a privilege to settle down with a woman and marry her. This is really the first time that I can tell you that I settled down in a marriage made for two of us without any third party.  As a human being, I have very soft spot for women. That’s known. I have not brutalised any woman since my adult age and the facts are there. So, anybody telling you that I brutalised anybody is telling you a lie. But I’ve always told people that I am not going to put my neck for my enemy to cut it off. I have said it before and I am saying it again. If you leave at the mercy of your enemy, you are simply making your enemy merciless. So, the mere fact that I have not placed my neck for anybody to cut it off does not mean that I have anything against anybody.

    How do you reconcile the fact that you are born-again and you are divorced?

    I don’t want to go into that. But there is nothing contradictory about it. Any relationship that you get into that is made of more than one person, the destiny of that relationship does not lie in your hands alone. That’s why we are men. We are not God. And I’m not the kind of man who wants to live a lie or live in lie. A lot of people are separated and are doing certain things, but they will come out and pretend they are not doing anything. I know myself. I know the limit of what I can sustain and with my profession. So, I know I can’t stay alone for a long while without really messing up. You know the Bible says that it is not good for a man to be alone.

    So, how do you cope now, since you are always on locations?

    What does it take? If I’m in London and I feel so, I can fly in, see my babe and fly back to location (laughs). At times, I would be on location and after a while, I will scream, ‘Hey! Hey! I just have to go home. I don’t know how my body is feeling.’ I’m that straight forward. I will announce it in the public. And if I don’t run that time, something will happen.

    How did you meet her?

    She is from my place. You know what? This is the truth of how it happened. It was my mother who introduced her to me.  My mother sat down and said to some people: “If there is anybody who should have a problem in his marriage, it should not be this boy. I can vouch that this guy is a Christian and a born-again one.” So, when my mother saw this lady and she knows my ‘spec’, she called me and said she had seen a lady I would marry. My mother is a very fashionable and beautiful woman. I was like, ‘Me?’But she wasn’t aware of it. And I’m like, this one that my mother is talking like this. Then, she started enticing me, telling me about her physical attributes and so on. Then, I got interested. I called her and the rest is history. I talked to her in a manner that she just couldn’t let me go. She has been known in my town as a very decent lady. My mother has eagle eyes; and since I’ve been with her, it’s been bliss.

    But you were not born-again when you were married the first time?

    I was. I got born-again in 1994 and I got married 2000. I can tell you another thing: from the time I got born-again till I got married, I didn’t have a carnal knowledge of any woman. And that’s me. When I am here, I am here. That doesn’t mean I don’t get tempted; I do. But I have told you the secret. When I can’t hold my body, I run away.

     

  • Pastor Madubuko awaits baby from new wife?

    Marriage has many pains; celibacy has no pleasure,” noted the late British writer, Samuel Johnson in a fit of introspection. The late writer admitted the inconveniences attached to marriage even as he rued the cheerless moments that result from staying unmarried.

    Perhaps buoyed by similar notion, Pastor Anslem Madubuko has decided to remarry after the death of his first wife. Pastor Madubuko recently wed Connie, a Kenyan beauty and gospel artiste. His new wife, according to sources close to his family, is reportedly pregnant with his child.

    Sources at the Pastor’s church told Celeb Watch that the Kenyan gospel singer turned pastor’s wife has been showing with telltales of pregnancy in recent times. The duo had their traditional wedding in Kenya in August 2013 and followed that up with a church wedding in Nigeria the following month.

  • Fayemi, wife bag Lions Club’s highest award

    Fayemi, wife bag Lions Club’s highest award

    Ekiti State Governor Kayode Fayemi and his wife, Bisi, are to receive the highest honours of the Lions Club International – the Melvis Jones Award- for their “selfless service to humanity”.

    The Melvis Jones Award is bestowed on people of impeccable character, who have impacted positively on the society.

    In a letter to the governor, the Eko Lions Club, a branch of the Lions Club International, said Fayemi has boosted the standard of living of Ekiti people.

    The letter was signed by the Projects Director of Eko Lions Club, Mr. Oluwadare Abimbola.

    The club said Fayemi did not disappoint the electorate, adding that he has proved himself to be a political leader who is “civil, amiable, courteous, respectful, yet principled, firm and resolute in his commitment to the oath of office he swore to uphold”.

    It said people-oriented programmes executed by the Fayemi administration, such as free health care services for children under five years, expectant mothers, the physically-challenged and the elderly; and the social security scheme for the aged, have made life easier for Ekiti people.

    The letter reads: “Your achievements in many fields, despite the fact that Ekiti receives second to the least funds from the Federation Account, recommend you as a prudent manager of resources and someone driven by the passion to leave your society better than you met it.

    “Of particular interest to us as a public-spirited organisation committed to the uplifting of the helpless and downtrodden in the society is your heart of gold, from which flows the milk of human kindness, like the ageless, never ceasing Arinta Waterfalls and the Ikogosi Warm Springs, both of which, incidentally, are in your domain.”

    The club said Mrs. Fayemi complemented her husband’s developmental efforts through the activities of her non-governmental organisation, the Ekiti Development Foundation (EDF).

    It said EDF’s donation of cash to women groups and children’s homes, school bags and instructional materials to pupils and food items to beneficiaries of the Ekiti Food Bank have reduced poverty, adding that her support for women and the girl child has improved their lot.

    The club described Mrs. Fayemi’s establishment of Ekiti Soup Kitchens in the 16 local government areas as “innovative”, adding: “We dare say that Erelu Bisi Fayemi is one governor’s wife who has added to, rather than detract from, the honour and integrity expected of those in leadership positions.”

    The date for their investiture would be announced soon.

  • My wife is like iced fish due to her dryness in bed

    Dr., please I’m having serious problems with my wife. For about four years now, I no longer enjoy sex with her. We sleep like strangers on the same bed. Naturally, she isn’t the romantic type and she is like iced fish in bed because of her dryness. I have to force her before she uses gel and even during her ovulation period, she doesn’t bother about sex and the annoying part is that every little thing, she gets angry. She’s full of complaint, finds it hard to listen to others and upon all, we are yet to have children. We have done all tests available and nothing is wrong with both of us. I’m sick and tired of this and I don’t want to cheat. Please advise.

     

    My brother, I keep saying on this page that I’m not a medical doctor. Okay, maybe you people want to confer on me an honorary doctorate degree. That will make me ‘Doctor of Hearts’; that’s nice.

    Now to serious business, there are three fundamental issues here and all together are enough to make a man have doubts about the ability of the union to withstand the tests posed to it. Let me attempt to touch them one by one. You will however need to book an appointment for counseling.

    Vaginal dryness during intercourse: Normally, the walls of the vagina stay lubricated with a thin layer of clear fluid. The hormone estrogen helps maintain that fluid and keeps the lining of the vagina healthy, thick, and elastic. During menopause however, the drop in estrogen levels reduces the amount of moisture available. It also makes the vagina thinner and less elastic. Apart from menopause, estrogen levels can drop from childbirth and breastfeeding, radiation or chemotherapy treatment for cancaer,

    surgical removal of the ovaries, anti-estrogen medications used to treat uterine fibroids or endometriosis. Other causes of vaginal dryness include allergy and cold medications and certain antidepressants, douching, lack of enough foreplay before sexual intercourse. No matter what the cause, vaginal dryness can be extremely uncomfortable. It can lead to itching, burning, and painful intercourse.

    The most common treatment for vaginal dryness due to low estrogen levels is topical estrogen therapy. Topical estrogen replaces some of the hormone your body is no longer making. That helps relieve vaginal symptoms, but it doesn’t put as much estrogen in your bloodstream as oral estrogen hormone therapy (HT). Most women use one of two common types of vaginal estrogen:

    Vaginal estrogen tablet: You use a disposable applicator to insert a tablet into your vagina once a day for the first two weeks of treatment. Then you insert it twice a week until you no longer need it.

    Vaginal estrogen cream: You use an applicator to insert the cream into your vagina. How often you apply the cream depends on the brand. This is applied every day for the first two to four weeks and then one to three times a week.

    Trying for a baby: This is one factor that may be giving room for tension in the home. You need to address it squarely. Since you are trying for a baby, I know a very good drug that may help with conception and at the same time increase cervical mucus because cervical mucus helps sperm survive and travel from the cervix up to the uterus and fallopian tubes. A lack of quality fertile cervical mucus can make getting pregnant difficult. It may also be a symptom of another problem that may be causing infertility.

    Still talking about achieving pregnancy, you may need to talk to a doctor friend of mine who specializes in that area.

    Her attitude: Until I see both of you together once or twice, it would be hard to judge if her attitude is right or wrong or if you are the one not understanding her enough. A woman doesn’t have to agree with everything you say if she has points of her own that differ from yours.

  • The odd that forced me to marry a younger wife – Eddie Iroh

    The odd that forced me to marry a younger wife – Eddie Iroh

    Eddie Iroh, no doubt, has left a mark everywhere he has worked. Some of the places where his name still re-echoes are: The Guardian Newspapers; the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) and Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria (FRCN), where he was the Director-General, among others. A chummy happy personality, he returned to the country a few days ago from the United Kingdom where he has his ‘young family,’ and decided to share with us his present lifestyle, in this interview with PAUL UKPABIO. As usual, the writer-novelist is downright frank, and a reporter’s delight. 

    You’ve been outside the country for quite a while now, how do you feel being back at this time?

    The first thing I feel is the weather. I’m coming from a low degree climate. But Nigeria is home. Home is not always the way we individuals want it to be. But then no place is. What is important is that we have opportunities that we can make it the kind of home we will like to see. When you have been abroad, when you have seen the 21st century as I have, all you wish for your country is the best. All you wish for your country is that it ought to be offering no more excuses after 53 years of freedom. We ought not to be blaming the British for anything, absolutely nothing, should we blame the British for.

    After amalgamation they ruled Nigeria for between 46 years. So we have had 53 years of our own situation. I feel happy to be home, to look at things that can be done and hope that they will be done. Many of them are do-able. In the 21st century, if you can’t fabricate it, you can borrow it. If you can’t manufacture it, you can buy it: If you can’t do any of those, then Google it. There are no new miracles. The modems, the modules and the models are there. So that is how I feel when I come back. I hope that we are aware that there are opportunities for advancing our nation.

    Would you like to share with us what you have been doing in the UK?

    In the true sense of the word, I should be retired. My family is there. That is where I came from to serve in government in 1999. That is where I have a roof over my head. I don’t have a home in Nigeria: Sad and surprising as it may be, to some people. But more importantly, my family is there. My children go to school there, the state gives them care, compassion and commitment. Britain is a welfare state. The children get education free, at least until the university, and unless they are in private school. We all get free and comprehensive medical services, and that includes us their parents.

    These are the important things, especially for someone like me who have a young family. And when you do, you want to nurture them in the best way possible. UK is where they were born. That is home for them. It is possible to have two homes just like it is possible to have dual citizenship. We have two homes, especially for them. I am forever reminding them that they are people of African descent, that they are British citizens by birth. Nobody can tamper with that. They are natural born British citizens; you can’t deny them their rights.

    There will be racism; there will be discrimination in every society and in every facet of life, but there are laws that make it a criminal offence for those children to be denied in anyway because of colour. You can’t legislate against prejudice because it is in the heart of people, but discrimination openly displayed is against the law and no one is allowed to do that. My children are aware of this, and I constantly remind them that they live in a society where you have every right to be, but your blood flows all the way from Africa!

    How African are your children?

    Oh, they are Africans because we’ve raised them as Africans. I tell them that the proudest thing they can show to an outsider is that ‘we do not do that in my home. We do not do that where we come from.’ They do not use swear words. They respect their elders in the manner that most British white children would not. It is the way we raise them as Africans that they will take to the wider world. The school cannot raise them as Africans, because the school is not African. UK is a multicultural society, but what my responsibility is as a father, and my wife’s responsibility as a mother, is to raise them as Africans because we are both from Africa.

    But make no mistake that they are at the same time truly British. This duality of culture is good for them to face the challenges of the future. And mind you, not all values and cultures from Africa are right or good. My wife is always insisting on that. But those that are positive, we encourage and nurture.

    But how do you keep yourself busy?

    When I get consultancy work, I do it. But I am working on a book that I call my magnum opus: my great work. I think there is a need to capture Nigeria in its entirety, from Independence to modern times. The story of Nigeria has not been told. We tell them in chapters, in pockets and in segments, in interviews. Alas we do not have a culture of writing memoirs. Those who have ruled Nigeria still owe us a full account of their stewardship. The civil war, military rule, formation of political parties, these are important segments. But I am interested in a whole and a holistic book, possibly to capture both the troubles with Nigeria and the opportunities of and for Nigeria; the aspirations and possibilities for Nigeria.

    Is it going to be a narrative?

    Yes, it has to be. It is not going to be fiction. You see, nobody has captured the Nigerian psyche. What is it that makes a people who are so blessed, so endowed but so unable to forge ahead and maximise the opportunities that God has blessed and spoiled them with?

    When you are out abroad, what do you miss about Nigeria?

    I don’t miss the cooking because we cook Nigerian foods there too (laughs). I miss the vibrancy of the Nigerian society. Britain, like many older democracies, is settled in their ways. They are stable in their democratic practices. They do not have problems like election rigging. If there are some cases of election malpractices, they are immediately isolated and thrashed. So there is no drama, like someone saying ‘Oh I was rigged out.’ That is what I miss. You know, people saying you rig me, so I out-rig you, rice for rice, stick fish for stick fish you know, that kind of uniquely Nigerian debate.

    Of course, it is not healthy. But I am just being facetious. But seriously I miss the vibrancy of the Nigerian political scene. I miss the contest of ideas, I miss the way we are constantly talking, constantly seeking, and constantly challenging ourselves. What I do not like about challenging ourselves is that, if I am in government today, anything you say is wrong in Nigeria, I take it personally that you are attacking me. Nigeria is more than any single person. Nigeria is 53 years of many governments, many achievements and many failures. We are part of what is wrong with Nigeria. We are part of the failings and successes of Nigeria. I dislike the fact that every criticism is personalised.

    In the UK, criticism is seen in its objective context. It is seen as somebody who wishes their nation well. But I do miss the intellectual ferment of ideas among the journalistic elite. We have so many problems to face and so on, so we are constantly talking. I enjoy that a lot because I believe that modern problems are solved not by constantly seeking answers but constantly elaborating the question. And the Nigerian questions are plenty and complex.

    Can you compare the lifestyle here and that of Britain?

    I find that the British are spoilt. The Americans are a little bit more suspicious of anybody who takes too much care of them. From their foundation as a nation, they do not trust single authority or one powerful central government. The limitations of the federal authority in America are very set and clear in their constitution. But the British have been spoilt over the years since 1945 when the welfare system came into practice.

    The welfare system takes care of you from cradle to grave. In every aspect, pregnancy, birth, nurturing the baby, mother is given maternity leave; father is given paternity leave all fully paid, depending on which of them is working. The midwife will come and look after the baby from birth and keep monitoring the baby. At a certain stage, you are given various children’s allowances for the baby; and if you are taking that baby to work and putting him in a crèche, the state pays. These are people who are so spoilt that every little thing un-settles them.

    I say to them come and live in Africa and see life in its dynamic, challenging nature. They are very spoilt. Look at them, everybody is crying about flood, Americans are crying about snow, if it happens here, we’ll just have to deal with it. We do not have the facility they have for emergency repairs and emergency fire-fighting. Yet they are moaning, complaining and I say to them come and see where I come from, this thing will be seen as a blessing! It’s good to look at them complaining about things that we take in our stride. So that is the contrast of the two societies.

    Have you developed new hobbies?

    My hobby is reading. I like to walk. In Facebook, for instance, I wrote that my hobbies are walking and talking. I like to think that I am reading enough, but I know I am not. I have a second family, and they are young, it is exciting. Therefore, I have to make sacrifices that it entails. But I enjoy being a father, ‘a young father.’

    Let’s share some of your experiences as a multi-faceted journalist?

    Now, you are talking about a life, generations that traverse military rule, civilian, democracy and different shades of governance. When we founded The Guardian Newspapers in 1993, we all had columns that we wrote. After about three years, I got tired of being Managing Editor. I wanted to return to the mainstream journalism to do what I enjoy to do, that is, reporting, editing, and so on. I got sent to UK as the Regional Editor for Europe and North America. That enabled me to return to core journalism and I enjoyed that. I got to UK in August 1985. I went there, took over a column called London letter. It was being written by Ken Mckenzie. The first piece I wrote in the first one week attracted the anger of the late General Tunde Idiagbon, who called the publisher Alex Ibru and he said tell ‘Eddie Iroh that because he is in London doesn’t mean he can attack us.’

    And what was the attack? I had simply said that Kamuzu Banda, who was then the President of Malawi was the longest serving president in Africa at the time, and his age was a state secret. And that if you said something like that in Nigeria under the then decree 4, you would be in trouble. The decree was totally unabashedly against the press to curb press freedom. I was in the dock at the trial as representative of Guardian Press Limited which was the non- person and the third accused at the trial of Tunde Thompson and Nduka Irabor.

    If Guardian Press was a human being, I would have gone to jail with Tunde and Nduka. They were found guilty at the tribunal. That represented the most horrendous abuse of press freedom in the whole history of Nigeria because the issue that provoked decree 4 was totally harmless. But we have put all that behind us now. And one of the things that I commend Nigeria for is that, I do not see in the history of this country any need, compulsion or excuse for us to return to that era ever again. It is more important that Nigerian leaders and rulers should bear in mind that in any action they take, that they should not give anyone any opportunity to interfere with our democracy, which is still very young and fragile. If our leaders remember that, it will help.

    Nothing ever is new, we have split the atom, and we are not going to re-split it. Just consider that George Washington, the first president of United States, was not a scholar, he was an ordinary farmer. He was not a political scientist, but he nurtured a new democracy. And most of the things he did at the time have guided American democratic growth today. How was he able to do it? He didn’t have two heads, just one like the rest of us. That is the way I measure my person. If you put me here to sweep the streets of Abuja and you put another person to sweep too, both of us with equal equipment, if he sweeps better than me, then I have clearly conceded that he is superior to me. Without saying it, he will know that he is superior to me. That is the way that we people of black colour, Africans who are looked down all over the world, should think of our challenges.

    Let us not make any pretences about it. If you find the ‘oyinbos’ at home, they joke about us and laugh at us. Some African rulers have remained in power for 30 years. What new things can they bring? Clinton walked away even though he was very popular and is considered a successful president. But he didn’t try to change the constitution. He said when he entered the White House; he began to prepare for the day he would leave the White House. That kind of discipline, when we are not able to show it, we are saying Mr. Clinton, you are superior to me.

    Look at what longevity did to Libya and Egypt, it damaged them. They did not encourage succession. Just like Charles De Gualle used to say in France, ‘After me there’ll be catastrophe. I am the state.’ Nobody can be the state. A state is a state. You serve the state, you move on. But Africa hasn’t recognised that, and it embarrasses us when we are abroad and people like Bongo and Mugabe are wheeled out in a wheel chair. And they are running for election. But then we look at the Late Mandela, the Madiba and we say, thank God we have one person who can do things in a different way.

    Has your style changed, now that you are in the UK? Do you get stuck with suits or do you wear our traditional clothes?

    The traditional wear is appropriate to our weather, not just our culture but our occupation. When I was in office here, Friday and Sundays, I wore traditional. In UK, that will be inappropriate. The day I wore a white kaftan to church on Sunday, everybody came to me and ask, ‘are you a priest?’ I’m not there to promote that; I am an African. As Wole Soyinka said, ‘a tiger does not go around proclaiming that its tigritude.’ They can see that I am an African.

    At your present age, how will you like to describe yourself?

    I am a lot more mature, a lot more sober. I used to be tempestuous as a young man. Even when I was not so young, I used to bang the table in the office. I am easily frustrated by people who cannot think quickly. I am easily frustrated by people who make a heavy weather of simple task. I am more sober and statesman-like now, a word which is not reserved only to politicians. I enjoy mentoring young people.

    What has been your joy being a novelist?

    I enjoy writing and benefiting, commercially from my works. Amazingly, the first deposit I paid for my home in the UK in 1986 was from ‘Without a Silver spoon.’ It sold well abroad, and I got the kind of money that a writer in Nigeria could possibly not get at that time. It was a major achievement in terms of commercial satisfaction. A writer doesn’t write just because he wants to make money out of it. It was a story that I felt I needed to tell. When God has blessed you professionally and personally, it is important not to forget where you are coming from. I don’t believe I’m lucky, I say I am blessed. To come from one little village and reach the pinnacle of my profession, only God could have done it.

    You had other publications

    Yes. When I finished my tenure at Radio Nigeria, what I did was to go back to my computer to write a sequel to ‘Without the Silver spoon.’ It’s called ‘The banana leaves.’ It dealt with a different facet of the life of the character. Some people think there ought to be another book to complete the story of this young village boy. But I haven’t thought about that yet. Before then I had done a trilogy on the Nigerian civil war. Unfortunately, Heinemann, the publishers no longer produced the African Writers Series. But there is my intention at some point, if I can find the resources to revise, reproduce and reprint the trilogy as one book. I pray to God that I do that someday. That is if I could get a grant from perhaps the British Council, The Arts Council in the UK or some other agency. The civil war trilogy is ’48 guns for the general,’ ‘toads of war’ and ‘siren in the night.’ The first one dealt with those who fought the war for money, the second one was the civilian-Nigerian Biafia equivalent of the mercenaries. For them, the war was an opportunity, rather than crisis. Then the third was the consequence of war, no victor no vanquished. Yes, it sounds a good slogan. But in the real sense of it, right up to this minute, Ibos are still suffering for the civil war. Today somebody said that his regret is that Emmanuel Ifeajuna, the first black African to win a gold medal, when he won the high jump in Canada at the Commonwealth Games in 1954, was never given a national honour. That’s because he fought in Biafra. In spite of forgiveness, there are those who felt that these people are too dangerous, so they had to use stealth methods to deal with the matter.

    You’ve been in broadcasting, what do you do think of broadcasting in Nigeria now?

    We have gone passed digital now, we are into digital audio broadcast. Today you cannot say that Radio Nigeria is not allowed to broadcast beyond Nigerian borders. That door that limited them is obsolete. I was able to put in on the internet before I left. You can get Radio Nigeria today anywhere in the world. So it has moved on. Television too has to go digital. In the UK, if I miss a programme, I digitally access it. If I want to record a programme every week, I programme it. If I miss some segment of the news, I can do a rewind. Just press a button and it goes back like in video recording. If we are not aspiring to do things like these, then we are not in business, whether we are a commercial, state or national station. My people say if you do not know how to eat roasted palm nut, leave it alone. We cannot be old fashioned in this age because constantly, technology is being challenged. I commend TVC, the station is an inspiration for us to see that there is a television station coming out of Nigeria to us there in UK to know what is going on. And they are as balanced and professional as they can be. India has about six channels on the Sky platform. China has 6 or 7, while South Africa has about 2 or 3. If we are going to be competing, we had better compete on their terms and TVC comes close to that, very close to that. If you are in this business, better be the best you can.

    Now that you are here, do you miss your family?

    Even to come out here was wahala. They were saying, ‘Daddy you are going away again?’ You know, they are young. And we are a close knit family. I use to tell friends that even if you put us in Buckingham palace, you will always find us all in one room. We are close, we are Africans. From my first marriage, I have three children who are grown up, live and work in Austria where their mother originally came from. They are a part of me; if they have any problem, the first person I imagine they’ll call is ‘dad.’ Yes I miss my family in the UK. Their mother is of Nigerian origin, but her own mother is American. Her father is Edo.

    The trend among the rich seems to be marrying younger wives when they grow much older. How do you cope as a much older husband?

    I didn’t marry two wives; my first marriage broke down because my father-inlaw did not approve of an African marrying his daughter. He made it clear from the beginning. He worked at it and eventually succeeded. I wouldn’t marry two wives. I am a Catholic. I don’t know if I will go to hell if I marry two wives, but the teaching of my church will not allow it. With all due respect to all women, one wife is enough problem (laughs)! A lot of women too will say that one husband is enough problem. We didn’t have any long running problem, the father just kept the pressure. And because she was compliant with her father, the marriage broke down.

    Are you enjoying your much younger wife?

    My answer will be disrespectful of the women of my generation. But the truth is that, there are not many of women in my generation to marry from. At the time I was again forced into the ‘marriage market’ not by choice, but by circumstance, the only way to marry my age group would have been to go and take somebody’s else’s wife (laughs). There are not many women who are in the age bracket that I am expected to relate to. On the other hand, you see younger women who have finished school waiting for challenges. You run into them and because of my nature and life, I do not do ‘oga.’ I was raised by ‘white people’ who treated me as an equal. I regard folks like that. Maybe the way I related to her, she didn’t feel the age difference. Though she said too that she always wanted to marry an older person. I cannot speak for other people.

    Is it easier to live over there with that kind of marriage than here?

    The pressure over there is a domestic one. My wife has been transformed by the British society. In Abuja here, she was only able to drive one or two kilometers, and I used to be worried that she might get into trouble. So I used to tell the driver to follow her. Today she drives 20 kilometers everyday to take the children to and fro school. She has been able to cope with the stressful demand of running a home and looking after children. She has also shown the kind of strength that I didn’t know she had. She was about 25 then. She has also gained by recognising her inner strength. But here she would be putting up her feet and somebody will cook and clean. Over there, she has to do most things by herself. She doesn’t allow anybody to iron her kids’ uniform for her. There are things she doesn’t assign to anybody. I come in sometimes to assist her wherever I can. I cook quite often. I enjoy cooking. I take out the garbage. Somebody has to take it out and the council will take it from there.

    These are things that ordinarily Eddie Iroh would not do. But I do them with pleasure. First it supports my family; secondly, it brings out the human side of me. It makes me more human, humane and humble. When you consider that there are people whose job it is to carry out that garbage every day, and put it in the truck and dispose of it. Bringing it out of your house should be a small matter. I think it is much easier to live there if you do not feel like ‘oga’ (big man). When I cook, I serve; I clear up and wash up. When she cooks, I also help. I am happy and I believe she is, in spite of the pressures of life.

  • Council chief’s wife donates to the poor

    The wife of the Chairman of Kuje Area Council of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Mrs. Hannatu Shaban, has donated wrappers, food items and cash to orphans, widows and aged women in the council.

    While distributing the items, Shaban said the gesture was part of her efforts to alleviate the suffering of the less-privileged in the council, even as she noted that there are people in the council who cannot feed or fend for themselves who need assistance from government.

    She assured that the council will carry people along, adding that the well-being of orphans and other less-privileged individuals would be given a priority.

    “The essence of this gathering today is to show the less-privileged ones love and affection and to let them know that they are very relevant to the society. We are aware that these categories of people are often forgotten during celebrations and festive periods. That is the reason we need to show them love and affection.

    “I consider them as a very important segment of the society, a conviction that motivated me to encourage them. I urge other privileged Nigerians to consider the less-privileged in the society by rendering assistance to them,” she said.

    Mrs Shaban further said skill acquisition programmes would be introduced for women in all wards in the area to make them productive and useful to themselves and the society. She called on private individuals, corporate organisations and civil societies to show love and care to the less-privileged people.

    Speaking on behalf of the beneficiaries, Mrs. Shekwolo Shetu, from Kwakwu Ward in Kuje, expressed gratitude to the wife of council chairman for the gesture, promising to invest the money given her in a small-scale business.

    She also urged the authority of the council to build a befitting market to enable women to sell their goods, which she said would improve the economic situation of the council.

  • Benin chief, in-laws on war path over wife’s murder

    Benin chief, in-laws on war path over wife’s murder

    On the evening of December 10, last year, Chief Lucky Osawaru had a meal with his wife, Bridget, before she left for her pharmacy shop. It was at her business place that suspected kidnappers struck and took her away. A ransom of N1.5m was paid to secure her release on December 18 but it was her corpse that was given to the family on December 21. She was found dead at Okhuahie Bridge along the Benin-Agbor express road. The death of Bridget in the hands of her abductors is generating friction between her family and her husband.

    The family is accusing the husband and his sister, Adesuwa of masterminding the kidnapping and subsequent killing of their sister. After the killing of Bridget, her husband was arrested and detained for 15 days. The release of the husband sparked a protest march by the family who accused the police of doing a shoddy investigation. Late Bridget was married to her husband, a chartered accountant, for 25 years. They had three daughters and the eldest is 18. Six years ago, the husband informed the wife that another woman had twins (boys) for him outside wedlock. This, the family said, did not go down well with their late daughter who insisted on paternity test on the children since the husband allegedly has low sperm count from series of medical investigations. Mother of the deceased, Helen, who joined in the protest called for a thorough investigation into the killing of her daughter. She said Osawaru had not visited the family to inform them of what happened to their daughter. In a petition addressed to the AIG Zone 5 and signed by F.E.Oberabor, the family called on the AIG to take over investigation of the matter with a view to ascertaining the real cause of her death.

    According to the petition, “their daughter wanted to have more children for the husband but was unable to because the husband was confirmed to have low sperm count by different hospitals. Their daughter informed them that based on that, she was surprised when the husband informed her that a woman had given birth to twins for him. “That their daughter insisted that a DNA test must be conducted to verify the paternity of the twins before her husband would accept them and based on that, the husband became angry and invited both the wife’s family and his family members for intervention. And when all these were happening, the woman had misunderstanding with the husband’s younger sister Adesuwa threatened her that she would not live to see 2014.” They said after the quarrel, their daughter was allegedly kidnapped from her chemist on Ekae at Sapele Road, Benin City, and subsequently found dead at Okhuae Bridge, adding that her husband informed them that he had concluded negotiations with the alleged kidnappers and had given N1.5million to his younger brother who is a doctor to pay the kidnappers, but instead of their daughter, they received her corpse, eight days after her abduction. The family appealed to the IGP to take over the matter for a proper investigation of the matter and order the arrest of their in-law.

    “The Police at the state Police Command did not do any investigation despite the overwhelming evidence against the suspects, hence this appeal for the transfer of the case”, they concluded. Reacting, the bereaved husband said he had no reason to kill the woman he had loved all his life, adding that if they had quarrel, they would not have eaten together on the day the kidnappers struck. Chief Osawaru also denied bribing the police to stall investigation, stressing that he was arrested based on a petition the family wrote and he was detained for several days.

    “I went to lay a formal complaint with the State Police Command Headquarters that my wife was kidnapped. It was incidented at the Kidnapping Section. The negotiation and payment of ransom was made on the 18th of December.

    “As normal kidnapping happens, we thought that she will be released the next day. They did not release her, and I took the call history to the station. I don’t have any reason to kidnap my wife. We have lived together for several years. We have never had cause to quarrel. Which is better, to quit the marriage or to arrange to kill my own wife who have children for me. I can never do that. More so, we have been together in love. If we had quarrel, I won’t eat her food.”

    On the allegation of low sperm count and having children outside wedlock, he said, “That is not correct. I have a wife outside, and it’s a six-year marriage and the woman has a twins for me. The issue of medical and low sperm count is for doctors to explain. One can still father children with low sperm count. I don’t want to lay blame on anybody, since I understand why they are acting that way. I am so confident that in the soonest possible time, the security agencies will come up with the truth. I am aware that they are working seriously.”

    “If I have a relationship with the security agencies, they won’t detain me. I wrote my own statement, we attended interview with the Deputy Commissioner of Police, and right there, they knew the truth. But that does not mean that they have stopped working. I don’t want to pre-empt them. They have all the histories to unravel all these. It’s only a matter of time, I am so confident.” Asked whether he spoke with his wife before ransom payment, Chief Osawaru said the negotiation was done by his younger brother and a brother to the wife.

    “What happened was that when she was with them, based on friend’s advice, my younger brother who is a medical doctor, and her younger brother who is an accountant communicated with the kidnappers. I didn’t talk to them. All communications were done with the phone on loudspeakers,” he added. Osawaru said before the ransom payment, he insisted that he spoke with my wife, adding, “but they told me that they spoke with her. It was that that gave me the confident to pay it. Why I panicked when they took her was because of her health condition. Actually, she was highly diabetic. If my wife does not take her insulin every day, she will collapse. She takes her insulin in the morning, and also in the evening. So I became worried, and I even asked people, will they give her drugs? That was my fear. I don’t know what happened. It’s only the autopsy, and the security agency’s report that will tell us the truth. I don’t know whether she was shot, strangled or died out of natural means.”

    “God will vindicate us in the end. First time, I sent my relatives, but they were chased away. Then the police incident happened. I sent them again but they were not received and I then went to the paternal side who received them, and said they will make arrangement and get back to us, only for us to hear that they have taken a different dimension of protests. We were already working on how to work together to unravel this,” Chief Osawaru added.

     

  • ‘Jonathan and his wife are destroying everything about Rivers’

    ‘Jonathan and his wife are destroying everything about Rivers’

    A member of the defunct National Renewal Committee of the former Congress for Progressives Change (CPC) and a chieftain of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Wilfred Ogbotobo, speaks to MIKE ODIEGWU on  APC in Bayelsa State and the Rivers State crisis.

    How do you view the struggle for APC leadership in Bayelsa?

    It is normal for people to struggle for leadership especially in a scenario like the emergence of a great and powerful political party as the APC with its promise and prospects. It is normal and healthy for democracy, particularly in the context of Bayelsa politics. It is also expected that external antagonistic force would also want to attempt to destabilise “the Bayelsa Ark” at this stage just to keep the state perpetually on slow motion. These are some aspects of the struggle for the leadership of the party in the state. But no cause for alarm. Once an “Ark” always an “Ark”.

    Don’t you think APC does not stand a chance in Bayelsa State if it begins with crisis?

    I am not aware of crisis in the Bayelsa APC. Meetings and consultations have been ongoing smoothly in different places and on different levels, awaiting the forthcoming inauguration of the state interim exco. there are clear guidelines to manage every stage of the process. Some anomalies discovered in the case of the CPC’s representation on the interim exco, have been relayed to the Zonal interim exco for correction. At this stage, much enthusiasm and excitement, in diverse ways, is playing out and it is wrong and malicious to refer to this frenzy as crisis. I think it is instructive to urge the public to disregard the statements credited to Gov. Dickson and the Bayelsa PDP as the wild vituperation of a haunted government and an equally bankrupt, big-for-nothing political party. APC is at peace in Bayelsa state.

    Are you comfortable with the activities of of the loyalists of the former Governor of Bayelsa State, Mr. Timipre Sylva, who joined the party from PDP?

    Nobody is born to be comfortable with the actions or activities of others, but, as humans we have the ability to adapt to every material situation and condition. Obviously, these people have evolved from a particular political culture and peculiar ways of conducting the game of politics. They have also passed through circumstances which, I believe, have enriched their experiences. I should think that a synergy would ensue, at the end of the day, to strengthen not only individual readiness but also our collective commitment to the philosophy, rules and values of our great party, the APC.

    Bayelsa is known to be a PDP state, how can APC survive in the state of President Goodluck Jonathan?

    Bayelsa is not a PDP state. On the contrary, Bayelsans, in spirit and truth, are far removed from the PDP. PDP is not anchored in the hearts of Bayelsans. The relationship between the party and the state could be likened to a band of marauders terrorizing a gold-rich colony – careless, reckless and insensitive to everything about the colony except the gold and power.

    APC’s survival in Bayelsa would not ride on the crest of PDP’s apparent failure or the general disenchantment with Goodluck Jonathan’s lackluster performance. Rather, we are going to task our human ingenuity to chart a 21st century course that would engage every Bayelsans and, every community toward productivity. The “Bayelsa Ark” is already teeming with young, educated Bayelsans excited by the freedom and opportunities, offered by the APC, to impact their society. Surely, APC would have a smooth sail in Bayelsa.

    Bayelsans, young and old are fed up with poverty and ignorance, division and sentiments which PDP has successfully built into our brotherhood and values. The obsessions of PDP in Bayelsa, since 1999, are almost always not the paramount worries of the average Bayelsan. Enough is enough.

    How strong is the APC in the Southsouth?

    If the APC is not strong in Bayelsa state, Gov Seriake would not have embarked on his hurried tour of LGAs in the state, recently. If the APC is not strong in Rivers state, what is happening to Gov. Amaechi and, the trauma of the Rivers people would not have taken place. If APC is not in the hearts of the people of Delta state, Nigeria would not have commenced discussions with the UK authorities on prisoner exchange. Edo state is safe in our hands already. Our political seismologists have predicted great quakes in Cross River sooner than later. There is only one cock crowing in Akwa Ibom while others have discreetly booked for the “Ark”.

    APC would not recruit thugs, criminals, hooligans and guns to do our work. Our approach is to, responsibly, win back the hearts of the people for the collective task of uplifting our humanity in this 21st century. APC has firmly anchored in the South-South.

    How do you view the crisis in Rivers State?

    I strongly call on all God-fearing sons and daughters of the Ijaw nationality to prevail on President Jonathan so that he could realise the futility of his actions in Rivers State. The President and his wife are systematically destroying everything about Rivers State. I cannot see anything that Amaechi has done wrong. Amaechi, an Ikwerre and as governor of Rivers state, should even be commended for fighting a cause for our fellow Ijaws, the Kalabaris of Rivers State. In 2011, Nigerians overwhelmingly voted Jonathan without all this nonsense that is happening in different parts of the country. He should go before irreparable damage is done. Ijaws will not benefit, in any way, from these happenings.

    The Niger Delta is not in order and, nobody can predict the dimension in the event of any conflagration. The PDP, since 1999, has created so much distrust, bitterness and hatred in the system, even in an enclave like Bayelsa. Our values have been shattered to smithereens. Our communal systems have been pauperised.

  • Manu dedicates trophy to Goodluck, wife

    Manu dedicates trophy to Goodluck, wife

    Coach Manu Garba (MFR) has dedicated Nigeria’s fourth record FIFA Under-17 World Cup victory to both President Goodluck Jonathan and his wife, Hajiya Babita Garba after Golden Eaglets 3-0 thrashing of Mexico on Friday in Abu Dhabi.

    Away from the battery of cameras and in the hallowed corridors of Al

    Jazira’s dressing room in Abu Dhabi, Manu said both President Jonathan and his jewel of inestimable value more than anybody deserved praises for the feat he achieved with his team. He recalled it was only President Jonathan that hosted the team upon their team’s return from the CAN Under-17 Championship where they came second.

    “This trophy is for President Goodluck Jonathan who had a strong belief in us despite the fact that we came second at the African championship,” Manu said. “We were really fired up when he hosted us after the African Championship and we are looking forward to meeting Mr. President again with the World Cup Trophy.”

    Manu described President Jonathan as a very lucky man after the Golden Eaglets followed the footsteps of the Super Eagles for winning a major trophy in 2013. The senior national team started the year with glorious outing at the AFCON in South Africa and the Golden Eaglets World Cup win is more than an icing on the cake as 2013 drags to an end.

    He revealed that the first person he called immediately y after the final whistle of the match that saw his young guns dethroned Mexico as the World Under-17 Champions and entered the pantheon of world football as the first to win a record fourth world title.“ In fact, for the past four months I was not able to see my wife because of the nature of this job and I’m so happy that all the efforts we put into this work was not in vain,” he said. “I want to use this opportunity to thank my wife so much for taking care of the home front.”

    Manu also heaped praises on both Senator Liyel Imoke, Governor of Cross River State and Nigeria’s Ambassador to the United Arab Emirates, His Excellency Ibrahim Auwalu who rode on the team’s bus in company of NFF’s President Alhaji Aminu Maigari for a dinner reception hosted by Nigeria’s Embassy in the UAE.