The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • ‘Losing my sister was a wake-up call for me’

    ‘Losing my sister was a wake-up call for me’

    Propelled by a personal tragedy and driven by a passion for better healthcare, Ola Orekunrin set up Flying Doctors Nigeria, the first air ambulance service in West Africa, transporting victims of medical emergencies, including industrial workers. She shared with ADETUTU AUDU how she finds fulfillment in saving lives.

     

    WHAT really inspired Flying Doctors?

    I love medicine, aviation and entrepreneurial skills. When thinking about something that could really bring these three interests together, I thought it could be a perfect idea. I wanted to find a way that I could facilitate people who were critically ill, get them to see a doctor, and not just any doctor, but getting the right patient to the right facility, within the right time frame for that particular illness.

    But I discovered that you lost someone close to you because you could not get air ambulance and that spurred you into the initiative.

    That was exactly what happened: my younger sister became very sick when she was in Nigeria. And in England it is very easy to get ambulance to move patient to needed facilities. But in Nigeria, it is difficult to find or even West Africa. We could only get in South Africa. By the time we were able to organise that, my sister died. It was really a devastating time for me and I started thinking about whether I should be in England talking about healthcare in Africa, or I should be in Africa dealing with healthcare and trying to do something about it. It was a wake-up call for me. I began research into how rescue is done in Nigeria. For instance, if bomb explosion happened in Maiduguri and people needed to be evacuated to Abuja, how would this happen?

    If somebody is shot in Delta State and

    needs the pellet to be removed in Lagos, how does that happen? I was surprised that it does not really happen, people just died. It does not matter who they were or what they can afford. There is just nothing. Even the governors have to travel with ambulance in their own convoy; they could have accident and die. And these are the people who rule the affairs of the states. I wanted to put in place an effective measure to move people from one area to another for treatment.

    The reason I started with the air ambulance is because the distances are so far. If you are talking about somebody that is injured in Delta State and there is nowhere in the state that they can treat him, if you decide to take the person by road, it will take like six hours and the person could have been died by that time. Or somebody in Maiduguri that needs to be moved to Abuja, the journey is more than a day.

    What were your initial challenges?

    The first is finding the aircraft for the job. We realised that not every state has an air pole. Another is the issue of staff. To run pre-hospital service, you need experts. We tried to recruit from Nigeria, but we realised that there were no pre- hospital experts. In England, we have professors in pre-hospital care, that is what they do all ne in collaboration with the Delta State University. It is a big challenge getting people and training them. We got a lot of doctors now working in the pre-hospital environment. In order to get more personnel, we will be opening the first faculty of pre-hospital care in West Africa. We want everybody to be able to offer the essential first aid. We want people in the FRSC. Buying and commissioning big equipment is not what saves lives. Saving lives is very cheap. In Seattle, in America, you are almost 70 percent sure that an average person knows what to do, if someone collapseds. Nigerian doctors might not know what to do to restore that heart, not to talk of an average Nigerian. In Seattle, cleaners, drivers know what to do and this is what we are trying to inculcate in Nigerians.

    their lives. We have paramedics, but in Nigeria paramedics are actually non-existing. There is no department of pre-hospital care in the university. We are just opening one in collaboration with the Delta State University. It is a big challenge getting people and training them. We got a lot of doctors now working in the pre-hospital environment. In order to get more personnel, we will be opening the first faculty of pre-hospital care in West Africa. We want everybody to be able to offer the essential first aid. We want people in the FRSC. Buying and commissioning big equipment is not what saves lives. Saving lives is very cheap. In Seattle, in America, you are almost 70 percent sure that an average person knows what to do, if someone collapseds. Nigerian doctors might not know what to do to restore that heart, not to talk of an average Nigerian. In Seattle, cleaners, drivers know what to do and this is what we are trying to inculcate in Nigerians.

    Who are your clientele?

    Most change, unfortunately, when it comes to medicine starts at the top. We work with banks, manufacturing companies and other corporate organisations. Even the scope of the organisation, it is probably the less-privileged people that probably benefited. The managing director of Skye Bank for instance is not going to be at a branch when armed robbers storm the bank; it is probably going to be the security guards or cashiers. Dangote is not going to be the one operating machine and get his fingers amputated. We want to reach the ordinary Nigerians. Once you have succeeded in the private sector, then the government will try to notice you. I don’t believe in Nigerians’ mentality of government.com. Everybody has to be working for government; prove yourself in the private sector first. We have been working with the private sector for some years now and they have small budgets and we have to work with the budgets. People working with government just throw money around without anything to show for it.

    working with government just throw money around without anything to show for it.

    You will agree with me that this project is capital intensive. So how do you source for fund?

    I started with my money. People thought it was impossible but no matter how small your salary is, I believe you can save. I started working after graduation, I had a very terrible car too. While others were changing their cars, buying Ferrari and moving apartment after graduation, living according to their new status, I did not. I stayed in my student’s apartment because I was saving 90 percent of my income. When I thought I had enough, I came to Nigeria and started off. The structure of the company is that we sell and re-invest into the company.

    When would you say the breakthrough came?

    I was really frustrated because things were not moving at a time; I had to go back to England and come back and re-invest. I was spending money, using my last money to buy my ticket back to England, work some few hours and come back again. This was going on for a while and I was becoming frustrated. One day, I was invited to a party, I met a supposed ‘sugar daddy’, we exchanged business cards. He later called me around 3.00am few days later. And I was like pissed off; how can a sugar daddy be calling me early in the morning? He later told me that he needed my help, his son was sick and in another region. ‘You told me you do air ambulance, come and do the job now.’ I realised that the equipment was there and I could do it. So I approached Helicopter Company that could help, though I didn’t have the money to lease. I called them up and told them I would pay later, we did the job and I paid the lease. The man later turned out to be a husband to one of the influential women and I just saved their son’s life. That was how she started introducing me around. And that was it. I almost gave up because I had lost so much money and I could see my mates progressing within the system.

    What really motivated you to study medicine?

    I like science. I also have a sister who had sickle cell anaemia and she was always in the hospital; that made me to interact with doctors a lot.

    How was it easy for you moving from England to Nigeria?

    I have been to a lot of countries. I have been to Japan, where I was supposed to be working in a hospital. I couldn’t speak their language. Even taking the train was a problem; I couldn’t read the station, I had to be looking at the picture in my hand if it correlated with the one on the train. But in Nigeria, everybody speaks English, so it was much easier.

    What was growing up like for you?

    I grew up in a normal environment. My parents were ready to invest in me regardless that I am a female child. In Nigeria, a lot of parents see female children as second class. But my parents were really supportive.

    How do you relax in the midst of your tight schedule?

    I don’t watch TV, which is odd. But I get a lot of inspiration from books and listening to radio. If I have children, I may not be able to do this.

  • Your passion should give you money and joy

    Your passion should give you money and joy

    Ochee Bambgoye is a development consultant and CEO of Oye Dynamix. Over the years she has helped to train a number of entrepreneurs on how to develop business models that are indigenous. The co-founder of Oye Institute speaks to Yetunde Oladeinde on how the institute was set up to facilitate African models of excellence looking at issues like goal-setting, time management, performance monitoring and developing excellence, as well as her personal life-experience.

     

    WHAT is your organisation all about?

    We are a human capital growth consultancy organisation. We concentrate on growth aspect of life like talent management, learning and development strategies, human resource audit and we are particular about research and leading thoughts on attitudinal change and basic transformation that is relevant to developing people in Nigeria and Africa. We work with several partner organisations in Nigeria and outside the country. We also make sure that the interventions are home-grown and targeted at Africa.

    Can you tell us also about your antecedents?

    I started out as a lawyer and trained in Nigeria and the United Kingdom. I worked with government in the UK and while I was in government I realised that there was a lot of emphasis on monitoring performance for improving and developing excellence. All the systems and structures are used for a continuous appraisal system.

    It is quite different from what we have here, where people just take from areas that do not concern them and apply it. I also worked at the local governments in the London Bureau of Camden, Harrow and the Citizens Advise Bureau.

    What was the experience you gained from these organisations?

    The experience helped me to develop a multiple approach to problem solving. I came with my values from Africa and it made me gain from others too. As a person, you need to always add to yourself and be refined.

    What projects did you handle then?

    I have done a lot of human capacity building for government. I was involved in the transformation project for the Ministry of Education under Oby Ezekwesili. Our achievement was in diagnosing and developing a rapid assessment into the capacity issues of the public service. It made us to realise that there were poor stakeholder’s management, and information sharing was the key problem. We tried our best but it wasn’t easy to change the process totally. I wish that I could have changed the attitudes of the personnel. What I noticed was that there were lots of public officers who were working hard but because of the promotion system in the service they were discouraged.

    People with competence felt cheated and discouraged because those who didn’t contribute got promoted. So what happened was that those who could deliver decided to down tools. There was no incentive, and a competency-based promotion system would have solved that. At that point, Oronsanye was in the civil service and he tried to change the statuesque but there were a lot of protests. Most of the things he did were part of our diagnosis.

    What was it like working with Oby Ezekwesili then?

    Oby was and is still a fantastic woman to work with. She is one person who is not afraid to say her emotions the way it is. When she is happy or sad you will know. She is also not afraid to tell you how she feels about something, whether it’s black or white. For me, Oby is integrity personified, and unfortunately for her, she was dropped in a 99 per cent corrupt environment. She is also a highly spiritual woman and she has been able to balance both.

    As a wife of a pastor, some people thought that they could use this to massage her ego to get what they wanted but it didn’t work. She is transparent and if you tell her something about me, she would call the two of us and throw it open. It was a great experience working under her. Then I was the team leader for capacity building.

    How would you describe women and leadership in Nigeria today?

    For this, I would say that we have come a long way. Right from the outset when women started looking for a paradigm shift, they understood that they couldn’t do without men. So they worked hand in hand with the men and they empowered a lot of women in the process. Also the political parties have seen the value of women too. At that point, they were asking for 35 per cent of women and they got it during the last elections. People like Kema Chikwe is working towards 50 per cent and women in the different parties are doing well.

    What do you expect from women during the 2015 elections?

    A strong evidence of women’s inclusion. It would be nice to have a female senate president or vice president. We have a programme for women coming up on the 25th of April and the objective is to help women develop a healthy balance between their professional success and personal fulfillment. It is called the Oye Women’s conference and it would take place at the Metropolitan Club in Lagos. Other partners include ACCA, an accounting firm, Ifeoma Williams, Nkiru Asika and Ndidi Nwunelli who will be talking about the success story of her organisation, a food processing company. It is actually a social responsibility programme and our contribution to society. It is our own way of creating awareness with practical case studies on how people made it in their businesses. You have a number of people who have a job and they are making money elsewhere. But you should be making money where you work. So why is there a disconnect? Why can’t your passion give you money and joy? The truth is that a lot of people are not satisfied with their jobs.

  • Solutions to relationship issues

    -Princess’ Thought of the Week!

    “The key to a happy marriage for any woman is to be able to cook a great meal, and a great sex life with her spouse. Understanding each other, emotionally, physically, and most importantly to some people, spiritually is the basis to a successful and happy marriage.”

     

    Question: Is it possible to recycle or rebrand a woman? – Tomiwa, Ibadan.

    Answer: Yes, it is possible to recycle or even rebrand a woman. To rebrand means to create a differentiated identity in the mind of others. A radical change to ones looks or image such that you create a new identity for yourself. An example is when a 40 year old woman looks 30. This can be accomplished if the woman is aware of the way she looks, by watching her weight, eating a well balanced diet, exercising daily, and paying attention to her general well being. By that, she will continue to look younger than her age and radiant. Another important thing to stay away from is stress. Stress, as we know, can cause a whole lot of medical problems, like high blood pressure which can eventually lead to stroke. But the first thing that stress does to one is that it fasten the ageing process, wherein a 30 year old looks like a 40 year old. So, it is very important to know your stressor and try as much as possible to reduce it. Maintaining a healthy and happy lifestyle is the most important ingredient to youthfulness.

     

    Question: How does a woman keep her marriage so that a younger or another woman for that matter does not steal her spouse? – Seyi, Ajah.

    Answer: The question of keeping ones marriage is simple, but at the same time, also complex. Simple in the sense that if there is love, understanding, and an effective communication on both sides, the marriage will succeed. If your husband marries you when your dress size was 20 and now you try to shed that weight, chances are he likes big women, and that might create a problem in the marriage. The complexity will come in when love fades, understanding is lost, and most essentially the chain of communication breaks. Make sure you keep the fire lit in your relationship with your husband, go back to when you first started dating and see what attracted him to you, vice versa, and see if the same natural charm can still work.

     

    Question: Princess, when does a woman stop having sexual urge in a marriage? – Yinka, Ikeja.

    Answer: Sexual urge by itself differs for both men and women. A friend once told me “My husband’s infidelity is so uncontrollable that I can’t even imagine him touching me any longer”. One of her fears is STD (Sexual Transmitted Disease, e.g. HIV). Another reason was because she felt her husband no longer loves her. So, it requires an internal soul search to find out if the reason for decrease in sexual urge in your marriage is physically or emotionally or even both. Without sexual urge, there is no lovemaking. Lovemaking can be tested in marriage. Meaning, sex itself in marriage is a seal of oneness. A woman especially needs to be careful not to break that seal in order not to break her marriage. It should be no surprise that couples may experience problem that showed up in the bedroom. If sex is not working in your marriage, I will suggest looking below the surface. It may be a result of deeper issues that need to be addressed and resolved before sexual intimacy can improve. Also, things over time, such as job security, children, finances, and age might be contributing factors. Take a look and see how any one of this factor is affecting sexual urge. Ordinarily, just as men are well able to make love way into their 90s, most women also enjoy sex into their 70s and beyond.

     

    Thoughts For The Week!

    Question: Has our society totally lost its ability to choose brain over breast, or breast over brain? What do you think?

    Send your comments to:

    askprincess10@gmail.com

    SMS to: 08155558770

  • French study suggests younger women should stop wearing bras

    A new French study suggests some women should throw their bras in the trash.

    Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports medicine specialist from Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Besancon in Besancon, France, published a study on Wednesday that shows that wearing bras may not prevent women’s breasts from sagging, and may in fact increase it.

    “Our first results confirm the hypothesis that the bra is a false need,” Rouillon told France Info. “Medically, physiologically, anatomically, the breast does not benefit from being deprived of gravity. Instead, it languishes with a bra.”

    The 15-year study involved 330 volunteers between the ages 18 and 35. Researchers measured their breasts using a slide ruler and a caliper and recorded any changes throughout the study period.

    Women who did not wear bras had a 7 millimeter lift as measured from their nipples each year. Their breasts were also firmer, and their stretch marks faded. There was also no evidence that the bras helped get rid of back pain.

    The researchers believed that wearing bras prevented the growth of breast tissue, which lead to deterioration of the muscles that support the breasts. If you don’t wear a bra, the muscles are worked-out more, the findings suggest.

    One volunteer, a 28-year-old woman named Capucine said that she hasn’t worn a bra in two years. She told France Info that not wearing the underwear has helped her breathe better, stand straighter and have less backpain.

    However, not everyone should eschew bras. While he believes the study shows that bras are unnecessary, Roullion said that a 45-year-old mother who has worn a bra her whole life may not see any benefits if she decided to toss her brassiere, because the study did not involve women older than 35 years old.

    “It would be dangerous to advise all women to stop wearing their soutien-gorge (bra) as the women involved were not a representative sample of the population,” he told the Connextion.

    The New York Times reported that the findings have been met with jokes in the French media, including some columnist who have expressed “astonishment” that the study took so long and was still considered as “preliminary” research.

  • Surviving an emotional hurricane

    HURRICANES are large spiralling storms that can pack wind speed of over 160 miles an hour and unleash more than 2.4 trillion gallons of rain a day. Damage is done via heavy rains, strong winds and heavy waves to building, trees and cars. Here, tales of destruction abound and it can be likened to what you experience in a romantic experience that has turned deadly.

    In an emotional hurricane, hearts would be ravaged, dreams torn to shreds and deep hatred like the waves blow endlessly around. Even when you wish and wish that you could come to a middle way, it does not work out because the wind of emotional change is in charge.

    Sometimes, when love gets sour it is better to move on thinking of something new, something that would give you a breath of fresh air. There is certainly no point crying over spilt milk. Unfortunately for Lauretta, she didn’t feel this way, when she realised that she had been taken for a love ride by the guy who made her tipsy for about two years.

    In the process, she made a number of core love investments and her dream was to reap great emotional dividends in the process. She wasn’t alone and friends and a number of close allies who monitored this emotional deal waited patiently for positive outcome. “When things started to go wrong, I just didn’t know what to do. We worked in the same office and for the first time I realised that office romance was not a great idea after all.

    “Everyone followed the emotional war with great passion. They used every opportunity to tell me why I must fight him to a standstill. Foolishly, I listened to them and the battle line was drawn. We fought each other to a standstill and when he just could not take it anymore, he left. Even though I was still at work, my mind was not at work and my life was in a real mess.”

    Poor gal! Where is she going to start from now? How was she going to get back on track again? Life without her dearest was empty but somehow there was nothing she could do about it. Just when she thought she had found all she wanted, it vanished into thin air and she was stranded once more.

    Well, it wasn’t really her fault, neither was it his too. But for the two lovebirds, it was not destined to work. The love strings was cut midway and before they could pick the emotional strings together the affectionate metre stopped suddenly.

    It is usually important to understand the personality that you are dealing with. Sometimes it may just not be what you think it is. Sometimes, a man will often need to take some time to himself even when he’s crazy about a woman – and especially after a period of intense intimacy.

    Also it may just be that all he wanted was a fling; he never really had “long-term” in mind. Poor gal! Stupidly she’s far away in fantasy Island, lost to her emotions while the guy she has fallen hopelessly and helplessly in love with is busy plotting an emotional coup.

    So what could have gone wrong? You wonder. Different reasons and it may not necessarily be because he’s not in the right place in his life right now for a serious relationship. For a lot of guys, it may just be that he isn’t ready or capable of real intimacy.

    If a man suddenly pulls back and appears less interested in you, so many things will run through your mind as to why? Then what ends up happening is that you become so worried about what that why might be that you start acting differently toward him.

    But there’s a way to nip this in the bud. First, you need to find out the real reason why a man is acting this way, and this will actually deepen your connection with him.

    Instead of feeling powerless and wondering what he’ll do next or whether you’ve scared him away, you’ll feel grounded and know what to do. And you’ll be able to clearly see whether he’s right for you and worth sticking it out with. It’s going to make you the chooser in your relationship, rather than the other way around.

    Is it just a fantasy that a man will, of his own accord, decide that he can’t live without you and that he’s willing to give up his single days for you?

    An emotional hurricane, therefore, can be really devastating for many. All the emotions that you had planted in the midst of thorns would be pulled out, blown away with the winds and your heart would be in pieces. It is actually the worst scenario that you can imagine and most times chances of survival are usually very slim.

    Conversely, you have an ideal scenario, the type you read about in fairy tales about a happy ending and living together forever. Desperately, many, therefore, try to pull emotional square pegs into round hole thinking it would work if only they put in more effort.

    Yet, they never really seem to go too far. Nearly, more often than not, does not kill a love bird after all. The big question on the lips of many is why do men often display so much resistance when it’s time to get serious?

    Flirting can be done in a way that triggers a man’s attraction and feels very natural to him… or it can be forced and make a man feel very uncomfortable. If flirting doesn’t get his attention, then it may just destroy everything. So you need to distinguish and understand the “channels” of flirting that you can use in a way that feels natural to you.

  • Important steps to making a wise career choice

    CHOOSING your career is a big step. For anyone, choosing what you will be doing with your life is a decision that is just too big to make. The fact of the matter is that those who make a choice, stick to it and start working towards their career goals are those who end up with a great career that is not only rewarding financially but also emotionally. Your job is a very important part of your life. You will spend an estimated 60% of your “waking life” at work so its best to do everything you can to make the best career choice.

    While there are many fancy tests and personality profiles that you can do to “decide for you” in the end its still a decision and something that you have to make and take responsibility for. So, how do you make this all important decision – and make it wisely? Here are 3 important tips to help you out.

     

    1. Find your passion

    What are you passionate about in life? For now, don;t think about a career. Think instead of those things in life that you absolutely love. What is it that you will do – even if you do not get paid doing it? People who do what they love are people who are happy and fulfilled. Going to work every day doing a job you hate is the ultimate punishment. Somehow we’ve come to believe that your job is not something you can enjoy and that its just something you have to do to earn money. Not true. You can do what you love and earn a good living from it.

     

    2. What are you good at?

    What are your biggest and best talents? This does not mean that you cannot develop new talents but taking an inventory of all those things that you are already good at can be a great start. Your talents are those things that is just effortless to you. What might seem very hard or even impossible for others just come naturally for you.

     

    3. Get practical

    Once you know what you love and what you are good at (which usually goes hand in hand) you can start getting more practical. No matter what it is that you love, there is a career for you. Do you love eating ice cream all day? Well, there’s a career for that and ice cream testers are very well paid and highly regarded. Your task now is to look for careers that will meet your passions and your talents. It might take a bit of searching but in the end the rewards will be immense.

  • ‘Women have a right to be who they want to be’

    ‘Women have a right to be who they want to be’

    Oreoluwa Somolu is the Executive Director of the Women’s Technology Empowerment Centre (W.TEC). The masters degree holder in Analysis, Design and Management of Information Systems from the London School of Economics has used the organisation to encourage women to use technology to empower themselves by building technology skills among women, technology literacy workshops, research, career counselling and mentoring through the Girls’ Technology camp. In a chat with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about the achievements recorded, challenges and new projects.

     

     

    SOMOLU first worked for several years in the United States at an educational not-for-profit organisation on a number of projects which explored the interplay between gender and technology and which sought to attract more girls and women to study and work in science and technology-related fields. She also managed an oil and gas career awareness programme for secondary school and higher education students in Nigeria prior to setting-up W.TEC.

    What is going on at Women Technology Empowerment Centre (W.TEC) at the moment?

    I would say that everything is going fine in terms of our programmes. This year we are going to have three camps. The first training camp is going to commence this April and we are already set for it. The second camp will take place in July and we are collaborating with an international organisation called Weeuu Foundation in the United States of America for this. The last of training is our yearly event which holds in August and it is going to be a very interesting programme this year.

    Let’s go back to when you started the organisation about six years ago. What was your vision at that point?

    For a while I had conceived the idea but it became a reality in year 2008. Looking back now from when we started, I would say that we have recorded a number of achievements. First, we have reached out to about 5000 women and girls and they have also reached out to people in their various organisations and networks. We also try to reach out to our alumnae who are now in higher institutions in different parts of the country as well as those outside the country.

    Even though not all of them are doing science-related courses but you can see a difference in their perspectives and how the exposure has helped to widen their horizon. Interestingly, they have integrated what they have learnt and they have also used the knowledge gained to teach their friends, parents, siblings and other family members.

    They also use the skills in the organisations that they belong to, like the church for recording church activities, and much more. We also target women who are unemployed so that they can use the knowledge acquired to empower themselves socially and economically. Some of the older women who are working with civil society organisations have set up their own blogs and they use it to publicise their activities in a unique way.

    How do you monitor and evaluate the impact made?

    We do follow up interviews and we also get feedbacks. We have built a lot of capacity and you cannot even imagine the multiplier effect that the trainings have created. WTEC has reached out in a number of ways and we have worked with a number of development partners in the process. We get a lot of referrals from people who have passed through our organisation and this has earned us a number of recognitions locally and internationally.

    Would you say that you have achieved what you set out to achieve at the beginning?

    Yes, I would say that I am fulfilled seeing the results of what we have done in the past and the fact that we can still impact more lives in the nearest future. It can be very exciting when you are working on something and at every turn you find that there is still much more to do. To make it interesting and dynamic, we are always revising our curriculum and we are planning to set up computer clubs. This is going to be a place where we can bring the girls back to teach others as well as learn more. We also go out to different schools to give talks and we have also discovered a number of feedbacks in the process.

    Talking about the computer and exposure to technology, you find a lot of people abusing the social media…

    Of course, we also know that there are a lot of fraudsters and mischievous people online. However, I would say that it is the same thing as everything else in the world. The young mind is also very adventurous and we try as much as possible to educate them about hacking, cyber bullying and cyber stalking. We also take them through cases that have happened in the past so that they can identify people who would want to harm them.

    Basically, we take them through a number of things that must be avoided, things to watch out for to know if the site is credible or not. We also advice them to avoid things like pornography and not get distracted as they empower themselves. This is very important because you must know how to navigate the internet safely. The internet certainly has so many pros and cons and so it is better to always highlight the positives areas more and create awareness about the negative things that may come their way.

    What would you consider as the greatest influence so far?

    Financially, I must say it is not so rewarding. Luckily for me that was not the motive at the beginning. Personally, I feel really fulfilled because it is a dream comes true. I am usually very excited when I see these girls coming back with stories of how the skills they acquired through us have helped to transform their lives. Impacting the lives of women, therefore, has been a great source of inspiration for me. It has also made me more organised and has improved my managerial skills. I am now a better manager in terms of managing people, resources and my time. I have also learnt how to delegate duties, identify people with skills and talents.

    Let’s talk about your late sister who died in the Dana crash last year. What do you miss about her?

    I really don’t want to talk about her death. I know that the investigation about the crash is still on and we are waiting for the report. I don’t want to preempt anything now.

    How would you assess the performance of Nigerian women in different spheres of life?

    Nigerian women are very innovative and very hardworking. Women all over the world are expected to manage their homes very well as well as be very successful in their careers especially in Africa and Nigeria where there are lots of expectations. Of course, we all know that there are a lot of women who are very successful in their careers who have also managed their homes very well. I believe that women should have a right to be who they want to be and not what people expect them to be. If they want to be career women alone then they should be allowed to be themselves. Or if we have women who just want to be housewives and have babies then they should be respected for this. Unfortunately, there are lots of expectations, like a woman must be married at a certain age and all that.

    Who are some of the women that you admire?

    Everyone says that they admire their mother. Yes, I must say that I admire my mum a lot. I love the way that my mum has managed her career and family. But apart from that I have women that I admire for different reasons. I admire Oprah Winfrey even though she isn’t married or have children. She decided from a very early stage that she wanted to be independent and she followed her instinct. In Nigeria, I also admire the current Minister of Communication, Adebola Johnson. She is very intelligent and she is passionate about improving technology and everything that affects the sector.

    If you had to advise Nigerian women, what you would you tell them?

    Well, that’s hard to say because women have different values. I would like that every woman can achieve their dreams, follow their instincts and be focused.

  • Michelle Obama slips up, calls herself ‘single mother’

    Michelle Obama slips up, calls herself ‘single mother’

    HER husband is one of the most powerful men in the world, but his wife seemed to forget about him for a split second during an interview Thursday.

    Speaking with CNN’s Burlington, Vermont-based affiliate WCAX, Michelle Obama was describing the challenges of eating healthy for busy parents when she said, “Believe me, as a busy single mother – or I shouldn’t say single – as a busy mother, sometimes when you’ve got a husband who is president it can feel a little single. But he’s there,” the first lady said.

    The first lady joined school children Thursday in the White House kitchen garden, planting lettuce and other vegetables. She’s made combatting childhood obesity a central issue during her time in the White House, and has spoken frequently about the challenges parents face in providing their children with healthy food.

    “As a busy working mom, and before I was in the White House, I was in that position as well. Working, driving kids to practice, not having enough time to shop or cook. Not having the energy. Resources weren’t the issue, but time and energy is key,” she said in the interview with WCAX.

  • Stepping outside the lines

    CAN two broken hearts melt into one? Yes, sometimes ‘cracking’ hearts can be resuscitated and you could have something that would last forever. A lot of people who have suffered heartaches can still find their missing ribs, if only they look around carefully. Naturally, their emotions have been blown with the winds and they are just managing to hang on. But from this emotional valley, it is still possible to move out and rediscover something new and adorable.

    This can only happen when the new bird is sincere and willing to flow with you. Interestingly, this is the situation Noami is experiencing at the moment and she is happy that she allowed her heart to step out of the ‘box’. At a distance, Naomi seemed to have the world in her pocket. Friends and neighbours admired and held her in high esteem because of her rare qualities. She was beautiful in and out. A pretty face, great physique and a large heart. Yet, there was just one snag: there was no Romeo in sight. And so everyone made it his or her business to be a great matchmaker just to find our dear friend a Mr. Right.

    “It wasn’t as if I never really found a guy I loved or admired. Unfortunately, he died three months to our wedding. That was a fatal emotional blow, one that I never really recovered from. It actually took me a long while before I started picking the bits and pieces together because my world crumbled at that point.”

    He must have been a wonderful guy, the type that you wish to spend a lifetime with. “Yes, he was a rare personality and he transformed my life while we were together. When I got the news from his younger sister I was shocked.”

    She kept on wishing it was all a dream and that someone was going to wake her up from this emotional slumber. “Most times I kept on talking to myself and tell me that it wasn’t true.” Sadly, that never happened and the poor lady’s heart kept on sinking. “By the time I woke up it was almost too late. All the guys I ran into and admired were all married. I was stuck and the ones that desperately wanted my hand were not the kind that I desired.”

    From that point, yours truly was on the receiving end and hung on to life as an emotional beggar with little or no choice at all. Just when she thought that her emotional gates had been padlocked for life another heart came passing by. “We met at a friend’s wedding anniversary. I knew that all our friends would be at the event and they would all be popping the same question at yours truly. But again, I was lonely and I needed something to fill up this vacuum. To make things easy for me I had told myself not to take any question seriously and just make myself happy.

    Like she imagined, almost everyone turned out for the event. Two great minds locked together as one sure deserve everyone’s time and attention. I sat in a corner and tried to tuck myself away from familiar faces. Unfortunately, one of the busy bodies finally caught up with yours truly. She was clutching a male hand bag and because I hadn’t seen her in a long while, I imagined he was her ‘property’.

    Well, it turned out that my assumptions were wrong. This was actually another matchmaking episode and yours truly was at the centre of the script. “Hello dearie ! How are we today? I just saw that you don’t have any company and I thought I should introduce my cousin, Ajibade to you.”

    Nonsense! Can’t these people realise that life is not all about having a partner. Who says that I am lonely without a busy body around me? Trust Shade, she zoomed off almost immediately and didn’t wait for my opinion on the matter. What am I going to do with this emotional garbage that she dumped on me? We kept starring at each other like dundies and I felt like running away.

    Wait a minute! It is not fair to sit on the fence and assume that you are better than the other person. So, I had this desire to help. Poor heart, only God knows who has wounded him this badly. But can two broken hearts melt into one.Then suddenly he opens his mouth and started talking. Well, he wasn’t as bad as I thought and in a short while this familiar stranger wormed his way into my heart.

    The truth of the matter is that a man can be just as afraid or even more afraid of rejection than you are. In order for a man to overcome “shyness” or even his fear of rejection, he has to feel pretty confident in himself or in the idea that if he were to ask you out, you’d respond with a “yes.” Secondly, if you’re always surrounded by a group of people, he may not have the opportunity to be free with you.

    If he’s never had a one-on-one conversation with you, where you’re leading with attraction and flirting back, he may not feel too sure of the situation. This is why it’s important that if you want to maximise the chances that a man will follow up with his attraction for you, you may just have to find a way to engage him. This way he would definitely discover that you are both interested and available.

  • Pamper yourself this Easter

    THE holiday’s are here and Easter is the time when you finally get the chance to celebrate being a woman and what better way than to pamper yourself. It does not matter if you were given and gift or not, this the day to relax and enjoy. You should, because nobody deserves it more than you. After all, body no be wood!

    To get more excitement out of this experience, you could start by listing the things you love doing, but have not had the time to indulge in.

    Get together with your close friend or spouse and try to talk them into giving you some time off your regular ‘duties’.

    If you do not want any distraction, you could check into a hotel with your best friend so that you could just relax, get a range of beauty treatments done, have a new haircut without having to worry about your meals!

    If you don’t have the freedom to go away, then take the day off from work, from household work too, and just chill.

    On D-day morning:

    Wake up only when you feel like. If you have daily tasks and chores, delegate to someone for the day. If possible, cajoule your spouse to give you tea in bed. Wear something that you are comfortable in, something that makes you feel good and happy. Then spend time doing what you like, maybe listening to music, an hour in nature basking in the sun and fresh air, gardening or visiting the nursery to pick up your favourite plants, having a leisurely bath, going for a drive, having a sumptuous breakfast at your favourite restaurant.

    Mid-morning

    Though it sounds clichéd, schedule a manicure, facial, pedicure or massage or just go shopping with no budget in mind. Have a look at stores which otherwise you would not dare enter and go window shopping. Who knows they could be having a special discount on that day!

    Afternoon

    Meet a friend, have a leisurely lunch, dessert and coffee. Buy yourself a book, perfume, flowers. Then head home to take a nap or hook up with a friend to spend the evening with her. Wake up and call up a few friends, gossip and laugh. Or just put on your favourite movie and relax with some snacks and tea.

    Evening

    Light a few candles or have some scents around for a calming and uplifting effect. Indulge in a glass of wine, some cake or salad before you settle down to a light dinner. Relish you meal, watch a movie and do not be afraid to sleep off in front of the television.

    You only get to live once, let’s make the best of each second!