The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • Let’s keep our heads up in the midst of fierce challenges

    Its undeniable  these are gloomy times. There is rising national tension over increasing insecurity, and a whole lot has been written here about out issues. However in the midst of it all,  there have been notable occurrences to rekindle hope ; these will be the focus in this piece.

    Firstly,  there is the Obama Foundation founded in 2014. Five years down the line,  the decision was taken recently by the board to appoint a president to oversee the day to day running of the foundation.  The chairman of the board,  Martin Nesbit in a recent statement announced the appointment of Nigerian American  Adewale Adeyemo as  pioneer president. Fondly called Wally Adeyemo, the Nigerian born economist is now tasked with overseeing almost 200 members of staff. Additionally,  he is going to oversee the construction of a proposed Obama Presidential Centre. Adeyemo is an economic expert and is the former Deputy Director, National Economic Council. He served as President Barack Obama’s senior international economic adviser. He is also the former deputy national security adviser for international economics.

    The Obama Presidential Centre is said to be a $500 million project.

    This cheery news was followed by some  news from the world of football. And even if you are not a football fan, the interesting detail in this story about this Nigerian International cuts across.

    The English Premier League transfer window closed at the dot of 5:00pm on Thursday August 8, 2019. One day before,  Everton football club submitted a bid for the signing of Arsenal’s Alex Iwobi.  The bid offer? £30m. Yes, thirty million pounds sterling.  And that’s not even the news- the Gunners( as the Arsenal club side is also known) TURNED DOWN the Everton offer! The price was not right,  the offer was too low !!

    Indeed,  Iwobi is a good catch for the Toffees (Everton). Iwobi came up through the Arsenal youth set-

    up in North London, to make the first team. He started playing with Arsenal at the age of 8. Last season,  the Nigerian International made 51 appearances in all competitions. He also scored in the final of the Europa League. Arsenal put a peg of an “ excess of £40m’ for Iwobi, finally  settling for a deal valued at £40m on deadline day.

    Now it had happened that the English Premier League club side had just splashed out £72m when they signed on Nicholas Pepe. That was their greatest transfer spending ever,  so Arsenal was looking to recoup a substantial part of that sum. And it was  our very own, Alex Iwobi , on whose head they put such a bounty.

    The point here is  that when it is widely reported how many other 23 year old Nigerians are drowning on the precarious and illegal  Mediterranean crossing to where they would at best scrape menial jobs, one Nigerian has raised the bar such that his team would not part with him, not  for a staggering £30m. That is $36,416,000, or €32,493,600. And at the official rate of £1 to N440.76 , that’s  a hefty N13,219,650,000, roughly !!

    Finally, a UK- born Nigerian  , Kemi Badenoch was named by new British Prime Minister Boris Johnson as his cabinet member.  Agreed the name Badenoch is not known to any Nigerian tribe ; still, it’s all joy and pride in Kemi who was before now a member of the UK Parliament.  Sms/WhatsApp 07055547031 Twitter @mikky_princess

  • 5 ways to know she’s ready for you to propose

    Even though the old saying goes “when you know, you know,” there are certain signs that it’s time to pop the question that you should look for. Here are ways to ensure she wants you to propose.

    1. She talks about your future together: This is one of the biggest signs your girlfriend wants to take your relationship to the “next step” and get engaged. If she constantly talks about your life together, possibly including buying a house, having children, moving somewhere, etc., she can definitely see a future with you and her being so open about this probably means that she wants you to propose.

    2. She brings you to every family gathering: If you two get married, you will officially become a part of each other’s family. If your girlfriend has been thinking about getting married, she’s probably made efforts to invite you to her family get-togethers. She wants her family to get to know you and vice-versa because she knows that if you get married, you’ll be part of this family! If your girlfriend is obviously pushing to include you in her family, this could be a sign that she wants you to officially join the family, meaning she wants you to propose.

    Read More: Why Nigerian men delay marriage proposals

    3. She starts the ‘baby’ talk, even if on a lighter note: This is one topic that even some married couples struggle to address. If your girlfriend randomly drops hints about how she likes babies or shares about her ideas of motherhood, it means she is comfortable talking about children with you. Remember, motherhood is not an easy topic to talk about with anyone unless a woman is comfortable with the person.

    4. She drops hints about how her friends are getting married: Does your girl keeps reminding you about her married friends and frequently expresses how happy she is for them? This might be a good sign that she looks at marriage with a positive attitude and takes inspiration from her married friends. It’s time to fetch the ring if she is surrounded by married couples and she loves spending time with them.

    5. She tells you: If she’s ready to get engaged, not all signs your girlfriend gives you will necessarily be “indirect.” In fact, she might just be straight-forward and tell you that she really wants to get engaged to you. This “sign” is difficult to misinterpret – there’s really no denying that she wants you to propose.

  • Killings reactions to the reaction: Obasanjo’s letter, Jonathan’s suggestions & the UK Parliament debate

    For the sake of Nigeria and Nigerians , I pray that God may  grant you, as our President the wisdom, the understanding,  the political will and the courage to do what is right when it is right and without fear or favour.  May He open to us a window of opportunity that we can still use to prevent the worst happening.

    Olusegun Obasanjo

    Substantially, that was the conclusion of the Monday Morning Missive from the former president in his letter to President Buhari on Insecurity in Nigeria, this past week. Obasanjo talked about the state of insecurity  in the country,  and made suggestions on how to address the challenges. Obasanjo said, “ Herdsmen/ farmers crises and menace started with government treating the issue with cuddling gloves instead of hammer. It has festered and spread. Today it has developed into banditry, kidnapping, armed robbery and killings all over the country.

    This is not about the former president; I can tell us the rest of the world is watching. Insecurity in Nigeria has been the hot topic on Vatican  television and in the Vatican News Agency. Actual events here feature regularly on Aljazeera as well as other international news organisations. And the matter has been debated upon at the UK Parliament , at the House of Lords. Precisely on June 28,2018, more than one full year ago, Lord Alton of Liverpool (CB) raised the issue thus: “To ask Her Majesty’s Government what assessment they have made of the continuing violence between communities and armed groups in Nigeria “.

    In fact the Noble Lord,  Lord Alton even introduced the debate as one of ‘tragic topicality’.

    Sad to say, the currency is still the same. We even  now  have some countries giving their nationals  travel advisories to Nigeria.

    Former President Obasanjo’s lengthy despatch  has come after the brutal murder,  upper weekend of Mrs Funke Olakunri, the daughter of the Afenifere chieftain Reuben Fasoranti , which appears to be the last straw, for many. Since then, a lot of Nigerians have spoken out on various platforms, expressing how fed up they are with the unending condolence messages and visits by the federal government, to the various places successively hit by the mindless killings. Many are wondering why,  after several meetings between  the president and service chiefs; the situation seems to be worsening,  instead of improving.

    Well,  like Senator Shehu Sani says of Obasanjo’s reaction: The Messenger Is Not Handsome,  But The Message Is. Obasanjo warns of impending doom on a national scale if action is not quickly taken.

    “The President must be seen to be addressing this issue with utmost seriousness and with more dispatch and getting all hands on deck to help.  If there is failure, the principal responsibility will be that of the President,  and no one else”- Obasanjo’s words.

    Of specific interest here is the solution proffered by the former president.  He says, “Like the issue of security, government should open up on discussion,  debate and dialogue as part of consultation at different levels and the outcome of such deliberations should be collated to form inputs into a national conference “.

    Of similar interest here is the reaction at this time of another former president; immediate past President Goodluck Jonathan.

    From what he says,  he does believe in the meetings being held over security. But he too has a solution to offer, in 2fold. One is the implementation of the 2014 National Conference,  the other is the deployment of technology in a special unit on Insecurity.

    He says, “ There is nothing wrong holding  specific meetings to look at the issue of security. I believe the federal and state governments need to have a new approach,  deploy technology and have more money to protect our people. “

    “ In 2014 when I was president,  we had a national conference where a number of things were discussed. The issue of security,  state and regional police were discussed. I always believe that the government should look at that report; it was not written by me“.

    Examining the positions of both former leaders,  a common thread can be found , and that is the reference to a national conference.  On this,  I must say that it is most surprising to me hear from Dr Obasanjo , who held a robust national conference and who jettisoned the entire recommendations  therefrom and continued with his administration as if nothing had even happened- himself  to  be  calling  for ANOTHER NATIONAL CONFERENCE ?? I find it indefensible. I also beg to disagree. It is equally  saddening to see that the convener of the 2014 national conference did not as much as initiate the process of implementing even one of the aspects of the recommendations- maybe security,  to start with?!

    Having said that,  I believe that the recommendations of the 2014  national   conference should be adopted and APPLIED this time. The solutions to many of our national issues are contained in that document.

    To conclude,  I appreciate the Noble Lords of the UK Parliament for maintaining continuous discussions on the issue of Insecurity in Nigeria. Back home, I  uphold that there is an urgent need for critical and effective intervention.

    Delay is – Dangerous. Devastating. Deadly.

    07055547031 WhatsApp/sms Twitter @mikky_princess

  • PILLOW TALK

    What happens when you step on emotional toes? Well, that, unfortunately, is Moyo’s predicament at the moment. Slim, tall, with a flawless skin and curves in the right places, she has succeeded in stealing hearts from dusty emotional shelves.

    Why not! An eye (heart) for an eye (heart). Scroll down memory lane and you also find that our dear friend was a victim; valuable hearts had vanished courtesy of some emotional shoplifters.

    Recently, she ran out of luck and was declared ‘wanted’. She took to her heels and tried to find solace in the emotional jungle. The rugged owner of a missing heart did not give up; she staked everything to have her pound of flesh from the hawk – the one that had caused her so much pain. Strategically, she combed the nooks and crannies carefully and finally found the queen of heart, looking remorseful.

    This was not the best time for sermons, and so she was beaten to a state of coma, with memorable scars. Jungle justice! It is the norm and so it is best to tread with caution.

    If you do not want to be an emotional prey, then you must be in charge of the terrain. Don’t also bite more than you can chew. Always make sure that Cupid’s arrow is on target, there is no harm trying again and again. Arrows? Yes, they are symbols that we see all the time. From the street signs, road markings and markings on the doors indicating direction to a choice location. This also reminds you of Jeffrey Archer’s book, A Quiver full of Arrows. Fortunes are made and squandered, honour betrayed and redeemed and love lost and rediscovered. In this collection of short stories, you find the passion that drive men and women to love and to hate.

    A good hunter must have a quiver filled with sharp emotional arrows (strategies). Love birds need different arrows for the different phase(s) in their relationships. Arrows also have their different functions and you must understand the terrain. When you use a wrong arrow for the wrong target, it is not likely to work.

    What are you ‘chasing’ would determine the type of arrows required to achieve your emotional aims and objectives. In the emotional jungle, you run into all kinds of hearts. Hearts that are as gentle as dove, hearts that are alluring as well as romantic. On the other side of the emotional divides are lions, crocodiles, hyenas and antelopes.

    Sadly, the emotional wilderness can be a death trap if you are not careful. You are likely to run into trouble when you least expect it to happen. On the prowl are hearts that are as cunning as a fox or hearts that are as wild as the tiger.

    If you are unlucky to fall hopelessly and helplessly with hearts in this category, then you must have your quiver filled with deadly emotional arrows. The arrows you choose would ultimately determine who becomes the prey in the emotional jungle.

    Without the required arrow in your custody, you are likely to be lily-livered and abandon the heart that you have been longing for, lusting after and wishing you had for keeps. Winners are usually wild with emotions and aware of all the tricks (arrows) in the quiver during the emotional hunting expedition.

    Learn the ropes, improvise, as well as update yourself with skills that would give you the sobriquet as hunter of hearts like lions and not just hunting for emotional ants, mosquitoes, cockroaches or rats. The crux of the matter is the hearts in this category are not worth dying for.

    Surprisingly, in the emotional terrain, women are better hunters. They have mastered the skills ultimately used it to capture and get what they want. In the woman’s emotional quiver are tears, smiles, patience, endurance, nagging, as well as intrigues.

    Having the right arrows without making use of them is as good as not having them at all. In addition, a good heart hunter must know how to put the emotional arrow on the bow and draw it back to meet its target. The further you draw the bow (love), the more distance it goes or covers.

    You therefore cover more distance by showing love consistently, sharing your affection and substance dutifully. It is very important to talk nicely to the person you think you love, claim you love or that just makes your heart skip a bit all the time.

    Interestingly, the best emotional arrows aim at trust. It is the arrow that controls all the other arrows in your quiver. You can be sure that once this affectionate arrow is missing in your quiver, then you would miss the target. Love without trust isn’t love. Like a doubting Thomas, you are going to see a dove in the emotional woods and imagine that what you are looking at is a tiger.

    When you see a rabbit whispering sweet nothings into your ears, instead of turning around to caress this cupid-send angel, all you see is a heart luring you to the rabbit hole, to be strangled, cleaned up and adorned with condiments before ending in the pepper soup pot as ‘bush meat’.

  • PILLOWTALK

    HAVE you been to Love’s molehill? Making a mountain out of Love’s molehill reminds you of the idiom that refers to making too much of a minor issue. It could also refer to exaggerating the importance of something. So in relationships, you discover that a number of people fall apart because of things that they should have overlooked, things that should have been inconsequential to love matter.

    Instead of showering the one they claim to love with affection, what we do is to look out for their mistakes, what they left undone as well as what we think they are likely to do. Unfortunately, that is why we always run into problems. Instead of holding on to the power of positive thinking, Love’s molehill is usually clustered and cluttered with negatives. The molehill, interestingly, is a conial mound of loose soil raised by small burrowing mammals, including moles.

    The love animal thinks like these burrowing mammals, we keep on unearthing things that break the heart. You keep on fishing in troubled emotional waters and result is the heartbreaks we have these days.

    It’s actually a long, tiring journey and you need perseverance to survive the odds. You also need a trusty road map and guidebook to benefit from the experience of those who have been through the bumpy road, climbing emotional hills with stress, getting lost in valley of lust while a few make it to the mountaintop.

    Solomon is looking for a babe, someone he can be happy with 24/7. Happily he tells his friends the type of gal he is looking for and they laughed at him. Dreamer? “You are just too ambitious, you need to look around and if you find someone who fits into your target. If the babe meets up at least 50 or 60 per cent, then you are okay. But if you insist on having all the details a 100 per cent then it may just be a wild goose chase.”

    A gap tooth and every smiling chic. This can really be a great source of inspiration in any relationship. A frowning babe is not a great companion. She’s going to drag you to the bottomless pit and make the whole idea very uninteresting. A bad bargain anyday.

    What is he going to do with a babe whose eyeballs are flat? “No way. It’s more exciting when you are in a relationship with someone that excites you. The eyeball is the first contact; you must be able to connect positively at this point. If the one you want to spend the rest of your life with possessed eyeballs that are not attractive, then it’s not likely to work.”

    That is not all. This dude also wants his babe to be intelligent or close to a genius at work.

    Insatiable? Not really. A guy with class should go after what his heart’s desires. His dream is unique, not for ordinary souls. This dream gal must be a pot pourri of some sort. An angel in the midst of other angels, something worth having forever. A diamond must be forever.

    Well, we can’t really blame him. So, are we saying that it may not be possible to have just one babe with all these assets? No, we just can’t make that lazy assumption. Let him try, try and try again. He may just be lucky to find this missing rib somewhere and somehow.

    Like a molehill, Love can be very difficult to define.

    Most times, you may just have to make something

    out of nothing. You need to make the best of whatever situation you find yourself and make things work, if you can. Things are different from what we used to have in the past, obviously signs of the love times.

    Two young lovebirds decided to go in search of a good Love nest. Somewhere, they can live happily thereafter. Of course, they were not sure where true Love was, they went to a love doctor for diagnosis. The doctor did the necessary tests to be sure that they were compatible. Once there was a confirmation that they both had enough of cupid’s arrows in their veins to take them through this strenuous Love journey, it was time to be practical.

    Here he took them though a shimmering path that got higher and deeper with every step. It was fun and the two lovebirds laughed, sang, danced and shed tears of joy. The sun was shining brilliantly and fragrant wildflowers were blossoming abundantly all around them as the skipped merrily around the path of Love.

    Just when you thought they had found Love, the unexpected happened; the euphoria was interrupted by a voice from the past.

    “Susan how can you do this to me? How can you bite the Love fingers that fed you? Why did you break a loving heart?” Yes, that was the voice of an old flame. It was a sad voice and it was also warning the new Romeo. The message here was that he had been a victim and the new guy was going to fall prey soon.

    Our queen is a fair weather lover, the type who shows affection only when there are goodies in the emotional bag; once the bag becomes deflated then she is going to take to her heels. Utopia? Well, you would find out as you sink deeper and deeper into this Love quagmire.

  • PILLOWTALK

    Rape, rape and more stories about rape. Yes, the sad story is that it has been with us for so long. Memories of a heart in tears, memories of a heart in disarray! Not the usual emotional tales of kisses, hugs and poetic vibes.

    Perhaps, what comes to mind here is the poem, The Rape of the Lock, written by Alexander Pope, a social satire. Interestingly, it beams a searchlight into human weaknesses, follies, foibles, and absurdities, specifically on the life of the aristocratic ladies of the eighteenth century.

    Fast forward the emotional tape to the 21st century and you would see that things have indeed changed in so many ways. While some people strive towards perfection in the emotional terrain, others are crude in their emotional attitude; they just want to grab and grab everything, those freely given and those that must be forcefully taken away.

    Unfortunately, the church has been on the emotional cross in the past few weeks. First, it was Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of The COZA church and beautiful Busola Dakolo. It happened a long, long time ago, according to the story. Unfortunately, the pain never heals, it doesn’t matter how long it happened. The man at the centre of the emotional storm has denied and it is left for those gifted with unraveling ‘the emotional truth to decode whether it happened or not.

    Just while the emotional corridor was grappling with this tearful emotional story and the effect on the people around them and rape saga breaks. This time around, it is another member of the church claiming that Pastor T.B Joshua raped her. She claimed to have been raped over and over in The Synagogue.

    Another emotional scoop, and tongues began to wag in different directions again. A statement saying the woman is not mentally stable comes in to douse the tension.

    Love is a process and it requires affection and a caring heart. Unfortunately, things are falling apart and the emotional centre no longer holds.

    Intimacy, affection and all the usual emotional ‘ceremonies are missing in action. That takes us to the emotional tide, arguments and counter arguments about rape.” Who done it? Where, how and why? Interestingly, it is usually very difficult to get down to unravel the rape mystery; someone, somewhere is hiding some information and you may or never get to the root of the rape matter. Blackmail also is an accomplished something and the more you look, the less you see.

    Africa has the highest prevalence rate of child sexual abuse around 34.4 per cent. Between 2012 and 2013, about 30 per cent of women in Nigeria experienced one form of domestic violence or another

    Findings from a national survey carried out in 2014 on violence against children in Nigeria confirmed one in four females reported experiencing sexual violence in childhood, with approximately 70% reporting more than one incident of sexual violence. In the same study, it was found that 24.8% of females’ ages 18 to 24 years experienced sexual abuse prior to age 18 of which 5.0% sought help, with only 3.5% receiving any services.

    There  are so many cases that comes to mind here. One of such is Imade who was raped at seven years old by her teacher after school.

    “He [told] me I was a smart and beautiful girl and gave me little sums of money,” says Imade, now 24. One day, he raped her.

    Imade told her mother, who complained to the school. “They fired him, but that was all,” she says.

    The teacher wasn’t prosecuted despite being referred to the police. But in Nigeria, this is by no means rare.

    The country has an extremely low conviction rate for rape and sexual abuse, despite articles in recent years.

    A human rights lawyer who has been handling sexual assault cases for over a decade, says “cases are not effective enough … because some [instances of] rape are not recognized in the eyes of law. Sometimes, after medical examination [when] we find no signs of force or bruising, the law does not recognize that as rape.”

    But the shortcomings in Nigeria’s legal system – where the burden to prove rape or abuse often lies in evidence of it also being a violent attack – are not the only challenges facing survivors. Nigeria, home to an estimated 170 million people, has just a handful of facilities dedicated to the care and support of survivors.

  • PILLOWTALK

    HE works hard for his money; so hard for his money. Bayo is not the typical guy that you see around. He is one of those guys that you can call dedicated and not be in doubt at all. At work, he is known for the value that he adds to everything that comes his way.

    Friends and family members know that once you give him a task, you can actually go to bed with your two eyes closed because he would certainly deliver beyond your expectations. When he isn’t at work, you can be sure to find him on his small farm located behind the house. Here he tends to a variety of plants and you can see the same level of dedication at work here and the outputs usually call for celebration, each time it’s harvest time.

    However, he has noticed some invasion recently. Some birds and animals have become spoilers here and it is getting so irritating that he decided to set a trap for them. This morning, Bayo is back on the farm (his heart) and it looks like the thief has been caught. He gets closer and to Bayo’s dismay, it is his poor chicken (his babe) that walks into the trap. He rushes over to set it free but something has gone wrong, it is limping and may never walk properly again.

    That scenario actually captures what two lovebirds are passing through at the moment. The guy at the centre of the love drama is Bayo and he has played his part very well, working round the clock to make things work well.

    Unfortunately for him, some desperate folks are doing everything possible to take away the love of his life from him. The more he tries to be in charge, the more desperate they have become. Determined to wrestle this emotional ‘loot’, he maps out a number of strategies which ultimately affects the heart in question. Now that there are visible scars in the relationship, he has two options: “To let go or go back to the drawing board for the way forward.”

    He certainly does not want to lose this girl and suddenly, he decided to go to her and find out if she feels exactly the same way he is feeling about the relationship. It was a good decision and there he found that she had also been worried about the turn of events. It was a great encounter and they became united in the quest to forge ahead against all the odds. That determination was all they needed and from that point, love conquered all.

    Interestingly, when it comes to healthy relationships, there is no one-size-fits-all advice. You may need to try, try and try again before you finally discover how to get on the right path and make your relationship work. A number of lovebirds run away from a very good relationship and end up with a partner they can never get along with.

    At that point, it is already too late and they become stranded on the emotional corridor, hanging on top of hearts that can never make their dreams come true.

    The crux of the matter here is that not every relationship survives the test of time and there will always be moments when you would feel the need to finally give up and let go. However, it’s not also that easy to just drop everything and leave because you’re talking about something or someone that once made you the happiest person in the world – so you are stuck in the frustrating and often heartbreaking dilemma between staying and saying good bye.

    A good relationship is more than something we want – it’s something we need to be our happiest, healthiest, most productive selves. But at home or work, supportive, fulfilling relationships don’t come automatically. They take an investment in time and energy as well as social skills that can be learned.

    If you are lonely, long for close friendships or a better understanding of co-workers. However, if romantic relationships have disappointed you, there are steps you can take to repair old connections and build meaningful new ones.

    You know you can manipulate someone into being your friend or partner without ever feeling genuinely connected with them. Experts will tell you that a relationship is a consequence of a connection.

    You cannot afford to give up yet because as long as you both believe in your love for each other, there will always be a rainbow after every storm. Maybe you just need a break from everything? Take all the time that you need – both of you.

    Trying to fix an almost broken relationship can be emotionally taxing, and so you must take it easy. You also need to talk about what you are passing through in the relationship and be open and honest with each other. You must communicate and be honest and truthful about how you really feel.

    On your part, you must also be ready to admit your mistakes and have faith in the fact that it’s not yet too late to fix the problem. So, take it easy. In addition, you also need to talk about what you are passing through in the relationship and be open and honest with each other. Tell them about the time when they hurt you but you’re too scared to show it. On your part, you must also be ready to admit your mistakes and have faith in the fact that it’s not yet too late to fix the problem.

  • Raising a voice for the Nigerian girl

    MY darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    When I keep emphasising the dangers of fornication one of which is transference of virtues and what should make you shine and prosper in life, a lot of you probably think I’m telling fables! I PITY TOO MANY GIRLS IN AFRICA! A lot more people would be at the deliverance ground again this weekend looking for their lost glory! Do you think it’s easy to get back your original??? Some of you were even graciously ordained by God to marry Kings, Princes, the world’s most honourable men but because of your ojukokuro – sheer greed and myopia, you end up trading your future for worthless things! Haa…haa…haa…girls….now check out the recent experience of a young lady below!

    A Twitter user narrated a story of how her neighbour’s daughter escaped being killed by ritualists after she was kidnapped by a man she went to visit in Abuja.

    She wrote: “My neighbour’s daughter that was kidnapped on the 28th of September just returned home this morning crying. She was kidnapped to be used for rituals but the native doctor said a superior power already used her soul for rituals and she can’t be used again, because she’s USELESS.

    The victim said she travelled to Abuja to meet a friend she had known for some time. On getting there, the man was richer than she expected and she became suspicious as he couldn’t be so rich from selling only perfume oils.

    They spent the night together and she was only getting credit alerts but he didn’t want to have sex with her because he was saving her for rituals. On the third day, he told her he would be travelling and that she could stay in a hotel till she was ready to return to her base!

    She said someone woke her up at 2 o’clock the following morning and all she could remember was following the person, only to find herself in a shrine and the only person she could recognise was her host. According to her, there were other girls there too. She was furious, trying to ask how she got there but nobody was answering her. She said she watched as they enchanted victims and noticed the ones they took in never came back.

    She said she was told to sit inside a calabash but after she did their bidding nothing happened. Thereafter, the native doctor tied a leaf around her neck and screamed saying they brought a corpse. He then called her host (the guy who invited her to Abuja) and slapped him in anger telling him it appeared he wasn’t serious about performing the rituals and that he had only 48hrs to provide someone or he would run mad because the girl he brought had already been used!

    According to him, she had been used previously and worth nothing. He also said anyone who comes in contact with her sexually would carry the same curse she’s carrying, and that’s how it would be till eternity. He then called two of his attendants to throw her away. They came and carried her away.

    According to her, they dropped her in the middle of the road, believing that a trailer or truck will drive by and crush her to death. But luckily for her, a driver saw her in the middle of the road naked and stopped. He took off his shirt, covered her, moved her off the road and drove off!

    She said she kept seeing people pass by but couldn’t say a word. They probably thought she was insane. As God would have it, a relative saw her there and called her father and informed him that he saw his daughter sitting by the road looking like she had lost her senses. Her father was shocked because they had been trying to reach her on phone to no avail and her room mates in school didn’t know her whereabouts.

    They found her somewhere in Ogun State and she came home this morning. Her parents are making preparations to take her back to Ijebu to trace where and who used her for rituals. Imagine having a beautiful face and nothing good is coming your way because nobody is seeing you, someone made you a walking corpse because you’re desperately in love with money.”

    Girls…girls…girls…flee, flee, flee from pre-marital sex, you’re a gold mine! Stop allowing men to steal your stars and make you cry on earth when you’re born to shine and enjoy life! Wait on God and you’ll manifest in good time! May the above story not be your portion in Jesus mighty name!

  • Still in doubt

    WHEN you think about the desert, the image that readily comes to mind is a state of emptiness. In a love desert, you would be thinking of a lost love and trying to fill in the gaps in your own way. It is at this stage that the one at the centre of an emotional storm becomes a wanderer. No matter how hard you try, it may just be difficult to get your bearing.

    Even when it seems like you have gotten a substitute, you just can’t let go and your mind just keeps wandering and wandering. But you can move on when you forget the negatives and build on the positive emotions that you had in the past. Here

    you can scroll down memory lane recalling the sweet memories you encountered here and there to get the emotional peace that you deserve. Dreaming about it would certainly lift your spirit taking you close to the fairy tale stories that you have heard about. Still in doubt? No need to do that to yourself. Relax and cross over a bountiful emotional harvest. The type that happens once in a while and one that brings lots of happiness. Here, you would find trees and shrubs of affection growing and churning out love branches that inspire and affect others. From the trees, you reap fruits that fill the hearts with tears of joy.

    Alternatively, you may find yourself stranded in an emotional desert. Here all you are bound to be feeling is a state of hopelessness, helplessness and rejection. But the big question is what where you hoping to get in this emotional Sahara in the first place? It is obvious that the emotional cargo that you have decided to pitch your tent with is as stranded as you are. No matter how hard you try, you guys aren’t going to go far.

    The one you’re desperately trying to cruise with it has little or nothing to offer and this state of dryness isn’t going to do you anyone any good. To get a better experience, it is better for you to move out of the desert to locate someone who would provide emotional sunshine as well as take you to the next level.

    In Coleridge’s Poem, “The Rime of the ancient Mariner”, the Wandering Albatross is actually referred to as ‘bird with good omen’.  Here we are also told about the metaphor of ‘an albatross’ around his neck indicating an unwanted burden causing anxiety or hindrance.

    Interestingly, in the days when sailing was popular, the bird often accompanied ships for days, not merely following it but wheeling in wide circles around it without ever being observed to land on the water. It continued its flight, apparently not tired, in tempestuous as well as modest weather. It is one of the largest birds in the world with the largest wingspan measuring up to about 3.5 metres. From the records, you would also find that the bird is one of the best studied species of bird in the world. Distance travelled each year is hard to measure but one banded bird was recovered travelling about 6000 km in twelve days. They spent most of their life on the wing returning to land only to court a mate and to breed.

    The behaviour of the bird is also very interesting having a range of displays from screams, whistles, grunts and bill clapping. When courting, they actually spread their wings, wave their heads as well as rap their bills together.

    Interestingly, the bones from its wings are used to produce needles, tobacco pipe stems fishhooks and flutes that would ultimately churn out romantic lyrics and songs.

    Of course, you would agree with yours truly that there are a number of romantic connections with this type of bird. However, if this bird is taken away to a lonely desert, so many things would happen. First, it is going to lose its clear white colour at adulthood. Life without emotional water can be a nightmare and, of course, life in the desert is going to be very lonely.

    Instead of languishing in the desert, it is better to take emotional flight with a great pal. On the other hand when you want to take a flight, it is better to seek emotional refuge in a love garden. Here there would be a variety of fruits to choose from and you would certainly get something you desire.

    Conversely, if you are in an emotional desert, all you would find are dry bones.  Nothing good is ever going to come out of this kind of relationship because the environment is stiff and the dust of confusion won’t take you far. You would definitely be far from your low height and all the lullabies that you are used to won’t sound nice in this environment. To make a headway, this lovebird must move out of this environment to a better environment to look and feel good.

  • Girls, stop accepting baits from men!!!

    DEAR woman of virtue, God is just starting a brand new thing in your life and it will blossom to the nooks and cranny of this world in Jesus mighty name! As you make additions to His kingdom, God is keeping records on your account. God bless you ma.

    Olugbenga Yeku

     

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    Your posts are very inspiring and have gone a long way in shaping my life to what it is now! You are a blessing to me and so many others out there! I pray the grace of God upon you will never depart. More grace ma!

    Odeyemi  S. Modupeola Joy

    Dear Aunty Temi,

    I’m a guy but I love reading your articles. I’ve been dating a girl who claims she’s a virgin and wish to remain so and because of this, I decided not to bother her about sex. Since we began dating, I have spent my school fees and project fees on her because of her pride. But all of a sudden, she changed and said that she can’t marry me because I am a Christian. Now, I have decided to force her to have sex with me unless she refunds all the money I’ve ever given her and returns the Infinix phone I presented to her on her birthday. If she doesn’t, I would rape her and deflower her. Aunty, please reply now before I take action. Thanks.

    Bosun

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    When I read Bosun’s text, I flew up from my bed and immediately called him. I had to plead with him in God’s name to ignore the girl and move on with his life. I also subtly berated him for giving out his school and project fees. He didn’t have to do that because he’s not the girl’s brother, uncle or father who has to deny himself to his detriment to send his sister or daughter to school. After pleading with him and encouraging him to leave things to God and also expect a reward from God for not taking out his revenge on the girl, he promised to let her be.

    It’s good to be generous but not when the generosity is in expectation of having a sexual relationship. Unfortunately that appears to be the order of the day. Men are not Santa Clauses and this is a time when an average girl would do anything to have some money so 90% of them expect you to be ready to give them some sexual favour in return for their largesse on you. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t asked you out or made any amorous advances. In fact, the smarter ones would keep dazzling you with their generosity just to conquer your heart and weaken your resistance so by the time they are ready to launch their attack on you, you are left with little or no choice to become their sex slave and most especially when you are so carried away by what you’ve been enjoying and can’t imagine living a life without these goodies.

    A lot of you could say after all the entire world is engaging in it, your parents could even be encouraging you but I tell you, you are polluting yourself and may be denying yourself what could make you rich enough to buy yourself an aircraft and more before age 40! Why can’t you preserve your goodness and in future enjoy what all the men chasing you can never give you? The world is dark and highly occulted! We read about boys who are internet fraudsters who make money with fetishism to the extent of using their mothers for rituals! Day in day out we hear of girls who went for parties and never returned and so many ladies have had their virtues and what would make them shine in life wiped out in one fell swoop after sexual intercourse! May your glory not be reduced from WORLD CLASS to GRASS ROOT in Jesus mighty name!

     

    For our sisters in captivity

    THE voice of God that shaketh the wilderness of Kadesh and discovereth the forests, roar at the enemies of Nigeria and release Chibok and Dapchi girls in Jesus name. Amen.

     

    FINAL WORD

    CHASTITY does not belong to the past. It saves you a lot of trouble, preserves your beautiful destiny and stands you out from the crowd. You are better off not engaging in pre-marital sex. Stay chaste!
    Evangelist Temilolu O. Okeowo is the founder and Head girl of The Girls Apostolic Ministry of All Nations, an apostolic ministry for girls in their teens and twenties, and Girls Club of Nigeria, an NGO for Nigerian girls aimed at influencing a positive change. She published her debut-book for girls -THE BEAUTY OF LIFE – as an undergraduate and has other books and publications. She was called to the Nigerian Bar in 2003 and is a Certified Forensics Examiner.