IN any relationship where one person depends on the other to be his or her own parachute and the other accepts this role, then both will fall to the ground”.
This famous love quote from Guy Finley tells us that lovebirds must be involved and know what they want in a relationship. It is a process and each step they take would determine if they qualify to move to the next stage in the love arena. One other principle is that you cannot afford to leave the survival of a relationship to one person, all love hands must be on deck.
The month has indeed come to an end and like every other thing lovers need to take stock. Has it been worth the while? Was the emotional stress interesting? Would you do the same things you did last month again this month? Or are you thinking of changing your love strategies, your partner or the environment. What has the environment got to do with it? A lot! In the land of the emotionally blind, you are not likely to go far.
For a lot of people, the activities that they were part of during the year would be interesting and exciting if they had to play back the tape. Memories of love, memories of a good friend, memories of affection and everything you dreamt of just falling in place. That of course would be a wonderful tape to play back any day and any time.
Unfortunately, it is not every experience that goes this way. Some tapes bring back miserable memories, tapes you never ever want to lay your hands on, not to talk of even attempting to play on the turn table. Maureen is feeling this way and she is trying to fashion out a love resolution for the coming year. She staked everything for a relationship that is just not working. It has been a tale of tears and hurting.
So what is she going to do with love that’s stagnant? “I have decided to move out of this love boat, it is just not working. There is no point trying to please someone who is no longer interested in the relationship.”
That’s a hard love truth. An emotional ‘defector’ in waiting? Well, why not! After all, people defect in political parties too and the question we need to ask is why you would defect from one party to another if all is well.
Tales of emotional cross carpeting and defection can happen when your emotional party is in shambles. The twosome is falling apart and they are likely to be feasting on the negatives instead of the things that used to bind them together. So, the alliance breaks up to a point where they are on the fringe, every bit of affection that was treasured has been destroyed and the word loyalty thrown to the dogs.
Physical, verbal and emotional battles recorded as exhibits, all depicting that they have come to a watershed in their emotional history. The differences and gaps have really widened and it is so obvious that they have come to the end of this love road.
Naturally, people would defect when they are dissatisfied or looking for something better than what they have at the moment. You want to look elsewhere when the emotional climate is unstable, unfavourable or challenging. At that point, the person would be in search of an emotional ally, someone who shares the same dreams as well as have a common emotional agenda.
However, if it is something you can work on to get better, then it would be worthwhile.
Like every other business, winners never quit. So you try, try and try again. Your level of perseverance would therefore determine how far you are going to go in any relationship. One basic question we need to ask at this point is how do you conquer a heart that is unwillingly? First you need to ask yourself if it is what you really want. Once you are sure that it is worth the while then you can begin to map out your emotional strategies.
If you have someone you really care about, then you need to show it. Love is reciprocal; you can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t captivate the person you treasure then, you would be surprised to find a change, all of a sudden he or she would become “distant” and withdrawn and you just may not be able to figure out why.
There are times when you begin to develop strong feelings for somebody and deep down you are so sure that this is the person that you want to be with him. But you can do this alone; your emotional partner should swing in the same direction to record success.
Have you felt like he’s afraid to commit to you, or took you for granted, or didn’t value you as a person?
Are you also apprehensive about giving yourself emotionally and physically to a man because you’re afraid he won’t do the same? Or worse, that he’ll just leave for no reason at all? You need to understand the personality before falling helplessly in love with him or her.
It’s a fact: relationships with some people so often start off “hot and heavy”, but then quickly and unexpectedly turn ice-cold.
Nearly all women have had the experience of feeling like they’ve finally found something “real” with a man, and sharing themselves both emotionally and physically, only to have him suddenly pull away.
