The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • Playboys hard to keep

    It”s a sunny day and the heat just won’t let you be. Stepping out on the verandah for some fresh air did some magic and you begin to get calm again? A few metres away, your eyes stray to a twosome. Two little buddies wrapped in their world. One has a pretty Barbie doll which she adores and clings to affectionately.

    The other grabs the dull and runs away. Perhaps, she is also in love with this mesmerising doll and they run around while yours truly monitor to find out who it finally ends up with. Surprised, the girl who took the dull is exhausted running around and finally throws the doll into the gutter and that is the end of the battle to win the doll (heart).Why did the person who didn’t care about the fragile doll take it only to discard shortly afterwards?

    The owner of the doll cries and cries while the hijacker could not be bothered. So why grab it only to throw it away? you wonder. That is exactly what happens in the emotional space, a place you just cannot understand or appreciate the intention of the face (heart) smiling in your direction at a glance. Is it for real, could it be some distraction or just revenge?

    The truth of the matter sometimes is that some don’t even know what they want. For Kemi, this is precisely what is happening to her at the moment. She has been in a relationship for about three years now and just cannot decode where it is heading to. The guy in question has so many other admirers and it looks like they have no future together. Playboys are hard to keep; often for everybody and nobody in particular.

    Then one day the bone of her bones emerged and fell head over heels for her.

    “I met Dauda at the bank and since we saw each other that day, we just liked each other. He is always talking to me on phone and there is always a date or a party to attend. I have never dated a guy like that in my life, and, somehow, I kept wondering where this Romeo had been all this while.”

    Her world changed dramatically and everyone could feel the love thing around our dear friend. “I began to give myself more attention unlike in the past. I changed my wardrobe, became more adventurous with my hairstyles and started attending a gym to keep fit.”

    Our babe continued to glow and then a few weeks ago, the jilted lover boy emerged from the blues. Unknown to her, he had taken some of her naked photos whilst they dated. The photos were uploaded online and everyone feasted on it. What a shame! Could this also be the end of the road for her relationship with Dauda? Yes, it was. He gave her a call 24 hours later telling her that he had something he wanted them to discuss.

    “I couldn’t sleep all night and I began to imagine the things he wanted to tell me. Of course, the likely option is that he wanted to talk about the photographs that have become a nightmare.”

    They had lunch and then it was time to talk. The words took so long in coming and when they finally came, he started with, ‘I am sorry, been trying to summon the courage to tell you all this while. Guess this is the best time to do this. I was engaged before I met you but we had some issues and decided to give ourselves some time.

    ‘Now, we are back together and I have come to the realisation that she is the one that I love, not you. What I feel for you is quite different. Once again, I am sorry.’

    Just like that! No, it must be the photographs that have upset him. He never behaved as if there was a substitute somewhere. In all of it, she was the loser in the game. A game she played carelessly, winning nothing and gaining nothing. She was the fool in the whole arrangement but somehow she made up her mind not to remain a victim forever. Love must be somewhere; the solution, of course, would be to try, try and try again.

    Wait a minute. Isn’t love supposed to be for better and for worse? Couldn’t he have forgiven her and forgotten the mess.

    Now, she is back to the emotional classroom, learning the romantic alphabets all over again. Not so easy, the words aren’t flowing properly at all, stammering all the way.

    The principle that kept our dear friend going was her determination, clinging onto the wild world of imaginations, allowing her imaginations to take her where she wants her heart to be and wishing for a better heart. Happiness finally came from that self-conscious awareness that brought Sina, the heart who loved her unconditionally.

  • GIRLS AND THEIR NUDE PICTURES

    GIRLS AND THEIR NUDE PICTURES

    DEAR Aunty Temilolu, I have always wanted to keep my virginity till my wedding night but never had anyone to convince me I am toeing the right path. However, God, in His miraculous way, made me read your article. Keep it up sister. You are God-send and I know He’ll never let you down. Thank you so much aunty Temilolu.

    Lauretta, 17

     

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    Thank you for your prayers and text messages. They’ve helped me a lot and your column keeps encouraging me to stay chaste.

    Ivie, 18

     

    Dear Temilolu,

    I was just reading your article and I just thought in my mind “I love this woman.” You are amazing. Your articles are spot on and very encouraging and I admire your level of spirituality and hope to attain that in future. Keep up the good work and God bless you sooo much.

    Anonymous

     

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    I met this guy in school and we began dating. We love each other but the problem is that he wants sex and my nude pictures. I keep saying NO but right now he says he won’t chat or call me unless I’m ready to grant his wishes. What should I do please? I really love him.

    19-year-old 200L medical student

     

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    When I tell you it is safer not to be romantically involved with a boy in your teens when you should be laying a solid foundation for your life at times as perilous as this, you think I am too hard while some adults think I’m being unrealistic. Don’t forget, “as you lay your bed so you lie on it.” Too many adults are having a very hard time in life today because of the wrong choices they made when they were young and in love. It’s absolutely normal to fall in love, want to be loved and enjoy being fussed over. However, you need to pursue your destiny and guard it with all your heart so you don’t get into a fatal accident which could divert the course of your destiny. When you begin to put your love for a guy above all things, you lose all sense of proportion and the devil cashes in on this to steal God’s beautiful plans for your destiny. What on earth does a guy need your nude photos for? And why in the world do you have to supply those pictures or succumb to his sexual overtures just to prove your love for him? Why would you even spare him a thought if he refuses to respect your feelings? A guy who truly loves you would not threaten to leave you if you refuse to sleep with him. Besides, I know a number of girls and even an adulterous married woman whose lives have never been the same again and are yet to recover from the shame their stupid act brought them after their nude pictures went viral. Why would you want to set up yourself on a grand scale of disgrace? Have you ever considered the fact that he may use those pictures to blackmail you into having sex with him for many years down the line?

     

    “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  Jeremiah 17:9

    How would you feel if some day you find yourself in a glorious public office or in an enviable position and someone decides the world must see your nude pictures? Have you ever considered what God would think?

    “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28

    Why would you want to get God against you by encouraging someone else to sin through a silly act of love? If God be for us, who can be against us? But if God is against you, your life would be open up to evil attacks and oppression. Please beware and be wise! Run, run, run away from any guy that asks for your nude pictures. You will never experience shame or ridicule in Jesus name. AMEN!

     

    For more inspiring articles and prayers against sexual perversion (masturbation, lesbianism, addiction to pornography and immoral thoughts etc.) please visit my blog  www.temiloluokeowo.com   www.girlsapostolicministry.org

    I invite you to be my friend on facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO (not Temilolu okeowo girls club).

    Scam Alert: Temilolu okeowo girls club is a fake facebook account. Please do not like it or reply anybody seeking for financial help through any page using my name. Thank you!

    Are you still engaging in pre-marital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary virgin! You are most welcome on board the chastity campaign train and Girls Club is open for all girls and ladies. Please text your name, age, school or occupation and State of domicile to 07086620576.

  • A missing heart

    Missing person! The words on the poster drew your truly closer. The photograph of the lady is simply breathtaking, a missing beauty; would certainly make any heart skip a bit. The words and the face conjure all kinds of images and you are in wonderland. What could have happened to this beauty?  Was she kidnapped by a beast(s)? How could she just vanish into thin air without imagining the pain her disappearing act would cause.

    Dead or alive, the truth of the matter here is that she is deeply missed. This reminds yours truly of a missing heart, like people hearts can be missing. So what kind of heart are we likely to miss? you ask. A sweet heart is a jolly good fellow, someone who brings sunshine (love) into your world, a heart that radiates joy and one who spreads love in megadoses and there certainly is never a dull moment.

    A missing heart is a lost heart. It is over but somehow you just cannot let go. The more you want to forget and move on, it keeps creeping back but there is a lot of uncertainty here. Searching for the missing comes with tales of frustration. The missing person who ran away must have escaped from something or someone, a partner who is aggressive, selfish or non-challant about your feelings.

    Well, somehow you cannot be judgmental on the emotional corridor; for many it’s the gambling arena. Sometimes you put in an emotional coin and sweep the stakes. As a winner, your smile is everywhere and you are likely to attract more hearts. Everybody loves a winner and you may just be overwhelmed by the level of attention you are getting here and there. You are in the season of love and the best thing to do is to put on your thinking cap and not the emotional cap. If you do not make the best of the emotional coupons, you may just waste them

    Unfortunately, there are times when you put in all your savings and walk out without a dime.

    As you think about the possibilities, you heart continues to sink.

    Two close pals who knew her story came to the rescue. That babe ran away. No, this can’t be. How can anyone run away from an environment where the hearts around ‘appear’ to be so loving? Imagine the cost of producing those bright-coloured posters; imagine the number of people to be contacted if our dear friend is found. They really care, don’t they?

    Forget about the bright-coloured poster and the effect created about a heart that is being missed.

    What actually happened was the case of a missing heart. Her heart left a long time ago. Whatever you are feeling comes from a cumulative effect of your feelings and how you feel for the other person. The vibes from your emotions cannot be compared to the effects you get from a solo instrument; instead you get better like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. So at every phase in your relationship, you have got to ask yourself pertinent questions about what your mind is saying, what your heart is saying as well as what your gut is saying.

    This is very interesting because there are times when your heart says you have found love but somewhere along the line your mind is warning you about the consequence and more.

    The crux of the matter here is that we must learn how to build the right kind of relationship. We must strive to make those who think we love happy and have memories that linger. The big question, however, is how many of us have learnt how to build loving relationships? If we have done this, then it is important to make use of the essentials and allow others to appreciate what we are enjoying in our relationships.

    As you take a look around, you find that there is an art and science to building strong relationships. The first type is to create a safe environment, a place where trust is key and lovebirds are free to share ideas and not allow one person’s interests to dominate the other. No, it isn’t always a smooth ride and there would certainly be days when you need to shout and get angry. Yes, there are days when the emotional battle line is drawn, but, again, when you get to this emotional crossroads, it is better to fight fairly. Of course, for many it is almost impossible to get to anger zone and still maintain some level of sanity.

    Interestingly, you can do this by making your points and addressing the areas that you want to see changes. To do this effectively, there should be no name calling, don’t make threats and it is also very important to apologise when you know you should.

    However, if things get really bad and out of hand, then you are likely to get too angry to really listen. If your emotions have really gone down the drain, then it is better to take a break, give yourself some space and calm down.

  • What type of mother is this?

    What type of mother is this?

    DEAR Aunty Temi, I love your column, it’s really impressive. After my father died four years ago, his friend has been the one supporting my mother and I. Last year, our landlord gave us a quit notice and my late father’s friend offered us accommodation in his home. He and his wife have been very kind to us. I was very happy and comfortable with them until their son returned from the U.S. He pressurised me to be his lover and I told him that wasn’t possible. He eventually raped me and deflowered me in the process. I told my mum and she said I shouldn’t ever say anything about it again. Now, he wants to have carnal knowledge of me at the slightest opportunity. I’m scared and don’t know what to do.

    Janet, 19

    To say I was aghast when I read Jane’s message is to say the least. I called her on the phone and inquired if there’s someone she could tell her ordeal if she no longer felt safe living there and she told me there was no one she could open up to except me. I empathised with her and advised her to tell her rapist’s mother. At first she was very scared and hesitant until he raped her a second time and the thought of getting pregnant scared her. When she informed me about the second rape incident, I had to convince her to report the incident to the boy’s mother assuring her that as God lives, she would never regret her action. Surprisingly, she reported the case to the boy’s mother the following day and sent me this text:

    Aunty Temi,

    I called you severally today but you didn’t pick your phone. I actually wanted to tell you that I told his mum about it. She was very angry with him and threatened to get him imprisoned next time he touches me and that he’ll be returning to the U.S. in the next two weeks. Thank you Aunty Temi, I don’t know what I’d have done without you. And thank God the woman has been extra kind to me.

    Jane

    Jane may have been spared the nightmare of being forced to have sex but I tell you her mother has laid a very bad foundation for her. Now that Jane has just gained admission into the university and has inadequate funding for her needs, how on earth won’t she be tempted when men offer to take care of her needs while she “services” them in return?

    Dear Aunty Temi,

    I really bless the Lord for having someone like you in the lives of us teenage girls but I think you should also please help the boys too. They are really making life difficult for us. Thanks ma.

    Folashade

    Dear Aunty Temi,

    I’ll be glad if you can set up Girls Club in my village. My village is Orisunmibare, Ondo, not far from Owena Ijesa. This is because girls here are fornicators who are prone to abortion. Please help! Also, I am determined to be a virgin till marriage but my friends say I’m a fool and that I’ll have menstrual pains if I don’t get deflowered.

    Olanike, 22

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    What shall we do about these boys harassing and making life difficult for so many of you? Hmm…Sigh! Well, you all need to put God in the forefront and ask Him for wisdom, self control and a sound mind and you’ll be able to deal with the opposite sex and end up with the best of the bunch and you will live happily ever after in Jesus mighty name. AMEN! As for my sisters in Orisunmibare village, I bind the spirit of lust and sexual pervasion in their lives. I imagine how stagnant a lot of the girls are and the very little or no education they have because of the siege of the devil over their lives in form of pre-marital sex. I imagine so many babies carrying babies and adults around not batting an eye or trying to put things right because it has become a norm and almost a competition in the village. I bet a lot of them can’t even write good English. How then can they write or pass an entrance examination into college or university and eventually make a good living and make something useful out of their lives? However, whether the government cares or not to ensure every child is in school, because Olanike has asked for help on behalf of her sisters, things would certainly change in Orisunmibare. Girls Club would be visiting soon to see how it can help the girls align with God’s divine agenda for their lives but before then may the fire of the Holy Ghost sweep through Orisunmibare and may the power of Pentecost recreate the lives of the girls AMEN!

    Girls…girls…girls, how can anyone fool you into thinking your virginity can cause you menstrual pains? Sex cannot stop menstrual pains, so, please be yourself and don’t let anyone push you into what you may later regret. Do you know a lot of deflowered girls wish they were still virgins after they’ve had so much of it and gotten their bodies badly abused and hearts shattered by guys. P-u-r-lease, don’t join the band wagon. Remain as intact and unspoiled as you are and you’ll be glad you did.

  • Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse can scuttle your destiny! (II)

    Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse can scuttle your destiny! (II)

    MADAM, God will bless you and your children. I am a minister of God but I have never experienced a preacher like you. May God increase your knowledge and wisdom.

    Anonymous

     

    Dear Temilolu,

    In the world of today where there’s so much sexual permissiveness, it’s amazing that we still have girls your type who can impact positively on the lives of our girls and the unborn. May your days be long. You are from God. May the almighty keep you to accomplish your mission on earth.

    Mr. A.

     

    Dear Temilolu,

    I read your article- Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse can scuttle your destiny! It is a timely write up for our damsels. May the God of heaven keep your home safe in Jesus name. Keep writing and keep salvaging and redeeming the life of our young girls from destiny destroyers. Every lady should take caution and remember that in Genesis 34:1-2, Dinah was raped in just one single outing she embarked upon.

    Pastor Sunday

     

    Dear Temilolu,

    Whenever I get to read your articles, I am gladdened by your words of advice and encouragement to the younger generation.

    Why not include occasionally some pieces of advice to our young men as well. They are not left out of your outreach.

    God be with you in Jesus name.

    Bolaji Ajai

     

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    One major problem of humanity today is that too many destinies are sick. Asides the scriptures telling us the whole world lies in darkness (1 John 5:19), you will agree with me that our situation in the black race/Africa is deeply concentrated in great mystery and darkness. No matter your social status or background, there’s some darkness in your background raging wildly to sink your destiny if not fiercely resisted. That alone is enough to sink a glorious destiny and stop it from manifesting. Can you now imagine the combination of darkness in a 17-year-old who had slept with 25 men? And right under the nose of her parents. Her parents could afford to send her to school but she had become so dull and couldn’t assimilate much and eventually school was simply out of it and she had to be enrolled in a hair-dressing salon. A lot of you have super-duper destinies such that if God opened your eyes to see the wonder He has created you to be, you probably would be out of human reach and be alone with God so as not to be desecrated. Unknown to you, the devil has informed his cohorts around you probably before you came out of your mother’s womb and they have strategically master-minded some fatal and comprehensive mishaps that would befall your destiny in future. Funny thing is even if your pastor took over from biblical Elisha, he may never see these mishaps. What more? What you have to contend with is commensurate to the magnitude of your greatness. That is the greater your star/destiny, the greater your battles! When the scriptures also tell us that in these days- the last days, evil men and seducers will wax stronger (2 Timothy 3:13) i.e. will go from bad to worse, which power do you have to confront them? Your Brazilian hair, pink pouts, sexy dress or numerous poses on instagram and face book? Hmmm….sigh! To worsen matters, engaging in ungodly sex which not only places too many baggages on your destiny and could paralyse it but which also makes you spiritually dull. It practically destroys your spiritual connectivity with God and opens up your life to demonic invasion.

    Sadly, more often than not, the female folk are at the receiving end. Right from the garden of Eden when Eve was put into trouble by the devil. In the scriptures we are told that a time will come when seven women would beg a man to allow them bear his name without having to provide their needs so their shame can be taken away! (Isaiah 4:1) When an unwanted pregnancy happens, the girl is on the receiving end whether she keeps it or terminates it-which is even worse. When you get married to the wrong person as a result of confusion arising from pre-marital sex, spiritual blindness etc. and you begin to experience hell on earth, become a punching bag and get abused in all forms when you are God’s royal diadem and meant to be the best thing that happened to a man, you bear the brunt and would be lectured by those who have no idea of what your destiny entails to fix perhaps the devil re-incarnate or a home that was never meant to be yours! Who sent you there? How’s that possible? What a big, big waste of time and destiny?

    As merciful as God is I am sure a lot of times He looks down at humanity and laughs at our foolish folly for not following Him implicitly! May He arise for your sake today and set you free from every bondage in Jesus mighty name. Amen!

    To be continued.

     

    I invite you to be my friend on facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO (not Temilolu okeowo girls club).

    Scam Alert: Temilolu okeowo girls club is a fake facebook account. Please do not like it or reply anybody seeking for financial help through any page using my name. Thank you!

  • Back to zero

    Sink, sinking and sunk. That aptly describes the state in which Tony’s heart is at the moment. At a glance, it looks like he has lost practically everything sown along the emotional corridor. What a mess! He had put in all his energy into a good job (heart); something that he was so passionate about. Flashback to 2012, the whole idea consumed his being and it was something that was on his mind 24 hours a day.

    Kudos everywhere ! A job well done and the passion for this job (love) got better. Then it was time to take stock, count the blessings and his heart was on the plaque (marriage). Instead of recognising a great performance, he got a sack (jilted) letter.

    Oh dear! What really is the problem here? Nobody was willing to tell him the truth, and then a co-worker (rival) ‘bell the cat’. “You have worked (loved too much) too hard.” Doing this, he hinted, made him look too desperate for the job (heart).

    In the emotional space, you cannot afford to be slow, too fast or just an Island. It’s about understanding the vibes and keeping in at the right time. Of course, you also have got to abide by the rules and be considerate about the emotions of the other players. Not nice to take the other party for granted at all.

    If you are giving 80 and they are giving 20, then you may just have been taken for granted with a heart that is likely to suffer from emotional ‘constipation’. The resident of Love Avenue can be highly critical and irrational and it is important to understand how to relate with the heart that you treasure. If you do not learn to interpret the moods, actions and inactions, then you would continue to step on emotional toes instead of reaping from the sweet-nothings whispered, the type every woman wants to hear.

    Smart? No, it has nothing to do with having a critical mind to survive. There are times you put in so much, expecting an overdose in terms of affections. Great expectations, and you anticipate a bountiful harvest. Yet all you get is a stingy heart, a heart that doesn’t match your expectations.

    Life goes on and now that this Buddie has learnt one or two lessons from life (love), it dawns on him that he is bankrupt (no emotions). Emptied! Yes, that is the stark reality and a quick search for leftovers here and there; there is really nothing worth the while. His emotional account was simply in red.

    The crux of the matter here is that a sinking heart drains. A broken heart is blind. You just cannot see anything clearly. No matter how hard you try, the tears simply take over. No matter how hard you try to conceal the pain, reality hits you like a sharp knife thrust into your heart and you are back to zero.

    What is he going to do without the right resources to do it right? Unfortunately, if you do not have what it takes, then you may just have to turn to the other alternative, the type that is very common; a bag of tricks (lies). Time to put on his thinking (lovecraft) cap and luckily a bright idea comes to mind. Instead of suffering in silence and bothering about emotional ethics, isn’t it better to just go window shopping.

    It was fun moving from one window to the other. Delicate pieces, colourful and bright combinations, all beckoning for attention. Somewhere simply breathtaking and almost irresistible. Once in a while, the sad reality hits our dear; you can only look but cannot take away. It got worse because the items (hearts) staring at him were communicating, ‘take me, please take me with you’.

    They weren’t the only accomplices in the process. As soon as the shop owner and attendants sighted this lovebird, they invited (lured) him within to try a shirt, a pair of shoes and more. They were excited about the fact that he was likely to buy (fall in love), they ran in and out in desperation trying to find his choice. Stylishly, he pretended that he did not like any of the options presented. The truth was that the options were all good but the timing was just wrong.

    There was a lot of excitement in the air and it worsened everything. Why would he raise their hopes, knowing fully well that he wasn’t prepared to buy anything? As he watched the ladies (hearts) scrambling for his attention to buy at least a pair of shoes, he smiled and walked away.

    Wait a minute! The only option here would be to shoplift (rape)! After all, the attendants here were so carried away with him and he could just get away with this, if he chose to do just this. No, that is not a good idea. It is not good to take what (love forcefully) does not belong to you. It comes with a lot of consequences.  He discovered that in the process of trying to make himself happy, he had dashed hopes and complicated the process.

  • Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse can scuttle your destiny!

    Girls, just one ungodly sexual intercourse can scuttle your destiny!

    Dear Temi, I’m writing to commend you on your inspiring articles. I really do enjoy reading your articles. Indeed you are a woman of virtue. Bravo!

    Victor Imosemi

     

    Dear Temilolu,

    I have gone through some of your articles. They are so nice, keep it up. You are doing a great job. Bravo my sister.

    Prof. O. Okhiai Ekpoma

     

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    I am 18 years old, I have a boyfriend and I love him so much and he loves me because he usually does things that make me happy and also advises me when I go off the right path. I don’t want just a mere relationship with him; I want to be his life partner. I was a virgin before I met him. He asked me of sex and I gave it to him because he was not happy when I refused at first. Please what should I do because he’s asking for it again? I don’t want to have sex with him again and I don’t want to lose him. Please I need your advice because I don’t want to lose him or make him unhappy?

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

     

    Why would you love any guy above yourself, above your glorious destiny? Why would you please a boy or man to the detriment of your present and your future? If only churches slammed the consequences of ungodly sex in your faces at every single service, the power in the word of God would pierce your hearts and open up your spiritual understanding by fire by force and envelope you with the spirit of God which would make you detest every form of sin. Alas, the crux of the message of most of today’s churches is hinged on prosperity forgetting that we are told to seek first the kingdom of God and have the world at our feet. How can anyone who is heavily yoked with the spirits and bondages of multiple, in fact uncountable, sexual partners make anything meaningful out of life and not go from trouble to trouble? How can one discover one’s life partner, destiny helper and help-mate when he/she is already confused and derailed because of an ungodly soul-tie? How then can such a person enjoy the prosperity nuggets he/she is weekly bombarded with in church if our common enemy – the devil – succeeds in joining him/her with his/her destiny destroyer? This is a very serious matter and one of the reasons for most of today’s divorces and scattered lives of both parents and the children of the failed marriage. Sadly, lives which were designed to be so beautiful become a nightmare, and dreams which had been built for years and reached a dizzying height crash suddenly into smithereens because of someone’s impatience, ungodliness, spiritual dullness etc. I pray this won’t be your portion in Jesus mighty name. AMEN!

    The point is once a life is polluted or contaminated through sexual intercourse with the wrong person, I tell you it only takes the mercy of God for such destiny to re-align with God’s divine agenda. The more reason why you all should have a deep connection with God now coupled with a high spiritual connectivity. I tell you, your destiny would be too hot for the enemy to handle. This is not to say that those living holy lives cannot be tormented by the devil, of course they are major targets but once God comes first in every aspect of your life not caring whose ox is gored, as long as your emotions, motions and entire walk in life are scripture-controlled, even if you’ve been ensnared by the enemy, you will be pleasantly amazed when God arises for you because He’s committed to you!

    At 18, where has my young lady reached in life for her to feel her boyfiend is God’s gift and the best that would come her way? How very naïve and myopic of her! Perhaps she’s not even in the university yet. We meet more and more people every day, and will always get carried away by different personalities. She has a few years to spend in the university where she would meet the good, the bad and the ugly; she is going to observe the NYSC and meet more exciting and interesting guys, yet the world at large is waiting for her – church, work, social functions, I could go on and on! My sweeties, what’s the rush? Do you know just that single act of sex could introduce uncontrollable lust into one’s life and before you are 22 you find out you’ve slept with 30 or more guys? How can you accommodate such rot in your destiny? Because your other friends are engaging in it and seem to be having a ball doesn’t mean you’ll have a ball as well neither will they get away with it. The earlier you realise that we all have different destinies which carry diverse weights spiritually, the better! Abo oro laa so f’omoluwabi…..

     

    • To be continued.

    I invite you to be my friend on facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO (not Temilolu okeowo girls club).

    Scam Alert: Temilolu okeowo girls club is a fake facebook account. Please do not like it or reply anybody seeking for financial help through any page using my name. Thank you!

  • Investing in the wrong heart

    The battle line has been drawn and now it is going to be fight to finish. How can anyone take her silence for stupidity? How can this common intruder take over her emotional space while she continues to suffer in silence? Wait a minute! What has she done to merit this kind of rash treatment? Why does love crash when you least expect it to do so? Now, she is not just stunned but handicapped because she just does not know where to pick the pieces together again.

    Let’s scroll down memory lane and see how this love story took off. “We met at an interview and he looked really dull. For her it was love at first sight. She just liked him and found a way to start a conversation with him. He had this nice baritone voice and he was intelligent. When they got talking later that day, she discovered that he had been out of job for about a year. That obviously had affected him and she made up her mind to get him back on track. The only person she confided in about the relationship was her friend Lizzy. For Lizzy, it was important to tread with caution: “My dear, it is good to fall in love, but sometimes, it is better to look before you leap. A lot of the guys you have out there are gentle only when they want something from you. Once they get what they want, you can be sure that you will begin to see the other side. Please don’t fall in love, take your time and be sure that your heart is worth investing here. You know that you have been through so much already, you do not need another distraction again.”

    Luckily, he was one of the lucky few who got employed and she was so happy for him. The relationship took off almost immediately because they shared so many things in common. The two jolly good fellows loved themselves so much and they were always in each other’s company. They had been in the relationship for about three years and many thought they had everything going for them. The first two years was wonderful and it was a roller coaster of emotions.

    Love made in heaven? Maybe! It was a great experience for her because this was the first time that she was having a relationship with someone who was simple, easy going and down to earth. Bode just wasn’t like the other guys she had dated in the past. He was very emotional and didn’t appear to be too adventurous with the ladies. Tall and handsome, he was someone any lady would want to be associated with. The only snag was that she wished he could improve on his dress sense and look more attractive.

    They discussed it and he agreed to be the man she wanted her darling to be. This handsome bobo was, however, too plain, too ordinary and somehow her desire to brush him up and make him match her taste engulfed her. Passionately, she put all her energy into it and gradually the transformation began. First, they went on a shopping spree, all expenses on the initiator of the idea to look good and she was happy doing this for her man. She bought new clothes and accessories and the transformation was simply amazing. A look at the magnetic mirror for the most handsome dude in town and you find him in the picture. He looked really good and his level of self confidence also improved. Feeling fresh and exciting, he began to make heads turn. Now that we have changed this plain guy and moved him to the level of the most sought after, fresh trouble began. A number of emotional rats began to run to and fro the emotional corridor. This new look was exciting but it brought threats, big and small.

    “I knew from the first two weeks that I had lost my guy. He just could not handle this new look and he was mesmerised by the compliments and emotional partnerships that unfolded as the days went by. Can’t really blame him! They simply suffocated him with love, or was it lust? For someone who had been ‘dehydrated’ and longing for affection, this was time to indulge. He drank and drank from the affection stream and became confused. For the lover boy, it was indeed a season for flings, strange phone calls and threats to the heart that showed him real love. This just wasn’t fear; you don’t abandon a generous and caring heart just like this. Unfortunately, the word fair has vanished from the emotional lexicon, hearts do not reason this way.

    Unfortunately, our dear friend did not know that she was looking for emotional trouble. When you make someone or something you like very attractive, then you are bringing others to be partakers and they would go for it at all cost. Sadly, our dear friend was not thinking along this line and the Romeo was whisked away along the emotional corridor before she knew what was going on.

  • In the heart of the philosopher

    It’s a Sunday afternoon and you are in a quiet neighbourhood restaurant. The food and the ambience were great, and as you take a look around something grips your attention. It is a quote by Socrates and advises whoever finds a good wife to marry her, because she would make him happy. Conversely, the great philosopher informs that the man who finds a bad wife would become a philosopher.

    Humh! Was he talking from experience? Yes, he was. Scroll down memory lane and you find that Socrates did not have a happy marriage.  Simply put, if you get something (heart) right from the outset, they you take it for granted, assume that it is a very simple or easy task. However, if you had to try, try and try again, you are definitely going to be better, wiser and more experienced from the lessons learnt.

     Those who find love at first sight are calm and think they were the best in the pack. They were lucky having been spared of worries, deep emotional thoughts that subsequently led to nightmares, soliloquies and getting to the philosophical states of propounding emotional theories and fallacies.

    Interestingly, Socrates is not alone. When it comes to the issue of relationships, some of our great philosophers are very sceptical. In their opinions, true love is unattainable and marriage is simply settling down with someone who might not be the best. Plato describes love as a serious mental disease and in another quote says, ‘At the touch of love every man becomes a poet’. On his part, Aristotle informs that happiness depends upon us and to love someone is to identify with them.

    As you probe further, you discover that for the philosopher, the question “what is love?”continues to generate a host of issues. Love is an abstract noun, which means, for some, it’s unattached to anything real or sensible. That, interestingly, is all. For others, it is a means by which our being – our self and its world are irrevocably affected once we are ‘touched by love’. While some have sought to analyse it, others have preferred to leave it in the realm of the ineffable.

    Love is often portrayed as a powerful force; something that can inspire greatness in the lover. Alternatively, it is something that can make the lover act like a fool. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, but it can also be utterly devastating when it doesn’t work out.

    Given these observations, we might be inclined to think that there’s a significant element of irrationality to love. But we should be careful here, as perhaps love can have reasons too. For example, if you have a significant other, you could probably list off a bunch of reasons for your love: your partner is kind, intelligent, funny, and so on. If you loved someone who was mean, stupid, and boring, that would be irrational. But, presumably, many of us have great reasons for loving who we love, which shows that sometimes love is actually quite rational.

    It would be wise to pause, though, to consider whether or not we ever actually love for the reasons we give. Perhaps the truth is that we first find ourselves in love, and then come up with reasons to justify our feelings. Just because we can provide reasons for feeling the way we do about a particular person, it doesn’t follow that we see reasons for loving first, and then develop feelings based on those reasons.

    While the philosophers have learnt great emotional lessons and taken a stand, a lot of people get stuck on the surface. They are therefore caught in the emotional web and often overact when things go sour. This often results in violence in relationships and recently you have lovebirds killing themselves, setting the people the claim to love ablaze and much more. The truth of the matter is that not all love can survive the test of the emotional times.

    Every love script has two sides. The first side is the part that we all love to experience and talk about. Unfortunately, when we get to the flipside of love, it’s not always pleasant for many. Here the sweet aroma of love that they once savoured goes sour, and the bitter aftertaste just won’t go away.

    The sad part of the emotional bargain is that many often allow the feelings of devastation, anger and betrayal to fester and they find themselves spiralling into hate.

    Experts interestingly inform that this hate is not the opposite of the love that you once felt for each other. Hate is an intense emotion that illustrates a very alive and well connection to another person. You are still bonded to this person, care what happens to him, good or bad, and you are preoccupied with things that are beyond your control.

    The opposite of love at this stage here can be compared with indifference. Interestingly, you also have a group who are still physically together, patching things up, even though their hearts have fallen apart. Here, you find cases of emotional abuse. Though emotional abuse doesn’t leave physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence and self-esteem.

  • How to fulfill your destiny and get your star to shine (II)

    Dear Temilolu, I read your articles whenever possible and must confess how impressed I am with your writings. Your level of moral conviction is a challenge and encouragement for today’s youth. To think you maintain such a rare outlook to sexuality is phenomenal. Keep up the good work.

    Anonymous

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,  My body hurts! I am “high” and can end up anywhere. I’ve been very dull and bored until I saw a picture of a girl on face book having sex. Then it dawned on me that’s what’s really bothering me. That’s what my body wants right now and I want it so badly. What do you advise please?

    Anonymous

    Your spirituality and your destiny (Contd.)

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    I am ever so glad to be in touch with you again. Two weeks ago I began discussing your spirituality and your destiny. If you are 13 years old and reading, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart because if you can master these God-given principles, you will never miss the path to your glorious divine placement no matter how hard our common enemy tries to divert you. So many of us come into this world with diverse assignments and as kids/youth possess very tall dreams but, unfortunately, so many of these dreams are scuttled and never come to reality and this is why it is so important for us to have a grip on our spirituality. You must also note that the greater your dreams/all God has designed to make you shine, the greater your battles and obstacles you need to overcome to become exactly what God wants you to be. These challenges/obstacles could be so over-powering and if you refuse to garner enough spiritual stamina in your young age, you may never be able to get to your promised land. You may be so knocked out by life and eventually settle for a complacent life or where the enemy wants you to be. Take it or leave it, you can never be truly happy or comfortable where God has not designed you to be. The more reason why you have to act fast and have an idea of where and what God wants you to be before life shoves you to where it wants you to be.

    Life is so much more than partying, fashion, make-up, hair extensions, instagram, Face book and the like. You’d recall I mentioned two weeks ago that asides our parents, ancestry, circumstances and diverse spiritual forces, even the Face book/social media would determine the outcome of a lot of destinies. How unfortunate! What a waste of life! The young lady above has probably been battling with thoughts of sex all the time and she goes into her face book and sees the picture of someone engaging in sex and that just sets the fire of lust in her. I bet if she saw a guy who caught her fancy that day, she would have engaged in sex and who knows what that single sexual intercourse could have done to her destiny out of a foolish lust that she had the power to tame. The funny thing is that all the satisfaction she probably needed then might not have lasted more than 3-5 minutes and within those few minutes, she could have gotten herself/destiny into a mess of a life time and many years of unending struggle and trouble. Girls, please, believe me, I am not exaggerating, there’s so much about this beautiful life we were graciously given by God which the devil our common enemy would fight at all cost and stop from manifesting by diverting destinies when they least expect and that is why we MUST be spiritually sensitive at a young age. If you are not filled with the spirit of God it’s hard for you not to fall into the trap of the devil. If the young lady above was filled with the spirit of God, she would have been able to tame what was tormenting her flesh and tempting her to engage in sexual intercourse. The spirit of the world is in contention with God’s Spirit which is what we need to navigate our way to our divine destiny/location in life. The good thing is that we all have the power to tame our flesh and put it under control. Until we do that, we cannot be master over our destinies.

    Sadly, the world today is too full of distractions and a lot of your parents are so caught up with their daily challenges that they may never be able to discover the goldmine under their roof until it is too late to be harnessed. May God open your eyes and illuminate your minds in Jesus mighty name! Amen!

    To be continued

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    Scam Alert: Temilolu okeowo girls club is a fake facebook account. Please do not like it or reply anybody seeking for financial help through any page using my name. Thank you!