The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • Creative hair outlook

    Creative hair outlook

    It can be exciting to enhance your hair with beautiful extensions for versatility and glamour. Adetorera Idowu explores options for brides to be.

    Her nicely toned body, bridal gown, shoes and accessories turned heads as she walked down the aisle. For the bride who smiled all the way, the effect made the day one of the most memorable in her life. Onlookers were equally impressed by her creatively designed hairdo which made her look so grand.

    There are a number of styles to choose from and it is important to go for styles that would look really good on you. For instance, the vintage braid done into fishtail can be divided into two sections where a bun is created at the top and pinned into place for effect.

    The hair can then be twisted into a second bun at the bottom and secured with pins. This kind of braid can be worn loose or tied into a low bun. The most important thing is to be creative with your choice of hairdo. You can also try the funky flick. Here the extensions would be texturised to create a shaggy layered look. The hair can also be blow-dried straight at the back. In addition, the front can be flipped to create an exciting retro look.

    However, if what you desire is a wavy outlook, then you can get the right extension for this and add to your natural hair. The middle of the hair can be exciting when pinned to the back and the sides scrunched and back combed to create volume.

    Alternatively, you can go for a splash of colours. Here you make use of colour extension which would be attached and the hair cut to create a straight fringe to bring out your fine features. The ends would then be tapered into feathery finish and blow-dried straight with silicone added for shine.

  • Building a critical mass for leadership

    Building a critical mass for leadership

    What are the qualities that would make a woman stand out and be singled out for leadership positions? In this encounter with some women who have been entrusted with leadership roles, Yetunde Oladeinde takes a look at the challenges and the way forward for women.

    Political, social and economic empowerment have taken the womenfolk closer to their dreams. More women are now being elevated into roles and they have begun to reshape their dreams, leave a remarkable legacy as well as set a pace for the younger generation of women.

    As women continue to make significant strides in different spheres of life, it is also important to look at ways to remain relevant in mainstream politics.

    These were some of the topics x-rayed by the African Women Foundation for Nation Building recently during its annual conference tagged ACOWINB 2014 from June 4-6 2014 at the Barcelona Hotel, Abuja Nigeria, with the theme: ‘The Role of Women in Nation Building’.

    Speakers and resource persons at the event included Professor Mike Kupolati, Barrister Elizabeth Ayodele of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Representative of the Director General of SMEDAN, Alhaji Bature Umar Masari, Mrs Kemi Adebayo, MD Bold moves Capetown, South Africa, Madelein Mkuru and delegates from countries like Ethiopia led by Mekedes Mecuria.

    The presentations took critical look at the challenges facing women in public life and how to be able to make a difference in their various communities. Issues around building a critical mass for good governance, youth empowerment, networking and entrepreneurship skills were examined.

    In a thought-provoking presentation, Mrs Ayodele of the EFCC took the women through the need to be law abiding and careful in the process of nation building. She also admonished the women to stand out and always strive to leave a legacy behind.” Women should go out there to make a mark. This is possible because as women we can adjust and multi task. You must help your community, your family and take good care of yourself. You must have your own life and give birth to great ideas, give birth to something that would live after you have gone.”

    According to the international president of the organisation, Mrs. Bukola Bello Jaiyesimi: “This is simply a vehicle for WINB to honour and put the spotlight on remarkable women doing remarkable and extraordinary things in Africa.”

    The targets, according to the Amazon, include “Any woman in business or the workplace who is the founder or co-founder of a new project, product, service or concept. The award is also for any woman who has been a part of building her nation in the economic sector, the political sector, human capital development and the business sector. It must be original, have the potential or capability of having an impact in the society and the nation at large such as providing a better quality of life or creating jobs or wealth.”

    Jaiyesimi adds that “Women’s participation in nation-building is an important ingredient in achieving an equitable, peaceful and more prosperous society. A society that shows greater concern for the rights of the weaker strata (women and children) is less likely to initiate violence. It has been proved that economic and social developments are strongly elevated when women enter the marketplace and participate actively in nation-building. Gender equity and women’s inclusion are vital in shaping a more democratically stabilised and developed society. Incorporating women in nation-building process as much as possible will help facilitate these.”

    African Women Foundation for Nation Building (WINB) is the Pan African Women Foundation that will provide a balanced scorecard on political leaders, corporate executives and all other leaders involved in nation building. WINB is set to transform African women for effective nation building. This is meant to address women issues and not to be influenced by political or religious interests, but with a passion for positive change.

    WINB will make opportunities available for women to brainstorm on issues affecting their welfare, status in society, roles in governance. They will also be aided to generate practical and achievable solutions to any identified problems or challenges. WINB’s work is to involve all African women who share the view that the input of women should be recognised and valued in the economic and political equation of our nation states in Africa.

    During the gala and awards night, outstanding performances were rewarded. Two gentlemen, Architect Yomi Lawal and Barrister Allen Onyema of the Foundation for Ethnic Harmony in Nigeria, bagged awards recognising their contributions to nation building and peaceful co-existence in the country. Other recipients included the first female majority leader in the House of Representatives, Hon Mulikat Adeola Akande, Fifi Ejindu, Medinat Emovon, Bolu Olutayo, Patience Dickson, amongst others.

    Hon Mulikat Akande also threw her weight behind the need to empower women aspiring for leadership positions across the country. “I believe that women are not yet there. It is therefore important to do anything you can do to help no matter where you come from.”

    She adds: “I use this opportunity to pledge my support for the organisation, whether I am house leader or not. The position is transient but I am first and foremost a woman.”

  • Don’t want her to reject me

    She is uncomfortable with the arrangement

    My younger sister had been single for a long while. Luckily, she met a man who agreed to marry her and we were all very happy for her. A few months after the wedding, he began to beat her but she kept quiet because she didn’t want to lose the marriage she had waited and cried for. Now, she is very comfortable because he provides for all her needs but she is not happy. What can be done to make her happy? Matilda

     

    Response

    Marriage according to the experts should be sacred and we are expected to make it work. This can be done with trust, love, understanding and communication. However, when violence is added to the mix, it may just be time for your sister to move on. I also think that your sister’s husband is feeling insecure and therefore feels the need to control her at all times.

     

    Something has gone wrong?

    I have been in a relationship with a lady for about three years and we have had so many memorable moments together. Recently, I discovered that her attitude towards me has changed completely. She does not even speak to me and for weeks I get so frustrated with the relationship. Sometimes, I am so confused that I feel like walking away from the relationship to get my bearing. Olawale.

     

    Response

    Have you tried talking to her about this and how you feel about the whole thing? You definitely need to get to the bottom of why she has suddenly gone cold towards you. I must also tell you that it is not wise to wait and hope that she will open up to you one day about the matter. If you also think that it is something that you cannot handle alone, then you can advise her to come with you for counselling, so that you can discuss the problem with a professional. This way, it would be possible to find a lasting solution to the problem.

     

    He wants me to be a housewife

    I am a 28-year-old lady who is passionate about her career and I want to proceed for a masters in law soon. However, my fiancé has not approved of my plans and he actually says that I should cancel all the plans I have if I want to be his wife. He believes that too much education and pursuit of career are factors that affect women in marriages. Do you think I should sacrifice my career for this relationship? Amina.

     

    Response

    I think that you need to follow your heart, your plans and not what your boyfriend thinks. Even if he believes that he knows what’s best for you, and is acting in good faith, it is not a decision he should make for you. It is your life and there are a number of things he cannot determine for you. Unfortunately, a lot of women end up with lifestyles, jobs or professions they hate because they allowed some people to manipulate them from their dreams. Your fiancé should respect your decision to further your studies, if he really loves you.

     

    Don’t want her to reject me

    I just moved into a new apartment and I fell for a lady next door almost immediately. We say hello everyday but somehow I find it difficult to tell her how I feel about her. I am afraid because I can’t stand the thought of rejection. Should I wait a bit or go ahead to tell her how I feel about her?  Joseph

     

    Response

    If you love her, just find a way to tell her. She would either say yes or no. But if you continue to drag your feet about it someone else may take her from you before you know it.

  • Can a lady pay for her own engagement ring if…?

    Can a lady pay for her own engagement ring if…?

    On an online forum, a lady posted a comment, seeking advice on whether or not she should give in to her boyfriend’s demand to borrow money from her for her engagement ring. Adetorera Idowu speaks with some people on their reactions to this question

    Titilayo Osifeso – Consultant

    No way!!! Why should she pay for it? The man should buy it when he is ready. If he can’t afford it, he should buy what he can afford at that moment. I think this is an act of desperation. It makes me question whether the girl really wants the guy or wants to show off and if you build your marriage in that foundation, it’s sure going to crumble.

     

    Isi Edowaye – Banker

    Well, it is not out of place. It’s just a matter of understanding between both parties. If his not having a ring for me is as a result of finance, I understand. Although if he can’t give me a ring because he cannot afford it, it speaks volumes, I mean… it’s marriage. From my stance, buying myself a ring is awkward and I’ll rather take his words (I want to marry you) as the bond. I don’t have to wear an engagement ring.

     

    Amfani Musa – Swimming Coach

    What satanic arrangement is that? That guy must be MAD. I don’t mean to be insulting but it’s the truth. It’s absurd, inappropriate, unacceptable, out of place… in fact it’s PURE MADNESS. Ok let’s not be emotional about this. Even the bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing, not he that the wife finds. In the garden, God gave the responsibility of work to the man and it is not the woman’s responsibility.

     

    James Alabi (Abinibi) – Creative Entrepreneur

    Sure! There is nothing wrong with it as long as both of them have an understanding and the guy keeps his promise. Borrowing money from her to buy the ring might be a decision to make official the relationship till they are ready for the actual wedding.

  • Swapping the pill with supplements

    WE all crave love and belonging. As we look around, the truth is that we feel better when feel loved and are appreciated.

    New friendships, new romances often bring excitement and lovebirds get enthralled in newfound connections.

    In fact, these times feel so good and many often describe it as “the honeymoon period.” A time when we get carried away and see mostly the good in the other person. As time goes on, the honeymoon period comes to an end and real life settles in. From this point, stress increases, relationships hit bumps, arguments begin to surface and, if we’re not careful, people begin to grow apart.

    Cherishing can turn to complaint, love can turn to frustration and connection can turn into what feels like an eternal distance. That original sense of love and connection becomes lost in the abyss. The connection gets lost, not because we’re not meant to be together but because we forgot to nourish what we had.

    Maureen was supposed to be the best thing that ever happened in his life. But now their emotional story has changed to the proverbial eye-for-an-eye tactics. Even though it was all over, Nnamdi still cannot understand why his emotional queen descended so low to do the things that have been unravelled.

    How could Maureen do such a thing? That is the sad question on his mind as he recounts how the girl he wanted to marry travelled out of the country with another man for two weeks. Sadly, he is still in love with her and he is not sure if he should let go.

    “At a point, I have made up my mind to forgive her but I realised that she was not remorseful at all.” But again, that is a crap. How can you forgive someone who hasn’t really admitted her guilt? How can you forgive someone who takes a delight in hurting you and making you look like a fool all the time?

    The damage had already been done and like a bitter pill, he continued to swallow the revelations as they came in bits and pieces.

    For a number of people, there are times when things go so bad that it feels like you just cannot forge ahead anymore. At such moments, you are stuck with emotional pills that you must swallow to get stronger. It is at this emotional juncture that you continue to ask yourself if you would be able to deal with it or not.

    Like the phrase ‘bitter pill to swallow,’ you are faced with unpleasant emotional facts that have to be accepted. However, those who have survived the symptoms move further from just taking the pill with supplements (something sweet and natural).

    Here, it is important to make yourself happy, no matter what is happening around you. Happiness would make you radiate from inside and your world would go round and round.

    About six years ago, Moji moved from Abuja to Lagos and joined a multinational company. Interestingly, she actually started with a part-time contract and went onto a full-time arrangement barely two years later. Her dedication and determination saw her rising to the top of her department in such a short while and it looked like she had the world in her pocket.

    Unfortunately, she was in for a rude shock when an old flame she dumped about five year back for his unfaithful attitude was employed to be her immediate boss in the office. From that point, it became an enormously difficult journey to be able to feel comfortable as well as earn the respect from her subordinates who were reporting directly to the new lord of the manor.

    Hard work did not save her from this emotional villain. All her toil and labour ended up with awkward conversations about her non-performance. It was so obvious that he never recovered from the emotional red card and he was still very bitter about the rejection. So he did everything including blackmail to make life unbearable for our dear friend.

    “It was the most traumatic period in my life. Sometimes, I sit alone where no one can see me and cry for hours. Then I came to the realisation that my tears did not change anything, it did not bring any solution to the problem but actually affected my productivity at work. It was obvious that it was a situation that I could not change.”

    In her heart, she began to search for a lasting solution. Was it better to continue to swallow this bitter pill and accept it as a cross she must carry? Perhaps it was better to search for alternatives, something that would relieve her tension. The answer finally came and she decided to resign and look for a job in a more conducive environment. She called his bluff and sent in her resignation letter. It actually ushered in the new beginning she wanted and in a short while she got a stable relationship and a better job.

    The crux of the matter is that you can’t survive in an environment where conflicts, deception and betrayal thrive. It is therefore better to go back to the emotional drawing board to discover the supplements you need to forge ahead.

    Dietary supplements are vitamins, minerals, herbs, and many other products. They can come as pills, capsules, powders, drinks, and energy bars. Supplements do not have to go through the testing that drugs do.

    Some supplements can play an important role in health. For example, calcium and vitamin D are important for keeping bones strong. Pregnant women can take the vitamin folic acid to prevent certain birth defects in their babies.

    Even though you heart has been tainted with bitterness and confusion, the best candidates in the emotional candidates are those who are determined to forge ahead and not get bogged down with emotional pills, pills that would obviously come with a number of side effects.

  • Ogbonna’s grand wedding

    WHEN former Miss Chinasa Viola Ogbonna accepted Mr. Chris Ogbonna Emmanuel Egburonu’s hand in marriage on Saturday, 10th May, 2014 at Mater Dei Cathedral, Azikiwe Road, Umuahia, Abia State, guests described the ceremony as ‘an event that would not be forgotten in a hurry in Umuahia.’

    In attendance at the grand reception held in Villa Roy Hotels and Suits, No. 19 Mission Hill, also in Umuahia, the Abia State capital, were the crème de la crème of both Abia and Imo states, including large delegates from the Ogbonna family in Mbaise, Imo State, Egburonu family and their well wishers from Apuanu Item in Abia State, the Ogbulafor kindred from Olokoro Umuahia and Viola/Ogbonna’s friends and colleagues from Lagos, Port-Harcourt, Aba, Calabar and surrounding cities in the eastern part of Nigeria.

  • The men in our lives

    The men in our lives

    ONE of them laid the egg that brought us into this world. When we tried to talk, his name was the second we uttered. We grew up seeing him as our hero as he was on hand to cater to our needs.

    However, at a certain age, we saw him as the villain (father dearest).

    Some of them we grew up with, we played together and fought each other as they always turned out to bully us as caring as they were. They want to live our lives for us because they feel they know better. They may know better, but can’t they let us be who we “wanna be?”(Big brothers).

    Then comes those we never really grew up with. Those we hate to love, love to love, love to hate. They seem to have a stronger hold on us than the men we were with during our formative years.

    They are boys actually, but because of their domineering presence in our lives, they’ve become men!

    They rule our hearts, our minds, our souls; they make us fools for love.

    They are the major reason why we have so much trouble with the other men we have biological ties with. (Boy friends)

    How can one ever forget the men whose real interest we are oblivious of?

    They are our parents’ male domestic staff, our teachers… my goodness! Our lecturers, our brothers’ friends, our cousins, even our “uncles” and father’s friends as we mature.

    Some of them openly make amorous advances but we are way too innocent to know the depth of their ungodly interest in us.

    Unknown to us, a mere look from them strips us naked and one cannot even imagine what goes on in their heads. If only we knew, perhaps we would run far away from them. (Cradle snatchers)

    The men in our lives love us, protect us, and harass us emotionally and physically, cause us so much pain and make us wonder why we came into this world as females.

    But, can we really survive without them?

    No wonder, they say it’s a man’s world!

     

    Hello peeps,

    I am glad to be in touch with you again. Some girls have been sending messages to me to write about dealing with boys. While that makes sense, there are other men out there we ought to learn to deal with as well. However, the first male I’ll be discussing in these series would be the most important man in our life of all time – our father. True, so many fathers have failed their children for one reason or the other. At the same time, there are fathers who remain precious gems to us for the rest of our lives even after their demise. Who knows, many a father may not even know they are not carrying out their due responsibilities – now I am not referring to the financial aspect but talking in general terms. I’ll be writing on what we expect from our fathers and how the father’s love coupled with a strict upbringing and attention to the least detail of a girl’s life could make her not only a very special child but a rare gem and an extra-ordinary human being. Our fathers are meant to be our heroes. Every female would do everything to make her hero happy and proud of her. True or false? You know better.

     

    FATHER DEAREST

    To start with, we were brought into this world as a result of copulation between a man and a woman. When we tried to talk, our father’s name was the second we called after our mother’s. He is the very first man in our life. In our formative years we grow to love him so much. He becomes our hero especially if we grow up living with him under the same roof. He takes care of things (if he is the responsible type) and we assume he fights any evil around us. We run into his arms and want him to carry us on his shoulder even when we can walk. He is the first we take our homework to before he directs us to our mother. He is the one we often boast about at school. “My daddy is … my daddy bought me … took me…” and so on. Like mummy does not exist. All of these happen in our formative and impressionable years. Well, it continues for me though he passed on eleven years ago.

    When young people get to their teens and start experiencing all sorts of changes in their bodies, they see the world as a whole new place. They feel they have to be left alone and express themselves the way they deem fit living life to the fullest in the way they understand it. This is usually contrary to what daddy thinks. As such, it is rare to find a teenager who has never rebelled or tried to rebel against her father. This is because any responsible father will always protect his children, especially his daughter.

  • Judith Amaechi, Bishop Idahosa and others win Wise Women Awards

    THE brightly decorated hall acted as a lovely back drop to the Wise Women Awards (WWA) held at the banquet hall of the Sheraton Hotel and Towers, Ikeja last weekend. The Awards, a forum that aims to honour and recognise ordinary Christian women who are impacting the church and wider community, is organised by Wisdom for Women International (UK).

    Founder of WWI, co-Pastor of Triumphant Church International, Pastor Marjorie Esomowei, in her remarks noted that the awards honour women who love and serve Jesus Christ and is a way of recognising their efforts.

    Various women from different backgrounds and professions received awards for their endeavours in their chosen fields. Among them was the First Lady of Rivers State, Dame Judith Amaechi. Dame Judith, who was represented at the event by Hon. Maureen Tamuno, noted that the awards which began in 2005 have made great impact in its nearly ten years of existence. She commended the organisers for creating a platform for recognising the impact of women in the church and the wider community.

    Other winners included Bishop Margaret Idahosa and Bishop Peace Okonkwo (Mother of the Faith award), Mrs Oredola Sonubi (Mission award), Prof. Olufunmilayo Oloruntimehin (Naomi Award), Sola Allyson Obaniyi (the music award category whose music impacts both the church and unchurched), Mary Ikoku, President, Working Mums Africa (Woman in media), and Tara Fela Durotoye (Make-up artist for Exceptional Young Woman category).

    Others were Mojisola Abdul (Professional Christian Woman category), Pastor Nkoyo Rapu, (Christian Woman in Ministry category) and Fola Soyebo (Woman in the Community category).

  • Leftover lingerie causing ripples

    Leftover lingerie causing ripples

    I travelled out of town for about six months but I have been communicating regularly with my fiancee. On a daily basis, he kept on telling me how he missed me so much, could not do much in my absence and the fact that he had never seen any girl while I was away.

    His remarks and the way he welcomed me back made me very proud of him. I came to his apartment immediately I came back to tidy up the place and keep his company. While I was cleaning up the bedroom I ran into some lingerie in the wardrobe that were not mine. When I asked him about the lingerie he was really upset and refused to give me an answer. Ada

     

    Response

    That discovery gives you the true picture of the heart that you are dealing with. It is pure deception and nothing else. Agreed, a lot of men are unfaithful, but again, he should be man enough to own up when it becomes so obvious. He was busy painting the town red while he was pretending to love you blindly. You really need to get to the root of the lingerie matter because it would determine whether to give him a second chance or not.

     

    Arrested for raping someone

    I just discovered that my boyfriend was arrested for raping another lady in our neighbourhood. His brother bailed him but no one in the family has said a word about his disgusting action to me. I got the details from friends and my relatives. I don’t know how to confront him with the fact that I have about this “dirty secret”. Oluwakemi

     

    Response

    It is so sad, indeed. It can be really embarrassing to hear that your man has descended this low. Apart from the emotional damage that has been done to you psychologically, he is also exposing you to sexually transmitted diseases and much more.

     

    I need something concrete

    I have been separated from my wife in the past four years and I am in dire need of a replacement. I met a young widow at a party a few months ago and we have been chatting online. From the details that we have exchanged, she looks like what I have been looking for and I want a steady relationship with her. However, each time I try to talk to her about my plans, she becomes evasive saying that no man can replace her late husband in her heart. How can I win this heart? Musa

     

    Response

    She has not really got over the demise of her husband and so it would be difficult for you to convince her to settle down with you now. However, if you really think she is what you want, then you must be ready to give her more time to think about it, watch you show her you truly love her and gradually worm your way into her heart.

     

    He turns me off

    For about eight months, I have been dating a guy that I love and admire very much. I actually like everything about his career, lifestyle and personality. The only snag in the relationship is his attitude to his personal hygiene. He sweats a lot and does not like taking his bath as often as I love to do. Whenever he comes back home late from work, he finds it difficult to have a shower and goes straight to bed. At such moments, when he makes sexual advances to me I am turned off by the smell oozing out of his body. I have tried to let him know how I feel about this but he just won’t change or listen. Chinyere

     

    Response

    It is obvious that you are a very clean lady and this gentleman is not. You must help him to change this habit in a loving way. Once you can reach out to him nicely, then you are sure to have him adopt your ways.

  • ‘My memorable moments’

    ‘My memorable moments’

    Kate Ijeoma Ibeanusi is a two-time graduate of Anthropology from the University of Ibadan and an alumnus of the Enterprise Development Centre of the Pan African University. She is currently in charge of the Prisoners Rehabilitation and Welfare Action Lagos Office and working in the area of Social Development and Rehabilitation.
    For about 20 years, her organisation has been instrumental in pushing for reviews in the prison acts, training and re-training of prison officers on human rights best practices in Nigeria and in five other countries of Africa. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about the achievements, challenges, safety, insecurity in the land as well as reforms in the justice sector.

    WHAT are the things that you are passionate about?

    For me, working with the less privileged, vulnerable and downtrodden persons in society is a passion. I am a women’s rights advocate with years of experience working with abused women and children. Working with the prisons naturally falls within this passion, especially considering that the prison and prison system is not a popular area of work. It especially gives me joy to see a prison inmate released, rehabilitated and reunited with their family. On another hand, it is challenging when we do not get funding support to follow through with all these laudable plans and interventions.

    What is the focus of your organisation?

    PRAWA is a non-governmental organisation set up in December 1994 to promote institutional reforms in the formal and informal sectors for access to justice, rehabilitation and social development of prisoners, ex-prisoners, torture victims and youths at risk. Our work cuts across actual reforms in practices and policies within the justice sector, to the promotion of safe societies where persons and communities are empowered to reduce crime, offending behaviour and torture as well as research, document and raise awareness about gaps in upholding rights and effects of practice and policy implementation in the justice and security sector. We are situated with headquarters in Enugu and offices in Lagos and Abuja.

    The organisation initiated the Prison Link Project where family members of inmates are contacted and informed of their relatives in prison. More recently, we have been involved in activities to reduce the number of awaiting trial persons across Nigerian prisons through the ‘Speeding up of Criminal Justice for Awaiting Trial Persons’ which is ongoing in Enugu and the FCT, Abuja. The Illegal Migration and Awareness Project, I-MAP, is a youth-based initiative to creatively engage young persons for the purpose of identifying their skills and talents and promoting the development of such for the prevention of crime and illegal migration. This project currently works with secondary schools in Lagos and Enugu to raise awareness on the ills of illegal migration. There is also the Crime and Human Rights Awareness (CHAT) project currently working with a secondary school in Lagos as a pilot. We have also, as part of our support to female inmates in Lagos, started a periodic provision of sanitary items for women prisoners through our ‘Live Clean in Prison campaign’, among many others.

    Tell us about some of the challenges you face on the job

    The major challenge is in the area of funding. Especially funding for youth empowerment initiatives, crime prevention and drug awareness programmes. Our rehabilitation work is the least funded and this is a major challenge. The inability of corporate Nigeria to see the need for investing in crime prevention and rehabilitation interventions leads to increase in insecurity as is being experienced today in the country. As a people, the responsibility of building our society through support for laudable and credible initiative lies with us.

    How do you cope with these challenges?

    We are not coping, we just keep doing what we know how to do best. We cannot do without funding, but in any case we keep putting out necessary information in the public and social space and work closely with the agencies to strengthen their capacity to do their work better. Provide pro bono services to inmates and so on. The donor sources are not sufficient to support all the numerous efforts. We are reaching out to corporate Nigeria for support and sponsorships of our programmes. Until as a nation we recognise that donor funding will not solve all our problems and begin to support our home grown initiatives, then we are bound to be continuously harassed daily with the disturbing news of rising insurgency and terrorist activities. As corporate bodies operating within the Nigerian society, your continued existence and progress are hinged on safety and security in the land hence the need to support youth based initiatives especially around crime prevention and empowerment.

    Let’s talk about some of the memorable moments at work

    The recent release of a female inmate by an Ijebu-Ode magistrate court was not only memorable but also commendable considering the various challenges encountered in the process. This is only one among the several other land mark cases being handled by the other offices of PRAWA. Recently in Enugu, PRAWA secured the release of a man who has been on awaiting trial for over 17 years. It was also a memorable experience for the organisation.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life?

    Hmmmn, my greatest influence has been family relationships. I have enjoyed unimaginable family support and this has greatly influenced my resolve in my area of work.

    How would you describe government’s support for the sector?

    Government efforts at supporting civil society groups are very minimal. But sincerely, they have shown commitments in some areas especially where it relates to reforms. I will speak about the sector where we operate. The Prison Service, the Judiciary, Police, Legal Aid Council have all been receptive to the reforms we are proposing. As for other civil society groups, everyone is doing their best. Nigeria is a vast entity; no single group can address the myriad of social problems facing the country. We just need to work together in a more coordinated manner to achieve our goals.

    If you had to compare your work with colleagues in other parts of the world, what would you say?

    I would say we are making an effort. On the grounds of comparison, we are all operating in different terrains with diverse challenges. Our society is still trying to understand the work of social advocates and civil society groups. For a million and one Nigerians, civil society groups are all charitable organisations who do not need to be supported and this hampers work, unlike in other climes, where ordinary citizens support causes and donate towards them. You find that impact and value of work is felt more over there. But I am optimistic, that with our continuous engagements with other societies, knowledge sharing, we can only get better in time.

    What changes would you like to see in the sector?

    First, I would want to see that the problem of awaiting trial persons is reduced to not more than 10% of the total prison population and those in the system are processed within the shortest time possible, not exceeding three months and moved to the next stage. This will be possible where the options of alternatives to imprisonment, community service is fully developed and in full force.

    I would also want to see a society that places a higher premium on the value of its citizens with a greater commitment towards protection of lives and properties.

    More importantly, I want to see a Nigeria where women will be allowed to function at their optimum, having access to quality education, health facilities and unfettered economic opportunities.

    Who do you consider as your mentor or role model?

    I greatly admire Mrs. Obiageli Ezekwesili. She is bold, forthright and unpretentious. She is an inspiration.

    If you had to advise women, what would you tell them?

    Women, women, women. My simple advise will be ‘Woman, know thy self’. This for me is borne out of the fact that you are who say you are. The desire of women to be defined by any other thing outside of themselves places an unseen shackle on all that the woman represents. As women, we must first recognise our potentials, if you wait for another human person to define you, then you are bound to operate and function below your best.

    What do you look forward to in the next five years?

    Continuous learning. I want to be better at the things I do, with every passing day, so I keep learning. As I earlier said, I am a gender, equal rights and opportunities advocate with interests in women’s rights and child protection. A counsellor, workshop facilitator, public speaker and promoter of equitable relationships and a balanced family life.