The Nation Newspaper

Category: Hearts

  • My man does not care to buy me ordinary body cream

    Aunty Deola, I am a girl 21. My man does not care to buy me ordinary body cream and when I make requests the reply is, “Do you love me because of my money?”

    My dear, how old is this your man? Maybe this person we’re talking about here is still a young man taking money for boxers from his parents and you want him to buy you body cream. I may not be right. But if I am, you should know that when a boy or young man is yet to find a good job and all he has is love, then you have to take him the way he is. He won’t break a bank to please you. You must have seen his financial incapability before you went into a relationship with him. Or may be like most women (young or old), you just assumed that since he’s a man and he was brave enough to talk to you, then he should have enough money to take care of your needs. Things don’t always happen that way. When a man says he loves you and he shows it, that is the first thing on his mind. He wants to show affection. It is after that, that others things follow.

    One thing I know is that even very stingy men want to look responsible to their women and so, when they have enough to spare, they spend it. Men however do not like women who make unnecessary demands. In fact, from my understanding of men, they want to give you without you asking, except for the occasional demands for important assistance. But by the time a girl gets to the point where she must get money for body cream and hair-do and she doesn’t have a job to unable her do these things on her own from time to time, men may get discouraged and may even feel used.

    As a young woman, you must learn to be independent and to love for the sake of love first before expecting to use the man at will. Men love women who are reluctant to ask; they are ever so willing to make those kinds of women happy.

    This is my opinion, but if you think otherwise, you may have a serious talk with him about your expectations – financial and otherwise – in the relationship. Take care!

  • What do I do to make him know I love him?

    I’m 19 years old, I am in love with someone but he does not know that I love him. I’ve tried to forget about him but I can’t, please help me; tell me what to do to make him know I love him. Thanks. Hussaina.

    Dear Hussaina, in as much as I don’t have much fears about people of your age falling in love, I like letting them know that 18 to 20 are still vulnerable ages when men can work on your innocence and take you for granted.

    Talking about a girl coming out to tell a guy who hasn’t noticed her that she’s in love with him could spell trouble if the guy is not matured enough. It might be interpreted to mean free invitation to sex. It might be interpreted to mean desperation and it could be used against her. So before walking up to a guy to say you like him, be very sure he’s exposed and matured and has good friends who won’t tell him to use the opportunity as an awoof to devour easily.

  • My pastor boyfriend talks to me only when he wants to kiss me

    Good afternoon madam. I’m 16 years old. I met this man; he’s 23 years and he’s a pastor and we’re dating. Each time I visit him he doesn’t talk to me, but he will rather drop recharge cards on the bed for me to load in my phone and exchange SMS with him while we’re in the same rum. But when I leave, he will call and talk to me telling me how much he enjoyed my company. And when I’m around, he will never talk to me, the only time he looked at my face and talked was when he asked me to kiss him. Please madam, I am confused; what should Ii do? I need your advice. Reply me please. J.

    Dear J, shy people find it hard to express themselves when they’re around the people they love but I doubt if your pastor boyfriend plays dumb when you’re around due to shyness. Shy people don’t play dumb, they talk, but you could tend to be uneasy when they’re around the people they love and they may not be able to lock eyes with you for a long time. They may get busy doing something to hide their uneasiness.

    But not talking at all means something else. I suspect that Mr. Pastor is just playing games with you and he’s enjoying the fun the suspense is generating.

    The world is full of pastors these days o! Who made him a pastor at 23? Why would he make a small girl of 23 his girlfriend? Why would he be in the same room with you and not utter a word to you and why would he drop recharge cards on the bed for you?

    Watch how you go visiting this queer guy alone. The Ibos (I think) have a saying that one day, monkey go go market, e no go return. I pray he won’t make a monkey out of you. He has started by dropping

    recharge cards for you on the bed and asking you to kiss him. It will progress from there as you encourage him in this deaf and dumb game.

    He will ask you to touch something one day and from there others things may set in.

    J, your age mates these days are discovering their talents and making good use of it. There are so many of your age mates in the university now going after course work and all other important things. A lot of your age mates who are not so lucky to be in schools are learning vocations that will make them better people. Face what’s important and let Pastor go and face church work. His own pastor is one of the bad ones that will ask a small girl to meet him in the bedroom. Please give me his full names and the name of his church; I will help you find out if their church doctrines allow unmarried people of different sexes to stay together in a room.

     

  • My Valentine’s Day treat

    I have fond memories of my days with Granny Fanny-Jane (aka Mama Saro). I was the only grandchild who lived with

    her from infancy till mid teenage years, and later sometimes during adulthood. We used to sit together baking or cooking during the day time and you could bet that all the hours were spent gisting.

    Towards early evenings, we would retire to the balcony or the living room to talk some more. Many times, she would help cut my nails, clean my ears and generally groom me to become a lady. As I grew older and she weaker, I started helping her dye her hair, cut her nails and I was (and still bad with weaving of hair), I would just comb her hair for her and part it in the middle. We had so much laughter and fun.

    And with all those books and novels, my mum used to buy for me, I always found time away from Granny to read and enrich my mind. I was the best Government student in my set at St. Teresa’s College, which was a shame because with so much creativity packed into my head, I should have been the best in Literature. I got by in Literature too, at least I never failed to make my As up to GCE and WAEC. I tried.

    I used to fantasize a lot too and I put all my thoughts into drawing.

    All my mates in school would remember all the cartoons I used to draw. I could remember how some of them brought exercise books for me to create stories for them in graphic details, which they would take home to read.

    What all that did was creating in me a very soft and romantic person.

    As an adult now, I enjoy evening strolls with my partner as much as I enjoy soaking his feet regularly in the foot tub I got especially for him. I make cooking and serving of it such a delight that people just love eating my meals. I wake the household with soft music most days and make sure there is enough fragrance in the atmosphere to kick-start the day. And oh goodness… we can talk and talk and talk!

    With us, there’s no limit to gisting. Even when we’re having our usual misunderstandings, we always make up by talking some more. Hmm… Mama Saro’s style!

    Saturdays are spent either at any of the parks with us playing games or visiting our favourite fura-de-nunu joint or just driving around town to see and admire the best architectural designs in the hope that one day, we would have one of them someday soon.

    We often have fights over eating out because I love oriental meals while he loves local dishes. He almost always wins though because he blackmails me with the question of whether I’m not the full and happy Nigerian that I say I am.

    We must have done all the romantic stuff under the sun that when this year’s Valentines’ Day came, we were at a loss on what to do to make it different. For us, everyday is a celebration of love. We were so undecided about what to do express our love. We often spread some of the love we have with those less fortunate than us. We all have them in neighbourhood and in our religious assemblies.

    So, what we did to celebrate this year was to give even more to those who may not be able to express love the way we do. I fried and baked and cooked, and we took it to whose smiles at receiving such goodies drew us even closer. It was a very big treat from us to them and the smiles from them just gave us the best Valentine’s Day, yet.

    Mama Saro never gave me a Valentine’s Day present, but the love she taught me has lived with me ever since.

    I pray we all learn to show love to those around us. For you all, I’m bringing these fabulous tips for spreading around a little love to those you care about.

    Food is always a good choice when it comes to spreading your Valentine love. How about cooking food and taking to charity homes this weekend.

    Clothes and shoes are always appreciated, whether they are your new clothes/shoes or old (but not torn ones). Make those less fortunate than you look gorgeous too. Your sweetheart is sure to be impressed with the love you both share with others.

    There may be childless people around you. Give them the opportunity to be called daddy and mummy by arranging for children to visit them and help them with small chores. Give them the opportunity to tell stories to these children and encourage them to be hugged and kissed. It is still a part of spreading love and making other people happy.

    Looking for something to do this weekend into style and waoh people?

    Why not arrange for you and your amiable neighbours to talk to those miscreants in your neighbourhood and let them know the dangers of smoking weed or living dangerous lives. Showing a little love and lending a hand of support (without bringing them into your homes until you’re sure about them) can save our youths and the society. Get them jobs if you can and monitor their progress.

    Looking for date ideas? Visit somebody who is more of a recluse and draw the person out. Most people who keep indoors are lonely and some are suicidal. Save a life but don’t visit alone.

    Volunteer with your partner and your neighbours for a cause. It is a great way to spend time together on something that you are passionate about. You can think of visiting a hospital and making someone’s day a little brighter.

    Perform a small act of kindness. You can truly show someone the power of love just through a simple act of kindness. Don’t ignore that man or woman on your street who doesn’t have a car and has to trek to the bus-stop with all those children in tow.

    All in all, celebrate the power of love. Though, this is belated, but love is still very much around, Happy Valentine’s Day!

     

    How to Get Closer with Your Partner or Spouse by Jasmine Starr

    Being intimate with your partner or spouse sometimes needs to be worked out. The intimacy that once was very available during the start of the relationship becomes hard to find after several years of being together. Raising a family, maintaining a home and career moves usually overwhelms you with too much stress that you tend to forget to get closer or intimate even with your partner or spouse.

    This intimacy is very much needed in order to keep the marriage working. You must take time and give extra effort in getting closer with your partner or spouse. The following are some of the tips that you can use in order to maintain the bond between you and your partner or spouse.

    •Take time to listen to your spouse or partner. Be keen about the non-verbal signal that your partner is showing you. If you think that he has become distant from you, entice him to a talk and discuss your issues.

    •Make sure that you keep a cool head and you listen to his ideas and vice versa.

    •Be honest always. Keeping secrets from your spouse will make you worry which will affect your behaviour towards him. It is always advisable

    and healthy in a relationship that both of you do not keep any secret from each other. And open line communication is the key to this and an honest attitude should guide you.

    •Let your spouse feel that he is important. Showing your partner that he is important to you will keep you close to each other because you can only show the importance of a person in your life when you always take time to spend quality time with him. It does not need to be long but a simple greeting as soon as you see him walk in the room will surely make him feel important because you noticed him.

    Never forget to make contact a physical one with your spouse. Even when you are walking to the grocery store hold his hand or when you are watching TV lean you head on his shoulder. These are just simple gestures but it is important to keep the intimacy between the two of you.

  • Three ways to make him fall in love with you

    Have you ever found yourself falling for a man you were dating and wondered if he was feeling the same way? Did you find yourself trying to prove what a great catch you are by being sweeter, funnier and smarter in hopes that he would fall in love with you? Focusing on what a man wants and ingratiating yourself in this way may feel like the natural thing to do, but it’s the worst way to try to make a man feel romantic love for you.

    Love isn’t a reasonable emotion – and being “nice” and “understanding” and “a good sport” won’t get you where you want to go. Here are some ways that will:

     

    Tip 1: Don’t give a man more than he gives you. Love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever, is all about you being able to receive love.

    Most of us only know how to give. We give for lots of reasons – because we’re taught that’s the way to get to a man’s heart (it isn’t) because we see other women do it, and because deep down, it feels uncomfortable and scary to be vulnerable enough to really get love.

    “A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives.”

    A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives.

    When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.

     

    Tip 2: Don’t give away exclusivity if he hasn’t yet committed. We become totally, emotionally invested in a man when we’re exclusive with him because he has all our time and attention. There’s no way we can stop wondering about where the relationship is going. But the more we think about it and talk about it, the more we push a man away.

     

    Tip 3: Don’t give him gifts, make him dinner or pay for dates Yes, this sounds unfair, and yet, who pays is often the difference in his mind between friends hanging out together and a “date.”

    If a man complains about paying for everything, let him know you don’t care what you do, you feel great being with him, and you don’t want to pay. Walking, hanging out in bookstores, having a picnic in a park can all be fun, romantic ways to get close to a man.

    (And forget about cooking dinner, or trying to make dating “reciprocal.” A bowl of popcorn and something to drink is fine.)

    When you give a man gifts, give him all your attention and energy, and give MORE than you receive, you’re OVERFUNCTIONING.

    Overfunctioning is doing more than your fair share and stepping up to rescue a man because you know you can do a better job. It’s arriving from your masculine energy. It feels aggressive and forward to a man.

    And it’s totally unattractive to him.

  • Maintaining intimacy during pregnancy

    Sharing dates, intercourse and anticipation of parenthood should bring couples closer – with or without orgasm

    The swelling belly that punctuates the beauty of motherhood can sometimes be a speed bump to intimacy between husband and wife. It doesn’t have to be. Here’s how to navigate maternity in a way that preserves the romance and sexual chemistry.

    Mission 1: How can a husband create an atmosphere for sex without coming off as a selfish, horny, insensitive pervert?

    Emotional Foreplay! Romantic overtures like the husband bringing flowers, cooking a special dinner, caressing the stomach and even brushing the hair are signs of tenderness to remind his lady that she is still beautiful and adored. It doesn’t hurt to come right out and call her beautiful either.

    Intimacy during pregnancy is about more than sex; it is ultimately about two people feeling connected in a cloud of protective love and desire of their own making. That means intercourse, emotion, and communication are all part of the intimate package needed especially during pregnancy.

    Mission 2: As the baby grows, sex feels uncomfortable for me as a wife. What are the most comfortable positions for sexual intimacy during pregnancy?

    First of all, you won’t harm the baby. Second of all, fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate during sex may be so off-putting during the first trimester that sex is not feasible. But in the second-trimester when the hormones kick in and the breast grow rounder and more luscious — whoa baby! Here are tips to consider for sexual intimacy during pregnancy then: have sex sideways, or lie on your back slightly propped up on a pillow while your partner holds your legs up. Mutual oral or manual stimulation might also be comfortable and desirable.

    Mission 3: How can I think about sex when I’m fat and feeling unpretty?

    Embrace pregnancy as one of the most beautiful times in a woman’s life. It’s a cliche but it’s true. Many men actually like when the body becomes rounder, especially the bosom. Femininity is often associated with soft, fleshy curves. Remember the full-figured Rubenesque art celebrated as the epitome of womanhood during the 17th century? So, buy some clothes —including lingerie — that flaunt that incredible belly and bosom!

    Mission 4: Why do I crave MORE sex now that I’m pregnant — and what if my husband can’t keep up with my new sex drive?

    Many pregnant women, due to the increase in progesterone and estrogen, may find their libido surging! Their bodies will supply extra sensitivity of the breast and labia, as well as increased vaginal lubrication. These basics for increased sex drive, however, may go no where if the husband’s drive goes down. Sometimes husbands fear they can hurt the baby, which is rarely true. Let him know that the baby is protected by your abdominal muscles as well as the amniotic sac.

    Some husbands find maternity to be a time of pristine adoration and find sex with the mother figure inappropriate. If your husband has this reluctance, consider going to talk it out together with a therapist. If that doesn’t work, you might have to consider self-pleasure.

    In the final trimester, a lack of sexual interest might be shared by both of you as you anticipate parenthood. Husbands often exhibit lower testosterone and increased estrogen that might lower their sex drive as they near fatherhood, according to a recent report in Redbook Magazine.

    Mission 5: If I want to have sex while pregnant, during what time periods are safest?

    The first trimester is generally not recommended or even desirable if you are experiencing physical symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, breast tenderness and cramping. In the second trimester those ailments wane and that time is generally the safest and most lusty period. The final trimester is safe as well and can relieve the stress of being pregnant. However, during the final days be cautious about orgasms that squeeze the uterus and consider opting for simple intercourse without climax.

    Some reports suggest women who continue sexual intimacy while pregnant , especially during the last trimester, don’t need forced deliveries.

    Mission 6: Can I use personal satisfaction toys during intimate play with my spouse?

    According to Dr. Marjorie Greenfield of DrSpock.com, using toys, such as vibrators during pregnancy, is safe. However, some experts caution that you increase the risk of going into early labor because the more powerful orgasms could lead to contractions in the third trimester. Make sure any object inserted into the vagina is clean to avoid bacterial infections. Also, do not insert too deeply so as to avoid puncturing the placenta, according to doctors on BabyCenter.com — objects can punctuate more readily than flesh.

    As an alternative, the husband may wish to try a vibrating ring for intercourse.

    Some women report that the orgasms from electric sex actually help them fall asleep better during pregnancy.

    Mission 7: If I’m not experiencing the expected lubrication during pregnancy, what can I do?

    Try a non-irritating lubricant like AstroGlide or Slippery Stuff. If you prefer to go the organic route for intimacy during pregnancy, coconut oil is a great natural lubricant that smells good and is anti-bacterial.

    Mission 8: Instead of sex, what else can my husband and I do to feel close to each other?

    Hugging, kissing, spooning should be constant staples when a couple plans intimacy during pregnancy. Avoid massages which could be too stimulating to the uterus and baby. Going on dates might be a fun activity to look forward to — and not just for the wife. Dates would remind the husband that he’s special and that you have time for more than just the baby. This is very important psychologically as the husband undoubtedly anticipates that you and the baby, by virtue of being in the same body for nine months, will be devoted to one another in a way he can’t share. Some couples enjoy writing daily letters, notes or journals to each other about their maternity experience and anticipation — tokens that can be shared later with the child as a keepsake.

    Don’t forget the technical flirtations by text-message, email or cell phone when the spouse is working and away from home frequently. Three-way intimacies like listening to romantic music with headphones on the stomach for the baby or reading aloud together so the baby can pick up on both your voices are also overwhelmingly tender moments.

    Source: Yahoo Health

  • From you to me

    •Adeola, my dear, the lady after my heart. God bless you. You don’t know how many lives you touch every Saturday. Your articles make my day. As I was reading your article of 26 Jan 2012, I read the story of Dami. It is not only the women but some men too are fraudsters too.

    Most of them call telling you that they are in the EFCC cell, that you should send recharge cards. Some call telling that their divorce case is in court that he you should provide money for the divorce case and that once that is over then he gets married to you. Further investigations, you discover there is no divorce and the person is happily married. You find someone you have not seen telling you I love you.

     

    •Adeola, I don’t know what the world is turning into. I remember days of pen pals. I have seen people get married through this. There are genuine ones out there also the ones who are fraudsters and more. All you do is if your profile is published be on alert, be careful, be warned, that is just the truth. Most of the men calling may not have genuine interest, all they are looking for is bed partners or to dupe one. Please keep it up. Don’t let these fraudsters kill your vision.

    God bless you. Have a great day. – Onyi, 08028260208.

     

    •Hi Deola, more power to your elbow. My name is Adeyinka Olowoniyi, I’m a reader of your articles because I’m also in matchmaking business and I want to react to the guy who said a girl duped him. Maybe the guy is impotent or how can someone be so foolish that you are in love with someone you have never seen before. I beg continue with your good work. God will crown your efforts.

     

     

  • My sister insists on getting me a wife and says my preferred wife would fold me in her laps and beat me up from time to time!

    Hello, am Ebube, 35 years, an Economist from Imo State. I’ve never been in love (I am a virgin). My elder sister whom I cherish so much asked me to let her get me a suitable wife otherwise my preferred wife would fold me in her laps and beat me up from time to time! How true is my sister’s talk regarding my interest in marriage? What’s your advice? Don’t publish please.

     

    Ebube, I’m publishing despite your plea that I shouldn’t. Sometimes, some of the mails I get from some of you are so plain funny, unbelievable or rash or all or all-in-one. Ebube, at 35, a sister of yours is telling you that if she doesn’t get you a wife then the woman you get for yourself would fold you in her laps and beat you. If she wasn’t joking with you and you’re the one taking it seriously, then she must take you to too soft to handle a woman. In fact, for you to have even asked me if she was right at this age of yours means your sister must have seen something in you that makes her fear for you.

    It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin at 35. What with do with our sex lives are purely our own personal decisions. But if at 35, your sister can still engage you in this kind of discussion and you’re taking it so serious that you’re asking a counselor if your sister was right, then you need counseling.

    If you’re not diminutive and so pocket-sized and easy to fold in one’s laps truly, then you must cut the picture of a pitiable man. Wake up and mix with the right people. Build your confidence and stop letting people look down on you. You claim to be an Economist, carry yourself well and tell yourself you can do all things, including getting a wife whom you will put on your in her laps and love and who will love you in return.

  • She wants to use our daughter to get a second chance at marriage, but that could be deadly

    You’re doing a good job on your page; keep it up. Women can be irrational! How do you react to this? A woman leaves her hubby’s home in Kaduna, visits her mom in Port Harcourt, without the consent of her hubby.

    She was away for a month and barely two weeks of her return, she wanted to go back and she actually did. She was away again for one month.

    In the third week of her second trip, she sent an SMS- “Give me a divorce & I’ll send my siblings to pack my things.”

    I replied: “You only know what’s yours, not your siblings. be bold and pack by yourself. Before you finish packing, divorce note will be ready!”

    Eventually, she came back and I waited for her to pack. One month after, she returned. I was on the phone at about 8pm when she entered our bedroom and attacked me physically because I was talking to another zwoman. It took the man in me to free myself. In my life and 18 years of previous marriage, I never hit a woman, but in this attack, I had no other option. I taught her a lesson. After the attack, I divorced her after three years plus of marriage with a daughter. Now she wantsto use our daughter as a reason to come back. A second chance could be deadly. I want my daughter to have a dad!

     

    Dear brother, issues like this are delicate and I must be very objective in my response to you. Let’s take a look at all the intricate parts of your story before we sum them all up and arrive at a conclusion. I must however call your attention to the fact that this is a one-sided story and full of holes. It may take us knowing the other side to do justice to this problem. But since there is no other side of the story (yet), let me attempt to ask some questions and answer them at the same time.

    Question: What would make a married woman pack her things and go to her mother’s place so far away in Port-Harcourt all the way from Kaduna and stay for a whole month without her husband’s consent?

    Answer: It could be that the marriage has broken down so much that the woman doesn’t care about what the husband thinks anymore. They might have been having arguments over money or other such issues, keeping malice in the house or have stopped enjoying each other’s company.

    Question: What would make that same woman come back home and pack almost immediately back to her mother’s house and the husband is still not making an issue out of that? Meanwhile, she’s a Nigerian and the family members who should know about family and marriage values in the Nigerian context are aware of her frequent movements away from her husband’s house and none could call the man to speak with him on what was going on.Why would the mother for instance not even call the man to say hello and to announce that her daughter and granddaughter were with her on the two occasions that the daughter went home?

    Answer: It could mean only one thing, the wife’s family are well aware of the problems in the marriage. After all, the wife would have regaled them with different tales and they may have been biased. Let us not forget that that is their daughter and they would want to protect her by all means even if she is wrong.

    Question: What kind of man would just keep mute and allow his wife to stay just like that after she had threatened on the phone to come and pack her things without raising it with her and setting rules about such irresponsible movements between Kaduna and Port-Harcourt. And what kind of man would just take her back like that without ironing things out with her parents?

    Answer: You may think you’re a strong man by remaining calm in the midst of a storm, but you’re not that strong, I’m sorry to say. Even if within you, you’re aware that some of the problems in the marriage are pushing your wife away from you, one would have expected you to use the opportunity of her irrational movements to tackle it once and for all.

    Conclusion

    Two rights don’t make a wrong, so, there must be a frank roundtable discussion between you and this woman to identify where you both went wrong. You both must be able to come out truthfully about the factors that led to your separation and divorce in the first place. If you think you can take her back just like that, it would be like covering a bad wound without treating it; it will fester and cause worse damage. Be real about the emotional pains and the things that went wrong or got right when you were apart. NEVER come back to a bad marriage for the sake of children. If the underlying factors leading to problems are still visible, the children would be affected psychologically and may blame you for coming back.

    It’s a hard fact that some people are just not compatible and you cannot force that. More than anything pray about it and ask God for directions. Shun sentiments and don’t rush into going back together. Start afresh and go for dates as if you were meeting each other for the first time. Inject romance into the whole show and be truthful about finances. If she doesn’t have a job, get her something doing. Respect each other’s need for privacy and don’t go calling other women in her presence. God help you.

  • He says the other girl will go with time

    Good evening, I am in a relationship with a guy who has another girl.

    Though last year he asked me to be his girlfriend and I refused but I had feelings for him. It was after that, that he started dating the girl. Now we are together he says it is not for him to tell the girl it is over and he says the girl will go with time. He is always saying he loves me. I don’t know if he really loves me but I love him very much that anytime I think of breaking up with him I feel like I will lose my heart. What should I do? I do not want to share my guy anymore. – Destiny.

     

    My Yoruba people have a saying that what you will eventually put in your mouth should not first be smelled dispassionately. While you were still trying to perceive the guy’s smell, someone else took him away. Too bad!

    I don’t know how old you are and how old the boyfriend is because age matters when we’re advising people on matters of this nature. If you’re both adults and at that age when one should start thinking seriously about marriage, then you have to decide now whether you want to play along with this game the guy is playing. It’s obvious he finds the other girl too interesting, if not, she would have left the moment she has a whiff of you, and if she is not one to give up easily, she would have started causing the guy enough trouble to make him either leave her or reduce the time he spends with you in order to satisfy her.

    The guy might be telling her he loves her too, after all, they started before you made up your mind. And if there’s no reason to send her away, he might just be bidding his time before he chooses one of you or even another girl you’re not aware of; that is if he’s ripe enough for marriage. That is the world of men – they are polygamous in nature.

    You can’t afford to blackmail him that you will leave. If you really want to, simply walk away without making any fuss about it. If you want to stay on, it is your own decision. Only time will tell what happens to you in this relationship.