More and more elderly industrialists, politicians, clergymen and other prominent Nigerians are taking a second shot at romance in their old age and with young women in most cases, reports KUNLE AKINRINADE.
Before a cheering crowd of well-wishers on Saturday September 21, 2013, 72-year-old billionaire industrialist cum politician, Chief Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, exchanged marital vows with his 22-year-old heartthrob and Chemistry graduate, Frances Chinonyerem Enwerem, in a ceremony facilitated by Rev. Emmanuel Maduwuike at the Anglican Communion Church, Ikeduru, Imo State.
A traditional wedding had earlier been held on September 14, 2013 amid pomp and circumstance. The wedding was held two years after the 79-year-old popular publisher of Champion newspapers lost Eudora, his wife of 40 years.
At 85, prominent Ijaw leader and former Information Minister and statesman, Chief Edwin Clark, took another shot at marriage when he led Abisola Sodipo, a Yoruba lady and medical doctor from Abeokuta, Ogun State, to the altar in a traditional wedding held in Lagos in 2013.
Abisola, a former Commissioner for Health in Ogun State, was in her early 50s when she tied the nuptial knot with the Niger Delta leader, who recently clocked 93.
Unlike others who waited for some years before delving into new marriage, it took barely 18 months after the passage of his first wife, Abiodun, for renowned clergyman and General Superintendent of the Deeper Christian Life Ministry, to find the courage for another marriage as he took Esther Folashade Aduke Blaize to the altar. Kumuyi was then 71 while his new wife was 65.
At the ceremony, Kumuyi, now 79, appeared in a modest suit while his new wife turned out in a pink and purple skirt suit as they exchanged marital vows. Although the couple held their wedding reception at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in far away London, members of the church who were not privileged to attend the modest ceremony were availed the chance to watch the video of the event a few days later.
Like Kumuyi, 77-year-old Prophet Samuel Kayode Abiara, a retired General Evangelist of the Christ Apostolic Church (CAC) and founder of Vineyard of Comfort popularly known as CAC Agbala Itura, also took another shot at marriage barely two years after his wife, Christiana, died on September 3, 2016 at age 70.
The widely respected prophet tied a fresh knot with Miss Grace Ojewande at the Christ Apostolic Church, Agbala Itura in Ibadan, Oyo State on March 22, 2018. Abiara’s new wife is a Level 16 officer at the Lagos State Ministry of Education.
About seven years after his first wife, Mrs Comfort Olufunke Ponnle, died on October 29, 2012, 80-year-old front line industrialist and Chairman of MicCom Group of Companies, Prince Tunde Ponnle, found love again with 72-year-old immediate past Deputy Governor of Osun State, Mrs Titi Laoye-Tomori, capping it with a low key wedding ceremony in Osogbo, Osun State capital last year. The union was reportedly consummated in a church after a traditional wedding was held at an undisclosed location, followed by a private lavish reception attended only by close associates, friends and family members.
Nine years after he became a widower following the loss of his first wife, Elizabeth Wuraola, who died on November 8, 2003, automobile mogul and chairman of Elizade Motors, Chief Michael Ade-Ojo got married to his secretary, Taiwo Ade-Ojo in 2012.
The 82-year-old business magnate, who also owns Toyota Nigeria Limited, has since been relishing the new marriage that was blessed with a set of twins about seven years ago.
In October 2017, an 87-year-old former federal lawmaker, Senator Cycrus Nunieh, got married to a lady named Rosemary, who was in her 40s, at a ceremony witnessed by his family members, friends and kinsmen from Ogoni, Rivers State, where the octogenarian, was a traditional ruler.
Senator Nunieh had lost his first wife in 1991.
At the reception held at Hotel Presidential, Port Harcourt, the state capital, Nunieh, decked in a three-piece suit with tie, was filled with excitement as he beamed infectious smiles on the dance floor with his beautiful heartthrob.
The footage of the ceremony, which went viral on the social media, generated thousands of views from people across the globe.
Sadly, the Second Republic senator died barely one year after his society marriage in August 2018.
Why they remarried
Speaking shortly after his second wedding, Chief Iwuayanwun said his life was renewed with his marriage to a younger woman.
He said: ‘’I married a young girl, Frances Nnonye Iwuanyanwu. She is a graduate of Chemistry and she is very sound.
“She is from a very good home. She is very well domesticated. She has done so well to renew my life. I’m very grateful to her.
“My children, my family are very grateful to her too because she has been looking after me.
“My welfare is a concern to my children because they themselves cannot stay with me because of their duties. Some of them are running their families, they can’t leave their families.
“So, when I look at my life all through, I have cause to be grateful to God.’’
As it would be expected, the news of Kumuyi’s rather sudden marriage to Esther Blaize in 2010 had sparked reactions. The reactions came on the trail of his remarks in 2009, when his first wife, Abiodun passed on. Kumuyi had declared to those who wanted to know whether he would be taking another wife that It was “too early to think of a replacement.”
A statement by his church indicated that Kumuyi’s decision to remarry was not entirely his. The statement signed by the church’s Secretary, Pastor L Nnadozie, said Kumuyi’s marriage to Esther sparked animated joy among members of the church.
The statement reads: “Pastor Kumuyi had lost his wife, Biodun in April last year(2009). The death of the woman affectionately called Mummy or Mama by members of the church became a cause for concern for leaders in the church as she was almost inseparable from her husband.
“The church leaders were so concerned that the pastor must not remain lonely that they led a delegation to encourage him to begin praying to God to give him another wife.
“The leaders also began praying for their pastor to get another partner.
“Although initially reluctant, Pastor Kumuyi later prayed and testified to the leaders that God had answered their prayers.
“This is what culminated in the marriage ceremony in London.”
The statement revealed that the new wife was the national and international woman coordinator of the church. And wait for this: she was never married even though she was already in her 60s, because, according to Nnadozie, she committed her life to the Lord.
Nnadozie dispelled insinuations that some key members of the church were not carried along, saying: “Those who deserved to know were duly informed. If he wanted a high profile wedding, he could have done that, but he himself voted for a low key ceremony and we are happy about that.”
Giving reasons why he decided to remarry at 75, Prophet Abiara had said that he consulted widely before taking another wife and got God’s directive.
He said: “My children, who are now grown-ups, held a meeting and concluded that I should get a new wife who would attend to my everyday needs at old age.
“After due consideration and having satisfied my conscience that my children’s suggestion was in conformity with the scriptures, I made up my mind to marry a new wife.
“The Bible established it that when a man loses his wife, he has the right to remarry. I am acting based on the directive of God and the advice of my children.”
In a separate interview with The Nation, Abiara expressed joy that he found love again.
He said: ‘’I feel so good. You can see me. The woman takes good care of me. She is a woman God gave me. She is a good woman. She takes care of me. She has respect for me. She has respect for all my children.
‘’All my children love her so much and they take care of her. I enjoy her company. She is like my former wife. I thank God Almighty for giving me a woman like her.’’
Before he passed on one year after his new marriage in 2018, Senator Nunieh, said he decided to take another wife because he needed a companion to overcome loneliness.
He explained that his children were all adults, who lived in different places because of their jobs.
He said: “I cannot continue to stay alone. I love her and she loves me. We understand each other and she is also intelligent.
“In marriage, there are advantages somewhere and disadvantages in other areas.
“There is no age limitation in marriage. Some may say you are old; you may soon die. But some were dead even before they were born. Some were one year or two years old and they died. Death is not always dependent upon a man’s age.”
He described his new wife, Rosemary, as a charming and intelligent woman, saying: ‘’You know that rose is the best of all flowers and we have two Marys in the Bible: we have Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
“She too (wife) is a believer of the Bible…She is not an infant. She is a very charming woman.”
Experts explain why single older men remarry
Experts, including psychologists and relationship coaches, linked older men’s desire to remarry to both emotional and socio-cultural factors.
A psychologist, Ms Adaora Akinyele, said that older men suffer a lot of needs and lack which require a woman to be fulfilled in their lives.
She explained that the coping mechanism in single older men is usually weak, hence, the need to take another woman as wife to overcome the challenges.
Akinyele said: ‘’Single men, especially those whose suffered spousal loss or lost their wives to death at advanced age from 65 and above would battle emotional and psychological stress arising from lack of care, lonely life or boredom, absence of sexual satisfaction which might eventually lead to depression.
‘’The need to overcome these challenges usually leads older men to consider marriage again so they can enjoy the best of care and boost their social and sexual life.
“In this part of the world, single older men are usually abandoned by their children who mostly live apart or in far flung locations because of marriage and occupational commitment, and this is the major cause of boredom and loneliness in aged single men.
“At times, maids hired by the children to take care of their aged fathers who are single don’t live up to expectations, hence, the aged men prefer to have a woman or life partner to ensure they are well taken care of.”
A relationship expert, Mr Jefrrey Nwosu, explained that older men are generally not sexually inactive despite their advanced age, noting that the sexual virility of men regardless of their age and the desire to satisfy their sexual desire is one of the reasons single older men remarry.
‘’It will be erroneous to think that older me lack sexual drive. Men are generally sexually active till death comes and older men are sexually strong and desire sexual satisfaction from women.
“This is the reason why an older man would need the company of a woman for sexual satisfaction among other care that the woman can provide him.’’
‘’However, the burden of carrying out routine personal administration side by side with chores may be too tasking and beyond what the stamina of an aged man can withstand. That is also a very strong reason to consider marriage.
‘’Also, loneliness in an older man who has lost his wife could lead to depression. The psychological trauma of the absence of a wife of many years who has passed on and the best moments the couple enjoyed for many years are usually a reason for older men to make a move at marrying again.
“Many older men have died from depression as a result of unrelieved grief over the loss of their beloved wives. And while it is true that maids can be hired to do most of the chores at home, older men need a female partner to talk to, share good moments with and fraternise with everyday in order to get over the loss of their former spouse and be happy.
“In this regard, children of older men who have lost their wives should encourage their fathers to consider marriage to a woman who may bear children, or a life partner, and live happily till their suns set.’’
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