The Nation Newspaper

Category: Weekend Treat

  • 10 reasons women break up with men

    10 reasons women break up with men

    If you have often wondered why your girl broke up with you, maybe you need to retrospect upon the kind of relationship you shared with her. Take a look at some reasons, which are a complete turn off for women, leading to subsequent breakups.

    A successful relationship is plausible only with mutual acceptance of each other, in a complete manner.

    But if you make the following mistakes, chances are you’re still going to wind up single sooner or later.

    1. You don’t know how to treat or make a woman happy.

    2. You only Text. Texting is perfectly acceptable when you want to flirt or ask a quick question. But for conversations that take more than 30 characters, pick up the phone and call your girlfriend.

    3. You Never say “I’m Sorry”. Everyone likes to save face. But having too much pride to never apologize can be a really big problem.

    4. You are not romantic and you don’t know how to use words such as; sweetie, Angel, Sexy, My world, Treasure, My Queen etc. Women love to hear their praises.

    5. Some guys lie a lot believing that ladies fall in love when you tell them lies. It’s wrong because when she finds out the real you, she can quit the relationship.

    6. You don’t know her friends. Boxing out your partner’s friends is a relationship deal breaker. You don’t have to love her girlfriends, but you need to respect the bond she has with them.

    Read Also: ‘I mistakenly cheated on my wife with her kid sister’

    7. You don’t ask questions. Your silence says a lot. By not asking follow-up questions to her stories, you’re expressing that you’re not interested in her life,

    8. You have No Future Ambition (NFA). No woman wants a man that has no prospect.

    9. You’re never on time. You got stuck in traffic. You spilled a coffee as you walked out the door. You lost track of time. Whatever the excuse is, your girlfriend is sick of you consistently showing up 5 or 10 minutes late.

    10. You can’t stop gushing about your ex. A man who keeps talking about his ex-girlfriend all the time is heading towards a breakup, even before he realizes what’s hit him.

     

     

    Why did you break up with your Ex?

  • Does being submissive make you a doormat?

    CALL me “welcome”. I’m a doormat! But being submissive is not being a whining “martyr”. The woman, who “works her fingers to the bone” and constantly reminds her family of the sacrifice, is really self-centred and expects to be honoured for everything she does. Submission is not being opinionless.

    Most husbands welcome the thoughts and opinions of their wives whether they relate to problems at the office or which bicycle to get junior for his birthday. Wives who are oriented to seeking God’s will can bring another dimension to the logic of their husband- the helpfulness of simply looking at things from a woman’s point of view. God has given women a different nature to round out and complement that of their husbands.

    The husband who loves his wife will welcome her suggestions and not feel threatened by them. Submission is not refusing to accept responsibility or make decisions when necessary. The woman has a responsibility –a part to play –that is entirely her own. In matters when a decision must be made, even though she disagrees and she says so, she must let her husband make the final decision. However, in a case where the husband is absent, the wife then has the authority to make the decision.

    She can seek the counsel of others; but she should not be afraid to do what she feels is best in her judgement. Submission is not fear of taking a job that might be your husband’s if he were present. Being useful as well as ‘ornamental’ is more than just a cute saying.

    A wife who greets her husband at the door with the sink’s leaking and Junior skinned his knee and is screaming his head off’ may have time to ponder why her husband was irritated at dinner and gave her those questioning looks. She could have called a plumber, comforted Junior and bandaged his knee and cleaned up the backyard.

    The wife who can’t cope with her end of running the home should ask for divine help to avoid being a ‘clinging vine’ to her husband and family. When you clear a drawer, you don’t just rearrange the mess inside. You dump out the contents, throw away the things that are no longer usable. In this area of submission, we need to remove what is not good in our lives and keep only those that will build and strengthen our marriage. You may think you’ve always been submissive. You are a naturally obedient wife, and you have a strong husband who has taken the lead, so, you say “what’s this gotta do with me?” Submission is more than mechanical obedience. It is a positive inner attitude. You can do anything your husband asks of you, but if it is not done with a willing and loving heart, it is not a true submission.

    Becky was one of those wives who did what her husband asked her to do but with wrong attitude. Her facial expression reflected that she wasn’t really submissive, and she doesn’t ever realize it. She later confessed to her husband that she wasn’t submissive, even though she’d been outwardly obedient, and asked for his forgiveness. He said he knew it all these while.(this was a real shock to her). The husband said that he could tell by the expression on her face that she didn’t like doing whatever he ordered. So, if you think you are fooling your husband by ‘outward’ submission, there is a very good chance you are not!

    Do you really know that man you married – the father of your children? Remember this important fact: You have about the same number of years along with your husband after your children are grown as you have together while they are being raised. A normal life span will give you about 25 years of raising children to college age and about 25 years together without family. Unfortunately, many couples don’t build a marriage but simply make a home in which to raise their family. That is why so many marriages break up after 20-25years. The husband and wife can’t face the prospect of living out their years with a stranger whom they have never taken the trouble to get to know. A wife always set the mood or atmosphere of the home, and if you will follow the principles and concepts we are giving from above, your home will be a heaven on earth. Remember: marriage doesn’t fail, people do.

    • With materials from The fulfilled woman.

  • Girls, don’t let the world damage you!

    Dear Ma, You’re really doing a great job! You’re saving the lives of thousands of girls out there! My prayer is that God should see you through at the point of your need. Your final word- “Chastity does not belong to the past. It saves you a lot of trouble, preserves your beautiful destiny and stands you out from the crowd…” is always ringing in my head! May God continue to empower you. You are wonderful!
    Luiz Beryl

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,
    Early last year, I dreamt someone was telling me God would speak His word to people through me and that I’d be the solution to my family problem. But to be sincere, I never followed that direction, in fact I lost touch with God through my immoral acts and now not only are my academics suffering while I’m in my final year, I’m facing serious financial hardship which has been my family’s major problem and there’s no one to help! Unfortunately, I may end up having an extra session and only God knows how I’d cope. I’m falling into depression. I need your mentoring please!
    Miss E.

    Dearest Miss E.
    I’m so sorry you missed the way and have to go through this hardship. However, when I looked through our thread of discussion, I discovered I had counseled you about boyfriend issues since 2017. I really wish you heeded my counsel perhaps you wouldn’t be dealing with this now! I consider it a huge privilege and an opportunity of a life time for you to have had that revelation and I imagine you and your family would have been on your way out of generational battles which is what’s causing you great discomfort. However, I thank God you are still in school and not in the family way because things would have gotten worse! It’s a simple matter my dear as God is ever ready to carry you in His arms and see you through! First, you have to forget your setbacks and worries as I don’t need to tell you to drop any boyfriend you may have and shut the world away! When I mean shut the world away, you have to live and act as though the only reason you are on earth is to please God! I keep telling you girls that what A’s destiny can endure could be what would kill yours! Perhaps you’ve been surrounded by friends who have boyfriends they engage in sex with and you ended up seeing no reason you shouldn’t have one. Perhaps, you’ve been spending too much time and taking solace in the social media to the detriment of your studies and coasting in worldly dictates, perhaps you’ve been worshipping at churches which do not hammer on the word of God, holiness and the narrow way- worldly churches if I may call them that and so many other reasons! All of the above fetches TROUBLE! I’m really sorry but like I earlier wrote, you are on your way to the right track!

    From now, every spare time you have outside your studying should be spent with God! Be determined to live a life of holiness. Fall in love with your bible, find a place of worship which practices the “old-time” religion, organize a prayer and fast timetable. Believe me in less than a month, you’d be amazed at what God would start revealing to you! The stupid, bad devil would always put up a fight when it sees its captives about to be delivered and your spiritual dullness/sinful ways sold you out easily and scuttled what God assigned you on your family’s behalf! Before the end of this year, you’d be perplexed at the uncommon glory ahead of you as you move in the spirit. I assure you once you cancel depression and surrender whole-heartedly to God, He’ll sort you out financially- just get the devil off your soul and see! May this counsel pierce your soul and may the spirit of God overshadow your life in Jesus mighty name!

    Girls…girls…girls…
    Do you even have the faintest idea why you are in this world? Are you manifesting God’s plans for your life or the devil’s? Sadly, many of you think you are enjoying life living in sin not knowing you are enjoying crumbs from the devil’s disgusting mouth! May you receive heavenly sense in Jesus name! To start with, if you missed my last three articles, please Google search, Girls, develop yourselves into FORTRESSES not MISTRESSES!This is a very serious matter and the articles would help condition your mind better for the future ahead of you!
    To be continued.

    I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowo Temilolu.

  • Nurturing your relationship (1)

    Dear reader, I welcome you to this wonderful month. It is my prayer that all that the month holds will be delivered to you speedily. In this teaching series for the month, I shall be exploring the topic: Nurturing Your Relationship.

    God instituted marriage so that man can enjoy the power of relationship. God saw that the first man – Adam, was in need of companionship. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18). God wanted it to be for man “as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). So, He gave man the gift of relationship. This means that God believes in relationships and they are important to Him.

    Relationship means “to connect with someone else or to be in touch with someone.” But it is important for you to understand that although God initiated the idea of relationships, it is our duty to develop and sustain it. We sustain our relationship by nurturing it with all the right nutrients necessary for it to grow.

    To nurture means to care for, to look after and to take care of somebody or something. You nurture your relationship with your spouse, just as you nurture your baby to adulthood. You should learn to feed and care for your relationship, if it must be a success. Food here does not mean what we eat physically, but there are physical, spiritually and emotional nutrients you must give your marital relationship so that it can grow and be well-nourished.

    How to nurture and grow your relationship

    I will be sharing with you on certain factors that can help you nurture and grow your relationship with your husband, wife and family members.

    Commitment

    Any man or woman who is genuinely committed to God is bound to be committed to the success of his/her home, because he/she will endeavour to obey God. Someone once said that what the spinal cord is to the body is what relationship is to your marriage.

    The level of your commitment to your relationship with your husband, wife or family members will ultimately determine how heavenly your home will be. For you to be committed to your husband, wife and family members, first and foremost, you must be committed to God if commitment to your spouse will yield a positive result.For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God(Hebrews 3:4).

    That means all your efforts to build a heavenly home will amount to nothing without the help of God.

    The Bible says, I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing (John 15:5).

    Let me say this to singles, before you marry any man or woman; ensure that he is genuinely committed to God, because if he or she is not, it will affect the success of the home.

    I remember my husband (then my fiancé) writing a paper titled “Sailing Under Sealed Orders.” One thing that struck me most in that vow of commitment to God was the phrase, “Christ is either Lord of all or not Lord at all…” I rejoiced when I read and even had to sign that I will allow him to serve God completely and unreservedly. That is why I am not surprised at his commitment to our home, because his commitment to God is unquestionable.

    However, commitment to God must find expression in your commitment to your spouse and family members. Commitment to God and to your spouse is like a bicycle. Each wheel represents these two levels of commitments.

    Commitment is what drives a man to love his wife despite how he feels or what she has done or failed to do; and it is also a driving force in a woman that is submissive to her husband. Any man you see who finds it difficult to love his wife or makes excuses for not loving her is not committed to making that marriage work.

    If you are a stubborn and naughty wife who refuses to submit to her husband, your problem is simply lack of commitment! If you are committed to the success of your marriage, you will not need anyone to advise you, you will willingly and excitedly submit to your husband, and your husband will express his love for you.

    A lady once wrote me and said, “I started reading your article in one of the daily newspapers after I got born-again in November 1998. I gained a lot from most of what you discussed in the articles. I am married with four children and used to do many things that were not right to my husband. But as soon as I read your articles, I made a change. Whenever I want to fight my husband, I remember your article on how to be patient with our husbands, and I stop. You have taught me a lot about marriage, so I don’t miss that newspaper.” It is time to get committed if you desire a heavenly home.

    You need Jesus Christ to be committed and maintain commitment in marriage. If, peradventure, you are not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)

  • Is it possible to have platonic relationship with an ex?

    Yinka and Tunde have been married for more than three years. They have a two-year-old lovely baby to show for the marriage. Married life has been a dream comes true for the young couple. They loved each other to a fault. With the way they felt about each other, nothing could possible go wrong, so they thought. Three years into the marriage, Yinka ran into her old flame, Kingsley. A guy she had dated for over seven years of her life. In fact, Kingsley was her first love. Nothing prepared them for what the future was about to unfold. Kingsley started by inviting Yinka out on an innocent lunch date. Yinka, on her part, felt the lunch would be perfectly harmless.

    Perhaps, she thought, it was an opportunity to catch up on old times. After all, her ring was conspicuously placed on her fourth finger for all to see. Just as she had earlier thought, the lunch went well as planned. They talked on so many issues, old friends and schools they had attended after they parted ways. In the course their discussion, she discovered that Kingsley was still single. After a brief hug, they both exchanged their GSM numbers and bade each other well.

    Fortunately or unfortunately for both of them, the chemistry that existed between them in the past was still there. They continued to see each other, then one thing led to the other and before she could say, ‘ I am married’ they had resumed their once cherished romantic affair.

    Read Also: Nurturing your relationship (1)

    Yinka was ridden with guilt. When she got home that night, she scrubbed and scrubbed her body in the bath as if she could erase the memory of the hot passionate….. that had transpired between Kingsley and her. She prayed, fasted and even stopped answering Kingsley’s phone calls. She hated herself for her lack of self-control. She thought to herself that she should not have accepted Kingsley’s invitation to lunch in the first place.

    Now she would live with the guilt fort hr rest of her days. Yinka shared this secret with me as a ‘relationship expert’ (as she addressed me) expecting a wise counsel from me. But I decided to make it public that others out there who find themselves in a similar condition may benefit from the wisdom of our readers who will offer guilt-lifting solution.

    The question is: is it possible to have a platonic relationship with a ex-lover.

    Mr. Taiwo O: My sister anything is possible with ex-lover. If she is someone I had loved in the past and maybe we did not break up on a sour note. It is very possible to rekindle the romance. It can only take the grace of God for me to resist her. It is better we do not have the opportunity to tempt ourselves.

    Mr. Victor Udh: Yes, it is very possible considering the following reasons:

    • If one can’t let go of the old feelings they previously had for each other.
    • If one has failed to experience or have fulfilment in other relationship
    • Disappointment from present lover could drive one into going to have love refuge from an ex-lover
    • Love is a strong feeling and if the ex-lover was really loved, the spirit cannot be easily killed.
    • If the people involved are very good at keeping secrets, they could continue as secret lovers depending on their marital status.
    • On the issue of sex, if the couple involved find themselves sexually compatible, they will want to come back for their satisfaction: especially if they are not fulfilled elsewhere.
    • Character wise, if the ex-lover has peculiar character that cannot be found in anyone else, they are likely to want to be closer to themselves.
    • Monetarily, if the ex-lover has been picking the bills no one else can pick it could be a factor to reuniting them.

    Mr. Matthew Kwentue: It is very possible to have a platonic relationship with an ex-lover although not in all cases. It really depends on the particular girl. For instance, I once dated a girl, we broke up due to the long distance that came in between us and coupled with the fact that we were quite young then.

    We met again several years later and we tried to work things out but the attempt met a brick wall. Since then, we have been nothing but platonic friends.  I believe it is possible for me to make friends with my ex-lover because I might have moved on to building another one. In conclusion, I think it is ideal to keep a safe distance in order to avoid temptation.

    Mrs. Buhari Juliet: Platonic relationship is very possible with an ex-love. In a case where one of the ex-couple is married, it becomes difficult to rekindle the old flame. On the other hand, if neither of the couple is engaged, they could pick up where they left off. In fact, they could become much closer that it could lead to a lifetime union, i.e. marriage. But when one or both of the ex-couple is married or engaged, they could maintain a platonic relationship. For instance, they could be each other’s confidant. However, it is imperative that one limits the environment or atmosphere that could remind them of old times. This is in order to avoid temptations. To maintain one’s integrity, one could even get introduced to the other’s spouse.

  • 10 signs you may be in a toxic relationship

    In a time such as ours that oozes with the entitlement mentality, toxic relationships thrive. People are in relationships for the wrong reasons; people live in a country of me, me and me and enter into romantic relationships with same mentality. They end up dragging their partners in a downward spiral of hurt, pain and brokenness.

    The sad part however is that many do not even know they are in a toxic relationship. Here are ways to know you are in a toxic relationship:
    * You are always drained: Usually, a toxic relationship always leaves you drained of all energy. This could come from giving your all, constantly compromising, incessant quarrels and misunderstanding. In fact, you could find that you are the only one loving and trying to make the relationship work- there is simply little or no effort from your partner.

    *You always expect negative things: If you are in a relationship where you have gotten so used to criticism and verbal abuse that it has become normal for you, you should know you are in a toxic relationship.

    * You tread carefully: Relationships are meant to be a loving and blissful. Sure, there will be misunderstandings but when every single thing you do is seen as wrong such that you are careful of every word that comes out of your mouth, then you, my dear, are not in a relationship but a prison. In such case questions and statements become traps. Eg. “So you prefer to go out with your friends and leave me alone? ,“You have been smiling a lot at your phone today”.

    * You feel trapped: When you feel trapped but your partner uses manipulation to keep you in the relationship, beware. Sometimes, to keep you hooked to them, your partner will make sure to feed you a bit of positivity from time to time, overwhelming you with signs of adoration and love. In the end you stay put in the relationship with hopes that the relationship will get better even when the relationship is more of a negative one.

    *You feel unworthy: if you feel unworthy in a relationship and that your partner is doing you a favor by being in a relationship with you, that’s a bad sign. Also if you always seek constant acceptance from your partner, then that is a subtle signal of a toxic relationship.

    READ ALSO: How to deal with people with toxic behaviours

    *You are ALWAYS wrong: If you can never do anything right and are ALWAYS wrong, then there is a problem. If your partner is constantly pointing out wrong things you do making you apologize every time, then it gradually brings down your self-esteem. Such a relationship is likely toxic.

    *They never accept they are wrong: When even in the face of complete and glaring evidence that your partner is in the wrong yet they refuse to admit it but find a way to make you the culprit, then that relationship is highly toxic.

    *They hit you where it hurts: Having knowledge of your fears, insecurities and deep issues, a toxic partner may use this information to hurt you. Normally, your partner is to make you feel safe with your issues and make you never regret telling them. However, when you hear things like “that’s why your father abandoned you” or “you can never be a lawyer” then you should hit the road.

    *They are controlling: If your partner has no consideration for your feelings and emotions but always wants to have his or her desire done no matter the costs, it is a glaring sign of a toxic relationship. They constantly check your phone, want to know everything you do and even up to what you are thinking. This is very unhealthy and not a sign of love. RUN.

    *They are violent: This is definitely a NO,NO! When it gets to the point where your partner physically abuses you then you should call it quits. No relationship is worth being abused physically or even verbally abused.

  • Ten ways to get a lady say yes to your proposal

    It is one thing to find that person you love and it is another thing to make that person say YES to your marriage proposal.

    It is the dream of every woman to hear this question from her man, will you marry me? Love is a strong word, feelings that brings two persons together to become one.

    Finding the perfect marriage proposal idea might be hard for some lovers especially when making plans to spent the rest of your life with the person you love.

    Below are proposal tips that can make you end up with your dream lover:

    Read Also: Why Nigerian men delay marriage proposals

    1. Propose by hiding the ring inside of a box of her favorite snacks.

    2. Propose by telling her it is over between the two of you.

    3. Propose by hiring a skywriter to write Will You Marry Me in the sky.

    4. Propose by attaching the engagement ring to your dog’s collar and letting him bring it to her.

    5. Propose by putting her ring in the bottom of her champagne glass at a restaurant.

    6. Propose by writing the message in Christmas lights.

    7. Propose by inviting her with another lady for a date.

    8. Propose by paying her a surprise visit to her office.

    9. Propose by arranging with the police to arrest you for a crime.

    10. Propose by having your child (or younger sibling or cousin) ask the question for you.

  • 10 ways to identify fake people

    By Praise Olowe

     

    It can be really difficult to determine the difference between someone who is genuinely nice and someone who is faking.

    Have you ever got the feeling that a person you were friends with or even dating had a hidden agenda or simply couldn’t care less about your thoughts and opinions?
    Pay attention to these tell-tales to know if your relationships are worth seriously investing in:

    * They’re quick to show off

    Being proud of your hard-earned accomplishments is one thing but showing off all of the time is a clear sign of a fake person. Genuine people are humble and most of the time, uninterested in constant bragging.

    *They’re only nice if there’s something in it for them

    A surefire sign of a fake person is one who only shows kindness when it benefits them. Genuine people are nice and helpful no matter the circumstances.

    * They only respect those in positions of power

    When it comes to respect, most would agree that everyone is deserving of this sentiment. Yet, fake people have a tendency to solely respect people in power. Watch out for people who aren’t respectful of everyone around them. If not, they may be faking it.

    *They are only around when it’s convenient for them

    You might never hear from that friend on the street again until they need something from you. They might call and ask you for a favour. They hardly go the extra mile for people.

    *They pretend not to be upset about things

    Anyone who says they never get mad or angry at anything or anyone is full of it. Of course, everyone gets mad at something. Fake people are deep under covers. Their plan is to make people think they are something they are not. Come on now, everyone gets mad sometimes.

    Read Also: 10 important tips for dating in your 30s

    *They put in extreme effort to build relationships

    While genuine people don’t have to put in extreme efforts to grow their circle of friends, fake people may try hard to earn the affection of others. Friendship and other kinds of relationships come naturally to those who are truly interested

    *They seek attention

    It’s okay to crave the spotlight every now and then, however, one sign of fake people is that they constantly seek attention. In comparison, an authentic person likely knows when to let others shine.

    *They gossip

    While a quick gossip session can be tempting from time to time, it’s one activity that can help you spot fake people. Honest people are more willing to openly share their opinions while fake people may keep their comments limited to a whisper.

    *They put others down to look good

    Only those who lack real merits feel the need to criticize others to keep up appearances. Sincere individuals would rather admire and compliment others, while fakers may be quick to put others down in name of making themselves look better.

    * They make promises they can’t keep

    A genuine person will do their best to live up to promises and commitments but a fake person may talk the talk without walking the walk. Fake people easily make commitments but rarely follow through on them.

  • How to protect kids from kidnappers (1)

    ALL parents want to keep their children safe. In the wake of the death of a seven-year-old girl who vanished on her mile-long walk home from school, many mums and dads are feeling more anxious than ever about how to protect their kids.

    Clint Van Zandt, a former FBI profiler and hostage negotiator, has prepared these tips to help parents train their children to avoid dangerous situations and escape a kidnapper. Van Zandt also makes a free DVD, “Protecting Children from Predators,”

    10 safety tips every child should know

    1. Do not get into any car unless your parents personally tell you to do so. Also, stay away from anyone who follows you on foot or in a car. You do not need and should not go near a car to talk to the people inside.
    2. Adults and other people who need help should not be asking a child for help; they should be asking other adults. Adults should not be asking you for directions or to look for a “lost puppy,” or telling you that your mother or father is in trouble and that they will take you to them.
    3. Quickly get away from anyone who tries to take you somewhere. Yell or scream, “This person is not my father (or mother).”
    4. You should use the “buddy system” and never go places alone. Always ask your parents’ permission to leave the yard/play area or to go over to someone’s home, and especially always ask permission before you go into someone’s home.
    5. Never, never hitchhike! Do not try to get a ride with people unless your parents have told you it’s OK to do so.
    6. People should not ask you to keep a special secret. If they do, tell your parents or teacher. Also, tell anyone who wants to take your picture, “No,” and quickly tell your parents or teacher.
    7. No one should touch you on the parts of the body covered by your bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those areas. Your body is special and private.
    8. You can be assertive and you have the right to say “No” to someone, including adults and even relatives or friends who try to take you somewhere against your will, touch you or make you feel uncomfortable in ANY WAY.
    9. NOTE: Many parents use a special code word that only the child knows to convey a message should someone other than a parent ask a child to accompany them anywhere.
    10. THE YELL: Practise a “special” yell. It is low, loud and long. It tells the person trying to hurt the child, “I know what to do! I’m not an easy victim!” It tells everyone within the sound of the child’s voice, “I need help!” It gets the child going, it breaks the “spell.” A child should not panic and freeze, thereby becoming immobile in an emergency. When you yell you take a deep breath, thereby getting oxygen and energy to your brain and muscles. Your own yell can give you courage and get your feet moving when you need to run away.

    School bus stop safety issues

    1. Parents should ensure that if possible, an adult waits with children at school bus stops (not always possible with one-parent families or where both parents work), but something could be worked out with all parents of children at the bus stop to be there on a rotating basis.
    2. Know the path your child takes to and from home to the school bus stop.
    3. Tell your children to avoid short cuts through woods, alleys, parks, or other areas where they could be alone.
    4. Identify safe houses along the way that your child could run to or into for help if needed.
    5. Insure your child does not have his or her name on a backpack, etc., as this would enable a potential abductor to call out to the child by name.
    • Continued next week
    • Source: https://www.today.com

  • Six ways to win over your crush

    Increased heartbeat, sweaty palms, short breaths, skipping heartbeat and butterflies in the tummy. Sound familiar? These are probably what you feel when you see your crush coming and the feelings won’t just go away!

    So what are you going to do about it? Continue to struggle with the butterflies?

    I have an idea. How about you just win your crush over?

    Scared? Skeptical? Take a deep breath and try these tips to win your crush over:

    *Make a move: When I say make a move I mean put yourself out there. Come out from within the shadows and make yourself visible to your crush. Chances are that if you keep lurking in the shadows watching your crush’s every move that is where you will remain.  Talk to your crush, invite her to an event, say hi to him from time to time. That way, you don’t remain invincible to your crush but catch your crush’s attention.

    *Be attentive: Just because you have finally gotten your crush’s attention doesn’t mean you should become insensitive at the expense of your crush. Listen to what he or she says. Make mental notes and act accordingly. For example, if your crush mentions that he likes dark chocolate, it would create an impression if you get him dark chocolate the next time you see him. If your crush says she forgets to lock her windows on her way out, it would be very thoughtful to remind her to.

    *Maintain eye contact: So I know between the restless butterflies in your stomach and the skipping heartbeat, you are probably too shy to look at your crush. I tell you however, DO NOT look down or away when talking to your crush.

    Maintain an eye contact with them to show your level of interest and confidence. Nobody wants to feel like a bother. Looking down would most likely give your crush the impression that you would rather be elsewhere.

    *Do not be possessive: Being in contact with your crush does not give you the right to become possessive of him or her. Give your crush his/her space. Please do not overwhelm your crush with calls and texts in the name of being caring especially if your crush is not a fan of it.

    Also, do not go about questioning why your crush was talking with another boy or girl as the case may be.  It’s really disgusting. It shows high levels of insecurity and immaturity.

    *Be natural: I know the tendency to over impress your crush exists but you must not take it over board so as not to come off as a fake person. The more you want to impress, the more likely you are to exaggerate things you have done and things you can do.

    This can make you come off as proud and be a hindrance to winning your crush over. Whatever you do, be natural; never fake it.

    *Be bold about your feelings: For heaven’s sake do not wallow in silence; confess your feelings! Let your crush know what you feel if not, even though you might make an impression to your crush, he/she might think you are not serious about him/her.

    Then all the moves you have made will  likely be in vain when John the bolder guy, confesses his feelings to her.

    Warm regards,

    Kehinde Oluwafisayo Matthew