Tag: Relationship

  • I have no relationship with Metuh, says judge

    I have no relationship with Metuh, says judge

    The judge handling the trial of the spokesman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Olisa Metuh has said he had neither social nor work relationship with the politician.

    Justice Okon Abang of the Federal High Court, Abuja said he did not know Metuh during his (the judge) practice as a lawyer and while in school.

    The judge’s position  is contained in his response to a petition written against him by Metuh to the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court, Justice Ibrahim Auta. Justice Abang’s response is dated March 23.

    Metuh had, in the petition written against by one of lawyers, Emeka Etiaba (SAN), claimed among others, that the judge was his classmate at the Law School in 1988 and that he last met the judge late last year at the Meridien Hotel, Akwa Ibom.

    Metuh, who said he was worried he could not get justice before the judge, accused him (Justice Abang) of bias and of deliberately refusing to release records of proceedings to enable him appeal the judge’s earlier decisions.

    The PDP spokesman, whose move is seen as attempt to scuttle his trial, is praying Justice Auta to transfer the case to another judge to commence afresh.

    Metuh and his company, Destra Investment Limited were arraigned before Justice Abang in January on a seven-count charge, in which they were accused of retaining proceeds of unlawful act and engaging in money laundering.

    The prosecution closed its in February after calling eight witness. But, rather than open their defence, Metuh and his firm made a no-case submission.

    In  a ruling on March 9 Justice Abnag rejected the no-case submission, on the ground that the prosecution has established a case against Metuh and his company, requiring them being called upon to enter defence.

    Rather the open his defence,Metuh, on March 11 petitioned the court’s Chief Judge, raising sundry accusations against Justice Abang and requested the transfer of the case against him to another judge.

    Lead prosecution lawyer, Sylvanus Tahir said he was not served a copy of Metuh’s petition as required.

    Justice Abang, in his response to Metuh’s petition, a copy of which The Nation sighted in Abuja, although he neither knew nor had any relationship with Metuh, it was impossible for the relationship Metuh claimed existed between them to affect the facts and laws in relation to his (Metuh’s) trial.

    “With respect to the first issue that the petitioner Emeka Etiaba (SAN) stated that the 1st defendant in Charge FHC/ABJ/CR/05/2016 was my classmate in the Nigerian Law School,my Lord, for the records, I was at the Law School in 1987/88 Academic Session.

    “I am not aware that Olisa Metuh was my classmate in the Nigerian Law School.  I cannot recall seeing him in the time session in my time. In the law school, we were over 1,000 students and we had then two sessions, morning that I attended.

    “He is not from my place, Oron, in Akwa Ibom State. I did not see him as a student  in University of Calabar that I attended between  September 1983 till June 1987.

    “I have never met him in practice anywhere  in the country before I was elevated to the bench in June 2009. Again, he claimed he met me in Le’ Mariden Uyo late last year.

    “I was not  in  Le’ Meriden Uyo late last year .  I had no function that I attended in Le’ Meriden Uyo late last year. I did not meet him in Le’ Meriden Uyo late last year.

    “If the records show  that he is a lawyer and was called to Nigerian Bar on November 3, 1988, which record I am yet to see, that cannot affect the facts and the law.

    “I attended recently my class reunion meeting in Abuja, Lagos and Enugu, I did not see Olisa Metuh in the places I mentioned.  I am not related to Olisa Metuh in any way, I do not know where he comes from,” Justice Abang said.

    On Metuh’s allegation that majority of the judge’s rulings was in favour of the prosecution, Justice Abang noted that as a lawyer, Etiaba knew what option exists for a party, who is not comfortable with a court’s decision.

    “As regard the issue that I made interlocutory decisions in favour of the prosecution in the matter, my response here is simple. And that is, that  I am entitled to give decisions in matters placed before me for adjudication having heard parties.

    “That is why there are appellate courts. If he is dissatisfied with those decisions, I think Emeka Etiaba (SAN) ought to know  what to do.

    “As regard the alleged non-release of the record of proceedings,  I think Emeka Etiaba (SAN) is not fair to me at all. I will leave him to his conscience. He has an improper motive in this regard.

    “For the records, my lord, the defendant applied for the Certified True Copy of proceedings at the time proceedings were going on from day to day. I approved same and directed my secretary to type the proceedings.

    “The proceedings were bulky in nature because I heard the case from day to day. When the secretary concluded typing the proceedings, I abandoned all other matters before me and concentrated  on checking  the typed proceedings  to be in line with what were in the court’s records.

    “When I proof-read the proceedings and was satisfied that it represents  what transpired in the open court, I endorsed same for certification and released the proceedings to them on March 15, 2016,” Justice Abang said.

    When parties were last in court on March 24, Justice Abang noted that Metuh, in addition to his petition, has applied to the judge to disqualify himself from further trying the case, raining similar issues as contained in the petition.

    The PDP spokesman has also applied to the court for an indefinite stay of proceedings pending the determination of his appeal.

    On March 24, Justice Abang adjourned to April 8 for hearing of the both applications by Metuh.

    The judge said the outcome of his rulings on the applications would determine the future of the case.

    ?” If the application for stay of proceedings fails, the defendant will  be at liberty to open is defence for the last time,” the judge said.

  • I’M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP –NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS BEVERLY NAYA

    I’M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP –NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS BEVERLY NAYA

    Within five years of making her debut in Nollywood, British/Nigerian actress, Beverly Naya, has received high acclaim for her work on stage, television and in film. And in this interview with JOE AGBRO JR, Beverly who is a brand ambassador for Dark and Lovely talks about acting, her love life and founding Fifty Shades of Black, a campaign to empower black women and girls.

    IN one of your recent movies, Surulere, you played the part of Omosigho who falls in love with Seun Ajayi somewhat suddenly. Do you believe in love at first sight?

    No. I don’t necessarily believe in love at first sight… But then I do believe that you can meet someone that you genuinely connect with, someone you could see yourself with in the future.

    But then I wouldn’t call that love at first sight because you still need to get to know that person. And when you get to know that person, that person may not be the person that you thought you liked in the beginning. So for that reason, I don’t necessarily believe in love at first sight.

    Are you currently in a relationship?

    No, I’m not in a relationship at the moment. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I know that the right guy will come into my life when it is time. But at the moment, I’m just enjoying the process of going on dates and meeting new people and hopefully, I’d meet the one soon. Let’s see what happens.

    Some news reports have linked you romantically with Uti Nwachukwu but you denied. Do such stories affect your romantic life?

    Oh no, not at all. First and foremost, Uti is my good friend and there was no truth to that rumour. So, it never affected my love life in any way because I don’t think people actually believed that I dated Uti. So, rumours like that have never affected my love life.

    In western countries, same-sex relationships are becoming accepted in everyday life but in Nigeria

    and many parts of Africa, it is illegal. What is your own position regarding same-sex relationship?

    Well, I don’t really condone same-sex marriage. Obviously, whatever your preference is, it’s up to you. But same-sex people getting married in the church is not really how it’s supposed to be in my opinion. Being a Christian and everything, I feel like marriage is a sacred thing and it was originally planned so that a man and a woman can go to church and be married in unity. So, I just feel like I don’t really agree with same-sex marriage but at the end of the day, who am I to judge? I’m not really in a position to judge anyone.

    Do you have a crush in the movie industry?

    Actually, I don’t. We do have a host of very good looking actors but I like to keep it as professional as possible because I don’t really look at them in that light. But yes, we have a few very handsome actors in the industry.

    Aside acting, what other things do you do?

    Right now, I’m acting full-time but I’m going into production. But I want to start with a documentary. So, I’m producing a documentary called ‘Fifty Shades of Black.’ It’s basically about empowering young girls to love themselves.

    Now, what I mean is that there’s obviously something that I’ve noticed in our society where I feel like people aren’t sure about how they feel about themselves. You know, some women aren’t proud to be dark-skinned and look how they look. Via the documentary, I hope to empower and inspire women to love their complexion and love themselves just the way they are because all black is beautiful, whether you’re light-skinned, dark-skinned or brown-skinned.

    I hope to highlight the issues concerning colourism because I think colourism is an issue that’s starting to plague Africa, especially Nigeria. And this is where young people believe that one complexion is more desirable and more beautiful than the other, which isn’t necessarily true. So, I intend to do that in the documentary. And yeah, that is really what I’m working on at the moment.

    What is your impression of Nollywood?

    I think Nollywood has grown a lot within the last five years. I think it’s getting better and better by the day, the quality of our films are getting better. Everything is just getting better and I’m truly impressed with where we are today because we’ve improved the industry drastically quickly in such a short spate of time. And I’m really really excited to see where we would be in another five years’ time.

    A lot of actors delve into movie production. Are you interested in going that direction?

    Yes, as I said earlier, I am definitely interested in going into production. One of the main reasons why I want to start with the documentary is I kind of just want to get my feet wet and see how it goes. And then get an idea of that and come and build my knowledge before I plunge right into filmmaking. So, that’s the reason why I’m starting with the documentary. But in the very near future, I intend to produce my own film, maybe a short film or feature film. Let’s just see where God takes me.

    What is one thing fans don’t know about you?

    Hmm… Let’s see. Well, there’s one thing that I don’t think I’ve said very often. I don’t grow hair on my legs so I’ve never had to shave my legs before. Thankfully, I’m not one of those females who have to worry about shaving their legs every week. I’ve never had to do it in my life. That’s one thing my fans don’t know about me.

    Who is your role model?

    I would say my mum. My mum is a very strong, courageous and amazing woman. I would say she is definitely one of my biggest role models. She’s a huge inspiration of mine and she has just achieved so much in her life. And I admire that she is very hard working, very ambitious and I really admire that about my mum.

    If I was to pick a person in entertainment, then I would say Oprah Winfrey. She’s a huge inspiration. I love everything, I love how far she’s come as a woman considering everything she’s gone through. She just keeps thriving, keeps pushing, she keeps getting better and more successful. So, she’s an inspiration for that reason.

    Your mum has played an important role in your life. Was there ever anytime she didn’t support you?

    No. my mum has always supported my career. She’s always believed in me. her only issue was the fact that once I finished with my A’ Levels, I wanted to go to university to study acting and she was totally against that because in as much as she believed in me as an actor, we all know that acting can be quite volatile. It can be demanding and at the same token, it’s a dicey business some don’t make it. So, she advised me to study something else in university so I have a back-up plan in case my acting career doesn’t take off as planned. So, yes, I decided to study filmmaking and once I graduated, I moved to Nigeria and she supported me from the very beginning. Since the first time she saw me act, she’s been my number one supporter and I really appreciate that.

  • Coping with relationship break-ups

    DEAR Harriet, I was in some relationships that didn’t work out. So I vowed never to be used and dumped again by any man. For some years, I concentrated on my career, so that I could be somebody in life. To the glory of God, I am doing what I love to do and life is good. A few months ago, I met this guy at my best friend’s wedding and we have been talking on the phone. He is my kind of person in a way, but my fear is that I will not be able to give in to his sexual demands because of my experience. I want to keep myself for marriage. I need your counsel on what to do. Thanks.

    Tessy A., Lagos.

     

    Thanks a lot for sharing your story. Every experience in life is a lesson to make us better. I must commend you for taking the necessary steps to improve yourself in respect of the happenings around you.  It takes a brave heart to do so, well done.

    First, you have to know that your past relationships had come and gone. This one is different, so it will be nice if you keep an open mind to start with. Learn to see him for who he is. Expecting him to think, feel and act the same as you only sets you up for disappointment, frustration and conflict.

    To come in tune with personality differences speaks a lot in relationship, bearing in mind that we have our strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, avoid assumption so that you can have a better understanding of his expectations in the relationship.

    Easy communication is one aspect that must not be neglected. Feel free to talk with him about your values, priorities, beliefs, expectations and fears. Tell him about yourself. Let him see you for who you are and what you stand for, so there is no surprises anywhere.

    Trust me, if he really loves you and wants to have a good relationship with you that might move to another level in time to come, he will appreciate you more for being truthful to him. The reason why I put my statement in this form is simply because I don’t want you to start seeing him as your husband. You just met him and the relationship is a bit early to start thinking along the line of marriage when he has not proposed to you. Get to know each other’s likes and dislikes.

    This is a common mistake some singles make and end up with a broken heart. Don’t act as a wife until you are made one.  Interaction is very important in a relationship and it must be encouraged. Note that communication is incomplete, if the act of listening is not taken into consideration.

    Furthermore, replace your fearful thoughts. The fact is that your former relationships will flash back from time to time, but you must learn not to allow them take control of your present relationship. Always remind yourself that you are over them and that you are in control of your emotions now. Who says you cannot love again? Someone will love and cherish you for who you are, so keep an open door. Fill your thoughts with positivity.

    Next is to work on forgiving yourself; you might think you made the biggest mistake in the past and if only you didn’t allow it, you wouldn’t be having fears right now. Keep in mind that you are human. You are entitled to make mistakes. Everyone does, but you have used the lessons to improve yourself, so be blameless and appreciate yourself.

    Moreover, there is another important aspect we must not overlook that is the grieving period of your past relationships; you might be wondering what has that got to do with it, a lot I must say. Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, so it must be grief for you to be able to move on.

    First you are shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next you feel hurt and guilty, with the thoughts that may be if you have done things differently. Then, you feel angry and even start bargaining, if not controlled properly, loneliness and depression might set in but as you go through all these natural feelings, healing start to take place gradually. Eventually you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future. Finally embrace impermanence; nothing in life lasts forever.

    Every experience and relationship eventually runs its course. The best way to embrace impermanence is to translate it into action. Treat each day as life; find little things to gain instead of dwelling on the past. Relationship is an investment like a bank account- what you put is what you get. There are no hard and fast rules, certainly no guarantees, but the above tips can serve as a useful aid in starting a new relationship.

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • Four reasons you need to leave an abusive relationship

    IN the last couple of weeks I have had an ongoing battle in my head to write a piece about the scourge of violence in marital and amorous relationships in Nigeria. But I have been restrained by the thought of how it would be received, but the murder of Adebayo Oyelowo Oyediran Ajanaku; by his wife no less, helped me make up my mind. Like the late Layo, many Nigerians trapped in abusive relationships are unwilling or unable to get out or get help. Why? More often than not, the Nigerian society tacitly encourages the menace by excusing abusers and urging abused spouses or lovers to remain in the relationship to their peril. So why do I think it never pays to stay with an abuser? Read on.

    1. It is wrong. Nothing ever justifies violence against a lover or spouse, some men claim that their wives are rude, some women claim that their husband philander, and a thousand and one reasons, but guess what? The rod of correction is for the children in the house, not the mummy or daddy (as the case may be). The truth is that such people have problems controlling their tempers, and need help. Nothing will ever make beating your boy/girlfriend or spouse right. If you have a problem, sort it out, if you can’t, get out of the relationship fast, before you become a memory.
    2. It can lead to death or permanent injury. Abusive people are prone to uncontrollable rages. They are tragedies waiting to happen, oftentimes blaming their partners for provoking or inciting them to anger. Back to the woman who claimed to have stabbed her husband for having a child outside their marriage, rationally speaking as a Christian, and an African woman, it is nothing new, and does not justify murder. A sane woman would either accept the situation to save her marriage, or move on. Take your pick.
    3. It will never end. Cases abound of abusive husbands who beat their wives until the women land in hospital. And later blame such behaviour on the devil when they regain their senses. And so the women return to their abusers, hoping that the situation will change, and that the abuse will come to an end. The truth is that it never will, why? Because more often than not, abusers never change their behavior. It will only end when they break up or either party dies.
    4. It creates monsters. Human beings raise people like themselves, and that is one of the saddest things about the situation. Children born to such relationships abuse their spouses, and others end up with people who abuse them the way their parent was. I have seen men who hated their fathers for abusing their mothers; grow up to do the same thing even though they vowed never to do what their father did. The only way to break the ugly cycle is to get out, and get help. Abroad, the government provides counseling and shelters for abused women, but that is not the situation in Nigeria. Our extended family system however attempts to meet this need. Whatever it takes, if you are in an abusive relationship, break the silence; seek help, and get out, before you are carried out of that home in a coffin. Enough said.
  • Coping with pain of break-up in relationship

    DEAR Harriet, Do women feel the pain of break-ups more than men? When my ex- husband ended our eight years of marriage, friends considered me a brave and dignified person because I chose not to lose my mind and shut down on life.  Today with God’s strength, I have moved on a better person.

    Name withheld, Lagos.

     

    Over the past few months, I have received calls and messages from people whose partners or spouses walked out on them after long relationships or marriages. One break-up was after four years of dating, one was twelve months and another was nine weeks. One thing in common is that each of these relationships was still heartbroken. They were consumed by the moments of bitterness and the fear for the unknown.  All thought it is impossible to get over such shocking life change. Two were women and one was a man, but they expressed themselves in very similar ways. That was no surprise to me because my years as a counsellor have taught me that heartache has no gender.

    However, some people have the opinion that when a relationship ends, women suffer more emotional pain than men. Others have the view that because people are different in their ways, we do not experience pain, mentally or physically in the same way whether male or female. As a matter of fact, the difference between them is not down to their gender, but their personality type. Some will move on, telling themselves they must. While others will choose to harbor unhappy feelings for years which is regarded as self destructive. It really doesn’t help anyone (male or female) to cling to misery.

    In some cases, men don’t express a clear “I am over that” sentiment as clearly as women. It doesn’t mean that some men are not emotional. Trust me, they are. It’s just that their method of expression is totally different. Inevitably, we all make comparisons, for example comparing the pain of broken arm with that of a twisted ankle, but rating emotional pain is totally a different issue. In addition, some people also believe that women although are very emotional, they recover more quickly after a split. May be because women discuss their feelings, could be to a friend or family member, especially when they are going through matters of the heart. I had a business meeting with a lady for the first time, never met her before but by her initial statement, I have learnt that she is juggling a very demanding job and a home life that is nearly killing her. Who could tell that behind her sharp dressing were worries. Our discussion mostly was now on her personal issues and all I did then was to listen to her out pouring of pain and made a few remarks. When finally the meeting was over, she said I made her feel much better. I really did not do anything. From a male perspective, a man would never discuss about his feelings under such condition.  Men and women are different in dealing with heart break, if again most people recover if they find another partner, but if they don’t it takes longer as well. The truth of the matter is that individual deals with break-up in different ways in respective of the gender. The way out here is for people to understand the situation, accept it and deal with it, bearing in mind that the pain will go away with time. In every break-up, there is a lesson to learn, and in most cases, it helps some people to be better in their next relationships, although for some, they take it as a way to be mean and nasty in the relationships they find themselves, forgetting that such reactions might chase away their potential life partners. Let’s face it, everybody in one way or the other will experience disappointment could be in form of relationship or otherwise so the question: is it the end of the world? The answer is no. Life goes on. Out of my life, they say, is not out of the world.  Therefore, think less, occupy your mind with things that will make you happy. Seize the opportunity to improve yourself, go chase your dreams instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by self-pity and regrets. Always remember the person in question here has moved on. He or she is living his or her life without you in the picture. I know it is tough, especially when it has to do with marriage, but the truth is that you alone has the key to your healing and happiness.  Nobody has the right to make you feel unhappy, except you permit the person, so your happiness is in your hands.  In addition, learn to put your health into consideration because if break-up is not handled properly, it can lead to health hazard.

    A problem shared is a problem half solved!

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • IYANYA: I’VE LEARNT TO KEEP MY RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE

    IYANYA: I’VE LEARNT TO KEEP MY RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE

    Nigerian superstar, Iyanya Mbuk, might come across as a controversial artiste, but beneath all the glamour and the demands of the entertainment world lies an easy-going personality. OVWE MEDEME catches up with him at the video shoot of the tribute song, Mama Oyoyo, where he opens up about his love life, career, future plans, retirement and other issues.

    Why did you accept to be a part of this tribute song?

    First of all, I want to say big ups to the producers for choosing me to be a part of the song as one of the artistes to pass this strong message across. It is a good thing to recognise our mothers. It is a good thing to always recognise, appreciate and talk about the virtues of our mothers in a song. I’m happy being a part of this.

    How challenging was it writing your lines and being a part of it?

    I would say it was just a normal process. I was just being natural in the song because it is a mother’s song and it would be unfair to say that we have come this far without our mothers. So I just went back to nursery rhymes just to make sure that even the kids can relate to the song.

    Did the experience of losing your mother come to bear in the song?

    Yes it did. That also played a role in how I performed in the song. I have a mother’s song too and I’m going to shoot a video for it. But being part of this was the best thing that happened to me. I also would like to say thank you to my mom and all the mothers out there. As I said earlier, we would be nowhere without them.

    What are your plans for the year?

    First of all, I’m thankful to God for his grace that has kept me. It has not been easy, I won’t lie to you. From Project Fame to present day, the challenges have been there. It’s been awesome too because after every challenge, after I conquer every challenge, I move to greater heights. I’m thankful to God for sparing me. I’m thankful to my manager and to my management, Triple MG. We just keep doing our best to see that we give our fans what they deserve.

    What was that one challenge that almost made you quit music?

    To be honest with you, nothing has really given me a reason to give up because I am doing this first of all for the passion that I have. I’m doing it for my family that I lost. It is my own way of honouring them wherever they are. I’m not giving this up for anything. Instead, I would retire. I will get to a point where I would just like to chill and do something else.

    What are some of the things you would like to do?

    When I say I would retire, it is not anytime soon. I’m talking about the later part of my life. I have a lot more albums to drop. But definitely I would be going into business. I can’t reveal the nature of the businesses I would be doing but be sure that real estate would be a part of it. It is just awesome. I feel like it’s the only thing that can keep a famous person going.

    What should your fans expect from you this year?

    I would be dropping a lot of videos, collaborations and the likes.

    Any plans to get married this year? I am making plans to do all that but I don’t think I would want people to know anything about it.

    Is it that you would miss the single life?

    It is not that I would miss the single life. But the truth is that once it gets to the hands of the media, we both lose it. But it is not your fault because you are just doing your job. But then, it just takes a negative effect on the relationship. It puts us on unnecessary pressure. It gives the people who don’t even have the right to talk, an opportunity to interfere even when they don’t know the truth about what is going on. So I’ve learnt to keep my relationship private and to give the people more music. That is what they know me for first of all. I don’t let the other things cloud the music that I’m known for.

    Are you talking in the light of your past experience?

    Yes, I’m talking from experience. It just doesn’t make any sense. Once you are famous and you put your relationship out there, it is gone.

    Would you trade the fame for anything?

    Nothing! There’s nothing that I would trade my fame for.

    Presently, what is the situation of things at Triple MG?

    Triple MG is doing very well. We have Tekno, we have Selebobo and other artistes and they are all excelling. I’m doing well too. We just have plans to make sure that we can achieve excellence and drop music to impress the people that believe in us. I’m talking about our fans. We are all working hard.

    What defines your sense of style?

    I just like to be simple in my appearance.

    Are you still into the fitness game?

    I do it a lot. It is a passion. I used to just do it for the fun of it, but now it has gone beyond that. It is more than a passion. I get paid to do it. It is business too.

  • ‘No man can  force me into  a relationship’

    ‘No man can force me into a relationship’

    Gbemisola Oseni is a burgeoning name in the Yoruba movie industry starring as an actress in movies such as Seunfunmi, Abawon and Omidan Meje, aside producing her own movie, Ibale. Oseni, who is a single mother of a son and Business Administration graduate from the Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago-Iwoye, in the interview with JOE AGBRO JR, talks about her early beginning, the challenges of filmmaking and future endeavours. Excerpts

    HOW did acting start for you?

    I went into acting in 2007. I was watching a movie, Ejo Apani, so they wrote a phone number on the screen and I decided to call the number. That was how I got into acting. And I graduated in 2011. Ever since then, I’ve been on my own.

    Since that time, how many movies have you acted in?

    I’ve acted in many movies. Some of them are Seunfunmi where I played the lead role, Abawon Mi,Abawon, Omidan Meje,Tegbon Taburo, and so on. I can’t remember all. And I produced one by myself.

    It’s about nine years you’ve been an actor. Is it only Yoruba films you act in and how has the industry been for you?

    Yes, I act only Yoruba films. The film industry is not really easy like that, you know, especially when I just started. You have to work for somebody, join with crowds, no hotels, and there is no provision for you. So, when you hear there is a location here, you want to go. I’ll be there, we sleep at the bar, in the mornings, we beg for them to allow us to bath in their bathrooms before we go home. But, now I thank God that things are getting better.

     You’ve also gone into producing your own movie. Why did you decide to do that?

    The movie is Ibale (virginity) and that was in 2011. I decided to produce then because that was when I did my graduation. And I had the money then, so I decided to make use of that money since I wanted to be a movie producer. And I thank God the movie really boomed.

    What was the message you wanted to convey with the movie?

    The story was about a lady brought up in the village, then later went to the town. When she was in the village, they were looking for a lady who was still a virgin. So, when the lady went for the sacrifice, the sacrifice was not completed for her. So, later on, she was admitted to the university in Lagos and she started misbehaving. She had to go back to the village and the parents took her to the traditional doctor who told her what to do.

    A lot of people have said Nigerian movies dwell on occultism often and your movie too is like that. Do you think that is a good way to portray our culture?

    You are right. You see, everybody has his or her own style. But what really happened is then, that was what came to me, what I thought I should do and later on, the thought came that, ‘let me still do something different, I don’t want to be involved in them.’ But still, that projects our culture. It tells us these things happen and it is real. So, it’s all about our culture.

    Apart from filmmaking, do you do other things to make income?

    I am into fashion. I sell clothes and jewelleries and all that.

    So, if you were to choose between acting and fashion, what would it be?

    I will choose filmmaking ooo (Laughs). I can’t leave it for any reason. I can’t.

     When you look at the Nigerian movie industry, what do you see as the basic challenges?

    Piracy… It has affected me that I can’t produce for now. Until they (government) find solution to it, piracy is a major problem for us.

    So, if piracy is not fought, you’re not going to do movies?

    I won’t because the movie I did, I didn’t see all my money back. But yet, I still went further because I have interest in it.

     Who are some of your role models?

    My role models are Funke Akindele, Mercy Aigbe and Toyin Aimakhu. I like the way they act. They make it real. I want to be like them.

    Can you remember the first time you starred in a movie? How was it like?

    You see, I told you earlier that I saw Ejo Apanirun. That was the movie I watched that moved me into acting. That movie then was part one. So, when I later joined, they said they wanted to go for the part two. So that was the first movie I featured then. And then, they put me in the crowd, so I was like “I don’t want to show I don’t people to see me.” I was still afraid. I didn’t know how I would look. I didn’t know what will happen. I didn’t know what to do.

     Since then, which role has been the most challenging to you?

    That was in Tegbon Taburo when they said I should act as a saucy girl – drinking, smoking, talking to people anyhow. I was like, “how would I do it? How would I go about it?”

     You seem to be shy. Are you?

    Yes. I am.

    So, how do you combine your shyness with acting?

    You see, I don’t have any problem with my shyness. But since I’ve taken acting as my profession, anytime they tell me, “Gbemi, this is what you’re going to do,” as far as I see that the camera is rolling, I get serious. The spirit comes into me and I do whatever they ask me to do perfectly. And that’s it.

    What are some of the things you can’t do?

    What I can’t do is when they ask me to go nude. That is the only thing I can’t do.

     How about if it’s related to the story?

    I don’t know. I can’t do it. But asides from that, I’m free to go.

    Would you say you’ve been fulfilled as an actress?

    Yes, let me say I’ve been because when you set up a company, it doesn’t grow in a day. Thank God I see changes. People call me here and there to come and work for them. So, I’m happy for that.

     Now, as a female actress, you’ll have many male admirers. How do you handle their advances?

    You see, this thing is not a do-or-die affair. It’s easy. Anybody can come to you. It now depends on you to refuse or accept the person. I do handle it very well. If I’m interested, I’ll tell you ‘no problem.’ If I’m not interested, I’m not interested. You can’t force me to do it. Even if you have job to give me, if you know you can’t give me this job without having something with me, just get out. You can go away with your job.

    But have you suffered sexual harassment in the course of your acting career?

    Not really.

    What do you mean by ‘not really’?

    It has not gone that far.

    So, what has happened to you before?

    Somebody called me one day and said, ‘Hello Gbemi, I want you to do something for me but I need to see you first.’ You need to see me but you’ve been seeing my movies before o, you don’t need to see me. You should know what I can do and what I cannot do. So, he insisted that he still wanted to see me. So, when I got there, he said, ‘you can come in.’ He showed me scripts and I asked where was ‘the job I want to do for you?’ He said you have to do it this way, you have to do it that way. I can’t mention the person. So, I lashed the man. And ever since then, I’ve not experienced such thing.

    It’s 2016, what plans are in the offing for the year?

    This 2016, I’m going to produce a movie. And I pray to God that all things go well.

  • What you need to know before going into relationship

    DEAR Harriet, I am 34 years old young lady who wants to achieve certain goals before marriage. Relationship, to me, is give and take, but I have not been so lucky in the past with guys. Therefore, for some years I have pushed relationship aside because of my experience. Now, my parents are distubing me to bring a man home. Help me please.

    Kate O., Port Harcourt.

     

    A relationship is a want not a need. May be you are tired of the dating scene, or that you are tired of pouring time, energy and money into relationships that start off so well with all the excitement, but end with heartache. Could be that you are just frustrated because you don’t know when is the right time to start. May be you’ve been in many serious relationships, but for some unknown reasons, you can’t seem to close the deal, perhaps you are single again and are afraid of making the same mistake that resulted in so much pain and disillusionment in pervious relationships. If you can relate with the above, then you will find this edition of great use.

    Are you ready for a relationship? This is an important question for those who want to start a relationship. It is only you that can answer this question? Friends and relatives might be pressurising you to start dating mostly when they feel that age is not on your side as they claim, forgetting that you are the one going into the relationship not them. However, sometimes they mean well, but in the long run the choice is yours.

    The first way to know if you are ready for a relationship is to be sincere with yourself. Here. are some tips that may help you:

    Ability to define your reason: In a common language, you need to ask yourself ‘why.’ What is your reason. People go into relationship for different reasons, so you need to be clear on it. Trust me, it is very vital to know your ‘why” because when you are faced with the ups and downs only your why will keep you going.

    Your past relationships: Forget about your exes and everything that they did whether you liked it or not. Your new partner or date is not going to be exactly like them and that will be both good and bad. Accept this as quickly as possible and be ready for something fun and completely new.

    Be absolutely prepared to be patient and wait for the right person to come along to spend the rest of your life with. This won’t happen right away, but most people find that person when they least expect.

     

    Nobody at all wants to be with an intensely negative person and for this fact you need to be as positive and upbeat as possible. Being ready for a relationship means that you are ready for everything else that comes with it, only do it if you are prepared.

    If you are embarrassed or self-conscious of your looks (first of all don’t be because everybody is). Then, do everything you can to change them first. A person with low self- esteem based on looks isn’t ready for a relationship and you don’t want to go changing right away if that person likes the way you look.

    Another area to check is your job: What about my job, you may ask; after all, I need a good job to keep a woman. That is, if you are a man with a very demanding job.  If this is you, you need to think it through because no sooner or later you will have to create time for your partner, if not he/she will start complaining and that might affect your relationship, but if you are simply trying to get a foot in the door of a possible career, then you are not ready for a relationship because only a few can understand your situation without making a big deal out of it.

    Do an intense self-evaluation before giving complete approval to the idea of being ready for a relationship. Take a good hard look at yourself and pay attention to your habits because your significant other will tell you about them soon enough and that will only make you angry.

    Remember what it is from previous relationships that doomed your chances of a long-term situation from both sides. What are the attitude that you have that turned him/her off and what are his/her that you could not stand. Now the question that comes to mind is are you ready to change because the chances are that it might come up again, so are you ready to deal with it now or later?

    Please remember that regardless of if you agree or not, there is another person at play in your decision of if you are ready for a relationship. That other person should be respected and treated as good as you want to be, don’t doom this relationship and others by disrespecting your other half.

    Furthermore, financial independence must be put into consideration. Everyone should have some financial freedom before going into a relationship because if you don’t have something doing, you won’t be happy even if you date, fall in love, and get married. Why you may ask, the truth of the matter is that you will have nothing to offer to the relationship, and you will drain your spouse/ partner completely dry. Inevitably, you will be putting extraordinary expectations on the other person to fulfil you, complete you and also make you happy. A regular source of income must be put into consideration. This is not been materialistic. It is reality. Money has caused a lot of problems in relationships. Therefore, it is wise for you to, at least, have a source of income.

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • ‘Creativity key to client-agency relationship’

    Client collaboration with agencies is key to creativity in marketing communication field, said the President of Association of Advertising Agency of Nigeria (AAAN), Mr. Kelechi Nwosu.

    He spoke during the 10th edition of the Lagos Advertising Ideas Festival (LAIF) Award.

    He said better creative work equals better growth while better creative works can only be achieved through clients/agencies’ collaboration.

    He, however, urged clients and agencies to have authentic ideas that resonate with Nigerians, adding: “What we hear is that authentic work from us is what will win internationally. And that authentic work will cause better growth for brands.”

    He said the LAIF Award was organised to improve relevant body of creative knowledge with the aim of rewarding excellence in the advertising creative industry.

    He said: “Our aim is improving the relevant body of creative knowledge with the aim of rewarding excellence in creativity as a proactive attitude at encouraging creative ingenuity. You will agree with me that creative award is the only reward for excellence in creativity, which is the currency of our business.”

    He maintained that creativity is fast gaining currency and Nigeria now than ever needs creativity in government, in private sector, in infrastructure in entertainment and in business.

    “Even creativity is needed in the fight against Boko Haram. Government needs creativity to come out of the present economic problem. We are here; we can give government fresh creative approach. This year our theme of Creative Inspiring Life is so true to our words; we have created two public advocacy campaigns: one is to fight corruption. The other is the unity campaign. We will start the campaign soon with the support of the sectoral group collaborators,” he said.

    According to him, to boost LAIF, students should be carried along, with the Young LAIFERS award being introduced.

    “So creativity will continue to inspire life and LAIF will continue to inspire creativity. See how many more agencies have entered into Cannes and the Crystal Awards. Three of our agencies won awards at Crystal this year. All these show that creativity is gaining currency,” he said.

  • ‘She was carrying another man’s child, yet planning to wed me!’ (2)

    Looking back now in view of what occurred later, I should not have taken everything Cyndi told me at face value. But you see, I loved this lady so much and trusted and believed in her. I was madly, blindly in love and it blinded me to her faults and shortcomings.

    Anyway, as the saying goes, experience is the best teacher. Whatever happens to a man is for his own good because if he is wise, he will learn from his mistakes and make better choices  in life. To get back to my story, our wedding plans went on as scheduled with little hitches here and there. My mother, in her eagerness to put up a great, ‘show- stopping ceremony’ as she called it, handled most of the arrangements herself. She even took Cyndi to the U.K to shop for her wedding gown and other items women love to buy.

    My mother really tried. “You are my only son; if I don’t do this for you, who will?” she would say whenever I pleaded with her to reduce the scale of the wedding. As for my father, you know how men are when they are married to women like my mother who like to have their way most of the time. For the sake of peace, he allows her to get away with a lot of things other men would not tolerate.

    “Why do you think our marriage has lasted all this while; this year will be our 41st wedding anniversary. One of us had to be deaf and dumb to make it work. Unfortunately, I your father had to play that role,” he said with a wry smile one evening while we were having drinks at the gazebo in the garden of our house. I knew what he meant. My father is the calm, cool-headed type who hardly shouts. Unlike my mother who is more of a drama queen- loud, blunt and argumentative. 
    “I’m not sure I’m ready to do all that, be a fool or a deaf-mute just for my marriage to work,” I remarked.
    My Dad just laughed and said:
    “My son, you will soon join the institution. You will understand what I’m saying when you get in. I wish you luck!” He raised his glass of brandy and made a toast to my future happiness to my bride…

    ***
    “Honey, I think you need to talk to my father o! He’s still insisting that my Mum can’t be at our wedding,” Cyndi stated one day. We were at her small apartment and had just finished eating the meal her young cousin, Gloria, a student on holiday had prepared.
    “I thought that issue had been sorted out,” I said, picking up the remote to change the channel to a sports channel where a premier league game was showing. Due their age-long quarrel and differences, Cyndi’s parents even after so many years had gone by, could not stand each other. Her Dad in particular, hated his ex-wife so much, he could not bear to mention her name. 

    “I believed so as well, especially after my uncle, Gloria’s Dad had spoken to him. Then, yesterday, when we spoke on the phone, he said he was no longer coming as he did not want to be in the same room as ‘that woman’ as he calls my Mum,” she said, a deep frown marring her smooth face.
    I drew her to me and stated reassuringly:
    “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’m sure he will change his mind.”
    “He had better o! Or does he want me to go and ‘rent’ a father at Oshodi who will walk me down the aisle?” she grumbled. Gloria, who was sitting nearby on an armchair, laughed.
    “You find it funny, abi? Wait till your own turn comes and your Dad threatens to boycott your wedding and you will see how funny it is!” Cyndi said, hissing.

    Bachelor’s eve
    Reggie, who was to be one of my groomsmen and other friends of mine decided to organize a bachelor’s eve party for me. The venue was a new nightlub that was the newest hangout for many of the city’s silver spoon kids. 
    “Must you go? It’s not compulsory to have a bachelor’s eve, you know,” said Cyndi a day before the party which was a week before our wedding day.

    I laughed and said:
    “Jealousy! Are you scared I will go off with one of the hot babes that will be there?” 
    “Just try it! I have my spies, so don’t try any silly games o! You guys are always up to no good at such parties,” Cyndi stated vehemently.
    “Baby, your fears are misplaced. You know there’s no one but you for me. Now and forever,” I vowed, hugging her tightly to me. She smiled then and began to talk about the hairstyle and makeup she planned to do for her big day…

    The party went well and everyone was having a nice time. Then, just before the high point of the night when my friends were to ‘wash’ my head with drinks, someone hailed me. I turned and saw it was Dr Rogers, an old school mate of mine in secondary school.
    It looked as if he had just arrived as I had not seen him earlier.
    “Jeff, my guy! So you are leaving us behind in the bachelors’ club!” he said jokingly as he gave me a bear hug. I laughed, and punching him playfully on the chest, said:

    “Yes o, my brother. I’m getting old, you know. Time one settled down. I think you should do the same soon; find a nice girl and quit this your womanising!” 
    He laughed, then said: “Remind me to do that in five years time! Anyway, congrats! I should say double congratulations because of the baby as well.” Then he turned to talk to a mutual friend that just came up.

    The music inside the venue was loud and thumping so I thought my ears were deceiving me when Rogers said something about a baby. What baby was he talking about, I wondered. Later, on noticing he was alone, I grabbed his hand and dragged him outside where it was less noisy.
    “Guy, what’s up. We should be inside having fun not hanging outside,” Rogers protested.
    “Chill, this won’t take long. What did you mean about a baby while we were talking inside or were you drunk?” I said.

    “I might have taken a few beers, but I’m not drunk yet. Unlike you, I have a large capacity for alcohol. Anyway, is that why you dragged me here. Don’t tell me you did not know your bride-to-be is pregnant?” he said.
    Pregnant? Cyndi? Was this a joke or what? I stood, gazing at him in the dim light, too shocked for words. Then I finally spoke.

    “Rogers, if this is a joke, it’s not funny. Tell me this is not true!”
    “Why would I joke with something like that? My colleague Charles, was the one who attended to her when she came to our hospital, I think she said she had fever or something. That was about a week ago. Anyway, I overheard him discussing it with someone in his office. It’s no secret. How come you are acting so shocked! You guys are getting married in a week’s time, so what’s the big deal if she’s pregnant. 

    “The pregnancy is still young, so it won’t even show in her wedding gown if that’s what you are worried about. Besides, these days, cases of pregnant brides are quite common. Some were even rushed from the wedding reception to the delivery room to give birth. As a doctor, I have seen a lot in my career. So, guy, cheer up and lets go catch some fun! I need to check out one of those hot babes in there!” said Rogers, patting me on the shoulder.
    But I flung his hand away and almost shouted at him:
    “How can you stand there and tell me to go have fun when my world, my life is crumbling in front of me!”

    “How! What are you talking about?” Rogers queried in a worried tone.
    “You don’t understand. If truly Cyndi is pregnant as your colleague says, then I can’t be responsible,” I said grimly.
    He shook his head.
    “You are right, I don’t understand. Why won’t you be the one responsible. You have been dating for a year or so now. Don’t tell me…” he began to say then stopped.
    “Yes. I have never touched Cyndi in that way since we have been together. We have never slept together…” I told him.
    “Then, who, how come…” he said in a confused manner…

    So, who is responsible for Cyndi’s pregnancy? The mystery will be revealed later today so stay logged on!

    To be continued…


    Names have been changed to protect the identity of individuals in the story.

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